Salad Fingers Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 Salad's next 24 hours could be summed up here, as he prepares for his date with JKB ( and with her) at Frankenstein's... I just burst out laughing imagining strolling into the boozer and busting those moves. Could go either way that one. For the Shhheeeeeddddddd For the Shhheeeeeddddddd Puump her, puump her, pu-ump her her her. To the tune of: Please don't have this stuck in your head as you're doing the deed Could be a good way of "keeping the wolf from the door" as Alan Partridge said. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel Camazzola Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I can just imagine Salad's chat being full of anecdotes taken straight from the Classics section. In terms of spray for tonight, I suggest Chanel Allure. Thank me later. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DarthVodka Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I can just imagine Salad's chat being full of anecdotes taken straight from the Classics section. In terms of spray for tonight, I suggest Chanel Allure. Thank me later. Hopefully not from the classics section of JKB......'I had to shite in a field tonight' chat would not be a winner I suspect....... But you never know! If she is into that then SF is in for a wild night Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Salad Fingers Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 Hopefully not from the classics section of JKB......'I had to shite in a field tonight' chat would not be a winner I suspect....... But you never know! If she is into that then SF is in for a wild night you never know, she could be like that girl that someone was talking about earlier in the thread, asking if she should get ice cream as it would make a difference as to what consistency it came out Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chester copperpot Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 What time's the date happening at. Just so I can set my alarm so I dont miss the updates 'live' The Olympic viewing can wait for a while Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iantjambo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 What time's the date happening at. Just so I can set my alarm so I dont miss the updates 'live' The Olympic viewing can wait for a while I hope SF appreciates that we've all put out Friday night on hold so that we can find out when he's slipped her a length Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Going to a leaving party but all I care about is if SF doesn't blow it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnrazor Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Can we not rig a "red button" type thing for tonight's main event?!..........queue the jokes about the "wee red button" Salad Fingers will hoping to press Tonight!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tian447 Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Can we not rig a "red button" type thing for tonight's main event?!..........queue the jokes about the "wee red button" Salad Fingers will hoping to press Tonight!!! Doubt it'll get that far to be fair. The slightest touch through the underwear and the excuses will be being made. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Doubt it'll get that far to be fair. The slightest touch through the underwear and the excuses will be being made. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barack Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 (edited) Doubt it'll get that far to be fair. The slightest touch through the underwear and the excuses will be being made. Starts off well... JKB gets interested... Things don't quite work out, as peer pressure from JKB takes its toll, sadly... . Edited August 12, 2016 by Barack Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Salad Fingers Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 What time's the date happening at. Just so I can set my alarm so I dont miss the updates 'live' The Olympic viewing can wait for a while [emoji1] meeting her at half 7. Now her plan is to go to the pub but I'm hopeful that she changes her mind and wants to stay in. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chester copperpot Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 [emoji1] meeting her at half 7. Now her plan is to go to the pub but I'm hopeful that she changes her mind and wants to stay in. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Picking up the bairn at 8 tnite and driving at breakneck speeds to get back so I don't miss anything. Right charmer you eh? 2nd date and you want to stay in! Take round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnrazor Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Right cTake round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm. And the Web Cam!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Private Hudson Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Picking up the bairn at 8 tnite and driving at breakneck speeds to get back so I don't miss anything. Right charmer you eh? 2nd date and you want to stay in! Take round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm. Is that what you call your 'old chap'? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Riddley Walker Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 (edited) Go to the pub for a bit mate. It'll get the atmosphere and the chat going, go somewhere fairly lively and you'll both get pished quicker and drink quicker, which is surely what you want for a first time shag. You need to get off to a good start in the sack, you don't want to be doing that shit at half 8 when you're sober. Pub till 11, roll back to hers for midnight and that's it. Half hourly updates please. Actually I want a sex update earlier than half 12, if you could bring forward my carefully thought out schedule by a couple of hours that would be great. Edited August 12, 2016 by Riddley Walker Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Jarman Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Pizza ordered. Carry out in. Phone off the hook. Dialled into this thread for the evening. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 45 min call! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Auld Reekin' Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Picking up the bairn at 8 tnite and driving at breakneck speeds to get back so I don't miss anything. Right charmer you eh? 2nd date and you want to stay in! Take round a bottle or 3 of wine and get her half jake'd then unleash the charm. A very risky strategy, according to another recent thread... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Riddley Walker Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Hope you've had your TW by now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barack Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 45 min call! You've not been this excited about a sex life, since the day you broke out of your ex's dungeon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Riddley Walker Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 You've not been this excited about a sex life, since the day you broke out of your ex's dungeon. There's a tiny part of me that thinks this is all a ploy by "tweegy" and Salad Fingers' will never get a chance to post an update. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 You've not been this excited about a sex life, since the day you broke out of your ex's dungeon. Not had a sex life since Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 We need updates! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barack Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 (edited) We need updates!Give the man a chance. Go watch women's hockey or something. Take your mind off it mate. Edited August 12, 2016 by Barack Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Neilson's Shank Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Expecting updates from Clare Balding Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Give the man a chance. Go watch women's hockey or something. Take your mind off it mate. Worst thing is I'm actually in the pub with my mates! (Just checking for updates when I'm out for a smoke...) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnrazor Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 (edited) He's got to have had at least a wee feel by now surley? I'm as jealous as feck by the way, can you remember boys what it was new and fresh for the first wee while??!! Magic!! I've been ferreting the burrow for 25 years now!! Edited August 12, 2016 by Dawnrazor Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forza Cuore Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Drum roll...... Come on tae feck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
King prawn Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Tactical has worked by the looks of things Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tian447 Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 The 2-push-scoosh is probably over by now lads Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Salad Fingers Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 Right made it to the pub. Everything's good, bit busy and rough. Go to the bar and there's a tricolour behind it Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Riddley Walker Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Right made it to the pub. Everything's good, bit busy and rough. Go to the bar and there's a tricolour behind it Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Cool story mate are you going to shag her? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barack Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Right made it to the pub. Everything's good, bit busy and rough. Go to the bar and there's a tricolour behind it Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Nobody cares about the decor. What's she wearing? We can then judge if she's teasing about later. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Jarman Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Dare you to shout 'Scott Brown is a dirty Celtic arsehole' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Morgan Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 (edited) Seen that flag in there last April. More to the point, are her legs fat? Edited August 12, 2016 by Morgan Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Morgan Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Nobody cares about the decor. What's she wearing? We can then judge if she's teasing about later. Lip gloss? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tian447 Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 How are you coping with the permaboner? Is it firmly tucked into your waistband? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hungry hippo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Is this live on periscope? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Morgan Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 How are you coping with the permaboner? Is it firmly tucked into your waistband? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chester copperpot Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Which boozer is it Morgan. And more importantly who lives close to pop in and shout 'Salaaaaaad fingerzzzzzz' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Morgan Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Low shorts or big boner? Confess. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Morgan Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Which boozer is it Morgan. And more importantly who lives close to pop in and shout 'Salaaaaaad fingerzzzzzz' Franks on George the fourth is it not? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ted (Theodore) Logan Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Franks on George the fourth is it not?Malones imo Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GforGallo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Franks on George the fourth is it not? Surely not? I thought someone was being wide after the famous frankenstien's debacle!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shrekeo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Got my first kiss wearing Joop. School Xmas disco 1999. In the music corridor cos didn't want anyone to see. Not sure why cos she was / still is gorgeous! Joop!?!?!? Poor Homme..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chester copperpot Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Joop!?!?!? Poor Homme..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lovecraft Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj-MX_LwK_g Joop Joop Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chester copperpot Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj-MX_LwK_g Joop Joop Can I get a Joop Joop? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iantjambo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 No updates? **** you SF, hope you get a flopper Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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