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chester copperpot

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Just a wee update from yours truly. 

 

Unfortunately i have had a bit of a relapse. I have been off work since mid-March and back on the meds (Setraline)

 

Not only has the depression returned but i am now having panic attacks every now and then (one at the Hearts auction and one very recently at Edinburgh Airport security). Anxiety and depression are linked though so understandable i guess.

 

A bit of a nightmare but i have beaten it before and will do so again. I had not been on JKB or FB for months until tonight (some of you will be glad of that i reckon :lol:), can't be arsed even opening my laptop. But we got a dog recently and have purchased a bike so getting plenty of exercise which my GP is delighted about.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Seriously going round in circles here.

 

Back to feeling miserable every day, I don't want to talk to anyone at work and only speak if I'm spoken to, other people talking annoys me so much that I just put my headphones in.

 

Seriously fed up of this pathetic thing which people call "life".

 

Honestly struggling to get any joy from life, yet I'm married to a loving wife, I have the best kids, my own flat, a nice car, steady income and so on, so what the hell is wrong with me?!? I feel like something just doesn't want me to be happy yet I have the foundations of happiness right in front of me.

 

GP can't help, tried almost every medication out there up to high doses, Counseling and other stuff with only short term benefits. They keep trying to send me to see a  psychiatrist but I know I couldn't be honest if I seen someone and I can't help but put a 'happy' front on when anyone mentions my past, so there's very little point in me wasting their valuable time.

 

Sorry, can't help but rant about how fed up I am with everything :(

 

Edited by Col1874
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3 hours ago, Col1874 said:

Sorry, can't help but rant about how fed up I am with everything :(

 

Mate, that's just what the thread is for, don't sweat it.  I have no advice, can only offer you empathy as I know exactly how you feel and that it's the most frustrating thing in the world.  I will say this: You can beat your need to "put on a happy face" to everyone and that may be a key to improving.  You'll never know till you try.

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3 hours ago, Col1874 said:

Seriously going round in circles here.

 

Back to feeling miserable every day, I don't want to talk to anyone at work and only speak if I'm spoken to, other people talking annoys me so much that I just put my headphones in.

 

Seriously fed up of this pathetic thing which people call "life".

 

Honestly struggling to get any joy from life, yet I'm married to a loving wife, I have the best kids, my own flat, a nice car, steady income and so on, so what the hell is wrong with me?!? I feel like something just doesn't want me to be happy yet I have the foundations of happiness right in front of me.

 

GP can't help, tried almost every medication out there up to high doses, Counseling and other stuff with only short term benefits. They keep trying to send me to see a  psychiatrist but I know I couldn't be honest if I seen someone and I can't help but put a 'happy' front on when anyone mentions my past, so there's very little point in me wasting their valuable time.

 

Sorry, can't help but rant about how fed up I am with everything :(

 

 

Maybe being honest and not putting on a happy front with a psychiatrist would break the negative cycle. I'm sure they've seen people in your situation before and helping you out of it is what they've spent years training to do.

 

Good luck either way.

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3 hours ago, Col1874 said:

Seriously going round in circles here.

 

Back to feeling miserable every day, I don't want to talk to anyone at work and only speak if I'm spoken to, other people talking annoys me so much that I just put my headphones in.

 

Seriously fed up of this pathetic thing which people call "life".

 

Honestly struggling to get any joy from life, yet I'm married to a loving wife, I have the best kids, my own flat, a nice car, steady income and so on, so what the hell is wrong with me?!? I feel like something just doesn't want me to be happy yet I have the foundations of happiness right in front of me.

 

GP can't help, tried almost every medication out there up to high doses, Counseling and other stuff with only short term benefits. They keep trying to send me to see a  psychiatrist but I know I couldn't be honest if I seen someone and I can't help but put a 'happy' front on when anyone mentions my past, so there's very little point in me wasting their valuable time.

 

Sorry, can't help but rant about how fed up I am with everything :(

 

 

Give the psychiatrist a go mate. Like you say, you've got the foundations of happiness and a good life there, they'll be able to help you with whatever is getting to you and hopefully you can move onwards and upwards.

 

If you ever need to talk about things just drop me a pm anytime

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On 31/10/2017 at 18:06, Col1874 said:

Seriously going round in circles here.

 

Back to feeling miserable every day, I don't want to talk to anyone at work and only speak if I'm spoken to, other people talking annoys me so much that I just put my headphones in.

 

Seriously fed up of this pathetic thing which people call "life".

 

Honestly struggling to get any joy from life, yet I'm married to a loving wife, I have the best kids, my own flat, a nice car, steady income and so on, so what the hell is wrong with me?!? I feel like something just doesn't want me to be happy yet I have the foundations of happiness right in front of me.

 

GP can't help, tried almost every medication out there up to high doses, Counseling and other stuff with only short term benefits. They keep trying to send me to see a  psychiatrist but I know I couldn't be honest if I seen someone and I can't help but put a 'happy' front on when anyone mentions my past, so there's very little point in me wasting their valuable time.

 

Sorry, can't help but rant about how fed up I am with everything :(

 

 

I think the comments you make about seeing a psychiatrist and not being honest about your past is actually quite telling mate and i would give it a go as you have nothing to lose in letting your guard down.

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John Gentleman
On 18/09/2017 at 03:22, Col1874 said:

Here's a question to those of you who have suffered depression in the past and no longer take medication for it:

 

How many of you consider yourself to be "back to normal" ?

 

The reason I ask, is I am no longer on any anti-depresssnts, I don't feel down like I used to, I'm not as critical of myself and I'm doing fine at work.

 

One thing that hasn't returned though is my interest in doing things. When it's the weekend, I really dislike going out, I'd rather be at home. When at home however, I am just bored, i struggle to find something on TV that interests me and I really have no interest in doing anything else.

 

The bright side as mentioned above is that the really bad stuff has gone but I really am bored with life.

 

On 01/11/2017 at 04:36, Col1874 said:

Seriously going round in circles here.

 

Back to feeling miserable every day, I don't want to talk to anyone at work and only speak if I'm spoken to, other people talking annoys me so much that I just put my headphones in.

 

Seriously fed up of this pathetic thing which people call "life".

 

Honestly struggling to get any joy from life, yet I'm married to a loving wife, I have the best kids, my own flat, a nice car, steady income and so on, so what the hell is wrong with me?!? I feel like something just doesn't want me to be happy yet I have the foundations of happiness right in front of me.

 

GP can't help, tried almost every medication out there up to high doses, Counseling and other stuff with only short term benefits. They keep trying to send me to see a  psychiatrist but I know I couldn't be honest if I seen someone and I can't help but put a 'happy' front on when anyone mentions my past, so there's very little point in me wasting their valuable time.

 

Sorry, can't help but rant about how fed up I am with everything :(

 

I think some us, Col, are just a wee bit 'hard wired' to be the way you are – and I'd include myself in that cohort. I've always considered myself 'social' but at the same time didn't go out seeking 'sociability', if that makes any sense. I sort of waited for things to happen rather than make things happen. Not surprisingly, this leads to a state of self-imposed isolation which becomes entrenched. The 'comfort blanket' is that, by doing nothing, you've not exposed yourself to any risk. If you haven't tried something, you can't fail at it, right? 

 

Like you, I've been on the not-so-merry-go-round of pills and doctors too. Add to that psychiatrists who, in my opinion, are  bloody hopeless – they'll just dish out a prescription for the latest and greatest cure-all pill which doesn't work. The reason medication doesn't work for you (and didn't for me) is that you don't need it. You're just going through a bump in your life where your personality type – the very essence of who you are – isn't working in your favour. I'd recommend seeking out an experienced psychologist, ie, not some young thing straight out of Uni. You might have to strike out a few until you find someone you feel comfortable with, but in my experience you've got to be pretty assertive with this aspect. Once you've found that person, you've got to be thoroughly candid with him (yes, him). If you 'fudge' it, he won't have a reference point to work from and all will be for nought. It won't be an active/passive relationship (counselling?), it'll be a working partnership. That person won't seek to change who you are, but you'll learn a raft of skills to manage where you are (psychologically). You mentioned the 'past' in your second post. Believe me, there's nothing you can tell an experienced psychologist that he hasn't heard before (unless it involves serious criminality). Just let it out. Nobody, absolutely nobody, has a stellar 'past'.

 

While I'm here, can I just debunk this 'pursuit of happiness' concept? It's a myth. Always has been. No-one can be 'happy' all of the time – not even a small percentage of the time. Happiness is a fleeting and transient emotion; real life takes up the rest of your time. It's how you handle the latter that leads to contentment or dismay. I think we (and society) would all be the better if we aimed for contentment rather than the ever-elusive state of 'happiness'.

 

All the best to you. It takes a bit of work, but it's worth it.

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Blackford Hearts

When I was referred to a psychologist several years ago I was highly sceptical. I wasn't on medication but didn't like who I was. I was depressed. At the first session she said that her role was to get inside my mind and find things that even I didn't know about myself. At the time I was thinking 'no chance' but she did, the treatment worked, and I like myself much of the time now. It was a revelation.

Like others have said I had to ditch negative influences (mostly people) in my life but I don't miss them and I don't miss the old me. 

Good luck to anyone on the journey. Talking therapy definitely helps

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  • 4 months later...

My anxiety is going through the roof as of late. The only time I properly feel relaxed is when I'm by myself in my own house. If I'm at work, out shopping and even at the football these days I feel light headed, my legs turn to jelly which makes me think I'm losing balance constantly so I have to quickly move to a chair or somewhere where I can lean, I get sweaty as I begin to worry that something really bad is about to happen (even though I feel the same feelings daily, I still worry that this attack is the end), my breathing also goes funny causing me to constantly swallow and jolt for breaths. It's got to a point where I struggle to have a conversation with someone without these feelings coming on even when I know there's nothing to worry about. 

 

As I mentioned above it's beginning to happen daily and I can't even do the simplest of things without it kick starting and that in turn is getting me quite upset as I know I can do these things but I'm doubting myself now and I'm worried about how far this will go. 

 

Tried for a GP appointment and it's constantly full? Can't even get a saturday appointment which is stressing me out further. I know it's not the NHS's fault due to cuts etc but being told to phone every day for an appointment just to be told sorry really is doing my head in

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2 hours ago, Jeff said:

My anxiety is going through the roof as of late. The only time I properly feel relaxed is when I'm by myself in my own house. If I'm at work, out shopping and even at the football these days I feel light headed, my legs turn to jelly which makes me think I'm losing balance constantly so I have to quickly move to a chair or somewhere where I can lean, I get sweaty as I begin to worry that something really bad is about to happen (even though I feel the same feelings daily, I still worry that this attack is the end), my breathing also goes funny causing me to constantly swallow and jolt for breaths. It's got to a point where I struggle to have a conversation with someone without these feelings coming on even when I know there's nothing to worry about. 

 

As I mentioned above it's beginning to happen daily and I can't even do the simplest of things without it kick starting and that in turn is getting me quite upset as I know I can do these things but I'm doubting myself now and I'm worried about how far this will go. 

 

Tried for a GP appointment and it's constantly full? Can't even get a saturday appointment which is stressing me out further. I know it's not the NHS's fault due to cuts etc but being told to phone every day for an appointment just to be told sorry really is doing my head in

Jeff?

 

just read your post, so sorry things are not good for you.

 

You have mentioned anxiety on the depression thread. 

 

Are these two things connected? I genuinely don’t know and have googled it without gaining a decent answer.

 

All the best to you mate, really hope you get through this.

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2 hours ago, Jeff said:

My anxiety is going through the roof as of late. The only time I properly feel relaxed is when I'm by myself in my own house. If I'm at work, out shopping and even at the football these days I feel light headed, my legs turn to jelly which makes me think I'm losing balance constantly so I have to quickly move to a chair or somewhere where I can lean, I get sweaty as I begin to worry that something really bad is about to happen (even though I feel the same feelings daily, I still worry that this attack is the end), my breathing also goes funny causing me to constantly swallow and jolt for breaths. It's got to a point where I struggle to have a conversation with someone without these feelings coming on even when I know there's nothing to worry about. 

 

As I mentioned above it's beginning to happen daily and I can't even do the simplest of things without it kick starting and that in turn is getting me quite upset as I know I can do these things but I'm doubting myself now and I'm worried about how far this will go. 

 

Tried for a GP appointment and it's constantly full? Can't even get a saturday appointment which is stressing me out further. I know it's not the NHS's fault due to cuts etc but being told to phone every day for an appointment just to be told sorry really is doing my head in

 

Jeff is there something particular in your life that is worrying you at the moment. I ask solely because I had a recent health problem  one of the things I was advised was to monitor my blood pressure, and to get a home monitor.  I did and it was the biggest mistake of my life, I was getting high high readings, and it stressed me out.  I did get to the GP and she advised me to take the monitor back to where I got it, that was after she had my BP checked, then used mine and it was way high, the monitor was the one that was f....d not me. Almost immediately all my anxiety and stress disappeared. I don't know if this is of any help, but as they say about problems you will never solve it until you find the true problem.

All the best, and hang in, life is full of tests, and most of them we can pass.

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35 minutes ago, bobsharp said:

 

Jeff is there something particular in your life that is worrying you at the moment. I ask solely because I had a recent health problem  one of the things I was advised was to monitor my blood pressure, and to get a home monitor.  I did and it was the biggest mistake of my life, I was getting high high readings, and it stressed me out.  I did get to the GP and she advised me to take the monitor back to where I got it, that was after she had my BP checked, then used mine and it was way high, the monitor was the one that was f....d not me. Almost immediately all my anxiety and stress disappeared. I don't know if this is of any help, but as they say about problems you will never solve it until you find the true problem.

All the best, and hang in, life is full of tests, and most of them we can pass.

 

Hi Bob, I dont have any physical health issues that I know of and I haven't really been worrying about anything like that either. I wish I knew what caused my anxiety but the problem is that it kicks off at random points in random places - mostly work but the strange thing there is that I wouldnt say I was under pressure there or getting stressed out.

 

Cheers for the kind words guys

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9 minutes ago, Jeff said:

 

Hi Bob, I dont have any physical health issues that I know of and I haven't really been worrying about anything like that either. I wish I knew what caused my anxiety but the problem is that it kicks off at random points in random places - mostly work but the strange thing there is that I wouldnt say I was under pressure there or getting stressed out.

 

Cheers for the kind words guys

Sent you a PM

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6 hours ago, Jeff said:

My anxiety is going through the roof as of late. The only time I properly feel relaxed is when I'm by myself in my own house. If I'm at work, out shopping and even at the football these days I feel light headed, my legs turn to jelly which makes me think I'm losing balance constantly so I have to quickly move to a chair or somewhere where I can lean, I get sweaty as I begin to worry that something really bad is about to happen (even though I feel the same feelings daily, I still worry that this attack is the end), my breathing also goes funny causing me to constantly swallow and jolt for breaths. It's got to a point where I struggle to have a conversation with someone without these feelings coming on even when I know there's nothing to worry about. 

 

As I mentioned above it's beginning to happen daily and I can't even do the simplest of things without it kick starting and that in turn is getting me quite upset as I know I can do these things but I'm doubting myself now and I'm worried about how far this will go. 

 

Tried for a GP appointment and it's constantly full? Can't even get a saturday appointment which is stressing me out further. I know it's not the NHS's fault due to cuts etc but being told to phone every day for an appointment just to be told sorry really is doing my head in

 

This is just my personal experience, but I had panic attacks for a while. In the end, acupuncture did the trick for me in getting rid of them (I don't have them any more), but one thing I read during that period which I put to good use was the advice to accept the panic attack when it happened, to embrace it and go along for the ride. Before I started doing that, I would panic because I knew was having a panic attack, or likely to have one, and then fight tooth and nail against it when it was happening, and that would make things worse. :) Anyway, that advice helped me. 

Edited by redjambo
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Medication question.

 

What's the longest folk have been on happy pills.

 

I'm now at three years and I don't know enough about whether there's a down side to that.

 

In all honesty, most days I feel good. Really good. They've been a very positive influence on me from a time when I was as low as you could get. I sometimes worry that the person I am isn't the real me, it's me plus pills.

And the problem with that is I like me. Rewind four years ago and I hated that version. Moody, short tempered, sad, impatient etc etc. I was a prick.

 

But now I like who I am. I've got a very stressful job but I love it. Don't take life seriously (which is apparent from 99% of my posts on here). Now I'm a nice prick.

 

Will I have to take the first step to being pill free or will a doctor one day say that my repeat prescription is being reduced?

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9 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

Medication question.

 

What's the longest folk have been on happy pills.

 

I'm now at three years and I don't know enough about whether there's a down side to that.

 

In all honesty, most days I feel good. Really good. They've been a very positive influence on me from a time when I was as low as you could get. I sometimes worry that the person I am isn't the real me, it's me plus pills.

And the problem with that is I like me. Rewind four years ago and I hated that version. Moody, short tempered, sad, impatient etc etc. I was a prick.

 

But now I like who I am. I've got a very stressful job but I love it. Don't take life seriously (which is apparent from 99% of my posts on here). Now I'm a nice prick.

 

Will I have to take the first step to being pill free or will a doctor one day say that my repeat prescription is being reduced?

 

I have been off and on for probably over 12 years.

 

They work for me, sometimes I just let my prescrption run out and just go for a few months without, but usually after 3 months I start to feel less sociable, the lights in the house seem a little darker and my confidence gets low.

 

I think I will probably be taking them for most of my life, I don't really get side effects except sweating a little easy and they make life much more enjoyable for me. It seems as though I will just stick with them until it's no longer viable.

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15 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

Medication question.

 

What's the longest folk have been on happy pills.

 

I'm now at three years and I don't know enough about whether there's a down side to that.

 

In all honesty, most days I feel good. Really good. They've been a very positive influence on me from a time when I was as low as you could get. I sometimes worry that the person I am isn't the real me, it's me plus pills.

And the problem with that is I like me. Rewind four years ago and I hated that version. Moody, short tempered, sad, impatient etc etc. I was a prick.

 

But now I like who I am. I've got a very stressful job but I love it. Don't take life seriously (which is apparent from 99% of my posts on here). Now I'm a nice prick.

 

Will I have to take the first step to being pill free or will a doctor one day say that my repeat prescription is being reduced?

I went on them in 2014 (or early 15), gradually increasing dosage every now and again, which I assume is because I built tolerance (not to mention life shitting on me repeatedly). Last year after a reconciliation with the old man, which was probably an underlying issue, he told me I should come off them and that I could beat it myself. 

 

I came off them and these days, I feel worse than I ever have. Have had full on fits of rage at work (I work with absolute numbskulls), can't seem to hold down my relationship anymore and frequently try to leave, snap easily at my kids (4&1).

 

Now for me personally I should never have come off them because I'd tried it before and it didn't work. Went to a new doctor as I'd moved house and explained I was never officially brought off them but was still told I had to do counselling and that under no circumstances would she put me back on same meds. 

 

Sorry for the long post man, got a tad caught up in the story. Hopefully whatever you choose to do is the right thing for you! 

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On 3/11/2018 at 20:59, redjambo said:

 

This is just my personal experience, but I had panic attacks for a while. In the end, acupuncture did the trick for me in getting rid of them (I don't have them any more), but one thing I read during that period which I put to good use was the advice to accept the panic attack when it happened, to embrace it and go along for the ride. Before I started doing that, I would panic because I knew was having a panic attack, or likely to have one, and then fight tooth and nail against it when it was happening, and that would make things worse. :) Anyway, that advice helped me. 

 

That's how I deal with mine. Once it's started, there's not a lot you can do about it. It's more a case if telling you that it's just your brain playing tricks on you. 

 

The mind.org website has a great pdf advice leaflet you can download. I keep it on my phone to read whenever I feel one about to hit. The link is below. Another thing I try that my mum taught me - concentrate on your senses. Try and identify one thing you can taste, two things you can smell, three things you can touch, four things you can hear, and five things you can see. It's not as easy as it sounds, and can help take your mind off what it (wrongly) thinks is happening to you. 

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/media/1892482/mind_anxiety_panic_web.pdf

 

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1 hour ago, trotter said:

 

That's how I deal with mine. Once it's started, there's not a lot you can do about it. It's more a case if telling you that it's just your brain playing tricks on you. 

 

The mind.org website has a great pdf advice leaflet you can download. I keep it on my phone to read whenever I feel one about to hit. The link is below. Another thing I try that my mum taught me - concentrate on your senses. Try and identify one thing you can taste, two things you can smell, three things you can touch, four things you can hear, and five things you can see. It's not as easy as it sounds, and can help take your mind off what it (wrongly) thinks is happening to you. 

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/media/1892482/mind_anxiety_panic_web.pdf

 

 

That's a good resource - I've downloaded it so that I can have it handy if any of the people I know or meet experience anxiety attacks. Thanks trotter. :)

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3 hours ago, redjambo said:

 

That's a good resource - I've downloaded it so that I can have it handy if any of the people I know or meet experience anxiety attacks. Thanks trotter. :)

:thumb:

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1 hour ago, Morgan said:

So lads, are anxiety and depression linked or are they two separate entities?

 

Not too sure if they are intrinsically linked, but I can definitely vouch for one anxiety/panic attacks leading to feelings of depression. Not wanting to go out for fear of having attacks etc.

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13 minutes ago, trotter said:

 

Not too sure if they are intrinsically linked, but I can definitely vouch for one anxiety/panic attacks leading to feelings of depression. Not wanting to go out for fear of having attacks etc.

Thank you.

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Depression has ruined my work life. It comes and goes like you wouldn't believe and I feel like I'm no longer trusted by my manager.

 

I'm one of the most experienced in my team with 13 years of financial services knowledge in my particular field, yet I'm not trusted to carry out quality checking and training new starts like I used to before the year 2012 when the depression got serious.

 

It's  like I've been given a defective employee label which won't go away unless I move to another company. 

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Arthur Morgan
7 hours ago, Morgan said:

So lads, are anxiety and depression linked or are they two separate entities?

Very much linked.

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12 hours ago, Thommo414 said:

I went on them in 2014 (or early 15), gradually increasing dosage every now and again, which I assume is because I built tolerance (not to mention life shitting on me repeatedly). Last year after a reconciliation with the old man, which was probably an underlying issue, he told me I should come off them and that I could beat it myself. 

 

I came off them and these days, I feel worse than I ever have. Have had full on fits of rage at work (I work with absolute numbskulls), can't seem to hold down my relationship anymore and frequently try to leave, snap easily at my kids (4&1).

 

Now for me personally I should never have come off them because I'd tried it before and it didn't work. Went to a new doctor as I'd moved house and explained I was never officially brought off them but was still told I had to do counselling and that under no circumstances would she put me back on same meds. 

 

Sorry for the long post man, got a tad caught up in the story. Hopefully whatever you choose to do is the right thing for you! 

 

Go to another doctor, if they were working for you, you should not have to suffer man. 

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10 hours ago, Morgan said:

So lads, are anxiety and depression linked or are they two separate entities?

One is before the next Hearts game.   The other is after the game.

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3 minutes ago, Victorian said:

One is before the next Hearts game.   The other is after the game.

Tremendous V. :robbo:

 

 

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8 hours ago, trotter said:

 

Not too sure if they are intrinsically linked, but I can definitely vouch for one anxiety/panic attacks leading to feelings of depression. Not wanting to go out for fear of having attacks etc.

 

My anxietys only really picked up the last few years and some days it really can get to you. The other day I just kept bursting into tears thinking how its getting to me. Hopefully get it sorted before depression ends up becoming a bigger issue for me

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10 hours ago, dsk1210 said:

 

Go to another doctor, if they were working for you, you should not have to suffer man. 

I've certainly started to look into it. Obviously that encounter has left me quite apprehensive, I bit my tongue then  went mental when I left the surgery that day, don't think I'd be able to show the same restraint again if another doc told me that 

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I was recently put on an anti cholesterol medication one of the side effects is anxiety. I also have to do regular blood pressure readings, what a Catch 22, the anxiety pumps up my BP which increases my anxiety, I tell you it takes some strong counselling to self to get through the crap.  Fortunately I have a strong wife who convincdes me I am O.K.

 

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J.T.F.Robertson

I believe I have what they term "white coat syndrome", whereby my anxiety / blood pressure increases in the presence of medical folk. ("cowardice", is the name I'd give it :( )

Anyway, a few years ago when this anxiety thing first hit they put me on medication to lower my supposedly high BP. A couple of days of being on it and I did an el collapso due to that medication and was telt to give it a body swerve.

 

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AlphonseCapone
On 3/12/2018 at 01:59, redjambo said:

 

This is just my personal experience, but I had panic attacks for a while. In the end, acupuncture did the trick for me in getting rid of them (I don't have them any more), but one thing I read during that period which I put to good use was the advice to accept the panic attack when it happened, to embrace it and go along for the ride. Before I started doing that, I would panic because I knew was having a panic attack, or likely to have one, and then fight tooth and nail against it when it was happening, and that would make things worse. :) Anyway, that advice helped me. 

 

I've only recently had a couple of panic attacks after suffering from anxiety for as long as I can remember. It used to be social anxiety mainly and I went through a phase of skipping school so I didn't have to do presentations in front of class etc. Got a bit better as I got older and went to uni and I do a lot of things that make me feel uncomfortable beforehand but I still choose to pull out of things a decent amount.

 

The last 5 years it has all been health anxiety. Convincing myself I have X,  Y and Z. Death is going to be soon etc.  So hard to break the thought process. Even last night I woke up with pins and needles in both arms and went from heart issues to MS and nerve issues. Only got 3 hours sleep before work. I think my fear of illness is related to control issues. 

 

Anyway that was a bit random but decided to post something just to talk about it. The next step is hopefully a counselling service through work when I build up to it. It can be hell on earth living each day like you have some life changing illness just starting to manifest. Then your body joins in and increases the symptoms. 

 

There is a forum and apologies if this is against the rules but it's called 'no more panic' if folk want to Google it. I've never posted on it but reading through the posts of all the other people suffering from something similar or thinking they have the same illness can really help you see that your mind is scarily powerful and many your symptoms can be brought on by your own anxiety. It's worth checking out for anyone suffering with anxiety. 

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On 3/11/2018 at 20:00, Jeff said:

My anxiety is going through the roof as of late. The only time I properly feel relaxed is when I'm by myself in my own house. If I'm at work, out shopping and even at the football these days I feel light headed, my legs turn to jelly which makes me think I'm losing balance constantly so I have to quickly move to a chair or somewhere where I can lean, I get sweaty as I begin to worry that something really bad is about to happen (even though I feel the same feelings daily, I still worry that this attack is the end), my breathing also goes funny causing me to constantly swallow and jolt for breaths. It's got to a point where I struggle to have a conversation with someone without these feelings coming on even when I know there's nothing to worry about. 

 

As I mentioned above it's beginning to happen daily and I can't even do the simplest of things without it kick starting and that in turn is getting me quite upset as I know I can do these things but I'm doubting myself now and I'm worried about how far this will go. 

 

Tried for a GP appointment and it's constantly full? Can't even get a saturday appointment which is stressing me out further. I know it's not the NHS's fault due to cuts etc but being told to phone every day for an appointment just to be told sorry really is doing my head in

 

 

Genuinely inspiring to read the sharing (courage) and support on this thread.  As a society, we're getting better at talking about mental health but there is so much more to be done, particularly amongst men.

 

Jeff, I have some insight into how you are feeling having gone through something similar over 10 years ago. Wouldn't say there was a single thing that I could pin down as root cause but a few things that helped me to better understand and move forward with my life.  Without going into great detail, I overcame the feelings that you mentioned.  Went through a horrible phase where they occurred more and more, which in turn makes you feel more anxious and out of control.   The good news is there are techniques that can help to break the cycle.  I would strongly recommend looking in to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.  If you are logical, it's a brilliant way of helping understand what's going on for you - how we think affects how we feel which in turn affects how we behave.  It's simplicity is powerful, imo it should be taught to kids in schools.

 

One other thing from a very practical point of view.  The symptoms, getting sweaty, light headed and feeling faint can really feel horrific (don't think it's too strong a word).  As you alluded to, it's all related to your breathing.  I'll put money on certain thoughts in certain situations making you anxious.  Your body's way of dealing with it is the classic fight or flight, built into us from primeval times.  Shallow breathing leads to the light headed feeling you mentioned, jelly legs, cold sweats etc, purely because you aren't getting enough oxygen into your bloody supply!   A way of combating the symptoms is through proper breathing (genuinely, this alone is really powerful in giving you control back, believe it or not).  Check out 'diaphragmatic breathing' on the net, by catching yourself when you start to feel the symptoms, you can bring yourself back to your breathing and with a wee bit of practice, you'll feel the symptoms reduce and the associated thoughts lose their power.  

 

Classic CBT would be -

 

In a situation, start to feel a bit anxious, sweaty, shaky, thoughts - "what's wrong with me", "i'm going to collapse", "this is humiliating", in turn you start to feel worse. People talk about fight / flight but there is also the 'freeze' (panic attack) response when put into a seriously anxiety provoking situation - again, we can blame that one on our ancestors!  From a behavioural perspective, in that situation you probably want to get out of the anxiety provoking situation and may well not want to go out so much, as you want to avoid the feeling mentioned.

 

In the above example, if you feel the symptoms, try and focus purely on your breathing.  Clear your mind in the knowledge that above everything else, you can control your breathing and get air into your blood supply.  As I said, research diaphragmatic breathing online, plenty of useful content.  Hopefully you'll notice that the physical symptoms lose their power.  In my experience, when you can get some control here, it's pretty amazing to see how the horror, worst case scenario thoughts are also weakened. 

 

You'd be surprised how common this type of occurrence is.  I ended up becoming a qualified CBT Therapist,  i've seen doctors, heads of departments, really capable people present with the same symptoms and in many cases benefit from simple breathing and if appropriate a CBT intervention.

 

Hopefully the above might give you something to work with and if you need any more info, feel free to pm me.

 

 

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1 hour ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

I've only recently had a couple of panic attacks after suffering from anxiety for as long as I can remember. It used to be social anxiety mainly and I went through a phase of skipping school so I didn't have to do presentations in front of class etc. Got a bit better as I got older and went to uni and I do a lot of things that make me feel uncomfortable beforehand but I still choose to pull out of things a decent amount.

 

The last 5 years it has all been health anxiety. Convincing myself I have X,  Y and Z. Death is going to be soon etc.  So hard to break the thought process. Even last night I woke up with pins and needles in both arms and went from heart issues to MS and nerve issues. Only got 3 hours sleep before work. I think my fear of illness is related to control issues. 

 

Anyway that was a bit random but decided to post something just to talk about it. The next step is hopefully a counselling service through work when I build up to it. It can be hell on earth living each day like you have some life changing illness just starting to manifest. Then your body joins in and increases the symptoms. 

 

There is a forum and apologies if this is against the rules but it's called 'no more panic' if folk want to Google it. I've never posted on it but reading through the posts of all the other people suffering from something similar or thinking they have the same illness can really help you see that your mind is scarily powerful and many your symptoms can be brought on by your own anxiety. It's worth checking out for anyone suffering with anxiety. 

 

Its funny how life can affect you, recently on a thread you face palmed me, for some reason it really bothered me, but now my anger at you has diminished and my feelings have changed completely, now I am really sorry for you and what you have to live with.

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Suffered from depression for a couple of years but have recently ditched the docs meds and  found some solace in natural remedies.

 

5 htp

L theanine

Passiflora

Valerian root

 

I understand it won’t be for everyone but I feel better for going down this road.

 

Good luck everyone.

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AlphonseCapone
7 hours ago, bobsharp said:

 

Its funny how life can affect you, recently on a thread you face palmed me, for some reason it really bothered me, but now my anger at you has diminished and my feelings have changed completely, now I am really sorry for you and what you have to live with.

 

Apologies for upsetting you elsewhere Bob. You're a great poster. 

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  • 1 month later...
gashauskis9

Giving this a bump folks, in light of today’s news.

 

It’s ok not to be ok, this can’t continue to be perceived as taboo.

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Jeez. Eye opener for me here. Well done for the Posters on their brutal honesty on this thread. I really hope that the advice posted by others is a help. Humbled. 

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Captain Canada

I've had a difficult time of it in the past six months. I totally lost any interest in my job which resulted in me getting a very hard time from my managers and being hauled up in front of HR. I couldn't tell them what I was feeling like though. 

 

I love writing but didn't really do any in that time despite it being one of the few things that I can lose myself in. 

 

Stress has been a big factor in my anxiety lately. I work somewhere that long hours and huge workloads are the norm. I know people talk about me and my perceived lack of commitment, but getting through each day till 5pm feels like an enormous achievement mentally. Once a year they tick a few boxes with awful leaflets on mental health issues and that's it. 

 

A colleague broke his shoulder recently and the amount of sympathy and attention he got for a physical injury really highlighted to me how the difference between physical and mental health attitudes is so wide. 

 

I spoke to a previous employer about my anxiety and was then constantly undermined and treated differently to before. 

 

I've not taken any medication for years as it didn't work for me. I know it does for others though and everyone is different. 

 

I've never thought of myself as a strong person until fairly recently, when I realised I have come through so much and suffered for long periods but always managed to somehow keep functioning. 

 

For the first time since I left school about 25 years ago, I know what I want to do with my life and career. And that's to use my skills and experience to help other people who are so much worse off than I am. 

 

The best advice I can give from my own difficult times is to immerse yourself in different ways of thinking. There are so many amazing meditation videos on YouTube, books on mental health (check out Matt Haig) and apps. Just keep looking until you find something that feels like a good fit for you. 

 

I think slowly but surely a lot of the taboo around mental health problems is subsiding. There's still lots to be done but I think in another generation there will be a massive shift. 

 

Edited by StanLaurel
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shaun.lawson
2 hours ago, StanLaurel said:

For the first time since I left school about 25 years ago, I know what I want to do with my life and career. And that's to use my skills and experience to help other people who are so much worse off than I am. 

 

I'm very, very inspired by this. 'Mon yersel! :thumb: What sort of careers are you looking at as a result?

 

There's so, so many reasons for depression. Unresolved trauma / emotional crises / over-work / bullying / lack of exercise / lack of meaning / lack of self-esteem and so much else. One solution works for someone; another for someone else. But I strongly believe that for many, the answer lies in a combination of:

 

- Counselling

 

- Regular exercise 

 

- In some cases, anti-depressants (which aren't so much 'happy pills' as pills which allow people to merely function relatively 'normally'. Giving them a chance, in other words)

 

- Doing something meaningful which helps others and thereby makes you feel good too. 

 

When I was 10, and my schoolteacher asked us what we wanted to do when we grew up, I said: "I don't know exactly, Miss. But I don't want to work in an office, because they are miserable - and I do want a job which lets me watch major football tournaments every two years".

 

Office environments are, for huge numbers of people, like something out of Kafka. Managers are bullying and incompetent; staff bitch about each other behind their backs; people are treated ridiculously unfairly and unequally; hours get longer, pay gets less. This is not what we are on this planet for! 

 

What are we on it for? Something that gets us out of bed excited each day; something that gives us a sense of meaning and of fun. And the chance to love what you do, even if it means a lower income, is always, always work taking. 

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Captain Canada
5 hours ago, shaun.lawson said:

 

I'm very, very inspired by this. 'Mon yersel! :thumb: What sort of careers are you looking at as a result?

 

Thanks for your post Shaun. I totally agree with you on working in offices. I'm based in one now and it's soul destroying. The way some people behave is unbelievable. Things like deliberately setting other people up to fail and then taking the credit for sorting out the supposed 'mess'. 

 

Anyway, in answer to your question, I'm looking to work for a charity doing marketing and/or fundraising. I'm really passionate about homelessness and mental health issues. I still can't believe that we've got to 2018 and lots of employers don't take mental health seriously. 

 

As long as I have enough money to live off I'd much rather be just getting by and doing something I loved than earning more and being miserable every day. 

 

Hopefully I'll find the right opportunity soon. It's good to have a clear goal to focus on. 

Edited by StanLaurel
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shaun.lawson
2 hours ago, StanLaurel said:

 

Thanks for your post Shaun. I totally agree with you on working in offices. I'm based in one now and it's soul destroying. The way some people behave is unbelievable. Things like deliberately setting other people up to fail and then taking the credit for sorting out the supposed 'mess'. 

 

Anyway, in answer to your question, I'm looking to work for a charity doing marketing and/or fundraising. I'm really passionate about homelessness and mental health issues. I still can't believe that we've got to 2018 and lots of employers don't take mental health seriously. 

 

As long as I have enough money to live off I'd much rather be just getting by and doing something I loved than earning more and being miserable every day. 

 

Hopefully I'll find the right opportunity soon. It's good to have a clear goal to focus on. 

 

Good stuff. Although this thread is proof of how much more awareness there is amongst the public, the government and business pay no more than lip service to mental health. Which is extraordinary, given its impact on the economy and especially on productivity. The way in which so many offices are run is completely contrary to good business practice: treat people properly, value them as humans, care about them, and you'll get better results as an organisation. Treat them like disposable commodities, and you'll get worse ones.

 

Another thing many organisations do is take 5 seconds to remind their employees of 'mindfulness'. Perhaps this was well-intentioned to begin with - but in too many cases, it's turned into a cynical beyond belief way of essentially blaming staff for their problems. "Do a bit of meditation, deep breaths, and you can stay up half the night doing this insane amount of extra work we've just given you and aren't paying you overtime for". :rolleyes: 

 

And yes, goals are critical. Intermediate, realisable, measurable goals. My life suddenly changed once I put together a plan to move to this country. The next 18 months were about achieving that plan, step by step. A lot of people overwhelm themselves by setting a long range goal which is too far away to stay motivated for; shorter term goals taking someone towards that long range target are a lot more achievable.

 

Edited by shaun.lawson
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shaun.lawson
14 minutes ago, tian447 said:

 

Not ignorance at all, read it again. People should treat depression with the same degree of respect they treat any other illness or condition, rather than joking about it. 

 

Check Facebook out, and there are hundreds of thousands of posts about depression, joking about it, making it seem very unimportant, whereas the people who are actually taking anti-depressants and genuinely are struggling would never post such a stupidly inconsiderate thing, or wouldn't want that level of attention. 

 

Depression is a handy attention seek for some people, but not for the people who are struggling to cope with it. 

 

How's that, you arsehole? 

 

I agree in part - but please be careful. Not all depressives react to their condition in the same way. Many withdraw and don't talk, yes; but others do seek attention. The idea that no-one genuinely intending to kill themselves tells anyone beforehand is a myth. A myth which, given how pervasive it is, often kills. 

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Just now, shaun.lawson said:

 

I agree in part - but please be careful. Not all depressives react to their condition in the same way. Many withdraw and don't talk, yes; but others do seek attention. The idea that no-one genuinely intending to kill themselves tells anyone beforehand is a myth. A myth which, given how pervasive it is, often kills. 

 

I might be a bit biased. A good friend of mine killed himself a few years back, and he always thought that people didn't take the condition seriously enough, and that he should just cheer up. I doubt that was the overall reason in his final decision, but it must have been a contributor. 

 

I just hate seeing posts on Facebook, usually from lassies with 200 likes, saying that they're depressed because of X, Y, Z "lol" when in reality it's just because it's a Monday morning. That sort of stuff does my tits in because it's exactly the thing my mate used to complain about, and it's shite like that which means people take it less seriously in general. 

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shaun.lawson
1 minute ago, tian447 said:

 

I might be a bit biased. A good friend of mine killed himself a few years back, and he always thought that people didn't take the condition seriously enough, and that he should just cheer up. I doubt that was the overall reason in his final decision, but it must have been a contributor. 

 

I just hate seeing posts on Facebook, usually from lassies with 200 likes, saying that they're depressed because of X, Y, Z "lol" when in reality it's just because it's a Monday morning. That sort of stuff does my tits in because it's exactly the thing my mate used to complain about, and it's shite like that which means people take it less seriously in general. 

 

I get that. And personal experience informs our perspectives on everything really. So sorry to hear about your mate. 

 

Another really awful thing about this silent killer is that so often, it leaves friends and family afterwards questioning themselves and wondering if they could've done anything differently. Just being there for those we care about is all we can do - and the more general awareness there is, the more chance there is of us being able to see the warning signs, step in and stop it killing others. 

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18 minutes ago, tian447 said:

 

I might be a bit biased. A good friend of mine killed himself a few years back, and he always thought that people didn't take the condition seriously enough, and that he should just cheer up. I doubt that was the overall reason in his final decision, but it must have been a contributor. 

 

I just hate seeing posts on Facebook, usually from lassies with 200 likes, saying that they're depressed because of X, Y, Z "lol" when in reality it's just because it's a Monday morning. That sort of stuff does my tits in because it's exactly the thing my mate used to complain about, and it's shite like that which means people take it less seriously in general. 

 

 

I don't always agree with you tian but I do absolutely on this thread.

 

I think it makes it so much harder to get help too as people don't take your plight seriously. I've tried to talk to two separate doctors about where my head is at and they've both said do some exercise and have a read of a website. I'm well read and sought out online resources and exercise as an escape anyway and i just left feeling 100x worse as if there was nothing more i could do but muddle on. To open up to a doctor was a massive massive thing for me and I felt like they just didn't understand. I feel their dismissal is in part due to the amount of folk going 'ooooh I'm so depressed at the drop of a hat. 

 

It's sad, I never went back to the doctors about it and in the dark months I really don't know where to turn at times anymore. It makes you feel all the more futile and alone.

 

Which actually leads me into another question. Where do we think people should turn to get help? I often freeze when reading online and don't make that call on the online resources. I think it can be really hard for people to reach out in the first instance and can be a real stumbling point to getting help.

 

 

As an aside; this thread is excellent and a real credit to kickback. We bicker, we argue but it is a wonderful place to come and find humanity on real topics and reading through this thread is a hugely cathartic experience for me whenever I feels alone.

 

Edited by Taffin
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