chester copperpot Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Remember walking into the Scottish Bar in Kavos one night after a particularly heavy night the previous night to rapturous applause. Didn't have a clue why, and neither did my 3 muckers, until one of the barmen we'd got friendly with had told me that he had dared me to do press ups on the bar. Stay with me. Now he bet me that I would not do this naked on the bar. Stay with me. He also bet me that if I did these press ups naked on the bar whilst dipping my bell end into a pint that he would down the pint. Needless to say that I did all of this, and when speaking to the barman I asked why he'd shaved his head. He advised that he got worse than we did, and I had borrowed the owners hairclippers (sure he owned a barbers next door or summat) and when he fell asleep, I shaved all his hair off too. Felt a total cant, but needless to say never had to buy a pint that night in the Scottish Bar. Cant believe that wasn't my best story to tell at the outset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I would normally be full of praise for guys who have pulled a stripper, but seeing as you worked in the Western Bar I won't bother. Total munters I don't think I pulled her tbh I think it was more the case of i was incapable of walking/talking and she made sure I got home alright. (tart with a heart and all that, actually she was a sound art college graduate who's wedding I got invited to a year or so later) I was a right catch that night!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Polish Pure Spirit. I had a terrible experience on that stuff once. Horrible and about 90% ABV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dix Handley Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Was asked to leave Burlington Berties(in my humble opinion a real boozers boozer)one night. The Barmaid told me she had never seen anybody that drunk still standing up.Was still allowed back the next day but;). Obviously i am filled with an intense pride everytime i recall this particular moment of glory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Was asked to leave Burlington Berties(in my humble opinion a real boozersboozer)one night. The Barmaid told me she had never seen anybody that drunk still standing up.Was still allowed back the next day but;). Obviously i am filled with an intense pride everytime i recall this particular moment of glory. I actually recommended Burlinton Berties to a mate of mine at work last week. He is a weegie and had a few of his mates through last Saturday. They wanted to know of a boozer that has games on on a Saturday afternoon. They went there and watched Sunderland v Chelsea. I like Burlingtons, not been for ages though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.N.T.H. Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Prague 2006. 'nough said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Prague 2006. 'nough said. You and 2,000 others. Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Prague 2006. 'nough said. There's pretty much an identical photo of me. But in a bigger toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Haggis Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 One that sticks out in my mind was a few years back, at Christmas time. In old tradition I always went out on XMAS eve to the local then up town, needless to say it always ended up messy and would be rough as a badgers xmas morning. One year after being out on the lash xmas eve and waking up on crimbo morning still fairly jaked I headed back to the local (its open at midday on xmas day for 3 hours..) Had a few 'Hair O the dugs' and started to fell top O' the world Left the battle cruiser at closing to head to my parents for xmas dinner. As soon as I got outside in the fresh air I became rather disorientated Anyways made it to my folks - wished them merry Xmas and enquired what time the dinner would be served. Soon after (before dinner) I spewed my ringer..passed out and awoke around 11pm in the evening. Parents and in-laws none to pleased with my performance - xmas dinner in the dog, GF at the time calling every hour to enquire on my condition. I RUINED CRIMBO IN THE HAGGIS HOUSE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Merse Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 You and 2,000 others. Good times. I've got a photo of myself flat out on my back in a lift in some club in Prague. Happy days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Too many times to mention.:107years: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
269miles Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 On holiday in Benalmadina many , many years ago. Had already been out for a week when my mate and his missus came out to join us. I picked them up from the airport at about 8.00 am and then we went straight back to the apartment , pool etc for a bit of sun. My mate decided around luchtime that he fancied a beer so we went off to a little bar run by a couple of guys from Norn Iron. We had a few beers and then , it being my mates first day AND , by now 'happy hour' (that should give you a clue how long we'd been at it) , we decided to do some cocktails. By now it's early evening , we are both hammered and very inappropriately dressed so I decide it's time to leave - on my own. I have completely forgotten that I'm the only key holder and go back to the apartment and collapse in a stupor. Some time later the wives are banging on the door , having trawled round all the pubs looking for us. I am bollock naked at the front door getting a verbal doing from my missus when my mates wife says 'where's John ??'. I don't know and even if I did I couldn't speak.:beer: After a bit we three go for a pizza (mate still AWOL). I try to assure his missus that he'll be OK etc, etc but it's not working. So we get a table outside and start eating. After about half an hour my mate appears from nowhere : he is absolutely smashed out of his skull and is wearing only a pair of swimshorts and flip flops. He can't speak and can barely walk. The next few minutes were the most hilarious of my life : waiter tries to punt my mate , who won't go (well , can't go) , mate looks like a total perv in his swimshorts and his missus is embarrassed beyond belief. We compromise by getting him a takeway - which he never ate as he collpased when we got home and spent the next 24 hours in bed. Next day I had a horrendous hangover but I didn't dare say anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Jambo 60 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Might be a tad long. A few years back I was at a works do, I was trying to get off with a girlie that worked beside me that I knew fancied me. I was challenging her to see who could down a bottle of Bacardi Breezer the fastest, you know the old straw to the side trick. After about 10 (maybe more) we headed onto a club with the rest of the workmates. Apparently I just stood next to the bar hassling her to come home with me, all the while downing the Southern Comfort. She eventually chose to come back with me, so we jumped in a taxi. Apparently, I was too drunk to tell the taxi driver where I lived (I was staying with a friend, and I never knew my way about yet) so I told him the general area. We started getting jiggy in the back of the taxi, but he got a bit ****ed off and dumped us in the middle of a housing estate somewhere. We got out the taxi and were all over each other on someones hedge in front of their house. Apparently mid grope/fumble I just collapsed through the hedge and just fell to the floor, she said she tried to wake me up but I wasn't having any of it. So, I woke up in the middle of a housing estate, In a city I had been in for about 2 weeks, lying in a hedge, minus a jacket. Yep, she nicked my jacket and left me there. I got up, went to a chippy, scored a pizza and ate half it. Walked for what seemed about 2 hours till I recognized the area I was living in. Got back into the house and passed out. Next morning I woke up with the smoke alarm going off. Apparently I had put the oven on to reheat my pizza, put it in and passed out. Oh yeah, and I ****ed the bed. Majic mate good one I was about 18 up the town with my brother and mates,drinking pints and vodka. Got home went to bed but during the night got up and had a pish in my brothers middle drawer. 9am woke up with my broth in distress ,all his clothes soaked. Said to him i spilled some shandy in your drawer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Majic mate good one I'm glad you quoted Lovecrafts post Dougster, I'd missed that one. That's a belter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 One of the first times I ever had a drink I was about 16ish, we managed to score a couple of bottles of Merrydown(evil stuff) from the party his parents were having downstairs. After drinking about a bottle each we then took turns to raid the drink table at the party. We ended up drinking anything. Anyhoo, after a few hours I ****ed in his wardrobe and then pulled it down on top of me. When his mum came to see what was happening, I told her to feck off after she gave me a row. I was gutted as I always had a chubby for her. I also told her that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockyBalboa Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 One of the first times I ever had a drink I was about 16ish, we managed to score a couple of bottles of Merrydown(evil stuff) from the party his parents were having downstairs. After drinking about a bottle each we then took turns to raid the drink table at the party. We ended up drinking anything. Anyhoo, after a few hours I ****ed in his wardrobe and then pulled it down on top of me. When his mum came to see what was happening, I told her to feck off after she gave me a row. I was gutted as I always had a chubby for her. I also told her that. Both your stories are brilliant mate - absolutely ****ing myself with laughter here funnily enough it makes you want to go get ****ed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 Was in Shagaluf 12 years or so ago, me and my 4 mates hooked up with 5 birds from Linlithgow. Anyhoo, 2 of the lassies were stunners, 2 were decent, and one was an absolute munter. Well you can guess who ended up with the munter. Anyways the night was full flowing, we all got a bit pished, and decided to head down the beach with the girls. All night, my 4 other mates were slagging me off about the lassie, so when she decided she fancied a midnight swim, I advised her not to go out too far, as a Spanish Trawler might harpoon her. Well I fell about laughing, the lass started to get very upset, her 4 pals called me a wang ker and headed off back to their hotel. So I managed to feck up my 4 pals chance of their nat king, so was not a popular lad that night, but they didn't mess with me again. She was proper ming tho, even for me to say no to my hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I remember once having a deep and meaningful conversation with a tree in the back garden. I then remember giving it abuse because it knocked me back. Christ almighty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 A friend once sat talking to a fag machine in Black Bo's for about 20 minutes. Going by his chat he was trying to pull it. Not that anyone paid him much attention as they were fussing around the steaming bloke who had just fallen up the stairs on the way back from the toilet and had a huge gash on his head that was bleeding heavily. Despite this the drunken fool had managed to get a pint off the barmaid despite being at the end of 14 hours drinking and was happily supping away while dripping blood into the pint. Seven stitches I got as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I only got 3 stitches last night! Took a spill going home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I only got 3 stitches last night! Took a spill going home. Amateur. Perhaps my most shameful incident was having a fight with a bouncer who wouldn't let us into the club as one of us was too drunk. Unfortunately it was CC Blooms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Amateur. Perhaps my most shameful incident was having a fight with a bouncer who wouldn't let us into the club as one of us was too drunk. Unfortunately it was CC Blooms I knew it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I knew it! At least I won the fight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 At least I won the fight! Was there mud involved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Was there mud involved? Fists, unfortunately for your imagination:confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 Was there mud involved? They were going to box, but Taz hadn't brought his pink boxing gloves. POOf that he is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Fists, unfortunately for your imagination:confused: The plot thickens Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 Did you hit him with a reacharound blow when you were fighting Taz? I'll get me coat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Right where do I start? Xmas eve when I was 17, was off work for all oy xmas & new year but went in on xmas eve for the free bevvy in the boardroom at 12, ended up with everyone from work in Henry J's and by 5pm I'd necked so many double drambuie's that I projectile vomited right over the bar! Never been back since and that was 9 years ago ! Went to a mates engagement party in newcastle, about 30 of us started drinking at 12 before getting the train down, case of stella between 2, straight to the hotel bar for more stella. Party started at 8 but by half 7 we were all in the function room in the hotel and were singing scotland songs at the top of our voices! I was so reeking I think I lasted till about quarter past 8 before going for a nap! Got back up at 1 in the morning and kept the barman in the hotel up till 7 while I got reeking again! Huge crowd of us were in Crete 7 years ago and about half way through the week one of the guy's ditched us for some random bird from the night before. As it turned out it was the drunkest night of the holiday and when we seen our mate in the Beachcomber pub with the bird (and her 16yr old daughter) we decided that it would be a good idea for 5 or 6 of us to have a naked race along the beach right in front of the pub, had a quick swim in the sea before all of dripping wet walked up and sat next to our mate nad his bird! He was raging because she just grabbed her daughter told him to p*** off and walked out! Serves him right for being a hibby I suppose ! Absinthe is something I will never drink again in my life, I've drank it twice and the first time I walked the full 12 miles home from Tonic despite having plenty money for a taxi! Second time was black absinthe from the czech rep, I'd only had 4-5 pints then 1 shot of the absinthe but the rest of the night is a complete blank, woke up in the morning feeling like death but when I went to go down stairs I noticed the carpet was damp! I presumed by the way I was feeling that I'd thrown up on the stairs but instead later found out that my mum had found me at half 4 in the morning standing completely naked having a pee at the top of the stairs !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Got on a N22 on Wednesday night only to be instructed by the driver: "Don't fall asleep this time?" "..... Eh?!" "You fell asleep on the bus last week. I had to wake you up at the airport. Don't fall asleep." "Erm... ok" That would be the 4th time I had fallen asleep and gone all the way to the airport. One time the driver woke me up and asked where I was going. He looked shocked when I managed to mumble 'Broomhouse'. Obviously thought I was away somewhere on holiday, would have thought the lack of luggage and me reeking of bevvy would have been some sort of clue. The best time had to be when I decided to get a 26 home so I could go to Tesco. The bus hadn't even reached Haymarket before I nodded off. I woke up bleary eyed and quickly shot off the bus, got off to discover I was back on Princess Street - directly across the road from where I got on the bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Remember one night after being at the Venue I was absolutely fecked, had took about 4 of these dodgy pills from a Chinese guy and lost all my mates. Ended up along at the Scots Monument talking to the fecking statue and sliding down the hill in Princess Street gardens. Lost my phone, wallet and passport. It was a Sunday night I think so people saw me doing this on their way to work on the Monday morning, what a disgrace. Not feeling to good today either, just hame a few hours ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destruction Derby Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 looks like could possibly be a few of us all reporting back here tomorrow with a few stories. Need a drink to forget about this. Make Mine a Stella and a southern comfort and lemonade. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfstar Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 about 5 years ago, i was about 17/18 and in the local pub, me and mate sat at the bar and drank for hours getting steaming drunk. Apparantly we started drinking a nip and a half (dont ask why?) My last memory is about 10pm, apparantly we were in the pub till about 2, somehow got home and my dad sat up for 4 hours while I kept being sick in my sleep. To say I got the biggist bollocking from my dad, and told if it happens again im out the house. Even today I cant smell whisky without feeling sick. Another time went to a party (free bar) and woke up in the morning with a pink horse pinyata (spelling?), missing my trainers but had some pink wellys on but was pleased to find it the pink horse full of sweets, that helped the hangover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfstar Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Just remembered another one from when I was 17, started drinking shots early, was sick over the bar so me and my mate ran out the pub, later that night went to a labour club and pulled some 40odd women, then some girl claiming to be her daughter gave me the biggest slap I have felt, although I was a legend in school for a week or 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 My mate from last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Drago Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 Just remembered one from a couple of summers ago: Had a 21st in Dumfries to go to on a saturday so we decided to make a day of it and proceeded to get smashed during the day, however only after we'd purchased a kids pirate ship paddling pool from Argos. We filled it up with water, sat in it and proceeded to get ****ed up: 21st came and went without much incident, then hit a few old man pubs afterwards. Well oiled, we began the walk home which involves walking over a bridge over the River Nith. To this day i dont know why (presume its because we'd been in water all day), but we decided for an impromptu bout of skinny dipping in the River Nith - which i can assure isnt the cleanest river in the world. After we got bored of that we ended up at some birds house, where i decided to invite everyone back to my mums, who was away on holiday, where yet more boozing ensued. the last thing she said before leaving was 'Dont touch the parma violet vodka'...it didnt last long. Woke up the next day covered in scratches and smelling of ****e from messing about in the fields behing my house (again, no idea why), the best bit though was when my mum did get home and demanded to know where her washing pole was! Still dont know what happened to it to this day Good night though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Hardcastle Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 sunday just passed was at the musselburgh races. After many pints and spending money we made our way to the various pubs on the street. Learned not to go in the "Stand " Pub ever again after 2 of us got started on for smiling when a song came on. Anyway eventually went back into town to a mates flat and got leathered. Made our way out the to clubs and had countless Jagerbombs. After going into a club and leaving after loosing everyone had to make the long walk from the grassmarkets to Slateford to were i was staying. Grabbed a cheeky pizza to try and sobber up - didnt work, walked past the casino - went in, lost what small change i had, then as i was walking past the diggers thought it would be a great idea to venture past tynie. In my drunken state decided to scale the massive iron gates fall to the ground run down the gorgie stand and on to the pitch. What a great feeling. After a few minutes got back into the car park and looked for an escape route. Dragged a small coffe table 50 yards or so and gave up. Got to the Wheatfield gates managed to climb over fall once more to the deck and legged it back to the flat. Woke up the next day still drunk got a lift home via straighton for a Maccy D's. Great nite from what i remembered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
japanjambo Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I had a terrible experience on that stuff once. Horrible and about 90% ABV Would this be the stuff you mean? We get it over here in Japan. Lethal stuff! Takes the enamel off yer teeth! http://www.thedrinkshop.com/products/nlpdetail.php?prodid=1521 Lynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
japanjambo Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I think she had already had a hot sausage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
japanjambo Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 A few years ago I made friends with an Australian woman in Japanese class. After a few weeks her husband invited me and my family for lunch one sunday. They lived three train stations away. My house is about a 20 minute walk from my station(Hashimoto). We got there and I was on gin at the time. I had a few gin and tonics. We ran out of tonic, so I went onto gin and orange. Now Bernard, being an Aussie, doesn't pour *wee* drinks. I was drinking out of a brandy sized glass, and it must have been half gin/half mixer. Then after the orange ran out, it was gin and apple juice! Man, I was struggling, and feeling a bit sick while on the second one of those. But, being me, I didn't want to be ignorant and leave any booze *undrunk*, being our first visit to there house! Whilst on this last drink, one of their friends, an hungarian, came in to visit them. I proceeded to sing him a hungarian folk song called Tavaszi Szel(learned it from Queen live in Budapest video). After he'd left, it was time for us to get home. Aussie friends and their wee boy walked me, hubby and my two lassies to the train station(Fuchinobe). As we neared the station I thought I'd treat them and all japanese within earshot to a few verses of The Hearts Song!..to the eternal embarassment of my two daughters! I wouldn't shut up, and was giving it laldy on the platform! When we reached our station my husband, who was half jaked himself, had to practically carry me home. Getting a taxi was an option, but decided against it as there's a good chance I would have spewed in it. Spewed a few times during the night, and was a basin by the futon night. Helluva hangover the next day. Another time I was at my apartment block's annual festival. The only alcohol is kirin beer. They bring big kegs in, and serve it in draught. Now it's the people in the apartment's that organise everything and cook and serve the food etc. We have a committee, that changes every year, so everyone has to do their bit. Anyhoo, the beer is 500 yen(about 2.50)for your first cup, then you can return for as many refils as you want. Unfortunatel I don't like beer! So, I always take a cooler box filled with chu hi's( a japanese spirit called shochu with a mixer. Bit like a breezer, but is 7%alc). It goes down like juice, but blows your head off! After my fourth 500ml can, I was pretty far gone. Now, my japanese friend was serving the beer. Japanese people like their beer with a huge head of foam on it. Well, I thought I'd butt in and have a wee go at serving beer the *scottish* way. Everyone that came up I'd slaver " Japanese or scottish style?". My friend was peeing herself laughing at me. Then after a wee while I thought I needed another Chu hi, so started drinking again...then...fell on my arse not once, but twice...skinned and bruised my elbow, was staggering about talking to everybody in japanese. Then started to feel a bit queasy. So went to the loo in the security guard's office(only one loo) where I proceeded to puke(doon the pan luckily) and fell asleep sitting on the floor and clinging to the pan! Woke up when I heard banging on the door. Got up, flushed the loo, staggered oot, then straight home(11th floor)! Was ill all night. Woke up the next day with sore back, bruised elbow, and a black eye! My nose hurt like hell. Still don't know how I hurt my nose! Totally embarassing meeting neighbours ets in the elevator during the next week! Once got totally plastered when I was 16, at a Hearts dance in the COOP Halls in Bathgate. The guys on the Bathgate bus let my friend and I into their *kitty*. They let us away with putting in only about a fiver each, as they didn't think we'd drink much. I proceeded to drink 14 pernod and blackcurrants! Puked on the bus home and kept saying "well at least it's maroon!". Staggered round the road home, and woke up the next morning minus my four top teeth(I have four dentures on a plate...got them when I was 15). I had the unenviable task of trying to explain to my dentist how I'd lost my teeth! LOL! He was a good sport though and made me a free set, after ribbing me mecilessly!...Not the first time I've woken up with nae front teeth! LOL! Was also well blootered after a night in The Buzzbomb's pub in Dumbarton. He brought a bottle of bacardi to the table, with mixers. Evertime I looked at my glass...it was full! Puked all the way from Glasgow to Livingston in my friends car...luckily had plenty plastic bags. Had the hangover from hell the next day...as I sat in the Gorgie stand in the peeing rain watching a pitiful performance against Gretna!(1-1). I was quite famous on the Bathgate bus for having a hangover EVERY saturday. Friday night was *let's see how much we can drink tonight, night*.I often had to stand at the front in case I was going to puke! That'll do for now. Lynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommythejambo Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Had several moments I'm quite proud of. Was down in Whitley Bay with my football team for a weekend once. One of my mates decided to see how ****ed he could get me. So he started buying me ridiculous amounts of shots (Sambuca) and betting me I couldn't drink them. Being the kind of drunk I am I couldn't back down ended up ars*ing about 10 of them. This was after already drinking a very cheap and nasty wine and shed loads of pints and vodka. After someone recommended that I leave the club and make the 20yard walk to our B&B, you would assume the night was over. Wrong! Around 3 hours later, at about 4.30am someone phoned to enquire where I was, as the hotel bar was locked and our key was behind the bar. So there was no way I could have got into my room. I was walking back up to the B&B with a kebab (The shop had closed about 2 hours ago) with absolutely no memory of any events that unfolded since I left the club. To this day I really, really don't want to know. The award for drunkest I have ever been has to go to one particularly long drinking session when I was in Kos last year on our first lads holiday. After an all day drinking session we went to some club around the corner from our hotel I decide to go back to the hotel, totally reeking. After being refused service at the 24hour bar, I went back to my room and crashed out totally Donald Ducked. Several of my mates went back to the hotel and were asked if they were friends with "The big ginger guy" who had walked through the bar several minutes earlier. After they said they were they were told to go and make sure I was ok. They came up to my room and there was me lying on my bed, fully clothed. I had also left the light on and the door open. When asked if I was going to be sick I said I was, one of my mates went to grab a bag for me to be sick in. I was promptly sick all over his arm and on some of the clothes owned by a boy I was sharing a room with. Another honourable mention has to go to the time on aforementioned holiday when I fell asleep at the bar and got my head shaved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taffin Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Which was the night you got pished enough to drink pints of unrine Tam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommythejambo Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Which was the night you got pished enough to drink pints of unrine Tam? Incedentally not mentioned in either story. And to be fair I was promised free drink. Which was duly delivered. Roll on Kavos!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sparrieheid Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Far too many to describe in detail so just a short list. I've taken a **** in/on numerous items of household furniture without any memory of doing so, my favourites being my cats litter tray (I apparently removed the top/lid thing first, then replaced it when finished), and the bottom drawer in the kitchen that contained all of her plastic/tupperware containers (each filled to the brim). Sitting in a full bath whilst howling drunk and proceeding to spew in it, again, and again, and again. Shat the bed, once. Walking down Broughton Street late one Friday night, minutes away from home, next thing I'm being dragged of the train in Falkirk by 2 cops who did an ID check (all clear) but insisted I prove I could pay for a taxi home or I was spending the weekend in the nick. I got a taxi. Woken up with a broken wrist with no recollection how I got it. Woken up in the middle of Pennywell Roundabout covered in spew. To this day the merest whiff of Gold Label Barley Wine triggers a Pavlovian chucking-up response. As a young apprentice at my first works' xmas night out, I told my boss (in a voice loud enough for all the staff to hear) that his wife, standing next to him, looked like more of a man than him. We then started scrapping and rolling around the floor of this swanky hotel which resulted in our entire party being emptied. It was early doors too. There's the epic tale of my first night on holiday in Turkey which started with me downing many, many bottles of Efes lager (nice stuff) plus 2 bottles of Raki (sp), and ended with me narrowly avoiding arrest (Midnight Express anyone?). In between that, I leapt from my third storey balcony, fought with a taxi driver (I still carry the scars), got thrown out of several clubs, hi-jacked a bunch of German tourists in a camper van and made them take me to another town, broke into an apartment thinking it was mine but it was actually owned by a terrified old Turkish couple, and woke up alone in a hotel room the following morning, in the wrong town, with no money, and no idea of either the name of the apartments or even the town that my bird was in. Had my stomach pumped twice. You'd think I'd learn after the first time, it's not a pleasant experience. In my defence all of the above happened years ago before I learned to drink sensibly and in moderation. Anyone fancy a pint? Chin Chin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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