depression

[Les Izemore]

Thanks to all who've shared their experiences.

 

I've been treated for depression and anxiety on and off since 1999.

 

It's a brave step to open up. I'll try to share.

 

Take care all.

[Shapes]

I've now been on Citalopram for 2 months and myself and those close to me have noticed a massive difference. Things that would have got me so worked up and angry I'm now able to shake off or try see the positive. I just feel a lot more relaxed too. Definitely been the right move for me.

[gashauskis9]

Very brave folk on this thread. Keep up the fight, I know how it feels first hand.

Edited July 30, 2016 by Gashauskis9

[Beverley]

Actually I'd be inclined to encourage you to mention the voices as it's important. You'll not be sectioned or sent off to tell royal ed or anything at all, but your gp will take that seriously and you'll get the right help. Good luck

[hueyview]

i have dipped in and out of this thread over the last couple of years.  I have only respect for folk who try to take charge of a stigmatised illness. i have called it, a black cloud, some folk call it a black dog...........it effects us all differently.  It has effected my family, dad/aunt, and their forebears.  i find medication works, but the heavy drinking weekend can really, cause havok.

 

as someone holding down a gov job, senior line management are more than quick to say how enlightened they are to mental illnes issues, at the same time terrified, as if were catching........

[rossaldinho]

Suffered quite badly of depression for a while a few years ago and speaking to someone I didn't know helped me an incredible amount.

 

Started falling back into the hole at the beginning of this year and tried speaking to someone anonymous and it done nothing this time. Went to see my GP who put it down to sleeping issues, which I've suffered from my whole life so I doubt there's any association. Prescribed me sleeping pills that done absolutely nowt. It's now August and I feel no different whatsoever but I just put it down to hating where I work (the job is great, just not the location) but I was on holiday for 4 weeks in America with my parents and (now ex) girlfriend then broke off for 6 weeks. It's put me into that much of a state that my girlfriend and i are on a break because I refused to acknowledge that the black cloud was back and 'that work will get better'. I also only realised a couple of days ago that I keep having these massive mood swings without anything triggering them. My girlfriend and I were talking quite happily a few days ago then on Monday I totally snapped at her and think I've completely ruined my chances of getting back together which has made me feel even worse. Tried speaking to a couple of 'friends' about it and the only response was 'you're 24 and just spent ?28k on a new car, how can you be unhappy?'. My sleeping is getting even worse, no appetite, no motivation to do anything, and struggling to keep my emotions in check.

 

Finally bit the bullet and got an appointment with my GP tomorrow to hopefully get all this sorted.

[chester copperpot]

One of my good friends hung himself 3 weeks ago and the devestation it left behind was horrible.

 

Was horrible being at a funeral for a 31yr old as he wad just too young to go. 31 and seriously involved in the local drug scene etc. Didnt have the foggiest that he was feeling that way and he had just split with his long term bird.

 

Shame as she will be feeling rotten just now

[Morgan]

One of my good friends hung himself 3 weeks ago and the devestation it left behind was horrible.

Was horrible being at a funeral for a 31yr old as he wad just too young to go. 31 and seriously involved in the local drug scene etc. Didnt have the foggiest that he was feeling that way and he had just split with his long term bird.

Shame as she will be feeling rotten just now

So, so sorry mate.

 

No jokes this time.

[chester copperpot]

So, so sorry mate.

 

No jokes this time.

 

Aye mate it was pretty unexpected but like most blokes who suffer he hadnt told a soul about his issue.

 

Get it out in the open. I suffer from it but I am actually in a pretty good place just now and have felt fine for a good couple of years now.

[Morgan]

Aye mate it was pretty unexpected but like most blokes who suffer he hadnt told a soul about his issue.

Get it out in the open. I suffer from it but I am actually in a pretty good place just now and have felt fine for a good couple of years now.

Good stuff Chester.

 

Take care buddy.

[Sarah O]

.

[southcap]

Not spoke on here for a while or really read much. Generally ignore this thread for weeks one end. No idea why.

 

Anyway, for the last month or so I've been going through a pretty good patch. Haven't felt that need to just sleep all the time for a while, generally look forward to short term plans rather than dreading them, haven't annoyed anyone with my mood swings etc etc. Life is pretty sweet during these spells eh?

 

Another plus is that I've taken quite a bit of time to think about my bad spells.

 

I know that I have 2 major issues;

 

1. The depression/anxiety itself.

2. My refusal to get treatment.

 

Now clearly number 1 can't be resolved until number 2 can be resolved. But number 2 seems like quite an easy thing to resolve, so why haven't I?

 

It took a lot of thinking but I finally realised the simple answer to it. I can't accept I've got mental illnesses.

 

Out with posting on this thread, I've never talked to or even mentioned my issues to a single person. But worse than that, I've never admitted it to myself. I still tell myself any bad period is just a bad day and will be over quick and the good period is the norm but it is quite the opposite.

 

I'm not posting this as a bid for help and would ask that nobody messages me as an offer. I will decline. I'm posting this in the hope that if there's someone on here with the same issues with me, this will help them identify the issue and lead to them getting the help they need.

 

10+ years of this has caused quite chronic detrimental issues to my life, some of which will never be fixed regardless if I ever get help. Hopefully someone else can avoid that with this info.

 

Just reach out for help.

[Gizmo]

Not spoke on here for a while or really read much. Generally ignore this thread for weeks one end. No idea why.

 

Anyway, for the last month or so I've been going through a pretty good patch. Haven't felt that need to just sleep all the time for a while, generally look forward to short term plans rather than dreading them, haven't annoyed anyone with my mood swings etc etc. Life is pretty sweet during these spells eh?

 

Another plus is that I've taken quite a bit of time to think about my bad spells.

 

I know that I have 2 major issues;

 

1. The depression/anxiety itself.

2. My refusal to get treatment.

 

Now clearly number 1 can't be resolved until number 2 can be resolved. But number 2 seems like quite an easy thing to resolve, so why haven't I?

 

It took a lot of thinking but I finally realised the simple answer to it. I can't accept I've got mental illnesses.

 

Out with posting on this thread, I've never talked to or even mentioned my issues to a single person. But worse than that, I've never admitted it to myself. I still tell myself any bad period is just a bad day and will be over quick and the good period is the norm but it is quite the opposite.

 

I'm not posting this as a bid for help and would ask that nobody messages me as an offer. I will decline. I'm posting this in the hope that if there's someone on here with the same issues with me, this will help them identify the issue and lead to them getting the help they need.

 

10+ years of this has caused quite chronic detrimental issues to my life, some of which will never be fixed regardless if I ever get help. Hopefully someone else can avoid that with this info.

 

Just reach out for help.

Get help. 1 in 3 Doctors appointments are for mental health issues.

 

There is no stigma anymore than you would blame someone for catching an airborne virus. An illness or a bit of the body misfiring is common and is not your fault.

 

Or, put it this way - if your leg was hanging off you wouldn't slowly bleed to death for not wanting to be called physically ill.

 

Go and have a chat, your GP won't be phased and you don't  need to accept treatment - or even begin any. The pressure it will aleviate will be massive, though and there are a variety of approaches to helping you feel better or cope better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 14, 2016 by Gizmo

[Ray Gin]

One of my good friends hung himself 3 weeks ago and the devestation it left behind was horrible.

 

Was horrible being at a funeral for a 31yr old as he wad just too young to go. 31 and seriously involved in the local drug scene etc. Didnt have the foggiest that he was feeling that way and he had just split with his long term bird.

 

Shame as she will be feeling rotten just now

Went through the same with a mate a few years back. Devastating.

 

Don't suffer alone and talk to your friends or/and family. A lot of people will care more than you may think, and would do anything to help if they just knew you were suffering.

[Hansel]

Went through the same with a mate a few years back. Devastating.

 

Don't suffer alone and talk to your friends or/and family. A lot of people will care more than you may think, and would do anything to help if they just knew you were suffering.

Spot on. Lost a mate recently through suicide. A guy I knew through JKB (Jabba) and he even posted on this thread. Had no idea just how shit a time he was having because he was always such an outgoing lad and seemed to have everything sorted. A guy who'd do anything for anyone and was life and soul of the party.

 

He was messaging me earlier in the year asking how I was because I was going through a shit time. Really helped me. Wish I could have helped him somehow.

 

Point is, we all need to try and learn to reach out and ask for help when we need it. Something that a lot of guys struggle with. **** the stigma

[rossaldinho]

Been off work for 6 weeks due to working in a school and thought getting back to work would help clear my mind of all the shit but it has done the complete opposite. Started having an anxiety attack in the middle of a meeting this morning in an assembly hall full of teachers and had to run out. Had another couple and have just been sent home and got another appointment with the GP.

 

 

 

This is ****ing awful.

[Albert Tatlock]

I was diagnosed with depression in 1995 and have been on and off the tablets ever since. I come off them when I feel they are no longer working. This is the longest I have been off them, since just before Christmas.

 

I find that if I keep myself very busy, I tend to be ok, but if I gouch around or sleep to much that makes me feel shite and it takes a lot to get moving again.

 

I tend to walk almost everywhere and am going to yoga classes next month. The council website has a list of loads of night classes just now. Yoga is meant to be very good for anxiety and depression, so am looking forward to it.

[joseywales]

I have suffered depression in the past luckily for me I only had it for two months and did not know when it was going to end. I found googling about depression helped me because it made me feel normal and that others were going through the same thing. But I don't think medication can solve the problem I get bouts of depression now and again but in my experience you just can't give up you have to keep yourself occupied.

[rossaldinho]

I've got quite a few people who've been helping me during this, it was just unfortunate that it happened when I was at work. Last time I had one was when I was about 5 on my way to Florida 19 years ago haha!

 

I have the same issue at the moment. I just don't want to do anything. I've been going out on my bike a lot and going to the gym several times a week but it's a chore. I get annoyed when I'm not doing anything, then force myself to do something, then get annoyed because I really don't want to do it. Trying to get myself back into shape for the new volleyball season starting as I was just starting to get my neck in with the national team but all this has made me lose all my fitness/physique which makes me feel terrible about myself.

 

Reading through this thread has helped quite considerably as it's made me realise how common this actually is and the little tips are invaluable. You're all a great bunch (unless it's in the Terrace )

[Albert Tatlock]

Earlier on I was saying that being busy helped me, but reading the next few posts is true. I am obviously at a stage where being occupied is beneficial. Looking back, there were times when I was keeping busy to try and distract myself, and it made no difference.

 

I have to make the most of this "up" time, as I know deep down it won't last, but this is my longest time yet in 20 years. I would love to stay on an even keel as I am now

[Morgan]

Earlier on I was saying that being busy helped me, but reading the next few posts is true. I am obviously at a stage where being occupied is beneficial. Looking back, there were times when I was keeping busy to try and distract myself, and it made no difference.

I have to make the most of this "up" time, as I know deep down it won't last, but this is my longest time yet in 20 years. I would love to stay on an even keel as I am now

Sorry.

[Irufushi]

I can count on one hand how many mates I have col, I rarely go out either, sometimes I just enjoy going for a game of golf on my own, I should add I don't suffer from depression.

 

I like my own company, sounds kinda sad

[Gizmo]

This is a fundamental issue in society - the lack of socialising, of community. Lack of contact or lonelyness is as detrimental to the health of a person as many of the more obvious things but it isn't spoken about. It's one of the drivers behing the "men in sheds" and "walking football" movement for older blokes.

Social media should help but it doesn't imo - it provides an artificial arena which serves to skew one's perception that everyone else except you is living it large. It's selective and I think borderline harmful. I hate to get political on this thread but I think the work/life/community balance is increasingly unbalanced - we have moved from being hunter/gatherers, living closely together in large communities, to almost isolated by design and it's crap.

It is an area of people's lives that needs to be treated as far, far more important imo.

[Roland_Tye]

I had depression all my life - but wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. Before then I just thought I was miserable because I was Scottish!

 

I was suicidal all the time in my teens and 20s. It was a living hell. I used to post here under the name Roger the Pessimist, which says it all. Then my GP told me to try prozac. It both saved and changed my life completely. I felt born again. I wish I had got help sooner but at the same time am really thankful I did get help. Plenty of other "experts" said there was nothing wrong with me and I could've spent another 30 years living that nightmare. The good thing now is people understand it better and there is help. Prozac isn't for everyone but it has done me wonders.

 

I have recently written a book called "Weekender", which has just been published. It is set in Edinburgh over a weekend and one of the chapters is about depression. Another chapter is about supporting Hearts so I guess you could say two of the chapters are about depression!

[Irufushi]

I had depression all my life - but wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. Before then I just thought I was miserable because I was Scottish!

 

I was suicidal all the time in my teens and 20s. It was a living hell. I used to post here under the name Roger the Pessimist, which says it all. Then my GP told me to try prozac. It both saved and changed my life completely. I felt born again. I wish I had got help sooner but at the same time am really thankful I did get help. Plenty of other "experts" said there was nothing wrong with me and I could've spent another 30 years living that nightmare. The good thing now is people understand it better and there is help. Prozac isn't for everyone but it has done me wonders.

 

I have recently written a book called "Weekender", which has just been published. It is set in Edinburgh over a weekend and one of the chapters is about depression. Another chapter is about supporting Hearts so I guess you could say two of the chapters are about depression!

Good stuff mate,

[Morgan]

I had depression all my life - but wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. Before then I just thought I was miserable because I was Scottish!

 

I was suicidal all the time in my teens and 20s. It was a living hell. I used to post here under the name Roger the Pessimist, which says it all. Then my GP told me to try prozac. It both saved and changed my life completely. I felt born again. I wish I had got help sooner but at the same time am really thankful I did get help. Plenty of other "experts" said there was nothing wrong with me and I could've spent another 30 years living that nightmare. The good thing now is people understand it better and there is help. Prozac isn't for everyone but it has done me wonders.

 

I have recently written a book called "Weekender", which has just been published. It is set in Edinburgh over a weekend and one of the chapters is about depression. Another chapter is about supporting Hearts so I guess you could say two of the chapters are about depression!

 

Good stuff mate.

[chester copperpot]

I had depression all my life - but wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. Before then I just thought I was miserable because I was Scottish!

 

I was suicidal all the time in my teens and 20s. It was a living hell. I used to post here under the name Roger the Pessimist, which says it all. Then my GP told me to try prozac. It both saved and changed my life completely. I felt born again. I wish I had got help sooner but at the same time am really thankful I did get help. Plenty of other "experts" said there was nothing wrong with me and I could've spent another 30 years living that nightmare. The good thing now is people understand it better and there is help. Prozac isn't for everyone but it has done me wonders.

 

I have recently written a book called "Weekender", which has just been published. It is set in Edinburgh over a weekend and one of the chapters is about depression. Another chapter is about supporting Hearts so I guess you could say two of the chapters are about depression!

God bless mate

[pharmaceutical01]

I had depression all my life - but wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. Before then I just thought I was miserable because I was Scottish!

 

I was suicidal all the time in my teens and 20s. It was a living hell. I used to post here under the name Roger the Pessimist, which says it all. Then my GP told me to try prozac. It both saved and changed my life completely. I felt born again. I wish I had got help sooner but at the same time am really thankful I did get help. Plenty of other "experts" said there was nothing wrong with me and I could've spent another 30 years living that nightmare. The good thing now is people understand it better and there is help. Prozac isn't for everyone but it has done me wonders.

 

I have recently written a book called "Weekender", which has just been published. It is set in Edinburgh over a weekend and one of the chapters is about depression. Another chapter is about supporting Hearts so I guess you could say two of the chapters are about depression!

Sounds interesting. Not only a jambo but a pharmacist who has had depression. Sounds an interesting read.

 

Sent from my D2303 using Tapatalk

[AlimOzturk]

Brave people on this thread.

After a heavy night on the sauce the next few days can be hellish with funny thought a floating round my head. Think it is more session depression than anything more sinister so seriously considering giving the stuff up as Monday and Tuesday there was probably the worst i had ever felt.
[mod edit]

[chester copperpot]

Brave people on this thread.

 

After a heavy night on the sauce the next few days can be hellish with funny thought a floating round my head. Think it is more session depression than anything more sinister so seriously considering giving the stuff up as Monday and Tuesday there was probably the worst i had ever felt.

 

[mod edit]

 

Mate, I think the worst thing you can do when depressed is drink.

 

I used to do this to block out the depression and it was great at the time but the following few days after a session were horrendous.

 

Made a conscious decision to stay off it about 4 years ago until I had got to grips with the depression and being sober helped me deal with it so much.

 

I drink now and stuff but no where near the levels I used to and feel much much better for doing so.

 

Good luck chief.

[AlimOzturk]

Mate, I think the worst thing you can do when depressed is drink.

 

I used to do this to block out the depression and it was great at the time but the following few days after a session were horrendous.

 

Made a conscious decision to stay off it about 4 years ago until I had got to grips with the depression and being sober helped me deal with it so much.

 

I drink now and stuff but no where near the levels I used to and feel much much better for doing so.

 

Good luck chief.

I don't think I suffer depression Tbh. It is probably more to do with the drink playing funny buggers with my heed. Guilt, fear and an impending sense of doom surround me after a heavy session.

 

After a few days without it I am back to normal. Can't really head out and have a couple so until I am able to do that I am giving the stuff up for while until I can better control myself.

 

Feel for a lot of you guys on this thread. Never realised how bad depression effects people.

 

Good luck everyone fighting this.

Edited August 18, 2016 by AlimOzturk

[southcap]

I don't think I suffer depression Tbh. It is probably more to do with the drink playing funny buggers with my heed. Guilt, fear and an impending sense of doom surround me after a heavy session.

 

After a few days without it I am back to normal. Can't really head out and have a couple so until I am able to do that I am giving the stuff up for while until I can better control myself.

 

Feel for a lot of you guys on this thread. Never realised how bad depression effects people.

 

Good luck everyone fighting this.

That's anxiety. Or as everyone calls it, the fear.

[Gizmo]

I don't think I suffer depression Tbh. It is probably more to do with the drink playing funny buggers with my heed. Guilt, fear and an impending sense of doom surround me after a heavy session.

 

After a few days without it I am back to normal. Can't really head out and have a couple so until I am able to do that I am giving the stuff up for while until I can better control myself.

 

Feel for a lot of you guys on this thread. Never realised how bad depression effects people.

 

Good luck everyone fighting this.

A lot of drinking can leave the person feeling quite paranoid the next day as the body is basically poisoned. I drink rarely now as it affects my depressions/anxiety and that horrible edgyness I get with hangovers is not a nice thing to bear.

 

You might find that certain drinks create a less pronounced after-effect - or combining drinks out with food and other stuff reduces intake a bit without you feeling like your missing out.

[Maiden Gorgie]

Drink made my depression 10x worse during my bad spell. I used it to block it or create a haze over the way I was actually feeling. No big surprise that I had woke up the next day feeling like absolute shite and a whole lot worse about myself. It nearly cost me my marriage to be honest.

 

When i was on the meds I would limit myself to a couple of drinks at the weekend and nothing during the week. I felt better within days, best thing I ever did.

 

I like to think my worst days are behind me but still get the odd "wobble" as my GP would call it, but I can see it coming and can manage it.

 

I think everyone that has contributed to this thread need a huge pat on the back, it certainly has helped me and I would think lots of others too.

 

Take care y'all

[rossaldinho]

I just try to cut all those people out although I'm not married so that may be easier said than done. All I used to get was 'cheer up, it's no that bad'. Feck me never thought about doing that!

 

All of that came from people who have never been in this situation and don't fully understand so it's easy for them to alienate you because of this. I've started to get a lot of flak off of my ex, her parents, and now her friends because my mood was always down which was bring her down, but who gives a shite how I feel? They've never been through it before. 

 

Blocked every single one of them on social media and phone numbers so I don't have to deal with it. 

[Morgan]

Ignore them.

 

They clearly don't understand and by trying to explain you will make them worse towards you.

[LeftBack]

This is a fundamental issue in society - the lack of socialising, of community. Lack of contact or lonelyness is as detrimental to the health of a person as many of the more obvious things but it isn't spoken about. It's one of the drivers behing the "men in sheds" and "walking football" movement for older blokes.

 

Social media should help but it doesn't imo - it provides an artificial arena which serves to skew one's perception that everyone else except you is living it large. It's selective and I think borderline harmful. I hate to get political on this thread but I think the work/life/community balance is increasingly unbalanced - we have moved from being hunter/gatherers, living closely together in large communities, to almost isolated by design and it's crap.

 

It is an area of people's lives that needs to be treated as far, far more important imo.

I actually give presentations on just these things as part of my work. You are absolutely right - social isolation/loneliness is one of the biggest factors affecting mental health and it is getting worse. I have met people who have admitted they were waiting to die before joining a Men's Shed and the improvement in their health and well-being has been startling over the two years they have been going. In terms of the walking football - the main health benefit is not the (minimal) exercise but from the pint and camaraderie afterwards.

Best wishes to all on this thread - [mod edit]

[southcap]

So tomorrow I'm finally going to get an appointment to see a doctor. The last week has been the worst I can ever remember and I can't seem to put the bottle down. I've not been a regular drinker for years now and I fear I'm at risk of falling back in love with alcohol if my current mental state stays this way.

 

I can't lie, I'm utterly terrified.

[Morgan]

So tomorrow I'm finally going to get an appointment to see a doctor. The last week has been the worst I can ever remember and I can't seem to put the bottle down. I've not been a regular drinker for years now and I fear I'm at risk of falling back in love with alcohol if my current mental state stays this way.

I can't lie, I'm utterly terrified.

Good luck mate.

[Der Kaiser]

Two years on happy pills for me now. Best decision I made. I struggle to see a future off them though. Even little dips in my mood feel scary and I'd hate to think how I'd be off them.

 

Recently I plain went off food? Didn't miss it, didn't feel hungry. Didn't help that I noticeably lost weight as it can't be healthy skipping breakfast, having a can of Pepsi Max for lunch and a slice of toast for tea.....

[southcap]

Good luck mate.

Cheers. Will report back here how,it goes.

[Solid Snake]

Two years on happy pills for me now. Best decision I made. I struggle to see a future off them though. Even little dips in my mood feel scary and I'd hate to think how I'd be off them.

 

Recently I plain went off food? Didn't miss it, didn't feel hungry. Didn't help that I noticeably lost weight as it can't be healthy skipping breakfast, having a can of Pepsi Max for lunch and a slice of toast for tea.....

I'm in the same in relation to the bold part. I've been on Citalopram (20mg) for around six months now.

 

Even though I don't notice a massive difference on the pills, I know that they are helping in some respects and coming off them makes me afraid.

 

I'm due to go back to my GP for a check up soon, so might suggest changing to different medication or increasing the dosage, as still finding day to day life difficult with regards to depression and anxiety.

 

Or maybe what I'm taking is making me reach the best level of happiness I can possibly get to? Who knows, will see what the GP says.

 

I'd say I'm definitely in a better position than I was a year ago, but still finding things hard.

[southcap]

And the docs are shut to day, god damn it.

 

What's an extra day though after all these years.

[Салатные палочки]

And the docs are shut to day, god damn it.

 

What's an extra day though after all these years.

 

Keep the chin up today mate, although that can be the worst advice at times like this.  Hopefully it's comforting to know that even if it's just on here there is people who have been there or are going through the same. 

 

You're doing the right thing by seeing your GP.  

[southcap]

Keep the chin up today mate, although that can be the worst advice at times like this.  Hopefully it's comforting to know that even if it's just on here there is people who have been there or are going through the same. 

 

You're doing the right thing by seeing your GP.  

Cheers, it's appreciated.

 

What should I expect for my first appointment? I've got very little experience of the docs full stop, rarely ever need an appointment, probably less than once every 3/4 years. So it's safe to say I'm going in here completely blind.

 

Also, how did everyone cope with it ego wise? I know it's the last thing I should worry about but I'm finding it impossible to. Although I've accepted I've got mental health issues for a long time, the thought of it being on my permanent medical record sort of worries me. I can't really find the words to explain why this bothers me so much but it does.

 

Also, who does everyone talk to about this? Other than one other person who I can't talk to any more, this is the only place I've every admitted to having a problem. I want to talk to someone in person about it but can't think of anyone who I'd want to share it with. Again, this is probably more of an ego thing than people I know being inappropriate to talk to.

 

Also, did anyone find when they did speak to people they were surprised or did they always figure something wasn't quite right? I think I've done an excellent job of hiding it all these years since all bar one person has ever brought it up to me. I'd probably be somewhat relieved if people admitted they knew something was wrong but at the same time, why didn't they say something?

 

Trying to get this dealt with seems to be making me worse in the short term as it feels like my head is going to explode any minute with worry now.

[rossaldinho]

Cheers, it's appreciated.

 

What should I expect for my first appointment? I've got very little experience of the docs full stop, rarely ever need an appointment, probably less than once every 3/4 years. So it's safe to say I'm going in here completely blind.

 

Also, how did everyone cope with it ego wise? I know it's the last thing I should worry about but I'm finding it impossible to. Although I've accepted I've got mental health issues for a long time, the thought of it being on my permanent medical record sort of worries me. I can't really find the words to explain why this bothers me so much but it does.

 

Also, who does everyone talk to about this? Other than one other person who I can't talk to any more, this is the only place I've every admitted to having a problem. I want to talk to someone in person about it but can't think of anyone who I'd want to share it with. Again, this is probably more of an ego thing than people I know being inappropriate to talk to.

 

Also, did anyone find when they did speak to people they were surprised or did they always figure something wasn't quite right? I think I've done an excellent job of hiding it all these years since all bar one person has ever brought it up to me. I'd probably be somewhat relieved if people admitted they knew something was wrong but at the same time, why didn't they say something?

 

Trying to get this dealt with seems to be making me worse in the short term as it feels like my head is going to explode any minute with worry now.

 

I got prescribed with mirtazapine on my first appointment which helped for a few weeks but then wore off so the dosage got upped to 30mg instead of 15mg. Still not convinced this is working either considering I tried to OD on it a couple of weeks ago. 

 

I'm not a big fan of talking about it publicly although most people know I suffer from mental health issues through other people talking about me and how much I've changed over the last couple of years. End of the day it's your life and shouldn't matter what people think of you but I totally understand that it's difficult to understand that. It took me a while to realise this but it clicked one day when I realised just how common an issue depression has become nowadays. 

Speaking to someone anonymous helps because there's no worry of them spreading shite about you to people you know. My GP offered me the chance to speak to a psychologist about it but never took it up. I'm back at the docs tomorrow and need organise speaking to someone about it because I know my mental state is getting much, much worse. 

 

You think you're doing a good job hiding it but people just know. I thought I was doing great hiding it but it turns out my family, and my (at the time) girlfriend and her family were talking about me but didn't want to say anything in case I flipped the lid. I just don't understand why no one ever mentioned it to me earlier so I could have got on top of it before it tried to kill me and I could have rescued my relationship.

 

If you need someone to talk to, drop me a PM. We're all fighting this together.  

[Салатные палочки]

Cheers, it's appreciated.

 

What should I expect for my first appointment? I've got very little experience of the docs full stop, rarely ever need an appointment, probably less than once every 3/4 years. So it's safe to say I'm going in here completely blind.

 

Also, how did everyone cope with it ego wise? I know it's the last thing I should worry about but I'm finding it impossible to. Although I've accepted I've got mental health issues for a long time, the thought of it being on my permanent medical record sort of worries me. I can't really find the words to explain why this bothers me so much but it does.

 

Also, who does everyone talk to about this? Other than one other person who I can't talk to any more, this is the only place I've every admitted to having a problem. I want to talk to someone in person about it but can't think of anyone who I'd want to share it with. Again, this is probably more of an ego thing than people I know being inappropriate to talk to.

 

Also, did anyone find when they did speak to people they were surprised or did they always figure something wasn't quite right? I think I've done an excellent job of hiding it all these years since all bar one person has ever brought it up to me. I'd probably be somewhat relieved if people admitted they knew something was wrong but at the same time, why didn't they say something?

 

Trying to get this dealt with seems to be making me worse in the short term as it feels like my head is going to explode any minute with worry now.

 

The main thing is, from the off, be totally honest with your GP.  If your not honest, or minimise your problems then you could leave the docs no better off than when you first went in.  If your drinking to help you cope with your problems I would imagine your GP may recommend a referral (should you agree to it)  to your local addictions team. Your GP will no doubt ask you to be frank about your problems to no doubt get you prescribed the best medication/support for your level of anxiety/depression.  That is why it's important to be honest.  

 

It's best to let the ego go at times like this.  Don't try "manning up" or whatever anyone who hasn't been there might suggest.  You have already got over the first hurdle by admitting you have a problem.  That's the hardest part.  Have a read at this thread and look at the amount of us who have, at one point, had to let heads rule our ego's. Yes, it will be on your record, I thought that also but then I thought, rather that than going through this until what?  Drinking myself to death or doing something more drastic?  

 

I was lucky at the time that my ex helped me through it and got me to the doc's.  Despite what has happened between us, I will be forever grateful to her that she helped me through that time.  My parent's, although I love them, they are very much of the old school where their solution to everything is "just get on with it".  Nah, sorry, that's just not possible at times.  If you feel you can't approach anyone in your family or your friend group then the internet has a lot of forums for mental health issues.  My ex had noticed for years I suffered from depression at times and it was only when our relationship was basically going through its death throes that I sought help.  

 

With regards to your last comment, as I said, you have got over the first hurdle by admitting you have a problem.  I can tell you from experience that when you finally see the GP tomorrow it will be like a massive weight off your shoulders.  If how they treat you doesn't have any effect after a while, go back.  And keep going back if you don't feel any improvement.  

 

I sincerely wish you all the best. I have been there and I may even be there in the future.  

[southcap]

I got prescribed with mirtazapine on my first appointment which helped for a few weeks but then wore off so the dosage got upped to 30mg instead of 15mg. Still not convinced this is working either considering I tried to OD on it a couple of weeks ago. 

 

I'm not a big fan of talking about it publicly although most people know I suffer from mental health issues through other people talking about me and how much I've changed over the last couple of years. End of the day it's your life and shouldn't matter what people think of you but I totally understand that it's difficult to understand that. It took me a while to realise this but it clicked one day when I realised just how common an issue depression has become nowadays. 

Speaking to someone anonymous helps because there's no worry of them spreading shite about you to people you know. My GP offered me the chance to speak to a psychologist about it but never took it up. I'm back at the docs tomorrow and need organise speaking to someone about it because I know my mental state is getting much, much worse. 

 

You think you're doing a good job hiding it but people just know. I thought I was doing great hiding it but it turns out my family, and my (at the time) girlfriend and her family were talking about me but didn't want to say anything in case I flipped the lid. I just don't understand why no one ever mentioned it to me earlier so I could have got on top of it before it tried to kill me and I could have rescued my relationship.

 

If you need someone to talk to, drop me a PM. We're all fighting this together.  

Sorry to hear about your OD attempt mate.

 

I'm going to drop you a PM shortly as there's a few things I want to talk about that I'd rather not do publicly, as I'm sure someone with a keen eye for detail may be able to recognise me.

 

 

The main thing is, from the off, be totally honest with your GP.  If your not honest, or minimise your problems then you could leave the docs no better off than when you first went in.  If your drinking to help you cope with your problems I would imagine your GP may recommend a referral (should you agree to it)  to your local addictions team. Your GP will no doubt ask you to be frank about your problems to no doubt get you prescribed the best medication/support for your level of anxiety/depression.  That is why it's important to be honest.  

 

It's best to let the ego go at times like this.  Don't try "manning up" or whatever anyone who hasn't been there might suggest.  You have already got over the first hurdle by admitting you have a problem.  That's the hardest part.  Have a read at this thread and look at the amount of us who have, at one point, had to let heads rule our ego's. Yes, it will be on your record, I thought that also but then I thought, rather that than going through this until what?  Drinking myself to death or doing something more drastic?  

 

I was lucky at the time that my ex helped me through it and got me to the doc's.  Despite what has happened between us, I will be forever grateful to her that she helped me through that time.  My parent's, although I love them, they are very much of the old school where their solution to everything is "just get on with it".  Nah, sorry, that's just not possible at times.  If you feel you can't approach anyone in your family or your friend group then the internet has a lot of forums for mental health issues.  My ex had noticed for years I suffered from depression at times and it was only when our relationship was basically going through its death throes that I sought help.  

 

With regards to your last comment, as I said, you have got over the first hurdle by admitting you have a problem.  I can tell you from experience that when you finally see the GP tomorrow it will be like a massive weight off your shoulders.  If how they treat you doesn't have any effect after a while, go back.  And keep going back if you don't feel any improvement.  

 

I sincerely wish you all the best. I have been there and I may even be there in the future.  

Appreciate all your comments mate. It does make me feel a bit better that other people had identical worries as me before going through with it.

I think one thing I'm going to need after all this is a proper massage. My neck, shoulders and back feel like they are glued together. I think in my case taking a weight of my shoulders is going to be literal.

 

As of right now I don't think I've got anything more to add to this conversation publicly so I'm going to bow out til something new pops into my head worth talking about.

 

Again, appreciate the time and effort everyone has taken to reply to my posts. I know I come across as a bit of a dick on most other topics on this forum so appreciate people can look past that and help.

 

Everyone that posts on this topic is a legend.

 

Rossaldinho, I'll fire you a pm at some point this afternoon. Cheers.

[Col1874]

I know I come across as a bit of a dick on most other topics on this forum so appreciate people can look past that and help.

 

 

If that is true, then that could easily be a symptom of depression rather than you being you. (I can't recall any of your other posts so I can't comment)

 

I found myself being horrible and suspicious of everyone.

 

Definitely speak to your GP, be totally honest with him/her, I've held back in the past as I felt embarrassed about having a mental health problem but I didn't actually get the help I needed.

 

I'm on 100mg Sertraline at the moment and its not got me back to 100% yet, but I'm getting there.

 

I feel like I hit rock bottom in August. Just over a month ago my GP stopped my medication as I told him I was feeling suicidal, he said that its obviously not doing its job.

 

Around 2 weeks later, as the sertraline got out of my system I stupidly overdosed twice in one day, then a few days later I walked around 26 miles until I was in too much pain to go any further resulting in a Police missing persons report being published all over facebook and Twitter - I was mortified.

 

I was taken back to Edinburgh after being picked up by police who were searching.

 

I am really annoyed and embarrassed with myself for recent events, but my Community Psychiatric Nurse has been trying to make me realise that its not my fault that I done what I done as Mental Health isn't something that you can control yourself with ease.

 

I'm now feeling a lot better, but not yet back to normal but I posted this to show that there is light at the end of the mental health tunnel.

[Sandy Clark]

Cheers, it's appreciated.

 

What should I expect for my first appointment? I've got very little experience of the docs full stop, rarely ever need an appointment, probably less than once every 3/4 years. So it's safe to say I'm going in here completely blind.

 

Also, how did everyone cope with it ego wise? I know it's the last thing I should worry about but I'm finding it impossible to. Although I've accepted I've got mental health issues for a long time, the thought of it being on my permanent medical record sort of worries me. I can't really find the words to explain why this bothers me so much but it does.

 

Also, who does everyone talk to about this? Other than one other person who I can't talk to any more, this is the only place I've every admitted to having a problem. I want to talk to someone in person about it but can't think of anyone who I'd want to share it with. Again, this is probably more of an ego thing than people I know being inappropriate to talk to.

 

Also, did anyone find when they did speak to people they were surprised or did they always figure something wasn't quite right? I think I've done an excellent job of hiding it all these years since all bar one person has ever brought it up to me. I'd probably be somewhat relieved if people admitted they knew something was wrong but at the same time, why didn't they say something?

 

Trying to get this dealt with seems to be making me worse in the short term as it feels like my head is going to explode any minute with worry now.

It all depends how good the doctor is but with me I was honest and explained some back story. The tablets pretty much stopped me doing anything really stupid but the hard work has still to be done by yourself. I stopped drinking, read many self help books, cut out negative people from my life and generally changed the world as I know it. Every little helps so listen to self help podcasts and keep a journal.

 

Stick with it and don't worry if you have a relapse, just get back on the horse the next day.