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Diadora Van Basten

Just looking for a bit of advice.

 

We have a girl in the office who over the last couple of years has done an amazing job. This week I was surprised to learn that she is leaving work to move back to her mums as she is suffering from depression.

 

I want to be supportive and get the feeling she doesn’t really want to talk about it so am just trying to be nice (be nice it’s that simple).

 

I just wondered if this is the best thing to do or if I should be doing something a bit more assertive to help.

 

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Thommo414
32 minutes ago, Diadora Van Basten said:

Just looking for a bit of advice.

 

We have a girl in the office who over the last couple of years has done an amazing job. This week I was surprised to learn that she is leaving work to move back to her mums as she is suffering from depression.

 

I want to be supportive and get the feeling she doesn’t really want to talk about it so am just trying to be nice (be nice it’s that simple).

 

I just wondered if this is the best thing to do or if I should be doing something a bit more assertive to help.

 

Can be different for a lot of people but the main question I would ask, as I'm not 100% sure from your post is: did you find out about her depression/leaving from her personally or is it second hand news? 

 

If it's the former, by all means offer a helping hand should she ever need it and let her know you're willing to listen if she ever needs to talk etc. 

 

If it's the latter, I'd personally advise against bringing it up. I wouldn't call it paranoia as such but if someone got information about my mental health second hand, I'd be a bit wary on who to trust. So in this instance, although it may be with the best intentions, don't go head first into it but do as you say, be nice (to a natural extent) and she may just open up enough that you can discuss things openly with her. 

 

Hope that helped a wee bit! 

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Ugly American
3 hours ago, Diadora Van Basten said:

Just looking for a bit of advice.

 

We have a girl in the office who over the last couple of years has done an amazing job. This week I was surprised to learn that she is leaving work to move back to her mums as she is suffering from depression.

 

I want to be supportive and get the feeling she doesn’t really want to talk about it so am just trying to be nice (be nice it’s that simple).

 

I just wondered if this is the best thing to do or if I should be doing something a bit more assertive to help.

 

 

It's almost impossible to do something more assertive without overstepping your bounds. I'd get her a gift card to Tesco and tell her you're really sorry she's going through this and that you hope it gets better soon.

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Diadora Van Basten

Thanks for the advice it was second hand (she didn’t tell me herself) so probably best not to bring it up and just be nice. If she does then I can just let her know that I am sorry to hear she is going through it and hope she gets better soon.

Edited by Diadora Van Basten

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Lemongrab
7 hours ago, Diadora Van Basten said:

Thanks for the advice it was second hand (she didn’t tell me herself) so probably best not to bring it up and just be nice. If she does then I can just let her know that I am sorry to hear she is going through it and hope she gets better soon.

One thing you could do, is email information on depression to everyone in the office. You'd obviously have to lie, and say something like you came across it when helping a friend or relative, and thought you'd pass it on. The Samh website has guides you can download for depression in general and depression in the workplace. 

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martoon
4 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

One thing you could do, is email information on depression to everyone in the office. You'd obviously have to lie, and say something like you came across it when helping a friend or relative, and thought you'd pass it on. The Samh website has guides you can download for depression in general and depression in the workplace. 

 

Sound advice, bud. 

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Normthebarman
On 13/05/2019 at 12:41, Normthebarman said:

Hmmmm. Never read this thread before but I'd swear I've written half these posts myself. Think I better call the docs. I definitely relate to the poster (or posters) that says they wouldn't do anything daft as they're too much of a coward. But there's definitely days when, if someone offered me a switch to just shut down everything and go to oblivion, I'd be flicking it in a shot. Just no more worries, stress, hardship. The days when just nothingness seems a hell of a lot better than the general shite that is life are becoming more and more frequent. 

Tried to get a docs appointment but my docs are one of those "call on the day" places. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and call in the 3 minute window between 8am and 8:03am when they have appointments available. Eventually managed to drag myself out the gloom after a few days and would have felt a bit stupid calling them when I'm fine, as I'm normally a pretty happy, cheery, bright side of life person. Or at least I was in the past. So I didn't. 

 

Was made redundant a couple of weeks ago though. A couple of months prior I was led to believe the company I worked for would help me set up my own business so I could take over. That's not happening now. I've went from being "YAAAASSSS! Everything is finally going my way!" to "Just ****ing end it now". 

 

I've never felt so ****ing low. I know my recent posting history would leave some to think I'm doing fine. Truth be told, it's the only thing keeping me sane. I've spent the last couple of weeks literally lying awake at night, hoping for a ****ing brain haemorrhage so I don't wake up. Even googled painless ways to cark it, but I know I couldn't leave the wife and kids in the shit like that. Not at the moment anyway. 

 

I'm stuck in Germany for the next few days, so the docs are a no go at the moment. I'm struggling to get through the day without bursting in to tears and anyone who knows me would say "Norm doesn't cry". I can tell its affecting the wife and kids too which makes me feel even more like a *****.

 

I'm basically writing this as a way to get shit off my chest which is actually kind of helping even while writing, but **** me, this is absolutely horrific. Genuinely struggling to see any light at the end of tunnel. In fact, I'm almost hoping any light at the end of the tunnel is a big **** off train to put me out my misery. 

 

I hope to **** I get through this. I'm sure I will. Then I'll look back at this and feel a bit of an attention seeking dick. 

 

But ****. At this moment in time, I'd happily take that brain haemorrhage. 

Edited by Normthebarman

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jack D and coke
25 minutes ago, Normthebarman said:

Tried to get a docs appointment but my docs are one of those "call on the day" places. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and call in the 3 minute window between 8am and 8:03am when they have appointments available. Eventually managed to drag myself out the gloom after a few days and would have felt a bit stupid calling them when I'm fine, as I'm normally a pretty happy, cheery, bright side of life person. Or at least I was in the past. So I didn't. 

 

Was made redundant a couple of weeks ago though. A couple of months prior I was led to believe the company I worked for would help me set up my own business so I could take over. That's not happening now. I've went from being "YAAAASSSS! Everything is finally going my way!" to "Just ****ing end it now". 

 

I've never felt so ****ing low. I know my recent posting history would leave some to think I'm doing fine. Truth be told, it's the only thing keeping me sane. I've spent the last couple of weeks literally lying awake at night, hoping for a ****ing brain haemorrhage so I don't wake up. Even googled painless ways to cark it, but I know I couldn't leave the wife and kids in the shit like that. Not at the moment anyway. 

 

I'm stuck in Germany for the next few days, so the docs are a no go at the moment. I'm struggling to get through the day without bursting in to tears and anyone who knows me would say "Norm doesn't cry". I can tell its affecting the wife and kids too which makes me feel even more like a *****.

 

I'm basically writing this as a way to get shit off my chest which is actually kind of helping even while writing, but **** me, this is absolutely horrific. Genuinely struggling to see any light at the end of tunnel. In fact, I'm almost hoping any light at the end of the tunnel is a big **** off train to put me out my misery. 

 

I hope to **** I get through this. I'm sure I will. Then I'll look back at this and feel a bit of an attention seeking dick. 

 

But ****. At this moment in time, I'd happily take that brain haemorrhage. 

Bloody hell I hate trying to find words to answer things like this but feel I need to try....mate please just take a day at a time and not think too far into the future. You’ve got a wife and kids and they’d be in devastation if you did something silly. A guy once said to me that suicide because of depression is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Now I haven’t ever really suffered from it so I don’t know how it feels and I’d never try to appear like I know what you’re going through but I hope it makes some sense and makes you keep fighting.

Hopefully you posting has given a bit of solace and started things moving in the right direction and you start to see things getter brighter. One day at a time and all that. 

I hope someone else can post tonight and say something better to help but just wanted to say don’t give up mate and take it easy ok👍🏼

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Smack

Agree with the above and don't even think about messing around with a German train, ruthless killing machines. If you jumped in front of one over here it would probably miss. 

 

You could try talking to the Mrs but not if she's anything like mine. She'd have a timetable in her hands before you could say I also know the freight routes. 

 

The Samaritans are an option, you can Google the direct number of any branch in the UK. 

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Dagger Is Back
1 hour ago, Normthebarman said:

Tried to get a docs appointment but my docs are one of those "call on the day" places. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and call in the 3 minute window between 8am and 8:03am when they have appointments available. Eventually managed to drag myself out the gloom after a few days and would have felt a bit stupid calling them when I'm fine, as I'm normally a pretty happy, cheery, bright side of life person. Or at least I was in the past. So I didn't. 

 

Was made redundant a couple of weeks ago though. A couple of months prior I was led to believe the company I worked for would help me set up my own business so I could take over. That's not happening now. I've went from being "YAAAASSSS! Everything is finally going my way!" to "Just ****ing end it now". 

 

I've never felt so ****ing low. I know my recent posting history would leave some to think I'm doing fine. Truth be told, it's the only thing keeping me sane. I've spent the last couple of weeks literally lying awake at night, hoping for a ****ing brain haemorrhage so I don't wake up. Even googled painless ways to cark it, but I know I couldn't leave the wife and kids in the shit like that. Not at the moment anyway. 

 

I'm stuck in Germany for the next few days, so the docs are a no go at the moment. I'm struggling to get through the day without bursting in to tears and anyone who knows me would say "Norm doesn't cry". I can tell its affecting the wife and kids too which makes me feel even more like a *****.

 

I'm basically writing this as a way to get shit off my chest which is actually kind of helping even while writing, but **** me, this is absolutely horrific. Genuinely struggling to see any light at the end of tunnel. In fact, I'm almost hoping any light at the end of the tunnel is a big **** off train to put me out my misery. 

 

I hope to **** I get through this. I'm sure I will. Then I'll look back at this and feel a bit of an attention seeking dick. 

 

But ****. At this moment in time, I'd happily take that brain haemorrhage. 

 

Hey matey. Really tough to read your post. I hope putting your thoughts and feelings down has helped. 

 

You’ve taken another massive step by sharing your thoughts and feelings too here.

 

Your family clearly mean an awful lot to you. 

 

Don’t give up with professional help and speak to the ones you love.

 

1 hour ago, jack D and coke said:

Bloody hell I hate trying to find words to answer things like this but feel I need to try....mate please just take a day at a time and not think too far into the future. You’ve got a wife and kids and they’d be in devastation if you did something silly. A guy once said to me that suicide because of depression is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Now I haven’t ever really suffered from it so I don’t know how it feels and I’d never try to appear like I know what you’re going through but I hope it makes some sense and makes you keep fighting.

Hopefully you posting has given a bit of solace and started things moving in the right direction and you start to see things getter brighter. One day at a time and all that. 

I hope someone else can post tonight and say something better to help but just wanted to say don’t give up mate and take it easy ok👍🏼

 

👍 one of life’s good guys. Well said matey

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Whatever
3 hours ago, Normthebarman said:

Tried to get a docs appointment but my docs are one of those "call on the day" places. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and call in the 3 minute window between 8am and 8:03am when they have appointments available. Eventually managed to drag myself out the gloom after a few days and would have felt a bit stupid calling them when I'm fine, as I'm normally a pretty happy, cheery, bright side of life person. Or at least I was in the past. So I didn't. 

 

Was made redundant a couple of weeks ago though. A couple of months prior I was led to believe the company I worked for would help me set up my own business so I could take over. That's not happening now. I've went from being "YAAAASSSS! Everything is finally going my way!" to "Just ****ing end it now". 

 

I've never felt so ****ing low. I know my recent posting history would leave some to think I'm doing fine. Truth be told, it's the only thing keeping me sane. I've spent the last couple of weeks literally lying awake at night, hoping for a ****ing brain haemorrhage so I don't wake up. Even googled painless ways to cark it, but I know I couldn't leave the wife and kids in the shit like that. Not at the moment anyway. 

 

I'm stuck in Germany for the next few days, so the docs are a no go at the moment. I'm struggling to get through the day without bursting in to tears and anyone who knows me would say "Norm doesn't cry". I can tell its affecting the wife and kids too which makes me feel even more like a *****.

 

I'm basically writing this as a way to get shit off my chest which is actually kind of helping even while writing, but **** me, this is absolutely horrific. Genuinely struggling to see any light at the end of tunnel. In fact, I'm almost hoping any light at the end of the tunnel is a big **** off train to put me out my misery. 

 

I hope to **** I get through this. I'm sure I will. Then I'll look back at this and feel a bit of an attention seeking dick. 

 

But ****. At this moment in time, I'd happily take that brain haemorrhage. 

 

Like others mate I don’t really have the words really. I’ve felt low in the past but not to the degree you are. All I’d say is think of your kids. You’re the most important thing in their lives. They’d be absolutely heartbroken if you weren’t around.

 

Ach I don’t know. As I say, struggling for words. Take care mate. Genuinely wishing you well.

 

x

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thehibsareintheirbeds

Brave to share that Norm and really hope its helped- sounds like you're having a really awful time but it will get better. Definitely worth speaking to someone- be it the docs when you're back home or someone like the samaritans in the meantime or lot of options on calm site- they have a webchat too if it's easier- https://www.thecalmzone.net/

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Col1874
10 hours ago, Normthebarman said:

Tried to get a docs appointment but my docs are one of those "call on the day" places. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and call in the 3 minute window between 8am and 8:03am when they have appointments available. Eventually managed to drag myself out the gloom after a few days and would have felt a bit stupid calling them when I'm fine, as I'm normally a pretty happy, cheery, bright side of life person. Or at least I was in the past. So I didn't. 

 

Was made redundant a couple of weeks ago though. A couple of months prior I was led to believe the company I worked for would help me set up my own business so I could take over. That's not happening now. I've went from being "YAAAASSSS! Everything is finally going my way!" to "Just ****ing end it now". 

 

I've never felt so ****ing low. I know my recent posting history would leave some to think I'm doing fine. Truth be told, it's the only thing keeping me sane. I've spent the last couple of weeks literally lying awake at night, hoping for a ****ing brain haemorrhage so I don't wake up. Even googled painless ways to cark it, but I know I couldn't leave the wife and kids in the shit like that. Not at the moment anyway. 

 

I'm stuck in Germany for the next few days, so the docs are a no go at the moment. I'm struggling to get through the day without bursting in to tears and anyone who knows me would say "Norm doesn't cry". I can tell its affecting the wife and kids too which makes me feel even more like a *****.

 

I'm basically writing this as a way to get shit off my chest which is actually kind of helping even while writing, but **** me, this is absolutely horrific. Genuinely struggling to see any light at the end of tunnel. In fact, I'm almost hoping any light at the end of the tunnel is a big **** off train to put me out my misery. 

 

I hope to **** I get through this. I'm sure I will. Then I'll look back at this and feel a bit of an attention seeking dick. 

 

But ****. At this moment in time, I'd happily take that brain haemorrhage. 

 

I've been up & down like a yo-yo on this thread, and a change of career seems to have done me the world of good so far. 

 

Could a complete change of career maybe do the same for you? 

 

I've went from a 35hr week in the financial sector for the past 18 years to a 45+ hour week doing house removals and even with a pay cut, I'm happier than I have been for years. 

 

There IS light at the end of that very long tunnel, I didn't believe people when they said stuff like that to me but I got through it and you will too. 

Edited by Col1874

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Normthebarman
17 minutes ago, Col1874 said:

 

I've been up & down like a yo-yo on this thread, and a change of career seems to have done me the world of good so far. 

 

Could a complete change of career maybe do the same for you? 

 

I've went from a 35hr week in the financial sector for the past 18 years to a 45+ hour week doing house removals and even with a pay cut, I'm happier than I have been for years. 

 

There IS light at the end of that very long tunnel, I didn't believe people when they said stuff like that to me but I got through it and you will too. 

The job was the career change. I think that's why it's hit me so hard. I went from 8 years working in a shitty call centre, back to hospitality about a year ago, which I love. I'd never been happier in a long time. I had a literal 60 second commute from my front door to the job. Then the amazing carrot that I was going to run the business myself. Now it's been whipped away, I feel like I've been hit with a ton of bricks. 

Edited by Normthebarman

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Helzibob

 

 

A few friends have shared this on Facebook and I thought I’d post it here. It won’t be for everyone but it could help some. 

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1971fozzy

I’ve known a few with depression under my team at work and it’s an awful place to be. Reach out and there hopefully will be friends to help out. From my experience males tend to keep things in more than females. There should always be people to help. No matter the issues a problem shared is half the battle. The issues may be financial / family /job - can literally be anything but from my experience it’s the 3 I’ve mentioned.. a lot of work places have occupational health and that’s a first call as when it’s reported it’s recorded and believe me that is important.

its becoming a huge problem so never feel alone 

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Captain Canada

Bumping this in the hope it helps someone. 

 

When I've struggled in the past I've always found it easier to talk to strangers about how I was feeling - could be a GP, counsellor or support group. 

 

A lot of people on the outside of things think suffering with a mental illness makes you weak, but it's the opposite. Carrying on day after day when you're really struggling takes an incredible amount of strength and courage. Someone pointed this out to me during counselling and it made me see things in a different way. 

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Captain Canada
17 minutes ago, Captain Canada said:

Bumping this in the hope it helps someone. 

 

When I've struggled in the past I've always found it easier to talk to strangers about how I was feeling - could be a GP, counsellor or support group. 

 

A lot of people on the outside of things think suffering with a mental illness makes you weak, but it's the opposite. Carrying on day after day when you're really struggling takes an incredible amount of strength and courage. Someone pointed this out to me during counselling and it made me see things in a different way. 

I know that for lots of people it's not possible to carry on suffering all the time and I'm not judging anyone. I've had suicidal thoughts in the past many times. 

 

It's so important to think of mental health as just part of the overall picture. It's not separate to physical health. There are lots of professional people out there who will listen and help you. 

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Zlatanable
2 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

Bumping this in the hope it helps someone. 

 

When I've struggled in the past I've always found it easier to talk to strangers about how I was feeling - could be a GP, counsellor or support group. 

 

A lot of people on the outside of things think suffering with a mental illness makes you weak, but it's the opposite. Carrying on day after day when you're really struggling takes an incredible amount of strength and courage. Someone pointed this out to me during counselling and it made me see things in a different way. 

 

2 hours ago, Captain Canada said:

I know that for lots of people it's not possible to carry on suffering all the time and I'm not judging anyone. I've had suicidal thoughts in the past many times. 

 

It's so important to think of mental health as just part of the overall picture. It's not separate to physical health. There are lots of professional people out there who will listen and help you. 

thanks for bumping the thread

 

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PTBCAL

I’ve well documented my struggles and how it affected my relationship with my wife. As I suffer from bad anxiety and at times depression I actually felt that my wife was part of the reason I suffered this - she is strong and stubborn so I ended up living in a emotional rollercoaster at times and it was just making me ill - not all the time but if you never knew where you stood week to week then it brings everything to the forefront of your mind. Especially if you struggle mentally.

 

Why am I telling you this - well I took the step I never ever thought I would do and divorced her.  Whilst gutted mentally I feel lighter and relieved. So sometimes it can be the people closest to you that suffocate you even if they don’t know there doing it.

 

Me? I am nervous, bit lonely at times but my mental day to day strength is slowly coming back and the mental burden I was carrying seems lighter.

 

Not sure if this helps anyone but sometimes the problem can be both you and your environment. 

 

Good luck anyone suffering out there and message me if you need to chat and unleash 👍 

 

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Captain Canada

Your environment definitely has a huge bearing on mental health. I was in a job for three years up until earlier this year. I absolutely despised it for the final two years. There was a toxic culture and people were working 18 hour days at times then burning out. 

 

I was typically there or commuting around 10/11 hours a day and it was unbearable most of the time. If I wasn't having problems then colleagues were and dragging everyone else down with them. 

 

I was so tired, anxious and depressed that I just put up with it because I felt I would never get another job. 

 

My advice to anyone in a similar situation is to put your health first. I know it can feel almost impossible to apply for other jobs and go to interviews when you're tired and feeling awful, but staying in a situation that's affecting your mental health, day in, day out, is so much worse. 

 

I've been away from my old job for about 6 months now and am in a massively better place. It took a huge amount of effort to get motivated to enter the job market again, but I ended up havng no choice. I had to get away and try to get my confidence back. 

 

If anyone's in a situation like I was and needs any advice or a friendly ear, feel free to send me a PM. 

Edited by Captain Canada

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Irufushi

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

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J.T.F.Robertson
1 hour ago, Irufushi said:

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

 

Gutted for you, "I". Wish I had some words of comfort but wishing you the best, anyhow.

 

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The Frenchman Returns

Irufushi, 

really sorry to hear about your wife, like JTF I don't know what words of comfort I can give.

Thoughts are with you

 

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AlphonseCapone
9 hours ago, Irufushi said:

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

 

Can't even imagine what you are going through mate and I don't really know what to say but I just want to say something, anything. Keep fighting for your daughter, if nothing else. 

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SupaJT
10 hours ago, Irufushi said:

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

 

Brought a tear to my eye reading this, there's nothing I can really say but I'm gutted for you. After losing loved ones you can only take it day by day. Remember that you've managed to get through every thing that life has thrown at you so far and that there are people who care about you, like your daughter. You've already proved that you can hold on, keep holding on for them until you can keep holding on for yourself. At my darkest points I didn't think I could but I'm incredibly glad I did. Everything will be OK in the end, and if its not OK, it's not the end

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Swanny17

I hate depression. 
 

I hate that I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. I have a wonderful family, great friends, enjoy my work, but it matters not a jot. Thankfully I have not been in such a bad place that I’ve  considered hurting myself, but I just wish I could live a life where I am not constantly battling against myself, avoiding social situations and generally just taking each day at a time. 
 

It’s *** shite feeling like this all the time and I genuinely wonder if it will ever go away.  😩😩😩

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chester copperpot
On 30/08/2019 at 15:24, Irufushi said:

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

 

 

 

Awww mate, I wish I had kept up with this thread, not been in the shed much but wish you all the best. Would be lovely to hear an update from you. Keep strong pal.

 

I have a bit of a bout going on just now.

 

I have been in a great place for a few years after meeting my soulmate. My new Mrs (well been with her for 5yrs now) is totally awesome and we get married 3 weeks tomorrow.

 

Been struggling since last night (I know it's a trigger but that's what does it for me) found out my mum is toiling with cancer (I havent just found out she has cancer, she called me last night to say she may not make it), and may not make the wedding which I am totally devastated to this (not her fault obvs).

 

To make it worse, arranged for me and the kids to go see her tmrw (as you do) then gets a message from my ex wife last night telling me she is taking my 13yr old daughter on holiday with her when I am due to get married.

 

My daughter is my absolute world and also one of the bridesmaids, i am totally devastated that my ex could do this to me. Been trying to call my daughter all day today but the mum has her phone.

 

How can people be so cruel. This to me on my wedding day will totally destroy me. I am genuinely gutted and don't know what I will do without her there. 

 

Thing is I had her booked into a plush hotel (night before the wedding) as part of the bridesmaid party to be pampered and fed well. My new Mrs is gutted as we had my daughter as the chief bridesmaid.

 

People can be so cruel sometimes. I am toiling though to be honest. Toiling. Hate me ex, but don't make my children suffer. The ex got married a few years ago and I ran my kids to the church for the wedding. I'd love to tell you we had fallen out or that but we havent spoken in nearly a year.

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graygo
2 hours ago, chester copperpot said:

 

 

 

Awww mate, I wish I had kept up with this thread, not been in the shed much but wish you all the best. Would be lovely to hear an update from you. Keep strong pal.

 

I have a bit of a bout going on just now.

 

I have been in a great place for a few years after meeting my soulmate. My new Mrs (well been with her for 5yrs now) is totally awesome and we get married 3 weeks tomorrow.

 

Been struggling since last night (I know it's a trigger but that's what does it for me) found out my mum is toiling with cancer (I havent just found out she has cancer, she called me last night to say she may not make it), and may not make the wedding which I am totally devastated to this (not her fault obvs).

 

To make it worse, arranged for me and the kids to go see her tmrw (as you do) then gets a message from my ex wife last night telling me she is taking my 13yr old daughter on holiday with her when I am due to get married.

 

My daughter is my absolute world and also one of the bridesmaids, i am totally devastated that my ex could do this to me. Been trying to call my daughter all day today but the mum has her phone.

 

How can people be so cruel. This to me on my wedding day will totally destroy me. I am genuinely gutted and don't know what I will do without her there. 

 

Thing is I had her booked into a plush hotel (night before the wedding) as part of the bridesmaid party to be pampered and fed well. My new Mrs is gutted as we had my daughter as the chief bridesmaid.

 

People can be so cruel sometimes. I am toiling though to be honest. Toiling. Hate me ex, but don't make my children suffer. The ex got married a few years ago and I ran my kids to the church for the wedding. I'd love to tell you we had fallen out or that but we havent spoken in nearly a year.

 

Jesus man that's shite.  :( 

 

If you're going on Sunday and fancy a beer give me a shout.

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redjambo

A big virtual hug to anyone reading this thread who is feeling low (and for those who aren't too).

 

I appreciate that we are all different, but I sometimes like looking at this thread on Reddit for the occasional heart-warming story to prove to me that good people still exist in the world and that humanity might make it after all.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/UpliftingNews/

 

 

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tokyowalnut
14 hours ago, chester copperpot said:

 

 

 

Awww mate, I wish I had kept up with this thread, not been in the shed much but wish you all the best. Would be lovely to hear an update from you. Keep strong pal.

 

I have a bit of a bout going on just now.

 

I have been in a great place for a few years after meeting my soulmate. My new Mrs (well been with her for 5yrs now) is totally awesome and we get married 3 weeks tomorrow.

 

Been struggling since last night (I know it's a trigger but that's what does it for me) found out my mum is toiling with cancer (I havent just found out she has cancer, she called me last night to say she may not make it), and may not make the wedding which I am totally devastated to this (not her fault obvs).

 

To make it worse, arranged for me and the kids to go see her tmrw (as you do) then gets a message from my ex wife last night telling me she is taking my 13yr old daughter on holiday with her when I am due to get married.

 

My daughter is my absolute world and also one of the bridesmaids, i am totally devastated that my ex could do this to me. Been trying to call my daughter all day today but the mum has her phone.

 

How can people be so cruel. This to me on my wedding day will totally destroy me. I am genuinely gutted and don't know what I will do without her there. 

 

Thing is I had her booked into a plush hotel (night before the wedding) as part of the bridesmaid party to be pampered and fed well. My new Mrs is gutted as we had my daughter as the chief bridesmaid.

 

People can be so cruel sometimes. I am toiling though to be honest. Toiling. Hate me ex, but don't make my children suffer. The ex got married a few years ago and I ran my kids to the church for the wedding. I'd love to tell you we had fallen out or that but we havent spoken in nearly a year.

Im reading this and shaking my head in absolute disbelief. Why do people get off on being so cruel, it's a massive day for your daughter to miss out on too. 

 

Thoughts with you, hope your mum can see you through to your big day.

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stevie

Lump in my throat reading this,life can be a challenge.

Hope everyone who's suffering can get through their dark days and see some light.I know what it's like to just plod on,in the hope that things get easier. 

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tokyowalnut
15 hours ago, Swanny17 said:

I hate depression. 
 

I hate that I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. I have a wonderful family, great friends, enjoy my work, but it matters not a jot. Thankfully I have not been in such a bad place that I’ve  considered hurting myself, but I just wish I could live a life where I am not constantly battling against myself, avoiding social situations and generally just taking each day at a time. 
 

It’s *** shite feeling like this all the time and I genuinely wonder if it will ever go away.  😩😩😩

This is almost word for word what goes through my head on a daily basis. I took an overdose over 3 years ago now and it brought out my struggles to people close to me that had no idea. My friends are great, regularly checking in, family are great, I have a new partner and she is also brilliant. 

 

But, and this is one thing that people that dont suffer with depression and anxiety dont understand, it is very hard to control your thoughts. I find myself being dragged into a black hole, not as often as I use to, but I am very aware of it. It's shit. Can happen out of nowhere, there isnt always a trigger. It's hard to articulate that to people, others think there's should always be a reason. 

 

I'm self employed, do a job I absolutely love and people I work with will say how happy and positive I am all the time, but it is easy to hide the dark stuff. I have crazy thoughts about not having a pension because I don't think, or want to live that long. The thoughts also hold me back from having kids, I don't think I'll be around long enough for them. 

 

It's mad, the thoughts you have one day to the next. You just got to keep on going, try have a positive focus in life and work towards it. 

 

Not always easy though.

 

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Robbo-Jambo
17 hours ago, chester copperpot said:

 

 

 

Awww mate, I wish I had kept up with this thread, not been in the shed much but wish you all the best. Would be lovely to hear an update from you. Keep strong pal.

 

I have a bit of a bout going on just now.

 

I have been in a great place for a few years after meeting my soulmate. My new Mrs (well been with her for 5yrs now) is totally awesome and we get married 3 weeks tomorrow.

 

Been struggling since last night (I know it's a trigger but that's what does it for me) found out my mum is toiling with cancer (I havent just found out she has cancer, she called me last night to say she may not make it), and may not make the wedding which I am totally devastated to this (not her fault obvs).

 

To make it worse, arranged for me and the kids to go see her tmrw (as you do) then gets a message from my ex wife last night telling me she is taking my 13yr old daughter on holiday with her when I am due to get married.

 

My daughter is my absolute world and also one of the bridesmaids, i am totally devastated that my ex could do this to me. Been trying to call my daughter all day today but the mum has her phone.

 

How can people be so cruel. This to me on my wedding day will totally destroy me. I am genuinely gutted and don't know what I will do without her there. 

 

Thing is I had her booked into a plush hotel (night before the wedding) as part of the bridesmaid party to be pampered and fed well. My new Mrs is gutted as we had my daughter as the chief bridesmaid.

 

People can be so cruel sometimes. I am toiling though to be honest. Toiling. Hate me ex, but don't make my children suffer. The ex got married a few years ago and I ran my kids to the church for the wedding. I'd love to tell you we had fallen out or that but we havent spoken in nearly a year.

God that is so bad with your wedding just around the corner.

 

Hard to believe anyone could be so callous.

 

Its obviously going to have a huge effect on you and your partner and also your daughter on the big day.

 

Do you know how your daughter will be feeling about getting dragged off on your wedding day as you say you cant get to speak to her ?

 

I am hoping/presuming she will be really pissed off too and maybe can get your ex to change her mind and do the right thing.

 

Hope it all gets sorted and your mum is well enough to attend and you can enjoy the day to the full.

 

Good luck, :icon14:

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chester copperpot
1 hour ago, Robbo-Jambo said:

God that is so bad with your wedding just around the corner.

 

Hard to believe anyone could be so callous.

 

Its obviously going to have a huge effect on you and your partner and also your daughter on the big day.

 

Do you know how your daughter will be feeling about getting dragged off on your wedding day as you say you cant get to speak to her ?

 

I am hoping/presuming she will be really pissed off too and maybe can get your ex to change her mind and do the right thing.

 

Hope it all gets sorted and your mum is well enough to attend and you can enjoy the day to the full.

 

Good luck, :icon14:

 

 

 

I can't get hold of her as she doesn't have her phone. Not one for turning up at peoples door and demanding answers. 

 

My daughter is so nice though she will do what her mum tells her. She hates upsetting folk so will probably be terrified to even call me when she has her phone back.

 

Thing is, she was over last week and her and the Fiance were talking about the friday night before the wedding and how much she is looking forward to it. 

 

Thanks for all the messages of support guys, it really means the world to me. Been a horrid few days.

 

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Robbo-Jambo
8 minutes ago, chester copperpot said:

 

 

 

I can't get hold of her as she doesn't have her phone. Not one for turning up at peoples door and demanding answers. 

 

My daughter is so nice though she will do what her mum tells her. She hates upsetting folk so will probably be terrified to even call me when she has her phone back.

 

Thing is, she was over last week and her and the Fiance were talking about the friday night before the wedding and how much she is looking forward to it. 

 

Thanks for all the messages of support guys, it really means the world to me. Been a horrid few days.

 

Fingers crossed it all works out C C. 👍

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TheOak88
On 30/08/2019 at 15:24, Irufushi said:

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

Gutted to read to this mate. Can’t imagine how tough a time you must be having.

 

It won’t be easy in the short term but got to keep going for your daughter. It’s what your partner would have wanted. 

 

I am sure things will begin to improve with time, but in the short term keep your chin up. 

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Normthebarman
On 30/08/2019 at 15:24, Irufushi said:

Pffft, I dunno where to even start , or if this is even an appropriate thread. I’ve been in a really dark place for the past month , probably more. My partner of 13 years past away in July and it’s absolutely torn me apart, we went on holiday in may and she fell ill on the return flight and ended up in intensive care for 2 months before being told there was nothing more they could do. 

 

She was all I’ve ever known , i met her when I was 20 and she was 18. we did absolutely everything together she was my best friend . I’m lost and feel completely empty, scared too as I’m now a single parent to our beautiful daughter who’s only 3 and doesn’t have her mother anymore. I would be lost without my daughter though and I don’t know how I would have coped without her throughout all this.

 

Ive lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried , more than the last 33 years put together, i was sat in soft play the other week and it took everything in me not to burst out crying in there. Night times are the worst when I’m on my own , I hate it. I don’t sleep at all and lay in bed for hours wide awake thinking about all sorts of stuff.

 

She blew me away with how she took the news, no tears, told me not to be sad and remember our 13 years together and to be the best dad I could to our daughter. We managed to raise over 10k for the ward in Aberdeen which is incredible, the care they gave her was truly inspiring. 

 

I used to love my own space when I was younger, could sit on my own for days and be happy, now? It’s the most horrible thing.

 

I just miss miss her so much. 

Bloody hell. There's not really any words I can say other than my complete and utter sympathy. I would say talking about it helps. 

 

If you read back, you'll see I was in an absolutely horrible place mentally. Didn't mention it to anyone until I had a wee breakdown and posted it all on here. It was amazing how much better I felt just posting that on here. Since then, I've slowly been mentioning how bad I felt to a couple of other people who are close to me and it definitely soothes things. 

 

But again, my condolences and deepest sympathy to you at what must be an absolute shitstorm of a time. Sorry dude. 

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AlphonseCapone
On 21/09/2019 at 11:24, tokyowalnut said:

This is almost word for word what goes through my head on a daily basis. I took an overdose over 3 years ago now and it brought out my struggles to people close to me that had no idea. My friends are great, regularly checking in, family are great, I have a new partner and she is also brilliant. 

 

But, and this is one thing that people that dont suffer with depression and anxiety dont understand, it is very hard to control your thoughts. I find myself being dragged into a black hole, not as often as I use to, but I am very aware of it. It's shit. Can happen out of nowhere, there isnt always a trigger. It's hard to articulate that to people, others think there's should always be a reason. 

 

I'm self employed, do a job I absolutely love and people I work with will say how happy and positive I am all the time, but it is easy to hide the dark stuff. I have crazy thoughts about not having a pension because I don't think, or want to live that long. The thoughts also hold me back from having kids, I don't think I'll be around long enough for them. 

 

It's mad, the thoughts you have one day to the next. You just got to keep on going, try have a positive focus in life and work towards it. 

 

Not always easy though.

 

 

Good post and especially relate to the bits in bold. I can't stop overthinking absolutely everything and that's where my worst anxieties come from. As soon as it starts, if I do get hold of it right away, I spiral and it can be so hard to get out. I genuinely think I have a bit of obsessive compulsion in there. The thoughts fuel certain behaviours that escalate the thoughts and I can't stop.

 

I struggle to plan for the future or do things to sabotage it because I'm convinced I'll die young. It might sound stupid but it's an all encompassing thought that completely darkens my outlook on life and the future. It can poison even the most exciting moments. The thoughts I have can also lead to physical symptoms and then the cycle really escalates to the point I can't determine what's in my head and what's real. I don't think many people understand.

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Irufushi

Thank you for the kind words lads. Just taking each day as it comes. Some I’m ok, but others are not so good. Saturday was particularly bad for whatever reason, woke up and really struggled, played golf and completely took my mind off things then at night I felt exactly the same as the morning. 

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Ron Burgundy
1 hour ago, Irufushi said:

Thank you for the kind words lads. Just taking each day as it comes. Some I’m ok, but others are not so good. Saturday was particularly bad for whatever reason, woke up and really struggled, played golf and completely took my mind off things then at night I felt exactly the same as the morning. 

You'll get there mate, your daughter will see to that.

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Thommo414

Firstly, my condolences to the posters above me. Some horrible stories there and I can't begin to imagine how bad things must be. 

 

My depression has taken quite a strong hold on me these last few weeks but I truly feel now like I'm at the end of my tether here. I haven't been able to enjoy the company of either my partner or children. I've tried running away from it by asking my work to extend my hours and have me in more days because I haven't been able to bear the thought of being at home.

 

My relationship has been so fundamentally ****ed for such a long time that I've become completely emotionally detached and scared to open myself up. This hit a point the other day where despite the "I love you"s which I can't even respond to anymore in any other way than "Do you?" and the attempted hugs, I just lost it and began to vent about how I didn't want to be around anymore and that I want to just be left alone and forgotten about.

 

The worst part is I know how ****ing selfish that is, but I legitimately feel that it would be for everyone else's benefit if they didn't have to deal with me anymore. She could have a better man, the kids could have a better father figure. 

 

Yesterday and today I've had to try holding it together at work (I work in customer service) but the second I clock out, I just immediately fall apart again and become this uncontrollably depressed person that wants to respond to every mishap with either anger or thoughts of suicide or self harm. 

 

Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever manage to turn it around. 5 years of not being able to function like everyone else without some form of medication, some of which I've ended up having to abandon as it couldn't keep me afloat any longer. 

 

Apologies, I'm rambling at this point but I just need to get all of this off my chest

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Zlatanable
23 hours ago, Thommo414 said:

Firstly, my condolences to the posters above me. Some horrible stories there and I can't begin to imagine how bad things must be. 

 

My depression has taken quite a strong hold on me these last few weeks but I truly feel now like I'm at the end of my tether here. I haven't been able to enjoy the company of either my partner or children. I've tried running away from it by asking my work to extend my hours and have me in more days because I haven't been able to bear the thought of being at home.

 

My relationship has been so fundamentally ****ed for such a long time that I've become completely emotionally detached and scared to open myself up. This hit a point the other day where despite the "I love you"s which I can't even respond to anymore in any other way than "Do you?" and the attempted hugs, I just lost it and began to vent about how I didn't want to be around anymore and that I want to just be left alone and forgotten about.

 

The worst part is I know how ****ing selfish that is, but I legitimately feel that it would be for everyone else's benefit if they didn't have to deal with me anymore. She could have a better man, the kids could have a better father figure. 

 

Yesterday and today I've had to try holding it together at work (I work in customer service) but the second I clock out, I just immediately fall apart again and become this uncontrollably depressed person that wants to respond to every mishap with either anger or thoughts of suicide or self harm. 

 

Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever manage to turn it around. 5 years of not being able to function like everyone else without some form of medication, some of which I've ended up having to abandon as it couldn't keep me afloat any longer. 

 

Apologies, I'm rambling at this point but I just need to get all of this off my chest

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Is there anyone you can talk to? Is there a route in your work, like an Human Resource person.

There is Breathing Space,  https://breathingspace.scot , 0800 83 85 87, they are open from 6pm-2am weekdays, 6pm-6am weekends.

And The Samaritans,  https://www.samaritans.org/?nation=scotland  , phone 116 123. 

 

Talk to someone, and explain how you feel. 

 

I hope things get better for you. Take care Thommo414.

Edited by Zlatanable

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Zlatanable

I phoned Breathing Space, 0800 83 85 87, got connected almost immediately.

 

I phoned The Samaritans, 116 123, hung up after a few minutes, waiting to be connected. 

 

Phoning Breathing Space is free, 0800 83 85 87, and you might not have to wait long. 

 

There is always somebody you can talk with. Talking about painful and difficult thoughts with somebody who wants to listen, might help.

 

-Also, I noticed The Samaritans have an email service, https://www.samaritans.org/scotland/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/write-email/ , if that is an option.

 

Be kind to yourselves.

Edited by Zlatanable

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Thommo414
On 24/09/2019 at 21:56, Zlatanable said:

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Is there anyone you can talk to? Is there a route in your work, like an Human Resource person.

There is Breathing Space,  https://breathingspace.scot , 0800 83 85 87, they are open from 6pm-2am weekdays, 6pm-6am weekends.

And The Samaritans,  https://www.samaritans.org/?nation=scotland  , phone 116 123. 

 

Talk to someone, and explain how you feel. 

 

I hope things get better for you. Take care Thommo414.

Its a late response but cheers mate, appreciate the message. I don't think there's anyone to talk to as such but I've always been skeptical of counselling and the like, a great service but ultimately one that I don't feel is right for me personally. 

 

Went to the doctors this morning and I've had the dosage for my medication increased and been given a mood diary to fill in (see the better times and/or triggers). A step in the right direction I hope! 

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tokyowalnut
On 23/09/2019 at 11:13, AlphonseCapone said:

 

Good post and especially relate to the bits in bold. I can't stop overthinking absolutely everything and that's where my worst anxieties come from. As soon as it starts, if I do get hold of it right away, I spiral and it can be so hard to get out. I genuinely think I have a bit of obsessive compulsion in there. The thoughts fuel certain behaviours that escalate the thoughts and I can't stop.

 

I struggle to plan for the future or do things to sabotage it because I'm convinced I'll die young. It might sound stupid but it's an all encompassing thought that completely darkens my outlook on life and the future. It can poison even the most exciting moments. The thoughts I have can also lead to physical symptoms and then the cycle really escalates to the point I can't determine what's in my head and what's real. I don't think many people understand.

Doesnt sound stupid at all, certainly not me, I have very similar thoughts. 

 

Today i had a daft thought about what is the point because the one thing i want in life i cant ever have. So am just living for the sake of it?!

 

Completely irrational to anyone, but to me it makes perfect sense. 

 

 

Thommo414, good luck bud. Sometimes talking to someone unbiased is helpful, not for everyone though. 

 

The great thing about this thread is being able to post without judgement. 

 

Possibly the most important thread on this site. 

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Col1874
On 23/09/2019 at 11:13, AlphonseCapone said:

It might sound stupid but it's an all encompassing thought that completely darkens my outlook on life and the future. It can poison even the most exciting moments. The thoughts I have can also lead to physical symptoms and then the cycle really escalates to the point I can't determine what's in my head and what's real. I don't think many people understand.

 

It doesn't sound stupid but a lot of people DO understand, me being one of those people. The issue is that the people who can turn things around (doctors) generally don't listen. I've been there so I totally understand what you're saying. 

 

After years of visiting my GP, years of stupidly taking overdoses and years of what I thought was depression, I was referred to a Psychiatrist and diagnosed with something different, but that only came after a serious issue which lead to a hospital admission. 

 

That's what gets me about the NHS - say for example you see your GP about a nose problem, you'll be referred to ENT, a skin problem you'll be referred to dermatology, neck or back pain you'll get Physio, but a mental health problem... That's just swept aside as if it doesn't matter far too often. 

 

If things get worse, ask your GP if you can be referred to Cambridge Street but be persistant, things for me have improved since I started seeing a psychiatrist 2/3 times a year. It's clear to see that things can improve if you scroll back the pages to maybe March/April or thereabouts and you'll see how suicidal I was and now I've turned things around (.. although with my diagnosis I'm probably going to relapse but I'm slowly learning to block out the triggers, which isn't easy with my new job and the backstabbing arseholes that come with it) 

 

Anyway.. I'm not going to say be strong, chin up or any of those patronising things as I know it doesn't help - just live your life the best you can, make sure you see your GP if your dark thoughts continue/worsen and be pushy with your GP if you think they're not listening. 

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Jamhammer

Saw a counsellor at work a good few years ago when I was struggling. She was ******* useless. Thankfully I had family and friends who were there for me and got through it.

Had a colleague at work recently who was toiling and recommended a new company work are using. She called them and said they were fantastic. Really helped her.

I appreciate people might be isolated from family/friends and the main thing I’d say is talk to someone. You’re not alone. Help is there and, workplaces in particular are starting to take action.

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LeftBack

Just had a major melt down. Struggling to cope. 

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dsk1210
11 minutes ago, LeftBack said:

Just had a major melt down. Struggling to cope. 

 

Just remember things do get better at some point, never take a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

Hope things get better soon. 

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