IronJambo Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 1 hour ago, 3fingersreid said: Called many things but never toxic ?? would your mum in law like to check it ? ? You're braver than me mate ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 8 minutes ago, IronJambo said: You're braver than me mate ? If it’s toxic I could be doing you a favour ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Wife and I are headed to Vegas for a holiday, as her best friend is getting married there. Having boarded the Gatwick bound plane at Edinburgh airport, we’re dismayed to see a collective infestation of Edinburgh Celtic Supporters clubs board the plane. I hope in vain that they’ve got some ridiculous post season friendly somewhere in Europe that I’ve not heard about but nope, that would be too lucky. The manky mob are descending on Vegas as well, for some “Celtic convention” that’s due to last all week. ? ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartsfc_fan Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 47 minutes ago, Bring on the Future said: Wife and I are headed to Vegas for a holiday, as her best friend is getting married there. Having boarded the Gatwick bound plane at Edinburgh airport, we’re dismayed to see a collective infestation of Edinburgh Celtic Supporters clubs board the plane. I hope in vain that they’ve got some ridiculous post season friendly somewhere in Europe that I’ve not heard about but nope, that would be too lucky. The manky mob are descending on Vegas as well, for some “Celtic convention” that’s due to last all week. ? ? Yeah they do that every year. We went in May 2015 and one of the local bar staff said they come every year in June. Enjoy ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 36 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: If the clarty get didn't wipe the old rusty sheriff's badge then he probably thinks that he is actually being hygienic to an extent as he hasn't run the risk of his fingers going through the bog roll and touching the remnant of the Sir John he had just deposited down the Tex Ritter. He's probably like this guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 3 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: If the clarty get didn't wipe the old rusty sheriff's badge then he probably thinks that he is actually being hygienic to an extent as he hasn't run the risk of his fingers going through the bog roll and touching the remnant of the Sir John he had just deposited down the Tex Ritter. Could you please translate that into English? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 4 hours ago, Samuel Camazzola said: He's probably like this guy. Thank feck it didn't show what he did in the cubicle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Ffs I made mojitos earlier and I think I got a drop of lime juice on the watch I was wearing as I've got a lighter spot on the case now. If I was a dwarf my name wouldnie be Happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) On 02/06/2019 at 19:36, IronJambo said: Ffs I made mojitos earlier and I think I got a drop of lime juice on the watch I was wearing as I've got a lighter spot on the case now. If I was a dwarf my name wouldnie be Happy. Dopey? Dunk the whole watch in the lime juice...sorted. Edited June 4, 2019 by Old Blue Eyes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 3 hours ago, Old Blue Eyes said: Dopey? Dunk the whole watch in the lime juice...sorted. Dopey would be about right. I'm just going to have to put up with the splodge until it catches up with the rest of the watch. It's been slowly patinating since October and as nice as the "virgin" bronze is it can't stay that way without a lot of work. Besides that, I really like how it's been developing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 11 hours ago, Old Blue Eyes said: Dopey? Dunk the whole watch in the lime juice...sorted. Definitely Dopey. Or maybe Clumsy. I dropped said watch on a tiled floor earlier and it's stopped working now ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Got really bad lower back pain. Feels like I’ve been beaten up and kicked in the back. Even codein isn’t working ?. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konrad von Carstein Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 House hunting! We saw "THE" house for us, we spoke to the vendor to ascertain his price expectations as the house had been on the market since the beginning of February and it was a "fixer upper", duly noted interest on the Monday morning, 2 hours later received a call from the selling solicitor advising a closing date on the Thursday...we bid his acceptable price +1£K....we had our bid accepted on the Friday morning...wee celebration that night and our plans for what we were going to do started to take shape. Phone call on the Monday advising that the property was being taken off the market and our offer was rejected!! Old **** was basing his price expectations on a similar (immaculate) property a couple of buildings down...the last few days have been a hell of looking at properties we really can't seem to get invested in and are now thoroughly hacked off Did I say he was an old ****??!! ****!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Sausage Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 10 minutes ago, Konrad von Carstein said: House hunting! We saw "THE" house for us, we spoke to the vendor to ascertain his price expectations as the house had been on the market since the beginning of February and it was a "fixer upper", duly noted interest on the Monday morning, 2 hours later received a call from the selling solicitor advising a closing date on the Thursday...we bid his acceptable price +1£K....we had our bid accepted on the Friday morning...wee celebration that night and our plans for what we were going to do started to take shape. Phone call on the Monday advising that the property was being taken off the market and our offer was rejected!! Old **** was basing his price expectations on a similar (immaculate) property a couple of buildings down...the last few days have been a hell of looking at properties we really can't seem to get invested in and are now thoroughly hacked off Did I say he was an old ****??!! ****!!! Know the pain mate. We moved down to Surrey last year and saw 26 houses before we found ‘the one’. The one meaning a non-council house that cost twice as much as our Aberdeen house with half the footprint. Its soul destroying but much better to persevere now than accept mediocrity and end up regretting it a couple of years down the line (applies to wife and house, sadly not football teams) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konrad von Carstein Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 9 minutes ago, Captain Sausage said: Know the pain mate. We moved down to Surrey last year and saw 26 houses before we found ‘the one’. The one meaning a non-council house that cost twice as much as our Aberdeen house with half the footprint. Its soul destroying but much better to persevere now than accept mediocrity and end up regretting it a couple of years down the line (applies to wife and house, sadly not football teams) It's pissed us off mightily, due to us actually engaging with the old **** and trying to manage his expectations, then to find out that he was wanting the thick end of 10K above what we had discussed with him. Had he said that at the beginning we would have walked away disappointed but accepting that we just couldn't justify his expectations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Continental Op Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Greggs have stopped putting non-stick slips on their iced donuts and cakes. Result - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Caine Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 People who open their car doors just as you're about to pass them. Driving through Whitburn this morning and I had to swerve at the last minute as an elderly a******e opened his driver's door right on to the road. Does nobody check for oncoming traffic these days? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitzroy Pointon Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 13 hours ago, The Continental Op said: Greggs have stopped putting non-stick slips on their iced donuts and cakes. Result - That really wound me up last week when I went in for a coffee, decided to treat myself to a white ice doughnut and half the icing peeled off with it. Unforgiveable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyBatistuta Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Horatio Caine said: People who open their car doors just as you're about to pass them. Driving through Whitburn this morning and I had to swerve at the last minute as an elderly a******e opened his driver's door right on to the road. Does nobody check for oncoming traffic these days? They then have the cheek to give you that look as if to say what’s your ####### problem!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Horatio Caine said: People who open their car doors just as you're about to pass them. Driving through Whitburn this morning and I had to swerve at the last minute as an elderly a******e opened his driver's door right on to the road. Does nobody check for oncoming traffic these days? I'm sure I read that the "Dutch reach" is to be included in the new Highway Code. Hopefully it is also incorporated into driving tests and is an automatic fail if you don't do it when leaving the vehicle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) . Edited June 11, 2019 by Ray Gin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Horatio Caine said: People who open their car doors just as you're about to pass them. Driving through Whitburn this morning and I had to swerve at the last minute as an elderly a******e opened his driver's door right on to the road. Does nobody check for oncoming traffic these days? Arseholes. I've had the fun experience of someone doing that to me when I was cycling along George Street many years ago. Partial somersault over the door and massively expensive repair to my bike. More amusingly a a mate stopped to be sick when was on the motorway a few years ago as he was so hungover and a passing artic took his door off. He then drove home another 50 miles with the door in his boot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 2 hours ago, Horatio Caine said: People who open their car doors just as you're about to pass them. Driving through Whitburn this morning and I had to swerve at the last minute as an elderly a******e opened his driver's door right on to the road. Does nobody check for oncoming traffic these days? 20 minutes ago, Tazio said: Arseholes. I've had the fun experience of someone doing that to me when I was cycling along George Street many years ago. Partial somersault over the door and massively expensive repair to my bike. More amusingly a a mate stopped to be sick when was on the motorway a few years ago as he was so hungover and a passing artic took his door off. He then drove home another 50 miles with the door in his boot. That’s going to happen more with the new electric cabs and the door opening out from the back 41 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: I'm sure I read that the "Dutch reach" is to be included in the new Highway Code. Hopefully it is also incorporated into driving tests and is an automatic fail if you don't do it when leaving the vehicle. That should be brought in , some of the near misses I’ve had and seen are incredible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 People who insist on talking to you at bus stops when you clearly have headphones on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 People who seem to abandon their vehicles for months on end. There is then a build up of rubbish under the wheels which doesn't get shifted by the street cleaners( if such a thing exists nowadays). Then when you get heavy rain you get massive puddles developing because the water can't flow passed these vehicles properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 3 hours ago, Tazio said: People who insist on talking to you when you don’t know them. And, continue to do so when you display that you are clearly not the least bit interested in the shite they’re spouting. FTFY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BM1874 Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Youngest has thrown the TV control somewhere, I’ve checked all the usual spots and hiding places and it’s nowhere to be found, asked him where it is and he gives the usual 4 year old Answers, but I wasn’t even home when it happened, his mother was, and has she bothered to look? Has she feck yet somehow it’s my fault we don’t have it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 This from an article on Edinburgh Live, about Victo Hugo opening on George Street, has got me right seething. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 32 minutes ago, Sooperstar said: This from an article on Edinburgh Live, about Victo Hugo opening on George Street, has got me right seething. Ha, a friend was one of the writers credited with that. She’ll be furious as she is super fastidious about spelling and grammar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Tazio said: Ha, a friend was one of the writers credited with that. She’ll be furious as she is super fastidious about spelling and grammar. Please pass on my regards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 People that type a instead of I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 (edited) My mate sent me a text this morning saying “Alright bestie, what you up to?” bestie? BESTIE!!! ******* dick got a mouthful of abuse back ??? Edited June 16, 2019 by iantjambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nookie Bear Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 On 13/06/2019 at 17:07, BM1874 said: Youngest has thrown the TV control somewhere, I’ve checked all the usual spots and hiding places and it’s nowhere to be found, asked him where it is and he gives the usual 4 year old Answers, but I wasn’t even home when it happened, his mother was, and has she bothered to look? Has she feck yet somehow it’s my fault we don’t have it Hide the kid til she pulls her finger out and helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 On 14/06/2019 at 22:20, Dino Velvet said: People that type a instead of I. A totally agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 11 minutes ago, BarneyBattles said: 4 year olds are mental. Mine sat and laughed at me being locked out one day as my Mrs had left her key in the inside of the lock and was upstairs hoovering. I was outside side for a good 10 mins trying to get the wee one to take the key out and she just sat there on the settee chortling evilly. I’ll remember that when Santa’s due ya wee boot. Wee boot The words of a loving father Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 43 minutes ago, Morgan said: A totally agree. A should of known Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 3 minutes ago, superjack said: A should of known Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thommo414 Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 On 14/06/2019 at 21:20, Dino Velvet said: People that type a instead of I. A know what you mean, gets on ma (not my, ma) tits. I understand it being spoken as its a dialect thing, and not just in Scotland either. But people who type how they speak are truly a different breed of utter ****ing cretin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Caine Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 Weetabix. Now, I really like weetabix - but I hate the process of extracting them from their wrappings with fall out going everywhere. I put them into a container but the amount of crumbs at the bottom of it is about equivalent to one weetabix. Off to get the hoover now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 7 minutes ago, Horatio Caine said: Weetabix. Now, I really like weetabix - but I hate the process of extracting them from their wrappings with fall out going everywhere. I put them into a container but the amount of crumbs at the bottom of it is about equivalent to one weetabix. Off to get the hoover now. Are you having Weetabix for your tea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Caine Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 8 hours ago, Lemongrab said: Are you having Weetabix for your tea? No. Just unpacked them from the shopping. Weetabix for tea...pfft. (second thoughts, maybe not such a bad idea) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 16 hours ago, Thommo414 said: A know what you mean, gets on ma (not my, ma) tits. I understand it being spoken as its a dialect thing, and not just in Scotland either. But people who type how they speak are truly a different breed of utter ****ing cretin Once knew a girl from Shetland who whenever she posted on Facebook would would switch between typing normally to typing in a Shetland accent anytime there was someone else from Shetland commenting etc, nobody else ever responded in a Shetland accent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 50 minutes ago, Horatio Caine said: No. Just unpacked them from the shopping. Weetabix for tea...pfft. (second thoughts, maybe not such a bad idea) ? Just remember to have them sans milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: ? Just remember to have them sans milk. Edited June 17, 2019 by iantjambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BM1874 Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 Controller found when he realised no controller = no paw patrol it magically appears, go figure and his iPad was down the back of the (turned off)! Radiator thankfully seethe over Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 On 17/06/2019 at 08:21, Ribble said: Once knew a girl from Shetland who whenever she posted on Facebook would would switch between typing normally to typing in a Shetland accent anytime there was someone else from Shetland commenting etc, nobody else ever responded in a Shetland accent The real question is would you ever Up Helly Her.....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said: The real question is would you ever Up Helly Her.....? If up hellying her meant setting her on fire and chucking her in the sea then absolutely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 (edited) When you pull over to let an emergency vehicle go past , try to move back into the traffic flow and some ignorant , selfish ******* has decided they’re going to race past everyone that’s moved over and not allow the other vehicles out . Twice I witnessed it yesterday ? Edited June 21, 2019 by 3fingersreid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 3 hours ago, 3fingersreid said: When you pull over to let an emergency vehicle go past , try to move back into the traffic flow and some ignorant , selfish ******* has decided they’re going to race past everyone that’s moved over and not allow the other vehicles out . Twice I witnessed it yesterday ? Smart move from the other driver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 3 hours ago, 3fingersreid said: When you pull over to let an emergency vehicle go past , try to move back into the traffic flow and some ignorant , selfish ******* has decided they’re going to race past everyone that’s moved over and not allow the other vehicles out . Twice I witnessed it yesterday ? Depends on the scenario here. I see people pulling over and stopping for this all the time when there would plenty of room in the road if they just pulled to the side a bit and slowed down. It's counter productive when cars stop half on/off the road for no real reason. Maybe the ignorant selfish twat was following the ambulance because they had a loved one in it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.