Say What Again Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles. One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?' Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.' After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?' Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap... How about yourself?' The next thing i heard him say was ...... 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some ^^^^ in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Paddy walks into his GP suurgery and punches a Doctor. ''You ****ing B*stard', Paddy says, 'You told my wife she has a nice f*nny'. 'No', Says the GP, 'I told her she's got acute angina'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. One says to the other, ''It's gonna be a busy night, I can smell ****** in the air'' To which the other replies, ''Sorry that was me, I just burped.'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaap's Sigh Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Michael Jackson is to buy a new theme park after selling Neverland. It's called Dinosaur World and every child is gauranteed to leave with a Megasorearse!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaap's Sigh Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. One says to the other, ''It's gonna be a busy night, I can smell ****** in the air'' To which the other replies, ''Sorry that was me, I just burped.'' That's a classic. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Dyslexic skier is going down the ski slope, when he gets all confused and stops at what he thinks is a ski instructor. 'Excuse me mate, I'm really badly dyslexic, can you help me out. When I'm going down the hill, do I zag zig, or do I zig zag' 'Feck knows mate, I'm not a ski instructor, I'm a tobogganist' Said the guy. 'In that case, can I have 40 Benson and Hedges please'. I love that joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 A wife moans to her husband one night, ''Do you know a bull can manage sex 365 days a year?'' ''Yes.'' says the Husband, ''But it doesn't have to ride the same cow every day.'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 There's a chicken and an egg in bed... the chicken lights a cigarette, has a puff and says "well that answers that question" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I went to one of those gadget shops earlier today and I bought one of them wind-up radios. I got it home and switched it on and it said "Your dick's tiny, your kids are ugly and your wife's shagging your best mate". ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a Mexican who can swim? A Texan. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaap's Sigh Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Man and wife find a hedgehog almost dead by the side of the road. Man says "Put it in between your legs for heat". Wife says "But it's all wet and stinkin" Man replies "That's ok. Just hold it's nose" I'll get my coat Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Go here http://www.imdb.com (It's the internet movie database for those of you that dont know about it) Do a search for the term "w**ker" (insert "an" instead of asterisks) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaap's Sigh Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 The Jamacan world champion boxer has made an amazing comeback after losing the lower part of both his legs in a car accident. So far he's won 7 fights without d'feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 A woman brings eight year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight year old daughter. Johnny's mother says: "Let's not be too harsh on them. They are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?!" Replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her ****ing appendix out We call our grandad "Spiderman". He hasn't got any super powers - he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Whats the first sign of madness? Suggs walking up your driveway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyonjambo Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Go here http://www.imdb.com (It's the internet movie database for those of you that dont know about it) Do a search for the term "w**ker" (insert "an" instead of asterisks) hahaha thats class! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marmeladent?rtchen Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 The Sack An office manager had money problems and had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work. The next morning, both employees came to work very early. So the manager thought he would fire the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he'd wait to see who would leave work the earliest, but both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the manager went up to her and said, "Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off." Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Dyslexic skier is going down the ski slope, when he gets all confused and stops at what he thinks is a ski instructor. 'Excuse me mate, I'm really badly dyslexic, can you help me out. When I'm going down the hill, do I zag zig, or do I zig zag' 'Feck knows mate, I'm not a ski instructor, I'm a tobogganist' Said the guy. 'In that case, can I have 40 Benson and Hedges please'. I love that joke. not heard that one before! Class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marmeladent?rtchen Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so." Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. The pilot replied, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboSean Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 .. :. .:. :.. ::. ..: :: .:. :. .: ..: :.: .:. :.. ..: :.. . :. :.. :. ::. .: :: .:. :.. :. :. :.: .. :. Lots of love, Stevie Wonder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazo Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 q:why do woman wear knickers a: health and safety states all manholes must be covered when not in use a man was driving down the street when he passed a woman coming the other way he shouts COW she replys KNOBHEAD. 100 metre down the road she hits a cow and dies. Just goes to prove WOMAN NEVER LISTEN A blonde gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy on the field stood by himself while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him "You ok?" she says. "Yes" he says "You can play with the other kids ya know" "Its best i stay here" he says "Why" says the blonde. The boy says "Because im the bloody goalie" Boy says 2 mum i have the biggest ****** at nursery, is it coz im a Northerner? No she replies its coz you are 47 and a ******! Now watch you dont get spaghetti hoops down your Man Utd Shirt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorgie twins Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 In 2009 the goverment will start killing all mentally challenged people. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little ****** run. Two qay men in an alley when a policeman shone his torch. One of them ran off, but the policeman grabbed the other "you dirty barsteward if I'd caught your mate this truncheon would've gone right up his feckin erse!! Then this voice came from down the alley and shouted "yoo-hoo I'm in the bin!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beardbeer Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 i was sitting in the house watching telly and the doorbell rang, when i answered it there were two woman there and they asked me what bread i liked. I said i like white bread and lots of it. They weren't too happy and told me i was wrong and i should be eating wholemeal bread. They went on and on about the brown bread and i started to get annoyed, i finally snapped and shouted WHO THE F@*k are you ? They said they were HOVIS WITNESS'S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 what coffee does the UN drink? Kofi Annan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Dave the Hen Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe.'Who the hell are you?' demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in m bedroom?' The mysterious man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.' Dave was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to send me back straight away.' St Peter replied 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.' Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from hishouse,he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?' 'It's not so bad' replies Dave, but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode.'You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've neverlaid an egg before?''Nev er!' replies Dave. Well just relax and let it happen' So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness wasoverwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... 'Dave, wake up you drunken b*****d, you've sh * t the bed.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookieboy Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Hibernian FC have introduced random dope testing all the first team squad passed:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor.Arturo Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 Two Iraqis on a street corner in Bahgdad, one gets out a small photo book and shows it to the other, "see the first picture? thats my son, he's a martyr". "oh thats nice says his friend", "and the next one, thats my other son, he's a martyr as well", his friend looks at the picture and says, "its such a shame you know, they blow up so quickly nowadays" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 what coffee does the UN drink? Kofi Annan I was in one of the UN building in NYC a few weeks ago and was offered coffee. None of them got the "I'll have a Coffee Annan" gag. Rest of the meeting went well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11_2NL Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Why was Lt Uhura crying? Cos William Shatner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Paddy walks past a shop & sees a sign - 'W@nks 50p. Pies ?1.00' He can't believe his luck as he walks into the shop. There is a gorgeous blonde behind the counter. "Are you the one that does the w@nks"? "Yes" she replies, "Can I be of service to you" "Aye" says Paddy, "Wash yer ****ing hands & get me a pie" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Why was Lt Uhura crying? Cos William Shatner Finally - a politically acceptable version of that gag. Love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Doog Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation. "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." "Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo 71 Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 The local football team were having a dreadful season. They hadn't won a game for 12 weeks and the manager was at the end of his tether. "Look," suggested a friend one evening, "why don't you take the whole squad out for a ten mile run every day?" "What good will that do?" moaned the manager. "Well," replied his friend, "today's Sunday. By next Saturday they'll be 60 miles away and you won't have to worry about them." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamborich Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Three couples sitting at the breakfast table in Blackpool guest house. The English guy turns to his wife "pass the sugar sugar" The American Guy turns to his wife "pass the honey honey" The guy from Glasgow thinks **** i better join in turns to his wife and says " pass the milk ya cow" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Shin Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 A wee boy asks his Gran, Who's Babysitting for him, "What's it called when your in bed and someone is Lying on top of you??" His Gran decides, Right, he's 8yrs old I'll tell him the truth... "It's called Sexual Intercourse..."She says "Oh, Right" says the wee boy who runs outside to play... 30mins Later the Boy comes in and says Gran..."It's No sexual intercourse, It's Bunk beds...And Billy Thompsons Dad wants a Fecken Word with you!!" .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ........ A wee boy and his dad are in the park, and as they are taking a walk the boy spots some condoms on the ground. He asks his dad, what are those? Dad responds emmmm they're biscuits, but whatever you do, don't eat them, they're bad for you. Next day the boy comes home from the park, his dad asks him, you didn't eat any of those biscuits did u? Boy responds na, I just ate the cream out the middle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leebo Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Dave the Hen Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe.'Who the hell are you?' demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in m bedroom?' The mysterious man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.' Dave was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got to send me back straight away.' St Peter replied 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.' Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from hishouse,he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?' 'It's not so bad' replies Dave, but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode.'You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've neverlaid an egg before?''Nev er!' replies Dave. Well just relax and let it happen' So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness wasoverwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... 'Dave, wake up you drunken b*****d, you've sh * t the bed.' :laugh: :laugh: That is BRILLIANT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 My daughter turned twelve today. Earlier on she took me to one side and said "Dad, don't worry, I won't have sex for another four years". She gets more like her mum every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tynie b Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Shannon Mathews Mother is being quized by Police... Nothing to do with her daughters disappearance....They're Just wondering HOW she got 5 different guys tae shag her!! To Soon?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuffKirkMacKenzie Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Guy comes hame from the golf. 'Thats it, I'm never playing again, I lost 20 balls'. Wife says, 'but youre a good golfer, been playing for 40 years'. Guy says 'I know, but I canny see the ball, I'm half blind'. Wife says,'Take my brother wi yi, hes maybe 97 but has great eyesight'. So he takes his brother in law with him. Hits the first ball for miles and says'did you see that'. Brother in law says 'I seen it nae bother, perfect eyesight'. Golfer says ' great, where is it'. Guy says 'Ah canny remember'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Shannon Mathews Mother is being quized by Police...Nothing to do with her daughters disappearance....They're Just wondering HOW she got 5 different guys tae shag her!! To Soon?? And some more than once Not too soon, no. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 9, 2008 Author Share Posted April 9, 2008 An Indian tracker is taking some pioneers through the plains in the mid-1800's. Suddenly he stops and points. "Bear have babies." He says. One of the younger pioneers runs up and asks, "How'd you know that!?." "I know these things," replied the Indian. They continue their journey, and a little while later the Indian stops, points, and says, "deer tracks." "How'd you know that!?" asks the young pioneer once again. "I know these things." After another hour of journeying, the Indian jumps of his horse and puts his ear to the ground. "Buffalo come." "How'd you know that!?" "Ear wet" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 9, 2008 Author Share Posted April 9, 2008 Shannon Mathews Mother is being quized by Police...Nothing to do with her daughters disappearance....They're Just wondering HOW she got 5 different guys tae shag her!! To Soon?? I wouldn't say that Shannon Matthews' mother was ugly, but she does have to get her vibrator pi$$ed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windscreen. 'Quick, quick!' shouts Sister Catherine. 'What shall we do?' 'Turn the wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,' says Sister Helen. Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. 'What shall I do now?' she shouts. 'Switch on the screen washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican ,' says Sister Helen. Sister Catherine turns on the washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. 'Now what?' shouts Sister Catherine. 'Show him your cross,' says Sister Helen. Now you're talking,' says Sister Catherine. She opens the window and shouts, 'Get the **** off my car!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "Morning." He replied, "No, just having a sh*te" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 I was walking along the beach when I saw a small boy lying on the sand who had been stung by a jelly fish. I remembered that if you're stung by one you should to pee on it, so I whipped my **** out and started peeing on him. His parents weren't too pleased though, apparently it doesn't work when they're dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I was walking along the beach when I saw a small boy lying on the sand who had been stung by a jelly fish. I remembered that if you're stung by one you should to pee on it, so I whipped my **** out and started peeing on him. His parents weren't too pleased though, apparently it doesn't work when they're dead. Thats an absolute cracker, PMSL at that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 Barry Ferguson goes to the Doctor and complains that he gets sexually aroused when looking in the mirror. "I'm not surprised," says the Doc, "you're a f@nny" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambojohnnyboy Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tedp6873 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing!' he thought as he flew down the M1, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. 'I can get away from him - no problem!' thought the elderly gentlman as he floored it to 110mph, then120, then 130mph. Suddenly, he thought, 'What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!' So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.' The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.' 'Have a good day, Sir,' said the policeman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Elliott Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 went to the cemetry the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin, 3 hours later i saw the same 4 men with the same coffin and i thought to myself they've lost the ****ing plot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JambomanDavid Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 A young striker from Iraq has just played his first game for Celtic. When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum, to tell her about his first day in Scottish football. "Hi mum. Guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me. "Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were mugged and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time". "What can I say Mum, I'm so sorry". "Sorry! SORRY?!" says his Mum, "Its your bloody fault that we moved to Parkhead in the first place!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dodethejambo Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 The body of Mark Speight has been found. The police are looking at the bigger picture! As drawn by Amy aged 11 from Reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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