AlimOzturk Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 A big contention and possible deal breaker one day for my wife and I is more children. She wants another one and I don't. When we got together I told her I wasn't massively keen on children and when she did fall pregnant I was shocked. I wouldn't change him for the world now. I will be honest that I ****ing hated the whole infant and early stages. I was a nervous wreck, tired and grumpy. We would eventually have to move because we only have a two bedroom flat and for me that I the big deal breaker. I ****ing love my flat in the middle of the town centre. We are both 27. Still plenty time however I cannot see me changing guy mind on this. She is so broody atm because her sister is currently pregbantdoesn't help. I love my kid and life is perfectly fine the way it is. He is at a great age now, starts school after the summer. Plenty dosh, living in the best part of Edinburgh. Why she wants to throw all that up in the air by having more kids is baffling but that's women I suppose. What would you guys do? Can't exactly compromise on this can I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) I should maybe have started a new thread on this grumpy sorry. I wasn't thinking when I posted this on your thread pal. Hope you don't mind mate Edited March 2, 2017 by AlimOzturk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 I should maybe have started a new thread on this grumpy sorry. I wasn't thinking when I posted this on your thread pal. Hope you don't mind mate No probs mate. It's good to get off the topic of my shitty situation. I was similar to you. I wasn't really ready for kids and our 1St one wasn't planned. I'm an only child so after having 1 I had to give her a brother or sister cos I know how shit it was not to have one. I now have 3 kids. Lol. If you love her, I think you've got to say goodbye to the flat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 1874 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 A big contention and possible deal breaker one day for my wife and I is more children. She wants another one and I don't. When we got together I told her I wasn't massively keen on children and when she did fall pregnant I was shocked. I wouldn't change him for the world now. I will be honest that I ******* hated the whole infant and early stages. I was a nervous wreck, tired and grumpy. We would eventually have to move because we only have a two bedroom flat and for me that I the big deal breaker. I ******* love my flat in the middle of the town centre. We are both 27. Still plenty time however I cannot see me changing guy mind on this. She is so broody atm because her sister is currently pregbantdoesn't help. I love my kid and life is perfectly fine the way it is. He is at a great age now, starts school after the summer. Plenty dosh, living in the best part of Edinburgh. Why she wants to throw all that up in the air by having more kids is baffling but that's women I suppose. What would you guys do? Can't exactly compromise on this can I? Yet another humble bragging post from Alim. Bore off mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) Yet another humble bragging post from Alim. Bore off mate. Where about was i bragging? Maybe you seen that because your life is shite. I am a very humble person. Edited March 4, 2017 by AlimOzturk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 1874 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Humble? You are in your bollocks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Humble? You are in your bollocks! If my posting bothers you use the ignore function. Imagine being seething at someones posting style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 1874 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Not seething buddy, au contraire! Your Walter Mitty type bragging brightens my day! Good luck to ya if it makes you happy! Please keep it coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Not seething buddy, au contraire! Your Walter Mitty type bragging brightens my day! Good luck to ya if it makes you happy! Please keep it coming. You have clearly paid alot attention to my posting. What part of my life do you think I am lying about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Yet another humble bragging post from Alim. Bore off mate. Alim piss on your chips? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Boy Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) There was a guy who used to post on here; 'Scot' or something. He was always getting dumped. He just used to get utterly shite-arsed and bore everyone on Kickback with his tales of woe. Good times. Edited March 4, 2017 by The Earl of Mothsbery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 1874 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 You have clearly paid alot attention to my posting. What part of my life do you think I am lying about? Not really but I've noticed that any post seems to end up being about you. As I said though, I do enjoy reading them. Alim piss on your chips? Certainly not! I would never accuse him of that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GforGallo Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 A big contention and possible deal breaker one day for my wife and I is more children. She wants another one and I don't. When we got together I told her I wasn't massively keen on children and when she did fall pregnant I was shocked. I wouldn't change him for the world now. I will be honest that I ******* hated the whole infant and early stages. I was a nervous wreck, tired and grumpy. We would eventually have to move because we only have a two bedroom flat and for me that I the big deal breaker. I ******* love my flat in the middle of the town centre. We are both 27. Still plenty time however I cannot see me changing guy mind on this. She is so broody atm because her sister is currently pregbantdoesn't help. I love my kid and life is perfectly fine the way it is. He is at a great age now, starts school after the summer. Plenty dosh, living in the best part of Edinburgh. Why she wants to throw all that up in the air by having more kids is baffling but that's women I suppose. What would you guys do? Can't exactly compromise on this can I? Tough one. Had a similar scenario, I only wanted 2 she wanted 3. Number 4 is due in July.... You really need to have a proper conversation on it as if she does want a second child it's unfair to deny her that by being selfish about what you want only. On the other hand, why should you have to compromise? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo1961 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Bottom line is nobody really gives a fe rk about other posters piddle And you will always get braggers on forums Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) Tough one. Had a similar scenario, I only wanted 2 she wanted 3. Number 4 is due in July.... You really need to have a proper conversation on it as if she does want a second child it's unfair to deny her that by being selfish about what you want only. On the other hand, why should you have to compromise? Cheers. I wouldn't ever want her to grow to resent me. So we do need to sit and talk about it your right. Edited March 4, 2017 by AlimOzturk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Alim piss on your chips? Suppose you can't be liked by everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 1874 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Suppose you can't be liked by everyone. Bragging again! Unbelievable... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) Bragging again! Unbelievable... I can't help it Edited March 4, 2017 by AlimOzturk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Puts kettle on....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoltan socrates Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 (edited) 'Plenty of dosh, living in the best part of edinburgh' How many two bedroom flats are there in barnton? On topic, another weekend, trust greedy is feeling a bit more positive this weekend than last Edited March 4, 2017 by zoltan socrates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 4, 2017 Author Share Posted March 4, 2017 'Plenty of dosh, living in the best part of edinburgh' How many two bedroom flats are there in barnton? On topic, another weekend, trust greedy is feeling a bit more positive this weekend than last I was ok until today. I've got to stay at my house tonight with the kids as the ex is working early in the morning. The thought of seeing her has got me feeling ill. I've had to lye down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Governor Tarkin Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 There was a guy who used to post on here; 'Scot' or something. He was always getting dumped. He just used to get utterly shite-arsed and bore everyone on Kickback with his tales of woe. Good times. Aye, where is he these days? Can't beat a tale of woe to brighten up your day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Governor Tarkin Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I was ok until today. I've got to stay at my house tonight with the kids as the ex is working early in the morning. The thought of seeing her has got me feeling ill. I've had to lye down. Mate, it's going to be tough with kids involved, but you need to put as much distance between you and her as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I was ok until today. I've got to stay at my house tonight with the kids as the ex is working early in the morning. The thought of seeing her has got me feeling ill. I've had to lye down. Hope your OK mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Boy Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Aye, where is he these days? Can't beat a tale of woe to brighten up your day. My best guess would be the Sally Anne or a park bench somewhere. Either that or some kind of cardboard box in the doorway of a West Lothian pub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo1961 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I can't help it I wish there was a like thing on here because I'm only messing Bud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlimOzturk Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 I wish there was a like thing on here because I'm only messing Bud Nae bother man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 1874 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Nae bother man. I was half joking but full in earnest too. No hard feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 A big contention and possible deal breaker one day for my wife and I is more children. She wants another one and I don't. When we got together I told her I wasn't massively keen on children and when she did fall pregnant I was shocked. I wouldn't change him for the world now. I will be honest that I ******* hated the whole infant and early stages. I was a nervous wreck, tired and grumpy. We would eventually have to move because we only have a two bedroom flat and for me that I the big deal breaker. I ******* love my flat in the middle of the town centre. We are both 27. Still plenty time however I cannot see me changing guy mind on this. She is so broody atm because her sister is currently pregbantdoesn't help. I love my kid and life is perfectly fine the way it is. He is at a great age now, starts school after the summer. Plenty dosh, living in the best part of Edinburgh. Why she wants to throw all that up in the air by having more kids is baffling but that's women I suppose. What would you guys do? Can't exactly compromise on this can I? Kids are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Only got 3 but would have had more if I hadn't been a late starter - nearly 35 when I had my first. The second is miles easier than the first and financially I don't think you are massively worse off. However the thing you have to consider is that you will have so much less YOU time - in fact pretty much zero initially. Again though the joy kids bring you far outweigh any loss in freedom, cash etc.... My wife has 2 kids with her ex and is only 41 but she is denying me more kids sadly. Harsh but fair!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moshy Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Alimplentydoshozturk who was driving a shitreon c3 until it went up in flames? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoltan socrates Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Alimplentydoshozturk who was driving a shitreon c3 until it went up in flames? Guffaw!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Alimplentydoshozturk who was driving a shitreon c3 until it went up in flames? Guffaw!!! This is going well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Alimplentydoshozturk who was driving a shitreon c3 until it went up in flames?Points towards an insurance scam to help fund his lavish lifestyle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Points towards an insurance scam to help fund his lavish lifestyle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 It definitely all points to her seeing someone but if she is it's basically a whatsapp text relationship. She has stayed away at her "friends" 2 weekends in a row since the split, but other than that, she's been with the kids or stuck to her phone in the house. From personal experience, if a bird turns round one day and says she's not happy and wants to split up it usually means things are 100% over....it's not something she'd come out with unless she's thought long and hard about it in the first place. Especially after being together for 11 years. If that is indeed the case then it's irrelevant if she's seeing someone new because it won't change the fact that things are over between the two of you. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh mate but I think acceptance makes things a lot easier to move on with your life. You mentioned you find it hard to care at work, IMO work is a godsend in situations like this - it's the ideal thing to take your mind off everything. My not sure what line of work you are in but if I were you I'd be doing as much as possible, OT, working bank holidays/weekends etc, you'll get extra cash and maybe a promo if the right people notice. As others mentioned, I'd also get yourself down the gym - the weight will fall off after a few months and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. If, after a few months, your missus realises she just needed to blow off some steam with her mates and decides she made a mistake then happy days. If it doesn't work out that way then at least you've already started the process of turning your life around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 From personal experience, if a bird turns round one day and says she's not happy and wants to split up it usually means things are 100% over....it's not something she'd come out with unless she's thought long and hard about it in the first place. Especially after being together for 11 years. If that is indeed the case then it's irrelevant if she's seeing someone new because it won't change the fact that things are over between the two of you. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh mate but I think acceptance makes things a lot easier to move on with your life. You mentioned you find it hard to care at work, IMO work is a godsend in situations like this - it's the ideal thing to take your mind off everything. My not sure what line of work you are in but if I were you I'd be doing as much as possible, OT, working bank holidays/weekends etc, you'll get extra cash and maybe a promo if the right people notice. As others mentioned, I'd also get yourself down the gym - the weight will fall off after a few months and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. If, after a few months, your missus realises she just needed to blow off some steam with her mates and decides she made a mistake then happy days. If it doesn't work out that way then at least you've already started the process of turning your life around. Sensible post Andrew. I've started working out and eating healthier. Half way through making a cv to get myself a better job. Also managed to get a loan of some dough to buy a flat. If it's over then I'll be in a good place to move forward. It's just all still a bit raw just now and having to see her every weekend isn't helping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auldy19 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Sensible post Andrew. I've started working out and eating healthier. Half way through making a cv to get myself a better job. Also managed to get a loan of some dough to buy a flat. If it's over then I'll be in a good place to move forward. It's just all still a bit raw just now and having to see her every weekend isn't helping. Good effort mate . It won't be your family home but it will be your space for you and your kids ! I'm moving into a house tomorrow . Can't wait to get the place set up for the kids coming this weekend. Also just spent a great weekend with a great girl . Stuff gets better . Keep doing the good stuff . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Sensible post Andrew. I've started working out and eating healthier. Half way through making a cv to get myself a better job. Also managed to get a loan of some dough to buy a flat. If it's over then I'll be in a good place to move forward. It's just all still a bit raw just now and having to see her every weekend isn't helping. Good stuff Greedy. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel when you're in your own place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Sensible post Andrew. I've started working out and eating healthier. Half way through making a cv to get myself a better job. Also managed to get a loan of some dough to buy a flat. If it's over then I'll be in a good place to move forward. It's just all still a bit raw just now and having to see her every weekend isn't helping. Absolutely delighted to read this!!! Good on you bud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley2111 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I've just split up with my Girlfriend of 11 years. We have 3 kids together and a mortgage. Pretty painful stuff. 33 and staying with the parents again. They don't particularly want me there and i don't want to be there. Anyone gone through this before? Any advice would be great. I'm in a total rut. Been through marriage break up.. Rebound sex doesn't work.. And could make matters a lot worse. . Only time heals im afraid.. Yip girly reply but true..Try stay amicable for the kids sake makes life so much easier, if she sees you trying your best that way.. Things might warm between you both too.. Sent from my F8331 using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 Been through marriage break up.. Rebound sex doesn't work.. And could make matters a lot worse. . Only time heals im afraid.. Yip girly reply but true..Try stay amicable for the kids sake makes life so much easier, if she sees you trying your best that way.. Things might warm between you both too.. Sent from my F8331 using Tapatalk Sorry to hear about your break up. It's good to hear a woman's point of view on this sort of thing. I won't be falling out with her over the kids any time soon. That's one of the weird things about this. She's been fine with me over them. I think her single mum mates have poisoned her against me to be honest. She's never off group chat with them. They're probably making out that the single life is awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shanks Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Generally would recommend what people have been saying, keep yourself busy and don't keep messaging her. Try and show her that you are getting on with your life. Thanks for posting anyway, dealing with stuff myself and this thread has helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Generally would recommend what people have been saying, keep yourself busy and don't keep messaging her. Try and show her that you are getting on with your life. Thanks for posting anyway, dealing with stuff myself and this thread has helped. Mate. This thread is a bit like the depression one. No matter how much we all disagree over on the Terrace, support is available on the few threads over here. Good luck pal I never thought I would clear the tunnel but I did eventually Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjay Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 How's things going Greedy?? Hope they're starting to look up for you pal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) Got a feeling I will be rocking up here with a story soon. I touched upon it in the depression thread. Things are awful at home and we are both to blame (me more so recently - no excuses though) And following on from a longstanding argument I've to choose between staying in the house or speaking to my family again. Really don't know if there is a way forward. Cannot imagine not seeing my son every day and that is probably the only reason I'm fighting for us at the moment. Edited March 9, 2017 by Homme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poseidon Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Got a feeling I will be rocking up here with a story soon. I touched upon it in the depression thread. Things are awful at home and we are both to blame (me more so recently - no excuses though) And following on from a longstanding argument I've to choose between staying in the house or speaking to my family again. Really don't know if there is a way forward. Cannot imagine not seeing him every day and that is probably the only reason I'm fighting for us at the moment. I read your post on the other thread - my relationship difficulties were in part due to the extended family so I know what a state you can get yourself in being the 'middle man' so to speak. Feel free to drop me a PM if you want to chat. Also, this is not to be confused mith my intentions on the 'Online dating' thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 I read your post on the other thread - my relationship difficulties were in part due to the extended family so I know what a state you can get yourself in being the 'middle man' so to speak. Feel free to drop me a PM if you want to chat. Also, this is not to be confused mith my intentions on the 'Online dating' thread Thanks bud. I may be in touch soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Mate. This thread is a bit like the depression one. No matter how much we all disagree over on the Terrace, support is available on the few threads over here. Good luck pal I never thought I would clear the tunnel but I did eventually You are a changed man, catching that ball in the wheatfield was your turning point mate. Confidence at 100 % , and obviously have a great women now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) Mate. This thread is a bit like the depression one. No matter how much we all disagree over on the Terrace, support is available on the few threads over here. Good luck pal I never thought I would clear the tunnel but I did eventually double post Edited March 9, 2017 by Harry Potter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 (edited) How's things going Greedy?? Hope they're starting to look up for you pal. I feel better every week mate. There is obviously some times when it hits me again and i end up deep in thought and not feeling too great but generally the week has been ok. As I've mentioned previously, i have to see her when i go to look after the kids every weekend. That usually knocks me back a bit when she leaves 30 mins later to stay at her mates. This weekend should be interesting. Can't be helped though. Edited March 9, 2017 by Greedy_Jambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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