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Salad Fingers

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Salad Fingers

Need some advice lads and lassies.

 

Been single for about a year now. Between having the kids every Friday and every second Friday/Saturday I have found it difficult to get out there and meet a woman. Anyway I thought I would give online dating a try (nothing fancy, I'm not paying for it yet).

 

Anyway after about a month of talking to some nice and some not so nice girls one in particular messaged me. She was pretty much bang on, nice girl, nice photo, great patter and banter. Anyway what worried me was that she only had one picture. So we continued to chat and I gave her my number. Everything was going well, a little too well and she sent me another picture of her at a party. However it was a screen shot from Facebook and I seen the date at the top, 2011. Continued to chat in the hope that she still resembled that. Then she hit me with he picture from last week of her on holiday, of her and her dad. Now I could have sworn she sent me a picture of her parents. She looked terrible, nothing compared to her profile picture.

 

the problem is now that I don't fancy her. However she has cracking patter and the chat between us is top notch. I'm not the kind of guy to go for a girl based on looks alone but this is taking the piss. I also am not an oil painting myself but I'm still fairly young and I would say handsome enough (just) to do a lot better.

 

Now my question is how to I let her down gently cos I now don't want to meet her.

 

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Need some advice lads and lassies.

 

Been single for about a year now. Between having the kids every Friday and every second Friday/Saturday I have found it difficult to get out there and meet a woman. Anyway I thought I would give online dating a try (nothing fancy, I'm not paying for it yet).

 

Anyway after about a month of talking to some nice and some not so nice girls one in particular messaged me. She was pretty much bang on, nice girl, nice photo, great patter and banter. Anyway what worried me was that she only had one picture. So we continued to chat and I gave her my number. Everything was going well, a little too well and she sent me another picture of her at a party. However it was a screen shot from Facebook and I seen the date at the top, 2011. Continued to chat in the hope that she still resembled that. Then she hit me with he picture from last week of her on holiday, of her and her dad. Now I could have sworn she sent me a picture of her parents. She looked terrible, nothing compared to her profile picture.

 

the problem is now that I don't fancy her. However she has cracking patter and the chat between us is top notch. I'm not the kind of guy to go for a girl based on looks alone but this is taking the piss. I also am not an oil painting myself but I'm still fairly young and I would say handsome enough (just) to do a lot better.

 

Now my question is how to I let her down gently cos I now don't want to meet her.

 

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Sounds like you are going by looks, and nothing wrong with that. We all do it.

 

Mind you, a book with a dull cover sometimes can turn out to be a good read

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Salad Fingers

Post pics so we can assess the situ.

I couldn't possibly for fear of ridicule :rofl:

 

I feel bad for even saying that cos she really is a nice lass but putting it lightly, she isn't the brawest.

 

As the poster above says, she should have a recent pic up. David Brent was right when he said they should be holding a copy of today's newspaper :rofl:

 

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Salad Fingers

Have you sent her a pic yet?

No, but my profile had a good few recent ones. She said, when was your profile pic taken? I said yesterday. She seemed genuinely surprised.

 

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No, but my profile had a good few recent ones. She said, when was your profile pic taken? I said yesterday. She seemed genuinely surprised.

 

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I had a lass from Dunfermline try and pull this kinda shit on me.

 

Looked bang on but was wary as every pic was just of her coupon.

 

I asked her to add me on facebook and it turned out she was a whale and her dating site pics were from nineteen canteen.

 

Unfriended within the hour and patched her. 

 

Seems harsh but she could have been done by trading standards.

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chester copperpot

Best person for online dating advice is Mitchell.

 

He has snared some belters over the years

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Regal Kingston

If the banter is good I'd meet her

Sometime the camera doesn't do a person justice

 

Nothing to lose.

If she isn't physically attractive for you just tell her (softly!) and move on.

She would appreciate the honesty in the long run and maybe hit the gym to improve herself

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Harry Potter

Good luck in your hope for decent advice on here. 

 

I had a lass from Dunfermline try and pull this kinda shit on me.

 

Looked bang on but was wary as every pic was just of her coupon.

 

I asked her to add me on facebook and it turned out she was a whale and her dating site pics were from nineteen canteen.

 

Unfriended within the hour and patched her. 

 

Seems harsh but she could have been done by trading standards.

Bit harsh on the lass, bet she was a good cook.

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Meet her, she just how good the banter is, if you don't want to meet her again fair enough, you can always give her the "it's just not the right time yet" bollox, you might even get a wee bonus gam out of the night!!!

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Maroon Sailor

If the banter is good I'd meet her

Sometime the camera doesn't do a person justice

Nothing to lose.

If she isn't physically attractive for you just tell her (softly!) and move on.

She would appreciate the honesty in the long run and maybe hit the gym to improve herself

This is what my thinking is

 

Tell her at the end of the date that the spark isn't there for you

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Meet her, she just how good the banter is, if you don't want to meet her again fair enough, you can always give her the "it's just not the right time yet" bollox, you might even get a wee bonus gam out of the night!!!

 

What's the point tho? There's literally thousands of tidy birds online why was your time with a munter??

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chester copperpot

I had a bash a few years back and most of the girls I met were totally damaged but almost all of them were gagging for it and great in the sack.

 

Didn't go on more than 3 dates with any of them tho!

 

Tbh though I wasn't looking for anything serious at the time though

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My mate met a good few burds on "plenty more fish"(?) all no strings attached meets for a shag!! He got talking to one lass from Nottingham, he had the same, one pic of her face and one of her *****, apparently it's the thing to do!!! He was a bit suspicious but jumped on a train to Nottingham to meet her, she turned out to be a fecking whale!!! He said he didn't have the heart to do a runner as soon as eye contact was made, he felt he had to follow through, he's all heart is Derek!!! He recons even the wee blue pill get him sorted!! Anyway with the very real prospect of burning his erse on the ceiling light if he managed to climb on he gave her the "it's been a long journey and I'm a bit tired" line, got dressed and buggerd off!! He phoned on the train journey home, both of us were pissing our selves!!!! I'd make sure all pics are recent and from head to toe

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Salad Fingers

I'm pissed off cos I wasted three weeks talking to her (she was on holiday for two of them). But now I don't want to hurt her feelings.

 

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What's the point tho? There's literally thousands of tidy birds online why was your time with a munter??

If the banter is good you might have a half decent decent night out, it'd be better than a night dragging on with a half decent looking piece that bores the tits off you, and a gams a gam!!

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Similar thing happened to me, I ended up meeting up with the lassie because she had good banter etc and she turned out to be a total psycho. Saying she can't wait to have kids with me etc - during the first date.

 

Then someone that I actually liked walked into the bar! Disaster! She came over so I had to introduce my mess of a first date -

 

Me - 'Hi Sarah haven't seen you in ages! This is my friend, this is Sarah'

 

Psycho - 'emmm I think we are a bit more than friends!'

 

Was a complete nightmare of a night, end of the night we said our goodbyes and she sent about 100texts within 24 hours after I told her it wouldn't work out.

 

That was my first and last online date

 

:lol:

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Similar thing happened to me, I ended up meeting up with the lassie because she had good banter etc and she turned out to be a total psycho. Saying she can't wait to have kids with me etc - during the first date.

Then someone that I actually liked walked into the bar! Disaster! She came over so I had to introduce my mess of a first date -

Me - 'Hi Sarah haven't seen you in ages! This is my friend, this is Sarah'

Psycho - 'emmm I think we are a bit more than friends!'

Was a complete nightmare of a night, end of the night we said our goodbyes and she sent about 100texts within 24 hours after I told her it wouldn't work out.

That was my first and last online date

:lol:

She sounds really desperate, vulnerable and needy............do you still have her number?!!!
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jonnothejambo

I had a bash a few years back and most of the girls I met were totally damaged but almost all of them were gagging for it and great in the sack.

 

Didn't go on more than 3 dates with any of them tho!

 

Tbh though I wasn't looking for anything serious at the time though

The silver tongued cavalier strikes again.

 

:facepalm:

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jonnothejambo

My mate met a good few burds on "plenty more fish"(?) all no strings attached meets for a shag!! He got talking to one lass from Nottingham, he had the same, one pic of her face and one of her ######, apparently it's the thing to do!!! He was a bit suspicious but jumped on a train to Nottingham to meet her, she turned out to be a fecking whale!!! He said he didn't have the heart to do a runner as soon as eye contact was made, he felt he had to follow through, he's all heart is Derek!!! He recons even the wee blue pill get him sorted!! Anyway with the very real prospect of burning his erse on the ceiling light if he managed to climb on he gave her the "it's been a long journey and I'm a bit tired" line, got dressed and buggerd off!! He phoned on the train journey home, both of us were pissing our selves!!!! I'd make sure all pics are recent and from head to toe

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

In the garden and near Stantoned myself reading this post.

 

Getting strange looks from my wife.

 

By the way, great post Derek :wink:

Edited by jonnothejambo
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Salad Fingers

My mate met a good few burds on "plenty more fish"(?) all no strings attached meets for a shag!! He got talking to one lass from Nottingham, he had the same, one pic of her face and one of her ######, apparently it's the thing to do!!! He was a bit suspicious but jumped on a train to Nottingham to meet her, she turned out to be a fecking whale!!! He said he didn't have the heart to do a runner as soon as eye contact was made, he felt he had to follow through, he's all heart is Derek!!! He recons even the wee blue pill get him sorted!! Anyway with the very real prospect of burning his erse on the ceiling light if he managed to climb on he gave her the "it's been a long journey and I'm a bit tired" line, got dressed and buggerd off!! He phoned on the train journey home, both of us were pissing our selves!!!! I'd make sure all pics are recent and from head to toe

:rofl: going to Nottingham for a ride is pure commitment. I admire that.

 

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:rofl: going to Nottingham for a ride is pure commitment. I admire that.

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To be fair, he lives in Leeds so not too far, not far enough as it turned out!!
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jonnothejambo

:rofl: going to Nottingham for a ride is pure commitment. I admire that.

 

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Pure desperation mair like.

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If you don't find her attractive just sack it off. No point in meeting up with her if you already know you don't find her attractive. It would just be giving her false hope that something might happen between you. Just give her a line about potentially getting back your ex or something, end of the conversation.

 

In fairness she has kind of brought it on herself anyway. What is the point in being shady with your profile pics on these sites, if all goes we'll eventually you are going to have to meet them anyway

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Riddley Walker

Why don't you post your recent conversation with her to give us a bit of context then we can decide where we'll go with it.

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Salad Fingers

If you don't find her attractive just sack it off. No point in meeting up with her if you already know you don't find her attractive. It would just be giving her false hope that something might happen between you. Just give her a line about potentially getting back your ex or something, end of the conversation.

 

In fairness she has kind of brought it on herself anyway. What is the point in being shady with your profile pics on these sites, if all goes we'll eventually you are going to have to meet them anyway

See i was thinking of using the ex excuse, I might have to use that soon.

 

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Heartsmad1874

Pretend your busy and give her extremely slow replies till you just stop replying all together. Easiest way [emoji106]

 

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some tips from previous experience a few years back. Meet up as quick as you can otherwise you'll get some fake attachment to a bird who you meet and don't like. Never trust any profiles with one picture or all head shots. Means she'll be fat. Nothing wrong with fat girls. It's the hiding of it that's annoying. Try and find them on Facebook where there's likely to be more normal photos.

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Why don't you post your recent conversation with her to give us a bit of context then we can decide where we'll go with it.

A wise suggestion. :jjyay:

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Riddley Walker

A wise suggestion. :jjyay:

I think we can all agree that we just want the best for Salad Fingers and his new flame. But he needs to give us the tools to help us help him.

 

No point in starting this thread without screenshots and pics IMO.

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I think we can all agree that we just want the best for Salad Fingers and his new flame. But he needs to give us the tools to help us help him.

 

No point in starting this thread without screenshots and pics IMO.

Another excellent, salient point.

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Can you not at least point us in the direction of the site you're on and the girl you're speaking too?? We could then see what she looks like and see just how minging you patter is!!!!

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Salad Fingers

Can you not at least point us in the direction of the site you're on and the girl you're speaking too?? We could then see what she looks like and see just how minging you patter is!!!!

:rofl: my patter is decent, a little too decent for her. I'm regretting even replying to her.

 

She invited me over to hers today. She is making steak pie. I'm now torn.

 

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chester copperpot

:rofl: my patter is decent, a little too decent for her. I'm regretting even replying to her.

 

She invited me over to hers today. She is making steak pie. I'm now torn.

 

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Go pump and get a scran.

 

I fail to see how you can lose out of this situation. Remember and practise safe sex and not let her know where you stay ;)

 

Oh and blob up!

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Ask her where the Steak pie is from? If its from a good butchers I would go.  Then use the Ex excuse after 

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Maroon Sailor

:rofl: my patter is decent, a little too decent for her. I'm regretting even replying to her.

She invited me over to hers today. She is making steak pie. I'm now torn.

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A Desperate Dan cow pie by the sounds of her
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...a bit disco

:rofl: my patter is decent, a little too decent for her. I'm regretting even replying to her.

 

She invited me over to hers today. She is making steak pie. I'm now torn.

 

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Steak pie and a gobble?

 

:locke:

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Salad Fingers

Ask her where the Steak pie is from? If its from a good butchers I would go. Then use the Ex excuse after

Home made, with sausages through it. Salivating at the thought of at least one of her pies.

 

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chester copperpot

If salad gives us the site and the lassies name, we could be on to a potential classic here.

 

Go on fella, make it happen.

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