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Love this thread....except the San Diego chat.

 

Brick its the paella bird if you want it to last or the fajita bird if you're in it for the deviancy.....or Morgans misses by the sounds of it :-)

Edited by Jamboelite
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Why did I Google it then press on the images part.

Arsehole!

You did it because you knew the pictures would be minging.

 

So did I :whistling:

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chester copperpot

You did it because you knew the pictures would be minging.

 

So did I :whistling:

 

Reminds me of the film harold and kumar when the guys talks about a blumpkin!

Edited by chester copperpot
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Reminds me of the film harold and kumar when the guys talks about a blumpkin!

 

Was just about to say if he plays his cards right Brick might get a blumpie.

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:lol:

 

Deviant

 

:lol:

 

Hey, it's not me or my missus dishing out San Diego goodbyes.

 

I think there is more to that story that needs to be told Morgan!

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chester copperpot

:lol:

 

Hey, it's not me or my missus dishing out San Diego goodbyes.

 

I think there is more to that story that needs to be told Morgan!

 

The deviant comment was aimed at Morgan mate :)

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Excellent work my man.

My advice would be to go back once to each and see how seconds are. Only way to get a true idea of which is the regular FB

All this without the smurf pills?! I salute you.

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Jambo dans les Pyrenees

Well, we must all congratulate the Brick on getting to an advanced stage not often seen in the history of this thread.

 

But dangers lie ahead, young Brick.

 

- Look after little Brick.  Like a puppy let out for a run after a long time at home by himself, he will eventually - and possibly suddenly - tire.

- Don't get run over.  A friend of mine when in our 20's enjoyed his frankly surprising status as a top shagger (he wasn't complaining Arsene Wenger style about having to play 3 games in 6 days).  So ****** a hoop (pun intended) was he with himself, that he walked out grinning inanely into the path of an oncoming taxi the following day, resulting in 2 broken ribs and a fractured tibea.  He still gets annoyed by how many of us still pish ourselves laughing when recall that.

- Another indecisive friend once had 3 on the go - 1 in London, 2 in Edinburgh.  At the peak of his climax one evening he called out his fair ladies name, but unfortunately not the one he was currently coupled with.  Thinking quickly and for a split second, he thought brilliantly - he claimed "Catherine" was his mothers name.  3 became 2 very quickly after that.  Amazing what happens when the main brain is deprived of blood.

 

 

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Brick Tamland

Got there in time.

Place was in darkness, had a look in a couple of rooms but nope. Got an eerie feeling that all the lights were going to go on and and the jkb posse were all going to jump out and say surprise. Soldiered on. Saw a flicker of light and wandered into the bathroom and there she was in a big old rolltop bath with a few candles burning.

Seconds later I was in.

Naughty naughty lady.

The bath rim wasn't the only one cleaned.

I'm absolutely knackered and whilst I'm always pleased to have my kids at the weekend I'm really grateful to have them this weekend as I need the rest.

No doubt more updates to follow, I'll keep you posted.

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Brick Tamland

Wouldn't let me edit post, I was going to add she reminds me of Suzy Dent but her hair is darker and longer, I'm not going to post a pic of my wee fella or arse to complete the picture for you.

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chester copperpot

Great thread but I'm reading this, seething that I'm in a relationship, with kids.

 

:seething:

 

:lol:

 

Haha.

 

The problems dealing with birds is that if she licks yer rim then by all accounts shes not going to be a keeper.

 

You need to sacrifice a bit excitement for a bit of security.

 

My bird is boring as **** tho :(

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:lol:

 

Hey, it's not me or my missus dishing out San Diego goodbyes.

 

I think there is more to that story that needs to be told Morgan!

There is but I won't be :lol:

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Haha.

The problems dealing with birds is that if she licks yer rim then by all accounts shes not going to be a keeper.

You need to sacrifice a bit excitement for a bit of security.

My bird is boring as **** tho :(

She wisnae that bad. :whistling:

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Brick Tamland

Just had a read through the posts that appeared during my little sojourn and was proper laughing out loud, 100% would never have entered the bathroom if I'd read them first though. WTF is wrong with some people, that they think that kind of thing is acceptable and in what way is that a turn on, manky, manky manks, apart from having a go in the back door obviously. :look::ruiner:  

 

 

 

 

 

And Morgan I feel your pain.

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Just had a read through the posts that appeared during my little sojourn and was proper laughing out loud, 100% would never have entered the bathroom if I'd read them first though. WTF is wrong with some people, that they think that kind of thing is acceptable and in what way is that a turn on, manky, manky manks, apart from having a go in the back door obviously. :look::ruiner:  

 

 

 

 

 

And Morgan I feel your pain.

Thanks.

 

It's been hard to deal with but y'know? life goes on.

 

Terribly heartbreaking though.

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Got there in time.

Place was in darkness, had a look in a couple of rooms but nope. Got an eerie feeling that all the lights were going to go on and and the jkb posse were all going to jump out and say surprise. Soldiered on. Saw a flicker of light and wandered into the bathroom and there she was in a big old rolltop bath with a few candles burning.

Seconds later I was in.

Naughty naughty lady.

The bath rim wasn't the only one cleaned.

I'm absolutely knackered and whilst I'm always pleased to have my kids at the weekend I'm really grateful to have them this weekend as I need the rest.

No doubt more updates to follow, I'll keep you posted.

 

 

Great thread this, only been reading the last week or so :lol:

 

Anyway after seeing the Gizoogle thread, i thought I would translate our JBK lothario's post

 

No thangs up in dis biatch found fo' Got there up in time. Place was up in darkness, had a look up in a cold-ass lil couple rooms but nope. Got a eerie feelin dat all tha lights was goin ta go on n' and tha jkb posse was all goin ta jump up n' say surprise. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. Soldiered on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. Saw a gangbangin' flicker of light n' wandered tha **** into tha bathroom n' there dat biiiiatch was up in a funky-ass big-ass oldschool rolltop bath wit all dem candlez burning. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. Secondz lata I was in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Naughty naughty lady. Da bath rim wasn't tha only one cleaned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, mutha****a! I be straight-up knackered n' whilst I be always pleased ta have mah lil playas all up in tha weekend I be straight-up grateful ta have dem dis weekend as I need tha rest. No doubt mo' thugged-out shiznit ta follow, I be bout ta keep you posted..

 

probably have to edit it past the sweary filter :lol:

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chester copperpot

Great thread this, only been reading the last week or so :lol:

 

Anyway after seeing the Gizoogle thread, i thought I would translate our JBK lothario's post

No thangs up in dis biatch found fo' Got there up in time. Place was up in darkness, had a look up in a cold-ass lil couple rooms but nope. Got a eerie feelin dat all tha lights was goin ta go on n' and tha jkb posse was all goin ta jump up n' say surprise. Right back up in yo mutha****** ass. Soldiered on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo mutha****** ass. Saw a gangbangin' flicker of light n' wandered tha **** into tha bathroom n' there dat biiiiatch was up in a funky-ass big-ass oldschool rolltop bath wit all dem candlez burning. Right back up in yo mutha****** ass. Secondz lata I was in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Naughty naughty lady. Da bath rim wasn't tha only one cleaned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, mutha****a! I be straight-up knackered n' whilst I be always pleased ta have mah lil playas all up in tha weekend I be straight-up grateful ta have dem dis weekend as I need tha rest. No doubt mo' thugged-out shiznit ta follow, I be bout ta keep you posted..

 

probably have to edit it past the sweary filter :lol:

 

:rofl:

 

 

 

:yas:

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:rofl:

 

 

 

:yas:

 

Glad you liked that Chester, your becoming my topposter these days. As a tribute, here is your post from Girls a wrong 'un thread ENJOY  :rofl:

 

No thangs up in dis biatch found fo' I remember I kicked it wit a funky-ass bird off POF when I was single n' remember our crazy asses had some phat chat n' I was expectin ta git some sort of action on tha straight-up original gangsta date. Biatch arrived at mah flat n' announced dat dat freaky freaky biatch had front bottom issues, so was a lil' bit pissed tha **** off until her big-ass booty holla'd I could pop back doors fo' a lil' bit fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. So I did, it never went past a second date though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha sizz-auce. Dat hoe definitely a gangbangin' first fo' mah dirty ass. 2 rides n' both as a funky-ass back door burglar son!.
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chester copperpot

 

Glad you liked that Chester, your becoming my topposter these days. As a tribute, here is your post from Girls a wrong 'un thread ENJOY :rofl:

No thangs up in dis biatch found fo' I remember I kicked it wit a funky-ass bird off POF when I was single n' remember our crazy asses had some phat chat n' I was expectin ta git some sort of action on tha straight-up original gangsta date. Biatch arrived at mah flat n' announced dat dat freaky freaky biatch had front bottom issues, so was a lil' bit pissed tha **** off until her big-ass booty holla'd I could pop back doors fo' a lil' bit fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. So I did, it never went past a second date though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha sizz-auce. Dat hoe definitely a gangbangin' first fo' mah dirty ass. 2 rides n' both as a funky-ass back door burglar son!.

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

That was a genuine lol moment there. I daren't show the bird as she doesn't know I was a bit of a deviant before I met her however she keeps asking to see what I am laughing like a big kid about.

 

I genuinely am an immature ******* the older I get.

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Great thread this, only been reading the last week or so :lol:

 

Anyway after seeing the Gizoogle thread, i thought I would translate our JBK lothario's post

 

 

No thangs up in dis biatch found fo' Got there up in time. Place was up in darkness, had a look up in a cold-ass lil couple rooms but nope.

 

Got a eerie feelin dat all tha lights was goin ta go on n' and tha jkb posse was all goin ta jump up n' say surprise.

 

Right back up in yo mutha****** ass. Soldiered on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo mutha****** ass.

 

Saw a gangbangin' flicker of light n' wandered tha **** into tha bathroom n' there dat biiiiatch was up in a funky-ass big-ass oldschool rolltop bath wit all dem candlez burning.

 

Right back up in yo mutha****** ass. Secondz lata I was in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Naughty naughty lady. Da bath rim wasn't tha only one cleaned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, mutha****a! I be straight-up knackered n' whilst I be always pleased ta have mah lil playas all up in tha weekend I be straight-up grateful ta have dem dis weekend as I need tha rest. No doubt mo' thugged-out shiznit ta follow, I be bout ta keep you posted..

 

probably have to edit it past the sweary filter :lol:

:yas:

 

Brilliant!

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

That was a genuine lol moment there. I daren't show the bird as she doesn't know I was a bit of a deviant before I met her however she keeps asking to see what I am laughing like a big kid about.

 

I genuinely am an immature ******* the older I get.

To be honest being mature is so boring at times haha

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chester copperpot

Aren't you a charmer :lol:

 

Sorry dude.

 

Mods, please don't move this to the classics thread. There's miles and years of this still to unravel.

 

All the great threads have been lost to the classics, please notify this one

 

That kids you please.

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Sorry dude.

 

Mods, please don't move this to the classics thread. There's miles and years of this still to unravel.

 

All the great threads have been lost to the classics, please notify this one

 

That kids you please.

Haha no worries man. I was in the pub with the misses and laughed out loud only for her to wonder what on earth was so funny

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chester copperpot

Haha no worries man. I was in the pub with the misses and laughed out loud only for her to wonder what on earth was so funny

@@@@@ that's an oldie

Edited by chester copperpot
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Brick Tamland

My text to Fajitas at midday today "Door will be open 13:00 - 13:05 x"

Reply "I thought you had your kids?x"

Me "I do I was just teasing x"

Just had snapchat reply of her enjoying some special time with her rabbit and a "no, that's teasing x"

 

That's taught me a lesson in teasing.

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You sure have a vivid imagination, that's all I'll say on the matter.

Before the internet, we had scuddy books in our teens.

The readers stories were great because the were totally true :lol:

 

I'm re-living my youth here reading Brick's posts.

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That's taught me a lesson in teasing.

To really "tease" my Mrs I tell her if she's rude I'll load the dish washer.

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Arnold Rothstein

You sure have a vivid imagination, that's all I'll say on the matter.

 

Ha, exactly. A thread full of guys getting none.

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Brick Tamland

You sure have a vivid imagination, that's all I'll say on the matter.

Haha

Trust me I don't.

The twists and turns my life has taken over the last few years I could never have imagined and this just seems to be another interesting chapter or two.

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Maiden Gorgie

You know, after a pish weekend (apart from the Hearts & Scotland scores) and an even pisher day at work today, i feel blessed this thread exists. 

 

 Cheers you up no end! :lol:

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What a glorious pumping off those shiteholes last night and sorry for that interrupting my updates.

 

Fajitas bursd

Chat was good, very quick witted some very risque banter, was expecting some special fun time and well you can decide. Lovely house at the Grange and she told me to call her when I was on my way ? I?m only 5 minutes from where she is so messaged her to say I?m leaving in 5 so see you in 10. Messaged back to say door will be open so no need to ring bell. Wandered in with a lovely bottle of McLaren Vale Sexy Beast Cabernet Sauvignon (if there is any afficionados reading this give it a go it?s lovely, almost port like) and as I shut the door immediately received a text ?upstairs second door?, naively tottered up the stairs thinking kitchen/dining room was there but nope I was wrong. She was sitting at edge of bed with legs crossed and not a stitch on, it would be fair to say that she is photogenic as the real life close up wasn?t so great, no minger by any stretch of the imagination just not as good as her pics but her body more than made up for it. She gave it all the ?I?ve never done this sort of thing before? which I think was a lie as some of those things for a first timer were glorious. Didn?t get out the room until 6:30 Friday morning as she had to be up for work - works in legal hence the size of the hoose! Why she is on PoF is a mystery to me unless she just likes saying ?I haven?t done this before?. Was mildly raging that I didn?t get Fajitas or anything proper to eat :kirk:

 

 

 

Paella & Tapas bursd

After a tiring Thursday I was thinking about cancelling the Friday as I was proper knackered but managed a wee couple of hours kip in the late afternoon, which perked me up. Did the google map search thing as she lived in Dalgety Bay, apartment block looked decent so didn?t fear for any body parts or of joining Archie in some remote cellar. Wasn?t expecting much other than a decent meal as her banter was fairly tame, and she came across as a bit of an alternative boheme lefty type. Rang the bell was secretly praying that she would answer it and that there would be a nice smell coming from the kitchen, and she didn?t disappoint. The smell of the paella was lovely. Bottle of Chablis was handed over which was where the first surprise came, proper mouth to mouth action kiss, no gentle peck on the cheek just straight in there, the teenager in me almost started going for the tit but I refrained. Food was lovely, her uncle married a Spanish bursd and she picked up all the cooking tips. The chat was as I expected, all a bit lefty and boheme/hippy shite and she was on the wimmin against Trump march and what did I think, I gave her my opinion which was he has only said some derogatory things and has some allegations hasn?t actually done anything yet and perhaps a march and demonstration outside the Arab/Middle East/Indian consulates where the treatment of females is horrific might have been a better utilisation of time or even going outside the consulates of those African countries who think female genital mutilation is OK would have shown a bit more solidarity with her sisters but if he did start treating females like any of those countries than I would join the marches myself. This seemed to annoy/irritate her which I was fine about as I?d had a lovely meal, a half glass of wine so I could drive back and her chat wasn?t too great so if I was going to get asked to leave I would have been OK about it. I completely misread annoy/irritate as it became apparent that it had aroused her, that or the ? bottle of chablis she had necked I wasn?t 100% sure. Decided to show me her tattoos at the dinner table and was I a fan of this ? her retro 70?s bush. I?m not a fan at all as I prefer smoother than smooth. My Trump stuff and the fact I didn?t like her bush and also that she had read it in cosmo or some other magazine that it is making a comeback which I followed up with ?not on my face?, got her intensely irritated/annoyed and then she went a bit Daryl Hannah in Splash on me. Possibly resulting in one of the most bizarres sexual encounters I?ve had. She was putting everything into it whilst I just laid back and watched the performance. She ended up with a beautifully crafted pearl necklace which was my parting gift. I didn?t stay the night as I thought it best not to as I value the relationship i have with my testicles.

 

The venison bursd

Was going to cancel this given the nature of the two previous encounters but thought I was in my own home, doing my own cooking, could have a beer and had the whole day to relax and chill before the evening and I was extremely glad that I did.

She appeared on time at my door, bottle of 2011 Vina Alarde Rioja Reserva in hand, peck on cheek and was looking better than her pics, younger than her pics and her body and dress sense were spot on. Great chat, relaxed, thought the food was great, snuggled up on the couch listening to music which we shared pretty much the same taste and she introduced me to some good stuff I hadn?t heard, so a romantic type evening, said she would spend the night but nothing would happen? to which I obviously agreed and nothing did happen.

Well not until the morning and all her choice, think the fact that I was fecked and didn?t do anything during the night worked for her and my reward was some morning glory followed by some early afternoon delight.

 

 

The Sunday coffee bursd

I?m not getting any younger and the week was beginning to take it?s toll, but went for the coffee date anyway, nice neutral venue Brew Lab in College Street, a relaxing coffee and no commitment. This bursd looked lovely on her profile, full length shots as well so my optimism was high although venison bursd was preying on my conscience. There was some very nice Mantovani in Brew Lab so was hoping that when coffee bursd came in I?d fit in. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Coffee bursd was a shambles, her photos were clearly taken a good few stones ago and she had the dress sense of a bag lady. My heart sank but she was delighted to be there. She controlled the whole conversation and it was all about the dates she had been on and how weird the guys are and they they always lie about their height?I?m thinking how can you lie about your height? And the irony of her saying lying is rife whilst she was lying with pretty much all of her pics. I?m sitting there thinking I?ve made a big mistake and just want to go home, but her stories kept on coming and they were all variations on the same theme I asked about how recent her pics were and she said that didn?t matter as she was still the same I couldn?t be arsed arguing the point which I normally would have but was scared it turned into another paella bursd scenario where my well reasoned argument flicks some horny switch on.

 

Cheeky wee lunch bursd

Nothing to report on this other than it was a cheeky wee sandwich with a very plain bursd, a vanilla date if ever there was one.

 

So to the JKB Dr Ruth?s and Claire Rayners amongst us what should I do?

 

I have another 4/5 potential dates with bursds from the sites whose numbers I got before I came off the sites, but I?ve got kids this weekend and working away for most of next week.

I look forward to the abuse, the neutral advice, the predators advice, the nice guys advice, the arseholes advice and any lingering bursds advice.

 

#loudnoises

#helpBrickdecide

just been through every pof in Edinburgh and there's none like suzi dent. btw she's 50yo!!!

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You know, after a pish weekend (apart from the Hearts & Scotland scores) and an even pisher day at work today, i feel blessed this thread exists. 

 

 Cheers you up no end! :lol:

But, is Brick being up front?

 

Sounds too good to be true.

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Brick Tamland

But, is Brick being up front?

 

Sounds too good to be true.

Oh I am completely up front, no reason not to be. As I've said earlier, my life has taken some twists and turns over the last few years and some of those chapters are unbelievable.

For the believers I'll update after the weekend...

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Oh I am completely up front, no reason not to be. As I've said earlier, my life has taken some twists and turns over the last few years and some of those chapters are unbelievable.

For the believers I'll update after the weekend...

:yas:

 

BELIEVE

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