depression

[Gizmo]

The original question I asked wasn't "is it cool to have a couple of beers now and again when you've got depression?" it was, should folk be getting tanked when they've got depression. For clarity, getting "tanked" - consuming mass quantities of alcohol on a frequent basis.

 

Yeah I already addressed that point of long-term abuse in my first post. I replied to your additional post as I thought you were referring to the odd drink and not major regular hammerings.

[CavySlaveJambo]

I think the problem with alcohol is also with people's medication interacting with alcohol. The meds and alcohol can interact and not do the same as they would do seperately.

[Gizmo]

Alcohol does not react or affect SSRIs (fluoxetine, citalopram etc).

 

That doesn't mean it's a good idea to knock it back like there's no tomorrow. Certain side effects, particularly in the early days of adjusting to new medication, can be exacerbated by booze. And they will be contra-indicated by the pharmaceutical companies - though mostly as a disclaimer given the lack of interaction.

 

I don't know anything about the stronger anti depressants or other meds.

[Hansel]

Don't really drink much myself nowadays, but I do recall being down in the dumps a lot in my late teen/ early 20s, and I think booze def played a part in that. Would feel crap for days after. Better off keeping in to special occasions rather than every weekend IMO.

[CavySlaveJambo]

I am now in a point of time realising and dealing with how much being autistic truly sucks and limits what I can and can't do.

It means I virtually have no life, and everyday is a struggle.

 

There are things I would have loved to have done if I had the money, things my sister is currently doing, that I would have done if I could financially.

 

It also includes jobs which people think I would have been good at are out as I just would not be able to cope.

 

Not to mention the ability to go places when you want to not have to try and time everything to the nearest minute to avoid crowds or places being too busy (the only place I "cope" in crowds is actually in a football ground and even then it is only just)

[Gorgiewave]

I am now in a point of time realising and dealing with how much being autistic truly sucks and limits what I can and can't do.

It means I virtually have no life, and everyday is a struggle.

 

There are things I would have loved to have done if I had the money, things my sister is currently doing, that I would have done if I could financially.

 

It also includes jobs which people think I would have been good at are out as I just would not be able to cope.

 

Not to mention the ability to go places when you want to not have to try and time everything to the nearest minute to avoid crowds or places being too busy (the only place I "cope" in crowds is actually in a football ground and even then it is only just)

 

Of course I don't know your circumstances, but I almost certainly have Asperger Syndrome, I don't like speaking to strangers (it makes me very nervous), the noise of a TV makes me nervous (though I really love football crowds). I have broken out in floods of sweat on several occasions just because somebody spoke to me. I would say, however, that being a teacher, having to interact with many people of different backgrounds and having to take the initiative has, after six years, done me a fair amount of good. I am more confident and more assertive because of this. It might be possible for your condition to improve over time.

[peter_hmfc]

@: Lionel Logue: I'm 21. Yes I'm studying but I also have a PT job already, I get on well with everyone but nothing ever really comes of it, despite trying to start and hold conversations with people it just never leads to anything. As for people at college it's pretty much the same They're great but also due to nerves and lack of confidence I have days where I just don't feel I can/want to talk to anyone, undoing all the work I did before.

 

@Gorgiewave: I've tried joining new clubs etc, but due to studying (in which I'm way behind), I feel guilty if I'm committing free time (that could be used for studying) to other things. I took a Spanish night class in the hope of meeting new people, though this backfired as it cost a lot, and just gave me more work to do. Joining other clubs/social activities is definitely something I am looking to do, but right now (until exams end, etc) I just can't afford the time, so fear another 5 months or so like this. Also, you definitely don't seem like a w@nk?r.

 

@PullShapes: I wouldn't say that's sad at all, actually sounds really fun . I joined a gym but due to lack of progress (discussion for another time/thread) I packed it in. I'm usually the one who starts most of the conversations with other people, there's very few people who come over and sit with me, it's the other way around. I'm pretty much forgotten by the other person as soon as we're out of eyesight. As above, joining groups is something I just fear I don't have the time for, added to my lack of self esteem/confidence.

 

@Budgie: It's more the fact that it's been like this for years despite trying . I always just wonder is it me? Am I doing something wrong? What is it other people don't like? I'm not giving up, I've started doing more things I'd never have done years ago. Fair enough they are on my own, but it's an improvement surely ?

 

@Ray Gin: I'm not at university (though I've applied, but that's a conversation for another time). There are a few sports clubs I've been looking at around Edinburgh, but my time is limited, as is confidence.

 

@blondejamtart: It's not being on my own that's necessarily depressing, it's what it means. That I haven't ever done the simplest social things that EVERYONE seems to whether occassionally or frequently, nightclubs, days out, restaurants, holidays etc. It makes me feel inferior, left out and unwanted, as though many people don't know I exist. Generally missing out on life in a whole and watching my life pass me by is about as bad as well.

 

A lot of people suggesting joining social activities, which is of course a great suggestion, I just probably should have said I don't have time what with college FT, 2 night classes, a PT job and catching up on studying from earlier.

 

Also didn't mean to clog up the board with a massive super-reply-post, wanted to reply a few days ago but couldn't get round to it.

 

Most importantly thanks a lot a lot to everyone for replying, definitely makes me feel better knowing that kind, considerate people are there to offer advice/support

Edited February 6, 2013 by peter_hmfc

[gordiegords]

Peter, out of interest, what kind of things interest you? away from your busy schedule.

Edited February 6, 2013 by gordiegords

[peter_hmfc]

Realised the way I went on about being busy made it look like I was studying for 3 degrees while ruling the world. .

 

Meh, I like a lot of random stuff. With the risk of turning this into a dating thread, my interests are just simple things like football, movies, music, writing, badminton, also trying to learn Spanish (not going well). Nothing special, I know I need to get more and that's something I'm aiming to do, try more new things at least once, like some wannabe Karl Pilkington.

[shaun.lawson]

Peter, there is something that concerns me. Greatly actually. Have you ever sought treatment for your depression - by which I mean, counselling?

 

All the suggestions others have made are great - but how can you expect a medical condition to go away by itself?

[Gorgiewave]

Realised the way I went on about being busy made it look like I was studying for 3 degrees while ruling the world. .

 

Meh, I like a lot of random stuff. With the risk of turning this into a dating thread, my interests are just simple things like football, movies, music, writing, badminton, also trying to learn Spanish (not going well). Nothing special, I know I need to get more and that's something I'm aiming to do, try more new things at least once, like some wannabe Karl Pilkington.

 

You're depressed because you're missing a ba'.

 

What you say, "I feel guilty if I'm committing free time (that could be used for studying) to other things."

 

This might be part of the complex that makes you depressed. I have the same thing. I ended up in hospital in fifth year with high blood pressure and have had insomnia since 2003 because of, among other things, worrying about whether I would get a first. I did, but it really wasn't necessary to study as much as I did and end up ill. I was terrified of failure and always felt guilty if I wasn't studying. There is a limit. After a certain time, studying more doesn't make you learn more, it just makes you tired and you don't take things in. You could declare a given day as free. To help separate it, make sure you leave the house or don't go near the library. Go to the Hearts game, go and visit a town you haven't been to, etc. A change of scene can do a lot to improve mood. If you have the money and time, you could go away at Easter. Always a pint going for any Hearts fan who visits Madrid. You might come back thinking that the pressure seems a lot less. At the moment, I have lots and lots of translations, mostly about a field in Colombia that's been destroyed by an oil pipeline, and I am sick of it. I have said to the agency that I don't want any more until Monday, because I need the rest. I think I'll go back to it feeling fresher.

 

Do exercise, leave the house, eat healthily.

 

Good luck.

[Guest Bilel Mohsni]

I am now in a point of time realising and dealing with how much being autistic truly sucks and limits what I can and can't do.

It means I virtually have no life, and everyday is a struggle.

 

There are things I would have loved to have done if I had the money, things my sister is currently doing, that I would have done if I could financially.

 

It also includes jobs which people think I would have been good at are out as I just would not be able to cope.

 

Not to mention the ability to go places when you want to not have to try and time everything to the nearest minute to avoid crowds or places being too busy (the only place I "cope" in crowds is actually in a football ground and even then it is only just)

 

I think you do really well mate. You are always good company and need to try and find a way to relax more. I know plenty people who are not autistic who struggle with situations that you appear to handle admirably.

 

Take care.

[peter_hmfc]

@shaun.lawson: I'd say it's just that I know what the problem is (that I have no friends), so I just focus on that more than attempting to get counselling or such. Not sure if that's a good way to go or not.

 

@Gorgiewave: The fact I'm way behind in studying obviously isn't great, but it's not the main thing. I suppose on the plus side it distracts me a bit and gives me something to focus on. I have a lot of free time on this week but you're right about over-doing it to the point where it becomes unneccessary. As for what I do it depends what's on . I could never go away though, due to the lack of foreign language skills, money and a passport. I'll admit I'm not sure what you meant about translations and the agency though, sorry. Congrats on getting you're ?first? though (but I'll admit I'm not sure what that is ).

 

Thanks both.

[Hansel]

How's everyone getting on?

[Gizmo]

How's everyone getting on?

 

Truthfully, it's been a hard few days personally. I slept most of the weekend because I couldn't face getting out of bed.

 

Puts such a strain on my missus my wonky sleeping patterns and disagreeable mood. I don't think she knows how much of a brave face and effort I put in to being a facsimile of myself for her and my son, sometimes I almost convince myself.

 

I know it's 75% chemical and 25% situational, and one makes the other worse and vice-versa.

 

Been the worst lengthy period of bleakness I've known since the issues first arose.

 

Nocturnal panic attacks are back with a vengeance, nightmares, lack of focus, crippling fatigue, self-doubt, no self-esteem and the crux of it, as always, a debilitating guilt complex. I'm not taking care of myself properly, over-eating, over-sleeping etc.

 

It will pass in time, hopefully for a good length of time.

 

It's why I'm good at listening and trying to help others regarding these conditions - I've been there, and still am like a stuck record. Frustratingly for me, understanding the condition well does not make it piss off!

 

C'est la vie. Thanks for the opportunity for a mild vent, probably needed it.

[Gorgiewave]

Good luck, Lionel. I've had many periods of depression lasting months at a time. I've even stopped in the street because I couldn't muster the energy or interest to take a single step.

 

The one thing I've found is that I've been a lot better since I met my girlfriend. It's not that she's "amazing" and solves everything, but the feeling of being "normal" and having plans. The thought of not having to be alone all weekend but have somebody to do things with did wonders for me. Also, working as a teacher and translator, I don't have the same sense of meaninglessness that I had when I was a clerical subsistence peasant in the Scottish Executive.

 

Conclusion: going through depression is an extended nightmare and, like AIDS, attacks the very thing that would help you get over it. One cannot "snap out of" depression. On the other hand, I don't think anything particularly unusual or difficult has to happen for things to start looking up.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Gorgiewave

[Budgie.]

 

 

Truthfully, it's been a hard few days personally. I slept most of the weekend because I couldn't face getting out of bed.

 

Puts such a strain on my missus my wonky sleeping patterns and disagreeable mood. I don't think she knows how much of a brave face and effort I put in to being a facsimile of myself for her and my son, sometimes I almost convince myself.

 

I know it's 75% chemical and 25% situational, and one makes the other worse and vice-versa.

 

Been the worst lengthy period of bleakness I've known since the issues first arose.

 

Nocturnal panic attacks are back with a vengeance, nightmares, lack of focus, crippling fatigue, self-doubt, no self-esteem and the crux of it, as always, a debilitating guilt complex. I'm not taking care of myself properly, over-eating, over-sleeping etc.

 

It will pass in time, hopefully for a good length of time.

 

It's why I'm good at listening and trying to help others regarding these conditions - I've been there, and still am like a stuck record. Frustratingly for me, understanding the condition well does not make it piss off!

 

C'est la vie. Thanks for the opportunity for a mild vent, probably needed it.

 

Take care LL. You'll get there bud

[Gizmo]

Take care LL. You'll get there bud

 

Cheers man. I am trying (very some would say) - I don't give in to it but it's a bit like wrestling with a bear, the bear never seems to get tired.

 

Thx.

[Hansel]

 

 

Truthfully, it's been a hard few days personally. I slept most of the weekend because I couldn't face getting out of bed.

 

Puts such a strain on my missus my wonky sleeping patterns and disagreeable mood. I don't think she knows how much of a brave face and effort I put in to being a facsimile of myself for her and my son, sometimes I almost convince myself.

 

I know it's 75% chemical and 25% situational, and one makes the other worse and vice-versa.

 

Been the worst lengthy period of bleakness I've known since the issues first arose.

 

Nocturnal panic attacks are back with a vengeance, nightmares, lack of focus, crippling fatigue, self-doubt, no self-esteem and the crux of it, as always, a debilitating guilt complex. I'm not taking care of myself properly, over-eating, over-sleeping etc.

 

It will pass in time, hopefully for a good length of time.

 

It's why I'm good at listening and trying to help others regarding these conditions - I've been there, and still am like a stuck record. Frustratingly for me, understanding the condition well does not make it piss off!

 

C'est la vie. Thanks for the opportunity for a mild vent, probably needed it.

That sounds horrible mate. Particularly the panic attacks at night as that must mess with your sleep pattern, which'll have a knock on affect with your other issues.

 

Aye, to put a brave face on must be difficult at times but some folk say this can help you come out the other end. "Fake it till you make it"

 

Hope you feel better soon. Keep your chin up

[Primavera]

Of course I don't know your circumstances, but I almost certainly have Asperger Syndrome, I don't like speaking to strangers (it makes me very nervous), the noise of a TV makes me nervous (though I really love football crowds). I have broken out in floods of sweat on several occasions just because somebody spoke to me. I would say, however, that being a teacher, having to interact with many people of different backgrounds and having to take the initiative has, after six years, done me a fair amount of good. I am more confident and more assertive because of this. It might be possible for your condition to improve over time.

 

I've posted on here before about my experience of depression but didnt mention what I believe is the root cause as I actually felt exhausted by the disclosure. Yourself and Cavy have prompted me to have a go though. It was pointed out to me by a Counsellor I was seeing 8 years ago that a lot of my "issues" sounded to her very like I had Aspergers. It was something she was experienced in dealing with so I did a lot of self analysis starting with doing all the tests available, reading a lot of Simon Baron-Cohen and using all of the online support networks I could find. Given the co-morbids I had, the obvious one being depression but more subtly I could remember my Mam taking me to see a psychologist when I was about 10 (That was in the late 70s so I must have been wierd) for what I am pretty sure with hindsight was sub-clinical Tourettes. It, and Aspergers, hadnt been "invented" then so the diagnosis was very bored with a high IQ and I was sent to the National Association for Gifted Children on a weekly basis, which was kind of a junior MENSA and did me no good whatsoever.

 

The real problems came for me in my 20's when I moved away from the social circle of my youth and realised how hard I found it to be naturally part of a group, for many years I made the same sad New Years resolution that this year I was going to change the way I behaved and fit in, even if it was just a tiny bit more than last year (I was completely unaware of Aspergers at this time), which I can see now is almost like someone who is paralysed resolving to walk. However, years of facing up to this have made me a lot more self-accepting, its just been very painful.

 

There are so many small things that "Neurotypical" (NT) people (People not on the Autistic Spectrum who are "normal" eg not Sociopaths or Psychopaths) take for granted. For example, I had 2 small children when I first became aware that I was probably on the Autistic Spectrum, it was a blinding revelation to me that all of the people who kept asking me questions about them were engaging in a social interaction that for them is natural. For my part, I was stopped in my tracks every time I was asked and struggled to answer - the immediate thought was "Is this person a stalker or a pervert - why are they interested in my children"? Life is full of these conundrums for Aspies but I have learnt by reading a lot to respond in a way that NT's expect. I've trained myself to say hello to people at work in the corridor, and actually look at them at the same time, for example, instead of looking at the floor or dodging into a doorway. That may sound trivial in the extreme but for me its a personal victory every time I manage to do it, I dont mean that lightly, doing things like this is as big a deal as getting a bonus at work.

 

One of the big things that has helped me is football, having something that interests me so much and is shared by so many people is a real help in social terms. I die on my feet if people do "small talk" as its a pointless engagement for me so I likely appear ignorant when I fail to respond to it, the truth is I just cant. Plenty of folk you can launch straight into footie with though so no "ice-breaking" required.

 

The positive side of Aspergers for me is my IQ and the way it works. I'm never going manage people with any success as I lack the empathy to get the best from them, however I'm great at absorbing and analysing data and have been involved in some really interesting projects at work because of it. The downside is the massive energy I expend getting through a day of meetings because I am basically acting in a manner counter to my nature at the same time as working.

 

The big negative is the amount of alcohol I've got through both as a disinhibitor and a reaction to the misery my inabilities have caused me. Disinhibitor is not entirely accurate, I dont want to interact with people a lot of the time when sober, what I get from alcohol is an interest in people as well as the ability to talk a bit.

 

I could ramble on at length about this but to avoid a wall of text won't. Thanks though Gorgiewave and Cavy for giving me the courage to "out" myself

[Beverley]

actually been a brutal few days, and didn't even get out of my bed yesterday. worst i've felt in weeks.

 

i wasn't going to come back on this thread after the round of lies causing as much upset as they did, but this thread WAS a source of help so there is no reason why that doesn't continue.

 

i expected the low this weekend as i would have been mums birthday, but i didn't expect to sink so low. to my credit though, even though i just wanted to obliterate my mind, the bottle of vodka in the freezer remains untouched. i did manage to drag myself to the football as well, although that was a real struggle.

 

i'm as of today, back in full time hours, but despite my asking not to be givn any lates for a while, first week back full time and i have a late on friday.

 

i've emailed round my colleagues to see if anyone would be good enough to help out, but being a friday i'm not holding out much hope.

 

added to the fact my manager did say to me if i could get cover i would have to be here til finishing. this was all despite me asking not to be tied to a shift where there would be pressure to find cover. so they give me the most difficult night to find cover!!

 

felt sick all afternoon about it. its not so much the later shift, its the being relied upon to be here, unable to escape if i take a panic attack. i've had a few since i've been back where i've had to lock myself in the loo til i start breathing properly again.

 

going through my diazepam more than when i was first off, and i don't like that.

 

 

feeling like i've hit a wall right now

 

still, i start CBT tomorrow, so onwards and upwards i hope

[Dusk_Till_Dawn]

Sometimes I think that I'm a bit depressed but then I read this thread and realise that I've just got a fair amount on my plate - plus a lot to be grateful for.

[Dusk_Till_Dawn]

Sometimes I think that I'm a bit depressed but then I read this thread and realise that I've just got a fair amount on my plate - plus a lot to be grateful for.

 

In saying that, at the age of 32 I do have a lot of guilt about decisions I've made and people I've let down or neglected for poor, selfish reasons.

[Quagmire]

actually been a brutal few days, and didn't even get out of my bed yesterday. worst i've felt in weeks.

 

i wasn't going to come back on this thread after the round of lies causing as much upset as they did, but this thread WAS a source of help so there is no reason why that doesn't continue.

 

i expected the low this weekend as i would have been mums birthday, but i didn't expect to sink so low. to my credit though, even though i just wanted to obliterate my mind, the bottle of vodka in the freezer remains untouched. i did manage to drag myself to the football as well, although that was a real struggle.

 

i'm as of today, back in full time hours, but despite my asking not to be givn any lates for a while, first week back full time and i have a late on friday.

 

i've emailed round my colleagues to see if anyone would be good enough to help out, but being a friday i'm not holding out much hope.

 

added to the fact my manager did say to me if i could get cover i would have to be here til finishing. this was all despite me asking not to be tied to a shift where there would be pressure to find cover. so they give me the most difficult night to find cover!!

 

felt sick all afternoon about it. its not so much the later shift, its the being relied upon to be here, unable to escape if i take a panic attack. i've had a few since i've been back where i've had to lock myself in the loo til i start breathing properly again.

 

going through my diazepam more than when i was first off, and i don't like that.

 

 

feeling like i've hit a wall right now

 

still, i start CBT tomorrow, so onwards and upwards i hope

 

if panick attacks are a problem for you/anyone, there's an absolutely brilliant book/audio-book series by a doctor called claire weekes - think the audio things are called 'pass through panick'. i was having utterly brutal panick attacks last summer, spent a few months basically thinking i was going to drop dead at any moment - the audio series pretty much got me through it, and i barely have them any more, and even when i do, noone around me would know. i just observe the physical aspect of it and plough on. i still get other anxiety symptoms and am on SSRIs for it, which are helping quite a bit, but i'd be a fecking state by now if it wasn't for claire weekes! i should mention that she's pretty hilarious, in a not-deliberate way, starts every programme with 'greetings from australia' in a very strong accent. she sounds like a bit of a battle axe, but her advice is well founded - she suffered panick attacks all her life, but learned to deal with it.

 

good luck, everyone!

[Quagmire]

also, one positive way of looking at things for people with mental health issues - our artistic credibility ratings are utterly through the roof

[Gorgiewave]

Great stuff, Primavera. I'm glad you're able to talk about it. As I said, I think the social interaction can improve with practice. I've had some real nightmares in classes having to speak to people, but over the course of five years there's been a definite improvement.

 

On the other hand, I really enjoy the advantages: learning a language quicker and better than most people and in general having a good memory. I used to spend the summer holidays going through the Rothman's Football Yearbook memorising attendances, my great and enduring passion in this life.

 

Two women thought I was obsessed with them because I recited conversations verbatim from months earlier, so I try to curb that.

 

I like being how I am and "I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn".

 

Good luck. Turn it back against all the respect and sociability and empathy fascists and tell them that they, themselves, are shite at what they demand of others.

[Budgie.]

 

 

if panick attacks are a problem for you/anyone, there's an absolutely brilliant book/audio-book series by a doctor called claire weekes - think the audio things are called 'pass through panick'. i was having utterly brutal panick attacks last summer, spent a few months basically thinking i was going to drop dead at any moment - the audio series pretty much got me through it, and i barely have them any more, and even when i do, noone around me would know. i just observe the physical aspect of it and plough on. i still get other anxiety symptoms and am on SSRIs for it, which are helping quite a bit, but i'd be a fecking state by now if it wasn't for claire weekes! i should mention that she's pretty hilarious, in a not-deliberate way, starts every programme with 'greetings from australia' in a very strong accent. she sounds like a bit of a battle axe, but her advice is well founded - she suffered panick attacks all her life, but learned to deal with it.

 

good luck, everyone!

 

Can second this book recommended by Quagmire. It's very practical (if a little oldfashioned) and talks about floating through a panic attack. Takes a bit of getting used to but comes in handy.

[Gorgiewave]

What job do you do, Beverley?

[Beverley]

I'm in an office. Pensions

[Juan Rom?n Riquelme]

Been to the Doctor's again today.

 

Back on the old fluoxetine and getting referred to a psychiatrist.

 

Been a rough few years. Pretty frightened by it all. Seen a different GP though and she's helped me so much in about 10 minutes than anyone has in the past 3/4 years so that's good.

 

What can I expect when I go to see the psychiatrist?

Edited April 23, 2013 by Captain Haddock

[Drumelzier]

Been to the Doctor's again today.

 

Back on the old fluoxetine and getting referred to a psychiatrist.

 

Been a rough few years. Pretty frightened by it all. Seen a different GP though and she's helped me so much in about 10 minutes than anyone has in the past 3/4 years so that's good.

 

What can I expect when I go to see the psychiatrist?

 

Just try and let it all out mate, hope it goes well.

[Beverley]

i think i've been really lucky as my doc has been great. the initial councillor through work was shit, but the one i have now, through legal and general (also through work) who i've been doing CBT with has been great.

 

im about to have my sixth session with her on thursday and we've agreed that its to be my last as i'm really in a much better place now than i've been in years. spoke to the doc last week about the fact we're gonna start dropping the fluoxetine dosages over the next few months as well.

 

this thread was a great help to me, and i'm glad its been brought back to the first page again, so hopefully others can benefit from the support.

 

 

the number of messages of support i got from people not (in their words) brave enough to post here was pretty shocking as well, so it pays to keep in mind that while we might be smiling, it doesn't always mean a lot.

 

 

haddock, i can't tell you what to expect from a psychiatrist, but as with any therapy, i think if you go in with an open mind and a will for it to work, it will almost certainly help you.

 

good luck mate, hope it goes well. and if you ever need a chinwag, i'd be happy to listen and chew the fat with you.... or indeed any of you!

[Juan Rom?n Riquelme]

Thank you. Really do appreciate the kind words.

 

Been feeling extremely rough the last couple of weeks.

 

Spoke to a counsellor at Uni today and agreed to take a leave of absence. She was extremely kind and helpful but made it clear that I'll need to work closely with Doctor's and it will be a long and hard recovery due to some of the damage that's occurred mentally over the last 3/4 years. She said I was most likely suffering from exhaustion and needed a rest. No idea how long that will be but I hope no more than a couple of months and I can get back to either studying or working.

 

The doctor told me I've done the typical young man thing with depression. I have considered suicide a few times and I know I could be one numbers making up the statistics in the high number of young men that take their own lives.

 

Young men definitely need to open up and talk to someone a lot sooner and a lot more often. In fact, anyone does. It can be a gut wrenching process, and in my limited experience, can make you feel massive lows at first, but the catharsis will come and you can start making a recovery.

 

I implore any person who's reading this and feels they are suffering from depression - talk to someone, anyone right away.

 

You'll be surprised how nearly everyone has been touched by depression, either indirectly or directly.

 

Please don't suffer in silence as I have for years. It has been a harrowing time and I wish nobody had to go through this but I know that people do and will.

[Ribble]

i think i've been really lucky as my doc has been great. the initial councillor through work was shit, but the one i have now, through legal and general (also through work) who i've been doing CBT with has been great.

 

im about to have my sixth session with her on thursday and we've agreed that its to be my last as i'm really in a much better place now than i've been in years. spoke to the doc last week about the fact we're gonna start dropping the fluoxetine dosages over the next few months as well.

 

this thread was a great help to me, and i'm glad its been brought back to the first page again, so hopefully others can benefit from the support.

 

 

the number of messages of support i got from people not (in their words) brave enough to post here was pretty shocking as well, so it pays to keep in mind that while we might be smiling, it doesn't always mean a lot.

 

 

haddock, i can't tell you what to expect from a psychiatrist, but as with any therapy, i think if you go in with an open mind and a will for it to work, it will almost certainly help you.

 

good luck mate, hope it goes well. and if you ever need a chinwag, i'd be happy to listen and chew the fat with you.... or indeed any of you!

 

Good to hear you are feeling a bit better Bev!

[Shapes]

Glad you are feeling better Bev and Captain, I hope things start to get better for you now that you've spoken to someone. As Bev said, any of us are here for a chat.

 

I'm going through very up and down phases just now and the down phases can be really bad. I'll go into a sort of mode where I'm either really frantic and start doing things really quickly and speaking so no one can understand me, or I'll just sit and stare and not say anything.

 

The thing that's getting to me the most just now is not having many friends to go out with. I had an urge to go out tonight and do something but I have nobody. My mum and dad invited me out for dinner and drinks with them and while I appreciate their offer, it's not what I want

[Juan Rom?n Riquelme]

They done tests to see if you're manic depressive/bipolar?

[Shapes]

Nah no tests have been done since I was diagnosed with depression. Not been at the doctor since December when I was in for two minutes, got prescribed diazapam then sent away. I didn't take the pills and I try to fight it myself and sometimes it works but the latest episodes have been different to before. A lot more down than I was before and a different sort of feeling. A lot more difficult to control.

[Stuart Lyon]

JKB never ceases to maze me. For all you gals and guys with problems I think you are extremely brave for declaring them on this forum. I know most people contribute under a knickname but a few of you will know each others identity so you deserve credit for that too. It would seem that the thread has had positive benefits for most in allowing them to share their situation. Keep it going together with the professional help you are receiving; it can only help. I hope you all overcome these problems and resume as near normal life as anyone can. Good luck.

[Quagmire]

r.e. what captain haddock was saying - i totally concur, speaking to someone is the single most important thing you can possibly do if you're feeling shite. i have occasional depressed periods, but mainly suffer from anxiety stuff, and i really cannot imagine what kind of a state i'd be in if it wasn't for my friends and family.

 

this is another point, but part of me thinks that one aspect of the problem is that men are taught to be 'tough', 'strong', 'successful' and so on, which puts a ridiculous amount of pressure on those who aren't naturally like that - it also puts pressure on women to be more 'tough, strong, successful' etc if they want to be seen as 'equals' or whatever, and we're now seeing rising suicide rates amongst women as well. correlation or cause? (or just bullshit plucked out my arse?)

 

anyhoo, my point is that i think it's of extreme importance that everyone should realise that it's normal and healthy to make yourself 'emotionally vulnerable' when you need to, and doing so certainly isn't a weakness (unless you're milking it) - in fact, it's actually a sort of strength, IMO. knowing when you need help is much better than NOT knowing, and ploughing yourself into a horrible pit of despair just to save face.

Edited April 26, 2013 by Quagmire

[Maiden Gorgie]

I for one am glad this thread is back on the front page. It has helped me tremendously over the last few months. I had a real down period recently where I thought my GP was going to recommend I tone down my dosage but decided to keep it going for a wee bit because of a few incidents I explained to her.

 

A real see-saw period for me at the moment, high as a kite one day, other times just wanting to sit on the couch and speak and listen to no one.

 

I am fortunate that I have the best wife ever in that she can see my mood swings coming a mile off, determined to get out of this for her as much as for me.

 

Everyone who has posted here has already taken a step in the right direction IMO, my best wishes to you all.

[Craigieboy]

JKB never ceases to maze me. For all you gals and guys with problems I think you are extremely brave for declaring them on this forum. I know most people contribute under a knickname but a few of you will know each others identity so you deserve credit for that too. It would seem that the thread has had positive benefits for most in allowing them to share their situation. Keep it going together with the professional help you are receiving; it can only help. I hope you all overcome these problems and resume as near normal life as anyone can. Good luck.

 

Indeed.

 

Glad to hear some are improving.

 

 

[Gorgiewave]

A really heartwarming thread, despite how many people are suffering. JKB is clearly capable of rising above petty one-upmanship.

 

It would be nice if this was possible in general in society and that, similarly, people had no reason to hide that they are gay, or HIV positive, or that their parents are divorced or that they have no money or that they can't read very well. We're all basically in the same boat and there's no merit in having good luck.

[Juan Rom?n Riquelme]

r.e. what captain haddock was saying - i totally concur, speaking to someone is the single most important thing you can possibly do if you're feeling shite. i have occasional depressed periods, but mainly suffer from anxiety stuff, and i really cannot imagine what kind of a state i'd be in if it wasn't for my friends and family.

 

this is another point, but part of me thinks that one aspect of the problem is that men are taught to be 'tough', 'strong', 'successful' and so on, which puts a ridiculous amount of pressure on those who aren't naturally like that - it also puts pressure on women to be more 'tough, strong, successful' etc if they want to be seen as 'equals' or whatever, and we're now seeing rising suicide rates amongst women as well. correlation or cause? (or just bullshit plucked out my arse?)

 

anyhoo, my point is that i think it's of extreme importance that everyone should realise that it's normal and healthy to make yourself 'emotionally vulnerable' when you need to, and doing so certainly isn't a weakness (unless you're milking it) - in fact, it's actually a sort of strength, IMO. knowing when you need help is much better than NOT knowing, and ploughing yourself into a horrible pit of despair just to save face.

 

Think you're spot on mate.

 

Its the biggest killer of men under 35 in the UK and I can see why.

 

I actually think it takes far more bravery to seek help and openly admit your condition to people.

[Beverley]

Stuart Lyon you've summyed it up perfectly. This thread might have literally been a lifesaver and we might never know. It's definitely been helpful to me over the last few months and its great to see others have found it helpful as well.

Support is all around us, whether we know it or not it appears an that makes me truly thankful

[Gizmo]

Nah no tests have been done since I was diagnosed with depression. Not been at the doctor since December when I was in for two minutes, got prescribed diazapam then sent away. I didn't take the pills and I try to fight it myself and sometimes it works but the latest episodes have been different to before. A lot more down than I was before and a different sort of feeling. A lot more difficult to control.

 

Not being picky but the stoicism which us Scots are endowed with is not really helpful for depression, the old grin and bear it which we all probably do too much of.

 

Clinical depression isn't curable by manning up or, the one I'm most guilty of, trying to figure out why I feel so down - you can't any more than you can try to think yourself into healing a severed limb! The stuff that allows you to regulate your emotions, cope with situations both good and bad, and to enjoy yourself has effectively been removed from your head.

 

I know going to the docs, and taking medication (diazepam is really only useful short-term and even then more for anxiety and sleeping) is daunting or even (wrongly) stigmatized by some, but it can level out these frustrating highs and lows, get you off the rollercoaster a bit and keep your mood a bit more level.

 

A good GP will recognize the classic symptoms you are describing. If you really can't face it, there is a lot of advice and even self-administered CBT websites that might help too. Please try not to suffer needlessly or alone Shapes.

[Quagmire]

this is quite a good website (it's CBT based):

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

[Juan Rom?n Riquelme]

Not being picky but the stoicism which us Scots are endowed with is not really helpful for depression, the old grin and bear it which we all probably do too much of.

 

Clinical depression isn't curable by manning up or, the one I'm most guilty of, trying to figure out why I feel so down - you can't any more than you can try to think yourself into healing a severed limb! The stuff that allows you to regulate your emotions, cope with situations both good and bad, and to enjoy yourself has effectively been removed from your head.

 

I know going to the docs, and taking medication (diazepam is really only useful short-term and even then more for anxiety and sleeping) is daunting or even (wrongly) stigmatized by some, but it can level out these frustrating highs and lows, get you off the rollercoaster a bit and keep your mood a bit more level.

 

A good GP will recognize the classic symptoms you are describing. If you really can't face it, there is a lot of advice and even self-administered CBT websites that might help too. Please try not to suffer needlessly or alone Shapes.

 

Exactly.

 

I've been on and off the tablets for a few years now and the reason I stopped taking them each time was because I was too stubborn to accept that I couldn't beat it by myself after years of struggling. Don't want to be overly dramatic but that stubbornness nearly killed me.

 

I'm doing exactly what the Doctor tells me from now on and speaking to as many people as possible that have been really generous and offered me support.

 

Shapes, maybe you should ask for a different GP? The guy I used to see I always got the impression that he didn't really understand what I was saying to him and it was a quick prescription and out the door job.

 

Went to a drop in thing on Tuesday there and got a new Doctor and she gave me more help and reassurance in about 15 minutes than I've had for the past 3 and a half years.

Edited April 27, 2013 by Captain Haddock

[Stuart Lyon]

Hi Guys and Gals just back from Cowdenbeath v Dumbarton game (strange to see Craig Gordon with a Dumbarton tie on) and the match programme had the following ad:-

 

He had a way of hiding behind a laugh but when I asked him at the match to be honest with me he said he'd thought about suicide.

 

Mike realised his mate was hiding how he felt, so he asked him about it. His friend is still alive.

 

If you can read between the lines, you can save lives too.

 

Call Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87 or Samaritans on 08457 90 90

 

These helplines may have been mentioned earlier in this thread but I thought it was worth quoting this ad. Talk to someone you know or phone a helpline especially if you are really down and in despair. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the amount of help and support your family, friends and others can give when you need it most.

 

Go on do it.

Edited April 27, 2013 by Stuart Lyon

[Sergio Garcia]

Hi Guys and Gals just back from Cowdenbeath v Dumbarton game (strange to see Craig Gordon with a Dumbarton tie on) and the match programme had the following ad:-

 

He had a way of hiding behind a laugh but when I asked him at the match to be honest with me he said he'd thought about suicide.

 

Mike realised his mate was hiding how he felt, so he asked him about it. His friend is still alive.

 

If you can read between the lines, you can save lives too.

 

Call Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87 or Samaritans on 08457 90 90

 

These helplines may have been mentioned earlier in this thread but I thought it was worth quoting this ad. Talk to someone you know or phone a helpline especially if you are really down and in despair. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the amount of help and support your family, friends and others can give when you need it most.

 

Go on do it.

 

I misread that first time, never noticed you said advert and assumed it was CG who had said that to you. Thankfully I reread it and now see what you meant.

[Private Womble]

I am struggling right now to get out my bed before 2pm. I have had chances to sort my life out but seem to feck everything i do up! Don't want to go to a doctor as i am shite at expressing myself. I thought about suicide but it would devastate my family obviously. Really have noone to talk to, any advice would help!