"Where have you been?"

[Boof]

... was the question asked of me by a bouncer at the place across from Tron Kirk last Monday night at the back of midnight.

I appreciate I've not been out and about in Edinburgh for a while...or at least not in the places that employ security staff...but I couldn't for the life of me see how the knowledge of where I'd been could determine whether or not I'd be permitted to enter.

I genuinely must have done the JJ 'What?' face as I found the question so bizarre.

I had to ask him to repeat the question, then I had to ask how far back in the evening he wanted me to go.

He just repeated the question so I figured I could start from the Wellington International Ukelele Orchestra at 6pm. That seemed to be sufficient for him and I was granted access but the incident did perplex me at the time.

Is it just a means of initiating conversation so they can tell if you're a slobbering wreck?

[Gavsy Van Gaverson]

You sound like trouble to me

[moogsy]

It's just a stock question so they can work out if you're pished or not, they're not genuinely interested in where you've been.......I hope

[Tommy Wiseau]

They're finding out if you can get the words out without dribbling.

 

Once got asked at Sneaky Pete's with my mate at about 11pm. We had sat in the pub and had one pint before we came out watching a match, a couple of hours previously. The boy looks at us and tells my mate he's too pished to come in The boy was alright to drive, never mind booze in a Cowgate club

[SUTOL]

Probably used to be a hairdresser and was just the late summer version of the standard hairdresser conversation, "where are going (on holiday)?"

[The Real Maroonblood]

 

... was the question asked of me by a bouncer at the place across from Tron Kirk last Monday night at the back of midnight.

I appreciate I've not been out and about in Edinburgh for a while...or at least not in the places that employ security staff...but I couldn't for the life of me see how the knowledge of where I'd been could determine whether or not I'd be permitted to enter.

I genuinely must have done the JJ 'What?' face as I found the question so bizarre.

I had to ask him to repeat the question, then I had to ask how far back in the evening he wanted me to go.

He just repeated the question so I figured I could start from the Wellington International Ukelele Orchestra at 6pm. That seemed to be sufficient for him and I was granted access but the incident did perplex me at the time.

Is it just a means of initiating conversation so they can tell if you're a slobbering wreck?

Imagine if he said 'Do you come here often?'

[Guest C00l K1d]

I'm not gonna say i hate all bouncers, but the majority of them are complete arseholes.

 

I mind i tried to have a wee bit of a laugh with a bouncer outside the globe.. it was absolutely pishing it down and all i said was (after just being allowed in) ''you need to get yourself a wee brolly for standing out here all night''

 

Hand straight across my chest, ''no the night pal'' *****

[Boof]

It's just a stock question so they can work out if you're pished or not, they're not genuinely interested in where you've been.......I hope

 

That's what I reckoned - much afterwards.

 

I just found myself so taken aback by the (to me) unexpected question.

 

Obviously I need to get out more

[Gizmo]

Bouncers (NSFW very sweary)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiVlyAfTnw

[Ray Gin]

... was the question asked of me by a bouncer at the place across from Tron Kirk last Monday night at the back of midnight.

I appreciate I've not been out and about in Edinburgh for a while...or at least not in the places that employ security staff...but I couldn't for the life of me see how the knowledge of where I'd been could determine whether or not I'd be permitted to enter.

I genuinely must have done the JJ 'What?' face as I found the question so bizarre.

I had to ask him to repeat the question, then I had to ask how far back in the evening he wanted me to go.

He just repeated the question so I figured I could start from the Wellington International Ukelele Orchestra at 6pm. That seemed to be sufficient for him and I was granted access but the incident did perplex me at the time.

Is it just a means of initiating conversation so they can tell if you're a slobbering wreck?

 

Quick check to see if you were the desirable sort of clientele.

 

If you said you'd been getting pished at Diane's pool hall before shots at Espionage this would set off alarm bells.

[GlasgoJambo]

As mentioned above it's the stock question bouncers ask to see if you're compus mentis. They get told it at bouncer school as the sort of thing you could ask but unfortunately many door staff don't have the initiative to think up something else. Used to do my head in when my door staff would just repeat it verbatim to every punter particularly when you could tell they weren't going to be any trouble. However good the club may be, have a great atmosphere, good drinks, great music, an arsey door man is what irritates folk more than anything else.

That said, it's a shanner of a job so they deserve some credit.

[moshy]

where have you been tonight? shagging your wife mate. not going to let you in anyway

 

 

[Boof]

They get told it at bouncer school as the sort of thing you could ask but unfortunately many door staff don't have the initiative to think up something else.

 

That was the thing that got me. I wasn't pished (maybe looked a bit undesirable what with my cargo shorts an' all) but when I asked him to specify a time frame all he came back with was an exact repeat of the question.

 

Not criticising him (at least if it sounds like I am, I don't intend to) but surely there must be a better way of determining entry-viability? It's not as if the place was busy and I was on my own. Just caught a quick glimpse of a singer and wanted to pop in for a wee listen.

 

Anyway - no harm done and I'll be better prepared next time

[Markie]

 

Imagine if he said 'Do you come here often?'

Worlds best hat up line

[Marty McFly]

Tried to get into Bar Salsa last night, only for the bouncer to ask me where i had been earlier, told him id been in the chater to which he replied, try somewhere else. I asked why and he said that i had had too much to drink, had one drank one pint of strongbow....... The boy made it out to be an effort to even breathe words to me, letting out a big sigh as he spoke. 95% of Edinburgh bouncers are complete helmets who abuse their power!

[Say What Again]

Once got asked at Sneaky Pete's with my mate at about 11pm. We had sat in the pub and had one pint before we came out watching a match, a couple of hours previously. The boy looks at us and tells my mate he's too pished to come in The boy was alright to drive, never mind booze in a Cowgate club

 

Tried to get into Bar Salsa last night, only for the bouncer to ask me where i had been earlier, told him id been in the chater to which he replied, try somewhere else. I asked why and he said that i had had too much to drink, had one drank one pint of strongbow....... The boy made it out to be an effort to even breathe words to me, letting out a big sigh as he spoke. 95% of Edinburgh bouncers are complete helmets who abuse their power!

 

I tried to get into the pub in the Cowgate right next door to Sneaky Pete's. My mate was out with his mum and his auntie for his mum's birthday and they'd been for a meal in the Grassmarket. I was working until 9pm on George IV bridge so walked down and met them at the bottom of Victoria Street. As we walked into the boozer the bouncer stopped me and asked me where I'd been. I told him I'd just finished work 10 minutes before. He informed me I'd had too much to drink and I wasn't getting in.

 

Arsehole.

 

It wasn't even the weekend, it was a random school night.

[Das Root]

I tried to get into the pub in the Cowgate right next door to Sneaky Pete's. My mate was out with his mum and his auntie for his mum's birthday and they'd been for a meal in the Grassmarket. I was working until 9pm on George IV bridge so walked down and met them at the bottom of Victoria Street. As we walked into the boozer the bouncer stopped me and asked me where I'd been. I told him I'd just finished work 10 minutes before. He informed me I'd had too much to drink and I wasn't getting in.

 

Arsehole.

 

It wasn't even the weekend, it was a random school night.

 

 

 

There's your real problem. You weren't old enough.

[Guest C00l K1d]

You've had to much is also code for "you look like a scaff"

 

 

:P

[tian447]

Went out in Edinburgh one night with a pal, must have been just after 11. I'd just finished work at 10, and had gone home and got showered and changed.

 

Boy outside one of the pubs in the Grassmarket asked me where I'd been, so I told him "I've just finished a 12 hour shift at work, I've literally just left the flat 10 minutes ago". Out comes the "No the night, find somewhere else" chat.

 

What the **** was that all about? I'm still absolutely raging at that one.

 

[Private Womble]

I got barred from Whistlebinkies for telling the two doormen they looked like the Mitchell brothers off Eastenders.

[BoJack Horseman]

You've had to much is also code for "you look like a scaff"

 

 

:P

 

This is pretty much it. If you're clearly sober and they say that, they just don't want you in the place.

 

 

I tried to go into the City Cafe the other month, had never been before. Bouncer stops me on the way in with a "No, chance, I know who you are". I asked him how he knew who I was and he said he worked over the road as well (at Cabaret Voltaire), so I asked him again, and he says "Listen, I know who you are, Tom, and you're not getting in." My name's not Tom, and I told him as much, showed him my ID. Wouldn't believe it was my ID (I was 17 and beardless in the picture). Showed him my staff ID with the same name and with beard. Finally admitted that he probably had the wrong guy, but wasn't going to let me in anyway. No reason, just because he figured me for someone else.

 

Bouncers are arseholes. Thankfully I don't have much bother with them because I don't look like a scaff, and don't slaver when I'm steamin. But any encounter I do have with them is never pleasant. I've learnt not to kick up a fuss if they don't let you in, chances are you won't change their mind. Story up there was an exception as it was quite a unique reason.

[HMFC-TILL-I-DIE]

Ummmmm now might not be a good time to tell yous what i do for a living then lol

[The People's Chimp]

... was the question asked of me by a bouncer at the place across from Tron Kirk last Monday night at the back of midnight.

I appreciate I've not been out and about in Edinburgh for a while...or at least not in the places that employ security staff...but I couldn't for the life of me see how the knowledge of where I'd been could determine whether or not I'd be permitted to enter.

I genuinely must have done the JJ 'What?' face as I found the question so bizarre.

I had to ask him to repeat the question, then I had to ask how far back in the evening he wanted me to go.

He just repeated the question so I figured I could start from the Wellington International Ukelele Orchestra at 6pm. That seemed to be sufficient for him and I was granted access but the incident did perplex me at the time.

Is it just a means of initiating conversation so they can tell if you're a slobbering wreck?

 

Exactly. Two fold - lets them work out whether you've been to/hang out in Dive bars frequented by reprobates, and more importantly lets them suss out whether you're reeking or not.

[Say What Again]

You've had to much is also code for "you look like a scaff"

 

 

:P

 

I could see that being the case if i was trying to get into the Balmoral, or maybe even the likes of Tigerlilly or Candy Bar. But the boozer next to Sneaky Pete's on the Cowgate? It was a hole

[BoJack Horseman]

I could see that being the case if i was trying to get into the Balmoral, or maybe even the likes of Tigerlilly or Candy Bar. But the boozer next to Sneaky Pete's on the Cowgate? It was a hole

 

That would be Opium. Quite a rocky place. Probably won't let you in if you don't fit the look.

[Guest]

Tried to get into Bar Salsa last night, only for the bouncer to ask me where i had been earlier, told him id been in the chater to which he replied, try somewhere else. I asked why and he said that i had had too much to drink, had one drank one pint of strongbow....... The boy made it out to be an effort to even breathe words to me, letting out a big sigh as he spoke. 95% of Edinburgh bouncers are complete helmets who abuse their power!

Try 100%. Its a pleasure going out in places like Newcastle where the bouncers actually welcome you in. Its a wonder any bugger ever gets into an Edinburgh joint. As for this "where have you been" crap, I'm going to write it down the next time and hand it to them.

[Brandt]

Bouncers have to be more careful now with their licensing. Would never want to do their job, like.

[Guest C00l K1d]

I could see that being the case if i was trying to get into the Balmoral, or maybe even the likes of Tigerlilly or Candy Bar. But the boozer next to Sneaky Pete's on the Cowgate? It was a hole

I was only winding you up.

 

Mind what Roger says is right, if you don't suit the look of the place you're no getting in. Gucci shoes or no.

 

I've actually heard stories of the opium bouncers and they're just like their punters. A bit 'goth snob'

[neave]

All bouncers are *****. Most people who go to clubs/pubs with bouncers are *****. All clubs/most pubs with bouncers are shite.

 

**** having my Saturday night dictated by some knobend with an earpiece who was bullied at school.

[GlasgoJambo]

I got turfed out of Po Na Na one night many years ago for - as much as I could ascertain - having a Scottish accent.

 

Roger gives good advice - rarely any point in arguing.

[Say What Again]

I was only winding you up.

 

Mind what Roger says is right, if you don't suit the look of the place you're no getting in. Gucci shoes or no.

 

I've actually heard stories of the opium bouncers and they're just like their punters. A bit 'goth snob'

 

I knew you were, bud. I hoped the smiley at the end of my post would convey that.

 

Couldn't have been the dress code either. Well, certainly not because I wasn't 'rock' enough. My mate and his family had been for a meal so were quite smart. I'd came from work so would have had trainers, jeans and a polo shirt, with a jacket. I must have looked way more grungy than them.

[Locky]

Me and couple of mates were trying to get into Harry's at Randolph Place a while back (Please, I know its a dive but a considerably older workmate was meeting some bird off the internet). Bouncer asked where we'd been and I thought I could talk him round. He said go and get a coffee and come back.

 

We went to Mathers in Queensferry Street for more pints and shots, came back even more pished and got let in nae bother.

[Guest C00l K1d]

Me and couple of mates were trying to get into Harry's at Randolph Place a while back (Please, I know its a dive but a considerably older workmate was meeting some bird off the internet). Bouncer asked where we'd been and I thought I could talk him round. He said go and get a coffee and come back.

 

We went to Mathers in Queensferry Street for more pints and shots, came back even more pished and got let in nae bother.

Sometimes i don't know what goes through a bouncers head.

 

''Go for a coffee and come back'' Wtf

[The Rev]

Sometimes i don't know what goes through a bouncers head.

 

''Go for a coffee and come back'' Wtf

 

Happened to me before.

 

Went for a few pints elsewhere, went back and got in nae bother.

[Heres Rixxy]

A bouncer once told me I was only getting in if I ate a hot dog. An hour later I spilled (dropped) my drink.

 

Bouncer: "have you had a hot dog?"

Me: "No, I don't like hog dogs"

 

Got horsed oot.

[Heres Rixxy]

Double post

[mullen13]

The prick of a bouncer at whynot used to just take a look at me and just open the barrier and chuck me out without explanation for years. After asking why pretty much every time he once replied in a shan accent "When you learn some respect, you come back" He has blatantly got me mixed up with some other lad. Did me a favour though, I geniinely despise that place and the toffs in it. I would smile if he were to fall into a giant blender though.

 

It's that fecking arrogant look that some of them give you that annoys me.Especially after "not tonight pal" (no explanation)

 

I remember after the Man U Barca champions league final me and my mates tried about a dozen places and got KBd from every one. Apparently unite decided to tell every bouncer in Edinburgh not to let any groups of 3 or more lads in anywhere. Fecking curfew or what.

 

Once got chucked out of the back door of maddogs after DEREK RIORDAN and his eegit pals started on me and stole our drinks. Shambles.

[Guest C00l K1d]

Ummmmm now might not be a good time to tell yous what i do for a living then lol

Genuine question, do you ever just be a dick to people, for no reason?

[andy-y]

Ummmmm now might not be a good time to tell yous what i do for a living then lol

 

Yeah me too. Although its not really a living.

[Tommy Wiseau]

Just remembered that my story above didn't end there. We tried another 5 places over the night and in 3 of them time the chat was the same: "you're fine mate, but your pal has had too much, no the night". I thought they were just radioing around warning other bouncers, or would have had we not got in some places, until we got to the C Venue and the boy said "your pal looks like he's had a bit much - make sure you get him a water when you go in". Can't stress enough that my mate had had 3 pints by this point

[The Great Khali]

See when I've been denyed entry to an establishment, no matter where it is, I like many others, always give it the "didne want to come into your shitey place anyway"

 

Every time. But they know its a lie. I do want to go in. I always want to

[Chewie]

Few weeks ago some boy told me and my 4 friends that they had a "no groups" policy. I politely enquired as to whether I should just come to the pub on my own in future, and whether the group of 4 middle aged women sitting out front were a group. The guy just repeated "no groups" again. Bloody simpleton.

 

 

No ******* groups. Deary me

[BoJack Horseman]

Few weeks ago some boy told me and my 4 friends that they had a "no groups" policy. I politely enquired as to whether I should just come to the pub on my own in future, and whether the group of 4 middle aged women sitting out front were a group. The guy just repeated "no groups" again. Bloody simpleton.

 

 

No ******* groups. Deary me

 

So you genuinely think he wasn't letting you in because you were part of a group? These are all just excuses that can't be argued. They neither want nor have to explain themselves. There was probably 10 blokes to every 1 female and he didn't feel like letting in another bunch of males, with "no groups" being the easiest reason to deny the lot of you.

 

This thread has reminded me of the time I came on here in a rage after I was denied entry to a club because the bouncer was pumping my ex. That's another time I vehemently argued my case, which eventually spiralled into me telling him of all the things I'd done to her.

[Chewie]

So you genuinely think he wasn't letting you in because you were part of a group? These are all just excuses that can't be argued. They neither want nor have to explain themselves. There was probably 10 blokes to every 1 female and he didn't feel like letting in another bunch of males, with "no groups" being the easiest reason to deny the lot of you.

 

This thread has reminded me of the time I came on here in a rage after I was denied entry to a club because the bouncer was pumping my ex. That's another time I vehemently argued my case, which eventually spiralled into me telling him of all the things I'd done to her.

 

Of course I knew that being part of a group wasn't the reason we were denied entry. It's just I'd rather that my intelligence wasn't insulted by telling me that because we were a group, we weren't being allowed in. Additionally, because I've never been denied entry to a nightclub (as far as I can recall), I was slightly galled that I was being denied entry to a Rose St. pub due to the fact that I was with "a group". I've never really had much of a problem with bouncers, of course some are better than others, but that incident just stuck out as being particularly stupid.

[Siphiwe Tshabalala]

Edinburgh is the worst night out in Britain and that's a fact.

[Franklin Delano Bluth]

Edinburgh is the worst night out in Britain and that's a fact.

 

Try Aberdeen, Dundee is probably quite shite as well. There is a curfew in Inverness city centre as well

[Craig Gordons Gloves]

I used to be one of the bar managers in a well known Glasgow club in the mid 90s. We'll call it Archaos. While i was never a bouncer i can appreciate the complete and utter shiteness of what they had to deal with, the number of complete wankers that would start "dae ye ken whae a ahm" patter was ridiculous. My favorite was Craig Moore trying it and getting told - aye, i'm a rangers season ticker holder and you're not getting in cos you're shite".

We also used the bouncers to have some fun, with the curfew on in Glasgow, we would pick a couple of folk on a Saturday night who were just wankers, we'd watch out for them until about 12.50, then radio the bouncers to have them chucked out so by the time they were chucked out, they couldn't get in anywhere else. Was funny as they had spent a tenner to get it and then spent 3 quid a bottle on miller genuine draft (thinking they were cool) and then bang, their night out was ruined. My particular favorite was the perma tanned arsehole that we targeted because he was wearing a versace shirt with a massive peacock on it - he was nearly greeting as they escorted him out.

[Siphiwe Tshabalala]

I used to be one of the bar managers in a well known Glasgow club in the mid 90s. We'll call it Archaos. While i was never a bouncer i can appreciate the complete and utter shiteness of what they had to deal with, the number of complete wankers that would start "dae ye ken whae a ahm" patter was ridiculous. My favorite was Craig Moore trying it and getting told - aye, i'm a rangers season ticker holder and you're not getting in cos you're shite".

We also used the bouncers to have some fun, with the curfew on in Glasgow, we would pick a couple of folk on a Saturday night who were just wankers, we'd watch out for them until about 12.50, then radio the bouncers to have them chucked out so by the time they were chucked out, they couldn't get in anywhere else. Was funny as they had spent a tenner to get it and then spent 3 quid a bottle on miller genuine draft (thinking they were cool) and then bang, their night out was ruined. My particular favorite was the perma tanned arsehole that we targeted because he was wearing a versace shirt with a massive peacock on it - he was nearly greeting as they escorted him out.

What an absolute dickish thing to do. Poor patter.

[Floyd]

I used to be one of the bar managers in a well known Glasgow club in the mid 90s. We'll call it Archaos. While i was never a bouncer i can appreciate the complete and utter shiteness of what they had to deal with, the number of complete wankers that would start "dae ye ken whae a ahm" patter was ridiculous. My favorite was Craig Moore trying it and getting told - aye, i'm a rangers season ticker holder and you're not getting in cos you're shite".

We also used the bouncers to have some fun, with the curfew on in Glasgow, we would pick a couple of folk on a Saturday night who were just wankers, we'd watch out for them until about 12.50, then radio the bouncers to have them chucked out so by the time they were chucked out, they couldn't get in anywhere else. Was funny as they had spent a tenner to get it and then spent 3 quid a bottle on miller genuine draft (thinking they were cool) and then bang, their night out was ruined. My particular favorite was the perma tanned arsehole that we targeted because he was wearing a versace shirt with a massive peacock on it - he was nearly greeting as they escorted him out.

 

That shirt cost me a lot of money as well.

[heartsfc_fan]

Was out in Glasgow a few months ago. Had the car and was stone cold sober.

Bouncer took a look at me and stared into my eyes to 'try' and make out of I was drunk.

"Nah mate not tonight"

The rest of the people I was out with had already made their way into the place so I was left outside.

I managed to talk my way in, but ffs, it puts a downer on your night.