OTT Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Just had the misfortune of watching this: I genuinely don't think we've had a worse keeper. How this clown managed to make it onto Man Utd's books genuinely begs questions. You get some goalkeepers which are limited in some way - Gordon has never been a great sweeper keeper, Zander isn't the best at timing when to come out for the ball, Jamie MacDonald wasn't great at coming for high balls... but **** me, I've never saw a goalkeeper that let so many shots go through him. Christ, if you're looking at keepers, shot stopping is #1 - a keeper that can't keep the ball out of his own net is about as much use a chocolate teapot. I can still remember against Aberdeen, him lining himself up to make a holywood save at a freekick and ****ing it up. An absolutely awful, horrendous goalkeeper. 27 and we're still the only club to have been daft enough to let him make over 10 appearances. How this laddie has managed to steal a living as a professional goalkeeper genuinely beggers belief. His agent needs to take a bow, because that is genuinely working miracles. Half tempted to go get a bleach eyebath after that. Useless ****ing *****. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Probably the best kicker we've had in goals. Otherwise despair-making. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey1874 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 His best game for Hearts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rampant Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 That kit really deserved better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 PS: what a glorious Hearts strip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Chat Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 He's the main reason why we were demoted that season. Absolutely shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTT Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 1 minute ago, Le Chat said: He's the main reason why we were demoted that season. Absolutely shite. 100%, imagine being soley responsible for relegating a team that had no business even being the bottom 6 and not having the good grace to retire. Gave his defence absolutely nothing to work with and robbed the team of any confidence or momentum because he was nigh on chucking them in on a weekly basis. Could have went down to the local ****ing park and found a better keeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 3 minutes ago, Le Chat said: He's the main reason why we were demoted that season. Absolutely shite. Him and Peter Lawell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Just now, OTT said: 100%, imagine being soley responsible for relegating a team that had no business even being the bottom 6 and not having the good grace to retire. Gave his defence absolutely nothing to work with and robbed the team of any confidence or momentum because he was nigh on chucking them in on a weekly basis. Could have went down to the local ****ing park and found a better keeper. Ahem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Famous 1874 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Worst I’ve seen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTT Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 Just now, Jim_Duncan said: Ahem. You're right, demoted. Still absolutely spewing after watching that horror show. Prick couldn't even catch covid.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percival King Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 5 minutes ago, Le Chat said: He's the main reason why we were demoted that season. Absolutely shite. Yep. Seen a lot of Hearts goalies since the seventies and I can't remember one worse than him. Made me nervous when he had the ball at his feet in box and the nearest opposition player was in the centre circle......and he justified that nervousness several times. Dave Bowman was a better keeper for us......and he was a midfielder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambodougie Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Kurskis was the worst by far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim_Duncan Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 12 minutes ago, OTT said: You're right, demoted. Still absolutely spewing after watching that horror show. Prick couldn't even catch covid.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clear few Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 4 minutes ago, jambodougie said: Kurskis was the worst by far. Is the wrong answer!!! the hologram was diabolical 🤢🤦🏻♂️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Terrible goalkeeper. Mind you Zander Clark didn't cover himself in glory for our Second. Great finish by Sean Clare for our Third. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerjames398 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 The guy was like an apparition..best forgotten 😖😂🇱🇻 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 And yet that German fud stuck with him until it was way too late. An utter disaster of a combination. A dud goalie and total fraud of a manager. Pereira is undoubtedly the worat player Ive ever seen in c40 years of watching Hearts. No-one comes even a close second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kila Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 He was good at making acrobatic jumps long after the ball hit the net. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigAlim Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 It’s possible that we have had worse players who played less than a handful of games. This fella showed it over a prolonged period of time though, he seemed genuinely incapable of saving shots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Buck Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 I get quite ****ing angry thinking about him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo61 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 52 minutes ago, OTT said: Just had the misfortune of watching this: I genuinely don't think we've had a worse keeper. How this clown managed to make it onto Man Utd's books genuinely begs questions. You get some goalkeepers which are limited in some way - Gordon has never been a great sweeper keeper, Zander isn't the best at timing when to come out for the ball, Jamie MacDonald wasn't great at coming for high balls... but **** me, I've never saw a goalkeeper that let so many shots go through him. Christ, if you're looking at keepers, shot stopping is #1 - a keeper that can't keep the ball out of his own net is about as much use a chocolate teapot. I can still remember against Aberdeen, him lining himself up to make a holywood save at a freekick and ****ing it up. An absolutely awful, horrendous goalkeeper. 27 and we're still the only club to have been daft enough to let him make over 10 appearances. How this laddie has managed to steal a living as a professional goalkeeper genuinely beggers belief. His agent needs to take a bow, because that is genuinely working miracles. Half tempted to go get a bleach eyebath after that. Useless ****ing *****. Jesus will you just let us forget and get over it. Heard he was to attend a game but dropped the ticket! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTT Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 1 minute ago, Jambo61 said: Jesus will you just let us forget and get over it. Heard he was to attend a game but dropped the ticket! ruined my evening, so thought I'd share the pain! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzas right boot Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 (edited) The GK... The defending... Grim stuff Only GK I've seen that cannot make a save. Edited February 2 by Bazzas right boot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Ex-Hearts boss Daniel Stendel explains why he kept selecting Manchester United loanee Joel Pereira Former Hearts manager Daniel Stendel has revealed his thinking behind the continued selection of out-of-form goalkeeper Joel Pereira last season. The Portuguese stopper was looked as something of a signing coup when he was brought by previous boss Craig Levein in on loan from Manchester United having been once singled out for praise by Jose Mourinho during his tenure at Old Trafford. Though the 24-year-old initially looked a solid addition, his performances began to suffer with fans calling for him to be removed from the starting. He sat on the bench for Stendel’s first match in charge, a 1-0 defeat to St Johnstone, but was soon brought back into the starting XI and played the next 11 games under the German before a 5-0 defeat at Celtic Park saw him dropped from the team for good. Stendel saw a lot of attributes in the custodian, currently on loan at Huddersfield Town, but feels he struggled to handle the pressure with Hearts struggling at the wrong end of the table. Stendel told The Terrace Scottish Football Podcast: "He has a lot of quality. He was comfortable with the ball at his feet, he could stand higher up on the pitch, which suited the way we wanted to play. “He had the most potential from the goalkeepers we had. He was a little bit younger than the other guys, but he had the potential. “He started well but very similar to the team: in some situations he had problems with the pressure. And he wasn’t alone in conceding those goals. “But we thought that maybe we needed more experience and he was somebody for the future, when the situation was maybe a little different.” Stendel, who left Hearts in the summer following the club’s relegation, was also asked why another goalkeeper wasn’t brought in during the January transfer window. He answered: "We thought we had good goalkeepers and at the time it wasn’t top of our list. We had some injuries and we had problems with creating chances and scoring goals, so our focus was more on that part of the squad.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzas right boot Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 23 minutes ago, been here before said: And yet that German fud stuck with him until it was way too late. An utter disaster of a combination. A dud goalie and total fraud of a manager. Pereira is undoubtedly the worat player Ive ever seen in c40 years of watching Hearts. No-one comes even a close second. Osh was close, especially as he came with a decent rep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Worse than Craig Nelson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 8 minutes ago, Bazzas right boot said: Osh was close, especially as he came with a decent rep. No he wasn't, not even in the same postcode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RudiSkacelsLeftPeg Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Deffo the worst keeper I’ve seen. He was absolutely honking. Honking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Treasurer Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, Jim_Duncan said: Him and Peter Lawell. Think Liewell was a better goalkeeper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordon simpson Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 made Zibi look like like Lev Yashin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Munro Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Disgusting footballer. As others have said, the main reason we went down. Zlamal would have seen us safe (just and he wasn't really good enough either - although he was a confidence player) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, jambodougie said: Kurskis was the worst by far. Yup totally right. Pereira made some saves in a Hearts shirt Kurskis never did. I would say Pereira was equal to Anthony Basso, who aside from a great game at Parkhead was an awful goalie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
part_time_jambo Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, OTT said: Just had the misfortune of watching this: I genuinely don't think we've had a worse keeper. How this clown managed to make it onto Man Utd's books genuinely begs questions. You get some goalkeepers which are limited in some way - Gordon has never been a great sweeper keeper, Zander isn't the best at timing when to come out for the ball, Jamie MacDonald wasn't great at coming for high balls... but **** me, I've never saw a goalkeeper that let so many shots go through him. Christ, if you're looking at keepers, shot stopping is #1 - a keeper that can't keep the ball out of his own net is about as much use a chocolate teapot. I can still remember against Aberdeen, him lining himself up to make a holywood save at a freekick and ****ing it up. An absolutely awful, horrendous goalkeeper. 27 and we're still the only club to have been daft enough to let him make over 10 appearances. How this laddie has managed to steal a living as a professional goalkeeper genuinely beggers belief. His agent needs to take a bow, because that is genuinely working miracles. Half tempted to go get a bleach eyebath after that. Useless ****ing *****. St Johnstone keeper didn't look very clever at our second goal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kila Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Zlamal played in Stendel's first game and stepped backwards into the goalposts and banged his head We had really pish keepers, but Zlamal wouldn't have been so consistently bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 minute ago, kila said: Zlamal played in Stendel's first game and stepped backwards into the goalposts and banged his head We had really pish keepers, but Zlamal wouldn't have been so consistently bad. Zlamal is a nutter no question but he's a decent goalie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxondale Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Souttar's gestures to him says it all; even they knew he was rubbish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, Rampant said: That kit really deserved better. Yeah, look how slim they all looked in it. Boyce especially (although I think he was genuinely slimmer back then) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboJoker98 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 37 minutes ago, Marvin said: Worse than Craig Nelson. Can remember all the way back to Craig Nelson era also. Pereira was indeed the worst of the lot and I include Nelson in that. Utterly dreadful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego10 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 11 minutes ago, rudi must stay said: Yup totally right. Pereira made some saves in a Hearts shirt Kurskis never did. I would say Pereira was equal to Anthony Basso, who aside from a great game at Parkhead was an awful goalie Basso looked like Lev Yashin compared to Pereira. Kurskis was worse, but barely played thankfully Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Torrance Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 He was never a keeper. Just someone who managed to get a job as a keeper. Calling him poppadom hands is an insult to poppadoms. OP should get a ban for reminding us of him. 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordiegords Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Worst keeper I’ve ever seen, truly awful, shots just seemed to go straight through him, he would also give it the acrobatics to gaslight you into thinking it was a great shot, truly awful, I remember being at that game and Anchovie (the guy that played for Zurich) had a great chance to whip in a last minute free kick, pleb put it straight out of play, awful night apart from the black strip looking good and Sean Clare’s blooter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 In years from now, when we have another terrible keeper, there will be fans who didn't live through Joel Pereira who will claim that the future keeper is worse. Pereira can't have been worse than this guy is what they will say. They will be wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilmuir Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Please don’t remind me - still recovering from the Pereira nightmare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingantti1874 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 A disgraceful imposter. One of the few players who’s never welcome backs a total ****ing fraud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 I've seen outfield players who go in goals due to injury or a red card perform better than this guy. By quite a distance. He might as well have not had any arms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stirlo Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 In fairness to Pereira, the fact that he carved out a career as a professional footballer at quite a high level should give hope to amateur players everywhere no matter their ability or lack thereof! The mind boggles when you think how much he must have earned being on Man Utd's books for so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckies1874 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 One of the worst Hearts goalkeeping displays I ever saw was also against St Johnstone. The 1994 League Cup game when we lost 2-4 to them at Tynecastle and Nicky Walker had an absolute shocker. Was also the infamous game when Tommy Harrison was subbed on and off again by Hamster coupon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Chat Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 38 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: He might as well have not had any arms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 2 hours ago, OTT said: Just had the misfortune of watching this: I genuinely don't think we've had a worse keeper. How this clown managed to make it onto Man Utd's books genuinely begs questions. You get some goalkeepers which are limited in some way - Gordon has never been a great sweeper keeper, Zander isn't the best at timing when to come out for the ball, Jamie MacDonald wasn't great at coming for high balls... but **** me, I've never saw a goalkeeper that let so many shots go through him. Christ, if you're looking at keepers, shot stopping is #1 - a keeper that can't keep the ball out of his own net is about as much use a chocolate teapot. I can still remember against Aberdeen, him lining himself up to make a holywood save at a freekick and ****ing it up. An absolutely awful, horrendous goalkeeper. 27 and we're still the only club to have been daft enough to let him make over 10 appearances. How this laddie has managed to steal a living as a professional goalkeeper genuinely beggers belief. His agent needs to take a bow, because that is genuinely working miracles. Half tempted to go get a bleach eyebath after that. Useless ****ing *****. My goodness. We had two kids in nappies that year and it was hard enough to make time for games, I had given up on trying to watch Hearts by that point. I don't think I'd ever seen that reel. "We went to Perth in desperate need for points, scored three goals, and can count ourselves lucky we escaped with a point." I can't believe that sentence is true but it is. Watching those highlights, just a shade better finishing would have had them 6-7 goals. 2 hours ago, been here before said: And yet that German fud stuck with him until it was way too late. An utter disaster of a combination. A dud goalie and total fraud of a manager. Pereira is undoubtedly the worat player Ive ever seen in c40 years of watching Hearts. No-one comes even a close second. Paul McCallum gets an honorable mention IMO but JP still clear as the worst IMO. 1 hour ago, Bazzas right boot said: Osh was close, especially as he came with a decent rep. Osh wasn't that bad of a player, he just conned us into paying him an astronomical wage. In terms of value for money he's down there with Damour but absent his wage, he was just kinda meh, not historically bad. Watching Pereira makes me think that I myself, in my fat 47 year old body, might have been able to do better out there. I don't say that lightly. I might at least try to catch balls that were lobbed softly at me, or stand in front of the goal mouth rather than carefully guarding the post from getting hit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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