redjambo Posted November 23 Share Posted November 23 12 hours ago, Elljay said: I’m 65 and I remember that one from primary school. The other related one was: Dr Cameron, is that an anal thermometer you're writing with? Aye, Janet, some bum's got my pencil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted November 23 Share Posted November 23 23 hours ago, Robbo-Jambo said: What did the constipated mathethatician do ? He worked it out with his pencil. 1 hour ago, redjambo said: The other related one was: Dr Cameron, is that an anal thermometer you're writing with? Aye, Janet, some bum's got my pencil. Some say that the old ones are the best. Not always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted November 24 Share Posted November 24 If you get a hand job from a deaf girl who communicates via sign language, does it count as a blow job? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Posted November 24 Share Posted November 24 Does anyone remember that joke I made about chiropractors? It was about a week back...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWL Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 Wee 4 year old laddie told me the other day he couldn't say please in Spanish, I thought that's poor for four. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted November 26 Share Posted November 26 1 hour ago, JWL said: Wee 4 year old laddie told me the other day he couldn't say please in Spanish, I thought that's poor for four. I si what you did there. 👀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 It's so tragic that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs. -Jack Handy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N Lincs Jambo Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 On 23/11/2024 at 12:40, redjambo said: The other related one was: Dr Cameron, is that an anal thermometer you're writing with? Aye, Janet, some bum's got my pencil. Should that not have been Dr Findlay if Janet was his housekeeper 😂? Showing my age but I remember quite a few Janet/Dr Findlay jokes from my childhood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 2 hours ago, N Lincs Jambo said: Should that not have been Dr Findlay if Janet was his housekeeper 😂? Showing my age but I remember quite a few Janet/Dr Findlay jokes from my childhood I wondered that too, but I distinctly remember it being told as Dr Cameron, and he did play a large part in the series so who knows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott herbertson Posted November 27 Share Posted November 27 1 hour ago, redjambo said: I wondered that too, but I distinctly remember it being told as Dr Cameron, and he did play a large part in the series so who knows? Maybe Dr Cameron was the one who was handy with the anal thermometer? I don't remember that being mentioned much in the series, mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samgolden Posted November 29 Share Posted November 29 On 18/10/2024 at 11:31, superjack said: Instead of using diesel, I now run my car using herbs. It is now capable of thyme travel! Scientists have invented a car that runs on liquidised Parsley they are hoping to make the buses run on Thyme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted December 2 Share Posted December 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Gentleman Posted December 3 Share Posted December 3 On 28/11/2024 at 05:19, N Lincs Jambo said: Should that not have been Dr Findlay if Janet was his housekeeper 😂? Showing my age but I remember quite a few Janet/Dr Findlay jokes from my childhood Go on then, this is the place for them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted December 3 Share Posted December 3 6 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: That one ground my reading right to a full stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart500 Posted December 5 Share Posted December 5 On 27/11/2024 at 18:49, N Lincs Jambo said: Should that not have been Dr Findlay if Janet was his housekeeper 😂? Showing my age but I remember quite a few Janet/Dr Findlay jokes from my childhood These 2 sprung to mind.. Dr Cameron (to Janet): Put your hand up ma kilt, woman. Janet: Oh no Dr Cameron I couldn't do that! Dr Cameron: Put your hand up ma kilt woman!!! Janet: Oh well OK Dr Cameron....Dr Cameron! It's gruesome!! Dr Cameron: Pit your hand up again woman and it'll gruesome more! and Janet (to Dr Cameron): Dr Cameron, I've got terrible heartburn! Dr Cameron: Get yer tit oot ma porridge woman! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted Monday at 19:21 Share Posted Monday at 19:21 What was strange about Westlife's new plane? They were flying without wings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted yesterday at 01:15 Share Posted yesterday at 01:15 Two statues were standing in the park, a naked man and a naked woman. They had been facing each other for a hundred years. One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her. She looks at him. They go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel looks at her watch. "Um, you have fifteen minutes left… would you care to do it again?" He asks her, "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh! Yes, let's! But we should change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you take a shite on its head!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted yesterday at 01:19 Share Posted yesterday at 01:19 I’m not saying the pub we were in last week was rough, but they had a quiz and the first question was, ‘What the **** are you looking at?’ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted yesterday at 02:05 Share Posted yesterday at 02:05 50 minutes ago, Ulysses said: Two statues were standing in the park, a naked man and a naked woman. They had been facing each other for a hundred years. One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her. She looks at him. They go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel looks at her watch. "Um, you have fifteen minutes left… would you care to do it again?" He asks her, "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh! Yes, let's! But we should change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you take a shite on its head!" Genuine LOL. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted 21 hours ago Share Posted 21 hours ago 15 hours ago, Ulysses said: Two statues were standing in the park, a naked man and a naked woman. They had been facing each other for a hundred years. One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her. She looks at him. They go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel looks at her watch. "Um, you have fifteen minutes left… would you care to do it again?" He asks her, "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh! Yes, let's! But we should change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you take a shite on its head!" 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted 19 hours ago Share Posted 19 hours ago 16 hours ago, Watt-Zeefuik said: Genuine LOL. Thank you. It's literally and unashamedly a crap joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted 19 hours ago Share Posted 19 hours ago 12 minutes ago, Ulysses said: It's literally and unashamedly a crap joke. Monumentally so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted 18 hours ago Share Posted 18 hours ago 1 hour ago, Watt-Zeefuik said: Monumentally so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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