Riddley Walker Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 The Spy Who Sent Me a Picture of Her ***. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Looks like she is The pie who came in from the cold Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Looks like she is The pie who came in from the cold No, she's just a cold pie. Mainly because she's so old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Was that the one with George Lazenby? Nope, Pie Brosnan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EreWeG0.. Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 octogenarian pussy judging by the picture she sent me Stay away....you only live once... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paolo Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Was that the one with George Lazenby? On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 On Her Vajesty's Secret Service. FTFY. I'm here all night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H1B5 Owner Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Give her a treat: Goldfingered. Or dumped: Piefall When the pie falls, It will crumble, We will stand taaaall, And eat it all together... I'll get me coat. Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Give her a treat: Goldfingered. Or dumped: Piefall When the pie falls, It will crumble, We will stand taaaall, And eat it all together... I'll get me coat. Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk Can I help you put the coat on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 If it's meant to be Piemonds Are Forever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 These threads start off great then get spoiled by the shitest of shite puns ever. Its not even remotely funny or witty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 These threads start off great then get spoiled by the shitest of shite puns ever. Its not even remotely funny or witty. I think she has frightened The Living Daylights out of Salad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaps Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 The pie who shagged me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilson's Shank Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Pieraker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Gashino Royale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcus Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 These threads start off great then get spoiled by the shitest of shite puns ever. Its not even remotely funny or witty. Aye. People who post ones that have been said already are the worst... Gashino Royale ... Gashino Royale. [emoji85] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Gashino Royale FFS. I never even noticed you'd beaten me to this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 The Spy who loved Fray Bentos? Quiche of Solace? I'm not even trying...... sorry...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Gashino Royale. Thief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 FFS. I never even noticed you'd beaten me to this Och lets share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Dr. Hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Dr. Hole. Very good Mish Moneypenny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Salad - how'd the date go last night? Or are we onto the mod girly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennywise Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 More importantly, what sauce would you put on a steak pie? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 More importantly, what sauce would you put on a steak pie? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Man milk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 11, 2016 Author Share Posted August 11, 2016 Salad - how'd the date go last night? Or are we onto the mod girly?It was pretty good. Nice lass. Meeting her again tomorrow night to go to the pub and then back to hers "but nothings happening" as she said Got to be up and out early as well on Saturday as I have VIP tickets for the Pipe Band Championships and I don't want to miss out on the free breakfast rolls. I really hope I don't wake up tied to the bed cos that would just be.......awful. Don't want to seem like a misery guts so it's fair to say I'll be hanging on Saturday. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Man milk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Give her one for Kickback Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Sailor Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Looks like steak pie girl is done and crusted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Looks like steak pie girl is done and crusted No hot meat filling for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 (edited) Need some advice lads and lassies. Been single for about a year now. Between having the kids every Friday and every second Friday/Saturday I have found it difficult to get out there and meet a woman. Anyway I thought I would give online dating a try (nothing fancy, I'm not paying for it yet). Anyway after about a month of talking to some nice and some not so nice girls one in particular messaged me. She was pretty much bang on, nice girl, nice photo, great patter and banter. Anyway what worried me was that she only had one picture. So we continued to chat and I gave her my number. Everything was going well, a little too well and she sent me another picture of her at a party. However it was a screen shot from Facebook and I seen the date at the top, 2011. Continued to chat in the hope that she still resembled that. Then she hit me with he picture from last week of her on holiday, of her and her dad. Now I could have sworn she sent me a picture of her parents. She looked terrible, nothing compared to her profile picture. the problem is now that I don't fancy her. However she has cracking patter and the chat between us is top notch. I'm not the kind of guy to go for a girl based on looks alone but this is taking the piss. I also am not an oil painting myself but I'm still fairly young and I would say handsome enough (just) to do a lot better. Now my question is how to I let her down gently cos I now don't want to meet her. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk Mate, I did a power of this and I met the wife through this method. Early days on t'net I was getting some right munters turning up for dates and such like... Nothing like their photos at all. But I got out of things if I didn't fancy the lady in question by saying I had a busy life with my kids and my ex was proving difficult and that would put them off - although I did bobby quote a few though regardless of looks I am ashamed to say. If you like someone then get on their FB straight away - I set up an account just to allow me to view etc.... Soon sorted out the fatties from the fabbies If you know what I mean ( there is a lot of over weight ladies on the online dating scene for obvious reasons). I should know I married one.......... Just be honest to a point..... Just say your only interested in some online banter but not really wanting much else. Lame but it means that if she sees you logged on after you have let her down gently then at least she will know why.... Edited August 11, 2016 by PTBCAL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Updates throughout the night from the bog Salad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Updates throughout the night from the bog Salad. Perv. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Perv. Got to build up my wank bank somewhere mate. I'm not gonna turn my nose up at a good ol' fashioned bog text. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Drago Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 It was pretty good. Nice lass. Meeting her again tomorrow night to go to the pub and then back to hers "but nothings happening" as she said Got to be up and out early as well on Saturday as I have VIP tickets for the Pipe Band Championships and I don't want to miss out on the free breakfast rolls. I really hope I don't wake up tied to the bed cos that would just be.......awful. Don't want to seem like a misery guts so it's fair to say I'll be hanging on Saturday. Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk What kind of pie is she making? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Got to build up my **** bank somewhere mate. I'm not gonna turn my nose up at a good ol' fashioned bog text. Good and fair point. Well made. I'm humbled by your honesty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Salad Fingers - show her your chanter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaps Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 (edited) The only time KB unite together is at someone else's expense. Edited August 12, 2016 by Chaps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcap Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Shit how did I miss this? Did he finally meet the fattie or is this a new one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Big night tonight. When you get back to hers I would be grateful if you both set up a Fantasy Premier League team and pay a fiver. Cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 SF, if you're not going to Periscope tonight, at least have the decency to wear a GoPro and upload tomorrow. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 I hope it's not all an anti-climax, so to speak. Imagine the updates go kinda like this: 21:30 "Just having a couple of drinks. Nice lass, good laugh, and she looks amazing tonight." 21:57 "Just in the taxi back to hers..." 22:28 " Sat in her living room with a beer, she's on the wine. She's been quite flirty with me!" 22:53 "Got a kiss and a fumble just now. She's gone to the toilet. Been gone a while though." 22:59 " She's just shouted on me if she can see me for a second. Asked where she was, and she said the bedroom...****, this might be it JKB!" 23:01 " Knew I should've had a pre-**** before I left the house tonight. Sorry all. Waiting on my taxi..." Don't fail us SF! this could pretty much be how it pans out. Don't let me down wee chap!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 Small update; after some back and forth messages last night it's fair to say I will be having a tactical tug before I leave the house later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Small update; after some back and forth messages last night it's fair to say I will be having a tactical tug before I leave the house later. That's too soon. Best do it in the pub prior to leaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riddley Walker Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Small update; after some back and forth messages last night it's fair to say I will be having a tactical tug before I leave the house later. #tugforfingers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 That's too soon. Best do it in the pub prior to leaving. Aye, and he can forget the Periscope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Small update; after some back and forth messages last night it's fair to say I will be having a tactical tug before I leave the house later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweegy Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Oan yersel salad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 KB really is brilliant at times. Nothing better than rooting for an absolute stranger that Ive never met with a dodgy user name purely so that he can get his hole. Gon yerself wee man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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