IronJambo Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 1 hour ago, Morgan said: Thanks for sharing that. Let us know when the moment arrives. The magic happened last night after around 12 hours of trying. My bum hole expanded to epic proportions and my gigantic jobby squeezed through bit by bit. Was such a clean drop it only needed a single wipe. That's the 2nd challenge of the week taken care of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 1 hour ago, IronJambo said: The magic happened last night after around 12 hours of trying. My bum hole expanded to epic proportions and my gigantic jobby squeezed through bit by bit. Was such a clean drop it only needed a single wipe. That's the 2nd challenge of the week taken care of. 12 hours trying for a shite? If that was Morgan a 12 hour dump would involve 2 cases of Stella. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 20 minutes ago, superjack said: 12 hours trying for a shite? If that was Morgan a 12 hour dump would involve 2 cases of Stella. I missed out there then. I had a hernia op on Wednesday. Took an uncomfortable 24 hours to pish properly and then yesterday's challenge was a shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 3 hours ago, IronJambo said: The magic happened last night after around 12 hours of trying. My bum hole expanded to epic proportions and my gigantic jobby squeezed through bit by bit. Was such a clean drop it only needed a single wipe. That's the 2nd challenge of the week taken care of. Phew. I’ve been sweating about that all day. Not as much as you were probably though. 2 hours ago, superjack said: 12 hours trying for a shite? If that was Morgan a 12 hour dump would involve 2 cases of Stella. 2 cases - correct. Stella - no way. Heineken or Peroni for this baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 42 minutes ago, Morgan said: Phew. I’ve been sweating about that all day. Not as much as you were probably though. 2 cases - correct. Stella - no way. Heineken or Peroni for this baby. Ah, a man of class I see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 17 minutes ago, superjack said: Ah, a man of class I see. Thank you sir. San Miguel and Estrella are my other two passions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 The twats at the US golf with the constant "Dilly Dilly" shouts when Tiger plays. Assuming it's taken from the current Bud Light advert which is equally sh1t3 and seethe inducing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Just answered the house phone to find nobody there, mutants, Are these clowns for real, just speak oh wait be some automated machine dialling random numbers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Harry Potter said: Just answered the house phone to find nobody there, mutants, Are these clowns for real, just speak oh wait be some automated machine dialling random numbers. are you sure it was the phone you picked up and not a banana? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 18 minutes ago, Jefferson Davis Hogg said: are you sure it was the phone you picked up and not a banana? naw, deffo the phone, anyway next real person that phones, i wont be getting involved, on ignore, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 3 hours ago, Jefferson Davis Hogg said: are you sure it was the phone you picked up and not a banana? 3 hours ago, Harry Potter said: naw, deffo the phone, anyway next real person that phones, i wont be getting involved, on ignore, Harold? if the banana rings the night around 9 o’clock, go and pick up mate? It’ll be me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 9 minutes ago, Morgan said: Harold? if the banana rings the night around 9 o’clock, go and pick up mate? It’ll be me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimShoot Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 This ******* **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 51 minutes ago, AlimShoot said: This ******* **** He should either have just kept reversing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 RE the above parking space fiasco. I was trying to get parked at Ikea (a task worthy of a medal on completion!!). A space became available just as I passed it so with cars behind I pulled over just in front of it and put my indicator on to A. let the cars behind go past and not block the whole system and B. let them know I intended to reverse into it. Well I think you can guess where this is going? The bell end behind drove straight into it. Trying not to lose my rag I got out the car and tapped on his window. I then very politely explained my stance and that he should have carried on to find another space. He's having none of it. I then somehow managed to stop all 6ft 5" 17 stone of me ripping his scrawny erse out of his car and dropping him on his head. Instead I recommended (again very politely) that if he didn't move his car he would not have a car to drive home in once he had finished his shopping He moved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 1 hour ago, AlimShoot said: This ******* **** I'm seething more the driver appears to give up at the end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said: I'm seething more the driver appears to give up at the end! He's definitely a pussy. Unless it's staged, I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 4 minutes ago, Joey J J Jr Shabadoo said: He's definitely a pussy. Unless it's staged, I suppose. shes a prize zoomer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 17 minutes ago, Harry Potter said: shes a prize zoomer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 59 minutes ago, Joey J J Jr Shabadoo said: He's definitely a pussy. Unless it's staged, I suppose. Just drive forward at 1mph until you're nicely into the spot, then get up and leave? Surely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, VladMagic said: Trying not to lose my rag I got out the car and tapped on his window. I then very politely explained my stance and that he should have carried on to find another space. He's having none of it. I then somehow managed to stop all 6ft 5" 17 stone of me ripping his scrawny erse out of his car and dropping him on his head. Instead I recommended (again very politely) that if he didn't move his car he would not have a car to drive home in once he had finished his shopping He moved it. Congratulations for not physically assaulting someone far shorter and weaker than you over a parking space. You should be proud. No really, you should. Edited March 14, 2018 by peter_hmfc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 32 minutes ago, peter_hmfc said: Just drive forward at 1mph until you're nicely into the spot, then get up and leave? Surely? Pretty much, which ever way he was facing, just keep moving. They'll soon move. Or be under the wheels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 3 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: I'm seething more the driver appears to give up at the end! Aye, I would either have just turned off the engine and sat there giving them no communication, or parked up where I was and left the car blocking the space. Come back a few minutes later and they would be gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: I'm seething more the driver appears to give up at the end! Double. Edited March 14, 2018 by Sooperstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BM1874 Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 1) Mrs banged on and on and on about this glossybox thing she orders it on the 2nd of March and gets an update on her account (not an email confirmation!) saying it’s been dispatched on the 3rd and it usually takes 3-5 business days nothing by Friday so emailed Asking what’s going on, they reply on Sunday saying it’s not been dispatched, really sorry but will aim to do so in next 24 hours tuesday comes and still nothing, another message to repeat the same questions, same reply as apparently an issue at their warehouse giving it another 24 hours then going out barrels at them due to utter incompetence they have her money (small amount) but are just dicking about 2) stair light has been out since the snow fall 2 weeks ago, pretty unpleasant leaving early doors or leaving late at night, nothing sinister just pretty creepy. phoned agency 5 times and still not done, various issues but main is getting into the stair electric cupboard (locked by a key obtainable from agency) but not once have we had any update as to that happening same issue with tv aerial, need access to same cupboard. Thank the lord for on demand tv still working Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konrad von Carstein Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 1 hour ago, peter_hmfc said: Congratulations for not physically assaulting someone far shorter and weaker than you over a parking space. You should be proud. No really, you should. ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 1 hour ago, peter_hmfc said: Congratulations for not physically assaulting someone far shorter and weaker than you over a parking space. You should be proud. No really, you should. Wasn't you was it? Still got skid marks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 (edited) 9 minutes ago, VladMagic said: Wasn't you was it? Still got skid marks? Skid marks? I've still got the ****ing boot mark on my arse! In seriousness... no, for I do not drive. Edited March 14, 2018 by peter_hmfc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 2 minutes ago, peter_hmfc said: Skid marks? I've still got the ****ing boot mark on my arse! In seriousness... no, for I do not drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konrad von Carstein Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Dilly, Dilly.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 2 minutes ago, Konrad von Carstein said: Dilly, Dilly.... Scumbags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irufushi Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 6 hours ago, AlimShoot said: This ******* **** Would i **** be backing out of that space Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 7 hours ago, Barack said: Quite happily take them all to the pit of misery. Sadly, Bud have came up with another annoying catchphrase yet again, that will be used by ****ers the world over. Yeah, I mentioned it last week that there was a bunch following Tiger Woods last week that were shouting this. I think it's bound to happen tonight again but hopefully they get launched. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 Wankers on holiday that eat nice healthy muesli and yogurt for breakfast because it’s so ****ing healthy, while I tuck into the full fried under their smug gaze. Roll forward 2 hours and they are all starving so head to the cafes for coffee and, ****ing cake. Why are healthy eaters so fat? ****ing mingers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 Piss poor temperatures in Spain, better heat up before April. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thommo414 Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 5 hours ago, deesidejambo said: Wankers on holiday that eat nice healthy muesli and yogurt for breakfast because it’s so ****ing healthy, while I tuck into the full fried under their smug gaze. Roll forward 2 hours and they are all starving so head to the cafes for coffee and, ****ing cake. Why are healthy eaters so fat? ****ing mingers On a similar note, I work in a fast food place (not allowed to mention it by name on any social platform if I'm saying anything that might badmouth it or the customers, a seethe in itself). The amount of folk that come in and order the absolute fattest scran worth about 20 quid...plus a diet coke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 On 15/03/2018 at 08:20, deesidejambo said: Wankers on holiday that eat nice healthy muesli and yogurt for breakfast because it’s so ****ing healthy, while I tuck into the full fried under their smug gaze. Roll forward 2 hours and they are all starving so head to the cafes for coffee and, ****ing cake. Why are healthy eaters so fat? ****ing mingers What a waste of energy and time. At least I'm a fat bastird from not eating healthy food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Had a great afternoon in a pup watching the rugby, stopped at the Spar on the way home for wine, got Mrs Dawnrazor a bottle of Zinfadel which she says is lovley, got myself a bottle of Romanian Merlot.........feck me its bowfin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Romanian Merlot You were in a pup ?? Aye, she was a wee dug! 8 bloody quid the Romanian plonk cost, like polecats pish so it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 10 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Romanian Merlot You were in a pup ?? Considering who the poster is, there’s a very good chance that that’s not a typo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 6 minutes ago, iantjambo said: Considering who the poster is, there’s a very good chance that that’s not a typo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 1 hour ago, jonnothejambo said: Romanian Merlot You were in a pup ?? A pup? He’d be up a bottle of Merlot before you could say Romania. Maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Woof woof. Woof bark donkey!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 10 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: Romanian Merlot You were in a pup ?? ha hayou had to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 On 15/03/2018 at 13:56, Thommo414 said: On a similar note, I work in a fast food place (not allowed to mention it by name on any social platform if I'm saying anything that might badmouth it or the customers, a seethe in itself). The amount of folk that come in and order the absolute fattest scran worth about 20 quid...plus a diet coke Perhaps they prefer its taste. I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Candy Crush. So I've recently started playing this again.....i say playing....i seem to spend more time flicking through screens about magic hats, golden pigs, feeding sweets to whales, giving cake to baby dragons, finding treasure maps, putting stars in the sky and weird league tables about confectionery themed Islands. Let me just play the game you dicks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thommo414 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 2 hours ago, Samuel Camazzola said: Perhaps they prefer its taste. I do. I wouldn't doubt that some are indeed in that boat, it all just seems a tad off. Then again, I might not consider that because I think the "diet" drinks taste rank. Coke zero or Pepsi max any day for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 4 hours ago, Harry Potter said: ha hayou had to. He always does Harold, he always does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 2 hours ago, Der Kaiser said: Candy Crush. So I've recently started playing this again.....i say playing....i seem to spend more time flicking through screens about magic hats, golden pigs, feeding sweets to whales, giving cake to baby dragons, finding treasure maps, putting stars in the sky and weird league tables about confectionery themed Islands. Let me just play the game you dicks! My wife spends hours on Candy Crush Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 11 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: He likes a bit of ruff..... Woof woof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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