theshed Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Nah, he cooled it with the Fray Bentos bursd when he saw pictures of her and found himself a wee dirty who he's been rattling in between getting pished all weekend, the lucky ******* Right away back to read this thread from the start as sounds like things have took a turn for the better since the OP said he didn't fancy her after seeing her photo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Let me get this straight.. Chester has been cheering on some stranger to pump his ex wife? The same ex that forced him to have a dump in a field? Yes. It'd be kinda poetic justice if Salad was to do her up the poop shoot after what she made me do that fateful evening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Yes. It'd be kinda poetic justice if Salad was to do her up the poop shoot after what she made me do that fateful evening! Poop shoot Classic Monsieur Propercock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Chester has an ex wife. Confirmed She is probably screwing Fish Fingers. More than likely. He's pleased about this situation. Apparently. He fancies her wee sister. So he says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Chester has an ex wife. Confirmed She is probably screwing Fish Fingers. More than likely. He's pleased about this situation. Apparently. He fancies her wee sister. So he says. Summed up perfectly. Would love for it to be true. One slight issue is the fact salad said the bird was pretty tidy. My ex is a bit of a fat mess since I kicked her arse to the kerb 5 years ago! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Chester has an ex wife. Confirmed She is probably screwing Fish Fingers. More than likely. He's pleased about this situation. Apparently. He fancies her wee sister. So he says. Probably can confirm that the Salad is not a Fruit Salad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Summed up perfectly. Would love for it to be true. One slight issue is the fact salad said the bird was pretty tidy. My ex is a bit of a fat mess since I kicked her arse to the kerb 5 years ago! Leicester Propercock? If ever a poster on here had a way with words - it's you mate. You make me laugh every day. I can assure you, that's a compliment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Leicester Propercock? If ever a poster on here had a way with words - it's you mate. You make me laugh every day. I can assure you, that's a compliment. Funny, right back atcha chief. Funnily enough I have a mental vision of each poster and yours involves sitting on an outside toilet posting on kb whilst drinking a can of kestrel lager. Dunno where I get the mental image from Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Funny, right back atcha chief. Funnily enough I have a mental vision of each poster and yours involves sitting on an outside toilet posting on kb whilst drinking a can of kestrel lager. Dunno where I get the mental image from It's an inside toilet. French style (which means it's a hole in the feckin floor). It's not Kestrel. It's Heineken or Peroni or Nastro Azzuro or Morettti. You still make me laugh Chester because with you a spade is a feckin spade. Top poster mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Careful you two - Monsieurs Morgan and Shuttlecock, you might turn this into an online dating site ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 It's an inside toilet. French style (which means it's a hole in the feckin floor). It's not Kestrel. It's Heineken or Peroni or Nastro Azzuro or Morettti. You still make me laugh Chester because with you a spade is a feckin spade. Top poster mate I know its not an outside toilet and I know its not kestrel ye drink its just that's the mental image I get of you. Jonno though is completely different. Grey haired old dude with a fag hinging oot his mooth. Dont even know if he smokes or not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I know its not an outside toilet and I know its not kestrel ye drink its just that's the mental image I get of you. Jonno though is completely different. Grey haired old dude with a fag hinging oot his mooth. Dont even know if he smokes or not That's not how I see Jonno. No hair and no fag. Unlike me - blonde, bronzed and permanently fecked on good beer. : Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Careful you two - Monsieurs Morgan and Shuttlecock, you might turn this into an online dating site ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 That's not how I see Jonno. No hair and no fag. Unlike me - blonde, bronzed and permanently fecked on good beer. : I was incoherent on wine last night, proper minced. Took me till tea time to be fully sobered up. Was heartbroken at finding out Salad was pumping my ex wife that drove me to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I was incoherent on wine last night, proper minced. Took me till tea time to be fully sobered up. Was heartbroken at finding out Salad was pumping my ex wife that drove me to it Sorry. Incoherency is awful. I only experience this seven times a week. My ex wives are begging for me to come back to them but I'm like 'had yer chance girl'. Or 'girls'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Sorry. Incoherency is awful. I only experience this seven times a week. My ex wives are begging for me to come back to them but I'm like 'had yer chance girl'. Or 'girls'. Haha my ex is always hinting at me pumping her as well now that I've got another squeeze on thr go however I wouldn't cheat on my new missus as she's way out of my league. It's like my ex wants what she cannae have. She was quality in the sack tho so was maybe a wee bit tempted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Haha my ex is always hinting at me pumping her as well now that I've got another squeeze on thr go however I wouldn't cheat on my new missus as she's way out of my league. It's like my ex wants what she cannae have. She was quality in the sack tho so was maybe a wee bit tempted Dinnae do it Leicester. Don't risk a good thing for a wee paper bag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 A blowjob isn't cheating. Hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Go for it Chester. Nothing bad will happen and The Shed will always be by your side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) Aye, if you do make sure you start a thread. Something like 'I got my extramarital hole in a field tonight' Edited August 14, 2016 by Ryan Jarman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 (edited) Go for it Chester. Nothing bad will happen and The Shed will always be by your side.The shed. And about a third of the Terrace. The other two thirds are Hibs or Rangers. Edited August 14, 2016 by Morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I cant do it to my current girl. She really is brilliant. Plus I dont wanna go there after salad fingers has had his manky way with her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I cant do it to my current girl. She really is brilliant. Plus I dont wanna go there after salad fingers has had his manky way with her Sloppy seconds or even thirds are not recommended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 I must apologise for my lack of input on this thread since last night. I think she may be coming over tonight after she finishes work. I probably should cool it to be honest. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I must apologise for my lack of input on this thread since last night. I think she may be coming over tonight after she finishes work. I probably should cool it to be honest. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbo1874 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Smelly fingers regretting this thread when they the engagement gets announced!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 This is escalating nicely This is the 3rd night in 4. You say she's alright 'for now'. She's a girl, therefore this whirl wind romance means she's probably starting to harbour feelings for you. This is either going to end in a shit storm of a break off or a dysfunctional marriage. Tough decisions coming up. Keep us posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo316 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Smelly fingers regretting this thread when they the engagement gets announced!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I must apologise for my lack of input on this thread since last night. I think she may be coming over tonight after she finishes work. I probably should cool it to be honest. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk There is no way back now. Heartbreak or relationship are your two options. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcap Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 She will get a better match on tinder then will pie you. Enjoy it whilst it lasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo dans les Pyrenees Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I must apologise for my lack of input on this thread since last night. I think she may be coming over tonight after she finishes work. I probably should cool it to be honest. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Great plan, she'll take that well. No risk at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 This is escalating nicely This is the 3rd night in 4. You say she's alright 'for now'. She's a girl, therefore this whirl wind romance means she's probably starting to harbour feelings for you. This is either going to end in a shit storm of a break off or a dysfunctional marriage. Tough decisions coming up. Keep us posted Either of these situations is ******* brilliant for the rest of us though, let's be honest eh By the way 3/4 nights is more than a "she'll do for now" relationship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 Great plan, she'll take that well. No risk at all. brilliant Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Seeing each other every day straight from the offset. If you have no intention of this turning into a serious relationship you need to nip this in the bud pronto. Don't see her again until the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I miss the auld fat burd that made the pies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart McNeill Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 (edited) There's nothing better than seeing these topics develop. Classic threads are funny but they're even better in real time! Good Luck Salad Fingers, whatever you decide to do haha! Edited August 15, 2016 by Stuart McNeill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I miss the auld fat burd that made the pies Your wife has left you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Your wife has left you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 tweegy will give you sound advice how to break up with your new friend, should you need it SF. You'll also get advice on how to break out of chains, locked rooms and basements. You never know... By the way Salad, have you PM'd Chester yet? Best to be safe, eh? Coincidences n all that... Oh, and ask her tonight what she thinks of people who eat dry cereal. You'll soon find out what kind of deviant your dealing with! Probably better to ask her when she's not got her mouth full. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EreWeG0.. Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 There is no way back now. Heartbreak or relationship are your two options. It could work.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 It could work.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Any more than 3rides and it's a relationship. Ohhh Salad... next stop Heartbreak Motel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King prawn Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Where's tweegy when you need him for break up advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Drago Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I miss the auld fat burd that made the pies He might still go back to her when he realises how big a psycho the bunny boiler is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweegy Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Where's tweegy when you need him for break up advice? He's still in the honeymoon period. I'm waiting for when I'm needed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilson's Shank Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I must apologise for my lack of input on this thread since last night. I think she may be coming over tonight after she finishes work. I probably should cool it to be honest. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Cool it, I think dipping it in ice could help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Did she look anything like Margot Robbie? Guaranteed she looks more like Robbie Neilson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 The seethe thread has some poems going so thought I would chop in with this one. I apologise in advance Ode to Salad Fingers: There was a man named Salad Fingers, Whom looked online yet found just Mingers, A girl with pie made from pure steak, Not good enough he wanted his cake, Alas came a bursd who had the lot, Oh shit her ex is Copperpot, But fingers he cared not a jot, He gets to ram her right up the bot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo316 Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 The seethe thread has some poems going so thought I would chop in with this one. I apologise in advance Ode to Salad Fingers: There was a man named Salad Fingers, Whom looked online yet found just Mingers, A girl with pie made from pure steak, Not good enough he wanted his cake, Alas came a bursd who had the lot, Oh shit her ex is Copperpot, But fingers he cared not a jot, He gets to ram her right up the bot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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