Sarah O Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Has been on a date with Brick :'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mutley Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 https://youtu.be/hKWmFWRVLlU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I say pal and have tattoos. I'm Donald ducked. You have meat and two veg too :-0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 My bird has perfectly sculptured half moon shaped fellies My ex on the other hand....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Tamland Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Has been on a date with Brick :'>That would mean I could never see the same bursd twice though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 A friend of mine brought his new fiance to mine for a few days. She ended up getting leathered at a party ( i wasn't there). I get the phone call at 2am to come downstairs and help get her in the house. I go downstairs put some shoes on and shes lying in the middle of the road having a massive fit. Arms n legs everywhere. Then it got quite scary. She was convinced there were people trying to kill her, and me and my dogs. Total psychotic episode. Got her in the house and calmed her down a bit. Put kettle on. Then she starts having a conversation with an imaginary girl in the corner of the room. Asking her questions then saying out loud to us the responses. At this point i wanted her out so took her to A n E. Wasn't prepared to risk anything happening in my house. Left her n her fiance there and I finally got back to bed at half 4 in the morning. If ever there was a definition of a "wrong un", she is most definitely it!! No apology the following day, no thank you, nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroonjam Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 This thread is hilarious. For me it's as op stated. The eyebrows!! Secondly - the laugh, excessive cackles, mutley laughs, hee haws then it's fake serious injury and get out the building time. Oh and beards... or any other excessive body hair.... a women with a hairy back..... ugh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Awrite then quarter or 8th moon shaped brows. Ye Ken what I mean ya dick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Just thought of another feature. Facebook sympathy posts. I ****ing avoid those lassies like the plague Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 A girl who has been married sevral times before. Once before is perfectly reasonable - it happens (often). Two is a bit too much, anymore than that and she may as well just tattoo "pyscho" on her forehead. My ex is 38 and she is on victim # 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If she wears jogging bottoms outside the house. Totally scaffy behaviour. Hair on the nipples, even just 1 will have me fleeing the scene. Giant veins on the chebs, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paolo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If she wears jogging bottoms outside the house. Totally scaffy behaviour. Or worse. Goes to the supermarket in her pyjamas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@VladMagic Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Or worse. Goes to the supermarket in her pyjamas. See this all the time. At lunchtime! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If she wears jogging bottoms outside the house. Totally scaffy behaviour. Hair on the nipples, even just 1 will have me fleeing the scene. Giant veins on the chebs, A bursds arse looks great in jogging bottoms mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Hardcastle Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Wrist tattoos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctor jambo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Awrite then quarter or 8th moon shaped brows. Ye Ken what I mean ya dick I actually thought you were talking about her boobs.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I actually thought you were talking about her boobs.................. So did I!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I actually thought you were talking about her boobs.................. Me too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If her facebook profile only shows one eye & a duck pout It suggets she's either very vain or she's about 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If her facebook profile only shows one eye & a duck pout It suggets she's either very vain or she's about 12 And what's the downside? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamdub Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 This thread is hilarious. For me it's as op stated. The eyebrows!! Secondly - the laugh, excessive cackles, mutley laughs, hee haws then it's fake serious injury and get out the building time. Oh and beards... or any other excessive body hair.... a women with a hairy back..... ugh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pans Jambo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Tries to stick her finger up your arse without so much as a By your leave HAHA I remember being on the receiving end of that very scenario about 20 years ago. Put me right off her. So we eventually got divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masonic Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 if they have lots of "best mates" that are dudes if they lie without good reason if they go all the way first night if they dont appreciate the bankroll if they support h1b5 if they go out drinking on a regular if they talk about ex's unless asked about it if they dont cook or clean if they refuse to chip in if they wear orange make up if they dont put you first etc i have hundreds more but i gotta work tonight so il dive off now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 if they have lots of "best mates" that are dudes if they lie without good reason if they go all the way first night if they dont appreciate the bankroll if they support h1b5 if they go out drinking on a regular if they talk about ex's unless asked about it if they dont cook or clean if they refuse to chip in if they wear orange make up if they dont put you first etc i have hundreds more but i gotta work tonight so il dive off now Sounds like a keeper to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masonic Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Sounds like a keeper to me for about a fortnight bro maybe lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Sounds like a keeper to me Not sure I understand what the big deal is on that one. Married with kids and very happy. If she's asking for it bare back up the dirt track on the first night then perhaps you may raise the question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoltan socrates Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Is called Marilyn Clark According to some edinburgh bus shelters shed take it at the tradesmans entrance iirc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Not sure I understand what the big deal is on that one. Married with kids and very happy. If she's asking for it bare back up the dirt track on the first night then perhaps you may raise the question. I remember I met a bird off POF when I was single and remember we had some good chat and I was expecting to get some sort of action on the first date. She arrived at my flat and announced that she had front bottom issues, so was a bit disappointed until she said I could pop back doors for a bit fun. So I did, it never went past a second date though. She's definitely a first for me. 2 rides and both as a back door burglar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 East European accent FFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 My wife says pal ha ha Oh, there are of course exceptions! Backtracking rapidly here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paolo Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If they have a crew cut. If they want to meet your friends or family after only one date. If they support Celtic or Rangers (I could probably handle Hibs). If they are much taller than you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Oh, there are of course exceptions! Backtracking rapidly here. I'm not, chavvy scum. I joke of course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I'm not, chavvy scum. I joke of course Of course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Bad breath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Bad breath You've met my sister-in-law? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indianajones Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I remember I met a bird off POF when I was single and remember we had some good chat and I was expecting to get some sort of action on the first date. She arrived at my flat and announced that she had front bottom issues, so was a bit disappointed until she said I could pop back doors for a bit fun. So I did, it never went past a second date though. She's definitely a first for me. 2 rides and both as a back door burglar! How big were her hands? Did she have a pronounced Adams apple? Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 How big were her hands? Did she have a pronounced Adams apple? Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk ............wait I had never actually thought of that ffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 ............wait I had never actually thought of that ffs. Fresh out of surgery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister T Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 A friend of mine brought his new fiance to mine for a few days. She ended up getting leathered at a party ( i wasn't there). I get the phone call at 2am to come downstairs and help get her in the house. I go downstairs put some shoes on and shes lying in the middle of the road having a massive fit. Arms n legs everywhere. Then it got quite scary. She was convinced there were people trying to kill her, and me and my dogs. Total psychotic episode. Got her in the house and calmed her down a bit. Put kettle on. Then she starts having a conversation with an imaginary girl in the corner of the room. Asking her questions then saying out loud to us the responses. At this point i wanted her out so took her to A n E. Wasn't prepared to risk anything happening in my house. Left her n her fiance there and I finally got back to bed at half 4 in the morning. If ever there was a definition of a "wrong un", she is most definitely it!! No apology the following day, no thank you, nothing. Don't leave us hanging. Did they get married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 A weegie accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 The Adam's apple bit has really got to Leicester Propercock. He'll go on a bender tomorrow. He'll think of big hands whilst drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauld Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 The Adam's apple bit has really got to Leicester Propercock. He'll go on a bender tomorrow. He'll think of big hands whilst drunk. I wonder if he looked down at one point and noticed her feet were a size 12. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I wonder if he looked down at one point and noticed her feet were a size 12. Probably not. He'd have hadden his shades on. Remember last June? Leicester and white shorts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Probably not. He'd have hadden his shades on. Remember last June? Leicester and white shorts Aye I remember. Well she was a nice looking guy so every cloud and all that. Oh and Bauld, I did find it funny when she borrowed my gutties to nip to the shops in the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helzibob Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 You have meat and two veg too :-0) Not that I'm aware of. I do have a set of double d's though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Depends what she smokes. If it's the beef then it's acceptable. "Smokes the beef" slipped from my vocabulary about 35 years ago! I wonder if he looked down at one point and noticed her feet were a size 12. There are some nights when you're poking the fire, that you dont want to look at either the mantelpiece nor the hearth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 "Smokes the beef" slipped from my vocabulary about 35 years ago! There are some nights when you're poking the fire, that you dont want to look at either the mantelpiece nor the hearth. I was definitely poking the 'ring of' fire that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonesy Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 In response to the OP: Any woman that takes an interest in me is usually a sign that she should be left well alone. Kind of in a Groucho Marx/any club that would have me as a member kind of way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 In response to the OP: Any woman that takes an interest in me is usually a sign that she should be left well alone. Kind of in a Groucho Marx/any club that would have me as a member kind of way. That's a fair pointHowever, is that maybe a point for you or her. I never question the fact a lass might be interested in me. I find it baffling but usually put it down to the fact my chat is shit hot and she can have a laugh at me when I am in the scud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonesy Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 That's a fair point However, is that maybe a point for you or a her. I never question the fact a lass might be interested in me. I find it baffling but usually put it down to the fact my chat is shit hot and she can have a laugh at me when I am in the scud. I prefer to think that she laughs at my chat and I'm shit hot in the scud Reality is probably the other way round... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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