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depression

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Thommo414
30 minutes ago, LeftBack said:

Struggling today folks. Side effects of drugs kicked in. Very dark thoughts. Ill get there though. Just thought id reach out 

On the same stuff as yourself (150 mg). I can't say I have dark thoughts all too often unfortunately so I may not be much help but just keep going, you will come out the other side much better! 

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LeftBack
Just now, Morgan said:

Shit, G, sorry to hear that, mate 

 

Please, please take care and for Christ's sake, don't do anything daft.

 

Keep us/me informed.

 

PM if you like?

Thanks mate. Im getting there. Its not nice. I know its maybe not the best idea but am getting half season ticket. Miss going to tynecastle no matter how bad we are. Its somewhere i feel settled. Mon the jts

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LeftBack

How are folks doing? Side effects eased off but still not feeling great. 

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Special Officer Doofy

Been a while since I was in the shed.
 

I am now the well-being champion for my work, and founded the well-being and mental health committee. Secured an annual budget for our group too.

 

Got my health anxiety under control, and my depression is virtually non-existent. Still have the odd bout if I have too much too drink. Usually the day after or that night. Think I’m about to have a heart attack. Weird to explain if people don’t already know what your talking about.

 

Doing the mental health first aid course soon. I’ll post my thoughts.

 

❤️

 

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Angry Haggis
6 hours ago, Icon of Symmetry said:

Been a while since I was in the shed.
 

I am now the well-being champion for my work, and founded the well-being and mental health committee. Secured an annual budget for our group too.

 

Got my health anxiety under control, and my depression is virtually non-existent. Still have the odd bout if I have too much too drink. Usually the day after or that night. Think I’m about to have a heart attack. Weird to explain if people don’t already know what your talking about.

 

Doing the mental health first aid course soon. I’ll post my thoughts.

 

❤️

 

 

That’s awesome stuff. Good luck. 

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Morgan
12 hours ago, Icon of Symmetry said:

Been a while since I was in the shed.
 

I am now the well-being champion for my work, and founded the well-being and mental health committee. Secured an annual budget for our group too.

 

Got my health anxiety under control, and my depression is virtually non-existent. Still have the odd bout if I have too much too drink. Usually the day after or that night. Think I’m about to have a heart attack. Weird to explain if people don’t already know what your talking about.

 

Doing the mental health first aid course soon. I’ll post my thoughts.

 

❤️

 

Good on you, Mothy.  

 

Be interesting to read your thoughts in due course.

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AlphonseCapone
22 hours ago, Icon of Symmetry said:

Been a while since I was in the shed.
 

I am now the well-being champion for my work, and founded the well-being and mental health committee. Secured an annual budget for our group too.

 

Got my health anxiety under control, and my depression is virtually non-existent. Still have the odd bout if I have too much too drink. Usually the day after or that night. Think I’m about to have a heart attack. Weird to explain if people don’t already know what your talking about.

 

Doing the mental health first aid course soon. I’ll post my thoughts.

 

❤️

 

 

Good stuff mate. Massive issue for me too, rare to find others that understand it.

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Special Officer Doofy
43 minutes ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

Good stuff mate. Massive issue for me too, rare to find others that understand it.


I think it’s just that people find it hard to talk about it in an honest and Frank manner. It took me about three years to understand what it was myself. Went from having never experienced an attack to BOOM! Thought I was dying. Scary shit and it does still happen occasionally.


It helps to read or listen to other people’s accounts and experiences because even though you know it isn’t a heart attack, you can’t always convince yourself that is not the case when it occurs. 
 

It’s so weird, I can only really compare it to a bad trip if I’m honest. You know you are fine, you know nothing seriously bad is physically happening to you, but your brain has other ideas and works against you. The Adrenalin and serotonin create feelings of dread and your logical mind loses the battle.

 

I find that if I can believe that other people experience the same thing, then it helps me win the battle with my mind and convince myself I’m not about to die. Hopefully reading this will mean others can relate and say ‘yes, that’s what it feels like for me too’.
 

 

 

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Zlatanable
1 hour ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

Good stuff mate. Massive issue for me too, rare to find others that understand it.

 

39 minutes ago, Icon of Symmetry said:


I think it’s just that people find it hard to talk about it in an honest and Frank manner. It took me about three years to understand what it was myself. Went from having never experienced an attack to BOOM! Thought I was dying. Scary shit and it does still happen occasionally.


It helps to read or listen to other people’s accounts and experiences because even though you know it isn’t a heart attack, you can’t always convince yourself that is not the case when it occurs. 
 

It’s so weird, I can only really compare it to a bad trip if I’m honest. You know you are fine, you know nothing seriously bad is physically happening to you, but your brain has other ideas and works against you. The Adrenalin and serotonin create feelings of dread and your logical mind loses the battle.

 

I find that if I can believe that other people experience the same thing, then it helps me win the battle with my mind and convince myself I’m not about to die. Hopefully reading this will mean others can relate and say ‘yes, that’s what it feels like for me too’.
 

 

 

Anxiety about one's own health is quite common and understandable.

 

It hasn't been a regular factor for me recently. I had 'I am going to die in my sleep' thoughts a lot a while back, b4 that everything could have been cancer.

I now consider every pain a pre-cursor to a heart-attack in a public place, a little bit. But I am more resistant to the fear, cos I know that anxiety and fear are in my mind. 

(And I know that cos I have had practise)  

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Special Officer Doofy
8 hours ago, Zlatanable said:

 

Anxiety about one's own health is quite common and understandable.

 

It hasn't been a regular factor for me recently. I had 'I am going to die in my sleep' thoughts a lot a while back, b4 that everything could have been cancer.

I now consider every pain a pre-cursor to a heart-attack in a public place, a little bit. But I am more resistant to the fear, cos I know that anxiety and fear are in my mind. 

(And I know that cos I have had practise)  


It’s a recognised condition. The mental side feeds off any little aches or pains or pseudo-symptoms, and in turn the mental side causes more pseudo-symptoms. The end result is physical symptoms and mental anxiety/panic attack feeding off each other and making each other worse. It should just be a case of being able to say ‘this is anxiety, it’s not a heart attack’ or similar, but your mental state during an attack often prevents this.

 

 

Edited by Icon of Symmetry

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AlphonseCapone
11 hours ago, Zlatanable said:

 

Anxiety about one's own health is quite common and understandable.

 

It hasn't been a regular factor for me recently. I had 'I am going to die in my sleep' thoughts a lot a while back, b4 that everything could have been cancer.

I now consider every pain a pre-cursor to a heart-attack in a public place, a little bit. But I am more resistant to the fear, cos I know that anxiety and fear are in my mind. 

(And I know that cos I have had practise)  

 

It is but it can become completely consuming and obsessive, which then can be come debilitating and make enjoying things difficult because you're too busy obsessively worrying about your health to enjoy whatever moment you're in. I've almost not gone on holiday because of it. And unfortunately most people, in my experience, tell you you're just worrying for nothing and if it was serious you'd know about it. Not exactly the best advice. 

 

On the sleep thing, I still have serious issues with my sleep because I'm convinced I won't wake up from it.

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Special Officer Doofy
5 minutes ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

It is but it can become completely consuming and obsessive, which then can be come debilitating and make enjoying things difficult because you're too busy obsessively worrying about your health to enjoy whatever moment you're in. I've almost not gone on holiday because of it. And unfortunately most people, in my experience, tell you you're just worrying for nothing and if it was serious you'd know about it. Not exactly the best advice. 

 

On the sleep thing, I still have serious issues with my sleep because I'm convinced I won't wake up from it.


I hear you. I know nothing about your lifestyle, but what worked for me, was stopping drinking, going to the gym and improving my diet. Gave up booze for six weeks, lifted weights, got back running again, and attended a regular exercise HITT class. Felt like a new man. No attacks in that time. 

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Jambo-Jimbo
23 hours ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

It is but it can become completely consuming and obsessive, which then can be come debilitating and make enjoying things difficult because you're too busy obsessively worrying about your health to enjoy whatever moment you're in. I've almost not gone on holiday because of it. And unfortunately most people, in my experience, tell you you're just worrying for nothing and if it was serious you'd know about it. Not exactly the best advice. 

 

On the sleep thing, I still have serious issues with my sleep because I'm convinced I won't wake up from it.

 

Been there myself mate, and it ain’t a nice place to be.

 

I’d never really had a problem with sleep until I had a heart attack, then for weeks later I was convinced that if I went to sleep I wouldn’t wake up again, that somehow by going to sleep my heart would just stop, that by staying awake I was in control of my heart, absolutely completely irrational I know, but that’s what I thought.

 

Long story short, I knew I had to do something about this, so I began to think about the reasons why I was afraid of dying in my sleep, and then I thought about the million other ways that I could die, such as from cancer or dementia to name but two, of lingering in pain for weeks or months or not remembering who any of my family were, it quickly became apparent to me that compared with that, then the thought of dying in my sleep didn’t seem that scary a prospect anymore, in fact the more I thought about it, it became a much better option than the vast majority of ways to go, no pain and I wouldn’t know anything about it, christ I wouldn’t even know that I was deid.

 

When I compared all of that to the other ways that I could go, the fear of dying in my sleep very quickly left and now 8 years down the line, it has never returned not even once.

 

Can’t say that type of rationale would work for anyone else, but it’s how I dealt with it and it worked for me.

 

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Zlatanable

I saw the story about David Cox, Cowdenbeath player, today and I thought about this thread. 

 

 

 

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LeftBack

Arguably the best thing that has come out of my mental health issues is the support i have received from friends and family because i acknowledged i had a problem. Mental health was something that happened to others, not me. Im a man. I can deal with it. I know it is a cliche but don't wait til you are in hospital and have to take drugs and therapy. See when you go out with a mate and they seem different... Ffs it might be hard and embarrassing but be a friend and ask them if they are ok. 

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Special Officer Doofy
35 minutes ago, LeftBack said:

Arguably the best thing that has come out of my mental health issues is the support i have received from friends and family because i acknowledged i had a problem. Mental health was something that happened to others, not me. Im a man. I can deal with it. I know it is a cliche but don't wait til you are in hospital and have to take drugs and therapy. See when you go out with a mate and they seem different... Ffs it might be hard and embarrassing but be a friend and ask them if they are ok. 


Good post. Made me think.

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Zlatanable

The JambosKickback depression thread. 

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LeftBack
Just now, Zlatanable said:

The JambosKickback depression thread. 

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Zlatanable
Just now, LeftBack said:

just bumping it

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LeftBack
Just now, Zlatanable said:

just bumping it

Ok buddy. 

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Zlatanable

'If you or someone you know is going through a tough time, you're not alone. Our partner Samaritans can help - call freephone 116 123 or email [email protected]'

 

Maybe expect to wait up to a minute if phoning. 

 

 

Edited by Zlatanable

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LeftBack

So... The seraltine has definitely worked well for me. By god the side effects were horrific. I used to think that people exaggerated side effects (again because i had no experience). But almost literally one day i woke up and my brain was like... "leftback is back... You can do it". I feel so much stronger. "friends" on a football forum... Reach out if you are struggling because you will be anazed at how much support there is. We are not all arseholes... Well... 

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LeftBack
Just now, Zlatanable said:

If you or someone you know is going through a tough time, you're not alone. Our partner Samaritans can help - call freephone 116 123 or email [email protected]

:spoton:

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cannonfoda
14 hours ago, LeftBack said:

So... The seraltine has definitely worked well for me. By god the side effects were horrific. I used to think that people exaggerated side effects (again because i had no experience). But almost literally one day i woke up and my brain was like... "leftback is back... You can do it". I feel so much stronger. "friends" on a football forum... Reach out if you are struggling because you will be anazed at how much support there is. We are not all arseholes... Well... 

I was placed on this and ended up having to change to prozac as the side effects were awful.  It takes 6 weeks to see a difference and still have rubbish days but these are getting fewer.  

 

Biggest thing for me was to talk to people.  I'm a pretty quiet bloke and found it so hard to speak about what was happening.  It felt like death by a million paper cuts each little thing making it harder to deal with.  There's shame that you cannot deal with things which takes ages to get over.

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Ron Burgundy
6 minutes ago, cannonfoda said:

I was placed on this and ended up having to change to prozac as the side effects were awful.  It takes 6 weeks to see a difference and still have rubbish days but these are getting fewer.  

 

Biggest thing for me was to talk to people.  I'm a pretty quiet bloke and found it so hard to speak about what was happening.  It felt like death by a million paper cuts each little thing making it harder to deal with.  There's shame that you cannot deal with things which takes ages to get over.

What are  the side effects? Someone close to me has been put on Fluoxetine. I have no idea if they have any side effects and they are not particularly open when I raise the subject so don't push it in case they just shut me out completely.

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Robbo-Jambo
On 06/12/2019 at 23:36, LeftBack said:

Arguably the best thing that has come out of my mental health issues is the support i have received from friends and family because i acknowledged i had a problem. Mental health was something that happened to others, not me. Im a man. I can deal with it. I know it is a cliche but don't wait til you are in hospital and have to take drugs and therapy. See when you go out with a mate and they seem different... Ffs it might be hard and embarrassing but be a friend and ask them if they are ok. 

Good Post LB 👍

 

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cannonfoda
9 minutes ago, Ron Burgundy said:

What are  the side effects? Someone close to me has been put on Fluoxetine. I have no idea if they have any side effects and they are not particularly open when I raise the subject so don't push it in case they just shut me out completely.

Side effects for me on sertraline was felt like head was in a vice 24/7 imagine 3 day hangover but without the beer.  Add to that total insomnia and it was grim.  Felt like ending it.

 

Doctor was amazing.  Got changed straight away and fluoxetine (prozac) seems to be working.  

 

I went from taking 2 days sick in 20 years to being off for 3 months.... even now think I've went back too soon.  

 

 

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LeftBack
Just now, cannonfoda said:

Side effects for me on sertraline was felt like head was in a vice 24/7 imagine 3 day hangover but without the beer.  Add to that total insomnia and it was grim.  Felt like ending it.

 

Doctor was amazing.  Got changed straight away and fluoxetine (prozac) seems to be working.  

 

I went from taking 2 days sick in 20 years to being off for 3 months.... even now think I've went back too soon.  

 

 

For me it was sweats, shaking, a constant dull headache and upset guts. And the insomnia. Plus half way through it made stress and anxiety so bad i had very dark thoughts and tried to cut myself. But i got through it. 

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The Real Maroonblood
4 hours ago, LeftBack said:

For me it was sweats, shaking, a constant dull headache and upset guts. And the insomnia. Plus half way through it made stress and anxiety so bad i had very dark thoughts and tried to cut myself. But i got through it. 

Was your appetite also affected?

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LeftBack

Kind of. Eating a lot of crap but also the guts spewing it out. 

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The Real Maroonblood
25 minutes ago, LeftBack said:

Kind of. Eating a lot of crap but also the guts spewing it out. 

Someone close has similar symptoms what you described.

Anyway best wishes to you and take care.

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Ritchez

Not experienced any issues on Setraline. Intact it's been life changing.

 

Started off on 50mg a day, now on 100mg a day. I'm genuinely a different man.

 

Don't know where I would be without it. I was previously on Citalopram and it made no difference, but Setraline has been a game changer. 

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LeftBack
Just now, The Real Maroonblood said:

Someone close has similar symptoms what you described.

Anyway best wishes to you and take care.

Pm me if you want to discuss mate

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LeftBack
Just now, Ritchez said:

Not experienced any issues on Setraline. Intact it's been life changing.

 

Started off on 50mg a day, now on 100mg a day. I'm genuinely a different man.

 

Don't know where I would be without it. I was previously on Citalopram and it made no difference, but Setraline has been a game changer. 

Totally game changer. But you were lucky to avoid side effects 

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The Real Maroonblood
3 minutes ago, LeftBack said:

Pm me if you want to discuss mate

Thanks for the offer and will bear it in mind.

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LeftBack
Just now, The Real Maroonblood said:

Thanks for the offer and will bear it in mind.

Just to confirm that your profile pic is you??! 

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jack D and coke

This thread has to be one of KB’s finest moments. Strange to see posters who I see having a laugh and joke on other threads then a quick look on here and it’s them baring their soul and reaching out for some help and offering advice too. 
Good luck and keep it up guys👍🏼

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LeftBack
Just now, jack D and coke said:

This thread has to be one of KB’s finest moments. Strange to see posters who I see having a laugh and joke on other threads then a quick look on here and it’s them baring their soul and reaching out for some help and offering advice too. 
Good luck and keep it up guys👍🏼

Anyone who wants a chat pm me. Apart from.....! 

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jack D and coke
1 minute ago, LeftBack said:

Anyone who wants a chat pm me. Apart from.....! 

Me??😕

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LeftBack
Just now, jack D and coke said:

Me??😕

Ha! No mate 

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jack D and coke
Just now, LeftBack said:

Ha! No mate 

:lol: 

Just checking. 

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The Real Maroonblood
1 hour ago, LeftBack said:

Just to confirm that your profile pic is you??! 

No but I would back in the day.

Madeline Smith.^_^

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Takis4king

Been a very hard year personally. End of last year, my fiancee of 7 years left me, kept on good terms and still believed things would work out due to things i was told then in July dropped it on me she had someone else. Been feeling pathetic that i am still missing her and really finding it tough at this time of year. My 30th birthday is at start of January and it should be a time for celebration but I can see the whole period far enough. 

 

The tough thing for me is i try and put an act on, i seem like a happy go lucky guy but having moved back in with parents, as soon as I come through the door, i constantly breakdown, this is the side no one sees. I dont drink so basically my life is work, golf and watching Hearts home and away. To me it feels sad that my life does to an extent revolve around a football club but ita genuinely the only enjoyment i get, if you can call it that.

 

I was on Citalopram for a good few years and was made to feel by my ex that taking tablets were a bad thing, that i was a 'psycho' whenever i was having a down day. So i stopped taking the tablets and it was the worst thing i could have done. 

 

Anyway, just seemed good to type that out, it isnt something i openly talk about very much at all, but i know talking can really help and its important for anyone to do that whenever possible. My PMs are open for anyone who is having any problems, its a long journey but its one i know and hope everyone can conquer. 

 

Cheers and hope everyone has a cracking Christmas (and an even better Boxing day!) 

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Takis4king
17 minutes ago, Takis4king said:

Been a very hard year personally. End of last year, my fiancee of 7 years left me, kept on good terms and still believed things would work out due to things i was told then in July dropped it on me she had someone else. Been feeling pathetic that i am still missing her and really finding it tough at this time of year. My 30th birthday is at start of January and it should be a time for celebration but I can see the whole period far enough. 

 

The tough thing for me is i try and put an act on, i seem like a happy go lucky guy but having moved back in with parents, as soon as I come through the door, i constantly breakdown, this is the side no one sees. I dont drink so basically my life is work, golf and watching Hearts home and away. To me it feels sad that my life does to an extent revolve around a football club but ita genuinely the only enjoyment i get, if you can call it that.

 

I was on Citalopram for a good few years and was made to feel by my ex that taking tablets were a bad thing, that i was a 'psycho' whenever i was having a down day. So i stopped taking the tablets and it was the worst thing i could have done. 

 

Anyway, just seemed good to type that out, it isnt something i openly talk about very much at all, but i know talking can really help and its important for anyone to do that whenever possible. My PMs are open for anyone who is having any problems, its a long journey but its one i know and hope everyone can conquer. 

 

Cheers and hope everyone has a cracking Christmas (and an even better Boxing day!) 

As an addition to the above, the reason for splitting was given due to her not being able to handle someone with mental health who may feel anxious in busy places, have down days etc. This has just made me even less confident than normal, confidence is a big issue for me. Just feels like if someone you loved for 7 years cant handle these issues with you, then who ever will!? 

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jack D and coke
20 minutes ago, Takis4king said:

Been a very hard year personally. End of last year, my fiancee of 7 years left me, kept on good terms and still believed things would work out due to things i was told then in July dropped it on me she had someone else. Been feeling pathetic that i am still missing her and really finding it tough at this time of year. My 30th birthday is at start of January and it should be a time for celebration but I can see the whole period far enough. 

 

The tough thing for me is i try and put an act on, i seem like a happy go lucky guy but having moved back in with parents, as soon as I come through the door, i constantly breakdown, this is the side no one sees. I dont drink so basically my life is work, golf and watching Hearts home and away. To me it feels sad that my life does to an extent revolve around a football club but ita genuinely the only enjoyment i get, if you can call it that.

 

I was on Citalopram for a good few years and was made to feel by my ex that taking tablets were a bad thing, that i was a 'psycho' whenever i was having a down day. So i stopped taking the tablets and it was the worst thing i could have done. 

 

Anyway, just seemed good to type that out, it isnt something i openly talk about very much at all, but i know talking can really help and its important for anyone to do that whenever possible. My PMs are open for anyone who is having any problems, its a long journey but its one i know and hope everyone can conquer. 

 

Cheers and hope everyone has a cracking Christmas (and an even better Boxing day!) 

Mate use this place as much as you need. Im in my forties now and I’ve been through all sorts of break ups and losses etc and although never taken tablets for stuff I’ve been extremely down at certain times. I just couldn’t ever bring myself to talk about any of it to anyone and just drank and took drugs and shit to try make things better and of course that really isn’t the way to get better at all. I read somewhere that life is like surfing and that when the big waves hit you at first they totally overwhelm you but you get better at seeing them coming and riding them out and it’s true. You start to see the feelings coming the 2nd and 3rd and 4th time and can make adjustments I think to make sure they don’t take real hold again. 
Ive seen friends die with horrible illnesses and others suffer tragic luck and I’m thankful I’m here and I’m still healthy. You can fix the rest man you just need to give yourself some time and don’t be harsh on yourself cos I know I was. 
Enjoy your golf and watching Hearts cos it’s a beautiful thing getting together with your pals, having beers and a laugh. 
Look forward to the new year👍🏼

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Takis4king
2 minutes ago, jack D and coke said:

Mate use this place as much as you need. Im in my forties now and I’ve been through all sorts of break ups and losses etc and although never taken tablets for stuff I’ve been extremely down at certain times. I just couldn’t ever bring myself to talk about any of it to anyone and just drank and took drugs and shit to try make things better and of course that really isn’t the way to get better at all. I read somewhere that life is like surfing and that when the big waves hit you at first they totally overwhelm you but you get better at seeing them coming and riding them out and it’s true. You start to see the feelings coming the 2nd and 3rd and 4th time and can make adjustments I think to make sure they don’t take real hold again. 
Ive seen friends die with horrible illnesses and others suffer tragic luck and I’m thankful I’m here and I’m still healthy. You can fix the rest man you just need to give yourself some time and don’t be harsh on yourself cos I know I was. 
Enjoy your golf and watching Hearts cos it’s a beautiful thing getting together with your pals, having beers and a laugh. 
Look forward to the new year👍🏼

Thanks for taking the time to respond. Yeah i think my main issue is I am being tough on myself for feeling the way i am. As odd as it sounds, I have tried counselling but had to stop as just talking about it and opening up and discussing my past relationship was just bringing too many emotions on at once. 

 

Definitely grateful for what I have got and I am sure with time I will get there. The thing that always sticks out is I was told when we first broke up that things would get easier but I dont feel at that stage a year down the line. I guess with her being in a new relationship, I feel as though I am way behind where I should be with the whole process. 

 

Was a big step coming on to the thread and I am glad people are willing to help each other and that has made it easier for me. 

 

Cheers 👍

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jack D and coke
8 minutes ago, Takis4king said:

Thanks for taking the time to respond. Yeah i think my main issue is I am being tough on myself for feeling the way i am. As odd as it sounds, I have tried counselling but had to stop as just talking about it and opening up and discussing my past relationship was just bringing too many emotions on at once. 

 

Definitely grateful for what I have got and I am sure with time I will get there. The thing that always sticks out is I was told when we first broke up that things would get easier but I dont feel at that stage a year down the line. I guess with her being in a new relationship, I feel as though I am way behind where I should be with the whole process. 

 

Was a big step coming on to the thread and I am glad people are willing to help each other and that has made it easier for me. 

 

Cheers 👍

You will get there mate, trust me.
Take your time and take it easy on yourself.  Don’t think about 6 months away or 2 years or whatever I think that’s where a lot of the dread comes from. Don’t think about your ex either I’ve had horrible ones and I’ve been horrible to others, she’s not for you just relax about it. 
It’s Saturday tomorrow go and have a game of golf, meet your pals for a beer and enjoy your weekend. 
 

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Takis4king
1 hour ago, jack D and coke said:

You will get there mate, trust me.
Take your time and take it easy on yourself.  Don’t think about 6 months away or 2 years or whatever I think that’s where a lot of the dread comes from. Don’t think about your ex either I’ve had horrible ones and I’ve been horrible to others, she’s not for you just relax about it. 
It’s Saturday tomorrow go and have a game of golf, meet your pals for a beer and enjoy your weekend. 
 

Thank you mate, feels good to be able to put all this out there and have people listen. Means alot 👍

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Taffin
8 hours ago, Takis4king said:

Been a very hard year personally. End of last year, my fiancee of 7 years left me, kept on good terms and still believed things would work out due to things i was told then in July dropped it on me she had someone else. Been feeling pathetic that i am still missing her and really finding it tough at this time of year. My 30th birthday is at start of January and it should be a time for celebration but I can see the whole period far enough. 

 

The tough thing for me is i try and put an act on, i seem like a happy go lucky guy but having moved back in with parents, as soon as I come through the door, i constantly breakdown, this is the side no one sees. I dont drink so basically my life is work, golf and watching Hearts home and away. To me it feels sad that my life does to an extent revolve around a football club but ita genuinely the only enjoyment i get, if you can call it that.

 

I was on Citalopram for a good few years and was made to feel by my ex that taking tablets were a bad thing, that i was a 'psycho' whenever i was having a down day. So i stopped taking the tablets and it was the worst thing i could have done. 

 

Anyway, just seemed good to type that out, it isnt something i openly talk about very much at all, but i know talking can really help and its important for anyone to do that whenever possible. My PMs are open for anyone who is having any problems, its a long journey but its one i know and hope everyone can conquer. 

 

Cheers and hope everyone has a cracking Christmas (and an even better Boxing day!) 

 

Might not seem it now mate but that bit in bold suggests to me that in time you'll find someone who understands and doesn't make you feel like a psycho...and I think you'll be surprised at how great that makes you feel. You shouldn't be made to feel like that by your partner. 

 

You're only just turning 30 and a large chunk of your adult life has been spent with the same the person from really quite a young age (early 20s?) so can totally understand why it feels like your world has been completely turned upside down.

 

As regards to the 30th birthday, don't shut yourself away. Ive done that many times and regretted it a lot by missing special occassions. You might not feel like it but get yourself around your friends and family and I'll bet when you look back at your 30th birthday you'll cherish the memory and see it as a turning point.

 

There's nothing sad about your life being work, golf and the football. Well, there is, but trust me that's not a reflection on you. I'm only a bit older than you are and I've struggled with how mundane life is...I moved away so don't have the Hearts now. Mine is work, fitness training and Sunday league but I've come to realise I enjoy those things so what's the harm it that? I've mixed it up a bit by going to some gym classes, taking walks and even getting a little part time job on a Tuesday night to learn some skills in something I'm interested in. At times I still long for more excitement and adventure but the reality is that for most people that doesn't exist in adult life and you have to find the excitement and adventure and enjoyment from the things you can control and do. So don't take the fact it's a bit sad as a reflection on yourself...your probably far from alone in feeling that way and it isn't a fault of yours. Take this chance to really enjoy your golf, get good at it. Enjoy watching the Hearts and even cherish getting time to spend Witt your parents. I'd love to be able to just pop along to Tynecastle with my old man but it's a 6 hour drive each way so make the most of it while you can.

 

 

TLDR version: you'll find someone else in time who supports you; enjoy your hobbies, it's not sad; cherish what you do have, not what you don't. Chin up and anytime you need to open up this is the place to do it. All the best, especially over what can be a hard period and Happy Birthday when it comes. 👍👍 

 

 

Edit: just realised how long that is...even the TLDR is long. Sorry 😂😂

Edited by Taffin

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Takis4king
48 minutes ago, Taffin said:

 

Might not seem it now mate but that bit in bold suggests to me that in time you'll find someone who understands and doesn't make you feel like a psycho...and I think you'll be surprised at how great that makes you feel. You shouldn't be made to feel like that by your partner. 

 

You're only just turning 30 and a large chunk of your adult life has been spent with the same the person from really quite a young age (early 20s?) so can totally understand why it feels like your world has been completely turned upside down.

 

As regards to the 30th birthday, don't shut yourself away. Ive done that many times and regretted it a lot by missing special occassions. You might not feel like it but get yourself around your friends and family and I'll bet when you look back at your 30th birthday you'll cherish the memory and see it as a turning point.

 

There's nothing sad about your life being work, golf and the football. Well, there is, but trust me that's not a reflection on you. I'm only a bit older than you are and I've struggled with how mundane life is...I moved away so don't have the Hearts now. Mine is work, fitness training and Sunday league but I've come to realise I enjoy those things so what's the harm it that? I've mixed it up a bit by going to some gym classes, taking walks and even getting a little part time job on a Tuesday night to learn some skills in something I'm interested in. At times I still long for more excitement and adventure but the reality is that for most people that doesn't exist in adult life and you have to find the excitement and adventure and enjoyment from the things you can control and do. So don't take the fact it's a bit sad as a reflection on yourself...your probably far from alone in feeling that way and it isn't a fault of yours. Take this chance to really enjoy your golf, get good at it. Enjoy watching the Hearts and even cherish getting time to spend Witt your parents. I'd love to be able to just pop along to Tynecastle with my old man but it's a 6 hour drive each way so make the most of it while you can.

 

 

TLDR version: you'll find someone else in time who supports you; enjoy your hobbies, it's not sad; cherish what you do have, not what you don't. Chin up and anytime you need to open up this is the place to do it. All the best, especially over what can be a hard period and Happy Birthday when it comes. 👍👍 

 

 

Edit: just realised how long that is...even the TLDR is long. Sorry 😂😂

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Amazes me the kindness of people on this thread.

 

I can definitely relate to a lot of what you have said, especially the mundanity of adult life. I guess i struggle with making the most of what I do have and easily get stuck in a rut. I regularly think that life has to be better than what it is, at the moment it just seems a repetitive cycle with little to no excitement. Work, home, sleep, then so it all over again. 

 

Thanks for the kind words, will try and make the most of this period for sure. Hope you have a good one when it comes 👍

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