Maple Leaf Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 A man's elderly father had been widowed for many years. The son decided to give him a very special present for his 80th birthday, so he arranged for a call-girl to visit the father at his home. When the old man answered the door bell, he gaped at the beautiful woman smiling at him. She was absolutely stunning, and wearing a very revealing outfit. "Who are you?", stammered the old man. "I'm your birthday present", she smiled sweetly. "I'm here to give you super sex." "Thanks," replied the old fella. "I'll just take the soup." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambothump Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 On 02/12/2017 at 12:33, superjack said: Dad says to his wee boy.. would you rather go and see the mighty glasgow rangers this weekend....or go with mum to see santa ? To which the wee boy replies ffs dad I'm 10 now, I know rangers dont exist, I will go with mum. This has got to be the best of all the best,and not even a joke per se :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 On 12/4/2017 at 17:33, Tazio said: Did you hear about the woman with no legs that won a strawberry picking contest? Jammy *****. (See you next Tuesday is the starred out word) Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess a snail leaves behind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 8 hours ago, I P Knightley said: Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess a snail leaves behind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 A little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister." Santa Claus wrote back to him, "Ok, Send me your mother." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougal Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Without a doubt my favourite Robin Williams film is Mrs Fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samgolden Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 A horse and a donkey meet in a bar one night, they get chatting and hit it off. The horse invites the donkey back to his place, they go back and all around the walls are pictures of the horse winning the Derby, the Guineas, the Oaks etc etc. So anyway they have a great time and the horse suggests going to the donkeys house the next weekend. The Donkey is all up for it but he starts panicking thinking how he’s gonna impress this champion horse, he gets a brain wave and goes to the zoo and takes a pic of a zebra. So the weekend comes and the horse comes round to the donkeys, he walks in and there’s this massive picture of a zebra on the wall, ****ing huge, taking up a whole wall, “What’s that” say the horse “Ah it’s nothing” says the donkey “No tell me, I wanna know” says the horse. “Ach that’s just from when I used to play for Juventus” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Sorry, this one's rather good. Hearts ragdolled Celtic 4-0 at Tynecastle, ending their 69 (!) game win streak as a 16-year old Riccarton prospect kept Scott Brown in his pocket all day long. Okay, I know it's not really a joke, but I've been laughing about it all day long, thought I'd share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 10 hours ago, Ugly American said: Sorry, this one's rather good. Hearts ragdolled Celtic 4-0 at Tynecastle, ending their 69 (!) game win streak as a 16-year old Riccarton prospect kept Scott Brown in his pocket all day long. Okay, I know it's not really a joke, but I've been laughing about it all day long, thought I'd share. It's not a joke, but it IS funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyinthat Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 Retired and quickly got bored so another couple of auld jokers said the had the same happen so got a meet and greet at the supermarket.I thought I will try that so got fixed up at local shopping centre,and didn't last the day. was at the entrance giving the Good morning Welcome and have a nice days When this not overly attractive woman and her two kids came in,her shouting and slapping at her fractious kids.Good morning Madam nice children are they twins?Are you stupid yah dopey auld sod ones 9 and ones 4 what in hell makes you think they're twins.It's just that I cant believe somebody ****ed an ugly mess like you twice. Centre manager said I wasn't cut out for this work, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Of The Cat Cafe Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 A wealthy Texan walks into a small pub in Ireland. He slaps down $500 on the bar and announces, “I got 500 American dollars here for any of you fellers who can drink ten pints of Guinness in a row”. Nobody says anything. Everybody looks away, or looks at the floor. One guy leaves. The Texan orders a drink and starts chatting with the locals. About 5 or 10 minutes later the guy who left earlier returns. Small, skinny guy. He shyly taps on the Texan’s shoulder and asks him, “Pardon me, sir…but does your offer still stand?” The Texan stands up and slaps him on the shoulder. “It sure does…set ’em up, Joe!” The bartender expertly pours and sets up ten pints in a row of foaming Guinness. The little guy walks down the line and knocks back every one of them pretty briskly, barely slowing down through the ninth and tenth. He stands there smiling and burps once. “Well, here’s your money, Seamus!” says the Texan. “But I gotta ask you, where’d you disappear to there for a while?” “Well, I had to nip over to the other pub…to make sure I could do it.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samgolden Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 21 hours ago, King Of The Cat Cafe said: A wealthy Texan walks into a small pub in Ireland. He slaps down $500 on the bar and announces, “I got 500 American dollars here for any of you fellers who can drink ten pints of Guinness in a row”. Nobody says anything. Everybody looks away, or looks at the floor. One guy leaves. The Texan orders a drink and starts chatting with the locals. About 5 or 10 minutes later the guy who left earlier returns. Small, skinny guy. He shyly taps on the Texan’s shoulder and asks him, “Pardon me, sir…but does your offer still stand?” The Texan stands up and slaps him on the shoulder. “It sure does…set ’em up, Joe!” The bartender expertly pours and sets up ten pints in a row of foaming Guinness. The little guy walks down the line and knocks back every one of them pretty briskly, barely slowing down through the ninth and tenth. He stands there smiling and burps once. “Well, here’s your money, Seamus!” says the Texan. “But I gotta ask you, where’d you disappear to there for a while?” “Well, I had to nip over to the other pub…to make sure I could do it.” Brill my kind of humour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambothump Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 On 02/12/2017 at 12:33, superjack said: If you were to take Turkey from behind would Greece help ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Of The Cat Cafe Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Two blokes talking in a pub one Christmas night: "We had the in-laws for Christmas dinner. What about you?" "No, just turkey, like most people..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted December 26, 2017 Share Posted December 26, 2017 The wife was moaning at her husband. "Football, football, football. That's all you ever talk about. If you took me to a game sometime, instead of just talking about it, I think I'd die of shock." "Now, now, dear," replied the husband. "It's no good trying to bribe me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyinthat Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 It's Christmas day and three guys die and arrive at the pearly gates St Peter greets them and says all three of you do not qualify for entry here but as it is the birthday of Jesus It has been decided if you have a connection with Christmas you will be allowed to enter First guy pulls a Christmas bauble from his pocket and steps in Second guy shows tinsel and pine needles stuck on his jumper and steps in Third guy pulls a pair of panties from his pocket and pulls them on What are those asked St Peter They're Carols and steps in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyinthat Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Old Fella has always wanted a pair of Genuine cowboy boots Sees a pair on sale in store window and buys them Walks home proudly in them stands in front of his wife and says.See any thing different? Nope she says looking him over He storms up to the room.Strips naked and marches back in the boots,see any thing now he asks Nope you thing is still hanging down as it has for years she days That's because it's looking at my New Boots he shouted Shoulda bought a hat Nate Shoulda bought a hat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Did you read the item in the news earlier in the week? Apparently, a passenger aboard a RyanAir jet got fed up waiting for the plane to get to the gate in Malaga, Spain, so he opened the emergency exit and jumped out. His name was Charles Raines, and he was travelling with several members of his family. He was the only one who jumped out; all the other members of his family stayed aboard. So it's true after all. The Raines in Spain stayed mainly on the plane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 How does the Pope pay for things on Ebay? He uses his papal account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 6 minutes ago, C-3PO said: How does the Pope pay for things on Ebay? He uses his papal account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Of The Cat Cafe Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen," he replies. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down, because you know you'll forget it." He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles off into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says... "Where's my toast?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your ******* will power' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Have you ever wondered why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Why don't blind men skydive? Because it scares the daylights out of the dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Stolen off of twitter: me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier sperm bank employee: what glass of milk me: the glass of milk that was sitting on your desk sperm bank employee: oh my god me: what sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 "I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue." The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed. "Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!" "You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed. Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too." Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea. "Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue." After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him the bad news: If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, the patient does not want to hear about it. "You want to die?" asks the doctor. "But...how do I pee?" "We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem." So the patient has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the hell is happening??" The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 When the same man came into the branch of Oxfam I work in for the fifth week running, my curiosity got the better of me and I went onto the shop floor to speak to him. "Excuse me sir", I said, "I couldn't help but notice that you appear to be a tramp, yet every Friday and Saturday you come to this shop and spend £5 on a pair of smart black shoes. I have to confess that it's got me completely baffled and I just wanted to ask you why?" "Well there's a perfectly simple explanation", he answered, "You see, on the weekends I sit in a doorway by a nightclub that has a very strict dress code". "That doesn't explain it", I replied, "I mean, you don't need smart shoes just to sit outside". "I can see what you mean", he said with a chuckle, "But they're pretty useful if you want to get twenty quid off some prick who's come out wearing trainers". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 There's a reprise of the Women's March from a year ago today. Apparently someone spotted someone carrying a sign saying, "I'd call Donald Trump a ***** but he doesn't have the depth or warmth." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 I tried to sign up to a website the other day. I put my password in as 'beef stew' but it said my password wasn't stroganoff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 See when Steve Jobs died.....did they try to put him in a bag of rice first? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 On 20/01/2018 at 19:04, Ugly American said: There's a reprise of the Women's March from a year ago today. Apparently someone spotted someone carrying a sign saying, "I'd call Donald Trump a ***** but he doesn't have the depth or warmth." When something is true, does it still qualify as a joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 17 hours ago, Maple Leaf said: When something is true, does it still qualify as a joke? case in point hibs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 A little Irishman gets into a lift, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown" The little Irishman faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him... The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me... I'm 7 ft tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each... and my name is Turner Brown." The Irishman says: "Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus.........I thought you said,"Turn around!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robroy1874 Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 On 1/13/2018 at 21:27, Maple Leaf said: Have you ever wondered why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets? can' help myself chuckle at that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number28 Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 A blind man and his dog were taking a flight for the first time. The pilot told him to put on a parachute in case of an emergency. "Unfortunately we don't have one for the dog" said the Pilot. The pilot told the man to remember to bend his knees to cushion his fall, just before reaching the ground. "I'm blind" said the man. "How will I know when I'm near to the ground?" "The dog leash will go slack" said the pilot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdust Caesar Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 I went to a fancy dress party last night. Host : What have you come as ? Me : A harp Host : Your outfit looks too small to be a harp Me : Are you calling me a lyre ? Q. What's the temperature in Motown? A. Three Degrees, Four Tops. I went to the optician's yesterday and told them that I could see 2 years into the future. They told me I had 2020 vision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 28 minutes ago, Sawdust Caesar said: I went to a fancy dress party last night. Host : What have you come as ? Me : A harp Host : Your outfit looks too small to be a harp Me : Are you calling me a lyre ? Q. What's the temperature in Motown? A. Three Degrees, Four Tops. I went to the optician's yesterday and told them that I could see 2 years into the future. They told me I had 2020 vision. Excellent!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Of The Cat Cafe Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Then there was the zoo keeper had mad passionate sex with a chimpanzee and an orangutan. Classic case of a ménagerie a trois. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Three of us went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a giant sandwich. We managed to make it home in one piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollo Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Guy with no arms and no legs at a bus stop Bus arrives and the driver says "Hi John, how you getting on?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Stolen from Twitter: Me: Can I make a deposit? Teller: Me: I just want to put some money into my account Teller: Penn: Maybe you should try going to a bank (I'm making the assumption that comedy duo Penn and Teller have a following across the pond enough to make this funny. If this is another one lost in translation, apologies.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyinthat Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Coach carrying a dozen priests goes through the guard barrier on the mountain road killing all on board At the Pearly Gates St Peter say's any of you guilty of being paedophiles can get down to Hell Eleven of the priests walk to Elevator to go down and St Peter say's and take the deaf ******* with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kila Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 My doctor entered the room. "I'm not quite sure how to say this" he said, in a sombre tone. "Oh my god" I sighed. "It's not my fault the word is so long! " he snapped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboy1982 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 My mate invited me to a burns night last week at the local Chinese restaurant. It was a Chinese burns night. I didn’t want to go but he twisted my arm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death.ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral..._________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Another lawyer one I saw years and years ago. ATTORNEY: But isn't it true, sir, that you were not an innocent bystander? You too were shot in the fracas? WITNESS: No, sir, I was shot midway between the navel and the fracas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair." MORAL of the story: Women are evil. Don't mess with them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? ' 'Is your daddy home?' he asked. ' Yes ,' whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?' The child whispered, ' No .' Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes ' 'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No ' Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?' ' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . ' Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?' ' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child. 'Busy doing what?' ' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer. Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?' ' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice. 'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter ' Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?' Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... ' ME ....' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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