The all new "seethe" thread

[Nookie Bear]

21 hours ago, Thommo414 said:

On that note, vegans (or indeed your run of the mill vegetarian). 

 

"you know there's studies that prove meat is bad for you?" 

"do you know how much pain that animal suffered?" 

 

****. Off. 

 

Guy in my office on being offered something: “No thanks, I’m trying to avoid Nestle products”. 

 

Beardy, electric-bike riding, grows-his-own-carrots, tosspot. 

 

Wait til it starts snowing and he will be begging for a lift in my diesel car. 

[iantjambo]

1 hour ago, Nookie Bear said:

 

Guy in my office on being offered something: “No thanks, I’m trying to avoid Nestle products”. 

 

Beardy, electric-bike riding, grows-his-own-carrots, tosspot. 

 

Wait til it starts snowing and he will be begging for a lift in my diesel car. 

 

Tit!

 

He was probably desperate for you to ask him why, otherwise he would just have said “No thanks”.

I hope you didn’t indulge him.

[Nookie Bear]

Just now, iantjambo said:

 

Tit!

 

He was probably desperate for you to ask him why, otherwise he would just have said “No thanks”.

I hope you didn’t indulge him.

 

No chance! 

 

He was too busy trying to promote a “plastic-free” buffet for some people anyway. 

[iantjambo]

2 minutes ago, Nookie Bear said:

 

No chance! 

 

He was too busy trying to promote a “plastic-free” buffet for some people anyway. 

 

Good stuff ??

 

He sounds a right knob.

[Nookie Bear]

44 minutes ago, iantjambo said:

 

Good stuff ??

 

He sounds a right knob.

 

He's alright, and it is difficult to argue against his principles...but still a knob.

[Morgan]

3 hours ago, Nookie Bear said:

 

Guy in my office on being offered something: “No thanks, I’m trying to avoid Nestle products”. 

 

Beardy, electric-bike riding, grows-his-own-carrots, tosspot. 

 

Wait til it starts snowing and he will be begging for a lift in my diesel car. 

I worked with a guy that did exactly that.

 

Bit of a weirdo - he was about 40 year old, played with train sets, had a ‘special drinks night’ with his girlfriend which involved him drinking a can of cider and her (she looked like the honey monster) having a small bottle of Babycham.

 

He then went upstairs to play with his trains and she did a 1000 piece jigsaw in the lounge.  

 

He thought he looked like Sherpa Tenzing and one night a week he slept in a tent in the garden. His hero was Edmund Hillary.

 

Weirdest part though was, he didn’t like football.

Edited October 15, 2018 by Morgan

[Tazio]

Couriers. 

Was expecting a delivery today and according to the tracking it is still in the depot so probably won't arrive until tomorrow. However I'm on a lunchtime flight tomorrow and won't get back until Friday night. I'm sure people won't be surprised to hear it's Hermes.

[iantjambo]

45 minutes ago, Tazio said:

Couriers. 

Was expecting a delivery today and according to the tracking it is still in the depot so probably won't arrive until tomorrow. However I'm on a lunchtime flight tomorrow and won't get back until Friday night. I'm sure people won't be surprised to hear it's Hermes.

 

Not believing that. Hermes are usually so efficient and error free!

[Der Kaiser]

"They feel a bit tight on the side of my foot Dad"

"Try the 5 and a halfs"

"These are better Dad"

"OK we'll get them"

 

24 hours later

 

"Dad my new trainers feel too big"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 15, 2018 by Der Kaiser

[IronJambo]

1 hour ago, Tazio said:

Couriers. 

Was expecting a delivery today and according to the tracking it is still in the depot so probably won't arrive until tomorrow. However I'm on a lunchtime flight tomorrow and won't get back until Friday night. I'm sure people won't be surprised to hear it's Hermes.

I'll be gobsmacked if it manages to actually leave the depot before getting lost. 

[Tazio]

5 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

I'll be gobsmacked if it manages to actually leave the depot before getting lost. 

 

They've surpassed themselves. It was delivered despite the tracking info still having it in the depot. Sadly it was getting delivered to my work address and arrived half an hour after I'd left.

[milky_26]

25 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said:

"They feel a bit tight on the side of my foot Dad"

"Try the 5 and a halfs"

"These are better Dad"

"OK we'll get them"

 

24 hours later

 

"Dad my new trainers feel too big"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stand on his feet to make them swell. That should sort the problem 

[Morgan]

7 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

Stand on his feet to make them swell. That should sort the problem 

[graygo]

I've got a couple of football related ones that might have been mentioned already.

 

Why do players pull their sock up over their knees, it looks ridiculous. 

 

See this talking to each other while shielding their mouths, that gets on my goat,

[Nookie Bear]

10 hours ago, Morgan said:

I worked with a guy that did exactly that.

 

Bit of a weirdo - he was about 40 year old, played with train sets, had a ‘special drinks night’ with his girlfriend which involved him drinking a can of cider and her (she looked like the honey monster) having a small bottle of Babycham.

 

He then went upstairs to play with his trains and she did a 1000 piece jigsaw in the lounge.  

 

He thought he looked like Sherpa Tenzing and one night a week he slept in a tent in the garden. His hero was Edmund Hillary.

 

Weirdest part though was, he didn’t like football.

 

Words fail me. 

 

This guy is also a “gamer”. I rest my case. 

[Nookie Bear]

At work again:

 

Me: “just popping out to get some lunch”

 

Colleague: “Ooh, if you’re going to <insert name of shop you were not going to> can you pick me up a sandwich. Nothing too fancy. Just ham and cheese. Or tuna. Definitely not coronation chicken. Unless it’s in the meal deal. I’ll give you a kilo of small coins when you get back to cover it.”

[Der Kaiser]

I always ask for potatoes and soap powder.

 

I'm hilarious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[William H. Bonney]

2 hours ago, graygo said:

I've got a couple of football related ones that might have been mentioned already.

 

Why do players pull their sock up over their knees, it looks ridiculous. 

 

See this talking to each other while shielding their mouths, that gets on my goat,

 

Particularly when nobody gives a flying **** what footballers are talking about.

[Nookie Bear]

8 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

I always ask for potatoes and soap powder.

 

I'm hilarious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A real hoot !

[Nookie Bear]

10 hours ago, graygo said:

I've got a couple of football related ones that might have been mentioned already.

 

See this talking to each other while shielding their mouths, that gets on my goat,

 

Think this comes from baseball, where it makes sense not to have your opposition watching (and lip reading) very specific instructions relayed to the pitcher. 

 

The ridiculous thing in football is that he coached talk behind their hands and then send a substitute on...who promptly relays the instructions by shouting to his team mates. 

[Tazio]

****ing Ryanair. The company I’m doing some work for this week in Ireland booked me flights with them. Get to the airport and discover you have no choice but to check in online with them. No bother I said I’ll go and do it now, at which point I’m told that I have one minute to do it as it needs done two hours before departure. Then just to make it even funnier it turns out that as I’ll now have to check in at the airport it will cost me £55. Or in other words more than the cost of the flight by quite a margin. Currently sitting at Edinburgh airport looking for anyone Irish so I can punch them in the face. What a piece of shit airline as if I didn’t know that already. 

[Tazio]

So angry I posted it twice. 

Edited October 16, 2018 by Tazio

[Harry Potter]

11 minutes ago, Tazio said:

****ing Ryanair. The company I’m doing some work for this week in Ireland booked me flights with them. Get to the airport and discover you have no choice but to check in online with them. No bother I said I’ll go and do it now, at which point I’m told that I have one minute to do it as it needs done two hours before departure. Then just to make it even funnier it turns out that as I’ll now have to check in at the airport it will cost me £55. Or in other words more than the cost of the flight by quite a margin. Currently sitting at Edinburgh airport looking for anyone Irish so I can punch them in the face. What a piece of shit airline as if I didn’t know that already. 

Must be a good job mate, tbh ryanair get a bad press.

change flight company.

[graygo]

16 minutes ago, Tazio said:

****ing Ryanair. The company I’m doing some work for this week in Ireland booked me flights with them. Get to the airport and discover you have no choice but to check in online with them. No bother I said I’ll go and do it now, at which point I’m told that I have one minute to do it as it needs done two hours before departure. Then just to make it even funnier it turns out that as I’ll now have to check in at the airport it will cost me £55. Or in other words more than the cost of the flight by quite a margin. Currently sitting at Edinburgh airport looking for anyone Irish so I can punch them in the face. What a piece of shit airline as if I didn’t know that already. 

I've just got off a Ryanair flight to Stansted. Worry free and on time. Luckily I had the good sense to check their terms before flying. 

[graygo]

See these arseholes who queue up an hour before departure and the ones who take their seatbelt off as soon as we touch down. They need shot.

[Tazio]

11 minutes ago, graygo said:

I've just got off a Ryanair flight to Stansted. Worry free and on time. Luckily I had the good sense to check their terms before flying. 

I was daft enough to forget they are a complete joke of an outfit. The Hibs of airlines. 

[Tazio]

1 minute ago, jonnothejambo said:

Can I suggest going for a pint of Guinness ?

That is a few hours away as I need to get to Galway. I’m flying to Dublin though. Great planning. 

[Morgan]

14 hours ago, Nookie Bear said:

 

Words fail me. 

 

This guy is also a “gamer”. I rest my case. 

Starting to think that ‘your guy’ and ‘my guy’ must be related.

 

Does your one wear camouflage jackets and, at the weekend, go for fun times with the Territorial Army?

 

Mine did.

 

He also wore a red baseball cap with ‘Alton Towers’ emblazoned across the front.  Or a yellow ‘Peanuts’ one.

[Morgan]

8 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

Can I suggest going for a pint of Guinness ?

Why would you wish to spoil his day further?

[Morgan]

Just now, jonnothejambo said:

 

I have just had a pint ......

Are you smelling yet?

[Morgan]

Just now, jonnothejambo said:

 

Give it a few hours then I can blame the puppy for stinking the hoose oot. 

 

[IronJambo]

On 15/10/2018 at 14:18, Tazio said:

 

They've surpassed themselves. It was delivered despite the tracking info still having it in the depot. Sadly it was getting delivered to my work address and arrived half an hour after I'd left.

DHL are nailing it just now. Bought a phone from fleabay which was supposedly located in Edinburgh. DHL picked it up in Dubai yesterday and its supposedly out for delivery in Berkshire today. I don't expect delivery until tomorrow but good going all the same. 

 

Edit: it's just been delivered

Edited October 16, 2018 by IronJambo

[3fingersreid]

The amount of jumping about this site does now ??

[Helzibob]

On the train and there’s a female sat beside me (she’s definitely no lady) who hasn’t stop burping the whole journey, it’s giving me the boak. ?

[iantjambo]

29 minutes ago, Helzibob said:

On the train and there’s a female sat beside me (she’s definitely no lady) who hasn’t stop burping the whole journey, it’s giving me the boak. ?

 

It could be worse ? 

[Helzibob]

1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

 

It could be worse ? 

 

That’s very true. ?

[FWJ]

Drivers.

When approaching the underpass at Newbridge you don’t need to slam on the brakes at the speed camera - you’re only doing 40 anyway.....

[Thommo414]

3 hours ago, Helzibob said:

On the train and there’s a female sat beside me (she’s definitely no lady) who hasn’t stop burping the whole journey, it’s giving me the boak. ?

Should've told it to smile. Make your seethe her seethe 

[Der Kaiser]

4 hours ago, Helzibob said:

On the train and there’s a female sat beside me (she’s definitely no lady) who hasn’t stop burping the whole journey, it’s giving me the boak. ?

 

Are you in a window seat?

 

 

[peter_hmfc]

36 minutes ago, Thommo414 said:

Should've told it to smile. Make your seethe her seethe 

 

[Helzibob]

36 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said:

 

Are you in a window seat?

 

 

 

She was in the window. I was on the aisle. The train was hoaching though so couldn’t move. 

[superjack]

2 hours ago, FWJ said:

Drivers.

When approaching the underpass at Newbridge you don’t need to slam on the brakes at the speed camera - you’re only doing 40 anyway.....

I remember not remembering about that camera once, doing about 60 and it flashed twice. However, there was obviously no film in it. My daughter still laughs about it now.

The ironic thing? I got clocked for speeding on the motorway in 1 of the crappest cars of modern times, the fiat punto.

[Harry Potter]

14 hours ago, superjack said:

I remember not remembering about that camera once, doing about 60 and it flashed twice. However, there was obviously no film in it. My daughter still laughs about it now.

The ironic thing? I got clocked for speeding on the motorway in 1 of the crappest cars of modern times, the fiat punto.

Think that area is a 50mph so 55 would be ok, as for a Fiat Punto, ex work mate had one, said to him great wee car

to drive round town, dont think he was too chuffed.

[superjack]

1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

Think that area is a 50mph so 55 would be ok, as for a Fiat Punto, ex work mate had one, said to him great wee car

to drive round town, dont think he was too chuffed.

I've had some bad cars over the years, the punto tops the lot for being the most shite.

When it was almost 4 years old, I had things going wrong that you would normally expect on a 10 to 15 year old car with high mileage.

[Harry Potter]

1 minute ago, superjack said:

I've had some bad cars over the years, the punto tops the lot for being the most shite.

When it was almost 4 years old, I had things going wrong that you would normally expect on a 10 to 15 year old car with high mileage.

I used to be a car snob mate, not now, this guy at worked loved himself, was a dig at him, my same car is 16 years old.

mondeo LX .

[Helzibob]

6 hours ago, Lord BJ said:

The constant spamming by posters of fake news. Usually tin hat wearing types who are usually going mental about the lies the media tell.

 

Proper ****ing weirdo’s

 

This! I actually called someone out who had shared a post of how the aids epidemic in Africa began. I checked for the post about 30 mins later and they had deleted it. Job done.

[superjack]

4 hours ago, Harry Potter said:

I used to be a car snob mate, not now, this guy at worked loved himself, was a dig at him, my same car is 16 years old.

mondeo LX .

I think that punto actually turned me into a little bit of a car snob. Since I had it, I made sure I saved up to make sure any car I have isn't as bad as that.

I remember when I got rid of it I got an Astra, nothing special, 1.7 diesel. Phoned the wife after I'd been driving it for half an hour and told her that I forgot I used to enjoy driving.

[superjack]

31 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

 

We also had a Punto. It was total shite and I remember my mechanic telling me what Fiat stands for......Fix It Again Tam. 

 

Made me laugh. In fact with it being an Italian car I am surprised it didn't have one forward gear and four reverse. 

Totally get the initials for fiat.

I went from a cavalier Sri to my punto, from a car that would reach 60 in just over 7 seconds to a car that struggled to reach 60 at all, except going down that wee hill under the new bridge roundabout.

[Helzibob]

20 minutes ago, superjack said:

Totally get the initials for fiat.

I went from a cavalier Sri to my punto, from a car that would reach 60 in just over 7 seconds to a car that struggled to reach 60 at all, except going down that wee hill under the new bridge roundabout.

 

You all think a punto was bad. My second car was a fiat siecento. When I overtook 2 chaps in a Subaru on the M1 they pissed themselves laughing. My mate called it a chicken chaser. Luckily, I only had it less than a year. 

[Sooperstar]

19 minutes ago, Helzibob said:

 

You all think a punto was bad. My second car was a fiat siecento. When I overtook 2 chaps in a Subaru on the M1 they pissed themselves laughing. My mate called it a chicken chaser. Luckily, I only had it less than a year. 

Played in a football team with a guy who had a bright yellow Sciecento. He used to drive it like a boy racer. I genuinely think he thought it was cool.