Pennywise Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 Never been. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 Needs shot. Sorry, double post. Needs shot twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glottis Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 "Ewan and Cat" and their utter shite banter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 "Ewan and Cat" and their utter shite banter. Radio for retards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 Yeah, IKEA man. ******* IKEA. Awful mdf shite, awful shopping experience, decent meatballs The meatballs are rank! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 The meatballs are rank! You must really hate IKEA then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 When you starve yerself all day as you want to try the new chinese place out.... For it to be shite and you bin half the stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 You must really hate IKEA then Don't mind it, it's fine for buying disposable furniture. The foods rotten but I buy cloudberry jam from them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 Plumbing. 2nd leak we've had on two months. Upstairs bath this time. Only noticed it now cause of the damp patch on the ceiling in the hall downstairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solid Snake Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 Johnny Vegas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Seething at myself for eating 3 Greggs sausage rolls with brown sauce and a can of Heinz beans. The dangers of working from home. Dunno if I will sleep tonight due to guilt. Greedy barsteward. You'll be farting like a machine too. What makes idiots like yourself do this sort of thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) Seething at myself for eating 3 Greggs sausage rolls with brown sauce and a can of Heinz beans. The dangers of working from home. Dunno if I will sleep tonight due to guilt. I eat stuff like that at 2/3 in the morning all the time, now I'm riddled with guilt...cheers Edited September 12, 2016 by luckyBatistuta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I eat stuff like that at 2/3 in the morning all the time, now I'm riddled with guilt...cheers Aye but you've got an excuse - you've been providing 'decent rides' all night. Jonno is just a greedy get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Words fail me..... Has that ever happened before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Aye but you've got an excuse - you've been providing 'decent rides' all night. Jonno is just a greedy get. I wouldn't say 'decent'...just a 'fare ride' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Words fail me..... Has that ever happened before? That surely didn't just happen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I wouldn't say 'decent'...just a 'fare ride' Fair enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 That surely didn't just happen image.jpeg What's that then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Aye with the rear view mirror tilting downwards, especially on a hen night..... Always a smutty comment when a clean one would do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Ignorant buggers who recruiter unaware, forgotten or are too lazy to park properly. At junctions, opposite other parked vehicles, on pavements. Does nobody enforce parking rules these days? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solid Snake Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Ignorant buggers who recruiter unaware, forgotten or are too lazy to park properly. At junctions, opposite other parked vehicles, on pavements. Does nobody enforce parking rules these days? Agreed, To add to your list, people that double park infront of communal bins. Even if the bins aren't due for collection, it's still a dickish thing to do as it makes it more difficult for people to put stuff in the bin. It also clogs up the road aswell, especially if it's a narrow street. I remember once that a car didn't move for around 3 weeks and it was double parked infront of a communal bin. Binmen obvioisly couldn't empty it and bags were overflowing everywhere across the street. No ticket or anything for the car from what I could see. Are people really that lazy that they can't just find another street? Embarrassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I'm sitting in the house and I suddenly realise that I'm a bit peckish so I says to the wife "I'm going to nip over to the chippy, you wanting anything?" "Aye, just get me a bag of chips" "Ok, salt and sauce aye?" "Hmm no, get me mayonnaise" Anyone know a good divorce lawyer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I think most judges would let you off if you went all Jordache on her. Aye, you'd not even get community service for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 The advert, not sure what it's for but the guy with the fat arse in high heels dancing like a stripper...... **** off ya creepy ******* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I think most judges would let you off if you went all Jordache on her. hmmm, that is true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Agreed, To add to your list, people that double park infront of communal bins. Even if the bins aren't due for collection, it's still a dickish thing to do as it makes it more difficult for people to put stuff in the bin. It also clogs up the road aswell, especially if it's a narrow street. I remember once that a car didn't move for around 3 weeks and it was double parked infront of a communal bin. Binmen obvioisly couldn't empty it and bags were overflowing everywhere across the street. No ticket or anything for the car from what I could see. Are people really that lazy that they can't just find another street? Embarrassing. i would have put any bags that didn't fit in the bin on top of the car, hopefully a dirty nappy would leak out onto the windscreen or door handle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I'm sitting in the house and I suddenly realise that I'm a bit peckish so I says to the wife "I'm going to nip over to the chippy, you wanting anything?" "Aye, just get me a bag of chips" "Ok, salt and sauce aye?" "Hmm no, get me mayonnaise" Anyone know a good divorce lawyer? My girlfriend is the same, mayo with her chips, being up north I settle for gold star sauce. I do like mayo, not with a chippy though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 My girlfriend is the same, mayo with her chips, being up north I settle for gold star sauce. I do like mayo, not with a chippy though. See if I was in a pub and got a burger and chips, I'd have some with mayo. From a chippy or that though? Never in your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 People in team t-shirts, on stag or hen do's. Kalashnikovs were surely invented for such people. Let's all watch "Mole" dance like the idiot from Inbetweeners, or "Schlong Monster" down 4 WKD's in 1 minute. Must. Drink. More. Ignore. Arseholes. Hate the whole t-shirt thing. I've been on our extensive stag do where I have had to wear a group t-shirt. Had.no choice though. You either look like a dick or you're the dick that won't wear the t-shirt to the airport. Just don't judge every single person that is wearing one. Some of them won't want to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Pricks on motorbikes who drive all the way down the middle of the wrong side of the road. I was at the bottom of Drum Brae North sitting in a queue of traffic at a red light. I needed to go back up the road, so checked for cyclists and nothing was coming and also nothing coming up from the lights, so decided to do a quick three point turn. I start to turn and this knob on a motorbike appears from nowhere tearing down the middle of the wrong side of the road and begins to shake his head at me. Your driving on the wrong side of the road and your shaking your head at me...seriously!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Taxi drivers, on my bike today and some prick decided to pull out in front of me to do a u-turn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Taxi drivers, on my bike today and some prick decided to pull out in front of me to do a u-turn. Yup, some terrible taxi drivers out there. Glad that wasn't me though, as mine was a 'motorbike' and was a '3 point turn" and i was clearly in the right again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Dismal attempt at humour from me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Whilst patiently waiting to turn left or right onto a main road. Drivers who refuse to let you out when the traffic slows down. That winds me up. What winds me up even more is when they refuse to let you out then are forced to stop, because of slowing traffic, right in front of you blocking your way onto the road! I mean FFS! You ignorant twat! 3 seconds of your time to let me out will save me 5 minutes of waiting! Then they refuse to look at you because they realize they have been an ignorant twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quint Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 I hate when you are turning right on to a main road and some one sneeks up on your left hand side looking to turn left. All they do is block your view of the traffic so you can't go. They can though so that's OK. Sent from my E6653 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Whilst patiently waiting to turn left or right onto a main road. Drivers who refuse to let you out when the traffic slows down. That winds me up. What winds me up even more is when they refuse to let you out then are forced to stop, because of slowing traffic, right in front of you blocking your way onto the road! I mean FFS! You ignorant twat! 3 seconds of your time to let me out will save me 5 minutes of waiting! Then they refuse to look at you because they realize they have been an ignorant twat. If you try to force your way in then I'll treat you like the ***** you are and not let you. Otherwise I'll wave a car through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 If you try to force your way in then I'll treat you like the ***** you are and not let you. Otherwise I'll wave a car through. That's why i said "waiting patiently" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Mayonnaise on her chips last night and tonight she's making me watch Mrs Browns ******* Boys Is this **** trying to drop me a hint? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown user Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Mayonnaise on her chips last night and tonight she's making me watch Mrs Browns ******* Boys Is this **** trying to drop me a hint? It's not a very subtle one, she might as well just tell you to **** off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Deciding to not bother watching Barcelona tonight. I was going to say "the Celtic game" but I'm not sure they were there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maiden Gorgie Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Whilst patiently waiting to turn left or right onto a main road. Drivers who refuse to let you out when the traffic slows down. That winds me up. What winds me up even more is when they refuse to let you out then are forced to stop, because of slowing traffic, right in front of you blocking your way onto the road! I mean FFS! You ignorant twat! 3 seconds of your time to let me out will save me 5 minutes of waiting! Then they refuse to look at you because they realize they have been an ignorant twat. Don't mean to sound sexist here but women are the worst offenders, guys seem to be more considerate drivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Don't mean to sound sexist here but women are the worst offenders, guys seem to be more considerate drivers. Women tend to be but thats because they are thick as feck when it comes to driving. They have no spacial awareness what so ever and think that slowing down somehow makes the car shrink in size. Men are just ignorant as feck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maiden Gorgie Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Women tend to be but thats because they are thick as feck when it comes to driving. They have no spacial awareness what so ever and think that slowing down somehow makes the car shrink in size. Men are just ignorant as feck. Have to admit that is not my experience with male drivers. I would say roughly 8 out of 10 will let you out, with women it seems 5 at best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennywise Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Sue Perkins. I ****ing hate her. Like a proper irrational hatred. She's just not funny. She always laughs at her own jokes and always tries to look broody with her stupid little ****ing glasses and her stupid floppy ****ing hair do. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Sue Perkins. I ******* hate her. Like a proper irrational hatred. She's just not funny. She always laughs at her own jokes and always tries to look broody with her stupid little ******* glasses and her stupid floppy ******* hair do. Sent from my VF-895N using Tapatalk Is she on The Great British Bake Off? I have a similar hatred for Mary Berry. She might be a lovely person,I have no idea, but whenever I see her on telly she just comes across as a right cow! Fortunately I only saw it while I was house sharing for a bit, got a place on my own now and will hopefully never see it again, pish poor telly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 So it seems I've inadvertently got my revenge for the wife's misdemeanours of the last two nights by leaving for work this morning and taking both sets of keys with me. She and the wee man are now locked in and late for work/school until I get home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolf's Mate Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 (edited) Knock on the door, 3 young kids from down the street holding our wing mirror. Said a guy in a big white van has just gone down the road (1 way system) and taken it off. I cut through the alley into the next street and there's a white transit parked in the middle of the road with a guy delivering Amazon parcels. After telling him he'd taken our mirror off he apologised and said he thought he'd gone over something in the road and had looked in his mirror but couldn't see anything. After exchanging details he asked if he could pay for the damage as he would be hammered for his excess. I didn't see a problem with this and told him I'd call first thing in the morning to try and get a rough price. Later that night another knock at the door and it's the driver saying he lost my details. After giving him the info he then asks if I could say the prang happened the following day in order that he can call his insurance and pay a little more to limit his liability then have the claim lodged I said I'd make some calls first thing in the morning and get back to him. The next day between 9-10 he calls me 3 times chasing it up. He then says would I be able to say that he was driving his own car! I was all for helping the guy out and had got a cost of ?179 for the mirror including fitting however he starts going on about fitting a dashcam as he had no marks on his mirror (where contact was made) and he's not convinced he actually hit anything, but will take my word! I've now left it with my insurance to deal with him! Oh and we gave the local snitches some cash for knocking on our door Edited September 14, 2016 by Rudolf's Mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Knock on the door, 3 young kids from down the street holding our wing mirror. Said a guy in a big white van has just gone down the road (1 way system) and taken it off. I cut through the alley into the next street and there's a white transit parked in the middle of the road with a guy delivering Amazon parcels. After telling him he'd taken our mirror off he apologised and said he thought he'd gone over something in the road and had looked in his mirror but couldn't see anything. After exchanging details he asked if he could pay for the damage as he would be hammered for his excess. I didn't see a problem with this and told him I'd call first thing in the morning to try and get a rough price. Later that night another knock at the door and it's the driver saying he lost my details. After giving him the info he then asks if I could say the prang happened the following day in order that he can call his insurance and pay a little more to limit his liability then have the claim lodged I said I'd make some calls first thing in the morning and get back to him. The next day between 9-10 he calls me 3 times chasing it up. He then says would I be able to say that he was driving his own car! I was all for helping the guy out and had got a cost of ?179 for the mirror including fitting however he starts going on about fitting a dashcam as he had no marks on his mirror (where contact was made) and he's not convinced he actually hit anything, but will take my word! I've now left it with my insurance to deal with him! Oh and we gave the local snitches some cash for knocking on our door He didn't think he actually hit anything, but he'll take your word for it. Does he think your daft, who would even contemplate for paying for damage that they didn't think they'd caused...daftie. Hope you get it sorted bud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolf's Mate Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 He didn't think he actually hit anything, but he'll take your word for it. Does he think your daft, who would even contemplate for paying for damage that they didn't think they'd caused...daftie. Hope you get it sorted bud. There are 5 witnesses mate. 3 kids and him admitting to me and the Mrs that he thought he went over something in the road. He'd be daft to try and go down the route of denying it now. Cheers for the moral support though. It's been a tough 48 hours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 There are 5 witnesses mate. 3 kids and him admitting to me and the Mrs that he thought he went over something in the road. He'd be daft to try and go down the route of denying it now. Cheers for the moral support though. It's been a tough 48 hours Enough to drive you to drink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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