I P Knightley Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 47 minutes ago, Watt-Zeefuik said: "Yes, Mr Bond, my agents will kill you with their ninja throwing weapons. You’ll be starred to death." "Shurikanned, not starred." So painful, it's brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 2 hours ago, I P Knightley said: So painful, it's brilliant! Yup. I read it, winced, and then a few moments later I thought, "that's gotta go on JKB..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buster HMFC Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 On 14/02/2024 at 20:09, superjack said: Can someone help me please? There's this poster on here called buster, who I don't even know. He keeps sending me random YouTube clips of 70s band the sweet. Does anyone know the way, there's got to be a way, to block buster! I see Morgan didn't get the joke. Good one btw mate 👍 👌 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 35 minutes ago, Buster HMFC said: I see Morgan didn't get the joke. Good one btw mate 👍 👌 Didn’t get the joke? C’mon Buster, we’re not all as thick as you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buster HMFC Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 1 hour ago, Morgan said: Didn’t get the joke? C’mon Buster, we’re not all as thick as you. That's a shit comeback from someone who supposedly blocked me. Am I in your heed wee man?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 1 hour ago, Buster HMFC said: That's a shit comeback from someone who supposedly blocked me. Am I in your heed wee man?? What’s a ‘heed’ ? Are you illiterate? Why do you call other people ‘wee man’? I think you are thick and illiterate. ps. I hope you realise that, whenever someone answers you on here, you mostly respond with ‘that’s a shit comeback’. Come on, Brains, show yourself some respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kila Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 5 hours ago, Dawnrazor said: Permanent ban from the meme thread? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Just now, kila said: Permanent ban from the meme thread? 😂 How did you guess?!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 I was sat next to a farmer on a bus in Germany the other day. We got to talking, about sport, work and families. As you do, we showed each other pictures of our families. In one photo on his phone, there was him, his lovely Frau, his zwei kinder, and, curiously, a pig with a wooden leg. I asked him how the pig got the peg leg. “Well,” he said, “you have to understand how much that little pig has done for me, first.” We had a long way to ride on the bus, so I sat back and listened. “Three years ago,” he said, “My wife and I were out in the fields, preparing the ground. Our son was young, but we thought he would be okay. Anyway, while my wife and I were ploughing, our son managed to fall himself down the well.” A tear came to the farmer’s eye as he recalled the trauma. “That little pig crossed 2km of fields to oink at us. He wouldn’t stop until we followed him to the well, where we found little Hans and winched him up. Without that pig, my firstborn son would have died.” I told him I was very impressed, but he seemed keen to continue his story. “Anyway, last year, we had gone into town to buy some kebabs. It was a Friday night and I wanted to treat the family. Unbeknownst to us, a spark from an overheard pylon must have fallen onto our hay barn. Now, you have to remember our nearest neighbours are ten kilometres away. By the time they would see anything, the barn would have been destroyed. Incredibly, that little peg leg pig dragged the hose from our kitchen garden, turned it on at the tap and drenched the barn, saving the building and possible the entire estate.” “Wow!” I said. “That’s incredible. He’s a sure fire little hero. But, pardon me, none of that how did he come to get a wooden leg?” “Well,” he replied, “you simply don’t eat a heroic pig like that all in one go.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 I'm sending all my jokes by telepathy today. If you think of something funny, that was me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 Little known fact: before Oppenheimer started working on atomic detonations, he was working on taking the bitter part of tea and using it to create large explosions. It worked it just wasn't as destructive as the A-bomb. To honor him, the initial of his last name was assigned to it. The O Tannin Bomb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 45 minutes ago, Watt-Zeefuik said: Little known fact: before Oppenheimer started working on atomic detonations, he was working on taking the bitter part of tea and using it to create large explosions. It worked it just wasn't as destructive as the A-bomb. To honor him, the initial of his last name was assigned to it. The O Tannin Bomb. FFS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 A Trump supporter was seated next to an older woman on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The old woman, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger: “What would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the man. “How about how they stole the election in 2020 and Donald Trump should be president.” “Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The man, visibly surprised by the old woman’s, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the old woman replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss politics, when you don’t know shit?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 A young woman joins an order of nuns who take a vow of silence. On her first day at the convent she meets the Mother Superior. "The only time you're allowed to speak," the novice is told, "is every ten years you're allowed to speak two words to me." The novice nods her agreement and leaves to go about her work. Ten years later she is brought before the Mother Superior. "What two words do you want to say?" she's asked. The nun says, "Lousy food" and leaves the room. A further ten years go by and on her 20th anniversary she is once again brought before the Mother Superior. Again she is asked, "What two words do you want to say?" The nun replies, "Lumpy mattress" and leaves the room. Another 10 years go by, it's now 30 years since she joined the order, and yet again the nun stands before the Mother Superior and is asked what two words she wants to say. The nun replies, "I quit." "Good riddance." says the Mother Superior, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted March 6 Share Posted March 6 A drunk bloke walks past a man repairing a car. "What's up?" says the drunk. "Piston broke", says the mechanic. "Ha ha" answers the drunk, "Me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 11 minutes ago, Carl Fredrickson said: lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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