Online Dating

[Locky]

9 minutes ago, Morgan said:

I can’t leave it, Locks.

 

It’s just too good.  😉

Never gonna live that down.  

 

Spoiler

 

 

[redjambo]

11 minutes ago, Morgan said:

You know how I feel about REO Speedwagon, please stop bringing it up.

 

I’m glad however that you remembered the Spider.  It’s all part of the learning process for @Greedy Jambo, they don’t have things like that in Livingston. I’m sure he’ll thank us in a few years time, once he’s grown up.

 

Is your hair still beautiful?

 

Still as beautiful as the rest of me, Morgs, you silver-tongued devil you.

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Locky said:

Never gonna live that down.  

 

  Hide contents

 

 

  JKB has won.

 

Edit:  It’s a bloody cracker!  😀

[hereford_hearts]

Off work today. Usually only look at the terrace, but you can only take the piss out of hibs so much. 

Read the last page of this thread, then thought, **** it, and hit page 1.

6 hours later, I laughed, I cried, I empathised with the main characters.

I was happily married, or so I thought, when this thread started, but now back in the saddle. 

I will update you on Facebook dating when I get back from shopping. The good and the bad. 

[Салатные палочки]

44 minutes ago, hereford_hearts said:

Off work today. Usually only look at the terrace, but you can only take the piss out of hibs so much. 

Read the last page of this thread, then thought, **** it, and hit page 1.

6 hours later, I laughed, I cried, I empathised with the main characters.

I was happily married, or so I thought, when this thread started, but now back in the saddle. 

I will update you on Facebook dating when I get back from shopping. The good and the bad. 

 

I was always wary of looking back on it, but skimmed over the first few pages there and it brought a smile to my face

[hereford_hearts]

2 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

I was always wary of looking back on it, but skimmed over the first few pages there and it brought a smile to my face

It was all your fault with that first innocent question. How far into the thread did you find Mrs Salad? 

[Салатные палочки]

25 minutes ago, hereford_hearts said:

It was all your fault with that first innocent question. How far into the thread did you find Mrs Salad? 

 

Page 21. 

 

September 15 2016. 

 

Don't remember mentioning her on here so I had to go searching

 

Looks like tweegy and lou took the heat off me and I drifted into oblivion on the thread. 

 

Always good to see it revived. 

 

Edited April 27, 2022 by Salad Fingers

[hereford_hearts]

14 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

Page 21. 

 

September 15 2016. 

 

Don't remember mentioning her on here so I had to go searching

 

Looks like tweegy and lou took the heat off me and I drifted into oblivion on the thread. 

 

Always good to see it revived. 

 

You mentioned meeting a nice girl. She must have been, as you never shared the details of the conquest. 

I think Lou got engaged to her conquest. May even be married now. 

[Салатные палочки]

12 minutes ago, hereford_hearts said:

You mentioned meeting a nice girl. She must have been, as you never shared the details of the conquest. 

I think Lou got engaged to her conquest. May even be married now. 

 

Aye we're still together to this day, almost six years later. 

[hereford_hearts]

34 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

Aye we're still together to this day, almost six years later. 

But is she letting you go to the cup final? 

[Салатные палочки]

7 minutes ago, hereford_hearts said:

But is she letting you go to the cup final? 

 

See the thing about her is, when it comes to football, IRL or on the telly, she doesn't have a problem with it. She doesn't really watch much TV so if I want to watch a game I can. If I want to go to a game she only really worries if I'll manage home in one piece

[Poseidon]

Oof, this thread 😂

 

Had to read back as I couldn't remember my contributions and then the flashback of that back wax came flooding back 😬😬😂

 

And then remembered how amazing those BJ's were from the bursd that got me back in the saddle 🤤

 

I suppose I should give an update on what I got up to after that, might take a while to type though! 

[Poseidon]

So basically summer '17 came and BJ temptress kept at it but was wanting a full on relationship and it was about then that I kinda hit rock bottom after fully taking in that my 9 year marriage was over. There was a lot of shit to sort out and wrangling over the house and so BJT and I went our separate ways in the July. 

 

I got my head sorted a bit and back on bumble and Tinder but also felt more confident about myself and started chatting to old friends I used to work with, one in particular where there was always a bit of sexual chemistry that I couldn't act on at the time. So we went out a few dates and basically it became obvious that we both wanted the same thing, no strings FWB arrangement and that carried on right into 2018. She was on the bigger side but great in the sack and the Irish accent basically made me putty in her hands. She could get me do anything to her basically, which I always tried my best to do 😂. 

 

Early 2018 and I felt like I was maybe ready to dip the toe back into Online and see where it took me. One very brief fling and then got into a relationship with someone who was pretty much perfect in every way apart from the one that mattered, she was a terrible shag. Like awful. She had 2 positions and couldn't be tempted by anything that could be classed as extra curricular activity. We went on holiday to Miami and had a good time but as soon as we were back I had to do the deed and give her the 'it's not you, its me' chat. I felt that I wanted everything at that point and wasn't going to settle for someone who couldn't tick all the boxes. 

 

Couple of other flings after that, one of which was a bit of a wild night in a caravan down at Seton Sands while her kid somehow managed to sleep through it 😂. 

 

Actually agreed to meet her again in Glasgow one night, went for dinner, back to a hotel I had booked and then went and made a sex tape of her giving me an incredible blowjob. For real, I swear! She wanted it sent to her so she was using my phone to send it to her on FB messenger but instead managed to post it to my story instead 🤣. 

 

She freaked the **** out and I mean completely lost her shit 😂. We got it taken down very quickly and as it was about 1.30am I don't think anyone saw it but she demanded that all evidence was deleted which I reluctantly had to agree to. I did have a still image somewhere that I managed to keep, will need to see if I still have it somewhere 😏. 

 

Next up was a bursd from work who got drunk and confessed that she really fancied me at a work night out and so we had a fling over most of summer '18. Flat was pretty manky and she had indoor cats but she wanted me to shag her on the questionable carpet on at least one occasion along with just about everywhere else in the flat. Who was I to say no....? 

 

And then finally it came back full circle from Autumn '18 when pretty much the very first person I went out on a date with and got on amazingly with came back around and wanted to give it a go. 3 and a half years later and we're pretty much ready to move in so I suppose you could class that as another JKB success story! 🙌

 

 

[Салатные палочки]

6 hours ago, Poseidon said:

So basically summer '17 came and BJ temptress kept at it but was wanting a full on relationship and it was about then that I kinda hit rock bottom after fully taking in that my 9 year marriage was over. There was a lot of shit to sort out and wrangling over the house and so BJT and I went our separate ways in the July. 

 

I got my head sorted a bit and back on bumble and Tinder but also felt more confident about myself and started chatting to old friends I used to work with, one in particular where there was always a bit of sexual chemistry that I couldn't act on at the time. So we went out a few dates and basically it became obvious that we both wanted the same thing, no strings FWB arrangement and that carried on right into 2018. She was on the bigger side but great in the sack and the Irish accent basically made me putty in her hands. She could get me do anything to her basically, which I always tried my best to do 😂. 

 

Early 2018 and I felt like I was maybe ready to dip the toe back into Online and see where it took me. One very brief fling and then got into a relationship with someone who was pretty much perfect in every way apart from the one that mattered, she was a terrible shag. Like awful. She had 2 positions and couldn't be tempted by anything that could be classed as extra curricular activity. We went on holiday to Miami and had a good time but as soon as we were back I had to do the deed and give her the 'it's not you, its me' chat. I felt that I wanted everything at that point and wasn't going to settle for someone who couldn't tick all the boxes. 

 

Couple of other flings after that, one of which was a bit of a wild night in a caravan down at Seton Sands while her kid somehow managed to sleep through it 😂. 

 

Actually agreed to meet her again in Glasgow one night, went for dinner, back to a hotel I had booked and then went and made a sex tape of her giving me an incredible blowjob. For real, I swear! She wanted it sent to her so she was using my phone to send it to her on FB messenger but instead managed to post it to my story instead 🤣. 

 

She freaked the **** out and I mean completely lost her shit 😂. We got it taken down very quickly and as it was about 1.30am I don't think anyone saw it but she demanded that all evidence was deleted which I reluctantly had to agree to. I did have a still image somewhere that I managed to keep, will need to see if I still have it somewhere 😏. 

 

Next up was a bursd from work who got drunk and confessed that she really fancied me at a work night out and so we had a fling over most of summer '18. Flat was pretty manky and she had indoor cats but she wanted me to shag her on the questionable carpet on at least one occasion along with just about everywhere else in the flat. Who was I to say no....? 

 

And then finally it came back full circle from Autumn '18 when pretty much the very first person I went out on a date with and got on amazingly with came back around and wanted to give it a go. 3 and a half years later and we're pretty much ready to move in so I suppose you could class that as another JKB success story! 🙌

 

 

 

This is the kind of content we're looking for. 

[Stu_HMFC]

7 hours ago, Poseidon said:

 

 One of which was a bit of a wild night in a caravan down at Seton Sands while her kid somehow managed to sleep through it 😂

 

 

You are a dirty B@St@RD………

 

 

 

doing it at seaton sands 😂😂😂😂😂

[Harry Potter]

On 27/04/2022 at 07:08, Jambo_jim2001 said:

Meanwhile in the real world 🤔😉

thats cool, braw wide wheels, 

[JudyJudyJudy]

9 hours ago, Poseidon said:

So basically summer '17 came and BJ temptress kept at it but was wanting a full on relationship and it was about then that I kinda hit rock bottom after fully taking in that my 9 year marriage was over. There was a lot of shit to sort out and wrangling over the house and so BJT and I went our separate ways in the July. 

 

I got my head sorted a bit and back on bumble and Tinder but also felt more confident about myself and started chatting to old friends I used to work with, one in particular where there was always a bit of sexual chemistry that I couldn't act on at the time. So we went out a few dates and basically it became obvious that we both wanted the same thing, no strings FWB arrangement and that carried on right into 2018. She was on the bigger side but great in the sack and the Irish accent basically made me putty in her hands. She could get me do anything to her basically, which I always tried my best to do 😂. 

 

Early 2018 and I felt like I was maybe ready to dip the toe back into Online and see where it took me. One very brief fling and then got into a relationship with someone who was pretty much perfect in every way apart from the one that mattered, she was a terrible shag. Like awful. She had 2 positions and couldn't be tempted by anything that could be classed as extra curricular activity. We went on holiday to Miami and had a good time but as soon as we were back I had to do the deed and give her the 'it's not you, its me' chat. I felt that I wanted everything at that point and wasn't going to settle for someone who couldn't tick all the boxes. 

 

Couple of other flings after that, one of which was a bit of a wild night in a caravan down at Seton Sands while her kid somehow managed to sleep through it 😂. 

 

Actually agreed to meet her again in Glasgow one night, went for dinner, back to a hotel I had booked and then went and made a sex tape of her giving me an incredible blowjob. For real, I swear! She wanted it sent to her so she was using my phone to send it to her on FB messenger but instead managed to post it to my story instead 🤣. 

 

She freaked the **** out and I mean completely lost her shit 😂. We got it taken down very quickly and as it was about 1.30am I don't think anyone saw it but she demanded that all evidence was deleted which I reluctantly had to agree to. I did have a still image somewhere that I managed to keep, will need to see if I still have it somewhere 😏. 

 

Next up was a bursd from work who got drunk and confessed that she really fancied me at a work night out and so we had a fling over most of summer '18. Flat was pretty manky and she had indoor cats but she wanted me to shag her on the questionable carpet on at least one occasion along with just about everywhere else in the flat. Who was I to say no....? 

 

And then finally it came back full circle from Autumn '18 when pretty much the very first person I went out on a date with and got on amazingly with came back around and wanted to give it a go. 3 and a half years later and we're pretty much ready to move in so I suppose you could class that as another JKB success story! 🙌

 

 

And I thought I was a slapper 😂😂😎

[Poseidon]

18 minutes ago, JamesM48 said:

And I thought I was a slapper 😂😂😎

Haha, I felt like I had to make the most of it once I got going!

 

I'd like to say that I wouldn't do it again as it was a cathartic thing I had to do after the separation but in reality if this one ended tomorrow I'd probably be back on it but with even more confidence than before 😂

[JudyJudyJudy]

22 minutes ago, Poseidon said:

Haha, I felt like I had to make the most of it once I got going!

 

I'd like to say that I wouldn't do it again as it was a cathartic thing I had to do after the separation but in reality if this one ended tomorrow I'd probably be back on it but with even more confidence than before 😂

Completely understand re the cathartic thing . Good to see you feel more settled now . But you now have the “ skills “ to re enter the dating game again 😂

[Sooperstar]

Quick question from me...

 

You match with someone on Tinder. Is it acceptable to then check elsewhere for photos of that person? If you do and it is clear that they are using photos from several years ago and their physical appearance has materially changed is it then acceptable to say 'Actually you don't look like your photos so I'm going to pass on this one'?

 

Genuinely asking for a friend - I'm a married man and have never been on Tinder.

[Pap]

16 minutes ago, Sooperstar said:

Quick question from me...

 

You match with someone on Tinder. Is it acceptable to then check elsewhere for photos of that person? If you do and it is clear that they are using photos from several years ago and their physical appearance has materially changed is it then acceptable to say 'Actually you don't look like your photos so I'm going to pass on this one'?

 

Genuinely asking for a friend - I'm a married man and have never been on Tinder.

 

Tell @Hughesy its fine👍

Edited April 28, 2022 by Pap

[Poseidon]

19 minutes ago, Sooperstar said:

Quick question from me...

 

You match with someone on Tinder. Is it acceptable to then check elsewhere for photos of that person? If you do and it is clear that they are using photos from several years ago and their physical appearance has materially changed is it then acceptable to say 'Actually you don't look like your photos so I'm going to pass on this one'?

 

Genuinely asking for a friend - I'm a married man and have never been on Tinder.

Acceptable to look for other photos - of course. How he then relays that back is up to him. Ghosting is probably more common but what you suggest without him sounding like he's physically stalked her is probably the better way. 

 

A lot of people won't really change in terms of looks other that getting fatter, let's be honest though. If its just the fat (that she could lose) but the face is gorgeous and chat is good then I'd be tempted to go on a date. I, as well as everyone else, have limits on the size you'd go to though so there's no 'one size fits all' answer here 😂

Edited April 28, 2022 by Poseidon

[Салатные палочки]

9 minutes ago, Poseidon said:

Acceptable to look for other photos - of course. How he then relays that back is up to him. Ghosting is probably more common but what you suggest without him sounding like he's physically stalked her is probably the better way. 

 

A lot of people won't really change in terms of looks other that getting fatter, let's be honest though. If its just the fat (that she could lose) but the face is gorgeous and chat is good then I'd be tempted to go on a date. I, as well as everyone else, have limits on the size you'd go to though so there's no 'one size fits all' answer here 😂

 

Chubby Chaser type post IMO 😉

[Poseidon]

1 minute ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

Chubby Chaser type post IMO 😉

Got to be open minded if you are at the early stages of an online dating journey 😂

[Салатные палочки]

3 minutes ago, Poseidon said:

Got to be open minded if you are at the early stages of an online dating journey 😂

 

Nowt wrong with it. I have a wee thing for Jenny from the Chase myself. 

[JudyJudyJudy]

38 minutes ago, Sooperstar said:

Quick question from me...

 

You match with someone on Tinder. Is it acceptable to then check elsewhere for photos of that person? If you do and it is clear that they are using photos from several years ago and their physical appearance has materially changed is it then acceptable to say 'Actually you don't look like your photos so I'm going to pass on this one'?

 

Genuinely asking for a friend - I'm a married man and have never been on Tinder.

Probably best not to say to the person you have stalked them on other so social media 😂 we are all guilty of a Facebook “ creep “ 

9 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

Chubby Chaser type post IMO 😉

It’s a large no for me , the chubby look but to each his own or her own . There’s always someone for someone even if it’s just one night of love ❤️ dont mind some love handles on someone depending on the proportions 😎

Edited April 28, 2022 by JamesM48

[Sooperstar]

38 minutes ago, Poseidon said:

Acceptable to look for other photos - of course. How he then relays that back is up to him. Ghosting is probably more common but what you suggest without him sounding like he's physically stalked her is probably the better way. 

 

A lot of people won't really change in terms of looks other that getting fatter, let's be honest though. If its just the fat (that she could lose) but the face is gorgeous and chat is good then I'd be tempted to go on a date. I, as well as everyone else, have limits on the size you'd go to though so there's no 'one size fits all' answer here 😂

She had put on a fair bit of weight but she wasn't massive. Comparing the older photos to the more recent ones though you would not have thought they were the same person.

[Poseidon]

10 minutes ago, Sooperstar said:

She had put on a fair bit of weight but she wasn't massive. Comparing the older photos to the more recent ones though you would not have thought they were the same person.

Bit silly on her part still using it then

[Stu_HMFC]

4 hours ago, Sooperstar said:

Quick question from me...

 

You match with someone on Tinder. Is it acceptable to then check elsewhere for photos of that person? If you do and it is clear that they are using photos from several years ago and their physical appearance has materially changed is it then acceptable to say 'Actually you don't look like your photos so I'm going to pass on this one'?

 

Genuinely asking for a friend - I'm a married man and have never been on Tinder.

When I was single not going to lie I’d do that search Instagram and Facebook there was time you speak to someone for a bit then end up adding on Facebook then seeing some pictures what put you riiiiiight off! 
 

I’m so glad I’ve been away from the dating scene for over 4 years now and have no intentions of going back to it 😂 

 

 

Or the accent!!! I’m from Edinburgh brought up on an estate speak normal, chatting to a no bad lassie from fife then you hear the accent end up patching them for the accent 😂

Edited April 28, 2022 by Stu_HMFC

[Салатные палочки]

One of the lassies I was talking to back when I started actually sent me a full body picture of her and said I know I'm on the bigger side so just putting it out there, which I thought was pretty fair. She actually wasn't that big and she had a pretty face so it really didn't matter to me. I said that and my god, it opened the floodgates. She started sending me pics all the time showing everything. She worked in a petrol station and would go through to the stock room to take pictures to send to me. I would be sitting in work some days with a diamond cutter digging into my trousers

 

We went out a drive one night and she was acting all shy and like she didn't do those kind of things, which was quite annoying given I had been getting worked up all week. I didn't have long to wait though until the second date. 

 

Turned out she was a nutter anyway. A short while after we stopped talking and during a dry period, I retrieved the photos to have a wee study of them

 

Anyway, the point I am trying to make (I think) is, if you're single, get on POF or Tinder, get out there, have some fun and ride everything you can

[Muppetboy]

Had a date at the kelpies with a lass , a nurse from wishaw. Really chatty and bubbly and it was clear what she was after but she told me about her recent sex life and mentioned an itch she had downstairs. I was like wtf and steered the chat away and made a quick exit. Later when I was home she sent me an actual picture of the infected area and she was still trying to come onto me even after showing me at all. Needless to say she was told to gtf

[Салатные палочки]

4 minutes ago, Muppetboy said:

Had a date at the kelpies with a lass , a nurse from wishaw. Really chatty and bubbly and it was clear what she was after but she told me about her recent sex life and mentioned an itch she had downstairs. I was like wtf and steered the chat away and made a quick exit. Later when I was home she sent me an actual picture of the infected area and she was still trying to come onto me even after showing me at all. Needless to say she was told to gtf

 

[Muppetboy]

5 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

Exactly, still wonder if I dreamt it up at times😂

[milky_26]

21 minutes ago, Muppetboy said:

Had a date at the kelpies with a lass , a nurse from wishaw. Really chatty and bubbly and it was clear what she was after but she told me about her recent sex life and mentioned an itch she had downstairs. I was like wtf and steered the chat away and made a quick exit. Later when I was home she sent me an actual picture of the infected area and she was still trying to come onto me even after showing me at all. Needless to say she was told to gtf

she just wanted you to scratch her itch

[Muppetboy]

Nowt so queer as folk

[Greedy Jambo]

POF is like 90% NHS staff. 

[Greedy Jambo]

On 27/04/2022 at 13:40, Morgan said:

 

A Fiat Spider is indeed one of our cars.

 

 

 

Knew it. 

[JudyJudyJudy]

5 hours ago, Poseidon said:

Bit silly on her part still using it then

I know as you will meet each other and then see it all. Daft

1 hour ago, Muppetboy said:

Had a date at the kelpies with a lass , a nurse from wishaw. Really chatty and bubbly and it was clear what she was after but she told me about her recent sex life and mentioned an itch she had downstairs. I was like wtf and steered the chat away and made a quick exit. Later when I was home she sent me an actual picture of the infected area and she was still trying to come onto me even after showing me at all. Needless to say she was told to gtf

Oh yuck

1 hour ago, Muppetboy said:

Nowt so queer as folk

Now thats true  

[Morgan]

34 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said:

 

Knew it. 

You’re not so daft as you’re cabbage looking.  👍

[Greedy Jambo]

1 hour ago, Morgan said:

You’re not so daft as you’re cabbage looking.  👍

 

I'll take it. 

That's as close to a complement as i'll be getting from you. 😂

Edited April 28, 2022 by Greedy Jambo

[Morgan]

1 hour ago, Greedy Jambo said:

 

I'll take it. 

That's as close to a complement as i'll be getting from you. 😂

It’s ‘compliment’.

 

A ‘complement’ is used when something is made better, or enhanced.

 

A ‘compliment’ is a courteous remark which expresses admiration.

 

You’re correct though, it’s the closest you’ll come.  👍

 

 

[Greedy Jambo]

2 minutes ago, Morgan said:

It’s ‘compliment’.

 

A ‘complement’ is used when something is made better, or enhanced.

 

A ‘compliment’ is a courteous remark which expresses admiration.

 

You’re correct though, it’s the closest you’ll come.  👍

 

 

 

You're a nightmare. 

 

[Morgan]

1 minute ago, Greedy Jambo said:

 

You're a nightmare. 

 

Is that a compliment or a complement ?

 

 

[Greedy Jambo]

2 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Is that a compliment or a complement ?

 

 

 

It's a Fiat. 

[Morgan]

Just now, Greedy Jambo said:

 

It's a Fiat. 

The Spider is just the run-around.

 

The other two cars complement our Villa nicely.

 

Now, if you’ve got any more to say, can we carry out the entire dialogue in English?

 

Please.  🙏

 

 

 

 

[Greedy Jambo]

[Konrad von Carstein]

9 hours ago, Morgan said:

It’s ‘compliment’.

 

A ‘complement’ is used when something is made better, or enhanced.

 

A ‘compliment’ is a courteous remark which expresses admiration.

 

You’re correct though, it’s the closest you’ll come.  👍

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Greedy Jambo said:

 

You're a nightmare. 

 

 

9 hours ago, Morgan said:

Is that a compliment or a complement ?

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Greedy Jambo said:

 

It's a Fiat. 

 

9 hours ago, Morgan said:

The Spider is just the run-around.

 

The other two cars complement our Villa nicely.

 

Now, if you’ve got any more to say, can we carry out the entire dialogue in English?

 

Please.  🙏

 

 

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Greedy Jambo said:

Lads.

This isn't an online dating site, stop flirting with each other and take your sexually supressed overtures to PM.

 

 

[JudyJudyJudy]

3 hours ago, Konrad von Carstein said:

This isn't an online dating site,

awe naw 

[Konrad von Carstein]

3 minutes ago, JamesM48 said:

awe naw 

I thought that would dissapoint you.

 

[JudyJudyJudy]

2 minutes ago, Konrad von Carstein said:

I thought that would dissapoint you.

 

there are other dating sites so ive heard..................