Marvin Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Men that wear trainers to walk to work, with their suit. THIS. I just don't get it, you can buy comfortable shoes, women I understand those high heels look tricky to walk in, but men....WTF? Guess I better get myself a pair of comfortable shoes then (at least I don't wear a suit, just my trousers and shirt). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboceej Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 THIS. I just don't get it, you can buy comfortable shoes, women I understand those high heels look tricky to walk in, but men....WTF? There's a guy in my office that wears them actually in the office all day, manky running trainers with smart trousers, shirt, etc. Only time he puts shoes on is for meetings with folk from outside our work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Sheldon Cooper Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Folk hanging around outside the hospital where Kate is due to give birth waiting on an announcement. Do these people have nothing better to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Folk hanging around outside the hospital where Kate is due to give birth waiting on an announcement. Do these people have nothing better to do? like going to their job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Thought of a few more on the way home! Each night there is a shuttle bus from my office to the train station that gets to the station a minute or two before the train to Edinburgh is due and every single night there are 2 morons that start running to the platform the second they get off the bus, this inspires the rest of the morons that were on the bus to also run as they think they are going to miss the train, THEY WON'T! Each and every day I casually walk from the bus to the platform, usually have time for a cigarette and not once have I missed the fecking train!! Also people that can't read basic, simple instructions! As an example, each and every staircase in Waverly train station is clearly marked in both directions stating that you should keep to the left hand side of the stairs yet the number of complete pricks that think you are in the wrong as they try and fight past a mass of people heading in the opposite direction! 3rd and final one at the moment, people who advertise flatshares etc on the internet/gumtree and then when they finally respond to a query they say 'can you please text me as I don't check my emails very often', why the **** would you advertise something online if you can't check emails ffs??????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 The ******* amoebae at my work who, after noticing that I'm standing behind them at the tea machine, still fill up four cups in one go. I only want a hot chocolate ffs, you selfish ****s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_razors_edge Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 At work and the burd tries to phone, FFS you know what time I finish! I finish at the same time every single day, she knows this so why the **** does she try to phone me 15 minutes before I finish!!! I'll see your phone before you finish work and raise you a phone me when she knows I'm driving and can't answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Email at work: "Hi I'm looking for your help with something, when are you free?" Me: "Monday, Tuesday and Thursday morning work best for me." Meeting invite comes through, Wednesday morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Chae Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Two blue lines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Wife woke me up at 5 am this morning to tell me....... She couldn't sleep Cheers, that makes 2 of us now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Wife woke me up at 5 am this morning to tell me....... She couldn't sleep Cheers, that makes 2 of us now. GHP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 GHP Painters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Chae Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Painters. Pot the broon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serge Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Painters. Painters who seem to think it is their divine right to put the crappiest sounding transistor radio on loud while they slap some magnolia on the corridor walls thus subjecting the masses to Grant Stott. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regal Kingston Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Twitter parody accounts. Funny for five minutes - deranged to keep going or years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Price Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Thunder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Chae Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Magnolia paint. Just smoke in the hoose for 10 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Magnolia paint. Just smoke in the hoose for 10 years. Expensive paint Would have been cheaper buying rum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudy T Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I'll see your phone before you finish work and raise you a phone me when she knows I'm driving and can't answer. I used to work from home now and again - the term "work" was totally lost on my missus, came into the room every 5 minutes to ask me questions or if I could help her with something (nowt sexually either otherwise I might have be inclined to help). Drove me insane !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuthy2k Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Some gym related ones here: The wee asian lass who always seems to be on the treadmill beside me doing her 8 strides per second running technique thingie... just weird. If she was sprinting, fair enough, but not whilst on a jog speed! The ex-army type also on the treadmill last night who had the posture of a lamppost and bounded along like bambi crossed with a high jumper Bursd going to classes who insist on filling up their 2L water bottle to the top when all I want is a couple of mouthfulls Blokes in the shower who decide it is the manly thing to hawk up a greener every couple of seconds and gob it out - go see a doctor ffs if one dosent clear out your tubes Bursds who will not use the machines in front of me - the only thing keeping me from getting bored on the treadmill is if I have a nice a$$ to look at Blokes in the gym changing room who walk about in the scud. If my winkle was that small, I would never be walking about with it limply trying to swing about in public. Folk with their physical trainer who insist on taking up about machines at the same time, and hogging 2 sets of weights to 'vary the routine as quickly as possible'. If you aren't using one, I WILL take them as we all pay the same basic membership fee. Obnoxious pretty boy types in the changing room who insist on getting changed in front of the mirror. Folk who insist they are cool by wearing the largest most obnoxious set of 'cans', usually Beats headphones. You look like a f@nny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Beats headphones in general. You can get phones that are light years ahead of those things for half the price. You may as well carry a giant sign saying "I'm an idiot and I'll pay double if it means my headphone cables are red." Morons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Swanson Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Office chat in general. I'm only here to work, not be your pal. Please don't discuss your family life with me. Talk about stuff that I don't care about. Have a clearly bull story based on nearly every year on the top ten on the radio about how you remember playing this song to people who arrived at the holiday resort you worked at in Turkey in 1993. You have italian relatives....big woop. Stop going on about. S***e apps on your phone that you have that act like a walkie talkie with your bairns, aye fine but don't keep playing it in the office. And todays chat on the phone to someone is about gall stones... Safely say I cannot stand it, thank christ for spotify... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Beats headphones in general. You can get phones that are light years ahead of those things for half the price. You may as well carry a giant sign saying "I'm an idiot and I'll pay double if it means my headphone cables are red." Morons. Once even had a club DJ trying to defend Beats to the point that he claimed my Technics studio headphones were cheap tat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Once even had a club DJ trying to defend Beats to the point that he claimed my Technics studio headphones were cheap tat! I used to use those chunky metal looking Technics phones for DJing. Nice sound but they didn't last long in my record bag. Been using Sennheisers for years now and wouldn't ever buy anything else now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Swanson Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Beats headphones in general. You can get phones that are light years ahead of those things for half the price. You may as well carry a giant sign saying "I'm an idiot and I'll pay double if it means my headphone cables are red." Morons. Claimed they were "BEBO" headphones on Facebook and anyone that went "naw naw they're beats by dre" (or similar) were instantly deleted. For all I use mines for the ?8 Sony ones from Argos do me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomuzz Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Women. Women. Women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I used to use those chunky metal looking Technics phones for DJing. Nice sound but they didn't last long in my record bag. Been using Sennheisers for years now and wouldn't ever buy anything else now. Looked after mine so they lasted a good few years dj'ing, probably due an upgrade soon though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gershwin Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Some gym related ones here: The wee asian lass who always seems to be on the treadmill beside me doing her 8 strides per second running technique thingie... just weird. If she was sprinting, fair enough, but not whilst on a jog speed! The ex-army type also on the treadmill last night who had the posture of a lamppost and bounded along like bambi crossed with a high jumper Bursd going to classes who insist on filling up their 2L water bottle to the top when all I want is a couple of mouthfulls Blokes in the shower who decide it is the manly thing to hawk up a greener every couple of seconds and gob it out - go see a doctor ffs if one dosent clear out your tubes Bursds who will not use the machines in front of me - the only thing keeping me from getting bored on the treadmill is if I have a nice a$$ to look at Blokes in the gym changing room who walk about in the scud. If my winkle was that small, I would never be walking about with it limply trying to swing about in public. Folk with their physical trainer who insist on taking up about machines at the same time, and hogging 2 sets of weights to 'vary the routine as quickly as possible'. If you aren't using one, I WILL take them as we all pay the same basic membership fee. Obnoxious pretty boy types in the changing room who insist on getting changed in front of the mirror. Folk who insist they are cool by wearing the largest most obnoxious set of 'cans', usually Beats headphones. You look like a f@nny. Add 'folk who can't operate a rowing machine properly'. Never seen so many people who look like they are trying to limbo under the 'oar'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Looked after mine so they lasted a good few years dj'ing, probably due an upgrade soon though! Wrecked mine within a year. They came apart just at the swivel joint at the can. Was pretty gutted as I loved them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 "Politics is boring", "reading is boring", "cricket is boring", "history is boring". Nail on head. All shite things that make the world a duller place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Seagulls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Pure in Glasgow installing a Costa Express machine in the lobby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 If we're doing gym ones, I've got a few that irk me and this post will also test the capabilities of the swear filter... 1) ***** doing bicep curls in the squat rack. There are only two ******* racks in the whole gym but some ***** insist on doing their shitey and ineffective curls inside the racks just so they can look at themselves in the mirror. *****. 2) Arseholes and their ******* phones. Why are some people not capable of being separated from their phones for a period exceeding five minutes? Recently I was in and one gimp was playing with his phone whilst occupying a Smith machine (luckily I rarely use Smith machines but that's beside the point) I manged to work through six sets in the time it took him to do one. One. 3) Mother****ers using weights benches to hold their phones and towels. They're for doing weights on, not resting your shite you *****. 4) Arseholes dragging half the ******* dumbbells in gym over to their bench and taking an ice age to use them while others have to stand around like spare pricks waiting for weights that aren't even being used. 5) The fact gyms are often full of fairly useless things like cross-trainers, ab machines, those laughably puny pink weights, Swiss balls etc. and rarely have more than two squat racks. Gym memberships should include mandatory gym etiquette lessons and gyms should stop pandering to lazy middle-aged women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Gym memberships should include mandatory gym etiquette lessons and gyms should stop pandering to lazy middle-aged women. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Bursds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 People who piss all over the floor at work. I mean...wtf. Really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuthy2k Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 This. This +1. The stretching area at my gym (Nuffield in Aberdeen) is usually full of middle aged women folk using their stupid inflatable balls or 0.5kg weights. That or them lying on the ground doing some yoga style stretches - young bursd yes, older ones no thank you. Also, bursd using the weight machines and then putting them on the lightest setting possible - what is the point? Surely you cannot 'tone' your muscles lifting 2.5kg??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Folk who go to gyms rather than becoming lumberjacks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Also, bursd using the weight machines and then putting them on the lightest setting possible - what is the point? Surely you cannot 'tone' your muscles lifting 2.5kg??? Because (I know this because I spent a couple of years as an instructor/PT) women are deathly afraid of weights and for two reasons. 1) Because weights are difficult and most women in the gym don't like difficult - that's why you see them reading magazines while idly pedaling on the bikes. That's why body balance and zumba exist, because (most) women want to kid themselves that they're working towards a goal without actually doing the work to achieve said goal. 2) Because they have this downright moronic belief that lifting anything above 5 kg will turn them into gigantic she-hulks. If I had a pound for everytime I had to deconstruct that stupid belief, I could probably have bought Hearts a few years ago. Edited July 24, 2013 by Snake Plissken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Pure in Glasgow installing a Costa Express machine in the lobby Edited July 24, 2013 by Marvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 this post will also test the capabilities of the swear filter... Did it pass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
51 Shirts -Moments in Time Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 People not flushing the toilet after them at work! Filthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
He Who Cannot Be Named Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 95% of the human race. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 People not flushing the toilet after them at work! Filthy Mate of mine goes on about this. Apparently at his office there's often a load been dropped off and the manny b*****s don't bother to flush. Fortunately we're all a bit more dainty at my work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
51 Shirts -Moments in Time Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Mate of mine goes on about this. Apparently at his office there's often a load been dropped off and the manny b*****s don't bother to flush. Fortunately we're all a bit more dainty at my work. Have the same problem in this gaff, first thing in the morning not what you want to be looking at! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 What I don't get about the folk who don't flush is why they don't use toilet paper. Unless they've shat, wiped, flushed and the main log has stuck to the porcelain. Filth if not, tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Folk who go to gyms rather than becoming lumberjacks. Folk who think they are too intelligent to exercise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big D Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Nail on head. All shite things that make the world a duller place. I know you won't read this because it's boring, but all your posts are now history. Which is why no-one should read them. Because they're boring. My pet hate is people who don't get genius sarcasm on message boards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 ******* computer printers. Why don't they just ******* WORK. Every time, every ******* time there's some issue. 3 hours I've spent since I got home trying to print off one thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groot Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Have the same problem in this gaff, first thing in the morning not what you want to be looking at! I can beat that, walked into the toilets at work and someone had left shite (a proper shite not a smear) on the seat! I avoid that toilet now never mind the cubicle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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