Tazio Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 There are 5 witnesses mate. 3 kids and him admitting to me and the Mrs that he thought he went over something in the road. He'd be daft to try and go down the route of denying it now. Cheers for the moral support though. It's been a tough 48 hours No witnesses. Just some kids that knocked your mirror off and came up with a convincing story that also involved getting some poor patsy to drive over the mirror. Thus explaining the lack of damage to his van. Clever kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolf's Mate Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Enough to drive you to drink No witnesses. Just some kids that knocked your mirror off and came up with a convincing story that also involved getting some poor patsy to drive over the mirror. Thus explaining the lack of damage to his van. Clever kids. The kids would struggle to reach my mirrors, but liking your conspiracy theory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 (edited) No witnesses. Just some kids that knocked your mirror off and came up with a convincing story that also involved getting some poor patsy to drive over the mirror. Thus explaining the lack of damage to his van. Clever kids. Or, RM has actually paid the kids up front to back up his made up story and blame this poor innocent chap, in fear of telling his good lady, that it was actually him that took the mirror off, with his awful driving. Edited September 14, 2016 by luckyBatistuta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Sue Perkins. I ******* hate her. Like a proper irrational hatred. She's just not funny. She always laughs at her own jokes and always tries to look broody with her stupid little ******* glasses and her stupid floppy ******* hair do. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk I too have had a perfectly rational hatred for this bint for many a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Or, RM has actually paid the kids up front to back up his made up story and blame this poor innocent chap, in fear of telling his good lady, that it was actually him that took the mirror off, with his awful driving. "You sort out this terrible mess for me, and I will pay you double!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Its 7,15 pm misty and half dark and some car drivers with no lights on, what is it with this type of person , beyond me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 You're a twat. I approve. There was no need for him to take the scenic route home though eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Sue Perkins. I ******* hate her. Like a proper irrational hatred. She's just not funny. She always laughs at her own jokes and always tries to look broody with her stupid little ******* glasses and her stupid floppy ******* hair do. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk It's not irrational though is it? She's a ****ing arsehole. See the way she tries to tell the bakers on Great British Bake Off to start baking in some kind of wacky way every week - I'm surprised there aren't millions of TV screens getting smashed at that precise moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennywise Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 It's not irrational though is it? She's a ******* arsehole. See the way she tries to tell the bakers on Great British Bake Off to start baking in some kind of wacky way every week - I'm surprised there aren't millions of TV screens getting smashed at that precise moment. I've never actually watched the baking thing. She really irritates me on QI. ****ing look at her! *****! Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Looks like a lesbian Snape from Harry Potter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Should be an alternative smug smiley on here. It should!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 You'd have her, AND McGonagall, getting all "witchy" with you. We all know it. I'd give a new definition to Moaning Mertle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 People that are incapable of following the most basic of instructions! The bogs at work have a Dyson Airblade style hand dryer, picture on top clearly shows hands flat, being pulled towards you. It works, a 5 second drag under the blast of ward air and your hands are dry, yet half the morons in my work spend a good 2-3 minutes trying to dry their hands using the handwringing method which doesn't work and makes the bloody dryer overheat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Ozzy Man Reviews. Absolute dickhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweegy Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Cash machines, that after you select the amount you want, then proceed to ask if you want a receipt. Every time I wonder what is taking so long as I look around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Ozzy Man Reviews. Absolute dickhead. I found his commentary of the wee rugby dude very amusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Cash machines, that after you select the amount you want, then proceed to ask if you want a receipt. Every time I wonder what is taking so long as I look around. Cash machines were faster 20 years ago, FACT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Cash machines were faster 20 years ago, FACT. Cash is dying on its arse. You're lucky if I use a machine twice a month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nookie Bear Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 People using their phones while driving. Topical I know but there was a prick yesterday who started to drive out of our office multi level car park while on his mobile. Total welt as is everyone who does this. I always want to see these guys further down the road, having driven full tilt into a lamppost. Chances are, if they think it's okay to use phones, then they won't be wearing a seatbelt either. Result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 I always want to see these guys further down the road, having driven full tilt into a lamppost. Chances are, if they think it's okay to use phones, then they won't be wearing a seatbelt either. Result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilson's Shank Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Currently on holiday, what is it with fat birds and massive tattoos on their legs. I have witnessed some feckin horrors over the last 7 days. Thing is they all look pretty intracate and would I imagine in the 200 to 300 quid mark. Do the tattoo artists get paid danger money, if not they really should. Perhaps it really is the case that they like to suffer for their art. On the whole the owners of the art do not look like regular gym users so a huge investment for a couple of weeks a year. Reminds me of a joke for the joke thread where a Sellik minded lassie gets Larrson tattooed on one thigh and Dalglish on the other, when she shows the boyfriend he cannot identify either but thinks the one in the middle is Danny McGrain. Rant over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 (edited) I was on my way to work at 06:30 this morning and I could see in the subway what I thought was the ground under half an inch of water. Turns out 2 steps up was half an inch under water and I only knew this when I was knee deep Edited September 16, 2016 by IronJambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Cash machines, that after you select the amount you want, then proceed to ask if you want a receipt. Every time I wonder what is taking so long as I look around.And ask if you want to view your balance anaw. Just give me my cash and stop asking so many questions; I'm drunk AF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Currently on holiday, what is it with fat birds and massive tattoos on their legs.They probably were small tattoos at first that just expanded with the legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 They probably were small tattoos at first that just expanded with the legs. Hopefully, these fat schemies from Leith who 'goat thur' 21st ay May tatts will have massive green and white shite messes all over their 'airums' when they reach puberty. Ken? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Who the hell sanctioned 800 or so lycra clad ****wits to cycle up the A82 today from Callander - Fort William? Absolute bloody chaos. I'm actually shaking with rage. Who do I write to to complain about it? Hugely unsafe, un organised and damn right bloody annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 (edited) Women That's it, just WOMEN Seriously how the **** can you win with these arseholes? Why am I sitting here feeling guilty when I've done **** all wrong? Yes I'm pished EDIT: Seriously I'm being accused of something I may or may not have said months ago which in all honesty doesn't really matter anymore. I swear to god I'll pay someone to figure out what goes on in this ***** mind. Oh and I'm getting the silent treatment as well other than the "no I'm fine" in the tone of voice that suggests she's anything but ok. Edited September 17, 2016 by iantjambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Cyclists on pavements! Outside EICC at about 8:30 last night I was walking towards Lothian Rd when these two assoles a guy and a girl) came cycling towards me. I took the opportunity to tell them pavements were for pedestrians and all I got in reply was abuse. I gave them as good as I got. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Women That's it, just WOMEN Seriously how the **** can you win with these arseholes? Why am I sitting here feeling guilty when I've done **** all wrong? Yes I'm pished EDIT: Seriously I'm being accused of something I may or may not have said months ago which in all honesty doesn't really matter anymore. I swear to god I'll pay someone to figure out what goes on in this ***** mind. Oh and I'm getting the silent treatment as well other than the "no I'm fine" in the tone of voice that suggests she's anything but ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I've seethed about supermarket checkout's becoming mini social clubs before but today I witnessed a checkout person leave her customer mid way through serving her to go and hug another customer! If i had been the customer that was delayed by this behaviour I would have made my dissatisfaction known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Women That's it, just WOMEN Seriously how the **** can you win with these arseholes? Why am I sitting here feeling guilty when I've done **** all wrong? Yes I'm pished EDIT: Seriously I'm being accused of something I may or may not have said months ago which in all honesty doesn't really matter anymore. I swear to god I'll pay someone to figure out what goes on in this ***** mind. Oh and I'm getting the silent treatment as well other than the "no I'm fine" in the tone of voice that suggests she's anything but ok. The old 'no, I'm fine' line is a flamin' nightmare. One I regularly get is 'well, what did you expect, do you blame me'? Well, actually I feckin do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I've seethed about supermarket checkout's becoming mini social clubs before but today I witnessed a checkout person leave her customer mid way through serving her to go and hug another customer! If i had been the customer that was delayed by this behaviour I would have made my dissatisfaction known. My sister was hugged by her best friend who is a checkout assistant yesterday. She was so pleased to see her after all these years in a hostage camp in Cambodia. Made her day it did. A wee cuddle can make or break a persons day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennywise Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 People who say that Guiness tastes better in Ireland. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I've seethed about supermarket checkout's becoming mini social clubs before but today I witnessed a checkout person leave her customer mid way through serving her to go and hug another customer! If i had been the customer that was delayed by this behaviour I would have made my dissatisfaction known. i would have either walked away or went straight to customer services and kicked off before paying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solid Snake Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Getting out of bed in the morning. It is genuinely ****ing painful. Every year I age it just gets worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solid Snake Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Part time women that call in sick frequently. You work three days a week man and still trying to skive. Wage thieves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Middle names & people who persist in using them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Middle names & people who persist in using them. I have 2 middle names , only use the 1st unless its an official document like passport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweegy Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 And ask if you want to view your balance anaw. Just give me my cash and stop asking so many questions; I'm drunk AF This man gets it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennywise Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 That's the heating on. Fuming. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 That's the heating on. Fuming. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Heating on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Talking about heating I spent last night in a Travelodge in Clapham that seemed to have went for winter heating already and a window that if opened reminded me of the noise of Clapham Junction trains that start running at 4am. Add in the lovely hotel feature of 1 pillow too low, 2 pillows too high. And then a train back to Edinburgh this afternoon that had a very limited booze choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Talking about heating I spent last night in a Travelodge in Clapham that seemed to have went for winter heating already and a window that if opened reminded me of the noise of Clapham Junction trains that start running at 4am. Add in the lovely hotel feature of 1 pillow too low, 2 pillows too high. And then a train back to Edinburgh this afternoon that had a very limited booze choice. nightmare trip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Women That's it, just WOMEN Seriously how the **** can you win with these arseholes? Why am I sitting here feeling guilty when I've done **** all wrong? Yes I'm pished EDIT: Seriously I'm being accused of something I may or may not have said months ago which in all honesty doesn't really matter anymore. I swear to god I'll pay someone to figure out what goes on in this ***** mind. Oh and I'm getting the silent treatment as well other than the "no I'm fine" in the tone of voice that suggests she's anything but ok. I'm with you Ian. Bloody weird creatures. Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can. Soon she'll be twittering all the usual pish of the day and making your ears bleed. My late father in law used to take out his hearing aid and would just sit there smiling whilst the MIL ranted on. Never ever heard him answer back once or argue. All yea dear stuff. Soon as she was out it was 'that will be ****ing right' Quality old chap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Arseholes who give their kids stupid names. I had a Porsche and Mercedes who came along to classes. My mate had twins coming to him. One was called Sam. The girl was called Ella. Arseholes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckydug Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Cyclists on pavements! Outside EICC at about 8:30 last night I was walking towards Lothian Rd when these two assoles a guy and a girl) came cycling towards me. I took the opportunity to tell them pavements were for pedestrians and all I got in reply was abuse. I gave them as good as I got. Time something was done about these pests. A new law should be passed saying that anyone over the age of 12 guilty of this anti social behaviour should be made to watch their bike disappearing into the council crusher. That will sort them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 (edited) Time something was done about these pests. A new law should be passed saying that anyone over the age of 12 guilty of this anti social behaviour should be made to watch their bike disappearing into the council crusher. That will sort them. sick to the back teeth of them thinking they can flout every law going, but can't wait to tell you about them when they think your 'supposedly' doing something wrong. Edited September 20, 2016 by luckyBatistuta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Internet Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 People who chat about having their heating on when temperatures are still in double figures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 Heating on? I had the windows open all night. If you're finding it cold now, you might not make it through the winter RIP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 Heating on It's still roasting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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