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Salad Fingers

Salad's next 24 hours could be summed up here, as he prepares for his date with JKB ( and with her) at Frankenstein's...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:rofl: I just burst out laughing imagining strolling into the boozer and busting those moves.  Could go either way that one.  

 

For the Shhheeeeeddddddd

For the Shhheeeeeddddddd

 

Puump her, puump her, pu-ump her her her.

 

To the tune of:

 

 

Please don't have this stuck in your head as you're doing the deed :jjyay:

 

Could be a good way of "keeping the wolf from the door" as Alan Partridge said.  

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Samuel Camazzola

I can just imagine Salad's chat being full of anecdotes taken straight from the Classics section.

 

In terms of spray for tonight, I suggest Chanel Allure. Thank me later.

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I can just imagine Salad's chat being full of anecdotes taken straight from the Classics section.

 

In terms of spray for tonight, I suggest Chanel Allure. Thank me later.

 

Hopefully not from the classics section of JKB......'I had to shite in a field tonight' chat would not be a winner I suspect.......

 

But you never know! If she is into that then SF is in for a wild night

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Salad Fingers

Hopefully not from the classics section of JKB......'I had to shite in a field tonight' chat would not be a winner I suspect.......

 

But you never know! If she is into that then SF is in for a wild night

 

:rofl: you never know, she could be like that girl that someone was talking about earlier in the thread, asking if she should get ice cream as it would make a difference as to what consistency it came out  :vrwow:

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chester copperpot

What time's the date happening at.

 

Just so I can set my alarm so I dont miss the updates 'live'

 

The Olympic viewing can wait for a while

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What time's the date happening at.

 

Just so I can set my alarm so I dont miss the updates 'live'

 

The Olympic viewing can wait for a while

I hope SF appreciates that we've all put out Friday night on hold so that we can find out when he's slipped her a length :lol:

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Can we not rig a "red button" type thing for tonight's main event?!..........queue the jokes about the "wee red button" Salad Fingers will hoping to press Tonight!!!

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Can we not rig a "red button" type thing for tonight's main event?!..........queue the jokes about the "wee red button" Salad Fingers will hoping to press Tonight!!!

Doubt it'll get that far to be fair. The slightest touch through the underwear and the excuses will be being made.

 

:smuggy:

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Doubt it'll get that far to be fair. The slightest touch through the underwear and the excuses will be being made.

 

:smuggy:

Starts off well...5mxWA_s-200x150.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JKB gets interested...

 

 

 

TqXJ5xB.gif   tumblr_m3d4ixdWvo1r4fypto1_500.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things don't quite work out, as peer pressure from JKB takes its toll, sadly...

 

 

21-3.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited by Barack
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Salad Fingers

What time's the date happening at.

 

Just so I can set my alarm so I dont miss the updates 'live'

 

The Olympic viewing can wait for a while

[emoji1] meeting her at half 7. Now her plan is to go to the pub but I'm hopeful that she changes her mind and wants to stay in.

 

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

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chester copperpot

[emoji1] meeting her at half 7. Now her plan is to go to the pub but I'm hopeful that she changes her mind and wants to stay in.

 

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

 

 

Picking up the bairn at 8 tnite and driving at breakneck speeds to get back so I don't miss anything.

 

Right charmer you eh? 2nd date and you want to stay in! Take round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm.

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Right cTake round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm.

And the Web Cam!!
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Private Hudson

Picking up the bairn at 8 tnite and driving at breakneck speeds to get back so I don't miss anything.

 

Right charmer you eh? 2nd date and you want to stay in! Take round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm.

Is that what you call your 'old chap'?

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Riddley Walker

Go to the pub for a bit mate. It'll get the atmosphere and the chat going, go somewhere fairly lively and you'll both get pished quicker and drink quicker, which is surely what you want for a first time shag. You need to get off to a good start in the sack, you don't want to be doing that shit at half 8 when you're sober. Pub till 11, roll back to hers for midnight and that's it. Half hourly updates please.

 

Actually I want a sex update earlier than half 12, if you could bring forward my carefully thought out schedule by a couple of hours that would be great.

Edited by Riddley Walker
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Pizza ordered. Carry out in. Phone off the hook. Dialled into this thread for the evening.

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Auld Reekin'

Picking up the bairn at 8 tnite and driving at breakneck speeds to get back so I don't miss anything.

 

Right charmer you eh? 2nd date and you want to stay in! Take round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm.

 

A very risky strategy, according to another recent thread...    :booze:   :silly:   :taz:   :death:       

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Riddley Walker

You've not been this excited about a sex life, since the day you broke out of your ex's dungeon. :lol:

There's a tiny part of me that thinks this is all a ploy by "tweegy" and Salad Fingers' will never get a chance to post an update.

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You've not been this excited about a sex life, since the day you broke out of your ex's dungeon. :lol:

Not had a sex life since :rofl:

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We need updates!

Give the man a chance.

 

Go watch women's hockey or something. Take your mind off it mate.

Edited by Barack
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Give the man a chance.

 

Go watch women's hockey or something. Take your mind off it mate.

Worst thing is I'm actually in the pub with my mates! (Just checking for updates when I'm out for a smoke...)

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He's got to have had at least a wee feel by now surley?

I'm as jealous as feck by the way, can you remember boys what it was new and fresh for the first wee while??!! Magic!! I've been ferreting the burrow for 25 years now!!

Edited by Dawnrazor
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Salad Fingers

Right made it to the pub. Everything's good, bit busy and rough. Go to the bar and there's a tricolour behind it :cornette:

 

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

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Riddley Walker

Right made it to the pub. Everything's good, bit busy and rough. Go to the bar and there's a tricolour behind it :cornette:

 

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

Cool story mate are you going to shag her?

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Right made it to the pub. Everything's good, bit busy and rough. Go to the bar and there's a tricolour behind it :cornette:

 

 

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

 

 

 

Nobody cares about the decor.

 

What's she wearing? We can then judge if she's teasing about later.

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Dare you to shout 'Scott Brown is a dirty Celtic arsehole'

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Seen that flag in there last April.

 

More to the point, are her legs fat?

Edited by Morgan
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How are you coping with the permaboner? Is it firmly tucked into your waistband?

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chester copperpot

Which boozer is it Morgan.

 

And more importantly who lives close to pop in and shout 'Salaaaaaad fingerzzzzzz'

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Which boozer is it Morgan.

And more importantly who lives close to pop in and shout 'Salaaaaaad fingerzzzzzz'

Franks on George the fourth is it not?

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Got my first kiss wearing Joop.

 

School Xmas disco 1999. In the music corridor cos didn't want anyone to see. Not sure why cos she was / still is gorgeous! :lol:

Joop!?!?!?

 

Poor Homme.....

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