Seashell Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 funny iwas thinking that too but good tips JM;);) Dinny you start btw.......................... you forgot the dishes earlier!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K1874M Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 You just need to know how to keep a man happy thats all. 1, If he's hungry, cook him a meal, do the dishes, and then give him oral 2, If he's grumpy, give him a nice body massage, and then give him oral 3, If he's just come in from a hard day at work, see No 1 4 If you suspect he's seeing someone else, go and have a long hard look at yourself and ask yourself why, then feel ashamed for driving him away, and give him some oral 5, If you think he's about to propose, dont act all excited, just take it in your mou..., erm, stride, then say thank you by giving him some oral 6, If you ask him how you look, dont expect him to say horrible, even if you do, and as a reward, give him some oral 7. When he comes home late from the pub with his mates, ask him how his night has been, take his shoes off, get his tea from out the oven, run him a nice bath, and then give him some oral 8. If he comes home in a grumpy mood, ask yourself what you can do to make him happy, then give him some oral 9. If his computer packs in whilst on kickback, make surpise arrangements for to get this fixed without him knowing, he will love you for that, but only after you cheer him up by giving him some oral 10. If he is feeling ill and is off work, make sure you pamper him silly and make him feel a lot better, this usually works by giving him some oral There you go Leesie, 10 easy, quick steps on how to keep a bloke happy, hope you learn from it hun. haha quality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikki 74 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Dinny you start btw.......................... you forgot the dishes earlier!!! thats right Michelle you get him told..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leebo Posted January 28, 2008 Author Share Posted January 28, 2008 :laugh: I think I was wrong to put this post up. haha!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seashell Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 :laugh:I think I was wrong to put this post up. haha!! The 2 guys in my avatar are sweethearts Seriously not all guys are horrible but sounds like you need to give him time to get in touch with you, if this doesn't happen well its his loss hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 You just need to know how to keep a man happy thats all. 1, If he's hungry, cook him a meal, do the dishes, and then give him oral 2, If he's grumpy, give him a nice body massage, and then give him oral 3, If he's just come in from a hard day at work, see No 1 4 If you suspect he's seeing someone else, go and have a long hard look at yourself and ask yourself why, then feel ashamed for driving him away, and give him some oral 5, If you think he's about to propose, dont act all excited, just take it in your mou..., erm, stride, then say thank you by giving him some oral 6, If you ask him how you look, dont expect him to say horrible, even if you do, and as a reward, give him some oral 7. When he comes home late from the pub with his mates, ask him how his night has been, take his shoes off, get his tea from out the oven, run him a nice bath, and then give him some oral 8. If he comes home in a grumpy mood, ask yourself what you can do to make him happy, then give him some oral 9. If his computer packs in whilst on kickback, make surpise arrangements for to get this fixed without him knowing, he will love you for that, but only after you cheer him up by giving him some oral 10. If he is feeling ill and is off work, make sure you pamper him silly and make him feel a lot better, this usually works by giving him some oral There you go Leesie, 10 easy, quick steps on how to keep a bloke happy, hope you learn from it hun. Post of the year. Pi$$ed maself, then printed it off for the wife. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest S.U.S.S. Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 The 2 guys in my avatar are sweethearts Seriously not all guys are horrible but sounds like you need to give him time to get in touch with you, if this doesn't happen well its his loss hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seashell Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 hmmmmmmmmmmm they are you know!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest S.U.S.S. Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 hmmmmmmmmmmm they are you know!!! Sorry, im sure they are, i was referig to the sickly sweet comment at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seashell Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Sorry, im sure they are, i was referig to the sickly sweet comment at the end. Was just trying to be helpful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Sometimes a complete d***. Is better than no d***... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Thanks for the laugh Leesie...I would suggest not caring if he is on or not. Sometimes they are just surfing the web and still signed onto the site without knowing it. BTW, loved the oral rules. I keep telling my boyfriend that oral cures everything, he doesn't believe me but I will just have to show him the rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 This has to be the best thread on here in years. MuppetMaster if you can't convince your boyfriend it sounds like JohnMitchell's prepared to make the sacrifice. Just don't let Jambo71 find out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo 71 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 This has to be the best thread on here in years. MuppetMaster if you can't convince your boyfriend it sounds like JohnMitchell's prepared to make the sacrifice. Just don't let Jambo71 find out. :4_1_72: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 :4_1_72: Oops sorry John too late:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 This has to be the best thread on here in years. MuppetMaster if you can't convince your boyfriend it sounds like JohnMitchell's prepared to make the sacrifice. Just don't let Jambo71 find out. Just sent it to the gorgeous man...hopefully he will see reason and that I am right on this topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beverley Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 remember that bit in sex and the city when carries boyfriend tells miranda "he's just not that into you"??? kinda makes sense you know, and if you realise that this is the case you'll be a lot happier. yes (some) men have the ability to get under your skin and you'll do stupid things like this thread (i've done it too!) but in truth, if they were really wanting to talk to you, reply to you, or see you, they'd find a way alternatively, he may just have been too busy to reply or talk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 remember that bit in sex and the city when carries boyfriend tells miranda "he's just not that into you"??? kinda makes sense you know, and if you realise that this is the case you'll be a lot happier. yes (some) men have the ability to get under your skin and you'll do stupid things like this thread (i've done it too!) but in truth, if they were really wanting to talk to you, reply to you, or see you, they'd find a way Definitely true Bev...they are making a movie in Hollywood called "He's just not that into you." What will Hollywood come up with next???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo 71 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Just sent it to the gorgeous man...hopefully he will see reason and that I am right on this topic. What yer man or johnmitchell:eek: *EDIT - just realised john aint gorgeous:p :4_1_72: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 What yer man or johnmitchell:eek: :4_1_72: She said gorgeous surely that answers your question:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo 71 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 She said gorgeous surely that answers your question:) ** see edit** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 This has to be the best thread on here in years. MuppetMaster if you can't convince your boyfriend it sounds like JohnMitchell's prepared to make the sacrifice. Just don't let Jambo71 find out. PMSL!! I would be prepared (with J71's permission of course) to be her guinea pig and teach her the rules for a month or two I suppose, sheesh, the things I do for people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beverley Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 actually, if you want to keep your man in line then those rules definitely work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 PMSL!! I would be prepared (with J71's permission of course) to be her guinea pig and teach her the rules for a month or two I suppose, sheesh, the things I do for people! Brave Man;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcolm Tucker Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I have just had enough of guys now!! :sterb003::angry::angry: They Stress me out to the MAX!! :angry: Give it 2 weeks. Breath. Shag his best mate. Get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Post of the year. Pi$$ed maself, then printed it off for the wife. . I take it like me your in the spare room tonight then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Jambo 60 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I have just had enough of guys now!! :sterb003::angry::angry: They Stress me out to the MAX!! :angry: Im 47 wee man too old for you my son is 14 too wee for you whats the prob going to weegie lnd to stuff the huns. Wish i was 20 ieesie could fall for you IN MY DREAMS LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcolm Tucker Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Im 47 wee man too old for you my son is 14 too wee for you whats the prob going to weegie lnd to stuff the huns.Wish i was 20 ieesie could fall for you IN MY DREAMS LOL Doug, your posts make me laugh. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Seeger Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Im 47 wee man too old for you my son is 14 too wee for you whats the prob going to weegie lnd to stuff the huns.Wish i was 20 ieesie could fall for you IN MY DREAMS LOL Doesn't matter how down in the dumps i get i'll always raise a smile for Doug 46 and his posts. Classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 This is possibly the funniest thread since the pink hoody one!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuppetMaster Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 PMSL!! I would be prepared (with J71's permission of course) to be her guinea pig and teach her the rules for a month or two I suppose, sheesh, the things I do for people! If the gorgeous man doesn't come through (no pun intended) then I will surely think about your generous offer. Are all of you Scots, so giving and generous??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 If the gorgeous man doesn't come through (no pun intended) then I will surely think about your generous offer. Are all of you Scots, so giving and generous??? We are when it comes to things like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyJambo Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 John, If I get up the morn and find a set of those rules printed off and left for my attention by him what I live with with you're for it! He thinks every other bloke only gets it on birthdays and special occasions too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 John, If I get up the morn and find a set of those rules printed off and left for my attention by him what I live with with you're for it! He thinks every other bloke only gets it on birthdays and special occasions too! And he knows about all your other blokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyJambo Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 And he knows about all your other blokes? Aw dammit! Must be more careful in future! Aw dammit again...if I recall right it's you who works with Scotty boy is it not? Ach he knows better than to start! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 And he knows about all your other blokes? Ha ha! Nice one Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Aw dammit! Must be more careful in future! Aw dammit again...if I recall right it's you who works with Scotty boy is it not? Ach he knows better than to start! It is, but I'd forgotten about that connection! I'll have to have a few words when I get back up to Edinburgh on Thursday... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brownkg Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 wummin eh CDM's the lot of them. those old enough immediately think about Cadbury's dairy milk those younger than that are frantically looking up crossword puzzle solvers to decipher text speak.. and us blokes are all saying hemically riven entalcases yours from the downstairs no even getting near the spare room:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo121 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Just been into the hospital the night to see ma m8. His hoose got broken intae they stole his phone and computer and gave him a right doin. Hes lost all his numbers and says his burd will finish wi him if he doesn'y text her the night. *** wimin ai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail le jambo Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Well, speaking as a female myself, I think that if you are too keen then you can run the risk of coming across as needy. Needy is a turn off. If I arrange to meet a man, and he does not show, or if he says he will call and does not call, I do not make a big deal about it, in case there is a valid reason. If it happens again, then that is more than just bad luck, so I just cut them loose. In fairness to men, I find some of the female colleagues that I go for a drink with incredibly superficial. Looks do count, to me anyway, however, what I like more than anything is a guy that can make me laugh, and a little intellect does no harm either. gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Well, speaking as a female myself, I think that if you are too keen then you can run the risk of coming across as needy. Needy is a turn off. If I arrange to meet a man, and he does not show, or if he says he will call and does not call, I do not make a big deal about it, in case there is a valid reason. If it happens again, then that is more than just bad luck, so I just cut them loose. In fairness to men, I find some of the female colleagues that I go for a drink with incredibly superficial. Looks do count, to me anyway, however, what I like more than anything is a guy that can make me laugh, and a little intellect does no harm either. gail So yeah, about last friday - the car broke down. Sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 We are when it comes to things like this I think I might take up a career running a dating agency Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Well, speaking as a female myself, I think that if you are too keen then you can run the risk of coming across as needy. Needy is a turn off. If I arrange to meet a man, and he does not show, or if he says he will call and does not call, I do not make a big deal about it, in case there is a valid reason. If it happens again, then that is more than just bad luck, so I just cut them loose. In fairness to men, I find some of the female colleagues that I go for a drink with incredibly superficial. Looks do count, to me anyway, however, what I like more than anything is a guy that can make me laugh, and a little intellect does no harm either. gail Too keen? That's an understatment. I think Leesie falls into the 'desperate' category! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 How many guys on here think it's them that's been ignoring Leesie? C'mon Leesie, stop stalking me. PM somebody else if you have to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 How many guys on here think it's them that's been ignoring Leesie? C'mon Leesie, stop stalking me. PM somebody else if you have to... has she been sending you PMs as well? busy girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 You just need to know how to keep a man happy thats all. 1, If he's hungry, cook him a meal, do the dishes, and then give him oral 2, If he's grumpy, give him a nice body massage, and then give him oral 3, If he's just come in from a hard day at work, see No 1 4 If you suspect he's seeing someone else, go and have a long hard look at yourself and ask yourself why, then feel ashamed for driving him away, and give him some oral 5, If you think he's about to propose, dont act all excited, just take it in your mou..., erm, stride, then say thank you by giving him some oral 6, If you ask him how you look, dont expect him to say horrible, even if you do, and as a reward, give him some oral 7. When he comes home late from the pub with his mates, ask him how his night has been, take his shoes off, get his tea from out the oven, run him a nice bath, and then give him some oral 8. If he comes home in a grumpy mood, ask yourself what you can do to make him happy, then give him some oral 9. If his computer packs in whilst on kickback, make surpise arrangements for to get this fixed without him knowing, he will love you for that, but only after you cheer him up by giving him some oral 10. If he is feeling ill and is off work, make sure you pamper him silly and make him feel a lot better, this usually works by giving him some oral There you go Leesie, 10 easy, quick steps on how to keep a bloke happy, hope you learn from it hun. John, I have to say mate, you've just got me in trouble as I burst out laughing at that, best post of the year mate. Well worth the trouble I'm inevitably going to get into, a classic post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DikT. Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Holly Freekin Camolly... I was wondering were you got the DikT from...It'll be the diseases you'll have shortly!! :eek: ALWAYS!!!!!!!! practice safe sex, even when blowing:o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 ALWAYS!!!!!!!! practice safe sex, even when blowing:o Obviously a shy retiring type then. This is the funniest thread on here in ages. Gotta love the shed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DikT. Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Obviously a shy retiring type then. This is the funniest thread on here in ages. Gotta love the shed. Having gone through the private all girls boarding school thing, married off relatively young, believe me when I say there is nothing wrong with abit of ******. Sauce for the goose etc. Plus hubby is pretty damn old and seems to manage it more for young black fillies than he does for me. Then again, maybe that is my fault when you think about it. Dunno???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Did he ever contact you again, or have you been dumped? And you let this lot know about it ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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