chester copperpot Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 I prefer to think that she laughs at my chat and I'm shit hot in the scud Reality is probably the other way round... Mate, I often question why the **** my lassie is with me as she's great looking, nice body and an all round decent human being. Then I look at myself and realise, sometimes the good guys get the nice girl. Her eyebrows are trustworthy too. **** knows what she sees in me, but there is something (my humongous dick may be part of it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Mate, I often question why the **** my lassie is with me as she's great looking, nice body and an all round decent human being. Then I look at myself and realise, sometimes the good guys get the nice girl. Her eyebrows are trustworthy too. **** knows what she sees in me, but there is something (my humongous dick may be part of it) The dick is the clincher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Aye I remember. Well she was a nice looking guy so every cloud and all that. Oh and Bauld, I did find it funny when she borrowed my gutties to nip to the shops in the morning Gutties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Gutties Too long spent in Airdrie old chum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboz Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Purposely getting as fecked up as possible on the bevvy with the intent of writing themselves off is usually a deal breaker. But not always... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 I know the Rangers game is just about to get under way. However I have a sure fire way of picking out a girl that you should avoid at all costs. That thing is their eyebrows. If they are shaped like a chevron then best avoid as 99% sure she will be an absolute maniac. Any other features to avoid? I am sure there's some male features too but they're my female avoid tactics. 9" kitchen knife in her handbag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephane Grappelli Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Bandy legs and a hump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zico Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Any hint of stalker behaviour, putting out too early, talk of love/marriage/kids at inappropriately early moments and smelly breath/armpits/farts/f@nny/f@nny farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Purposely getting as fecked up as possible on the bevvy with the intent of writing themselves off is usually a deal breaker. But not always... ...and then leaving numerous whatsapp and voicemails......(enter der Kaiser....sigh) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Shoe size over an 8. Calf muscles like Bolt. Hands like a coal miner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Mackerel Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Owning a cat, binned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Shoe size over an 8. Calf muscles like Bolt. Hands like a coal miner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Owning a cat, binned. Binning a cat. Don't like cats me. Or feckin dogs. Untrostworthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweegy Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Gold BMW... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Binning a cat. Don't like cats me. Or feckin dogs. Untrostworthy. Untrustworthy I meant to type! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 Gold BMW... Hahaha Thought Mitchell would be all over this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Gold BMW... Gold tooth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Gold tooth. Bonnie Langford face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Bonnie Langford face. Behave Morgan.....behave!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 I am genuinely lost for words That doesnae happen too often. Deviantrazor has that affect on folk though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 <.......takes a bow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 <.......takes a bow. Good on ya mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 That doesnae happen too often. Deviantrazor has that affect on folk though. I know hence why I pointed it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armageddon Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Choker of any kind and a visible tattoo = manky as Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robroy1874 Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 adam's apple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pans Jambo Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Usually if she works in a hairdressers or a nail bar & she wears too much make-up and likes everything pink (clothes, car, soft furnishings etc) then she needs euthanised. Also, if she works in an environment where theres no men (hairdressers or kids nursery) then shes probably a fruit loop. My Mrs works in a nursery but shes 90% stable but you should hear some of the stories she tells me about the lassies (usually fat) at her work! Stay away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonesy Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 adam's apple Picky picky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Jarman Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Blue waffle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alwayssunnyingorgie Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Fake uggs Leggings Shit hair cut Visible roots Kids Can't drive Shit/no job Says she loves going out with the girls Cheap perfume From a deprived area Is shit in bed Put out on the first date Doesn't give oral Talks all the time about absolute shit Checks Facebook on a regular basis Talks about people on Facebook Can't cook Manky house Small TV No sky/Virgin Buys most of her clothes from primark Pretends to like football/gaming Smokes Shit make up Holidays at craigtara Wears jogging bottoms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Blue waffle Nah, as long as she's not got Pyorrhea and Diarrhea I'd not Wright her off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Fake uggs Leggings Shit hair cut Visible roots Kids Can't drive Shit/no job Says she loves going out with the girls Cheap perfume From a deprived area Is shit in bed Put out on the first date Doesn't give oral Talks all the time about absolute shit Checks Facebook on a regular basis Talks about people on Facebook Can't cook Manky house Small TV No sky/Virgin Buys most of her clothes from primark Pretends to like football/gaming Smokes Shit make up Holidays at craigtara Wears jogging bottoms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussAsia Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Checks your phone while you are sleeping.. One morning I woke up to a couple of messages saying 'what were you doing up at 3 in the morning'.. My reply, 'nothing I slept from about 11 til 6am.. well apparently I was on Whatsapp at 3.. bitch.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussAsia Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 The one's who are over the top crazy during their time of the month.. Honestly I don't understand it.. They get it every month.. surely they should be used to it after about the 6th time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussAsia Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Girls that ask to come on your nights out.. If I wanted you to come I'd have invited you at the outset.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Girls that ask to come on your nights out.. If I wanted you to come I'd have invited you at the outset.. This 100%. It's called a "boys" night out, you do the math Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Hairy elbows. Superfluous third nipple. Anuses for eyes. Is from Lesmahagow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Is from Lesmahagow. This one I can vouch for. I'll also add Paisley and Gallowgate to the list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo dans les Pyrenees Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Starts jokey discussion for 17th time about whether she is high or low maintenance. Gets told the truth. Can't handle the truth. (Advised in a Jack Nicholson manner) Doesn't see the funny side of the current ironic situation. Cries. Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonesy Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 This one I can vouch for. I'll also add Paisley and Gallowgate to the list. Let's add Dumbarton to that list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 "What do you mean there's no spark?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Let's add Dumbarton to that list. And Hamilton/Motherwell. I also can't remember the part of Edinburgh I was in but wherever it was she was a nutter. Avoid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonesy Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 And Hamilton/Motherwell. I also can't remember the part of Edinburgh I was in but wherever it was she was a nutter. Avoid. Essentially any bursds who hails from anywhere further west than Ratho, at this rate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 11, 2017 Author Share Posted February 11, 2017 My mate will not date a girl if she was born or raised in West Lothian. He says they're all nutters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 My mate will not date a girl if she was born or raised in West Lothian. He says they're all nutters. My daughters mum is from Kirknewton so your mate could be onto something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 My mate will not date a girl if she was born or raised in West Lothian. He says they're all nutters. What ??? My youngest daughter is one of them. Chester 1 Jonno 0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 My mate will not date a girl if she was born or raised in West Lothian. He says they're all nutters. I'm from West Lothian. I'm single. Maybe this (and me having tattoos) is the reason I'm eternally single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 I'm from West Lothian. I'm single. Maybe this (and me having tattoos) is the reason I'm eternally single. Or, you drink pints and smoke roll-ups Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjcc Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Not sure I understand what the big deal is on that one. Married with kids and very happy. If she's asking for it bare back up the dirt track on the first night then perhaps you may raise the question. What question? "When can you move in?" Perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 11, 2017 Author Share Posted February 11, 2017 Or, you drink pints and smoke roll-ups Helzivob. A bird that smokes rallies is a sure fire sign that she has been an extra on prisoner cell block H at some point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 Or, you drink pints and smoke roll-ups Lol. I do drink pints (only on match days) but I don't smoke. At least I have one good thing going for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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