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Unashamedly crap jokes (some are pure gold!)


Smithee

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A hawk, lion and skunk were having a debate over who was the best.

Hawk: I can fly & have the best sight.

Lion: I'm the king of animals.

Skunk: I don't have to fight.

A crocodile came & swallowed all of them. Hawk, Lion & Stinker.

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whodanny
14 hours ago, A Boy Named Crow said:

What's in a name eh 😉

:2thumbsup:

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samgolden
On 05/01/2021 at 22:14, superjack said:

My wife left me for a tractor salesman. Just got a John Deere letter.

I gave up my obsession for tractors years ago you could say I’m a ex-tractor fan 

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Bunny Munro

Been watching a lot of Roman lesbian pornography.

 

Just saw two girls Caesaring.

Edited by Bunny Munro
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Daddy, why do people hang horses?" asked my daughter.

"Nobody hangs horses darling," I replied.

"Who told you that people hang horses?"

"I just heard mummy on the phone saying that her new boss was hung like a horse!"

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A husband and wife are lying in bed, having just wakened from a night's sleep.

 

Wife:  "I had a dream I was at Walmart."

Husband: "I had a dream I was in bed with two women."

Wife: "Was I one of the women?"

Husband. "No, you were at Walmart."

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My mate once said, "The first car you drive is as memorable as your first kiss."

It's true. I still remember mine,

an old banger that stank of piss... For the life of me I can't remember what the car was though!

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132goals1958

Two businessmen in the centre of London were sitting down for a break in their soon to be new store. As yet the store wasn’t ready with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other.”I bet any minute now some old pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when sure enough a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek , and in a soft voice asked . “ What are you selling here.

 

One of the men replied sarcastically. We’re selling a*seholes  .

Without skipping a beat. The old woman said.” Must be doing well..... Only two left

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