Online Dating

[Justin Z]

Btw my favourite part about dating Scottish women has been the chebs.

 

You lot really have no idea how lucky you are in that respect.

[Ray Gin]

5 minutes ago, Justin Z said:

Btw my favourite part about dating Scottish women has been the chebs.

 

You lot really have no idea how lucky you are in that respect.

 

Scotland's no different to anywhere else regarding the size of women's chebs. 😕

 

[Justin Z]

5 minutes ago, Ray Gin said:

 

Scotland's no different to anywhere else regarding the size of women's chebs. 😕

 

 

I can tell you from anecdotal experience that is completely false, and my anecdotal experience seems to be backed by the available, admittedly pretty unscientific data. Just google "biggest average boobs uk" or something and you'll see what I mean. The north of England and Scotland lead the way in the UK.

 

I googled this after I noticed it from experience, so it wasn't colouring my perception / biasing me from beforehand. Not saying it's definitive, but I'm certainly convinced, and this is an unserious enough topic that I don't really care enough to make sure I'm 100% right.

[Locky]

This thread took a turn.

 

Now I am jealous.  

[Greedy Jambo]

20 hours ago, Cruyff said:

Pm pm pm 😂

 

I was going to send you a wee teaser but you need to upload it from a URL, feck going to the trouble of that. 

[Justin Z]

11 minutes ago, Space Pirate said:

 

I was going to send you a wee teaser but you need to upload it from a URL, feck going to the trouble of that. 

 

Mate that's what you get for being a cheapass and not renewing your paid membership.

[Morgan]

@Cruyff is either having the weekend of his life, or Dolly Big Tits has given him the Marcus.

 

[Ray Gin]

Hopefully they're both respecting the lockdown. 

[Morgan]

@Cruyff doesn’t do ‘respecting the lockdown’ when it comes to mahoosive tits.

 

[Cruyff]

33 minutes ago, Morgan said:

@Cruyff is either having the weekend of his life, or Dolly Big Tits has given him the Marcus.

 

I've just been too busy! 

28 minutes ago, Ray Gin said:

Hopefully they're both respecting the lockdown. 

Yep.

5 minutes ago, Morgan said:

@Cruyff doesn’t do ‘respecting the lockdown’ when it comes to mahoosive tits.

 

I will take one for the team and break the lockdown when im finished my work. 

Then i'll be be motorboating those badboys. 

[Governor Tarkin]

On 09/05/2020 at 18:27, Justin Z said:

Btw my favourite part about dating Scottish women has been the chebs.

 

You lot really have no idea how lucky you are in that respect.

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

Edited May 10, 2020 by Governor Tarkin

[Cruyff]

2 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

 

[Gone]

7 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

 

Shakespeare, is that you?

[Ray Gin]

9 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

 

 

 

 

[Samuel Camazzola]

11 hours ago, Cruyff said:

I've just been too busy! 

Yep.

I will take one for the team and break the lockdown when im finished my work. 

Then i'll be be motorboating those badboys. 

Just put it down to your additional daily exercise. I don't know how you'd provide an excuse for the social distancing part though... 

[Morgan]

14 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

[cheetah]

15 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

Beautiful

 

[Tazio]

15 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

Pulitzer Prize in the post. 

[Stuart Lyon]

1 hour ago, Tazio said:

Pulitzer Prize in the post. 

Did you not mean the Pultitzer Prize.

[Justin Z]

16 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

Big chebs are over-rated JZ.

 

 

16 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne.

 

I second, third and fourth all the comments above. Bravo!!

 

Keep in mind though this is no different than the States, it's just that instead of their kids having whiny ned voices and being named Liam or Jamie, they're redneck little shits named Micaylee or Jaxyn or Hayleigh.

 

17 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

 

Mate. This is what the chebs are for. And then you're deemed a hero for "lasting so long" to boot.

[Governor Tarkin]

6 minutes ago, Justin Z said:

 

Mate. This is what the chebs are for. And then you're deemed a hero for "lasting so long" to boot.

 

Ah, a soapy-tit-wank man, eh.

 

Excellent. 👍

Edited May 11, 2020 by Governor Tarkin

[Justin Z]

Just now, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Ah, a soapy-tit-wank man, eh.

 

Excellent.

 

Only the finest, Gov. Coconut oil or gtf.

[Governor Tarkin]

Just now, Justin Z said:

 

Only the finest, Gov. Coconut oil or gtf.

 

Gentlemen, we have a connoisseur in our midst.

 

 

[SwindonJambo]

17 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

 

What an extremely amusing  piece of prose😂 You have some way with words! Take a bow and thank you 👍

[Dean Winchester]

18 hours ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

Big chebs are over-rated JZ. 

In Jockland they tend to be attached to the more robust of womenfolk.

 

What is probably more desirable is a neat and compact mutton pouch.

 

Unfortunately most of our unattached young internet dating ladies have more children than teeth by the time they exit their teens. This results in gammon vaults which look like someone has violently lobbed a pool ball into a vegetarian lasagne. 

 

In terms of sensation, you'd be better off opening your bedroom window and f&%^$#g the night.

    

[Morgan]

Is it fair to conclude that @Governor Tarkin has made the post of the thread, and perhaps the post of the year, so far?

[Brighton Jambo]

7 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Is it fair to conclude that @Governor Tarkin has made the post of the thread, and perhaps the post of the year, so far?

Absolutely this. My wife just asked why I laughed, safe to say I lied! 

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Brighton Jambo said:

Absolutely this. My wife just asked why I laughed, safe to say I lied! 

[Greedy Jambo]

13 minutes ago, Morgan said:

 

Another great response to add on to your tale.

44 thousand posts of this. 

Get a dug. 

[Brick Tamland]

4 hours ago, Justin Z said:

 

Only the finest, Gov. Coconut oil or gtf.

You’re missing out if you don’t use this stuff...

[Greedy Jambo]

Not enough pictures of breasts on here.

[SwindonJambo]

2 hours ago, Morgan said:

Is it fair to conclude that @Governor Tarkin has made the post of the thread, and perhaps the post of the year, so far?

Definitely. I'm still laughing now 😉

[Locky]

9 hours ago, Brick Tamland said:

You’re missing out if you don’t use this stuff...

You and Justin must have very smooth lengths. Must slide in like a Melody Pop. 

[Locky]

7 hours ago, Space Pirate said:

Not enough pictures of breasts on here.

While I'd tend to agree, that might scare some of our eligible bachelorettes on the forum. And I really want to know more about their perspective of the (w)hole thing!

 

Come on Kickback ladies, there must be one of you who is single and gagging for it. And nothing would make my miserable life happier than you signing up for Tinder and dishing out your soapy gossip.

[iantjambo]

11 hours ago, Space Pirate said:

 

Another great response to add on to your tale.

44 thousand posts of this. 

Get a dug. 

Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit

 

[Locky]

1 hour ago, iantjambo said:

Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit

 

Maybe he could start a thread. 

[iantjambo]

25 minutes ago, Locky said:

Maybe he could start a thread. 

Why not? Don’t think he’s hit his daily quota of 350 yet

 

[Justin Z]

5 hours ago, iantjambo said:

Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit

 

I think he's on permanent seethe at Morgan rightly calling him out for being a gadfly and general annoyance for his own entertainment. Wee lamb.

[EH11_2NL]

Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶

[Morgan]

17 hours ago, Space Pirate said:

 

Another great response to add on to your tale.

44 thousand posts of this. 

Get a dug. 

 

6 hours ago, iantjambo said:

Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit

 

 

Thanks for quoting that post, Ian.  I hadn’t seen it as I’ve had Space Prat on ignore since Saturday. Christ only knows why it took me so long to do so, though.

 

I’m quite happy, however, in the knowledge that when I mean to type ‘tally’ I will do so correctly.  

 

I will not type ‘tale’  

.  

 

4 hours ago, Locky said:

Maybe he could start a thread. 

 

Jesus Locks!  Don’t give him any encouragement. he doesn’t need it.

 

4 hours ago, iantjambo said:

Why not? Don’t think he’s hit his daily quota of 350 yet

 

 

You're thinking he’s cut back like?  

 

56 minutes ago, Justin Z said:

 

I think he's on permanent seethe at Morgan rightly calling him out for being a gadfly and general annoyance for his own entertainment. Wee lamb.

 

Gadfly is the perfect word for the wee lamb, Justin.

 

His seethe is water off a ducks back to me.

 

 

[Justin Z]

10 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Gadfly is the perfect word for the wee lamb, Justin.

 

It was among the more family friendly ones available

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Justin Z said:

 

It was among the more family friendly ones available

Feck ‘family friendly’!

 

You should have just gone for it...  

[iantjambo]

50 minutes ago, Morgan said:

 

 

Thanks for quoting that post, Ian.  I hadn’t seen it as I’ve had Space Prat on ignore since Saturday. Christ only knows why it took me so long to do so, though.

 

I’m quite happy, however, in the knowledge that when I mean to type ‘tally’ I will do so correctly.  

 

I will not type ‘tale’  

.  

 

 

Jesus Locks!  Don’t give him any encouragement. he doesn’t need it.

 

 

You're thinking he’s cut back like?  

 

 

Gadfly is the perfect word for the wee lamb, Justin.

 

His seethe is water off a ducks back to me.

 

 

He does appear to have a rather unhealthy obsession with you

 

[Morgan]

14 minutes ago, iantjambo said:

He does appear to have a rather unhealthy obsession with you

 

Thankfully, I won’t be seeing any more of it.

 

Bit of a waste of Space, really.

[Sooperstar]

8 hours ago, iantjambo said:

Did Morgan piss in your cornflakes or something? You seem to dig at him quite a bit

 

I've seen him make references to a few people's post counts now, despite him having a huge number over a short period of time since signing up. Very strange.

[Angry Haggis]

“Gammon Vaults” 

 

[Salad Fingers]

19 hours ago, EH11_2NL said:

Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶

 

100% 

 

If not you really should just hang up the balls.  

 

However, depends on your standards.  Don't get me wrong there is a lot of nice looking females on it.  But if you want to get your hole and you're willing to lower the standards a bit then you are almost guaranteed to get it.  

 

If you have a car, you'll get your hole tonight.  

[milky_26]

46 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

100% 

 

If not you really should just hang up the balls.  

 

However, depends on your standards.  Don't get me wrong there is a lot of nice looking females on it.  But if you want to get your hole and you're willing to lower the standards a bit then you are almost guaranteed to get it.  

 

If you have a car, you'll get your hole tonight.  

what the hell are you doing with cars?

[EH11_2NL]

2 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

100% 

 

If not you really should just hang up the balls.  

 

However, depends on your standards.  Don't get me wrong there is a lot of nice looking females on it.  But if you want to get your hole and you're willing to lower the standards a bit then you are almost guaranteed to get it.  

 

If you have a car, you'll get your hole tonight.  

Friend says thanks. He's off to grab his car keys

[Cruyff]

21 hours ago, EH11_2NL said:

Are you pretty much guaranteed your Nat King on Plenty Of Fish? Asking for a friend obviously 😶

Get on all the sites, badoo, tinder, pof, they're throwing themselves at you mate, you don't have to do anything, sit back, watch the likes come in and pick your victim(s) .