iantjambo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 4 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: Right so long overdue update. Previously I had mentioned that I had been speaking to a few lassies, most of the conversation dried up fairly quickly, but there was one fairly tidy lass from Bathgate that I seemed to get along with pretty well and we organised to go out for some ice cream at a place local to her. I drove through from Glasgow and picked her up, pics weren’t too far off the real thing so I was quite happy I hadn’t been completely catfished. Anyway, beforehand the banter had been pretty flirty so was confident I’d be getting a wee kiss at the end of the night. Drove upto the ice cream place and it was shut. She offered to go back to hers which was obviously just down the road which I obviously agreed too. We sat for a few hours in the evening, had a bit of a kiss and before I knew it she was having a blow on the old pipe! The night sort of ended not long after that I ended back down the m8 with a big grin on my face! Anyway, we kept chatting and I was starting to realise that she was a little bit of a bunny boiler, but I’d had a taste of what she was about and kinda wanted to see what else was in store so agreed to drive through after work on the saturday before mother’s day. We went out for some late lunch, and then headed back to hers again, stuck a movie on which promptly got patched and moved straight onto the naughty stuff. Over 12 hours spent in bed and several sessions later I was a broken man. I had stayed the night and we finished with some morning glory before I headed home! I enjoyed my time, but I was well aware she was extremely clingy so for the past week or so I have been slowly replying less and less to the point I probably won’t message today. I now have 2/3 other people I’ve been speaking too, all that I’m actually more attracted to that Mrs rabbit up above, and a 1 I have a hell of a lot in common with. So I will Endeavour to update again soon God I’ve missed this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjcc Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 42 minutes ago, iantjambo said: He sounds like a keeper. Literally. Marciano? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 25 minutes ago, gjcc said: Marciano? I said a keeper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 40 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: Right so long overdue update. Previously I had mentioned that I had been speaking to a few lassies, most of the conversation dried up fairly quickly, but there was one fairly tidy lass from Bathgate that I seemed to get along with pretty well and we organised to go out for some ice cream at a place local to her. I drove through from Glasgow and picked her up, pics weren’t too far off the real thing so I was quite happy I hadn’t been completely catfished. Anyway, beforehand the banter had been pretty flirty so was confident I’d be getting a wee kiss at the end of the night. Drove upto the ice cream place and it was shut. She offered to go back to hers which was obviously just down the road which I obviously agreed too. We sat for a few hours in the evening, had a bit of a kiss and before I knew it she was having a blow on the old pipe! The night sort of ended not long after that I ended back down the m8 with a big grin on my face! Anyway, we kept chatting and I was starting to realise that she was a little bit of a bunny boiler, but I’d had a taste of what she was about and kinda wanted to see what else was in store so agreed to drive through after work on the saturday before mother’s day. We went out for some late lunch, and then headed back to hers again, stuck a movie on which promptly got patched and moved straight onto the naughty stuff. Over 12 hours spent in bed and several sessions later I was a broken man. I had stayed the night and we finished with some morning glory before I headed home! I enjoyed my time, but I was well aware she was extremely clingy so for the past week or so I have been slowly replying less and less to the point I probably won’t message today. I now have 2/3 other people I’ve been speaking too, all that I’m actually more attracted to that Mrs rabbit up above, and a 1 I have a hell of a lot in common with. So I will Endeavour to update again soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjcc Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 3 hours ago, iantjambo said: I said a keeper Sorry. I forgot he became an outfield player in his last game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 4 hours ago, Barack said: Thank **** this thread’s back up & running. Would you like us to reply back for you? He got promptly blocked. I’ve been single way too long and I’m far too ruddy vanilla for all that type of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamboelite Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Best thread on JKB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 11 minutes ago, Helzibob said: He got promptly blocked. I’ve been single way too long and I’m far too ruddy vanilla for all that type of thing. Aye sure. Steak pie cooking as we speak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 6 hours ago, Helzibob said: Oh and this is one of my latest messages. Thought I’d share this. Thanks Helzibob. I did ask you not to make that public, rat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 5 hours ago, Jambomuzz said: Right so long overdue update. Previously I had mentioned that I had been speaking to a few lassies, most of the conversation dried up fairly quickly, but there was one fairly tidy lass from Bathgate that I seemed to get along with pretty well and we organised to go out for some ice cream at a place local to her. I drove through from Glasgow and picked her up, pics weren’t too far off the real thing so I was quite happy I hadn’t been completely catfished. Anyway, beforehand the banter had been pretty flirty so was confident I’d be getting a wee kiss at the end of the night. Drove upto the ice cream place and it was shut. She offered to go back to hers which was obviously just down the road which I obviously agreed too. We sat for a few hours in the evening, had a bit of a kiss and before I knew it she was having a blow on the old pipe! The night sort of ended not long after that I ended back down the m8 with a big grin on my face! Anyway, we kept chatting and I was starting to realise that she was a little bit of a bunny boiler, but I’d had a taste of what she was about and kinda wanted to see what else was in store so agreed to drive through after work on the saturday before mother’s day. We went out for some late lunch, and then headed back to hers again, stuck a movie on which promptly got patched and moved straight onto the naughty stuff. Over 12 hours spent in bed and several sessions later I was a broken man. I had stayed the night and we finished with some morning glory before I headed home! I enjoyed my time, but I was well aware she was extremely clingy so for the past week or so I have been slowly replying less and less to the point I probably won’t message today. I now have 2/3 other people I’ve been speaking too, all that I’m actually more attracted to that Mrs rabbit up above, and a 1 I have a hell of a lot in common with. So I will Endeavour to update again soon She'll ken the score. If she's that quick to get into bed she will be used to ultimately getting patched in the end. Don't worry about her crying into her pillow at night while you're getting your end away elsewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 5 hours ago, Jambomuzz said: Right so long overdue update. Previously I had mentioned that I had been speaking to a few lassies, most of the conversation dried up fairly quickly, but there was one fairly tidy lass from Bathgate that I seemed to get along with pretty well and we organised to go out for some ice cream at a place local to her. I drove through from Glasgow and picked her up, pics weren’t too far off the real thing so I was quite happy I hadn’t been completely catfished. Anyway, beforehand the banter had been pretty flirty so was confident I’d be getting a wee kiss at the end of the night. Drove upto the ice cream place and it was shut. She offered to go back to hers which was obviously just down the road which I obviously agreed too. We sat for a few hours in the evening, had a bit of a kiss and before I knew it she was having a blow on the old pipe! The night sort of ended not long after that I ended back down the m8 with a big grin on my face! Anyway, we kept chatting and I was starting to realise that she was a little bit of a bunny boiler, but I’d had a taste of what she was about and kinda wanted to see what else was in store so agreed to drive through after work on the saturday before mother’s day. We went out for some late lunch, and then headed back to hers again, stuck a movie on which promptly got patched and moved straight onto the naughty stuff. Over 12 hours spent in bed and several sessions later I was a broken man. I had stayed the night and we finished with some morning glory before I headed home! I enjoyed my time, but I was well aware she was extremely clingy so for the past week or so I have been slowly replying less and less to the point I probably won’t message today. I now have 2/3 other people I’ve been speaking too, all that I’m actually more attracted to that Mrs rabbit up above, and a 1 I have a hell of a lot in common with. So I will Endeavour to update again soon If you cook at home. Just give the saucepans a good check first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 32 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: She'll ken the score. If she's that quick to get into bed she will be used to ultimately getting patched in the end. Don't worry about her crying into her pillow at night while you're getting your end away elsewhere. Yup, she probably has quite a number of reserves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 51 minutes ago, John Findlay said: Thanks Helzibob. I did ask you not to make that public, rat. ?? Now a chap is getting arsey as I won’t give him my number. I only started talking to him today. A few weeks on online dating sites, I don’t think can be bothered. I think I’ll just stick to being single. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 9 minutes ago, Helzibob said: ?? Now a chap is getting arsey as I won’t give him my number. I only started talking to him today. A few weeks on online dating sites, I don’t think can be bothered. I think I’ll just stick to being single. I think that's the best idea you have had to date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 13 minutes ago, Helzibob said: ?? Now a chap is getting arsey as I won’t give him my number. I only started talking to him today. A few weeks on online dating sites, I don’t think can be bothered. I think I’ll just stick to being single. No swapping numbers until after the first date and you've sussed them out a bit. Don't want some weirdo having your contact details. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 13 minutes ago, Helzibob said: ?? Now a chap is getting arsey as I won’t give him my number. I only started talking to him today. A few weeks on online dating sites, I don’t think can be bothered. I think I’ll just stick to being single. No, no, no. I don't think you quite understand what you got into when you posted on this thread. Think on, there's hundreds of magnificent gentlemen out there ready to message you and we want to know all about them. We need: * Funny messages * Date information * Blow-by-blow account of said date * Outcome of the date It's great seeing it from a girls point of view, there's so many more mental men than women on these sites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Honestly... I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve swiped right on bumble and not one sniff ☹️ I must be be one right ugly mofo! Single is the way forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, stu said: Honestly... I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve swiped right on bumble and not one sniff ☹️ I must be be one right ugly mofo! Single is the way forward. I got quite a few matches. Sent a bunch of messages. Only got one back. All the other matches deleted off 24 hours later. I’ve only been on it a few days and will give it a bit longer before I decide if it’s worth continuing. The eternal single life looks more and more attractive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 16 minutes ago, Helzibob said: I got quite a few matches. Sent a bunch of messages. Only got one back. All the other matches deleted off 24 hours later. I’ve only been on it a few days and will give it a bit longer before I decide if it’s worth continuing. The eternal single life looks more and more attractive. It does indeed. good luck with your quest... Stu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 In fact, how long does my swipe right stay active for? Anybody know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie1874 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 (edited) 11 hours ago, Ray Gin said: Just stick it right there on your profile. "I have gay friends so homophobes need not apply." Might be better to put on "My best friend is a lesbian" - maybe then take a week of work to deal with all the matches. Edited March 20, 2018 by jamie1874 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 (edited) 38 minutes ago, stu said: Honestly... I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve swiped right on bumble and not one sniff ☹️ I must be be one right ugly mofo! Single is the way forward. 33 minutes ago, Helzibob said: I got quite a few matches. Sent a bunch of messages. Only got one back. All the other matches deleted off 24 hours later. I’ve only been on it a few days and will give it a bit longer before I decide if it’s worth continuing. The eternal single life looks more and more attractive. 15 minutes ago, stu said: It does indeed. good luck with your quest... Stu I foresee a JKB wedding. Edited March 20, 2018 by iantjambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Haha! Well you never know.. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I’ve had a match! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 1 minute ago, stu said: I’ve had a match! Is her name Princess Helen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, Sooperstar said: Is her name Princess Helen? Please let it be so. ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. No! Buggger.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 15 minutes ago, stu said: I’ve had a match! Now she needs to contact you within 24 hours or the match disappears. Then you need to reply to her reply within 24 hours or the match disappears. The pressure is too much ??. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Barack said: We already got you a lady friend. Now you’re chatting up Helz, to have a Side Salad too? Dirty boy. #options Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 13 hours ago, jamie1874 said: Might be better to put on "My best friend is a lesbian" - maybe then take a week of work to deal with all the matches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Right Stu and Helz let's stop the cloak and dagger stuff, get a meet then give us a report. The tension between the pair of you is fizzing and almost at boiling point and we all know what's going to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 10 minutes ago, Riddley Walker said: Right Stu and Helz let's stop the cloak and dagger stuff, get a meet then give us a report. The tension between the pair of you is fizzing and almost at boiling point and we all know what's going to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Well, we at least have one thing in common..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 15 minutes ago, stu said: Well, we at least have one thing in common..... Can someone get their vote's on the Levein poll before they jump into anything serious? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomuzz Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Right guys need some advice. Matched with a woman the other day and it’s become apparent very early on she has literally 0 self confidence. However she is absolutely gagging for it. Do I pump her? Or do I let this one go incase I trigger some kind of crazy emotional psycho? I’m not instantly attracted to her but her body is lovely going by the pictures... and videos she has sent me. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 8 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: Right guys need some advice. Matched with a woman the other day and it’s become apparent very early on she has literally 0 self confidence. However she is absolutely gagging for it. Do I pump her? Or do I let this one go incase I trigger some kind of crazy emotional psycho? I’m not instantly attracted to her but her body is lovely going by the pictures... and videos she has sent me. Thoughts? Depends what you are after. If you are after sex and couldn't care the effect that would have on the lass, assuming you are just after that and no more, then you are going to do that. If you think you may get a relationship out of it, you may be the fella to boost her confidence and who knows what may happen. The fact you say you are not instantly attracted to her would suggest you aren't interested so if it were me, I'd let this one go and try and find someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 16 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: Right guys need some advice. Matched with a woman the other day and it’s become apparent very early on she has literally 0 self confidence. However she is absolutely gagging for it. Do I pump her? Or do I let this one go incase I trigger some kind of crazy emotional psycho? I’m not instantly attracted to her but her body is lovely going by the pictures... and videos she has sent me. Thoughts? Get yourself a burner phone and get it pumped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Jambomuzz said: Right guys need some advice. Matched with a woman the other day and it’s become apparent very early on she has literally 0 self confidence. However she is absolutely gagging for it. Do I pump her? Or do I let this one go incase I trigger some kind of crazy emotional psycho? I’m not instantly attracted to her but her body is lovely going by the pictures... and videos she has sent me. Thoughts? Zero self confidence and sending you videos? Something doesn't add up here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Jambomuzz said: Right guys need some advice. Matched with a woman the other day and it’s become apparent very early on she has literally 0 self confidence. However she is absolutely gagging for it. Do I pump her? Or do I let this one go incase I trigger some kind of crazy emotional psycho? I’m not instantly attracted to her but her body is lovely going by the pictures... and videos she has sent me. Thoughts? Depends how desperate you are for your sausage tickled, I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, stu said: Well, we at least have one thing in common..... Desperately watching yourselves age and your biological clocks tick down as you reluctantly prepare for a life of solitude? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 5 minutes ago, Riddley Walker said: Desperately watching yourselves age and your biological clocks tick down as you reluctantly prepare for a life of solitude? And on that cheary note......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomuzz Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 58 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: Zero self confidence and sending you videos? Something doesn't add up here. I’ve maybe not worded it right, it’s hard to explain. One of those like if you don’t respond for 5 minuites it’s “sorry that I wasn’t what you expected” shit like that. Tbh I’ll probably get it pumped just for the sake of getting my end away again and obviously to have something else to add to the thread. Might even give her the confindence boost she needs. Think she said she’s no had sex in 7 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 14 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: I’ve maybe not worded it right, it’s hard to explain. One of those like if you don’t respond for 5 minuites it’s “sorry that I wasn’t what you expected” shit like that. Abort mission!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 21 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: I’ve maybe not worded it right, it’s hard to explain. One of those like if you don’t respond for 5 minuites it’s “sorry that I wasn’t what you expected” shit like that. Tbh I’ll probably get it pumped just for the sake of getting my end away again and obviously to have something else to add to the thread. Might even give her the confindence boost she needs. Think she said she’s no had sex in 7 months. Nope. A shag wouldn’t be worth the inevitable hassle afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomuzz Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 minute ago, iantjambo said: Nope. A shag wouldn’t be worth the inevitable hassle afterwards. Hmm maybe your right!! I’ve got a couple other lassies I’m talking too, one seems really nice so hoping to get a date lined up next week with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridge of Djoum Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I love this thread. The female perspective is very interesting also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumpson Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Ignore these sensitive types, in the name of JKB, get her ploughed ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 2 hours ago, Riddley Walker said: Desperately watching yourselves age and your biological clocks tick down as you reluctantly prepare for a life of solitude? Make that three of us then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjcc Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Jambomuzz said: I’ve maybe not worded it right, it’s hard to explain. One of those like if you don’t respond for 5 minuites it’s “sorry that I wasn’t what you expected” shit like that. Tbh I’ll probably get it pumped just for the sake of getting my end away again and obviously to have something else to add to the thread. Might even give her the confindence boost she needs. Think she said she’s no had sex in 7 months. Thats how long it takes the op to heal fully, I believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 3 hours ago, Ray Gin said: Abort mission!! I’m with Ray Gin. Abort for sure. She sounds super needy and it wouldn’t be worth it for the hassle afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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