Captain Slog Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 2 hours ago, superjack said: Very nearly pmsl, literally Quote Link to post Share on other sites
narre Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 A hawk, lion and skunk were having a debate over who was the best. Hawk: I can fly & have the best sight. Lion: I'm the king of animals. Skunk: I don't have to fight. A crocodile came & swallowed all of them. Hawk, Lion & Stinker. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whodanny Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 14 hours ago, A Boy Named Crow said: What's in a name eh 😉 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
samgolden Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 On 05/01/2021 at 22:14, superjack said: My wife left me for a tractor salesman. Just got a John Deere letter. I gave up my obsession for tractors years ago you could say I’m a ex-tractor fan Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bunny Munro Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 (edited) Been watching a lot of Roman lesbian pornography. Just saw two girls Caesaring. Edited January 9 by Bunny Munro Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Slog Posted Thursday at 01:40 Share Posted Thursday at 01:40 Never call a horrible cow of a woman a *****. She lacks both the depth and warmth Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trotter Posted Thursday at 02:47 Share Posted Thursday at 02:47 It's a shame you don't see more kids called Lance these days. Back in medieval times they were called Lance a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
narre Posted Thursday at 12:30 Share Posted Thursday at 12:30 Daddy, why do people hang horses?" asked my daughter. "Nobody hangs horses darling," I replied. "Who told you that people hang horses?" "I just heard mummy on the phone saying that her new boss was hung like a horse!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
superjack Posted Friday at 12:48 Share Posted Friday at 12:48 What's the difference between a tick and the Eiffel tower? Nothing they're both Paris sites. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Maple Leaf Posted Friday at 22:53 Share Posted Friday at 22:53 A husband and wife are lying in bed, having just wakened from a night's sleep. Wife: "I had a dream I was at Walmart." Husband: "I had a dream I was in bed with two women." Wife: "Was I one of the women?" Husband. "No, you were at Walmart." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
narre Posted Friday at 23:32 Share Posted Friday at 23:32 I'm having difficulty remembering the brand name of fizzy sweets I used to enjoy as a kid, so I'm going on a Refresher course Quote Link to post Share on other sites
narre Posted Friday at 23:33 Share Posted Friday at 23:33 My mate once said, "The first car you drive is as memorable as your first kiss." It's true. I still remember mine, an old banger that stank of piss... For the life of me I can't remember what the car was though! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
superjack Posted Saturday at 10:04 Share Posted Saturday at 10:04 The vaccine war is on. Asda offering the Oxford / Astra Zenica for £2.00 Tesco doing 3 for a Pfizer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
132goals1958 Posted Sunday at 14:00 Share Posted Sunday at 14:00 Two businessmen in the centre of London were sitting down for a break in their soon to be new store. As yet the store wasn’t ready with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other.”I bet any minute now some old pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we’re selling. No sooner were the words out of his mouth when sure enough a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek , and in a soft voice asked . “ What are you selling here. One of the men replied sarcastically. We’re selling a*seholes . Without skipping a beat. The old woman said.” Must be doing well..... Only two left Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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