Jambo dans les Pyrenees Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 There's been a change of plan. 2 new bursd have entered the scene. Blondie and Boobies and i'm gonna call them. Neither of which are fat. The Blooter is busy with her house moving and I've just found out she's away on holiday with her pals in a week so i'm gonna leave her alone for now. Here's the good part though lads. Boobies is pals with my ex!! I honestly thought she was at the wind up! I even text the ex to say "nice try" as I thought she had put her up to it to fish for info or whatever. The ex apparently didn't know what I was going on about and boobies said she didn't even know who I was! Obviously i'm still a bit suspicious, but I've not said anything to put myself in harms way so we'll see what happens!! You've got three choices. 1. She is on the level, and there's no espionage from the ex. Rattle her sideways. 2. She is planning on sending the secret wiretaps back to HQ. Rattle her sideways. 3. She is capable of becoming a double agent. Rattle her a'ways. It's good to make sure you carefully consider the options before reaching your conclusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alwayssunnyingorgie Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Never pump a fatty, I made that mistake once I can still taste her ***** it was like doing press ups all night, I left with sore arms and full balls it really did leave a bad taste in my mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 You've got three choices. 1. She is on the level, and there's no espionage from the ex. Rattle her sideways. 2. She is planning on sending the secret wiretaps back to HQ. Rattle her sideways. 3. She is capable of becoming a double agent. Rattle her a'ways. It's good to make sure you carefully consider the options before reaching your conclusion. You could be on to something there. I know for a fact she's single so even if she was a spy, she could still easily be turned. Also, the fact that she knows my ex means that I'm a safer option than any of the other weirdos on POF. It's like having a reference on a CV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 You could be on to something there. I know for a fact she's single so even if she was a spy, she could still easily be turned. Also, the fact that she knows my ex means that I'm a safer option than any of the other weirdos on POF. It's like having a reference on a CV. Word of Caution. Never shit on your own doorstep, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 (edited) Word of Caution. Never shit on your own doorstep, This. World of pain if it worked out if that bursd is in the same social circle as the ex. Pump her once though. Natch. Edited March 24, 2017 by Sarah O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboz Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Normally bird are huge arsed from the waist down. She must look like a fecking Russian doll! I fecking hate those Russian dolls. They are so full of themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 So whose picture did you add ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarkus1981 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 You could be on to something there. I know for a fact she's single so even if she was a spy, she could still easily be turned. Also, the fact that she knows my ex means that I'm a safer option than any of the other weirdos on POF. It's like having a reference on a CV. She dumped you. Pump her mate, if she finds out what's she going to do? Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 This. World of pain if it worked out if that bursd is in the same social circle as the ex. Pump her once though. Natch. I thought she was in the same social circle but according to her, they're not close. I've woke up even more suspicious than I felt last night though. Just with all the questions about what I was doing over the weekend ect. Maybe she just wants pumped mind you. Either way, I'm going to have to tread carefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I thought she was in the same social circle but according to her, they're not close. I've woke up even more suspicious than I felt last night though. Just with all the questions about what I was doing over the weekend ect. Maybe she just wants pumped mind you. Either way, I'm going to have to tread carefully. Shag first. Question later. Your ex has no claims on you now so just pump her. Is she nice looking tho? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Shag first. Question later. Your ex has no claims on you now so just pump her. Is she nice looking tho? Aye, I'm no worried about what my ex thinks. She's a cow. My only concern is that she put her up to messaging me! She's no bad looking aye. Not a bit of fat on her by the looks of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarkus1981 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Aye, I'm no worried about what my ex thinks. She's a cow. My only concern is that she put her up to messaging me! She's no bad looking aye. Not a bit of fat on her by the looks of it. Fling it up her Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Aye, I'm no worried about what my ex thinks. She's a cow. My only concern is that she put her up to messaging me! She's no bad looking aye. Not a bit of fat on her by the looks of it. Get it done. The only thing I would be cautious of is if your ex was to use it in any capacity to stop you seeing your kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Update: I'm back at my house looking after the kids so I asked the ex before she buggered off to who knows where, if she really didn't know what I was talking about yesterday. She didn't have a clue! and actually said " so are you going to tell me what your on about" I said.... NAW. So her pal is a goer! Also, Blondie has just left me speechless. I've spent bloody days talking to bursd on POF and it just seems to go on and on. This is the 2nd day talking to blondie and she goes "so, were you thinking of asking me out?" Whaaaaaaaat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Update: I'm back at my house looking after the kids so I asked the ex before she buggered off to who knows where, if she really didn't know what I was talking about yesterday. She didn't have a clue! and actually said " so are you going to tell me what your on about" I said.... NAW. So her pal is a goer! Also, Blondie has just left me speechless. I've spent bloody days talking to bursd on POF and it just seems to go on and on. This is the 2nd day talking to blondie and she goes "so, were you thinking of asking me out?" Whaaaaaaaat! Yeah, you quickly learn to cut to the chase on these sites. Have your spiel about what you are after, get her telt, if she's still talking to you after then happy days. If not then you've just saved yourself time, effort and probably a decent wedge on drinks and maybe dinner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) ... Edited March 25, 2017 by Poseidon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Wasn't going to divulge this info but I've had a few beers so what the **** right So i think I'm a relatively attractive guy etc and I've been making sure of getting myself in good shape etc for these dates and all that. But now as it feels like progress has been made, i felt a bit conscious about one thing in particular...excess body hair. Now I'm not talking about my sack but my back which let's be honest, was getting to the gorillas in the mist stage. I can take care of the rest but yeah what the **** do you do about that? Well, only one thing for it right, book in for a wax, man up and get it done. Which brings us to today..... rocking up at the beauty place at 9.20am all set after a coffee and bacon roll from Greggs. All seems to be going well, getting a nice warm welcome, intro and all that nonsense and then get taken through the back to lie down and make myself comfortable. And then it begins. Not only were the hairs stripped away, but also felt like about 4 layers of skin, all my dignity and finally afterwards, the paltry amount in my wallet. What the **** actually happened there? After it was done i was given a minute to apply (liberally) some calming lotion and then get my shirt back on. As i was doing so, i happened to notice a print out with the next appointment listed.... Was tempted to hang around and ask Lisa if she fancied going for a cuppa after her half leg and Brazilian..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Wasn't going to divulge this info but I've had a few beers so what the **** right So i think I'm a relatively attractive guy etc and I've been making sure of getting myself in good shape etc for these dates and all that. But now as it feels like progress has been made, i felt a bit conscious about one thing in particular...excess body hair. Now I'm not talking about my sack but my back which let's be honest, was getting to the gorillas in the mist stage. I can take care of the rest but yeah what the **** do you do about that? Well, only one thing for it right, book in for a wax, man up and get it done. Which brings us to today..... rocking up at the beauty place at 9.20am all set after a coffee and bacon roll from Greggs. All seems to be going well, getting a nice warm welcome, intro and all that nonsense and then get taken through the back to lie down and make myself comfortable. And then it begins. Not only were the hairs stripped away, but also felt like about 4 layers of skin, all my dignity and finally afterwards, the paltry amount in my wallet. What the **** actually happened there? After it was done i was given a minute to apply (liberally) some calming lotion and then get my shirt back on. As i was doing so, i happened to notice a print out with the next appointment listed.... Was tempted to hang around and ask Lisa if she fancied going for a cuppa after her half leg and Brazilian..... You should have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 There's been a change of plan. 2 new bursd have entered the scene. Blondie and Boobies and i'm gonna call them. Neither of which are fat. The Blooter is busy with her house moving and I've just found out she's away on holiday with her pals in a week so i'm gonna leave her alone for now. Here's the good part though lads. Boobies is pals with my ex!! I honestly thought she was at the wind up! I even text the ex to say "nice try" as I thought she had put her up to it to fish for info or whatever. The ex apparently didn't know what I was going on about and boobies said she didn't even know who I was! Obviously i'm still a bit suspicious, but I've not said anything to put myself in harms way so we'll see what happens!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theshed Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Wasn't going to divulge this info but I've had a few beers so what the **** right So i think I'm a relatively attractive guy etc and I've been making sure of getting myself in good shape etc for these dates and all that. But now as it feels like progress has been made, i felt a bit conscious about one thing in particular...excess body hair. Now I'm not talking about my sack but my back which let's be honest, was getting to the gorillas in the mist stage. I can take care of the rest but yeah what the **** do you do about that? Well, only one thing for it right, book in for a wax, man up and get it done. Which brings us to today..... rocking up at the beauty place at 9.20am all set after a coffee and bacon roll from Greggs. All seems to be going well, getting a nice warm welcome, intro and all that nonsense and then get taken through the back to lie down and make myself comfortable. And then it begins. Not only were the hairs stripped away, but also felt like about 4 layers of skin, all my dignity and finally afterwards, the paltry amount in my wallet. What the **** actually happened there? After it was done i was given a minute to apply (liberally) some calming lotion and then get my shirt back on. As i was doing so, i happened to notice a print out with the next appointment listed.... Was tempted to hang around and ask Lisa if she fancied going for a cuppa after her half leg and Brazilian... No easier just buying a shaver and shaving it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) Wasn't going to divulge this info but I've had a few beers so what the **** right So i think I'm a relatively attractive guy etc and I've been making sure of getting myself in good shape etc for these dates and all that. But now as it feels like progress has been made, i felt a bit conscious about one thing in particular...excess body hair. Now I'm not talking about my sack but my back which let's be honest, was getting to the gorillas in the mist stage. I can take care of the rest but yeah what the **** do you do about that? Well, only one thing for it right, book in for a wax, man up and get it done. Which brings us to today..... rocking up at the beauty place at 9.20am all set after a coffee and bacon roll from Greggs. All seems to be going well, getting a nice warm welcome, intro and all that nonsense and then get taken through the back to lie down and make myself comfortable. And then it begins. Not only were the hairs stripped away, but also felt like about 4 layers of skin, all my dignity and finally afterwards, the paltry amount in my wallet. What the **** actually happened there? After it was done i was given a minute to apply (liberally) some calming lotion and then get my shirt back on. As i was doing so, i happened to notice a print out with the next appointment listed.... Was tempted to hang around and ask Lisa if she fancied going for a cuppa after her half leg and Brazilian... No easier just buying a shaver and shaving it? His own back? Edited March 25, 2017 by Morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I did get someone to shave the ****er before but the mighty boosh was back all too soon. Not keen on repeating today's experience mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Wasn't going to divulge this info but I've had a few beers so what the **** right So i think I'm a relatively attractive guy etc and I've been making sure of getting myself in good shape etc for these dates and all that. But now as it feels like progress has been made, i felt a bit conscious about one thing in particular...excess body hair. Now I'm not talking about my sack but my back which let's be honest, was getting to the gorillas in the mist stage. I can take care of the rest but yeah what the **** do you do about that? Well, only one thing for it right, book in for a wax, man up and get it done. Which brings us to today..... rocking up at the beauty place at 9.20am all set after a coffee and bacon roll from Greggs. All seems to be going well, getting a nice warm welcome, intro and all that nonsense and then get taken through the back to lie down and make myself comfortable. And then it begins. Not only were the hairs stripped away, but also felt like about 4 layers of skin, all my dignity and finally afterwards, the paltry amount in my wallet. What the **** actually happened there? After it was done i was given a minute to apply (liberally) some calming lotion and then get my shirt back on. As i was doing so, i happened to notice a print out with the next appointment listed.... Was tempted to hang around and ask Lisa if she fancied going for a cuppa after her half leg and Brazilian... No easier just buying a shaver and shaving it? You tried shaving your own back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 So anyway, I've got the kids now til Wednesday so I'm stacking them up for after that. If i cant get my hole in the next few weeks then there's no hope and I'd be as well just ending it all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theshed Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 There's been a change of plan. 2 new bursd have entered the scene. Blondie and Boobies and i'm gonna call them. Neither of which are fat. The Blooter is busy with her house moving and I've just found out she's away on holiday with her pals in a week so i'm gonna leave her alone for now. Here's the good part though lads. Boobies is pals with my ex!! I honestly thought she was at the wind up! I even text the ex to say "nice try" as I thought she had put her up to it to fish for info or whatever. The ex apparently didn't know what I was going on about and boobies said she didn't even know who I was! Obviously i'm still a bit suspicious, but I've not said anything to put myself in harms way so we'll see what happens!! Can I ask where the blooter bird is from? I know a chunky bird who is on a few dating sites and who is away on holiday with her pals next week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Can I ask where the blooter bird is from? I know a chunky bird who is on a few dating sites and who is away on holiday with her pals next week Don't we all man. Don't we all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Can I ask where the blooter bird is from? I know a chunky bird who is on a few dating sites and who is away on holiday with her pals next week Boyfriend/Husband of Chunky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Boyfriend/Husband of Chunky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Can I ask where the blooter bird is from? I know a chunky bird who is on a few dating sites and who is away on holiday with her pals next week I'm not at liberty to give out such sensitive information lol I will however tell you if it's a match! Where's your chunky from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theshed Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 I'm not at liberty to give out such sensitive information lol I will however tell you if it's a match! Where's your chunky from? She's not my chunky although I'm sure no one believes me Balerno/Currie area?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alwayssunnyingorgie Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 She's not my chunky although I'm sure no one believes me Balerno/Currie area?? My wee cousin is fat and stays up there, does she look like a mix man in drag and a shar pei?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 She's not my chunky although I'm sure no one believes me Balerno/Currie area?? Nah mate. Miles away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Oh, I almost forgot to say. Blooter isn't talking to me anymore Cos I sent my message for boobies to her by accident! Haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Oh, I almost forgot to say. Blooter isn't talking to me anymore Cos I sent my message for boobies to her by accident! Haha Lesson. Be careful. Like others said no hanky panky on your own doorstep. Bin the ex's pal. It is a setup. None more devious than the female of the human species. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 ame="theshed" post="5931814" timestamp="1490479535"] You tried shaving your own back? I use spray on Veet but my Mrs does it for us. I'm guessing if yer online dating you'd be toiling to get one of the bursds to do it for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 (edited) Lesson. Be careful. Like others said no hanky panky on your own doorstep. Bin the ex's pal. It is a setup. None more devious than the female of the human species. I'm actually 99% sure it's not mate. She's no close to her. Only see's her at school picking up the kids. I've been speaking to her literally all day. She's sent me pictures and everything. Not a peep about it from the ex. Edited March 26, 2017 by Greedy_Jambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Making progress here. Slow progress but patience is key. Got a date with Blondie on Saturday and I can literally call boobies "big tits" now and she doesn't even mind. Ha. Hoping to get round to hers before the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitzroy Pointon Posted March 27, 2017 Author Share Posted March 27, 2017 (edited) Making progress here. Slow progress but patience is key. Got a date with Blondie on Saturday and I can literally call boobies "big tits" now and she doesn't even mind. Ha. Hoping to get round to hers before the weekend. Things are looking up Greedy. Bet you've had a spring in your step this last couple of weeks. Edited March 27, 2017 by Salad Fingers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Making progress here. Slow progress but patience is key. Got a date with Blondie on Saturday and I can literally call boobies "big tits" now and she doesn't even mind. Ha. Hoping to get round to hers before the weekend. Good lad. Keep it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Brown Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 So anyway, I've got the kids now til Wednesday so I'm stacking them up for after that. If i cant get my hole in the next few weeks then there's no hope and I'd be as well just ending it all! We need a volunteer to write Poseidon's obituary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 We need a volunteer to write Poseidon's obituary. He died with his boots on:-0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romulus Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Signed up to POF. Interesting times ahead... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamboelite Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Making progress here. Slow progress but patience is key. Got a date with Blondie on Saturday and I can literally call boobies "big tits" now and she doesn't even mind. Ha. Hoping to get round to hers before the weekend. Boobies is a slam dunk get it done.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitzroy Pointon Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Kickback should get some sort of commission for getting so many people signed up. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 He needs to get some pictures of them big paps, I'll have a pm of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 He needs to get some pictures of them big paps, I'll have a pm of them Get to the barbers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewis2006 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Making progress here. Slow progress but patience is key. Got a date with Blondie on Saturday and I can literally call boobies "big tits" now and she doesn't even mind. Ha. Hoping to get round to hers before the weekend. "Big tits" With patter like that it's no wonder your wife left you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 "Big tits" With patter like that it's no wonder your wife left you. That's shan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 "Big tits" With patter like that it's no wonder your wife left you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 That's shan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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