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The all new "seethe" thread


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IronJambo
1 hour ago, Lord BJ said:

Getting older and effects on body. There is not a day I don’t wake up due to some aching or pain. 
 

The worst of it is I have never worked a physical job. 

The latter is probably why.

 

Getting older creeps up on you and then explodes in your face. I was always fine until I had a hernia at 38. I'm in my early 40's now and get a recurring and persistent pain in my foot that I think started over 3 years and I've been close to slipping a disc in my back a few times. The latter is the bigger concern with the odd crippling muscle spasm happening to prevent it.

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Harry Potter
On 28/07/2021 at 08:53, Harry Potter said:

Traffic lights on the Drumbrae south, seethin.  thought this work was done a few weeks back.

Still 2 big holes in the road, no sign of anyone working, ack well its only

a major road, no urgency , no surprise.

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Der Kaiser
9 hours ago, Tazio said:

Cramp. Woke up a few minutes ago in agony, eventually managed to get my foot flat on the ground to stop it but now I’ve got an aching calf. First time in ages and I’d forgotten how sore it is. 

 

The cramp behind the knee is the one that kills me. When your heel just keeps moving closer to your butt and its impossible to stretch your leg. I've been close to tears with this too often.

 

 

Always reminds me of my idea for a military weapon that would change combat for ever.

 

A Ray gun that weaponises Pins and Needles. Imagine being able to snipe someone silently who is perhaps holding hostages in a bank vault. You hit him on the leg, he immediately develops pins and needles and you simply strut in, mock him, say something witty, knock him over and handcuff him.

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A Boy Named Crow
1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said:

 

The cramp behind the knee is the one that kills me. When your heel just keeps moving closer to your butt and its impossible to stretch your leg. I've been close to tears with this too often.

 

 

Always reminds me of my idea for a military weapon that would change combat for ever.

 

A Ray gun that weaponises Pins and Needles. Imagine being able to snipe someone silently who is perhaps holding hostages in a bank vault. You hit him on the leg, he immediately develops pins and needles and you simply strut in, mock him, say something witty, knock him over and handcuff him.

I like this! How about a secondary weapon that goes for the funny bone?

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A Boy Named Crow

The Olymics. Two weeks where folk watch people they've never heard of do things that don't matter. 

 

"So and so won the 3m springboard diving"...did they, aye?

 

Madness 

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Salad Fingers
14 hours ago, A Boy Named Crow said:

The Olymics. Two weeks where folk watch people they've never heard of do things that don't matter. 

 

"So and so won the 3m springboard diving"...did they, aye?

 

Madness 

 

First item on the news as well. Couldn't give a shiny shite who won what in rowing. 

 

I noticed they have BMX and skateboarding this year :laugh:

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On 27/07/2021 at 19:35, 151 said:

Cyclists. On the road. Since the new laws where you have to give them even more room I feel like the ones I have encountered are deliberately taking more room also. 

 

It's the full kit wankers I feel sorry for. They must be at rock bottom so fair play for doing some exercise. 

 

Can you imagine seeing a 40-50 year old man on a grass space in a full kit sprinting about the pitch? :lol:

I see your cyclists and raise you a) folk doing 20mph in a 30mph zone and b) unmarked delivery cars/vans crawling along looking for door numbers while still taking up the main road space. Both sets of drivers would be classed as justifiable homicides if I were a judge.

Edited by jonesy
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Salad Fingers

People smoking weed in the communal garden. Had to shut the windows to stop the smell getting in. The wee one has a temperature as well so we're trying to cool the house down. It has to be the smelliest, most anti-social way to get a buzz. Never got a smell like that with solid but no one smokes that these days. 

 

The house absolutely stinks of it now. 

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IronJambo
23 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

First item on the news as well. Couldn't give a shiny shite who won what in rowing. 

 

I noticed they have BMX and skateboarding this year :laugh:

I can't be hooped with the Olympics generally. 

BMX and Skateboarding is a great addition to it though (we had BMX in London 2012). Some of them have got insane skills and deserve recognition.

Team GB should be hanging their heads in shame though, I believe Charlotte Worthington had to crowdfund to get there as they decided they were only funding blokes on BMX's

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3fingersreid
23 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

People smoking weed in the communal garden. Had to shut the windows to stop the smell getting in. The wee one has a temperature as well so we're trying to cool the house down. It has to be the smelliest, most anti-social way to get a buzz. Never got a smell like that with solid but no one smokes that these days. 

 

The house absolutely stinks of it now. 

I agree the smell is disgusting , not sure the people smoking it realise that when they’ve finished it makes them stink too? 
I’m at my angriest regarding the smell when sitting behind or beside a vehicle and someone is smoking it and driving , no different from drink driving in my view and should receive a heavy punishment . 
 

 

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Governor Tarkin
On 30/07/2021 at 07:02, Lord BJ said:

Getting older and effects on body. There is not a day I don’t wake up due to some aching or pain. 
 

The worst of it is I have never worked a physical job. 

 

 

On 30/07/2021 at 08:13, IronJambo said:

The latter is probably why.

 

 

This.

 

I had a physical job until my early 30s and it set me up well for the following decade. Glad I quit when I did, mind. Howfing those big lumps of stone about can only be good for a man for so long I reckon.

 

In the latter half of my 40s now and still suffering from post furlough and young kid fatigue, but after a trip or two at sea on a regular rotation with no booze, 3 square meals per day, 8 hours sleep a night, half a dozen good runs per week, and four good sessions of resistance training, I can feel fitter and stronger than an almost any time in my life. 

 

You still getting bother with the shoulder/back, LBJ?

 

 

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Salad Fingers
2 hours ago, 3fingersreid said:

I agree the smell is disgusting , not sure the people smoking it realise that when they’ve finished it makes them stink too? 
I’m at my angriest regarding the smell when sitting behind or beside a vehicle and someone is smoking it and driving , no different from drink driving in my view and should receive a heavy punishment . 
 

 

 

Yes! That is ridiculous. Seen a guy in his fifties at the beach a while ago who was in full leathers smoking a joint and getting back on his bike. Idiotic behaviour. 

 

I know it's tolerated a lot more these days but it seems to give people the impression they can just smoke it whenever and wherever they like. 

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Lord BJ
45 minutes ago, Governor Tarkin said:

 

 

You still getting bother with the shoulder/back, LBJ?

 

 


Kind of, the injury itself isn’t horrendous now and had been back lifting, albeit one side was about half strength other. The problem is my body has started compensating for the injury and that’s causing another injury/problem. 
 

How’s things with you? You not heading off to sea again soon? Hope all good in Tarkin Towers👍

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Governor Tarkin
29 minutes ago, Lord BJ said:


Kind of, the injury itself isn’t horrendous now and had been back lifting, albeit one side was about half strength other. The problem is my body has started compensating for the injury and that’s causing another injury/problem. 
 

How’s things with you? You not heading off to sea again soon? Hope all good in Tarkin Towers👍

 

You really need to watch out for that natural tendency to compensate. I know so many folk who have ended up chasing injuries and tweaks for years on end. We're all just too desperate to get back into it or train through it. I guess that the gains seem to tank a lot quicker as we age, so the temptation is to just work around problems and store some more up for the future in the process.

 

Flying out to the Netherlands for a spot of quarantine tomorrow morning, so expect a flurry of shitposting while I'm locked up.  First time I'll have been in Amsterdam and unable to indulge in its many delights.

 

:muggy:

 

Should be home by early October though, so will make the boys' birthdays. 👍

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Just received a £100 penalty through the post for sending in my land and buildings transaction tax return late. :berra:

 

A tax I didn't need to pay and a return I didn't send in 😄 Seems legit so I'm assuming my solicitor dropped the ball or was this maybe something I should have done? 

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Salad Fingers

Why do pricks in work vans think it's okay to drive up your arse? Is it the thought that if they crash into you they don't need to worry about the insurance? Or is it them trying not to lose face in front of their daft wee workmates?  They don't realise that the closer they get, the slower I go. Had two in a Malcolm van do exactly that last night. Hope he enjoyed cruising along at 30 in a 50 the fat [email protected] 

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Stu_HMFC
1 hour ago, Salad Fingers said:

Why do pricks in work vans think it's okay to drive up your arse? Is it the thought that if they crash into you they don't need to worry about the insurance? Or is it them trying not to lose face in front of their daft wee workmates?  They don't realise that the closer they get, the slower I go. Had two in a Malcolm van do exactly that last night. Hope he enjoyed cruising along at 30 in a 50 the fat [email protected] 

I have done a bit of driving work over the years I hate driving up someones arse at the best of times even in my car never done it in the van but I think its down to delivery times I've came across a few drivers who are always in a mad hurry everything is 100mph loading van, walking about and their driving. 

 

What I hate what pisses me off is some W&NK waiting for a long stretch of road to over take you but they don't over take you they try and pass about 3 cars accident waiting to happen. Some tit was up my arse a year or so ago coming up the road from a mates in Gala got pissed off with the boy every time he moved out to over take the foot went down on the accelerator he was behind me right up to Edinburgh.  

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iantjambo
1 hour ago, Salad Fingers said:

Why do pricks in work vans think it's okay to drive up your arse? Is it the thought that if they crash into you they don't need to worry about the insurance? Or is it them trying not to lose face in front of their daft wee workmates?  They don't realise that the closer they get, the slower I go. Had two in a Malcolm van do exactly that last night. Hope he enjoyed cruising along at 30 in a 50 the fat [email protected] 


Couple of weeks back, I was going along Calder Road at about 5.30pm. I was doing slightly under the limit (40 mph) as it was quite busy. There was a woman in the car behind me and right up my area. I could see her in the rear view mirror, impatiently tapping on her steering wheel.

 Eventually, she lost all patience and pulled into the bus lane to overtake me, screaming along it towards the roundabout whilst I sat with a small smile on my face. I bet her face was a picture when she saw the bus lane camera that I already knew was up ahead 😁

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Stu_HMFC
1 hour ago, iantjambo said:


Couple of weeks back, I was going along Calder Road at about 5.30pm. I was doing slightly under the limit (40 mph) as it was quite busy. There was a woman in the car behind me and right up my area. I could see her in the rear view mirror, impatiently tapping on her steering wheel.

 Eventually, she lost all patience and pulled into the bus lane to overtake me, screaming along it towards the roundabout whilst I sat with a small smile on my face. I bet her face was a picture when she saw the bus lane camera that I already knew was up ahead 😁

Haha! she will probably try to appeal it and give a pathetic excuse. new bus lane past the airport kicks in at 730 in the morning on the way to work as soon as 730 hits into the right lane had a twat in and out left and right lanes from b and m at the gyle nearly hit me cause he pulled in to go under the under pass. got to the bus lane he never noticed was right behind a slow moving bus i'm in the the right lane he tried indicating to pull into the lane in front of me matched his speed well below 40 due to the bus. I hope he enjoyed his drive right to newbridge roundabout in the bus lane and got a ticket I wasn't letting the pr**k in. 

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iantjambo
4 minutes ago, Stu_HMFC said:

Haha! she will probably try to appeal it and give a pathetic excuse. new bus lane past the airport kicks in at 730 in the morning on the way to work as soon as 730 hits into the right lane had a twat in and out left and right lanes from b and m at the gyle nearly hit me cause he pulled in to go under the under pass. got to the bus lane he never noticed was right behind a slow moving bus i'm in the the right lane he tried indicating to pull into the lane in front of me matched his speed well below 40 due to the bus. I hope he enjoyed his drive right to newbridge roundabout in the bus lane and got a ticket I wasn't letting the pr**k in. 


I get a sense of satisfaction when people do things like that and get their comeuppance. See it quite a lot on Harry Lauder Road at the junction at ‘The Range’. The right lane (Heading towards portobello) is often busy, while the left lane (for the left turn heading towards Portobello high school) is usually quite empty. A lot of dicks will scream up the empty left lane and then indicate to get into the right, effectively skipping the que. at pleases me greatly when people (myself included) don’t let them in. 

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Stu_HMFC
2 minutes ago, iantjambo said:


I get a sense of satisfaction when people do things like that and get their comeuppance. See it quite a lot on Harry Lauder Road at the junction at ‘The Range’. The right lane (Heading towards portobello) is often busy, while the left lane (for the left turn heading towards Portobello high school) is usually quite empty. A lot of dicks will scream up the empty left lane and then indicate to get into the right, effectively skipping the que. at pleases me greatly when people (myself included) don’t let them in. 

Yea I know exactly what one you're on about I have been caught in that left lane before my mistake just been in the wrong lane so I had to just turn left and navigate my way back to the junction one at the junction near the bus station also going towards seafield merges into one lane always get someone try to speed up and push in.

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Students. What a bunch of arseholes.

 

Spent most of yesterday offering to help a bunch of postgrads with their presentations that were due today. One even assured me all his work was ready and good to go. Out of 10, only 3 turned up to present today.

 

What a monumental waste of time and energy.

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IronJambo

It's been glorious for the last 17 months. Sadly, all good things come to an end and we arrived at my in-laws an hour or so ago. Old marshmallow face has something in the oven that probably used to resemble meat. There will be gravy which will fail badly to disguise the fact that this meat has been utterly destroyed. I'll have sneezing fits in 24 hours that will last for 2 days because I'm allergic to their house. If I try not to be an ignoramus then I'll be an expert on CIS *insert city by the time i leave. I will most likely be glued to my laptop with headphones on.

 

I'm a heathen aetheist but please can all the Mormons, scientologists, and Amish (😁😂) amongst us say a little prayer for me.

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milky_26
2 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

It's been glorious for the last 17 months. Sadly, all good things come to an end and we arrived at my in-laws an hour or so ago. Old marshmallow face has something in the oven that probably used to resemble meat. There will be gravy which will fail badly to disguise the fact that this meat has been utterly destroyed. I'll have sneezing fits in 24 hours that will last for 2 days because I'm allergic to their house. If I try not to be an ignoramus then I'll be an expert on CIS *insert city by the time i leave. I will most likely be glued to my laptop with headphones on.

 

I'm a heathen aetheist but please can all the Mormons, scientologists, and Amish (😁😂) amongst us say a little prayer for me.

:pleasing:

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iantjambo
1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

It's been glorious for the last 17 months. Sadly, all good things come to an end and we arrived at my in-laws an hour or so ago. Old marshmallow face has something in the oven that probably used to resemble meat. There will be gravy which will fail badly to disguise the fact that this meat has been utterly destroyed. I'll have sneezing fits in 24 hours that will last for 2 days because I'm allergic to their house. If I try not to be an ignoramus then I'll be an expert on CIS *insert city by the time i leave. I will most likely be glued to my laptop with headphones on.

 

I'm a heathen aetheist but please can all the Mormons, scientologists, and Amish (😁😂) amongst us say a little prayer for me.


:yas: 

 

 

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Konrad von Carstein
2 hours ago, IronJambo said:

It's been glorious for the last 17 months. Sadly, all good things come to an end and we arrived at my in-laws an hour or so ago. Old marshmallow face has something in the oven that probably used to resemble meat. There will be gravy which will fail badly to disguise the fact that this meat has been utterly destroyed. I'll have sneezing fits in 24 hours that will last for 2 days because I'm allergic to their house. If I try not to be an ignoramus then I'll be an expert on CIS *insert city by the time i leave. I will most likely be glued to my laptop with headphones on.

 

I'm a heathen aetheist but please can all the Mormons, scientologists, and Amish (😁😂) amongst us say a little prayer for me.

You sound delightful :lol:

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IronJambo
1 minute ago, Konrad von Carstein said:

 

3 minutes ago, Konrad von Carstein said:

You sound delightful :lol:

 

There's nothing delightful about this at all.

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Konrad von Carstein
Just now, IronJambo said:

There's nothing delightful about this at all.

:lol:

 

I hear you, my ex FiL was/is a welt... Pain in the arse at family events...

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IronJambo
1 minute ago, Konrad von Carstein said:

:lol:

 

I hear you, my ex FiL was/is a welt... Pain in the arse at family events...

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

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milky_26
11 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

it sounds a barrel of laughs

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Carl Fredrickson
39 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

 

I missed your Christmas tales last year. Glad to hear you are back on track :robboyas:

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Der Kaiser

Not spending time with my in-laws was one of the positives from my divorce. Huge positive.

 

With years to reflect back on it not, it was probably worth the cost of taking on all the marital debt just so I didnt have to sit there watching yet another home improvement programme. I used to lie and say I had marking from the week to do to avoid visiting them for lunch or tea quite a lot. They both drank like fish as well and quite often the MiL would drink herself into an right state....including birthday parties we had at the house for my boys. 2nd, 3rd, 4th birthday parties and she'd be shit faced by 8pm. Utter embarrassment. I'd often pretend to have had a few beers just so I could avoid driving them home.

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Lemongrab
1 hour ago, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

Best ask them if you can take a big jug into your room tonight. Just in case that chicken still has work to do.

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Sooperstar
5 hours ago, IronJambo said:

It's been glorious for the last 17 months. Sadly, all good things come to an end and we arrived at my in-laws an hour or so ago. Old marshmallow face has something in the oven that probably used to resemble meat. There will be gravy which will fail badly to disguise the fact that this meat has been utterly destroyed. I'll have sneezing fits in 24 hours that will last for 2 days because I'm allergic to their house. If I try not to be an ignoramus then I'll be an expert on CIS *insert city by the time i leave. I will most likely be glued to my laptop with headphones on.

 

I'm a heathen aetheist but please can all the Mormons, scientologists, and Amish (😁😂) amongst us say a little prayer for me.

 

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IronJambo
23 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

Best ask them if you can take a big jug into your room tonight. Just in case that chicken still has work to do.

Big jug you say?

 

 

IMG_20210812_181527__01.jpg

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On 11/08/2021 at 21:11, IronJambo said:

My father-in-law was always very gutless and it seems he never ever had a backbone. Doesn't like "darkies, homosexuals, or those foreign types". He doesn't like them quietly though as he's scared to offend his own big toe. 

 

Anyway.... I've been here for 4 and a half hours and Marshmallow face (the mother-in-law) served up a surprisingly edible dinner that had chicken that was much wetter than anything you could expect from a 70 odd year old, unless of course you wish to count tena lady pants. However I kid you not, I've nearly shit my pants twice since. This woman just can't cook.

 

Quite a funny moment whilst I was writing this. Mrs IJ put the wee guy to bed and she was stuck in the room as the door handle wouldn't work 😂. I had to put a credit card under the door and tell her how to open the door with it. Marshmallow face was stood scratching her head and wiggling the handle murmuring "it's never done this before"

 

Wayne Rooney will be round shortly

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iantjambo
On 11/08/2021 at 21:52, Carl Fredrickson said:

 

I missed your Christmas tales last year. Glad to hear you are back on track :robboyas:


Agreed. Last Christmas felt a bit empty without his tales of woe :lol:

 

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I get that the face masks are not fun to wear, but is it so hard for folk to wear them in shops as is actually still the legislation?

 

I work in one, and have a mask on 8-9 hours a day, not asking a lot for you to wear one for 5-10 mins getting messages.

 

workies the worst offenders of the lot 

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Salad Fingers
19 hours ago, Deke Thornton said:

TV programmes unnecessarily fronted by some completely superfluous ‘celeb’ basically enjoying a paid holiday.

EG:

The Mekon with Sue Perkins

Tony Robinson’s World War 1

Brain Surgery with Alan Titchmarsh

How to be Effortlessly Annoying with Susan Calman 

Danny Dyer’s Quantum Physics

etc.

 

(OK I made a few up!)

 

 

"Walking With........" seems to be a big one these days. Usually in Cornwall. 

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William H. Bonney
20 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said:

 

"Walking With........" seems to be a big one these days. Usually in Cornwall. 


Walking on the M1 with Rylan is one I’d like to see. 

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William H. Bonney
2 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

double post 

Edited by Furious Styles
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Helzibob

A new cycle path opened near me this year. Cyclists still choose to cycle on the road, making it difficult to overtake. 😏

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9 minutes ago, Helzibob said:

A new cycle path opened near me this year. Cyclists still choose to cycle on the road, making it difficult to overtake. 😏

Should be free under the law to squash 'em.

 

In a nice change of pace, a cyclist went to overtake me this morning (I was just pulling away from the lights and he was already hurtling down the road behind me). He realised he'd arsed it up and waved me through to undertake him. Wasn't in any rush, but appreciated the gesture and both of us went on our merry ways without incident nor injury. How it should be.

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1 hour ago, Deke Thornton said:

‘But it’s only a tiny minority of cyclists that are inconsiderate or who break the law’!

 

:rofl:

 

You do know cyclists are allowed on the road? 

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Samuel Camazzola
On 14/08/2021 at 11:06, Furious Styles said:


Walking on the M1 with Rylan is one I’d like to see. 

Harsh. I'm looking forward to the big man present us with the Premiership trophy come May. 

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luckyBatistuta

This council need ####ing emptied. One third the length of George street a bicycle lane now. A lovely dreamy sunny day too, how many of them do we get a year🙄 

1D036ADA-9B53-4C65-9C20-E6DC7EE83764.jpeg

Edited by luckyBatistuta
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Salad Fingers

I'm extremely disappointed with the lack of seethe over first day at school pictures this year. Has everyone gone soft during the lockdown? 

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