depression

[Dagger Is Back]

I've always been certain that I have a mild form of depression or an anxiety problem, although I'm not sure which.

 

I just wish I had the balls to do something about it. I couldn't goto a doctor about it, what am I supposed to say? 'hi there, I think I may have depression'? How many times must they hear that? Then It's nothing but judgement after that...

 

I couldn't tell a family member either. I just wish there was a way to deal with it over the counter with no judgement and people thinking your at it.

 

I can emphasise with where you are right now believe me.

 

I know it's not as easy as this but let's just say you read a similar post to yours and you knew that it was a mate who had posted it?

 

What advice would you give them and why?

 

No need for you to post back here with an answer or anything. Unless of course you want to.

 

Look after yourself.

[Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC]

I'm only worried about when they ask why I think I have depression. I could sit here right now and list all sorts of stuff, but I'd feel like a ###### saying it infront of someone and I wouldn't come off well.

 

How are other people's experience of first meetings with the doctor?

 

Thanks for the reply, Floyd. Appreciated

 

I can see why you are worried but you've got to remember the doctors understand. Fortunately I am not plagued with this but I really feel for people who are.

 

Get yourself checked out mate, what is there to lose? If it is nothing then you'll be in for a couple of minutes out of your day and maybe never see your doc again, if it is something you are on the road to feeling better. One of (in my opinion) the finest men this country has produced in WInston Churchill suffered from it so it certainly isn't a slight on your character.

[PaulHartley10]

 

 

I can emphasise with where you are right now believe me.

 

I know it's not as easy as this but let's just say you read a similar post to yours and you knew that it was a mate who had posted it?

 

What advice would you give them and why?

 

No need for you to post back here with an answer or anything. Unless of course you want to.

 

Look after yourself.

 

I'd probably ask them for a chat and tell them to get help if they felt they needed it.

 

I work in retail and I've learned to put on many masks to cover what I'm really feeling. What if I walk into the doctors looking fine and listing a couple of standard depression symptoms and get told I'm fine?

 

I hate sympathy when I'm genuinely sick, so I'd hate it if someone thought I was at it looking for attention.

Edited December 27, 2012 by PaulHartley10

[Budgie.]

I've always been certain that I have a mild form of depression or an anxiety problem, although I'm not sure which.

 

I just wish I had the balls to do something about it. I couldn't goto a doctor about it, what am I supposed to say? 'hi there, I think I may have depression'? How many times must they hear that? Then It's nothing but judgement after that...

 

I couldn't tell a family member either. I just wish there was a way to deal with it over the counter with no judgement and people thinking your at it.

 

Lots of good advice on this thread mate. Have a read through if you haven't already.

 

Don't be worried about prejudging, there are some who treat D as a stigma but try not to let them bother you.

 

You might even find when you confide in a friend or family member that they reveal a similar secret they have been hiding.

 

Best of luck bud.

[Cairneyhill Jambo]

 

 

I'm only worried about when they ask why I think I have depression. I could sit here right now and list all sorts of stuff, but I'd feel like a ###### saying it infront of someone and I wouldn't come off well.

 

How are other people's experience of first meetings with the doctor?

 

Thanks for the reply, Floyd. Appreciated

 

My wife was in the same boat as you. She didn't want to go to her docs and tell her how she was feeling etc.. My wife ended up writing a letter about how she was feeling etc etc etc, and handed it to her doctor at her appt. Might be worth a try. It certainly helped my wife and the doctor. Feel free to pm me.

Edited December 28, 2012 by Cairneyhill Jambo

[PaulHartley10]

 

 

My wife was in the same boat as you. She didn't want to go to her docs and tell her how she was feeling etc.. My wife ended up writing a letter about how she was feeling etc etc etc, and handed it to her doctor at her appt. Might be worth a try. It certainly helped my wife and the doctor. Feel free to pm me.

 

That's a decent idea mate.

 

Can't help but feel I'd only be listing the basics though. Insomnia, losing friends because I've become unsociable, pushing my gf away, puting on a mask at work and around family etc.

[Budgie.]

 

 

That's a decent idea mate.

 

Can't help but feel I'd only be listing the basics though. Insomnia, losing friends because I've become unsociable, pushing my gf away, puting on a mask at work and around family etc.

 

Don't knock yourself for that though mate.

 

They are the basics because they are the core symptoms. Take comfort in the fact that you aren't alone in feeling this way and these are symptoms felt by many other people.

 

You need to be strong and reach out for help mate.

 

If you had a broken tooth you would go to the dentist and if you broke your arm you would head to AandE.

 

You have something which you need help with and your GP is the person to help.

[PaulHartley10]

 

 

Don't knock yourself for that though mate.

 

They are the basics because they are the core symptoms. Take comfort in the fact that you aren't alone in feeling this way and these are symptoms felt by many other people.

 

You need to be strong and reach out for help mate.

 

If you had a broken tooth you would go to the dentist and if you broke your arm you would head to AandE.

 

You have something which you need help with and your GP is the person to help.

 

It's just a bit nerve wracking...I'd go as far as saying I'd feel shame.

[Budgie.]

 

 

It's just a bit nerve wracking...I'd go as far as saying I'd feel shame.

 

Nothing to be ashamed of. This thread alone shows how common it is and how willing people are to admit that they need or needed help.

 

Try and be strong. The first step is always the hardest.

[Floyd]

 

 

It's just a bit nerve wracking...I'd go as far as saying I'd feel shame.

 

No need to feel shame fella, as Alan Partridge has said above, one of our country's finest leaders Winston Churchill also suffered from this, so it's important to realise you are not alone in this and that lots of people just like you gave posted on this thread who feel the same.

 

Your not a freak for feeling this way, you need to believe this, lots of people are in the same boat.

 

If you had posted on here saying you had 4 bollocks then that would be a different story, but you haven't, so you need to go see the doctor and just try and put it out there.

 

Easier said than done, but it's for the best.

[Sharpie]

I've always been certain that I have a mild form of depression or an anxiety problem, although I'm not sure which.

 

I just wish I had the balls to do something about it. I couldn't goto a doctor about it, what am I supposed to say? 'hi there, I think I may have depression'? How many times must they hear that? Then It's nothing but judgement after that...

 

I couldn't tell a family member either. I just wish there was a way to deal with it over the counter with no judgement and people thinking your at it.

 

 

 

Some times the thing we fear most is alleviated by talking to the professionals. I have posted a long time ago it seems on this thread, but I was sure I was suffering from from depression. After an extended period actually about three minutes the doctor assured me I was not. In my case I was suffering from a mild PTSD, not unusual from recovering cancer patients. That is not relevant to you, but what is, is that the seeking advice is not a sign of weakness, and the result is not always that things are as bad as you think. Sometimes you just need someone who knows to tell you that things are O.K.

[Guest GhostHunter]

 

 

I see Mehdi T is away on a hike in the background.

[gordiegords]

 

 

It's just a bit nerve wracking...I'd go as far as saying I'd feel shame.

 

 

Shame, fear, guilt, feeling a burden, anxiety, low self esteem, lack if self worth. All contributing factors in the minefield that we grow up than makes us believe we are not deserving of happiness.

 

As for going to your doc, try your very best to see them, they are not judgmental, the first step is always the hardest, there are people and resources out there to help you and to help you help yourself.

 

:-)

[Gizmo]

It's just a bit nerve wracking...I'd go as far as saying I'd feel shame.

 

It will be nerve wracking, that's exactly how anxiety works.

 

But it's a common problem, and one that can be helped. Us blokes are bad at times at not seeking help, plodding on stoically and suffering quietly, as if the fact we have a problem is a weakness. It isn't.

 

And it's NOT your fault anymore than it would be your fault if you caught a cold. It's just a thing that can happen, and it's a thing that can be helped/fixed with the right tools.

[Adi Dassler]

I don't suffer from depression but occasionally get anxiety attacks. These have only really started over the last couple of years and seem to come on when alcohol is involved. I spoke about this with my doctor after I had a funny turn at a friends 30th where I genuinely felt for about 5 minutes I was having some sort of stroke. Basically because I can go weeks and months without any alcohol, my body recognises that it about to take a battering and goes into a kind of shock. Hence the panic attacks.

 

I only mention this because I note a few people on here are posting over on the hangover thread. If you suffer from any kind of depression or anxiety attacks then I would suggest drinking be the first thing you knock on the head. Most people don't realise how even drinking a small amount per week can affect your mental state.

 

Healthy body, healthy mind and all that.

[PaulHartley10]

Cheers for the reply folks. I'll think it over in the next couple of days.

 

I just worry about how to approach it. I'd prepare myself and go in looking fine, then no doubt be told to try and sort my sleeping pattern out and report back.

[gordiegords]

Cheers for the reply folks. I'll think it over in the next couple of days.

 

I just worry about how to approach it. I'd prepare myself and go in looking fine, then no doubt be told to try and sort my sleeping pattern out and report back.

 

Quite a bit of mind reading your doing there man....

[Beverley]

Cheers for the reply folks. I'll think it over in the next couple of days.

 

I just worry about how to approach it. I'd prepare myself and go in looking fine, then no doubt be told to try and sort my sleeping pattern out and report back.

 

i get how you feel as i was exactly the same.

my 20 minute appointment turned into 45 minutes as i rambled on and on having broken the seal as it were.

 

i didn't want to go and say oooh i'm depressed as i think often its too easy to just get pills with no back up or investigation as to whats caused the way you feel. my doc was great though. never seen her before, but she listened, understood exactly what was going on in my head and asked if i wanted anything.

 

your sleeping pattern won't be helping for sure, thats one of my main problems, cos if you aren't sleeping, your brain isn't recuperating.

 

 

speak with your doctor and ask about your options as pill aren't always the way to go.

 

i felt hellish, worse than ever for the first few weeks, and aside from a torrid rollercoaster over the last week, i think i'm starting to get on an even keel where i'll be able to deal with the issues causing this.

 

good luck and it IS terrifying, or was for me anyway, going to that first appointment.

[CavySlaveJambo]

Funny thing is sleeping pattern distortion CAN be a symptom of depression. So without treating any depression it is not likely to improve much.

[PaulHartley10]

i get how you feel as i was exactly the same.

my 20 minute appointment turned into 45 minutes as i rambled on and on having broken the seal as it were.

 

i didn't want to go and say oooh i'm depressed as i think often its too easy to just get pills with no back up or investigation as to whats caused the way you feel. my doc was great though. never seen her before, but she listened, understood exactly what was going on in my head and asked if i wanted anything.

 

your sleeping pattern won't be helping for sure, thats one of my main problems, cos if you aren't sleeping, your brain isn't recuperating.

 

 

speak with your doctor and ask about your options as pill aren't always the way to go.

 

i felt hellish, worse than ever for the first few weeks, and aside from a torrid rollercoaster over the last week, i think i'm starting to get on an even keel where i'll be able to deal with the issues causing this.

 

good luck and it IS terrifying, or was for me anyway, going to that first appointment.

 

I think my sleeping pattern and locking myself away in my room are definitely factors for the way I feel.

 

I think I may take a ideas from this thread when going. I feel like there's something wrong with me but I may just say other people have asked that I see about it and write some stuff down.

 

Would still like to know how other peoples first appointments went and what kind of stuff was asked.

[Lobey Dosser]

I think my sleeping pattern and locking myself away in my room are definitely factors for the way I feel.

 

I think I may take a ideas from this thread when going. I feel like there's something wrong with me but I may just say other people have asked that I see about it and write some stuff down.

 

Would still like to know how other peoples first appointments went and what kind of stuff was asked.

 

The first time I went to my GP, I had it built up in my head that it was going to be awful, and that the doc was going to challenge everything I claimed to be feeling. I also felt like he was going to be annoyed that I was there wasting his time. If you're feeling that way, then try and remember that depression suspends your perception. Your GP will be sympathetic, and will listen to you, and will take you seriously.

 

If you feel more comfortable writing it down, and handing a letter to your doctor, then do that - but I found, like Beverley, that when I went, the floodgates kind of opened, and I was there for ages, because it was such a relief to finally talk about it. My GP asked about all kinds of things - but not in an invasive, testing kind of way. He just wanted to see the extent of it. He asked me about my appetite, my work, my sleeping pattern, and just general questions about my life and situation. He did ask if I had ever thought about hurting myself, which shocked me at the time, but when you think about it, it does have to be asked.

 

Another thing is, don't feel like you have to broadcast it to the world, if you don't want to. There's no shame in suffering from depression, but when you are in the grips of it, and your sense of perspective is screwed up, then you may feel it is something you want to keep to yourself. There's nothing really wrong with wanting to keep it private, but I found one of the main things that helped was being able to talk about it. If you have anyone at all you feel you could share it with, and who you can trust, then do it. Just getting it out can be a massive relief. I wish this thread had been around when I was having a tough time with it, because there is a great deal of comfort to be found in the empathy of others.

[Beverley]

lobey, thats a great post.

 

i did wonder initially if this thread would come off as attention seeking (which its not) or if it would help people. it would seem that not only has it helped people discuss it, but its also made them a little more aware that they CAN stay private with those of us who have had messages from people also suffering, but we can also discuss it here as well should we wish.

 

there are a LOT of people who are reading this and don't want to be talking online, in here or broadcasting their feelings and experiences and thats just fine....

 

just know that there is no right or wrong way to deal with this, and please don't let it get too far without talking to someone, ideally your doctor, but just even admitting there is something you need help with

 

 

 

if you have a broken arm, you will get the right people to help you and this is no different.

 

 

i've found this thread to be one of the most cathartic i've ever come across. perhaps because some of us know each other, but we still have the aspect of being a little hidden online. its taught me not to feel alone

[Lobey Dosser]

lobey, thats a great post.

 

i did wonder initially if this thread would come off as attention seeking (which its not) or if it would help people. it would seem that not only has it helped people discuss it, but its also made them a little more aware that they CAN stay private with those of us who have had messages from people also suffering, but we can also discuss it here as well should we wish.

 

there are a LOT of people who are reading this and don't want to be talking online, in here or broadcasting their feelings and experiences and thats just fine....

 

just know that there is no right or wrong way to deal with this, and please don't let it get too far without talking to someone, ideally your doctor, but just even admitting there is something you need help with

 

 

 

if you have a broken arm, you will get the right people to help you and this is no different.

 

 

i've found this thread to be one of the most cathartic i've ever come across. perhaps because some of us know each other, but we still have the aspect of being a little hidden online. its taught me not to feel alone

 

Totally agree with all you've said. It's good to see so many people discussing how they're feeling, and the support and concern shown is quite something. I think the anonymity of being online helps folk to open up on here, but I also think it's something to do with the fact that we're all connected by something other than depression.

 

This thread has also been really cathartic for me. It's nice to not feel alone, and to see that others have been through it. Hearing other people's experiences is really helpful, and goes to prove another of your points that there's no right or wrong way to go about dealing with depression.

 

I hope you feel better, and that you continue to feel better. And the same to anyone who is having a tough time of it.

[Beverley]

so, back at the docs again today and told her i feel about ready to go back to work. she's signed me off for another 2 weeks to organise going back, and it'll be a phased return.

 

spoken to work and they're gonna sort out a meeting with occupational health for me prior to going back.

 

i also had word from legal and general that i'm to be assessed for cbt sessions next week which is really good news as i think that might be the thing that will help me most.

 

still not heard from the councelling people yet, but there is a wait for them and they don't contact you til there is a slot.

 

its all moving in the right direction now, so feeling a bit more positive about things.

 

to go back to the doc in 3-4 weeks unless i regress and need more time off

[Budgie.]

so, back at the docs again today and told her i feel about ready to go back to work. she's signed me off for another 2 weeks to organise going back, and it'll be a phased return.

 

spoken to work and they're gonna sort out a meeting with occupational health for me prior to going back.

 

i also had word from legal and general that i'm to be assessed for cbt sessions next week which is really good news as i think that might be the thing that will help me most.

 

still not heard from the councelling people yet, but there is a wait for them and they don't contact you til there is a slot.

 

its all moving in the right direction now, so feeling a bit more positive about things.

 

to go back to the doc in 3-4 weeks unless i regress and need more time off

 

Well done Bev. Keep it up

[Gizmo]

CBT is definitely a good process to engage into, even when you understand it, you actively partake so it's not like someone dolling out hollow words that you can't believe in.

 

Good luck Bev, glad things are looking a bit brighter.

[graygo]

Great news Bev.

[chester copperpot]

This thread has really cheered me up. I've been to hell and back these past 12 months with me losing my job, marriage, house etc, but reading over this has helped knowing that others suffer from this too.

 

I'd say I have more of a reactive depression, as this has got worse the past year, but I guess I've lived with it for my adult life.

 

Anyone who wants to feel better about themselves, I'd say avoid alcohol, as it really doesn't help anything in the long run!

[peter_hmfc]

Well done you Beverly.

 

Getting back into a working routine will surely be a massive confidence boost, not to mention it'll keep you busy and help you keep your mind away from other problems.

 

The addition of CBT sounds excellent as well. I'll admit all I really know about it is from here, but I've heard nothing but good about it, so that's a further bonus to help you and to be optimistic about.

 

Well done you.

 

How about everyone else?

Edited January 11, 2013 by peter_hmfc

[peter_hmfc]

I am seriously so ****ing sick of having **** all friends and sitting home on my own EVERY Friday and Saturday night. What a ****ing pathetic existence, I've done absolutely **** all (not by choice) like something you'd see having the piss ripped out of it in some sitcom, while EVERYONE else is out with their friendly, funny, supportive friends. I have absolutely **** all. There's people who have friends after just a day of meeting them, I have nothing in years of trying, whats the point?

 

Several reasons. I am sick of being nice to people wherever I go, getting **** all in return. I literally try and talk to EVERYONE I share a class or workspace with. Since I have no-one to "hang" with then this means I can flit about talking to new people each day/lunch break etc. Does it matter, does it ****. Regardless of how hard I try nothing comes of it and yet again I'm left outcast, feeling rejected and ostricised like some kind of murderer. I honestly see no reason to keep being nice to people who blatantly don't want anything to do with me yet I have no choice. Even if I was to get asked out , I have so much studying I probably couldn't afford the time.

 

Since I've nothing to do and nowhere to go, I'm missing out on life in it's entirity. When I'm 80 (when the main thing you have is your memories) I'll look back and won't even have enough good to keep me entertained during an advert break. Everyone else will look back on friendships, romances and holidays together etc, I'll have nothing, at all, the accumulation of 8 decades of life.

 

****ing hell. Also yes I know to a lot of people this may seem like a tedious problem, but for me this does rot me from the inside. Regardless, I feel better after ranting, so thank you.

[Gizmo]

I am seriously so ****ing sick of having **** all friends and sitting home on my own EVERY Friday and Saturday night. What a ****ing pathetic existence, I've done absolutely **** all (not by choice) like something you'd see having the piss ripped out of it in some sitcom, while EVERYONE else is out with their friendly, funny, supportive friends. I have absolutely **** all. There's people who have friends after just a day of meeting them, I have nothing in years of trying, whats the point?

 

Several reasons. I am sick of being nice to people wherever I go, getting **** all in return. I literally try and talk to EVERYONE I share a class or workspace with. Since I have no-one to "hang" with then this means I can flit about talking to new people each day/lunch break etc. Does it matter, does it ****. Regardless of how hard I try nothing comes of it and yet again I'm left outcast, feeling rejected and ostricised like some kind of murderer. I honestly see no reason to keep being nice to people who blatantly don't want anything to do with me yet I have no choice. Even if I was to get asked out , I have so much studying I probably couldn't afford the time.

 

Since I've nothing to do and nowhere to go, I'm missing out on life in it's entirity. When I'm 80 (when the main thing you have is your memories) I'll look back and won't even have enough good to keep me entertained during an advert break. Everyone else will look back on friendships, romances and holidays together etc, I'll have nothing, at all, the accumulation of 8 decades of life.

 

****ing hell. Also yes I know to a lot of people this may seem like a tedious problem, but for me this does rot me from the inside. Regardless, I feel better after ranting, so thank you.

 

Can I ask you what age you are? It's easy to think your life will be just "this" especially when "this" isn't what you want, but in reality that's probably not the case.

 

You say you are studying, so presumably this will lead to exams > job, which usually leads to socialising and making new mates, maybe meeting a partner etc.

 

I'm not the best at advice on how to make friends, but being in places with people and learning about shared interests helps. Even might be someone you can help with studying and get to know them that way?

 

Incidentally, you shouldn't really feel bad about being nice to people - and maybe that also betrays that you are trying "too hard". Unless you are Stalin or David Cameron, I'm sure being yourself would make people relate to you more?

[Gorgiewave]

Peter,

 

I don't think it's tedious. I am not one to particularly miss friends on a Friday or Saturday night, but I have spent a long time alone and missed having anybody to talk to or share anything with. I remember my aunt said, after my uncle died, that her thoughts were like lead and just weighed down on her and she had to share them.

 

I got out of this situation after many years because I joined a scrabble club and one of the members set me up with a woman who had previously been in the club and is a friend of his wife's. It's far from perfect, but it has cut my episodes of depression by at least 90%. I have nothing specific to offer, but I do think just keeping your hand in improves your chances. An organised activity (club, Hearts supporters' club, whatever interests you) has the advantage, apart from being an interest you will automatically share with other people, that people more or less have to talk to you and you to them. At an individual level or in an informal situation, it's easier to ignore a person.

 

My relationship arose unexpectedly and fairly quickly, but I think just trying to be active and even just leaving the house (this was my rule during my worst period of depression) can help.

 

I would recommend trying to focus on what you have to do (study - do youn have a job as well?) and make sure you rest properly and take exercise. Almost everybody has friends if they want them, even me and I'm a ******* w@nker.

[Shapes]

Peter, I can completely relate to what you're going through. Unless I'm going out with my boyfriend to the pub at the weekend or staying at his then I find that I'm sitting alone on Friday and Saturday nights too, looking on facebook at status updates and pictures that the girls I used to be close to put up. It's difficult but try not to let it get you too down. I've had a boost recently because one of my best friends has split up with her boyfriend and moved home so I see a lot more of her and tonight just went down to hers to play board games and drink tea. I know it sounds sad but at least it's something. I've found exercising has done me good socially too. I've started going to fitness classes at my local gym and there are a couple other girls roughly my age (wee bit older actually) that go and they've started talking to me, and dare I say it, the older women are good banter too! You shouldn't get into the way of thinking that it's always going to be like that. I know it can feel like you make all the effort and get nothing in return but maybe take the initiative with people at college? Or join a group outside of college? I know it might not be as simple as that because for all the faults that I have, making friends is something I've always tended to manage quite well. Hell, I met my best friend by going up to him in the pub and saying "you follow me on twitter eh?" and he has been an absolute rock for me over the past year. I could definitely count my close friends on the one hand but for me, that's all I need. I managed to weed out the folk that I didn't need in my life and I'm glad they're not a part of it anymore. Who needs friends who make you feel bad for liking different music to them or not piling on the fake tan and make up? Never give up

 

Feel free to PM if you wish for a chat and I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that

Edited February 2, 2013 by Pull Shapes

[Sharpie]

We have had snow, below zero temperatures since well before Christmas. Just yesterday (Thursday) I said to the wife this is getting me down I am actually feeling depressed, she has been feeling the same. Today lovely blue skies, plus 5 degrees, just gorgeous. Took a two mile walk, and I actually thought about this thread. All I have to offer is that yesterday I was down, today a little bit of sunshine and I feel totally different, I realise depression has a lot of sources, but all I can say is when its hitting you just maintain the hope that tomorrow the sun may shine, all may not be perfect, but at least you can hope for that day of sunshine.

[Gizmo]

We have had snow, below zero temperatures since well before Christmas. Just yesterday (Thursday) I said to the wife this is getting me down I am actually feeling depressed, she has been feeling the same. Today lovely blue skies, plus 5 degrees, just gorgeous. Took a two mile walk, and I actually thought about this thread. All I have to offer is that yesterday I was down, today a little bit of sunshine and I feel totally different, I realise depression has a lot of sources, but all I can say is when its hitting you just maintain the hope that tomorrow the sun may shine, all may not be perfect, but at least you can hope for that day of sunshine.

 

It's a good point, sometimes fresh air and some activity can make all the difference.

 

For my own, what seems an eternal struggle, with the blues, sometimes I find certain music can transport me out of the black pit.

[Budgie.]

Peter, you're falling into the trap of using 'All or Nothing' thinking.

 

When we feel low we can have thoughts that things are always going to be this way and we're always going to feel awful.

 

It doesn't have to be that way, you need to break the cycle of that type of thinking.

 

Life can change in an instant and you never know what is around the corner.

 

You've already decided the next 60 years of your life will be crap. STOP doing this! Destructive thoughts like this can become a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

Chin up mate. You will feel better and things will change. NEVER give up on yourself.

 

Take care.

[Ray Gin]

I am seriously so ****ing sick of having **** all friends and sitting home on my own EVERY Friday and Saturday night. What a ****ing pathetic existence, I've done absolutely **** all (not by choice) like something you'd see having the piss ripped out of it in some sitcom, while EVERYONE else is out with their friendly, funny, supportive friends. I have absolutely **** all. There's people who have friends after just a day of meeting them, I have nothing in years of trying, whats the point?

 

Several reasons. I am sick of being nice to people wherever I go, getting **** all in return. I literally try and talk to EVERYONE I share a class or workspace with. Since I have no-one to "hang" with then this means I can flit about talking to new people each day/lunch break etc. Does it matter, does it ****. Regardless of how hard I try nothing comes of it and yet again I'm left outcast, feeling rejected and ostricised like some kind of murderer. I honestly see no reason to keep being nice to people who blatantly don't want anything to do with me yet I have no choice. Even if I was to get asked out , I have so much studying I probably couldn't afford the time.

 

Since I've nothing to do and nowhere to go, I'm missing out on life in it's entirity. When I'm 80 (when the main thing you have is your memories) I'll look back and won't even have enough good to keep me entertained during an advert break. Everyone else will look back on friendships, romances and holidays together etc, I'll have nothing, at all, the accumulation of 8 decades of life.

 

****ing hell. Also yes I know to a lot of people this may seem like a tedious problem, but for me this does rot me from the inside. Regardless, I feel better after ranting, so thank you.

 

If you are at Uni you should head along to your students association and join some sports clubs or student societies. You are bound to meet new friends by doing this. There are loads of people in the same boat as you at Uni who have moved to a new city to study and know nobody. You don't have to be good at any of the activities, they are usually welcoming of complete beginners who just fancy trying something new out.

 

Also don't go out of your way to be overly nice all the time. Just be yourself. People don't trust overly nice!

Edited February 2, 2013 by Ray Gin

[Beverley]

 

 

For my own, what seems an eternal struggle, with the blues, sometimes I find certain music can transport me out of the black pit.

 

apart from the panic attack that led to me finally seeing a doctor, the thing that irked me the most was that music wasn't doing it for me at all. i used to be able to change my mood a little by the music i would listen to, as certain songs, or classical pieces would lift me, let me get the emotion out, or simply just put me in a better place generally, but that stopped. its getting back a wee bit, but missing music and not being able to read like i usually would were the 2 things that hit me hardest as they had always been an escape for me

[blondejamtart]

Surely being on your own doesn't have to make you depressed? I just don't get that at all...

Don't get me wrong, I love my family to bits and love spending time with them, but I'm more than content with just myself for company. Never really got this having to rely on others for your own happiness thing.

[Gorgiewave]

Surely being on your own doesn't have to make you depressed? I just don't get that at all...

Don't get me wrong, I love my family to bits and love spending time with them, but I'm more than content with just myself for company. Never really got this having to rely on others for your own happiness thing.

Surely being on your own doesn't have to make you depressed? I just don't get that at all...

Don't get me wrong, I love my family to bits and love spending time with them, but I'm more than content with just myself for company. Never really got this having to rely on others for your own happiness thing.

Some people do need that, though. It's not a question of convincing people to be happy on their own.

[Gizmo]

apart from the panic attack that led to me finally seeing a doctor, the thing that irked me the most was that music wasn't doing it for me at all. i used to be able to change my mood a little by the music i would listen to, as certain songs, or classical pieces would lift me, let me get the emotion out, or simply just put me in a better place generally, but that stopped. its getting back a wee bit, but missing music and not being able to read like i usually would were the 2 things that hit me hardest as they had always been an escape for me

 

I still can't read B, can't settle to watch movies unless in the cinema. and rarely have the confidence to go meet up with friends (surprised they still are my friends). But sometimes music - like a good football match or, ahem, sex, cuts through the haze. Not being able to afford to go to the matches often sucks as it's one of the places that transports me away from everything else. And I've lost the fitness - and confidence - to go out cycling on my own, the activity, above all others, that was almost transcendent in removing worries and all the baggage that weighs me down. The missus spends so much time taking care of her elderly parents that we can't get out together.

 

Surely being on your own doesn't have to make you depressed? I just don't get that at all...

Don't get me wrong, I love my family to bits and love spending time with them, but I'm more than content with just myself for company. Never really got this having to rely on others for your own happiness thing.

 

I'm not being cheeky, but when we have family/kids it's quite refreshing to have peace and quiet. I never understood it when I was younger- infact see in the 70s when the parents would lie in on a Sunday and all the shops were shut, drove me mad! That said, I'm prone to brutally destructive thoughts when on my own for long and not good in my own company. Some people can go on holiday on their own and have a great time, I couldn't.

[Generic Username]

Here's something I don't get;

 

If you think you have depression or have been diagnosed with depression or are on medication to treat depression - should you be going out and getting tanked up with the bevy given that alcohol is a depressant? Are you not making your already difficult situation infinitely worse?

[Gizmo]

Here's something I don't get;

 

If you think you have depression or have been diagnosed with depression or are on medication to treat depression - should you be going out and getting tanked up with the bevy given that alcohol is a depressant? Are you not making your already difficult situation infinitely worse?

 

It won't help, certainly long term. I stopped drinking ages ago because it left me so paranoid and depleted the next day.

 

Occasionally though it does act as a bit of a safety valve, reducing stress. A couple of pints a week is healthier than none by all accounts.

[Generic Username]

It won't help, certainly long term. I stopped drinking ages ago because it left me so paranoid and depleted the next day.

 

Occasionally though it does act as a bit of a safety valve, reducing stress. A couple of pints a week is healthier than none by all accounts.

 

I'm not entirely sure I buy into any of that. If you've got depression then the last thing you should be doing is gobbling down something that makes you more depressed.

 

It'd be like getting diagnosed with cancer then replacing your bed with a sun bed and all the lights in your house with x-ray machines and smoking 80 Silk Cuts a day then wondering how on earth you've got cancer in the first place.

[Shapes]

[modedit]

 

RE Audioslave: Yes, after being diagnosed with depression it's always best to cut down on alcohol intake if not cutting it out altogether. I found that alcohol was making me worse and I'd spend most of the next day in bed feeling sorry for myself which isn't good. I cut down a lot and was probably only drinking once a month at most. Because I've been feeling a lot better recently I've felt more up to having a couple of nights out so I've drank a couple of times this month. And it's not had the effects that it used to have on me so I'm thinking that's a good sign! But the second it starts making me feel the way it used to then it'll be cut right out again most likely. I suppose it all just depends on the state of mind you're in at the time really because for me, I have phases and episodes so just now I'm fine but I can't say what I'll be like in a months time.

Edited February 4, 2013 by JKBMod 1

[Gizmo]

I'm not entirely sure I buy into any of that. If you've got depression then the last thing you should be doing is gobbling down something that makes you more depressed.

 

It'd be like getting diagnosed with cancer then replacing your bed with a sun bed and all the lights in your house with x-ray machines and smoking 80 Silk Cuts a day then wondering how on earth you've got cancer in the first place.

 

It's not the same though is it? Alcohol acts as a system wide depressant - which is why, short-term, it reduces people's inhibitions. It's not the same as clinical depression which is chemical based.

 

Yes long-term there will probably be interaction, as long-term alcohol is bad, period. But occasionally I don't believe it will exacerbate someone's depression per se.

 

[modedit]

Edited February 4, 2013 by JKBMod 1

[Sharpie]

I had an employee who had what was seen as an alcohol problem. Over indulgence, leading to aggressive behaviour, fights etc. Subsequently caused him to be terminated.

 

He contacted me some time later to advise that his termination turned out to be a positive in his life. He was forced to go for treatment and it was established he was in fact clinically depressive. When suffering an attack of depression he would drink heavily to relieve the effect, the drink in fact having the opposite effect. In his case and I would suspect most drink is not the answer to depression.

[Maiden Gorgie]

On the drink issue. I am taking meds for depression and seem to be doing OK with them. I do like the occasional beer after work (not every night mind!). If it is something you enjoy, helps you relax there is no real issue. IMO as long as the drinking is not just in moderation, but crucially doesn't make you feel any worse, it's OK.

Of course, everyone is different and react to meds & alcohol in different ways. This is just my personal experience.

 

[modedit]

Edited February 4, 2013 by JKBMod 1

[Generic Username]

It's not the same though is it? Alcohol acts as a system wide depressant - which is why, short-term, it reduces people's inhibitions. It's not the same as clinical depression which is chemical based.

 

Yes long-term there will probably be interaction, as long-term alcohol is bad, period. But occasionally I don't believe it will exacerbate someone's depression per se.

 

[/size][/background][/size][/font][/color]

 

 

So inappropriate to post this publicly, now of all times. Insensitive to the point one could easily believe that it was a calculated move. Incidentally, do you have the full story or just one side of workplace disharmony?

 

Exactly.

 

Appalling behaviour.

 

The original question I asked wasn't "is it cool to have a couple of beers now and again when you've got depression?" it was, should folk be getting tanked when they've got depression. For clarity, getting "tanked" - consuming mass quantities of alcohol on a frequent basis.

[JKBMod 1]

Several off topic, abusive and unhelpful posts have been removed.

 

If anyone is thinking about posting something unhelpful or off topic on this thread, think again and avoid a warning, suspension or ban.

 

 

JKBMod 1