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Unashamedly crap jokes (some are pure gold!)

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Lemongrab
8 hours ago, ri Alban said:

🤣

It's may be this one.

 

An Irishman walks into a doctor's surgery with a frog on his head.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The frog says. "Well it started as a boil on my bum..."

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ri Alban
3 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

It's may be this one.

 

An Irishman walks into a doctor's surgery with a frog on his head.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The frog says. "Well it started as a boil on my bum..."

Aye, that's the one. 👍 Well almost. :D

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highlandjambo3

I may have posted this before...................

 

 

what’s the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
 

a kangaroo is an Australian marsupial and a kangaroot is a geordie stuck in a lift.

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narre

For sale:

Muhammad Ali DVD collection.

George Foreman grill.

Both boxed.

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Morgan
14 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

It's may be this one.

 

An Irishman walks into a doctor's surgery with a frog on his head.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The frog says. "Well it started as a boil on my bum..."

 

10 hours ago, ri Alban said:

Aye, that's the one. 👍 Well almost. :D

Well, that was worth the wait.

 

:vrface:

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ri Alban
4 minutes ago, Morgan said:

 

Well, that was worth the wait.

 

:vrface:

Mine would put me in the jail. These days.

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Morgan
7 minutes ago, ri Alban said:

Mine would put me in the jail. These days.

Ah!  Not worth it then..

 

Best to keep ones powder dry, ri.  👍

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ri Alban
2 hours ago, Morgan said:

Ah!  Not worth it then..

 

Best to keep ones powder dry, ri.  👍

Yip, unacceptable today. 👍

 

 

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Morgan
1 minute ago, ri Alban said:

Yip, unacceptable today. 👍

 

 

You’re back!

 

Thought you’d fecked off for the day.  :biggrin:

 

Everything is too PC nowadays, if you ask me. :sad: 

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ri Alban
6 minutes ago, Morgan said:

You’re back!

 

Thought you’d fecked off for the day.  :biggrin:

 

Everything is too PC nowadays, if you ask me. :sad: 

PC! I'm on my phone, does that count?  :)

 

 

Last day on the taxi, bud. Trying to squeeze as much money out of the public. 👍

Edited by ri Alban

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Morgan
1 minute ago, ri Alban said:

PC! I'm on my phone, does that count?  :)

 

 

Last day on the taxi, bud. Trying to squeeze as much money out of the public. 👍

Take it you go back to roofing tomorrow (or soon)?

 

Things getting back to normal in a lot of ways here too.  👍

 

Still a wee bit surreal, but definite signs of improvement.

 

And, the Italians are still forbidden to come into France!!   :HeartsMandance:

 

 

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The Real Maroonblood
38 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Take it you go back to roofing tomorrow (or soon)?

 

Things getting back to normal in a lot of ways here too.  👍

 

Still a wee bit surreal, but definite signs of improvement.

 

And, the Italians are still forbidden to come into France!!   :HeartsMandance:

 

 

Keep the foreigners out.

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Morgan
7 minutes ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

Keep the foreigners out.

That’s the spirit!  :thumbsup:

 

 

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The Real Maroonblood
Just now, Morgan said:

That’s the spirit!  :thumbsup:

 

 

:lol:

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ri Alban
1 hour ago, Morgan said:

Take it you go back to roofing tomorrow (or soon)?

 

Things getting back to normal in a lot of ways here too.  👍

 

Still a wee bit surreal, but definite signs of improvement.

 

And, the Italians are still forbidden to come into France!!   :HeartsMandance:

 

 

:thumb:

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LeftBack
15 hours ago, narre said:

For sale:

Muhammad Ali DVD collection.

George Foreman grill.

Both boxed.

🙌

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martoon
On 22/05/2020 at 19:03, Seaside jambo said:

A guy goes for a check up at the docs , a little Thai nurse comes into the room and tells the guy that she’s here to carry out a few tests before the doc starts. She tells the guy to drop his trousers n pants so she can carry out a testicle test, she proceeds to cup his balls in her hand , she says to him it’s ok sir to get an erection during this procedure, guys say I haven’t got one ! She reply’s no but I have 


Sorry for that one 😃

 

 

😁

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narre

A boat carrying red paint has crashed into a boat carrying blue paint...

The crew have been marooned!

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Lemongrab

A man goes to the doctors as he has a lump growing on his forehead.

The doc examines it and says, "I've some bad news for you, you have a penis growing there."

"Oh no, I'll look like a freak!", the man yells.

"Don't worry, you'll not be able to see it." says the doctor.

"Why not?', asked the man.

"The baws will be covering your eyes."

 

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ri Alban
3 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

A man goes to the doctors as he has a lump growing on his forehead.

The doc examines it and says, "I've some bad news for you, you have a penis growing there."

"Oh no, I'll look like a freak!", the man yells.

"Don't worry, you'll not be able to see it." says the doctor.

"Why not?', asked the man.

"The baws will be covering your eyes."

 

 

:biglaugh:

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Maple Leaf

First sentry:  "Alarm!  Two enemy soldiers are approaching."

Second sentry: "Are they close?"

First sentry: "Well, I heard them say that they've been friends since childhood."

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narre
14 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

A man goes to the doctors as he has a lump growing on his forehead.

The doc examines it and says, "I've some bad news for you, you have a penis growing there."

"Oh no, I'll look like a freak!", the man yells.

"Don't worry, you'll not be able to see it." says the doctor.

"Why not?', asked the man.

"The baws will be covering your eyes."

 

😄Damn that's a classic.

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narre

I was in the garden earlier when my wife shouted down from the bedroom window.

"Fancy coming up here and sucking my tits?" she said

. "I can't be bothered coming upstairs," I replied.

"Just take your bra off and I'll do it from down here!"

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