Jump to content

Unashamedly crap jokes (some are pure gold!)


Unknown user

Recommended Posts

Buster HMFC
On 14/02/2024 at 20:09, superjack said:

Can someone help me please? There's this poster on here called buster, who I don't even know. He keeps sending me random YouTube clips of 70s band the sweet.

Does anyone know the way, there's got to be a way, to block buster!

I see Morgan didn't get the joke. Good one btw mate 👍 👌 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 5.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • superjack

    643

  • narre

    629

  • Carl Fredrickson

    357

  • Morgan

    284

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

35 minutes ago, Buster HMFC said:

I see Morgan didn't get the joke. Good one btw mate 👍 👌 

Didn’t get the joke?  :rofl:

 

C’mon Buster, we’re not all as thick as you.  :lol: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Buster HMFC
1 hour ago, Morgan said:

Didn’t get the joke?  :rofl:

 

C’mon Buster, we’re not all as thick as you.  :lol: 

That's a shit comeback from someone who supposedly blocked me. Am I in your heed wee man??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Buster HMFC said:

That's a shit comeback from someone who supposedly blocked me. Am I in your heed wee man??

What’s a ‘heed’ ?

 

Are you illiterate?

 

Why do you call other people ‘wee man’?

 

I think you are thick and illiterate.

 

ps. I hope you realise that, whenever someone answers you on here, you mostly respond with ‘that’s a shit comeback’.

 

Come on, Brains, show yourself some respect.  :thumbsup: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dawnrazor
Just now, kila said:


Permanent ban from the meme thread?

😂 How did you guess?!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maple Leaf

I'm sending all my jokes by telepathy today.

 

If you think of something funny, that was me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Watt-Zeefuik

Little known fact: before Oppenheimer started working on atomic detonations, he was working on taking the bitter part of tea and using it to create large explosions. It worked it just wasn't as destructive as the A-bomb. To honor him, the initial of his last name was assigned to it.

 

The O Tannin Bomb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A Trump supporter was seated next to an older woman on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The old woman, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger:

“What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh,  I don’t know,” said the man. “How about how they stole the election in 2020 and Donald Trump should be president.” 

“Okay,”  she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a  question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff –  grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat  patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The man, visibly surprised by the old woman’s, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To  which the old woman replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss politics, when you don’t know shit?”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maple Leaf

A young woman joins an order of nuns who take a vow of silence.  On her first day at the convent she meets the Mother Superior.

 

"The only time you're allowed to speak," the novice is told, "is every ten years you're allowed to speak two words to me."  The novice nods her agreement and leaves to go about her work. 

 

Ten years later she is brought before the Mother Superior.  "What two words do you want to say?" she's asked.  

 

The nun says, "Lousy food" and leaves the room.

 

A further ten years go by and on her 20th anniversary she is once again brought before the Mother Superior.  Again she is asked, "What two words do you want to say?"

 

The nun replies, "Lumpy mattress" and leaves the room.

 

Another 10 years go by, it's now 30 years since she joined the order, and yet again the nun stands before the Mother Superior and is asked what two words she wants to say.

 

The nun replies, "I quit."

 

"Good riddance." says the Mother Superior, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy

A drunk bloke walks past a man
repairing a car.
"What's up?" says the drunk.
"Piston broke", says the mechanic.
"Ha ha" answers the drunk, "Me too

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
11 minutes ago, Carl Fredrickson said:

image.png.4eefd0e925c8080b762c42b8fa4b5d32.png

lol 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

CostaJambo

I made up a joke today so probably no better place for it than a crap jokes internet thread.....

 

It's a good job Walt Disney wasn't Scottish otherwise when he died they would've had to change his name to Walt Didney.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maple Leaf
14 hours ago, CostaJambo said:

I made up a joke today so probably no better place for it than a crap jokes internet thread.....

 

It's a good job Walt Disney wasn't Scottish otherwise when he died they would've had to change his name to Walt Didney.

I remember hearing a "joke" many, many years which went along the lines of ...

 

Mickey Mouse loves Minnie Mouse, but Walt Disney.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Watt-Zeefuik
13 hours ago, Maple Leaf said:

I remember hearing a "joke" many, many years which went along the lines of ...

 

Mickey Mouse loves Minnie Mouse, but Walt Disney.

 

Think I've done this one here before but it's an old favorite.

 

Minnie and Mickey are meeting with their marriage counselor. He says, "I'm sorry Mr. Mouse, but your wife has had a psychological evaluation, and there's no evidence that she's crazy."

 

Angrily Mickey says, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was ****ing Goofy!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Horatio Caine
19 hours ago, Maple Leaf said:

I remember hearing a "joke" many, many years which went along the lines of ...

 

Mickey Mouse loves Minnie Mouse, but Walt Disney.

The other oldie was, "What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?  Bing sings but Walt Disney".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...