The_razors_edge Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 5 minutes ago, Morgan said: Glad I asked!! Glad it made you laugh! Im sitting there on my lounger every day looking like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 Took the wee man to MacDonalds. Fat Cow there was to busy stuffing her face and gazing at her phone to keep her toddler, who was running riot, under control. It was left to her son (I presume) to try and control him. The laddie himself only looked about 9 or 10. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 1 hour ago, iantjambo said: Took the wee man to MacDonalds. Fat Cow there was to busy stuffing her face and gazing at her phone to keep her toddler, who was running riot, under control. It was left to her son (I presume) to try and control him. The laddie himself only looked about 9 or 10. ? Janet was there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 6 minutes ago, Morgan said: Janet was there? She did look like a Janet ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 1 hour ago, The_razors_edge said: Glad it made you laugh! Im sitting there on my lounger every day looking like Enjoy your holiday man. Honestly, all the French aren’t that bad. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 2 minutes ago, iantjambo said: She did look like a Janet ? I can only apologise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 34 minutes ago, iantjambo said: She did look like a planet ? There you go, I sorted your typo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 14 hours ago, superjack said: There you go, I sorted your typo. I’ve told you before Jack, she’s Janet the Gannet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 14 hours ago, BarneyBattles said: Pricks who scrape cars and drive away. My Mrs got a shiny golf a couple of months ago and she saw a guy scrape it when reversing in the nursery car park then drive off. We got his number and called him, he was being very aggressive 'wisnae me, got any witnesses like? '. His attitude changed somewhat we he was informed not only were there four witnesses, he was also captured on the nursery CCTV. The golf is now shiny again, at his expense. Superb, Barney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Governor Tarkin Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 14 hours ago, BarneyBattles said: Pricks who scrape cars and drive away. My Mrs got a shiny golf a couple of months ago and she saw a guy scrape it when reversing in the nursery car park then drive off. We got his number and called him, he was being very aggressive 'wisnae me, got any witnesses like? '. His attitude changed somewhat we he was informed not only were there four witnesses, he was also captured on the nursery CCTV. The golf is now shiny again, at his expense. When I lived in Wardlaw Place some ****er used to walk down the odd number side of the road keying up every shiney car that was parallel parked. Went on for years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 This Tom Walker fella, the singer. He has two accents. He talks with a Mancunian accent and a Scottish accent, whichever takes his fancy. What's that all about? My cousin had to go to a child psychologist years ago because he started speaking with an American accent. Why is Tom Walker allowed to just saunter around speaking with two accents and no one pulls him up on it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 7 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: This Tom Walker fella, the singer. He has two accents. He talks with a Mancunian accent and a Scottish accent, whichever takes his fancy. What's that all about? My cousin had to go to a child psychologist years ago because he started speaking with an American accent. Why is Tom Walker allowed to just saunter around speaking with two accents and no one pulls him up on it? Never heard of him. He looks like a *****, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 5 minutes ago, Joey J J Jr Shabadoo said: Never heard of him. He looks like a *****, though. Just another dullard singer/songwriter who is seen as some sort of bloody musical innovator by radio channels that pander to people aged 16-24. Along the same lines as that snorefest George Ezra. Oh and he has two accents English Scottish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 2 minutes ago, Salad Fingers said: Just another dullard singer/songwriter who is seen as some sort of bloody musical innovator by radio channels that pander to people aged 16-24. Along the same lines as that snorefest George Ezra. Oh and he has two accents English Scottish Aye, he seems to have that JoBoxer/DMR look that seems to be popular right now. Also played on radio 1 and radio 2 and that George Ezra comparison - spot on. I don't think I'll ever hear of him again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctor jambo Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 Game of Thrones Having read the books, I started watching from series 1 all those years ago. Wife refused "not my cup of tea" She has only NOW changed her mind, so we have started from series 1, ep 1 - with me making mad attempts to avoid spoilers until we catch up. Bloody wives Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 6 hours ago, Morgan said: I’ve told you before Jack, she’s Janet the Gannet. With an arse like a ------? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 (edited) 11 minutes ago, superjack said: With an arse like a ------? Sorry, I’ve only got this ‘front view’ of her, making her way home from the Weight Watchers weekly weigh-in. She’s been attending for 3 years. Edited April 30, 2019 by Morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 31 minutes ago, Morgan said: Sorry, I’ve only got this ‘front view’ of her, making her way home from the Weight Watchers weekly weigh-in. She’s been attending for 3 years. Does she go to the special evenings at weight watchers, the 1 held on a weigh bridge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 32 minutes ago, Morgan said: Sorry, I’ve only got this ‘front view’ of her, making her way home from the Weight Watchers weekly weigh-in. She’s been attending for 3 years. does she think weight watchers is to watch your weight increase? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 8 minutes ago, superjack said: Does she go to the special evenings at weight watchers, the 1 held on a weigh bridge? She did, once. Feckin bridge only went and snapped didn’t it? 8 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Thaaar she blows !!! She’s not seen Moby Dick in years. In fact, she’s not seen.... Forget it. 8 minutes ago, milky_26 said: does she think weight watchers is to watch your weight increase? Got to say though, she passed with flying colours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
...a bit disco Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 "Damnit Janet, I love you!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 9 hours ago, ...a bit disco said: "Damnit Janet, I love you!" Watch out for those pelvic thrusts though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 18 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: This Tom Walker fella, the singer. He has two accents. He talks with a Mancunian accent and a Scottish accent, whichever takes his fancy. What's that all about? My cousin had to go to a child psychologist years ago because he started speaking with an American accent. Why is Tom Walker allowed to just saunter around speaking with two accents and no one pulls him up on it? He maybe thinks its cool for some weird reason, people eh. Mind you i have my posh accent for when i pick up the phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
...a bit disco Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Lemongrab said: Watch out for those pelvic thrusts though. Easily avoided with a step to the right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 19 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: Just another dullard singer/songwriter who is seen as some sort of bloody musical innovator by radio channels that pander to people aged 16-24. Along the same lines as that snorefest George Ezra. Oh and he has two accents English Scottish He was on Sunday Brunch a few weeks ago explaining it. Basically he was brought up in Glasgow from about 10 I believe. So he developed a Scottish accent which he uses when speaking to his family (grandparents I think up her) and other Scots. Doesn't explain which it was English on Lorraine though. Perhaps matches it to the greater audience. Same as John Barrowman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 20 hours ago, Salad Fingers said: This Tom Walker fella, the singer. He has two accents. He talks with a Mancunian accent and a Scottish accent, whichever takes his fancy. What's that all about? My cousin had to go to a child psychologist years ago because he started speaking with an American accent. Why is Tom Walker allowed to just saunter around speaking with two accents and no one pulls him up on it? That can be a symptom of an autism spectrum disorder, so it's good he was checked out. Lulu is a other one, who puts on a Scottish accent when it suits her. Thank God we're rarely subjected to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, ...a bit disco said: Easily avoided with a step to the right. Would need a rather large step to the right or it might drive you insane. Edited May 1, 2019 by superjack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 32 minutes ago, Lemongrab said: That can be a symptom of an autism spectrum disorder, so it's good he was checked out. That was my first thought too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Lemongrab said: That can be a symptom of an autism spectrum disorder, so it's good he was checked out. Lulu is a other one, who puts on a Scottish accent when it suits her. Thank God we're rarely subjected to it. I never found out the outcome but yes he was definitely on the spectrum. He also possibly had ADHD and Tourettes. He's carved out a decent career for himself teaching English in the Far East and now lives on the Isle of Wight with his American-Asian wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 14 hours ago, ...a bit disco said: "Damnit Janet, I love you!" Message duly passed on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 53 minutes ago, superjack said: Would need a rather large step to the right or it might drive you insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 For the second time I've been asked by someone in my local Tesco why I'm putting stuff in the food bank collection bin. Possibly because I appreciate that some people are less fortunate than me, but mainly because I'm not a rich, overprivileged, heartless, Cramond *****. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter McGavin Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 23 hours ago, Morgan said: Sorry, I’ve only got this ‘front view’ of her, making her way home from the Weight Watchers weekly weigh-in. She’s been attending for 3 years. People like that who eat a weight watchers curry and only have half a packet of biscuits instead of the full thing and think they’re going to be shedding the pounds are a seethe of mine. ”Yeah I have done no exercise and have sat on my arse watching telly the full week but I had a weight watchers curry so I’m doing well!” Cretins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 2 minutes ago, Shooter McGavin said: People like that who eat a weight watchers curry and only have half a packet of biscuits instead of the full thing and think they’re going to be shedding the pounds are a seethe of mine. ”Yeah I have done no exercise and have sat on my arse watching telly the full week but I had a weight watchers curry so I’m doing well!” Cretins. I know exactly what you mean. Exercise, in my opinion, is key to weight loss. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law has lost the key. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 2 hours ago, Tazio said: For the second time I've been asked by someone in my local Tesco why I'm putting stuff in the food bank collection bin. Possibly because I appreciate that some people are less fortunate than me, but mainly because I'm not a rich, overprivileged, heartless, Cramond *****. Aye but what "stuff" are you putting in? Is it porn mags? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 34 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Aye well she hasn't lost the key to the pantry judging by the nick of it. even if she did lose the key she would be through the door pretty damn quick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Der Kaiser said: Aye but what "stuff" are you putting in? Is it porn mags? And boxes of man size tissues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 2 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: Aye well she hasn't lost the key to the pantry judging by the nick of it. Pantry. 1 hour ago, milky_26 said: even if she did lose the key she would be through the door pretty damn quick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 My 4 year old had plastic surgery on his lip yesterday and the wee dickhead had gone and pulled some stitches out. Another bloody trip to the hospital beckons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thommo414 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 2 hours ago, IronJambo said: My 4 year old had plastic surgery on his lip yesterday and the wee dickhead had gone and pulled some stitches out. Another bloody trip to the hospital beckons. Wee bundles of joy, eh? Mrs is out at work, oldest is at school so thought it'd be a chilled day in the house. Left the wee man to his own devices so I could get some housework done and just heard loads of clattering. I think every single toy soldier, car, lego brick and other miscellaneous shite that he and his brother own is now scattered on that floor. He's now having a nap and I've got about 5 times the cleaning to crack on with. Prick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Acca. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 36 minutes ago, Morgan said: Acca. Are they any better or worse than ICAS or CIMA? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 minute ago, A Boy Named Crow said: Are they any better or worse than ICAS or CIMA? Don’t know, I’m not even sure what they stand for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 minute ago, Morgan said: Don’t know, I’m not even sure what they stand for! Sorry chief, could be a new low for me, all three are accountancy bodies... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Just now, A Boy Named Crow said: Sorry chief, could be a new low for me, all three are accountancy bodies... Ah right! No bloody wonder I didn’t have a Scooby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 1 minute ago, Morgan said: Ah right! No bloody wonder I didn’t have a Scooby! So what was the acca that provoked your seethe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Just now, A Boy Named Crow said: So what was the acca that provoked your seethe? Using it as an ‘abbreviation’ for the betting term, Accumulator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Named Crow Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 5 minutes ago, Morgan said: Using it as an ‘abbreviation’ for the betting term, Accumulator. I’d never have known that, different worlds eh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 3 minutes ago, A Boy Named Crow said: I’d never have known that, different worlds eh! Indeed. Like ‘lino’ for linesman. It’s just crazy talk to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 49 minutes ago, Morgan said: Indeed. Like ‘lino’ for linesman. It’s just crazy talk to me. Not as bad as the arses that say pen instead of penalty. Sure it's not a problem if it's written down as an abbreviation in a score summary (45" pen) but not spoken out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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