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Der Kaiser
38 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

The Mrs bought the 6 year old an England kit today. Ffs, if any of you move down south make sure you move North if and when you have kids.

 

 

I've had a vision of your plans for next weekend......

 

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3 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

 

I've had a vision of your plans for next weekend......

 

tumblr_mfolycf7NK1qgxy6bo1_500.gif.33a97bc393590e672a4b1f04db6191f4.gif

Missed the boat. A friend is having an extension built but the foundations are already laid 😭

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On 01/07/2021 at 08:45, Governor Tarkin said:

Folk spitting at bus stops.

Something I've thankfully not seen it for a while, which is worse than that, is some one blasting the contents of their nose onto the pavement.

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A Boy Named Crow
5 hours ago, IronJambo said:

The Mrs bought the 6 year old an England kit today. Ffs, if any of you move down south make sure you move North if and when you have kids.

 

Indirectly, this was a big reason for me not sticking around in England. 😂

 

Edited by A Boy Named Crow
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William H. Bonney
12 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

Something I've thankfully not seen it for a while, which is worse than that, is some one blasting the contents of their nose onto the pavement.


Jamie Walker does this on the football pitch and it always seems to infuriate me. Manky behaviour and more so during the pandemic. 

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20 hours ago, IronJambo said:

The Mrs bought the 6 year old an England kit today. Ffs, if any of you move down south make sure you move North if and when you have kids.

 

 

A small fire will sort that right out.

 

Oh, and make sure you get rid of that England shirt as well.

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17 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

Something I've thankfully not seen it for a while, which is worse than that, is some one blasting the contents of their nose onto the pavement.

Enjoy getting rid of a nose full if I’m cycling and it gets intolerable. Always funny though if you see someone attempting it and they use the wrong hand to block the other nostril as it almost always results in a shoulder covered in snot. 

Edited by Tazio
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3 hours ago, tian447 said:

 

A small fire will sort that right out.

 

Oh, and make sure you get rid of that England shirt as well.

Sorry dude but what am I setting fire to? My Mrs? My boy? My home? Think I'll pass 😂

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16 hours ago, IronJambo said:

Sorry dude but what am I setting fire to? My Mrs? My boy? My home? Think I'll pass 😂

 

The Mrs was implied, but I'll leave it up to you how you want to proceed :lol:

 

The In-Laws, however, might be a different story!

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2 hours ago, tian447 said:

 

The Mrs was implied, but I'll leave it up to you how you want to proceed :lol:

 

The In-Laws, however, might be a different story!

😂 Too late to banjo the in-laws, they don't have 20 years left so it's not worth doing the time. And in fairness to the problem, both my boys were born in England and my Mrs is English so they're ummm English. 

 

That kit was a kick in the nuts though. It might find it's way into the washing machine at 60 with some red socks. 

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Der Kaiser

Can we have segregated cash machines for male and female please?

I'd like to stop queueing for cash particularly when there are ladies in the line as they all take feckin ages.

Males dont ruminate over their balance, or have a whole handbag routine. They type in their PIN, take the cash and leave, most with it still in hand and put it in their wallet away from the machine allowing the next person to take their cash. 

Pretty confident this will save us males an extra hour every week and that's even in these more popular contact-less times.

 

Oh......If you identify as anything else you have to go in to the actual bank to make a withdrawal. You're likely to be very happy with this as then you can explain your whole life story to the teller and how your bank card doesn't reflect your identity properly.

Edited by Der Kaiser
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6 hours ago, Der Kaiser said:

Can we have segregated cash machines for male and female please?

I'd like to stop queueing for cash particularly when there are ladies in the line as they all take feckin ages.

Males dont ruminate over their balance, or have a whole handbag routine. They type in their PIN, take the cash and leave, most with it still in hand and put it in their wallet away from the machine allowing the next person to take their cash. 

Pretty confident this will save us males an extra hour every week and that's even in these more popular contact-less times.

 

Oh......If you identify as anything else you have to go in to the actual bank to make a withdrawal. You're likely to be very happy with this as then you can explain your whole life story to the teller and how your bank card doesn't reflect your identity properly.

You failed to mention that they will also go through every card in their purse, just to make the wait longer for everyone else.

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Harry Potter

Another power cut last night, my wife noticed when up for

the toilet, after 12 midnight, seems to be happening quite frequent now.

 

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57 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

Another power cut last night, my wife noticed when up for

the toilet, after 12 midnight, seems to be happening quite frequent now.

 

 

maybe she should see a doctor?

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On 05/07/2021 at 12:43, Furious Styles said:


Jamie Walker does this on the football pitch and it always seems to infuriate me. Manky behaviour and more so during the pandemic. 

Aye its horrible and Walker looks a bigger tit doing it than he already is

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Harry Potter
3 hours ago, cheetah said:

 

maybe she should see a doctor?

😕

Edited by Harry Potter
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Had a tooth extraction this afternoon. The only issue is, my teeth have absolutely massive roots.  Been putting it off for about 6 months now because I knew it wasn't going to be simple, as the only other one I've needed done wasn't either. This was a whole level worse than I imagined. 

 

It took a hour and 15 minutes to get the damn thing out my mouth.  All sorts of modern tools were used, mainly pliers. 

 

After 10 minutes, it was clear it wasn't shifting, so the dentist had to break the tooth up into bits to get them out in stages. Having a tooth shattered muktiple times whilst still firmly in your face is not a pleasant experience, regardless of the fact that I couldn't feel much with anaesthetic. 

 

My face was covered in blood, and my t-shirt is stained as well.  Top lip is burst because of the amount of force needed to shift it.  I look like I've been punched in the face, all for one poxy tooth. Not even a wisdom tooth either!! 

 

Psychological torture, but it's out now. 

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25 minutes ago, tian447 said:

Had a tooth extraction this afternoon. The only issue is, my teeth have absolutely massive roots.  Been putting it off for about 6 months now because I knew it wasn't going to be simple, as the only other one I've needed done wasn't either. This was a whole level worse than I imagined. 

 

It took a hour and 15 minutes to get the damn thing out my mouth.  All sorts of modern tools were used, mainly pliers. 

 

After 10 minutes, it was clear it wasn't shifting, so the dentist had to break the tooth up into bits to get them out in stages. Having a tooth shattered muktiple times whilst still firmly in your face is not a pleasant experience, regardless of the fact that I couldn't feel much with anaesthetic. 

 

My face was covered in blood, and my t-shirt is stained as well.  Top lip is burst because of the amount of force needed to shift it.  I look like I've been punched in the face, all for one poxy tooth. Not even a wisdom tooth either!! 

 

Psychological torture, but it's out now. 

 

I wish I hadn't read that. It reminded me of my recent hammer & chisel experience that I'd managed to blank out. Might as well have got my builder to do the job!

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21 minutes ago, Wee Mikey said:

 

I wish I hadn't read that. It reminded me of my recent hammer & chisel experience that I'd managed to blank out. Might as well have got my builder to do the job!

 

It's never a fun experience, especially when it isn't just a simple "grab and pull". 

 

At least the builder would have popped some silicone sealant in it to stop the bleeding! 

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52 minutes ago, tian447 said:

Had a tooth extraction this afternoon. The only issue is, my teeth have absolutely massive roots.  Been putting it off for about 6 months now because I knew it wasn't going to be simple, as the only other one I've needed done wasn't either. This was a whole level worse than I imagined. 

 

It took a hour and 15 minutes to get the damn thing out my mouth.  All sorts of modern tools were used, mainly pliers. 

 

After 10 minutes, it was clear it wasn't shifting, so the dentist had to break the tooth up into bits to get them out in stages. Having a tooth shattered muktiple times whilst still firmly in your face is not a pleasant experience, regardless of the fact that I couldn't feel much with anaesthetic. 

 

My face was covered in blood, and my t-shirt is stained as well.  Top lip is burst because of the amount of force needed to shift it.  I look like I've been punched in the face, all for one poxy tooth. Not even a wisdom tooth either!! 

 

Psychological torture, but it's out now. 

about 2 years ago i had to get a wisdom tooth out ( i think i need another one out now). it took around 45 mins to get it out as the roots were not straight down like this picture, but curved up like a hook. then i needed stitches as those cotton things no matter how long they were putting pressure on it would not stop the bleeding . then my dentist was having lots of issues gettting the stiches in, the most senior denists at the practice was called in to help. it was around 1.5 hours from the start to getting out of there.

 

Why Do I Need a Root Canal Treatment If My Tooth Doesn't Hurt?

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5 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

about 2 years ago i had to get a wisdom tooth out ( i think i need another one out now). it took around 45 mins to get it out as the roots were not straight down like this picture, but curved up like a hook. then i needed stitches as those cotton things no matter how long they were putting pressure on it would not stop the bleeding . then my dentist was having lots of issues gettting the stiches in, the most senior denists at the practice was called in to help. it was around 1.5 hours from the start to getting out of there.

 

Why Do I Need a Root Canal Treatment If My Tooth Doesn't Hurt?

 

There's nothing I look forward to more than getting my gums slit open, a fair amount of banging, cracking, yanking etc. followed by stitches. I console myself by looking on the bright side and imagining the hell that it must've been pre anaesthetics.

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If it cheers you lot up then i've had 7 grands worth of dental treatment this year, completely pain free (other than my wallet) but I suppose that's why it costs so much to go private!

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19 hours ago, tian447 said:

Had a tooth extraction this afternoon. The only issue is, my teeth have absolutely massive roots.  Been putting it off for about 6 months now because I knew it wasn't going to be simple, as the only other one I've needed done wasn't either. This was a whole level worse than I imagined. 

 

It took a hour and 15 minutes to get the damn thing out my mouth.  All sorts of modern tools were used, mainly pliers. 

 

After 10 minutes, it was clear it wasn't shifting, so the dentist had to break the tooth up into bits to get them out in stages. Having a tooth shattered muktiple times whilst still firmly in your face is not a pleasant experience, regardless of the fact that I couldn't feel much with anaesthetic. 

 

My face was covered in blood, and my t-shirt is stained as well.  Top lip is burst because of the amount of force needed to shift it.  I look like I've been punched in the face, all for one poxy tooth. Not even a wisdom tooth either!! 

 

Psychological torture, but it's out now. 


My brother got a tooth out a couple of years ago. It took the Dentist and age to get it out and he (my brother) went through pretty much the same as you.

When it finally came out, it turned out that one of the roots was in a big L shape.

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57 minutes ago, iantjambo said:


My brother got a tooth out a couple of years ago. It took the Dentist and age to get it out and he (my brother) went through pretty much the same as you.

When it finally came out, it turned out that one of the roots was in a big L shape.

Mate of mine went to get a tooth out. The dentist was struggling so she mounted the chair, put a knee on his chest and focused all of her strength. After a few seconds she strained that little bit too much, she suddenly farted, my mate burst out laughing. When he laughed, he moved his head backwards, which was the only reason the tooth actually came out. The dentist ran out of the room with a hell of a beemer and sent someone else to finish the job! He was made to use a different dentist after that.

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3 hours ago, superjack said:

Mate of mine went to get a tooth out. The dentist was struggling so she mounted the chair, put a knee on his chest and focused all of her strength. After a few seconds she strained that little bit too much, she suddenly farted, my mate burst out laughing. When he laughed, he moved his head backwards, which was the only reason the tooth actually came out. The dentist ran out of the room with a hell of a beemer and sent someone else to finish the job! He was made to use a different dentist after that.

🤣

 

I've heard of folk having gas at the dentist and always assumed it was something else.

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Konrad von Carstein

****** horseflies...never been bitten like this before my legs and arms are covered in scabs or weeping yellow watery stuff.

 

Thier bite is like being jabbed with a needle and, for me, I get big itchy lumps , that I scratch naturally 🙄 which causes the afore said scabs and yellow stuff.

 

Wee fckers!

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15 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

🤣

 

I've heard of folk having gas at the dentist and always assumed it was something else.

At first I assumed the story was bullshit. However, the story had never changed over the years and I don't think he's capable of making up yarns and keeping a straight face. 

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Harry Potter

Folk spilling fuel on the garage forecourt, how difficult is it to fill a car with fuel,  ☹️.

Note, overfilling is a problem, best just to stop after 1st click to stop overflow on to floor, saves money as well.

 

Edited by Harry Potter
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JudyJudyJudy

Masked People still not putting their hand over their mouth when they cough ! Esp on buses 

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Captain Sausage

Trying to sell our house just now. Meant to have 8 viewings today, only 3 showed up. Yesterday was meant to be 3 viewings, only 2 showed up. 
 

How ****ing inconsiderate do you have to be?!

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Seeing all this dental chat

i know I need to go get a couple bits done, but although my (current) dentist is efficient and painless as possible, still scarred by two dental experiences years ago.

age 11, was told that as I was getting anaesthetic it wouldn’t hurt, it didn’t work, as well as dribbling down my chin, unable to speak, I felt everything.

 

another was as an adult, getting a tooth out, next to my wisdom tooth and the dentist couldn’t. Similar to the farting dentist Minus the fart, the dentist was on the chair hauling with all their strength at it. Clawing at my face before eventually getting it with the help fo at least 1 other dentist.

looked like Id been beaten up when I got home 

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3fingersreid
44 minutes ago, Dagger Is Back said:

Iain Stirling. Love Island narrator

 

Utter ringpiece

Love island full stop 

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Dagger Is Back
12 minutes ago, 3fingersreid said:

Love island full stop 

 

Indeed mate but I reckoned that was a given. TV for half wits

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more of a sadness rather than seethe but works

 

the band cinderella last week on the 14th lost two members, gary corbett a touring keyboardist and jeff lebar (guitarist). i expect most of you will not have heard of cinderella but they recorded a number of good songs and were what you would call a glam rock band probably my favourite song of theirs

 

 

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15 hours ago, Harry Potter said:

Folk spilling fuel on the garage forecourt, how difficult is it to fill a car with fuel,  ☹️.

Note, overfilling is a problem, best just to stop after 1st click to stop overflow on to floor, saves money as well.

 

I'm not sure how you think it would save money? Surely you would use any fuel you put in at one point or other.

 

Many more and also sensible reasons to stop at the first click https://www.google.com/amp/s/uk.motor1.com/news/298717/stop-fuelling-up-pump-off/amp/

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14 minutes ago, IronJambo said:

I'm not sure how you think it would save money? Surely you would use any fuel you put in at one point or other.

 

Many more and also sensible reasons to stop at the first click https://www.google.com/amp/s/uk.motor1.com/news/298717/stop-fuelling-up-pump-off/amp/

he means any fuel spilled costs you so having all the fuel you dispense in your car is better and less costly compared to if you spill any on the forecourt

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5 minutes ago, milky_26 said:

he means any fuel spilled costs you so having all the fuel you dispense in your car is better and less costly compared to if you spill any on the forecourt

I stand corrected. Misread it

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Harry Potter
7 hours ago, IronJambo said:

I'm not sure how you think it would save money? Surely you would use any fuel you put in at one point or other.

 

Many more and also sensible reasons to stop at the first click https://www.google.com/amp/s/uk.motor1.com/news/298717/stop-fuelling-up-pump-off/amp/

You are paying for the fuel that you spill. an act that is so avoidable.😏.

Sorry IJ, that has been covered.  never read all the posts😕.

 

Edited by Harry Potter
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3fingersreid
10 hours ago, Dagger Is Back said:

 

Indeed mate but I reckoned that was a given. TV for half wits

Less than “half” I’d say 😂😂

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Montgomery Brewster
21 hours ago, BarneyBattles said:

My main seethes are bad supermarket and driving etiquette but aside from that I absolutely hate it when someone signs off an email with ‘Best’. **** right off. 
 

That’s up there with folk signing off with the initial letter of their first name. Totally ****ing presumptuous shite. 
 

Best, B. 

Aye my big gaffer and a few other erseholes do the same. As you say 

 

**** RIGHT OFF !

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Malinga the Swinga
23 hours ago, Dagger Is Back said:

Iain Stirling. Love Island narrator

 

Utter ringpiece

Managed to bag himself Laura Whitmore though, so must be doing something right.

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On 17/07/2021 at 17:52, Captain Sausage said:

Trying to sell our house just now. Meant to have 8 viewings today, only 3 showed up. Yesterday was meant to be 3 viewings, only 2 showed up. 
 

How ****ing inconsiderate do you have to be?!


We’ve had the same recently, estate agents been in the game years and said he’s never had viewers just not show up, plenty late cancellations but until recently had never actual no-shows

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On 17/07/2021 at 17:52, Captain Sausage said:

Trying to sell our house just now. Meant to have 8 viewings today, only 3 showed up. Yesterday was meant to be 3 viewings, only 2 showed up. 
 

How ****ing inconsiderate do you have to be?!


We’ve had the same recently, estate agents been in the game years and said he’s never had viewers just not show up, plenty late cancellations but until recently had never actual no-shows

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Captain Sausage
16 hours ago, Ribble said:


We’ve had the same recently, estate agents been in the game years and said he’s never had viewers just not show up, plenty late cancellations but until recently had never actual no-shows


Total nightmare. 
 

Had one set of idiots who insisted on viewing before our renovations were done. They came to view and declared the space was too small for them. We finished the kitchen, put furniture into the house, and now they’ve come back and put a bid in 20% below asking price :rofl:

 

The cheek! Our other two bids are 2% and 5% above asking. 

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2 minutes ago, Captain Sausage said:


Total nightmare. 
 

Had one set of idiots who insisted on viewing before our renovations were done. They came to view and declared the space was too small for them. We finished the kitchen, put furniture into the house, and now they’ve come back and put a bid in 20% below asking price :rofl:

 

The cheek! Our other two bids are 2% and 5% above asking. 

 

We had one booked a couple of weeks ago, girl had arranged to view on the saturday then we got a request for her mum to come see it a few days before. Mum then turned up looking really confused by our 1 bed, 1st floor tenement flat, seemed to think her daughter was going to be buying a house with garden in Leith for 160 grand?!?

 

Anyway congrats that you have bids coming in, wish we were!

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Captain Sausage
23 minutes ago, Ribble said:

 

We had one booked a couple of weeks ago, girl had arranged to view on the saturday then we got a request for her mum to come see it a few days before. Mum then turned up looking really confused by our 1 bed, 1st floor tenement flat, seemed to think her daughter was going to be buying a house with garden in Leith for 160 grand?!?

 

Anyway congrats that you have bids coming in, wish we were!


Amazing!

 

My in laws had a couple of viewings back to back. Feedback from first was the garden was too small, the feedback from the second was that the garden was too big. Good feedback lol

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1 minute ago, Captain Sausage said:


Amazing!

 

My in laws had a couple of viewings back to back. Feedback from first was the garden was too small, the feedback from the second was that the garden was too big. Good feedback lol

 

Yeah we've had similar, both that the flat is bigger and smaller than expected. Our main issue is that our bedroom window has a 1.5 foot gap to the next building so just looks onto a wall, doesn't bother us having rented in other tenements we know that one stair over and we'd just have a wall with no natural light or fresh air but everyone wants a view because there is a window.

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