Samuel Camazzola Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 5 hours ago, Justin Z said: Knobs who get bus tickets on the Lothian app then spend the better part of a minute fiddling around with their phones to show the driver instead of just having it ****ing ready. Thanks for wasting the combined times of everyone on this route, you ^^^^. Most likely to be tourists/students from the States. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 6 hours ago, Justin Z said: Knobs who get bus tickets on the Lothian app then spend the better part of a minute fiddling around with their phones to show the driver instead of just having it ****ing ready. Thanks for wasting the combined times of everyone on this route, you ^^^^. Got a mate that was seething as he activated his ticket in the queue whilst boarding the bus and he didn't get on due to it being too full. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 28 minutes ago, IronJambo said: Got a mate that was seething as he activated his ticket in the queue whilst boarding the bus and he didn't get on due to it being too full. Similarly, I've seen people push in at the front of the queue and people, who queued longer, not get on as the bus is full. Wankers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Under my rule....every bus stop would be monitored by armed and heavy handed ex Spetsnaz soldiers to avoid queue jumpers. Dispensing rough justice at the mere hint of breaking rules. No got your change ready?.....expect a broken arm and waiting on the next bus. They would also be deployed at pedestrian crossings with lawyers. If you press that button you immediately enter into a contract to wait for the green man regardless of any large gaps in traffic. Those disobeying would be shot and fed to zoo animals. Beginning to cross when the green man is flashing and you'd be tasered.....and fed to zoo animals alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said: Under my rule....every bus stop would be monitored by armed and heavy handed ex Spetsnaz soldiers to avoid queue jumpers. Dispensing rough justice at the mere hint of breaking rules. No got your change ready?.....expect a broken arm and waiting on the next bus. They would also be deployed at pedestrian crossings with lawyers. If you press that button you immediately enter into a contract to wait for the green man regardless of any large gaps in traffic. Those disobeying would be shot and fed to zoo animals. Beginning to cross when the green man is flashing and you'd be tasered.....and fed to zoo animals alive. People who get annoyed at folk who take a gap at a green man instead of waiting are just a bit silly. The drivers are going to have to wait regardless. Why do you need so much that someone else also has their time taken up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Z Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Samuel Camazzola said: Most likely to be tourists/students from the States. ? Every single time in my experience it's someone local! 3 hours ago, IronJambo said: Got a mate that was seething as he activated his ticket in the queue whilst boarding the bus and he didn't get on due to it being too full. To be fair, the entire Lothian phone ticket system is stupidly designed, and should be burned with fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Z Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Sooperstar said: People who get annoyed at folk who take a gap at a green man instead of waiting are just a bit silly. The drivers are going to have to wait regardless. Why do you need so much that someone else also has their time taken up? I get @Der Kaiser's point though. There's a crossing right at my bus stop to get to my house, and if there are gaps in the traffic, I just cross the damn street. I don't press the button first, then cross in the gap, so that cars that come later might get slowed down. I always try to be courteous in this way but often some oblivious dick has also gone and pressed the button and waited for it to change and by the time it has 10-15 seconds later, traffic has appeared which now has to needlessly wait. On a side note, these newer crossings don't seem to have the flashing green man with the flashing amber traffic signals anymore. They just do a normal brief amber followed by green for the cars, like at intersections--and for the pedestrians, the green man disappears before the red man appears a few seconds later, followed by amber/green for traffic. Edited October 9, 2018 by Justin Z Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 58 minutes ago, Sooperstar said: People who get annoyed at folk who take a gap at a green man instead of waiting are just a bit silly. The drivers are going to have to wait regardless. Why do you need so much that someone else also has their time taken up? I'll continue to follow them home and butcher them till I get caught.....6 years and counting! I do spend ALOT on bleach though...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 11 hours ago, Justin Z said: I get @Der Kaiser's point though. There's a crossing right at my bus stop to get to my house, and if there are gaps in the traffic, I just cross the damn street. I don't press the button first, then cross in the gap, so that cars that come later might get slowed down. I always try to be courteous in this way but often some oblivious dick has also gone and pressed the button and waited for it to change and by the time it has 10-15 seconds later, traffic has appeared which now has to needlessly wait. On a side note, these newer crossings don't seem to have the flashing green man with the flashing amber traffic signals anymore. They just do a normal brief amber followed by green for the cars, like at intersections--and for the pedestrians, the green man disappears before the red man appears a few seconds later, followed by amber/green for traffic. But if there isn't a gap that you can see, then you press the button. If a safe gap then appears whilst I'm still waiting for the green man then I'm taking it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nookie Bear Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 13 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: Under my rule....every bus stop would be monitored by armed and heavy handed ex Spetsnaz soldiers to avoid queue jumpers. Dispensing rough justice at the mere hint of breaking rules. No got your change ready?.....expect a broken arm and waiting on the next bus. They would also be deployed at pedestrian crossings with lawyers. If you press that button you immediately enter into a contract to wait for the green man regardless of any large gaps in traffic. Those disobeying would be shot and fed to zoo animals. Beginning to cross when the green man is flashing and you'd be tasered.....and fed to zoo animals alive. That’s the kind of woolly, wishy-washy, liberal idea we’ve come to expect from the snowflake generation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tokyowalnut Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 16 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: Under my rule....every bus stop would be monitored by armed and heavy handed ex Spetsnaz soldiers to avoid queue jumpers. Dispensing rough justice at the mere hint of breaking rules. No got your change ready?.....expect a broken arm and waiting on the next bus. They would also be deployed at pedestrian crossings with lawyers. If you press that button you immediately enter into a contract to wait for the green man regardless of any large gaps in traffic. Those disobeying would be shot and fed to zoo animals. Beginning to cross when the green man is flashing and you'd be tasered.....and fed to zoo animals alive. Der Kaiser for PM. I've been using buses consistently for 3 weeks now and it's aged me a year already. I work at Oriam a couple of days a week and having to use buses with fresh faced students is seeth inducing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 16 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: Under my rule....every bus stop would be monitored by armed and heavy handed ex Spetsnaz soldiers to avoid queue jumpers. Dispensing rough justice at the mere hint of breaking rules. No got your change ready?.....expect a broken arm and waiting on the next bus. They would also be deployed at pedestrian crossings with lawyers. If you press that button you immediately enter into a contract to wait for the green man regardless of any large gaps in traffic. Those disobeying would be shot and fed to zoo animals. Beginning to cross when the green man is flashing and you'd be tasered.....and fed to zoo animals alive. When the button's been pressed, and there's no one there to cross, at lest you can drive on as soon as a flashing amber appears. If someone was slow to cross you might have to wait for ages. Don't seethe, count your blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 20 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: When the button's been pressed, and there's no one there to cross, at lest you can drive on as soon as a flashing amber appears. If someone was slow to cross you might have to wait for ages. Don't seethe, count your blessings. If I could weld....there would be a cow catcher installed on the front of my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 I'm going to start pushing pedestrian crossing buttons as I pass them from now on, regardless of whether or not I intend to cross the road, and every time I do it I will think of Der Kaiser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 On the subject of pedestrian crossings, I have seen parents allow their kids to press the button as they walk passed with no intention of crossing the road. That is bad parenting and annoying for drivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 1 hour ago, Sooperstar said: I'm going to start pushing pedestrian crossing buttons as I pass them from now on, regardless of whether or not I intend to cross the road, and every time I do it I will think of Der Kaiser. I'll pretend not to know first aid after I've mounted the kerb and run you down. ....then steal your phone and post on JKB on your behalf. Oh the threads you'll start....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 5 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said: I'll pretend not to know first aid after I've mounted the kerb and run you down. ....then steal your phone and post on JKB on your behalf. Oh the threads you'll start....... You’ve got a very vicious streak. Much prefer when your posts involve masturbation and work colleagues tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Internet Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Lost count of the amount of cars that have failed to stop at zebra crossings while I'm waiting. Drivers can gtf and I will continue to press the button and cross at the first sign of a gap whether the green man is there or no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 On the bus home, last week. Across from the Scottish widows a cyclist pulled up at a red light, and was in the cyclist box. Woman in Chelsea tractor, rolls down window and starts shouting abuse at him. Think he told the ignorant cow where to go and what she could do when she got there. Lights changed, she's up the cyclist's arse, texting while driving. I was too late getting the evidence to send to the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 43 minutes ago, Morgan said: You’ve got a very vicious streak. Much prefer when your posts involve masturbation and work colleagues tbh. I also have a vicious stroke...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 (edited) 43 minutes ago, Mauricio Pinilla said: Lost count of the amount of cars that have failed to stop at zebra crossings while I'm waiting. Drivers can gtf and I will continue to press the button and cross at the first sign of a gap whether the green man is there or no. Wait until traffic has stopped from both directions or the road is clear before crossing. Remember that traffic doesnot have to stop until someone hasmoved onto the crossing. ... If no pedestrian signals have been provided, watch carefully and do not cross until the traffic lights are red and the traffic has stopped. Rules for pedestrians - Crossings (18 to 30) - The Highway Code Probably the most dangerous type of crossing thought up Edited October 10, 2018 by 3fingersreid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 1 minute ago, Der Kaiser said: I also have a vicious stroke...... Clever. Combining the two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Levi's seem to have fudded about with the sizing on their jeans. I always buy 511's. I have a black pair, a navy pair and a lighter navy pair. Now the navy pair and black pair fitted perfectly, slim and just to the top of my shoes. Just how I like it, not all bunched up at the bottom like an elephants foreskin. The lighter navy pair were the exact same size and style but bunched up at the bottom. I didn't complain to much since the bursd bought me them but needed a new dark navy pair as the other ones are wearing away in places. Ordered some and they came and they are too ****ing long again. I now need to take them to get them altered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thommo414 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 23 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: I also have a vicious stroke...... Not at work I hope... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 4 hours ago, Thommo414 said: Not at work I hope... Chance would be a fine thing.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debut 4 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 What is it with the roads in the morning? Absolute arseholes in abundance. And that's only going from Corstorphine to Heriot Watt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Office lingo, or bullshite, again. My boss can to see my colleague and myself. He wanted to arrange a meeting with us as he needed our input into looking at salami slicing our processes. Took me a bit to work out what he was actually on about, well I think I know what he meant, tit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 7 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: Levi's seem to have fudded about with the sizing on their jeans. I always buy 511's. I have a black pair, a navy pair and a lighter navy pair. Now the navy pair and black pair fitted perfectly, slim and just to the top of my shoes. Just how I like it, not all bunched up at the bottom like an elephants foreskin. The lighter navy pair were the exact same size and style but bunched up at the bottom. I didn't complain to much since the bursd bought me them but needed a new dark navy pair as the other ones are wearing away in places. Ordered some and they came and they are too ****ing long again. I now need to take them to get them altered. I have 2 pairs of 511's. The black ones I love the fit of. Dark blue denim ones I rarely wear because I don't like the fit of them. Same size too. Very confusing stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Just noticed a wasp nest under the roof. Grrrrr. Hopefully a frost soon and they will die off without me having to go up a ladder at considerable risk to myself or my bank balance if I bring in a pro! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 5 minutes ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said: Just noticed a wasp nest under the roof. Grrrrr. Hopefully a frost soon and they will die off without me having to go up a ladder at considerable risk to myself or my bank balance if I bring in a pro! Since you have the ladder, all you need is a zippo and a can of Lynx Africa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 4 minutes ago, Samuel Camazzola said: Since you have the ladder, all you need is a zippo and a can of Lynx Africa. I was given a Lynx Africa spray for Christmas once and I think I would rather leave the wasps alone than smell that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 2 minutes ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said: I was given a Lynx Africa spray for Christmas once and I think I would rather leave the wasps alone than smell that again. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 28 minutes ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said: Just noticed a wasp nest under the roof. Grrrrr. Hopefully a frost soon and they will die off without me having to go up a ladder at considerable risk to myself or my bank balance if I bring in a pro! No real cost bud, easily and cheaply sorted. I’ve had two nests in my roof in the last few years, killed them off with a few little blasts of Wasp Killer from B&Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Just now, luckyBatistuta said: No real cost bud, easily and cheaply sorted. I’ve had two nests in my roof in the last few years, killed them off with a few little blasts of Wasp Killer from B&Q I did that myself once waiting for it to get nearly dark and then running for my life. This is higher up near the chimney and escape route is fraught with danger. ?They will die out very soon anyway and then I will bravely remove the nest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 41 minutes ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said: I was given a Lynx Africa spray for Christmas once and I think I would rather leave the wasps alone than smell that again. I'm sure they've changed it. I always remember it being horrible, but I smelt it recently and it was alright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nookie Bear Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Most women: “That’s me done my 10000 steps today” Me: ”I don’t give a toss” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 9 minutes ago, Nookie Bear said: Most women: “That’s me done my 10000 steps today” Me: ”I don’t give a toss” 413. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 45 minutes ago, Nookie Bear said: Most women: “That’s me done my 10000 steps today” Me: ”I don’t give a toss” That's my Mrs. She's still frickin fat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Sooperstar said: I'm sure they've changed it. I always remember it being horrible, but I smelt it recently and it was alright. I remember it had a scent like bubble gum. Horrible stuff! Lynx suffered from the ned image but maybe it has tried to shed that now and tone down some of the overpowering scents. I still wouldn't buy it though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 On 05/10/2018 at 20:31, All roads lead to Gorgie said: " You got it wrong Columbo, I'm just a Russian tourist here to see the Castle" Shouldn't it be Colombo now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 9 hours ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said: I remember it had a scent like bubble gum. Horrible stuff! Lynx suffered from the ned image but maybe it has tried to shed that now and tone down some of the overpowering scents. I still wouldn't buy it though! Spray deodorants started irritating my pits so it's been roll ons for me for at least a decade now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 (edited) I've got a cold sore on my top lip, I asked the wife where's the Blisteze, she'd look for it she said, "there you go she said" as she rushed off to get wee Dawnrazor to the school bus, 5 minutes ago I put it on...... 10 seconds later my puss is on fire, apparently Bazuka That Veruca comes in a very similar tube ????? Edited October 12, 2018 by Dawnrazor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Governor Tarkin Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 ***** shaving in the bog at the gym. Rage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cade Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Governor Tarkin said: ***** shaving in the bog at the gym. Rage. Could he not find a sink? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoff the Mince Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 2 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said: ***** shaving in the bog at the gym. Rage. Were you trying to make the wee man look a bit bigger ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 4 hours ago, Dawnrazor said: I've got a cold sore on my top lip, I asked the wife where's the Blisteze, she'd look for it she said, "there you go she said" as she rushed off to get wee Dawnrazor to the school bus, 5 minutes ago I put it on...... 10 seconds later my puss is on fire, apparently Bazuka That Veruca comes in a very similar tube ????? Nasty as it causes the skin to turn white and peel off. Skin grafting can be cheap if you shop around though. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 The terrorist propaganda outlet that is Sky News. Started watching thinking well there's nothing of the sort to talk about or sensationalise today so it'll be fine. No, literally within seconds the full lot, glorifying the killer, naming them, their cause, etc. Sky is generally an absolute shit-show right now. Since Natalie Sawyer left SSN there's just Karl Pilkington left, and his recent show was dire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Geoff the Mince said: Were you trying to make the wee man look a bit bigger ? Governor Largin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Governor Tarkin Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 2 hours ago, Morgan said: Governor Largin. Geoff the Mince has seen junior Tarkin often enough to know you speak the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 6 minutes ago, Governor Tarkin said: Geoff the Mince has seen junior Tarkin often enough to know you speak the truth. For once, I'm lost for words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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