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Salad Fingers

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The Pie Who Loved Me or Pie Another Day

Edited by Ryan Jarman
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?On her majesty's secret pie   ?

 

 

 

 

Seriously though, funny thread. Is it common for folk to be texting back and forth to strangers as a way of getting a date/finding a relationship? If so, Jesus.. the world has passed me by.

Edited by Dia Liom
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Maroon Sailor

The Pie Who Loved Me or Pie Another Day

In Salad's case it's more like Tomorrow Never Pies

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Looks like she is The pie who came in from the cold

No, she's just a cold pie.

 

Mainly because she's so old.

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Give her a treat: Goldfingered.

 

Or dumped: Piefall

 

When the pie falls,

It will crumble,

We will stand taaaall,

And eat it all together...

 

I'll get me coat.

 

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Give her a treat: Goldfingered.

Or dumped: Piefall

When the pie falls,

It will crumble,

We will stand taaaall,

And eat it all together...

I'll get me coat.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

Can I help you put the coat on?

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chester copperpot

These threads start off great then get spoiled by the shitest of shite puns ever.

 

Its not even remotely funny or witty.

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Maroon Sailor

These threads start off great then get spoiled by the shitest of shite puns ever.

Its not even remotely funny or witty.

I think she has frightened The Living Daylights out of Salad

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These threads start off great then get spoiled by the shitest of shite puns ever.

 

Its not even remotely funny or witty.

Aye.

 

People who post ones that have been said already are the worst...

 

 

Gashino Royale

...

 

Gashino Royale.

 

[emoji85]

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Salad - how'd the date go last night? Or are we onto the mod girly?

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More importantly, what sauce would you put on a steak pie?

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Man milk?
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Salad Fingers

Salad - how'd the date go last night? Or are we onto the mod girly?

It was pretty good. Nice lass. Meeting her again tomorrow night to go to the pub and then back to hers "but nothings happening" as she said :rofl: Got to be up and out early as well on Saturday as I have VIP tickets for the Pipe Band Championships and I don't want to miss out on the free breakfast rolls. I really hope I don't wake up tied to the bed cos that would just be.......awful. Don't want to seem like a misery guts so it's fair to say I'll be hanging on Saturday.

 

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It was pretty good. Nice lass. Meeting her again tomorrow night to go to the pub and then back to hers "but nothings happening" as she said :rofl: Got to be up and out early as well on Saturday as I have VIP tickets for the Pipe Band Championships and I don't want to miss out on the free breakfast rolls. I really hope I don't wake up tied to the bed cos that would just be.......awful. Don't want to seem like a misery guts so it's fair to say I'll be hanging on Saturday.

 

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" Back to hers, but nothing's happening."

 

She wouldn't be inviting you back then.

 

Someone's having his bagpipe squeezed early tomorrow.

 

:jjyay:

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Need some advice lads and lassies.

Been single for about a year now. Between having the kids every Friday and every second Friday/Saturday I have found it difficult to get out there and meet a woman. Anyway I thought I would give online dating a try (nothing fancy, I'm not paying for it yet).

Anyway after about a month of talking to some nice and some not so nice girls one in particular messaged me. She was pretty much bang on, nice girl, nice photo, great patter and banter. Anyway what worried me was that she only had one picture. So we continued to chat and I gave her my number. Everything was going well, a little too well and she sent me another picture of her at a party. However it was a screen shot from Facebook and I seen the date at the top, 2011. Continued to chat in the hope that she still resembled that. Then she hit me with he picture from last week of her on holiday, of her and her dad. Now I could have sworn she sent me a picture of her parents. She looked terrible, nothing compared to her profile picture.

the problem is now that I don't fancy her. However she has cracking patter and the chat between us is top notch. I'm not the kind of guy to go for a girl based on looks alone but this is taking the piss. I also am not an oil painting myself but I'm still fairly young and I would say handsome enough (just) to do a lot better.

Now my question is how to I let her down gently cos I now don't want to meet her.

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Mate, I did a power of this and I met the wife through this method.

 

Early days on t'net I was getting some right munters turning up for dates and such like... Nothing like their photos at all. But I got out of things if I didn't fancy the lady in question by saying I had a busy life with my kids and my ex was proving difficult and that would put them off - although I did bobby quote a few though regardless of looks I am ashamed to say.

 

If you like someone then get on their FB straight away - I set up an account just to allow me to view etc.... Soon sorted out the fatties from the fabbies If you know what I mean ( there is a lot of over weight ladies on the online dating scene for obvious reasons). I should know I married one..........

 

Just be honest to a point..... Just say your only interested in some online banter but not really wanting much else. Lame but it means that if she sees you logged on after you have let her down gently then at least she will know why....

Edited by PTBCAL
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Riddley Walker

Perv.

 

:whistling:

Got to build up my wank bank somewhere mate. I'm not gonna turn my nose up at a good ol' fashioned bog text.

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It was pretty good. Nice lass. Meeting her again tomorrow night to go to the pub and then back to hers "but nothings happening" as she said :rofl: Got to be up and out early as well on Saturday as I have VIP tickets for the Pipe Band Championships and I don't want to miss out on the free breakfast rolls. I really hope I don't wake up tied to the bed cos that would just be.......awful. Don't want to seem like a misery guts so it's fair to say I'll be hanging on Saturday.

 

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What kind of pie is she making?

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Got to build up my **** bank somewhere mate. I'm not gonna turn my nose up at a good ol' fashioned bog text.

Good and fair point. Well made.

 

I'm humbled by your honesty. :wink:

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