LeylandJambo Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I did that with clothes in a washing machine. The 6ft foam monster that came oozing out of the door seals and tablet tray was pretty cool though. Not allowed to use the Washing machine in my house Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My mishap cost me ?28 at the garage and ?50 in oil Would have been less oil had I not done something stupid when purchasing the oil..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Sheldon Cooper Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 STS most recent stupidity backs up one of my many random thoughts that basic car maintenance should be taught either in Schools as a module or even as part of the driving test. I was taught it by my step dad but it seems a lot of youngsters these days (mainly girls I find) don't have a clue on many basic things to do with the car. This thought has been borne out of the frustration of constantly having to go and change my sisters tyre when she was at the same Uni as me along with checking her oil etc as she didn't have a clue. When I passed three years ago I had to learn about checking oil levels, wear of tyres and what was under the bonnet etc when I was learning how to drive. You get asked two questions about the car itself before you can even set off although this may have changed since they re-did the testing slightly just after I passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 When I passed three years ago I had to learn about checking oil levels, wear of tyres and what was under the bonnet etc when I was learning how to drive. You get asked two questions about the car itself before you can even set off although this may have changed since they re-did the testing slightly just after I passed. I passed five years ago and it was the same but I just memorised it all then forgot it after I passed my test... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floyd Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 My mishap cost me ?28 at the garage and ?50 in oil Would have been less oil had I not done something stupid when purchasing the oil..... Don't tell me you poured it into the wrong part of the engine or all over the engine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory House M.D. Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Don't tell me you poured it into the wrong part of the engine or all over the engine. She bought the wee ?10 bottle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Clare you should get a motorbike imo. Much safer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floyd Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 She bought the wee ?10 bottle Ha ha ha!!!! My next guess was going to be cooking oil instead of motor oil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Recently had to get some work done in the kitchen in our flat which tonight has transpired to have left a couple of nice holes for mice to get in! I had no idea until my flatmate told me when I got in from work so I said I would pick up some traps tomorrow on my way home, she says it's ok she's off and wants to get humane ones anyway. A wile later she comes back from the shops with a temporary solution, she must have heard that steel wool was good for blocking the entrance so bought scouring pads to stuff in the holes until we get traps. That would be ok but she bought the green plastic scouring cloths and simply laid them over the holes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Buaben Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Clare you're a ******* plank This Actually am sure Clare told me something stupid and to the Life of me I cant remember what it was Although there is a girl in team who comes out with some belters on a daily basis. Recent ones have included telling us a story of her having a row with her sister for taking a backpack on a bus because you are not allowed them on buses due to safety risks. Randomly whilst watching a bit of Wimbledon she did ask what tennis players did with their lives between Wimbledon finishing and starting again. Also she has booked a holiday to Bulgaria recently and we were discussing how long the flight would be and she told us that it was fine as she had been to Spain before. Turns out she thought that Bulgaria was a Spanish resort. Then asked If it wasn't Spanish they spoke then what was it and could she a dictionary in that language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caspian Primrose Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 one of the most stupid things ive done was walk across the forth railway bridge steamin. fell asleep on the last train and missed Dalmeny but woke up just before North Queensferry. had no money for a taxi and seemed like a good idea at the time. was lucky no trains went past as i staggered over. couldnt resist chucking something over the edge so jumped onto the track and found a 12ft pole. woke up all the gulls on inch garvey as it crashed into the water. the forth estuary was alive with noise from my drunken idiocy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulleted_jambo Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 one of the most stupid things ive done was walk across the forth railway bridge steamin. fell asleep on the last train and missed Dalmeny but woke up just before North Queensferry. had no money for a taxi and seemed like a good idea at the time. was lucky no trains went past as i staggered over. couldnt resist chucking something over the edge so jumped onto the track and found a 12ft pole. woke up all the gulls on inch garvey as it crashed into the water. the forth estuary was alive with noise from my drunken idiocy. Haha I thought I'd done some stupid things when drunk but nothing that daft. Brilliant thread by the way, had a less than productive afternoon at work due to this thread. A good one was on holiday one year and my mate decided to hide one of our other mates phone when drunk. Anyway the next morning they guy came through drinking a cup of tea asking "has anyone seen my phone?" They guy who hid it was pi$$ing himself laughing and revealed he had hidden his phone in the kettle the night before. Low and behold we went and checked the kettle and inside was a boiled phone. I remember when I was very young and on my way to school we stopped to speak to a neighbour. The neighbour had a dog and I was a bit scared of it. Anyway my mum told me to go and clap the dog. So as a young naive lad I stood and gave the dog a round of applause. Got slagged about that for ages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Draper Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 one of the most stupid things ive done was walk across the forth railway bridge steamin. fell asleep on the last train and missed Dalmeny but woke up just before North Queensferry. had no money for a taxi and seemed like a good idea at the time. was lucky no trains went past as i staggered over. couldnt resist chucking something over the edge so jumped onto the track and found a 12ft pole. woke up all the gulls on inch garvey as it crashed into the water. the forth estuary was alive with noise from my drunken idiocy. Classic. I've missed Dalmeny a few times, but never thought of doing that, tbh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Classic. I've missed Dalmeny a few times, but never thought of doing that, tbh... Never missed it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Cheever Loophole Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 It wouldn't be the first time I've put the milk carton in the washing machine,the kettle in the fridge and that's after pouring the boiled water in the coffee jar.When my days start like this it's all downhill after that. I seem to get in the shower with my socks on quite a lot anaw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budda Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 I just went shooting with a .22 air rifle in my bedroom shooting over to the attic space. It was a good idea until a pellet bounced back it was a close call :-D The joys of living alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckandcover Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 I just went shooting with a .22 air rifle in my bedroom shooting over to the attic space. It was a good idea until a pellet bounced back it was a close call :-D The joys of living alone Bloody hell, you're having quite a time of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budda Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Bloody hell, you're having quite a time of it. Yeah I know. You would think at 24 I would know better than to play with guns indoors but still could be worse I could be doing that sexy lass again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Saw someone mentioning stupid things that others have said. Will always remind me of a Welsh girl I shared a room with in Ibiza, definitely the dumbest girl ever in terms of general knowledge. Once asked if John Lennon was in Blur. And was insistent that the capital city of Spain was Portugal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Stupid thing said by Geordie lass up visiting a mate. He took her down to Silverknowes and pointing up the river he said that's the Forth Rail Bridge. She asked him where the other three were! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Buck Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 I done something stupid today. I was angry at some stupid thing, so I punched my bedroom door and fractured my hand. What an idiot I am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 Never missed it Back when I was at school. Me and my mate after a drinking session jumped on the last midland bus which goes along Queensferry Road. We both fell asleep and woke up miles past our stops - I was only getting off opposite the RHS and he was supposed to be going down by your way (if I am not mistaken - he stayed close to the bowling club) . Both of us got woken up at the end of the bus journey by the driver, miles past our stops. He asked us where we were supposed to have been getting off. After we told him and as he was returning to Edinburgh he dropped us both off and had a laugh at our expense especially when we both asked for a childs fare when we got on at the start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergio Garcia Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 When I passed three years ago I had to learn about checking oil levels, wear of tyres and what was under the bonnet etc when I was learning how to drive. You get asked two questions about the car itself before you can even set off although this may have changed since they re-did the testing slightly just after I passed. I passed when I was 18 and didnt have to do this at that time Still baffles me how people don't bother to retain this info, its kinda important to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Lecter Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Just remembered one from when I went to see Titanic in 3D. At the bit where Rose and Jack are clinging on to the bit of wreckage a girl a couple of rows behind turns to her friend and asks does she (Rose) die. Trying not to laugh or turn around and ask how the hell she could be telling the story over 80 years later if she dies then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HampdenHearts Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Speaking to english bursds last year in magaluf, typical dumb blonde essex girls, thought we would wind them up... Asked one of them as a tester.. "whats the capital of scotland" "glasgow" she replies. Her friend butts in quickly, "you're so stupid michelle its the capital of wales" Another one in the group thought we used the euro! I don't know how alot of the english are so stupid/ignorant when it comes to these things!? Still took one of the dipshits back to the hotel for a seeing to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Drinking Jagerbombs when I'm allergic to red bull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Drinking Jagerbombs when I'm allergic to red bull You deserve a thread all to yourself ya numpty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 You deserve a thread all to yourself ya numpty Or there was the toilets on the trains where you have to press to close the door then press to lock it. I couldn't figure this out and the people I was with kept pressing "open" from the outside and I was getting more and more frustrated wondering why the door wouldn't close Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I just remembered a bad one from 3-4 years back. I was attending Jewel & Esk college at Eskbank, doing a vocational module, and I was in class needing a dump big time. During the break, I rushed ahead of everyone to get to the bogs, shut the door of the cubicle, dropped kegs, then out with the brown filth.....aaaaaahhhhh, that's better! As I sat there I noticed something strange. My junk was pressed against the inside of the bowl. I thought, I'm a big laddie But then, to my horror and confusion, I heard young girls chatting to one another, and one tried in vain to open the cubicle I was in. You guessed it, I'd gone into the wrong toilets, and that's why my nuts were up against the inside of the toilet bowl. I didn't know the girls had different pans in their bogs. Anyway, I waited for the coast to clear, and scampered out of there as fast as I could. Luckily no one saw me, and I didn't have to start taking hostages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budda Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I just remembered a bad one from 3-4 years back. I was attending Jewel & Esk college at Eskbank, doing a vocational module, and I was in class needing a dump big time. During the break, I rushed ahead of everyone to get to the bogs, shut the door of the cubicle, dropped kegs, then out with the brown filth.....aaaaaahhhhh, that's better! As I sat there I noticed something strange. My junk was pressed against the inside of the bowl. I thought, I'm a big laddie But then, to my horror and confusion, I heard young girls chatting to one another, and one tried in vain to open the cubicle I was in. You guessed it, I'd gone into the wrong toilets, and that's why my nuts were up against the inside of the toilet bowl. I didn't know the girls had different pans in their bogs. Anyway, I waited for the coast to clear, and scampered out of there as fast as I could. Luckily no one saw me, and I didn't have to start taking hostages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I'm at the airport, and just realised I've forgotten to bring the details of the villa I'm supposed to be staying at. Mrs O is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I'm at the airport, and just realised I've forgotten to bring the details of the villa I'm supposed to be staying at. Mrs O is Ooft... Do you get on the plane and try and get someone to get into your house when you get there, or pay for new flights? That's a beauty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Ooft... Do you get on the plane and try and get someone to get into your house when you get there, or pay for new flights? That's a beauty! Managed to get my mum to text me the details, just before I boarded the plane. It was touch and go for a while though, because my flight was early in the morning, and initially she wasn't answering the phone. I'm in the villa now in Lanzarote, so all's well that ends well. Can't sleep though, which is why I'm on JKB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Bill Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 A couple of years ago, just after my son was born, one of my wife's workmates popped round to see the new baby. I answered the door and gave her a kiss on the cheek but it seemed a little awkward, as if it wasn't appreciated or something (she must be a lezzer, imo ) But then she seemed to lean the other way, as if she was then offering me her other cheek, like one of those 'kiss both my cheeks' thingys. Anyway, I lurched forward to kiss her other cheek, but it turns out she was just leaning to the side to get a glimpse of the baby through the glass door, and I ended up completley off balance, sort of falling into her with a near head-butt freash air kiss! Needless to say I just kept out the way until she pissed off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 A couple of years ago, just after my son was born, one of my wife's workmates popped round to see the new baby. I answered the door and gave her a kiss on the cheek but it seemed a little awkward, as if it wasn't appreciated or something (she must be a lezzer, imo ) But then she seemed to lean the other way, as if she was then offering me her other cheek, like one of those 'kiss both my cheeks' thingys. Anyway, I lurched forward to kiss her other cheek, but it turns out she was just leaning to the side to get a glimpse of the baby through the glass door, and I ended up completley off balance, sort of falling into her with a near head-butt freash air kiss! Needless to say I just kept out the way until she pissed off! I was at a friends for Christmas dinner one year, and members of the friends family arrived all at once. The first 3-4 folk were women, so I gave them a kiss on the cheek, followed by "Merry Christmas". (as you do) But, my brain must have switched to auto pilot, because when my mate's brother approached me, I kissed him on the cheek as well. He gave me funny look. Kind of like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Bill Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I was at a friends for Christmas dinner one year, and members of the friends family arrived all at once. The first 3-4 folk were women, so I gave them a kiss on the cheek, followed by "Merry Christmas". (as you do) But, my brain must have switched to auto pilot, because when my mate's brother approached me, I kissed him on the cheek as well. He gave me funny look. Kind of like Especially as you were holding mistletoe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Especially as you were holding mistletoe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Captain O. Have you ever thought that you might be...a bit of a muppet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Captain O. Have you ever thought that you might be...a bit of a muppet? Well, I am fond of cookies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I turned up a full 7 days early heading for a booze up in Dublin. Pretty embarrassing at the check-in desk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I turned up a full 7 days early heading for a booze up in Dublin. Pretty embarrassing at the check-in desk. I done this for a job interview Got the job though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I done this for a job interview Got the job though. They mustve thought you were keen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I done this for a job interview Got the job though. Turned up for my first job interview in Bristol 24 hours late and was offered the job on the same day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I organised a mob of us to go to Orkney to visit some mates then booked the wrong hols off work. They went, I worked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johanes de Silentio Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Just sat on one of my baws! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC4ME Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I once put my thumb in the loop of a dough hook to see if it would just corkscrew around my thumb, well it did.....until my thumb got to the end and got a big chunk of skin ripped off. i was 21 lol don't know why that ever seemed like a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Great Khali Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 Just sat on one of my baws! Saggy baws Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 There is not a day goes by without me doing something stupid. Im legendary for it or as someone tried to say nicely I am a bit scatty 1 that I get abuse a lot for is when leaving a message on someones answer machine asking them to phone me back by saying 'if I am not in I will be out' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Anybody that was at Falkirk tonight will know that there's a train track that you can see from the stand...there was some sort of goods train with crates on it going along the track...one was an asda crate...I asked "Why is there an asda lorry on the railway line?" Got absolutely ripped for it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 When I was on my honeymoon in Yosemite national park in California, there were many signs warning us about the danger of bears. One evening, Mrs O and I were sitting in our lodge room, getting ready to go for dinner, when there was a knock at our door. As I went to see who was at the door, mrs O grabbed my arm and, with no hint of irony, said, "No, don't answer that. What if it's a bear"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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