depression

[Albert Tatlock]

DP

Edited June 18, 2017 by Albert Tatlock

[Jeff]

Very easily done by a normal punter. He was about to be exposed by the s.., so went public. Fair play to him, but his issues are no more valid than for us normal punters.. But, wow he is in the public eye. Which makes it even worse, he has the world at his feet. In rehab, character intact. Anyone else not in the limelight is junkie scum.

Why the feck does he get all the empathy, but people who are really struggling, with nothing, no hope or future for themselves are demonised. But he is mega successful, worth a fortune, so pity party for him

 

Disclaimer ...I am not Maroon Legions

Who demonises non-celebs with depression? I think the more big names who come out with their problems, the better in terms of awareness

[Albert Tatlock]

 

Who demonises non-celebs with depression? I think the more big names who come out with their problems, the better in terms of awareness[/quote

 

An awful lot of people. A celebrity goes down and the sympathy is there in bucket loads. But me or you or your spouse or kids etc, that is a different game. There is no applause or adulation for US going through this.... But a celeb has the money and means to indulge.....so it is not out of desperation, just greed....to get the hit to take the pain away. That celeb should live a month in a REAL situation. A total f up situation where you are desperate. Aww poor man that he is...cos he is a celeb. If it was me or you, we would be swept off the streets.

This is the problem... What makes Ant or Dec or the TOWIE folk etc better than me.... Feck all, but the media exposure. Sad sad times that folk lap it up

[Maroon Sailor]

 

I agree with what your saying.

 

No doubt Ant's personal case will be discussed on This Morning and Loose Women tomorrow.

 

O.K it highlights things and brings it back in the minds of people but it soon gets swept away until another celeb hits skid row

Edited June 18, 2017 by Maroon Sailor

[Col1874]

 

 

Who demonises non-celebs with depression? I think the more big names who come out with their problems, the better in terms of awareness

An awful lot of people. A celebrity goes down and the sympathy is there in bucket loads. But me or you or your spouse or kids etc, that is a different game. There is no applause or adulation for US going through this.... But a celeb has the money and means to indulge.....so it is not out of desperation, just greed....to get the hit to take the pain away. That celeb should live a month in a REAL situation. A total f up situation where you are desperate. Aww poor man that he is...cos he is a celeb. If it was me or you, we would be swept off the streets.

This is the problem... What makes Ant or Dec or the TOWIE folk etc better than me.... Feck all, but the media exposure. Sad sad times that folk lap it up

I disagree with that. I've had my fair share of bad times but I don't expect to have anywhere near as much attention as a celebrity.

 

If you're one of the most successful TV show hosts at the moment then its always going to be that they'll get more attention and people feeling sorry for them etc...

 

They'll get private treatment which in reality isn't much of a step up from NHS treatment. The simple fact is, I can get exactly three same medical care as they'll get as part of their ITV contracts.

 

My employer covers all employees for private healthcare. I'm not anywhere near as privileged as a celeb, I'm just a bottom of the ladder dead-end office administrator, same as I have been for the past 18 years.

Edited June 19, 2017 by Col1874

[elvoys]

Not suggesting its a panacea here for anyone but Jordan Petersons videos about identifying with the transformative self and not your past self/ static self are proving v popular on YouTube. Mixes in bible archetypes with Nietzche and Dostoyevsky.

 

Might be a bit self helpy for some but thought I'd suggest.

[Maroon Sailor]

I disagree with that. I've had my fair share of bad times but I don't expect to have anywhere near as much attention as a celebrity.

If you're one of the most successful TV show hosts at the moment then its always going to be that they'll get more attention and people feeling sorry for them etc...

They'll get private treatment which in reality isn't much of a step up from NHS treatment. The simple fact is, I can get exactly three same medical care as they'll get as part of their ITV contracts.

My employer covers all employees for private healthcare. I'm not anywhere near as privileged as a celeb, I'm just a bottom of the ladder dead-end office administrator, same as I have been for the past 18 years.

Looks like Ant's bosses at ITV are giving him a year's sabbatical

 

Not many employers would be so sympathetic in the ordinary workplace

[Martin]

Posted on this thread a few years back and just had to do so again as its been brilliant how open and honest so many of you have been. It's really inspiring and helps take away the stigma of such a horrible condition.

 

I'm not going through the best time right now and reading this helps me, but thats not why I wanted to post. There will be people who haven't posted that will have benefited a lot because you have and shared your experiences. It takes a lot of guts and bravery to do that and I think its superb that so many over the years have done.

 

Hope everyone is doing well and its so important to talk, so many of us are forced into the situations we find ourselves in, because we don't feel able to talk to someone or the people aren't there to talk to. That's where a thread like this is so good. People don't have to suffer on their own.

 

I'll stop there before it turns into a ramble but great work everyone, particularly when its so difficult to talk about mental health when you are a man, due to the ridiculous stigmas that must stop.

[Harry Potter]

Posted on this thread a few years back and just had to do so again as its been brilliant how open and honest so many of you have been. It's really inspiring and helps take away the stigma of such a horrible condition.

 

I'm not going through the best time right now and reading this helps me, but thats not why I wanted to post. There will be people who haven't posted that will have benefited a lot because you have and shared your experiences. It takes a lot of guts and bravery to do that and I think its superb that so many over the years have done.

 

Hope everyone is doing well and its so important to talk, so many of us are forced into the situations we find ourselves in, because we don't feel able to talk to someone or the people aren't there to talk to. That's where a thread like this is so good. People don't have to suffer on their own.

 

I'll stop there before it turns into a ramble but great work everyone, particularly when its so difficult to talk about mental health when you are a man, due to the ridiculous stigmas that must stop.

Great post Martin , think half the battle is getting your family and friends in to the knowledge that you are not well.

I hope you are receiving help for your present illness, i find it even hard to open up to a doctor which is silly as they are the ones to help.

I still get bad days but getting there slowly, take care mate and remember you are not alone.

[lauriesrank]

Looks like Ant's bosses at ITV are giving him a year's sabbatical

 

Not many employers would be so sympathetic in the ordinary workplace

I got laid off when diagnosed with depression, that helped me immensely as you can probably imagine.

[Morgan]

Great post Martin , think half the battle is getting your family and friends in to the knowledge that you are not well.

I hope you are receiving help for your present illness, i find it even hard to open up to a doctor which is silly as they are the ones to help.

I still get bad days but getting there slowly, take care mate and remember you are not alone.

Nice post Harry.

[Col1874]

i find it even hard to open up to a doctor which is silly as they are the ones to help.

I've yet to visit a GP who genuinely cares and wants to help so it's easy to see why people feel this way.

 

I've gave up on my GP as I'm treated like a hypochondriac whenever I mention anything mental health related.

[AlimOzturk]

I've yet to visit a GP who genuinely cares and wants to help so it's easy to see why people feel this way.

 

I've gave up on my GP as I'm treated like a hypochondriac whenever I mention anything mental health related.

Better with a councillor.

 

Pricey but worth every penny

[Unknown user]

Better with a councillor.

 

Pricey but worth every penny

I'd go to a counsellor myself

[Morgan]

I'd go to a counsellor myself

[AlimOzturk]

I'd go to a counsellor myself

 

Took me a minute there.

[chester copperpot]

 

Didn't know where to lost this as didn't want a 'hey look at me thread'

 

Been with the lass for over 3yrs now.

 

Now bear with me, as I am looking for advice here as don't know what to do.

 

I went through a power of birds when at Uni however met my ex wife when still at Uni and was married for 11yrs when she binned me in 2012.

 

I was devastated and took me a long time to come to terms with it.

 

Was single for 3 years and again, did loads of shagging but met my current bird 3yrs ago. Didn't plan to get involved but she was so nice that I fell for her. Here's where it gets interesting.

 

She a lovely girl, younger than me, pretty good looking and everyone tells me constantly that I am punching well above my weight (which I am)...... she owns her own house, we stay together and both have lovely cars and good jobs however.......

 

I just don't love her anymore. I can't explain why as she is everything that I want in a lass. She's faithful, I know she's never cheat on me and know she never would.

 

I find her a bit boring and know I will regret this if I follow it through.

 

I'd need to find a new place to live, my kids love her to pieces and know it would upset all my family but I just see her and feel nothing now. She's done absolutely nothing wrong either, and has been great.

 

Why do you think I feel like this? I'd like some advice as though there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, I just can't seem to get into her. My life would turn upside down if I go through with it but that shouldn't be a reason to stay with her should it?

 

Do you think I could be having a late reaction to me being binned all those years ago? (Nearly 6 now)

[Hansel]

Didn't know where to lost this as didn't want a 'hey look at me thread'

 

Been with the lass for over 3yrs now.

 

Now bear with me, as I am looking for advice here as don't know what to do.

 

I went through a power of birds when at Uni however met my ex wife when still at Uni and was married for 11yrs when she binned me in 2012.

 

I was devastated and took me a long time to come to terms with it.

 

Was single for 3 years and again, did loads of shagging but met my current bird 3yrs ago. Didn't plan to get involved but she was so nice that I fell for her. Here's where it gets interesting.

 

She a lovely girl, younger than me, pretty good looking and everyone tells me constantly that I am punching well above my weight (which I am)...... she owns her own house, we stay together and both have lovely cars and good jobs however.......

 

I just don't love her anymore. I can't explain why as she is everything that I want in a lass. She's faithful, I know she's never cheat on me and know she never would.

 

I find her a bit boring and know I will regret this if I follow it through.

 

I'd need to find a new place to live, my kids love her to pieces and know it would upset all my family but I just see her and feel nothing now. She's done absolutely nothing wrong either, and has been great.

 

Why do you think I feel like this? I'd like some advice as though there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, I just can't seem to get into her. My life would turn upside down if I go through with it but that shouldn't be a reason to stay with her should it?

 

Do you think I could be having a late reaction to me being binned all those years ago? (Nearly 6 now)

It could possibly be that subconsciously you're scared because of your past experience of being left by your wife, and by Rejecting her before she rejects you you'll be protecting yourself from being hurt again.

 

Especially if you feel she's out of your league in the looks department then that's going to reinforce feelings of unworthiness and over the last three years you've built up emotional walls to protect yourself, but in doing so it has stopped you from feeling anything for her.

 

 

Or something

[tian447]

I think the real problem is the amount of self-diagnosed idiots out there that go on and on about how "depressed I am" and how that "depression is the worst".

 

Honestly, these ***** have a bad Monday and blame it on depression or anxiety, instead of blaming it on "The Fear" that they're suffering from hammering it at the weekend.

 

It really winds me up that people treat mental illness and mental wellbeing like something that they can make up as and when they choose.

 

*****.

[Col1874]

I think the real problem is the amount of self-diagnosed idiots out there that go on and on about how "depressed I am" and how that "depression is the worst".

 

Honestly, these ***** have a bad Monday and blame it on depression or anxiety, instead of blaming it on "The Fear" that they're suffering from hammering it at the weekend.

 

It really winds me up that people treat mental illness and mental wellbeing like something that they can make up as and when they choose.

 

*****.

I'm struggling to relate your post to anything posted prior to yours.

 

I think that perhaps you're forgetting that people who have suffered from depression in the past need to accept that there are other people in the world who also have or will go through it.

 

I do agree with you to a point, theres 1 girl in particular at my work who always goes on saying she'll end up in a mental hospital and that really winds me up since in reality, shes just an attention whore.

[tian447]

I'm struggling to relate your post to anything posted prior to yours.

 

I think that perhaps you're forgetting that people who have suffered from depression in the past need to accept that there are other people in the world who also have or will go through it.

 

I do agree with you to a point, theres 1 girl in particular at my work who always goes on saying she'll end up in a mental hospital and that really winds me up since in reality, shes just an attention whore.

It probably isn't related, it was more of a drunken rant if I'm honest...

 

I just get a bit fed up with people that use it as an attention seek. I see it all over Facebook, people posting things like #mentalhealthawareness and other stuff along those lines every single day. It's not depression, it's a convenient excuse for attention. I've struggled with depression a few years back, and holy ****, the last thing I wanted to do was tell people about it, or even speak to people. I work with people who are the exact same, they don't want to draw attention to it, and certainly don't go on about it all the time.

 

Self diagnosis is not the same as actually having something!

[Sandy Clark]

Didn't know where to lost this as didn't want a 'hey look at me thread'

 

Been with the lass for over 3yrs now.

 

Now bear with me, as I am looking for advice here as don't know what to do.

 

I went through a power of birds when at Uni however met my ex wife when still at Uni and was married for 11yrs when she binned me in 2012.

 

I was devastated and took me a long time to come to terms with it.

 

Was single for 3 years and again, did loads of shagging but met my current bird 3yrs ago. Didn't plan to get involved but she was so nice that I fell for her. Here's where it gets interesting.

 

She a lovely girl, younger than me, pretty good looking and everyone tells me constantly that I am punching well above my weight (which I am)...... she owns her own house, we stay together and both have lovely cars and good jobs however.......

 

I just don't love her anymore. I can't explain why as she is everything that I want in a lass. She's faithful, I know she's never cheat on me and know she never would.

 

I find her a bit boring and know I will regret this if I follow it through.

 

I'd need to find a new place to live, my kids love her to pieces and know it would upset all my family but I just see her and feel nothing now. She's done absolutely nothing wrong either, and has been great.

 

Why do you think I feel like this? I'd like some advice as though there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, I just can't seem to get into her. My life would turn upside down if I go through with it but that shouldn't be a reason to stay with her should it?

 

Do you think I could be having a late reaction to me being binned all those years ago? (Nearly 6 now)

 

Many factors involved.  Could this be a phase you are going through?  How long have you felt this way?

 

You can try to spice the relationship up in various ways (you can google that!!!), that might help.  Couples counselling is also worth a try as it sounds like you want to make it work but just aren't 'feeling it' at the moment.

 

Unfortunately you should talk to her about it and ultimately if it's not working then you'll have to be honest with her, and yourself, and move on.

 

Hopefully it won't come to that though and, importantly, hopefully a break up, if that happens, doesn't lead into a tailspin of regret and depression!

[JudyJudyJudy]

Good on people for being honest about the realities of depression. Male suicide is the biggest killer of men of a certain age ( cant recall the statistics but it is a large killer) so any positive discussion of this almost taboo subject is welcome 

[Morgan]

Chester?

 

Obviously, I don't know you mate (sometimes wish I did by the way) but please look at the girl again, look why you fell for her, don't concentrate on her appearance, take note of the wee things she does that you like (facial stuff, wee comments, her eyes (very important) and her words and her softness.

 

She'll have wee things that she does that only you'll know. My fantastic wife has so many of these things and unfortunately, I don't tell her enough about them. I will from now on. We have our anniversary and her birthday on Sunday, if it was the last it would destroy me.

 

Good luck mate and please, make the correct decision.

 

You'll not regret that.

 

Morgan.

[Stuart Lyon]

Well said Morgan!

[Jeff]

Seen a few posts on this forum where guys have mentioned that they felt like they were no longer in love with their partner and then turn out to miss them a lot when they finally did get rid. All I can say is, take your time and think everything through before making a decision.

[chester copperpot]

Chester?

 

Obviously, I don't know you mate (sometimes wish I did by the way) but please look at the girl again, look why you fell for her, don't concentrate on her appearance, take note of the wee things she does that you like (facial stuff, wee comments, her eyes (very important) and her words and her softness.

 

She'll have wee things that she does that only you'll know. My fantastic wife has so many of these things and unfortunately, I don't tell her enough about them. I will from now on. We have our anniversary and her birthday on Sunday, if it was the last it would destroy me.

 

Good luck mate and please, make the correct decision.

 

You'll not regret that.

 

Morgan.

 

Lovely words man.

 

I'm not chucking the towel in as things are going amazing for me.

 

I guess that's the issue with depression. It can get you at any time.

 

Just had a fantastic post created for me at work, got a new car, relationship is solid enough but feeling shite.

 

Not had much drink lately as when I recognise the symptoms I cut back and beast the gym.

 

Even that's not helping!

[doctor jambo]

Lovely words man.

 

I'm not chucking the towel in as things are going amazing for me.

 

I guess that's the issue with depression. It can get you at any time.

 

Just had a fantastic post created for me at work, got a new car, relationship is solid enough but feeling shite.

 

Not had much drink lately as when I recognise the symptoms I cut back and beast the gym.

 

Even that's not helping!

Think of the kids

if they like her and she is good for them, chances are she is great, but how you feel about yourself is masking that.

kids are a better judge of people than adults as they are not jaded

You should come out of it, but don't be hasty in the mean time,

and knowing women, don't open up about it, as she wont forget it............

[Morgan]

Think of the kids

if they like her and she is good for them, chances are she is great, but how you feel about yourself is masking that.

kids are a better judge of people than adults as they are not jaded

You should come out of it, but don't be hasty in the mean time,

and knowing women, don't open up about it, as she wont forget it............

Good sound advice Doc.

[chester copperpot]

Think of the kids

if they like her and she is good for them, chances are she is great, but how you feel about yourself is masking that.

kids are a better judge of people than adults as they are not jaded

You should come out of it, but don't be hasty in the mean time,

and knowing women, don't open up about it, as she wont forget it............

 

I told her last night I suffered from it and she was really really sound about it.

 

I didn't mention the way I was feeling about her but telling her was a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

As she is a nurse she is fully aware of the damage mental health can do but telling her was a huge weight off my shoulders. Will give it a couple of weeks and see how I feel then.

 

Oh, and thanks mate :thumbs:

[doctor jambo]

I told her last night I suffered from it and she was really really sound about it.

 

I didn't mention the way I was feeling about her but telling her was a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

As she is a nurse she is fully aware of the damage mental health can do but telling her was a huge weight off my shoulders. Will give it a couple of weeks and see how I feel then.

 

Oh, and thanks mate :thumbs:

People chuck things in far too easily now

Everyone goes through spells of it

it takes work and effort, tolerance and patience

The easy thing often is to walk away

I see it a lot these days and the effects on the kids is devastating

I'm not suggesting everyone stays with someone they are unhappy with

 

BUT

I've  met very few  kids with a behavioural problem who had not been through a parental separation ( the exceptions are experiencing some other horrific trauma- domestic violence/abuse/neglect)

Its akin to a grief reaction/ severe trauma they experience

 

Too many put their own excitement/ libido over the emotional well being of their youngsters

Stick at it - she has given you three years of her life, you owe her some time

 

and give it 2years and your new partner would be just the same!

[hueyview]

Looks like Ant's bosses at ITV are giving him a year's sabbatical

Not many employers would be so sympathetic in the ordinary workplace

A lot of employers would, but could not afford to pay wages for this period. He has a healthy bank balance, not his fault, but it allows him to get better if possible......

 

 

Being poor creates more stress, but rich folk get I'll too......

[hueyview]

Lovely words man.

I'm not chucking the towel in as things are going amazing for me.

I guess that's the issue with depression. It can get you at any time.

Just had a fantastic post created for me at work, got a new car, relationship is solid enough but feeling shite.

Not had much drink lately as when I recognise the symptoms I cut back and beast the gym.

Even that's not helping!

Followed this thread.... A lot of supportive advice...

 

I always remind myself we are all human, we have really bad days....I was on antis for years after I lost my mother..but also smashing times...

 

Good luck mate.....

[J.T.F.Robertson]

People chuck things in far too easily now

Everyone goes through spells of it

it takes work and effort, tolerance and patience

The easy thing often is to walk away

I see it a lot these days and the effects on the kids is devastating

I'm not suggesting everyone stays with someone they are unhappy with

 

BUT

I've  met very few  kids with a behavioural problem who had not been through a parental separation ( the exceptions are experiencing some other horrific trauma- domestic violence/abuse/neglect)

Its akin to a grief reaction/ severe trauma they experience

 

Too many put their own excitement/ libido over the emotional well being of their youngsters

Stick at it - she has given you three years of her life, you owe her some time

 

and give it 2years and your new partner would be just the same!

Your last line often ends up being right on the button, as in expecting that "first rush" to always be.

 

Fantasy!

[Shapes]

Does anyone have any experience of sertraline? I've been on citalopram for just over a year but haven't had a great time recently. On 20mg and docs wanted to up it to 30mg. Tried and it was making me really spaced out so went back down to the 20mg. That wasn't helping and my anxiety was getting really bad again so they're trying me out on sertraline. I'm down to 10mg of citalopram for a week then start 50mg of sertraline.

[pharmaceutical01]

Standard reducing dose before switching... Problem is that you will probably feel more anxious for the first couple of weeks after the switch cos of side-effects... Hope it goes well bud

 

Sent from my F5121 using Tapatalk

[Gizmo]

Does anyone have any experience of sertraline? I've been on citalopram for just over a year but haven't had a great time recently. On 20mg and docs wanted to up it to 30mg. Tried and it was making me really spaced out so went back down to the 20mg. That wasn't helping and my anxiety was getting really bad again so they're trying me out on sertraline. I'm down to 10mg of citalopram for a week then start 50mg of sertraline.

Have you had any CBT or similar for anxiety? Worked better for me than citalopram (prozac worked but was too zombie-fying). 

[rossaldinho]

Does anyone have any experience of sertraline? I've been on citalopram for just over a year but haven't had a great time recently. On 20mg and docs wanted to up it to 30mg. Tried and it was making me really spaced out so went back down to the 20mg. That wasn't helping and my anxiety was getting really bad again so they're trying me out on sertraline. I'm down to 10mg of citalopram for a week then start 50mg of sertraline.

I went through about 5 different medications before I started on sertraline. It's the only one that has worked and I've been on it since November last year. It's worked absolute wonders for me.

[martoon]

Does anyone have any experience of sertraline? I've been on citalopram for just over a year but haven't had a great time recently. On 20mg and docs wanted to up it to 30mg. Tried and it was making me really spaced out so went back down to the 20mg. That wasn't helping and my anxiety was getting really bad again so they're trying me out on sertraline. I'm down to 10mg of citalopram for a week then start 50mg of sertraline.

The washing out period can be difficult but switching to Sertraline was a great move for me. Even with the initial low dose of 50mg things felt better, even more so when it went to 100 then 150.

 

Everyone's different but I've experienced no "spacing out" or any obvious side effects.

 

All the best, bud.

[Col1874]

I was on Sertraline and it worked well for around 10 months or so.

 

Down sides for me were:

 

* Difficulty concentrating at work

* Fatigue - With no warning I'd get extreme tiredness

* Extreme weight gain (3st in 6 months)

 

 

It got to the stage that it stopped working and my GP agreed that there was little point in continuing with it, so good knows what I do now.

 

I've actually felt happier since stopping, my work rate has increased and I'm not as tired as I was.

[Brick Tamland]

I had a real messy divorce (100% none of it my doing) and my ex was extremely vitriolic in her abuse and lies, none of this bothered me at all and I didn't rise to any of it despite some of it being absolutely horrendous.

I was fortunate to have fantastic support from family and friends and moved in to a lovely flat at Morningside and a good job, so had a lot on my side and way more than most would have under similar circumstances.

What was killing me was missing my kids. 

I have no problem writing here that on many, many occasions, I was crumpled up in a ball on the floor completely breaking my heart at missing my kids, real heart sore pain. Not being able to see them or touch them or smell them or hear them was destroying me and I went to some dark, dark places inside of me, real dark places. Looking deep into my own soul to see what was there.

I'd manage to pull things together for work and when I saw the kids but the rest of the time I was a complete wreck and at times couldn?t see the point of going on, my kids were my life and not seeing them was destroying me. 

I gained a bit more inner strength, honestly not sure from where other than not wanting to let my kids down, and the dark days became a bit less dark and family and friends were just amazing at listening, I didn?t speak to them about the dark places though and I knew I needed other help.

The Samaritans were great at listening especially in the middle of the night when there was no-one else to talk to and the pain of missing them was overwhelming, but that wasn?t enough. I eventually broke down at work and was referred to a mental health professional and she was brilliant, made me understand why I was feeling how I was and what I could do to help myself and that it was normal to have these feelings and helped me with coping mechanisms. 

Dropping my youngest off at school on a Tuesday after having him for the weekend were particularly tough, Every time I did it he would be in and out the car a couple of times hugging me and telling me he loved me and every time he was out of sight I cried, proper tears knowing I wouldn?t see him for 10 days unless we had a home game. This lasted for over 5 years, 5 years of tears every second Tuesday. Its only 2 years ago it stopped but writing this brings it all back and I?m struggling with the emotion now.

Was I depressed, yes I was. I avoided medication but sought out counselling and really wish I?d done that sooner, just talking to a neutral person who could talk me through what I was feeling and giving me coping mechanisms was a massive help and gave me so much strength.

I?m all good now and anyone going through any level of mental health illness should get the appropriate help they need and I?m more than happy to talk to and support any Jambos on here about things, anonymity is a great thing when offloading.

One of my mates, in similar circumstances to me kept it hidden really well, and I mean really well. There were a few of us due to go on a boys weekend to Spain but he pulled out at the last minute, on returning I was saddened and shocked and angry by the news he took his own life. 

If anyone on here is struggling don?t hide it, please reach out to someone you?ll be surprised at how much they?ll want to help, even me, a kickback arsehole (well that?s who it?s for isn?t it?) 

[York Ninja]

I've been on and off anti-depressants for 15 years now. When I had my last bad spell 18 mpnths ago, I was put on fluoxetine which had worked in the past. Didn't work this time so was put on Sertaline 100mg. Haven't looked back since. It may be the placebo effect but I'm in a good place at the moment. It's trying to recognise the warning signs that the black dog is round the corner. For me,its snapping at people (going radge), beign tired all the time, not sleeping well and massive lack of appetite. For me, sertraline just takes the edge of depression (more chilled out, more outgoing, eating a lot and sleeping well).

 

Counselling helped me a lot. Basically I'm quite a shy fellow cos I don't like conflict due to the fights my big sis and my mum had with each other. So it's all my sister's and my mum's fault (only joking). I actually think May 1986 had a profound effect on the 10 year old me as well - whenever something is going well for me, I'm always looking for the negatives.

 

Don't sweat the small stuff (easier said than done)

Keep yourself busy - find a new hobby

Don't shut yourself away - your friends are the ones you can count on in a crisis.

 

Take care of yourselves and each other

 

Ninj

Don't shut yourself away

[pharmaceutical01]

I had a real messy divorce (100% none of it my doing) and my ex was extremely vitriolic in her abuse and lies, none of this bothered me at all and I didn't rise to any of it despite some of it being absolutely horrendous.

I was fortunate to have fantastic support from family and friends and moved in to a lovely flat at Morningside and a good job, so had a lot on my side and way more than most would have under similar circumstances.

What was killing me was missing my kids.

I have no problem writing here that on many, many occasions, I was crumpled up in a ball on the floor completely breaking my heart at missing my kids, real heart sore pain. Not being able to see them or touch them or smell them or hear them was destroying me and I went to some dark, dark places inside of me, real dark places. Looking deep into my own soul to see what was there.

I'd manage to pull things together for work and when I saw the kids but the rest of the time I was a complete wreck and at times couldn?t see the point of going on, my kids were my life and not seeing them was destroying me.

I gained a bit more inner strength, honestly not sure from where other than not wanting to let my kids down, and the dark days became a bit less dark and family and friends were just amazing at listening, I didn?t speak to them about the dark places though and I knew I needed other help.

The Samaritans were great at listening especially in the middle of the night when there was no-one else to talk to and the pain of missing them was overwhelming, but that wasn?t enough. I eventually broke down at work and was referred to a mental health professional and she was brilliant, made me understand why I was feeling how I was and what I could do to help myself and that it was normal to have these feelings and helped me with coping mechanisms.

Dropping my youngest off at school on a Tuesday after having him for the weekend were particularly tough, Every time I did it he would be in and out the car a couple of times hugging me and telling me he loved me and every time he was out of sight I cried, proper tears knowing I wouldn?t see him for 10 days unless we had a home game. This lasted for over 5 years, 5 years of tears every second Tuesday. Its only 2 years ago it stopped but writing this brings it all back and I?m struggling with the emotion now.

Was I depressed, yes I was. I avoided medication but sought out counselling and really wish I?d done that sooner, just talking to a neutral person who could talk me through what I was feeling and giving me coping mechanisms was a massive help and gave me so much strength.

I?m all good now and anyone going through any level of mental health illness should get the appropriate help they need and I?m more than happy to talk to and support any Jambos on here about things, anonymity is a great thing when offloading.

One of my mates, in similar circumstances to me kept it hidden really well, and I mean really well. There were a few of us due to go on a boys weekend to Spain but he pulled out at the last minute, on returning I was saddened and shocked and angry by the news he took his own life.

If anyone on here is struggling don?t hide it, please reach out to someone you?ll be surprised at how much they?ll want to help, even me, a kickback arsehole (well that?s who it?s for isn?t it?)

Good post, mate. Men are particularly bad at communicating their feelings but repressing them can just store up trouble. We are kickback arseholes, btw.

 

Sent from my F5121 using Tapatalk

[Slevinkelevra]

So thought i would give this a wee bump. Finally bit the bullet and went back to the doctors, been given fluoxetine, totally struggling, out of work since january and although i have had plenty interviews i have never been able to get out of the house to go to them. Hoping these tablets pick me up. Still dont know how to tell my parents, seems sad considering im a 37 year old man, still feel ashamed about it all. Stuck in a rut completely, questioning my life and the mistakes i have made and now feel like there is no hope for me at my age.

[Morgan]

So thought i would give this a wee bump. Finally bit the bullet and went back to the doctors, been given fluoxetine, totally struggling, out of work since january and although i have had plenty interviews i have never been able to get out of the house to go to them. Hoping these tablets pick me up. Still dont know how to tell my parents, seems sad considering im a 37 year old man, still feel ashamed about it all. Stuck in a rut completely, questioning my life and the mistakes i have made and now feel like there is no hope for me at my age.

37 is not exactly old.

[Jamboelite]

So thought i would give this a wee bump. Finally bit the bullet and went back to the doctors, been given fluoxetine, totally struggling, out of work since january and although i have had plenty interviews i have never been able to get out of the house to go to them. Hoping these tablets pick me up. Still dont know how to tell my parents, seems sad considering im a 37 year old man, still feel ashamed about it all. Stuck in a rut completely, questioning my life and the mistakes i have made and now feel like there is no hope for me at my age.

People have changed entire careers and lived completely different lives at far later ages than 37, so never too late.

 

The most important thing is to try and talk to someone about it and take it one day at a time and one step at a time.

 

Good luck

Edited September 17, 2017 by Jamboelite

[Jeff]

So thought i would give this a wee bump. Finally bit the bullet and went back to the doctors, been given fluoxetine, totally struggling, out of work since january and although i have had plenty interviews i have never been able to get out of the house to go to them. Hoping these tablets pick me up. Still dont know how to tell my parents, seems sad considering im a 37 year old man, still feel ashamed about it all. Stuck in a rut completely, questioning my life and the mistakes i have made and now feel like there is no hope for me at my age.

 

You're still young mate. Get out there and find something you love

 

the past is the past

[Col1874]

I totally understand the comment about being 37 years old. People tend to confuse having a mental health condition with just being 'immature'.

 

There are too many ignorant arseholes out there.

[Col1874]

Here's a question to those of you who have suffered depression in the past and no longer take medication for it:

 

How many of you consider yourself to be "back to normal" ?

 

The reason I ask, is I am no longer on any anti-depresssnts, I don't feel down like I used to, I'm not as critical of myself and I'm doing fine at work.

 

One thing that hasn't returned though is my interest in doing things. When it's the weekend, I really dislike going out, I'd rather be at home. When at home however, I am just bored, i struggle to find something on TV that interests me and I really have no interest in doing anything else.

 

The bright side as mentioned above is that the really bad stuff has gone but I really am bored with life.

[Der Kaiser]

So thought i would give this a wee bump. Finally bit the bullet and went back to the doctors, been given fluoxetine, totally struggling, out of work since january and although i have had plenty interviews i have never been able to get out of the house to go to them. Hoping these tablets pick me up. Still dont know how to tell my parents, seems sad considering im a 37 year old man, still feel ashamed about it all. Stuck in a rut completely, questioning my life and the mistakes i have made and now feel like there is no hope for me at my age.

Start talking to family or friends. It's tough to make that first step (and I speak from experience) but once you start you'll probably not shut up....and I mean that in a good way.

 

And remember your pills can take a few weeks before they really kick in. Don't feel bad about taking them. I'm still on them (3 years now).