Online Dating

[¼½¾]

Viewed this thread for a couple of days but not looked at it since Thursday night. Checked tonight, 269 unread posts!

 

Congratulations SF, you are probably too busy to read this just now 

 

Thanks to the many posters who have made me LOL. This will no doubt end up in the classics. 

 

If he's not, he soon will be.  Fiddlers elbow, and all that.  

[Ryan Jarman]

Don't worry, Salad'll be reaching for his phone to update us before it's floppy again post coitus.

[ThehandsofZibi]

This is JKB at its finest. Enjoy flinging it up her tonight SF!

[Morgan]

Did you steal her pants? Do they have stains and have you been sniffing them all day?

FFS!

 

 

[Morgan]

This is JKB at its finest. Enjoy flinging it up her tonight SF!

Flinging it up her

[Boof]

he could be wandering around the streets of Muirhouse or Pilton as we speak, dazed, confused wrapped in clingfilm with a cucumber stuck up his erse!!!

So...more Salad Erse than Salad Fingers?

[robbo1874]

Without going through the whole thread was it the piemaker SF rattled or some other victim?

[Morgan]

Without going through the whole thread was it the piemaker SF rattled or some other victim?

Some other wee skelp.

[robbo1874]

Some other wee skelp.

Good lad!! Online dating is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Just hope he doesn't end up falling for her.

Happened to one of the joiners on a job.

Rattling this tidy. Showed all the boys photos of her all ways. Ended up madly in love with her. Still gets it tight about that.

Edited August 13, 2016 by robbo1874

[Auld Reekin']

FFS!

 

 

 

I think IJ was making a none-too-oblique reference to a precedent for such behaviour, established by a noteworthy poster on here who "8"s h1b5 (and everything / everyone else...).   

 

[LeftBack]

Flinging it up her

total eclipse of the heart?

[tweegy]

Update SF?

[B4 Part B]

Good lad!! Online dating is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Just hope he doesn't end up falling for her.

Happened to one of the joiners on a job.

Rattling this tidy. Showed all the boys photos of her all ways. Ended up madly in love with her. Still gets it tight about that.

I'll take a PM.

[Jambo dans les Pyrenees]

11 pages and amazed - AMAZED - that there hasn't been a reference to "tossing the salad"...

 

JKB not what it used to be etc.

[Paolo]

11 pages and amazed - AMAZED - that there hasn't been a reference to "tossing the salad"...

 

JKB not what it used to be etc.

There has been one or two mentions, son don't worry, JKB is not losing it.

[muldoon74]

thankfully no mention "Salad cream" either..

 

oops.

[ThehandsofZibi]

Just up, don't care about Farah, Ennis-hill or Rutherford. I want to know if Salad Fingers got the gold for bedroom gymnastics??

[Fitzroy Pointon]

That's her away. Can now watch MOTD and more importantly drop this load I've been holding in all night.

 

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[Fitzroy Pointon]

Who's next on the list?

 

Or have you found yourself your ideal dirty?

I'll be honest she's a dirty not marriage material obviously but she'll do for now.

 

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[Ryan Jarman]

she'll do for now.

 

 

 

Players gonna play

[iantjambo]

I'll be honest she's a dirty not marriage material obviously but she'll do for now.

 

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She's so lucky to be getting scuttled from such a charming gentleman as you SF

[Fitzroy Pointon]

She's so lucky to be getting scuttled from such a charming gentleman as you SF

I realise now that i sounded like a bit of a **** there. I apologise.

 

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[Prince Buaben]

Imagine when she reads through his phone in a couple of weeks and finds this thread

 

 

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[Jambo dans les Pyrenees]

Imagine when she reads through his phone in a couple of weeks and finds this thread

 

 

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Nae fingers (and other extremities also hacked off with a rusty blade).  Nap.

[Ryan Jarman]

She's probably thinking 'Aye he's alright, but he kept drunkenly talking in his sleep about 'Salad for fingers & keeping the lads in the shed happy' He doesn't even have a garden, weirdo.'

[Huguenot]

Great read.

 

Is this burd from Edinburgh? or Glasgow? Somebody mentioned Frankenstein's on George the 4th bridge and getting dropped off at the Barras?

[Ryan Jarman]

Huguenot trying to pinpoint the dirty so he can have sloppy salad seconds

 

[Fitzroy Pointon]

Great read.

 

Is this burd from Edinburgh? or Glasgow? Somebody mentioned Frankenstein's on George the 4th bridge and getting dropped off at the Barras?

She'd defo a Weegie [emoji1]. Well almost, she's a Bishy bursd.

 

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[Stuart Lyon]

Bishy - really?

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bishy

[chester copperpot]

My ex wife was from Bishopbriggs. Watch them mate, she was a headbanger.

 

Bishy birds not to be trusted.

[Der Kaiser]

This thread makes me want to download Tinder.....

[Michael_Jackson]

My ex wife was from Bishopbriggs. Watch them mate, she was a headbanger.

 

Bishy birds not to be trusted.

It's probably her he's pumping

[chester copperpot]

It's probably her he's pumping

 

Good luck to him then. Probably already had more shags oot of her than I did throughout the whole of my marriage

[Morgan]

Good luck to him then. Probably already had more shags oot of her than I did throughout the whole of my marriage

[IronJambo]

I'll be honest she's a dirty not marriage material obviously but she'll do for now.

 

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Are you going to pass on her pants when you're finished with them?

[Dawnrazor]

I'll be honest she's a dirty not marriage material obviously but she'll do for now.

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What do you mean "dirty"? Does she like it up the banana fritter while doing herself with the black mamba and have her sister tickle your dangly bits? Or is the sink full of last weeks dishes and she never cleans behind the fridge?

[Jambo dans les Pyrenees]

What do you mean "dirty"? Does she like it up the banana fritter while doing herself with the black mamba and have her sister tickle your dangly bits? Or is the sink full of last weeks dishes and she never cleans behind the fridge?

 

I was just about to ask "good dirty or bad dirty" but you, sir, have a better way with words....

[Sooperstar]

It's probably her he's pumping

If it turned out that CC had been cheering on someone to pump his ex wife then that would just be fantastic.

[chester copperpot]

If it turned out that CC had been cheering on someone to pump his ex wife then that would just be fantastic.

 

I would love it as it would turn out she was cheating on her current guy and would use it to blackmail her for life

[Ryan Jarman]

Imagine the scenes if it was.

 

[Riddley Walker]

We'd need to create a new Super Classics sub-forum just for this thread.

[iantjambo]

If it turned out that CC had been cheering on someone to pump his ex wife then that would just be fantastic.

 

I think this scenario would elevate this to the greatest thread in the history of the Internet.

[chester copperpot]

So, SF, how old is said strumpet?

 

Chester. Pay attention...

 

Also, if ages don't tally, does your ex have any female relations that might fit the age group Salad will supply?

 

She has a wee sister who is pretty nice in the mid 30's age.

 

She looks a right wee dirty too so would please me if it was her

[theshed]

I've not read all this thread but is this the same women the OP said he didn't fancy?

[Maroon Sailor]

I've not read all this thread but is this the same women the OP said he didn't fancy?

Nope - This could be Chester's ex

[iantjambo]

I've not read all this thread but is this the same women the OP said he didn't fancy?

Nah, he cooled it with the Fray Bentos bursd when he saw pictures of her and found himself a wee dirty who he's been rattling in between getting pished all weekend, the lucky *******

[chester copperpot]

Nope - This could be Chester's ex

[Ivan Drago]

Wonder if Chester will turn up at the wedding and cause a ruckus when he finds out Salad has been eating his ex wife's pie

[Maroon Sailor]

Wonder if Chester will turn up at the wedding and cause a ruckus when he finds out Salad has been eating his ex wife's pie

They really should have a bake off

 

Steak pie girl and chester's ex with Mary Berry

[King prawn]

Let me get this straight.. Chester has been cheering on some stranger to pump his ex wife?

 

The same ex that forced him to have a dump in a field?