chester copperpot Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Last night came close to the drunkest I've ever been in my life. Trust me, as a bit of a drunkard, that is some statement. I went to a birthday party for one of my sons friends, met up the wee boys dad, arsed a bottle of red wine and 5 500ml bottles of strongbow. Then proceeded to my pals in Broxburn (the wife dropped me off) and had 10 cans o strongbow, and then headed out to the local boozer in Broxburn to consume more (lost count after the 5th double vodka ) Woke up at midday today with the worst headache today (after noticing that we had drank half a bottle of vodka when we came home), still drunk, and proceeded to have a pint of water then crashed out. Literally sobered up about an hour ago. So whats the worst you've ever been, and any interesting stories to tell about it? (I know mine's wasn't that interesting, but the amount I drank surely was). Answers on a postcard to [email protected] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bindy Badgy Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Went out for New Year back when I was 18. I can remember starting on a bottle of vodka and the next thing I know I'm waking up in hospital clothes. Apparently I necked the vodka and several beers in under an hour fell over and knocked myself unconscious on a window sill. I couldn't walk straight for 4 or 5 days afterwards. My parents still go on about it and that was 7 years ago. I'm still get embaressed when I think about it. I pity the poor hospital staff that had to deal with me. They should video people that get in that state and show it to kids as school as part of an alcohol awareness programme. Don't get too drunk kids or you'll end up like these idiots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossi_1983 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 When I was in Tenerife with some mates We had been drinking steadily most of the day, headed out, and every bar was offering extra drinks to get us in. Think it was about the 5th place that offered buy one get one free on litre pitchers of cocktails. We thought that sounded good They were free pouring them, so it was about half alcohol! I necked mine. My mate wasn't feeling great and didn't want his, so I necked that too! Went to a club, and withing about 10 minutes it hit me, and I had to go out to get some fresh air. Mates came out about 45 minutes later to find me asleep on a jaggy rocky wall! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Woke up in hospital one morning absolutely fecked. Was naked as well apart from hospital gear which is disturbing. Not my finest moment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Can't remember... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Christ, sounds as if you drunk a shed load Andy! Aboiut 7 years ago a few mates came up to the old flat on a Friday night. I bought some red wine, there was a deal on and I bought 3 thinking that would do me for a while. My next recollection is waking up on the floor using my Vinyl as one big blanket. 3 bottles of red wine, not my finest hour. Played football the next day as well - I hid out wide and prayed to be taken off. Unfortunatly we were short of players and I had to play the 90. Would like to think that I learned my lesson that day. Unfortuantly not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Can't remember... Exactly, if you can remember anything at all then you weren't actually that blootered. No memory = good night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djf Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hearts vs Ferencvaros possibly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Christ, sounds as if you drunk a shed load Andy! Aboiut 7 years ago a few mates came up to the old flat on a Friday night. I bought some red wine, there was a deal on and I bought 3 thinking that would do me for a while. My next recollection is waking up on the floor using my Vinyl as one big blanket. 3 bottles of red wine, not my finest hour. Played football the next day as well - I hid out wide and prayed to be taken off. Unfortunatly we were short of players and I had to play the 90. Would like to think that I learned my lesson that day. Unfortuantly not. Gig, I once woke up in the morning after pulling up my mum and dads carpet in their hall to use as a blanket, what was more disturbing was that I did this after peeing in my dads golf bag. What made it worse was the fact that I had just moved in with the bird 3 weeks earlier to a house in Carricknowe and I was drinking in the Carricknowe inn with my mates. My mum and dad stayed in Portobello. Not one of my prouder moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hehehehehehehe That a boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hehehehehehehe That a boy. Not what my father said the next day after reaching for his 9 iron on the approach to the 2nd at Craigentinny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billyboy38 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Nice thread or maybe not I have to many to mention some highlights , waking up in the Eastern after attending a Nurses halloween party (it was my 18th) Waking up in a bunker on Craigentinny golf course after a porty hearts player of the year night. Some not to memorable, the mrs bailing me out porty police cells at 5am after a doo in the Beachcombers where the owner Keith Blarney had sold up and gave all the Porty Hearts lads and locals a free bar all night. Waking up in my ma`s in Lochend to be told i had got up and went to the toilet against the outside door (how embarrassing) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 The time I fell out of my bed and burst my eye open on a weights bar but never woke up. That still freaks me out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Probably a few years back, was out with the ex and folk from my work enjoying some ?1 a drink Friday night action. It can't have been much later than 8 o'clock when I realised that my night was well and truly over so I decided to leave without telling anyone, including the bird. I had to stop the taxi in Dalry so I could get out and be sick, I sent the driver away as I knew I'd be a while. Phone had ran out of charge so had to use a phonebox to let the bird know what had happened, she wisnae chuffed. Got another taxi and once home spewed violently many times, bursting the bood vessels around my eyes, had wee red dots around them for weeks after it, was worried they might never disappear. Good night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Atkinsons Microphone Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Last night came close to the drunkest I've ever been in my life. Trust me, as a bit of a drunkard, that is some statement. I went to a birthday party for one of my sons friends, met up the wee boys dad, arsed a bottle of red wine and 5 500ml bottles of strongbow. Then proceeded to my pals in Broxburn (the wife dropped me off) and had 10 cans o strongbow, and then headed out to the local boozer in Broxburn to consume more (lost count after the 5th double vodka ) Woke up at midday today with the worst headache today (after noticing that we had drank half a bottle of vodka when we came home), still drunk, and proceeded to have a pint of water then crashed out. Literally sobered up about an hour ago. So whats the worst you've ever been, and any interesting stories to tell about it? (I know mine's wasn't that interesting, but the amount I drank surely was). Answers on a postcard to [email protected] :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I came home after a trip to Carlisle & peed in my kids toy box of furry animals. In the morning my wee boy knocked over the toy/**** box onto the carpet. 8 hours earlier, I had spewed on the train. I then felt ok so joined my Jambo chums at the Diggers, I wasn't ok though. At (circa) 11pm, I lost all my self respect & peed in my kids toy box. Godnight Viena. I will never watch Scunny v Carlisle at Burnden Park EVER again. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I came home after a trip to Carlisle & peed in my kids toy box of furry animals. In the morning my wee boy knocked over the toy/**** box onto the carpet. 8 hours earlier, I had spewed on the train. I then felt ok so joined my Jambo chums at the Diggers, I wasn't ok though. At (circa) 11pm, I lost all my self respect & peed in my kids toy box. Godnight Viena. I will never watch Scunny v Carlisle at Burnden Park EVER again. . Haha. I actually laughed out loud at that. WTF made you pish in your bairns toybox?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Haha. I actually laughed out loud at that. WTF made you pish in your bairns toybox?! In my drunken state, I think I thought it was a urinal. My wife has honestly never bought into the made up story of 'the dug is getting old'. In fact, the look she gave me the next day, I wouldn't bet agianst her actually standing watching me doing it. I was too ****ed to realise. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Might be a tad long. A few years back I was at a works do, I was trying to get off with a girlie that worked beside me that I knew fancied me. I was challenging her to see who could down a bottle of Bacardi Breezer the fastest, you know the old straw to the side trick. After about 10 (maybe more) we headed onto a club with the rest of the workmates. Apparently I just stood next to the bar hassling her to come home with me, all the while downing the Southern Comfort. She eventually chose to come back with me, so we jumped in a taxi. Apparently, I was too drunk to tell the taxi driver where I lived (I was staying with a friend, and I never knew my way about yet) so I told him the general area. We started getting jiggy in the back of the taxi, but he got a bit ****ed off and dumped us in the middle of a housing estate somewhere. We got out the taxi and were all over each other on someones hedge in front of their house. Apparently mid grope/fumble I just collapsed through the hedge and just fell to the floor, she said she tried to wake me up but I wasn't having any of it. So, I woke up in the middle of a housing estate, In a city I had been in for about 2 weeks, lying in a hedge, minus a jacket. Yep, she nicked my jacket and left me there. I got up, went to a chippy, scored a pizza and ate half it. Walked for what seemed about 2 hours till I recognized the area I was living in. Got back into the house and passed out. Next morning I woke up with the smoke alarm going off. Apparently I had put the oven on to reheat my pizza, put it in and passed out. Oh yeah, and I ****ed the bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cade Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 This thread has cheered me up no end....... I thought I had a few bad nioght but you lot put me well and truly in the shade. I've been woken up at 6am by binmen in various doorways, only halfway home before....puked up everywhere....fallen asleep on the night bus and been taken miles away from where I live with no money.... But I have never been involved in anything like the stories in this thread. There is hope for me yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Drago Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 on holiday last year war the bird i necked loads o cocktails, next thing i knew i had my shirt pulled over my head wandering about like a complete gimp, like this: after getting home we poceeded to make sweet love, only for me to fall asleep mid-ride. Best sleep i ever had though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 I once fell asleep in my garden holding a fish supper. Woke up to find the next doors neighbours cat was munching on the fish supper I had bought 3 hours earlier. Picked the fecker up, drop kicked it back into the neighbours garden, ate what was left of my supper and fell back asleep in the garden. Bad night, hurt an animal and ate contiminated food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lookoutjoe Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Got pished in Ibiza once when on a family holiday when I was about 15. Ended up spewing back at the apartment.(Spag Bol. Not nice) Was ordered to do my teeth and go to bed. Apparently I started to do my teeth with some hair gel and then spewed again. Now whenever that episode of The Simpsons with Kim Bassenger and Alec Baldwin is on my family rip the absolute pish out of me. As I say not the most pished ive been but it comes back to haunt me every couple of months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 drank 12 cans of tennants, 24 bottles of stella and a bottle of jose cuervo tequilla with a mate in about an hour to an hour and a half. then went to the pub. my mate fell over on the way and took me down with him. he then done a superman over a table and his brother threatened to kill him if he didn't go home. i think he crawled half the way home. i drank some more in the pub and sat in the corner obvlivious to anyone and everything around me. don't remember anything else. woke up the next day and noticed that i'd drank a bottle of baileys with someone (don't know who) after i went home. didn't have much of a hangover but had helluva sore knees. 10 years on and an arthroscopy on each of them i still get bother. not quite (but almost)the drunkest i've been, but its a shorter story than a magaluf one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo1982 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Woke up in hospital one morning absolutely fecked. Was naked as well apart from hospital gear which is disturbing. Not my finest moment! Snap Never touched Absinthe since. Vile Stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
269miles Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Might be a tad long. A few years back I was at a works do, I was trying to get off with a girlie that worked beside me that I knew fancied me. I was challenging her to see who could down a bottle of Bacardi Breezer the fastest, you know the old straw to the side trick. After about 10 (maybe more) we headed onto a club with the rest of the workmates. Apparently I just stood next to the bar hassling her to come home with me, all the while downing the Southern Comfort. She eventually chose to come back with me, so we jumped in a taxi. Apparently, I was too drunk to tell the taxi driver where I lived (I was staying with a friend, and I never knew my way about yet) so I told him the general area. We started getting jiggy in the back of the taxi, but he got a bit ****ed off and dumped us in the middle of a housing estate somewhere. We got out the taxi and were all over each other on someones hedge in front of their house. Apparently mid grope/fumble I just collapsed through the hedge and just fell to the floor, she said she tried to wake me up but I wasn't having any of it. So, I woke up in the middle of a housing estate, In a city I had been in for about 2 weeks, lying in a hedge, minus a jacket. Yep, she nicked my jacket and left me there. I got up, went to a chippy, scored a pizza and ate half it. Walked for what seemed about 2 hours till I recognized the area I was living in. Got back into the house and passed out. Next morning I woke up with the smoke alarm going off. Apparently I had put the oven on to reheat my pizza, put it in and passed out. Oh yeah, and I ****ed the bed. This is indeed a classic tale. Kids. don't do drugs ! In recent years, had a free weekend so went out on the Friday knowing I had to be on the road at 7.00 am for a trip to Tynie. Regardless, I got pretty well mashed up and went onto JKB at about 2.00 am thinking 'I need to rehdyrate'. So I got a bottle of Advocaat and poured a couple of snowballs with loads of lemonade (well , I thought it had loads of lemonade , at the time). I woke up at 6.00 , slumped on my keyboard. I had the worst hangover of my life. I looked at the Advocaat bottle , which was actually half empty by now , and threw up. The worst Saturday I can remember. Ever. 16 hours of absolute agony. To this day I don't even know who we played that day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boaby Ewing Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I'd been over in Seattle studying for about three weeks, and all the Brits (who were all 19-20) had been really struggling to score any booze as they were disgustingly strict (we were staying in the student district, and they were wise to most tricks... until we figured out a few new ones). Anyway, we finally scored an invite to a post-grads party where the booze was flowing freely. It was quite a civilised affair, but in true Brits abroad style we soon sank a skinful and got the party going a bit. Unfortunately, my mate Simon, a big farmer's lad from Bristol went a tad too far and was on the verge of getting kicked oot. We calmed the host down, who he'd just tried to piggy back round the flat, and told him to calm it a bit... but he proceeded to pour himself about half a pint of ouzo. Now I was ****ed, but not as bad as him... but still ****ed enough to think that the best idea was to take it off him to 'try it' and drink most of it myself (in my drunken logic, to stop him making more of an erse of himself). I was still feeling fine for another couple of hours, and a few of the rest of our group headed off... until Simon and I headed outside for a smoke... and the fresh air hit. Now fair to say he was still a bit 'tired and emotional' and I was now jaked as well... he was banging on about heading back to the dorms to try and fire into one of the British lassies (who was sharing a room with two other birds... and had a boyfriend... and had partly left the party as he was being a bit of pest). Unable to convince him that this was possibly a terrible idea in the state he was in, and with drunken logic reaching its nadir... I decided the best bet was a wrestling match to decide whether he got to chance it or not. Now he was a good four stone heavier than me, but still more jaked, and an easy victory ensued. He took the huff and I left him sitting on the kerb while I decided (riding a heavy wave of combat victory adrenaline and booze, that I might head back to the party to try and fire in aboot a Japanese lass who'd seemded entertained by my drunken patter). And that's pretty much the last thing I remember. Next thing I know, it's 6am, I've clearly not found the party or my way back to the dorms, and I'm sleeping in the corridor of some apartment complex. Having made a little sick on my shirt. Bolt outside to discover that I can actually see the dorms from where I am, I'm still ****ed and decide it's better to whip my shirt off than walk around with the vommy shame, and told the security guards on the way into the dorms that 'I no pable English padre' as they challenged me on the way in. Woken up by the rest of the Brits three hours later as we had to go on a feckin' cruise round the Puget Sound organised by the local rotary club. Never felt quite so sick in all my days, and that's the only time I've ever not made it home... though I've possibly been drunker when younger. Simon woke up, still sitting on the same kerb, at 7am, without his shoes. Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Drinking is not cool or clever. You are all a disgrace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Das Root Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Mates 18th, when I lived back home. She had a party in the local town hall. I'd managed to get hold of a bottle of Southern Comfort (possibly one of her presents) and proceeded to drink it neat, by the mug. By the end I was a slavering mess, but was staying at hers and hers was miles away. So we jumped in a car, two in the front, six in the back, me in the middle with girlfriend on top. I was plastered and realising that I was feeling quite ill knew the only way to avoid spewing was to focus on the car's headlights. Car drove off, me focussing, no problem. But in between the hall and her house were these two large, yet fast, hills. Went over the first, dukes of hazzard style, and felt the stomach go, but still I managed to hold on. The second threw me and a chucked up over the back seat, and the five passengers there. Now I'd knew it was coming so I put my hand over my mouth, but that only served to project it, spray fashion, in a wider arc. The car drove on, heating up, with my spew over all and steam rising on the windows. Of course once you've done it there's always the aftershocks, so I just gurgled that away into my hand and down inside my jacket. Back to hers, I was mortified and being all of 17yrs unsure what to do. Her mum was great (and hot!) but suffice to say it wasn't the best way to remember your 18th birthday. And next day I had to get the 5am bus, to catch a boat, to play bass in the pipe band world championships. I was green, ill and stinking. Nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Erm..... Not sure if this was the night I drink 12 double tequila and orange juice, collapsed in the toilet and spewed black sick on my own face but I can't rule it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Above post is a dud, tried to post a pic that won't show up. Ran out of edit time. ** New post ** Well... The night I was 15 and drank a half bottle of vodka in less than 5 minutes. When I downed **** loads of tequila and fell asleep in a bus stop. The time I woke up at 6.30am at the side of the road at Balgreen. When I drank **** loads of tequila on hols and ended up passing out and spewing black sick on my face. Got ****-faced in city and woke up in my own bed. Was very weird as I was supposed to be crashing at my mates in Leith. Hammered in Ibiza, collapsed bare arsed on the balcony. Then walked around the room in front of a strange lassie (back with a mate of mine) before retiring to the toilet to spew my face off for the next two hours (not exaggerating). Steamboats in Glasgow, ended up cuddling the DJ booth in Carbon. Within the last week, got reeking in Cav and City and don't remember leaving but both trips I was woken up by a bus drive at EDI Airport No real standout from that group, still young though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 late last year I decided to go out for a few jars the night before travelling down to edinburgh for the Derby (the 1-1 game). I then proceeded to drink a stupid amount of various pints, vodkas and shots. Got kicked out of the club I was in with my mates at that point. Stupidly most of them followed me to another club where I well and truly lost the plot. Managed to mis my early morning bus and wouldn't have made it down if my flatmate hadn't booked me another and physically put me on the bus with a plastic bag. By the time we got to edinburgh the bag was full. Utterly disgusted with myself (as I was starting to sober up by 9am) I tried to hide it rather than take it off the bus with me. Ended up spilling most of the contents and just decided to peg it. Was meant to be meeting up with my dad before heading down to the game, but since I had a few hours decided to get my grub on. Went into burger king next to the st james centre and ordered a meal. ate about 2 bites of the burger then fell asleep at my table for about 2 hours. Amazingly nobody woke me up and when I roused myself I had to peg it to a phone box and find my dad before swiftly making our way to the san giro. the worst part was, by this time i was fully hungover, sitting at the game swigging a bottle of water, mouth tasting of sick, some hot burd goes past and things since she is hot can help herself to some of my water (and she was right..) didn't have the heart to tell her I had probably backwashed a big bit of sick into it. My dad still gives me pelters about it, Amazing what a derby goal can do for a hangover though thanks Nade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Working in a golf shop in Edinburgh about 12 years ago, we went on a jolly to a Golf Show in Manc... Out in Preston the night before with the manager and owner - the manager being Irish, I stupidly decided to try and match him, drink for drink.... I was "okay" (ha) after the 10 pints of Guiness, but then he started on double malts... I thought I was "okayish" after consuming, quickly, 6 Large Laphroaig's, I thought I had better empty bladder. That was when the muscles in my body stopped working. Here's where it gets scary. I know I was "unconscious" on the floor in the bog, because I could smell it - I remember everyone coming in and declaring that I was a Jock Poof and asking if I was dead yet...I remember the ambulance coming with police in tow, being whapped onto a stretcher and then it went black... After that, I was aware of being in hospital, having the doctors rub my ribcage, and about yank my earlobes off trying to get a response - I remember distinctly the pain of them doing that but couldnt move a muscle in response...then I blacked out again... 0600 that morning (about 3 hours after having been brought in) - the Irish manager arrived to tell me to get up and stop being a poofter, and that we were going to be late for the show...which I duly did - sneaking out the hospital puking bright yellow puke after every 5 steps. Alcohol Poisoning aside, I felt shiiit the entire day.. Moral of the story ? Don't drink the 6th Large Laphroaig - it's a killer. To this day, I still can't drink whisky.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzbomb Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Was pretty melted on saturday at my mates party. Near the end the DJs decided to play "sunshine on leith". Much to the disgust of the missus I proceeded on to the dance floor, stood in front of the DJs and bared my 4rse. Not just bared it, bent over and pulled the cheeks apart. After being told off by the wife I then repeated the act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Was pretty melted on saturday at my mates party. Near the end the DJs decided to play "sunshine on leith". Much to the disgust of the missus I proceeded on to the dance floor, stood in front of the DJs and bared my 4rse. Not just bared it, bent over and pulled the cheeks apart. After being told off by the wife I then repeated the act. jeeezuz That was living dangerously was it not ? Baring your bumhole to a room where Sunshiiite on Leith was being played ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 Working in a golf shop in Edinburgh about 12 years ago, we went on a jolly to a Golf Show in Manc... Out in Preston the night before with the manager and owner - the manager being Irish, I stupidly decided to try and match him, drink for drink.... I was "okay" (ha) after the 10 pints of Guiness, but then he started on double malts... I thought I was "okayish" after consuming, quickly, 6 Large Laphroaig's, I thought I had better empty bladder. That was when the muscles in my body stopped working. Here's where it gets scary. I know I was "unconscious" on the floor in the bog, because I could smell it - I remember everyone coming in and declaring that I was a Jock Poof and asking if I was dead yet...I remember the ambulance coming with police in tow, being whapped onto a stretcher and then it went black... After that, I was aware of being in hospital, having the doctors rub my ribcage, and about yank my earlobes off trying to get a response - I remember distinctly the pain of them doing that but couldnt move a muscle in response...then I blacked out again... 0600 that morning (about 3 hours after having been brought in) - the Irish manager arrived to tell me to get up and stop being a poofter, and that we were going to be late for the show...which I duly did - sneaking out the hospital puking bright yellow puke after every 5 steps. Alcohol Poisoning aside, I felt shiiit the entire day.. Moral of the story ? Don't drink the 6th Large Laphroaig - it's a killer. To this day, I still can't drink whisky.... I was sure I had witnessed your most drunken night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I was sure I had witnessed your most drunken night. Fortunately no - no close friends or family witnessed my most infamous moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generic Username Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Christ, sounds as if you drunk a shed load Andy! Aboiut 7 years ago a few mates came up to the old flat on a Friday night. I bought some red wine, there was a deal on and I bought 3 thinking that would do me for a while. My next recollection is waking up on the floor using my Vinyl as one big blanket. 3 bottles of red wine, not my finest hour. Played football the next day as well - I hid out wide and prayed to be taken off. Unfortunatly we were short of players and I had to play the 90. Would like to think that I learned my lesson that day. Unfortuantly not. I'd love to know what and how much you drank that night at my flat where you could only say; "Johnny Marr had a guitar" Over and over for about 5 hours. Oh and the casual racism stand up routine with the microphone for the Wii karaoke. I've said too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trotter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 A few merit mention here: Lasswade Social at Walkers nightclub many moons ago - slyed in a bottle of vodka, arsed the lot, realised I could get served at the bar, arsed many more pints - passed out in the girls toilets, thrown out. Sitting on the square traffic island things with a mate in the Meadows drinking the bottle of vodka which we had bought for the b'day girl, woke up several hours later with no mate, no vodka, no left shoe and no recollection of how i'd got there. and the best to date: In Cancun for Spring Break last March, had been there for 2 days - drinking pretty much continuously. Headed to the Maxim Magazine beach party (complete with free bar) about 2 o' clock. Cue significant quantities of alcohol being consumed to the sheer horror and disbelief of the (many) Yanks. After about an hour of this I went to the bar to get another rum and coke only to be told that there was no coke at the minute, so rather than wait i proceeded to order a rum and rum (in a pint glass). Next thing I know i'm back in bed, its 5 o' clock the following morning, i've lost my camera, my mates are nowhere to be found and i can't understand why i'm not still in Penicuik. Turns out i was so drunk my mates put me in the toilet and left me to sort myself out, and in order to make sure no-one stole my camera when i was gone i buried it in the sand - only a bit too well, cos i couldnt find it!!! cracking holiday though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 One of Two of my most Oot Ma Nut Times Couple of years ago I was asked to go and work in Shanghai for this guy in Nottingham that had just opened a factory over there. I get off a 15 hour flight and go straight into a meeting to discuss design and production of wooden whisky bottles, all's well. After the meeting, the chinese partner (the amusingly named Mr Dong) announces that he's taking all the management to a restaurant to celebrate opening the new factory. I'm starving and looking forward to a right slap up feed of proper chinese food. Gets to the restaurant and the wine comes out, Chinese Cabernet Sauvignon, not bad pretty drinkable and I'm doing the whole swilling it about in the glass, sniffing it routine trying to act like I know about wine. Next thing the toasts start and this is where it all goes horribly wrong! The Chinese don't do the whole "we all drink together think", you get toasted individually kinda one on one style and its bad manners not to finish what's in your glass and we're talking about BIG wine glasses here. So there's three westerners and about 12 natives and each of them is coming up and toasting me and every time I'm downing a glass of wine. All the time I'm thinking I'm Scottish and 17 stone and these are wee chinese blokes, I can handle this. Anyway the food comes out and its all seafood which I'm not that keen on but by this time I'm starting to feel a bit pished so I tuck into oysters, salmon, abalone, lobsters and various stuff I had nae idea what it was. Meal finished, they bring out the liqueurs, which is this 70% abv rice spirit, and its the same carry on again. Its all a bit fuzzy after that and the next thing I remember is trying to get the electric windows down in the back of the car home, failing and puking up over me and the two other guys in the back seat. After that I don't remember anything until I woke up with my heid bursting, with that "Where the feck am I?" feeling and it taking me about ten minutes to realise I'm in a strange hotel room in the middle of Shanghai. Aparently I thought I'd been in the restaurant about 4 hours where in reality I was carried out after an hour and half I was never invited back!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Bapswent Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I performed a heroic Leo Sayer on the day of the Scotland vs Brazil opening game of the world cup. Watching the football all day I tanked the 12 cans of stella I brought with me. Then realising it was still only about 8pm, me and the guys who's flat it was bought 12 more. After the remaining 6 cans each, some friends came round so we went to the pub (Phoenix on Broughton street) where we eventually got chucked out for trying to get the entire pub to sing...and putting Flower of Scotland on the jukebox continually. We then retired back to the flat where we found his mates stash of beers in the fridge (they had went home) but there were some girls round with us by this point.. Proceeded to finish of the rest of the beers....puked in the toilet....then passed out no the couch with this munter who give her her dues, tried her hardest to keep me consious...but to no avail.....(my mate was in his bed with some other lass)...I then woke up a few hours later....puked blood...(which kinda freaked me out)....and decided the best thing to do would be to try and get home.... I had to get off the bus at Meadowbank to puke blood on the pavement at 7:30 am and walk the rest of the way home....well I say walk....It was more of a meandering zig zag stumble.... I felt truly awful for at least 48 hours after.... Thats the worse night I can recall.. I may have had worse, but not one I have memory off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 In magaluf with my parents and my mate when i was 15. Me and tattie went out for beers. started off in the bars around the hotel where we got hammered before heading for the pubs/clubs in the centre. we probably hadn't drank that much but we were blootered. nobody would let us in anywhere. i have a vague recollection of falling down all the steps that go down to heroes and standing up at the bottom to tell the bouncers i was sober. soon after i fell asleep on the pavement and tattie couldn't wake me up so he went to sleep too. a policeman had better luck by cunningly smacking us on the knees with his stick thing. i was then sick on tatties shoes(i don't think he's ever forgave me for this demeaner). someone tried to put us in a cab but the driver was having none of it so tattie called him a spanish bar steward. spanish bar steward taxi driver decked him. we had an adventure getting home. nobody could give us directions as we were too pished to remember the name of our hotel. i don't know what we were playing at but i do remember climbing over hedges at the back of a hotel and just flopping over the other side on my back. because over that hedge must be the way home yeah? we eventually got a roundabout and he swore he knew what way to go but i was tired and could barely see two feet in front of me. the grass looked nice and i voted that we should sleep where we were. we had a square go and he won the vote. ten minutes later we were in the don monolo hotel and i was furisously sick. i had what i remember as the worst hangover of my life the next day, not helped by all the bruises i had from falling around and getting hit. only thing was i didn't feel better for two weeks and since we were half way through the holiday it meant i was quite literally in bed for the rest of it. i don't think i moved for two days and had to lie on the bathroom floor when i eventually did get up as i was going to pass out. the rest of the holiday is a blur as all i did was sleep and halloucinate. i'm no doctor but to this day i believe i had alcohol poisoning. bizzarely, i don't even remember my parents getting me any medical attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 When I was about 19, a couple of mates from my first time round at uni went back to Haddington with me for a day on the pi$$ at my dad's boozer. About 12 pints of Caffrey's later i can remember hugging everyone in the pub and wishing them a merry christmas (it was May) and playing I wish it could be Christmas every day by Wizard on the duke box at about 110 decibels. I also remember playing football with a fray bentos in tesco and being asked to leave by security guards. My mate Andy then teabagged the window and shouted "smell yer maw" then the security came out and decked him. So we went back to the pub for more Caffreys and I then proceeded to crack onto this slightly dodgy barmaid that worked for my parents. I'd always had a thing for her since my early teens so thought it might be quite funny to get in aboot it. She agreed to come back to my parents house for drinks. It was about 1am when we got back and we proceeded to drink a bottle of expensive brandy and play "California Love" by 2-pac about 12 times. I decided to phone this fat burd who lived above me in the halls of residence and tell her that her "voice was sexy but was nothing compared to her breasts" and that we needed to "get jiggy with it na-na-na-na-na-na-na" when i got back to Glasgow. She told me to **** off. Undeterred, I tried to pull the barmaid. She was absolutely blazing and decided that she want both me and my mate Andy (with black eye) to go home with her. Luckily, he passed out about 2 minutes later and I left my other mate in the living room dancing about with my mums coat on to Cypress Hill and holding an 8th of a bottle of Hine Cognac and smoking a doobie. I went back home at about 7-30am to find my mum walkimg out of the door on her way to school (she's a teacher) and a scene of total devestation. 2 mates in a heap on the floor, half naked, booze, vomit, empty cans and bottles everywhere. I also was sick all over myself on the walk home. I went grey quite quickly and started shaking uncontrollably due to the early onset of alcohol poisoning. Spewed all the way on the buses from Haddington to Edinburgh and then from Edinburgh to Glasgow. Took about 3 days to get over the alcohol poisoning and about 2 weeks for my mum to speak to me again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigwull22 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Last Saturday, if you saw a very big, very drunk, guy staggering around gorgie, that was me, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterCapital Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I think once you get to a certain age you should know your limits and be able to avoid embarrassing yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzbomb Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Haha. Maybe a bit dangerous..... but, they'd need to shave it first! jeeezuz That was living dangerously was it not ? Baring your bumhole to a room where Sunshiiite on Leith was being played ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leginten Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I'll spare you the gory details, but I'd like to issue a retrospective apology to the residents of Godstone and anyone else who was near J6 of the M25 on my 40th birthday. I woke up on the bathroom floor the next morning to the sound of my wife saying "Get up. I don't want the children to see you like this." Deep, deep shame ensued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigyan Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 A few years back I went up to Aberdeen with a few mates to visit a mate at uni up there. After an all day drinking sesh I was a bit worse for wear and I cant really remember anything after about 8 at night! Anyway I wake up at about 5.30am still blootered in a random house with a "tubby" naked woman lying right on top of my also naked body! I roll her over, throw my clothes on, visit the toilet then do a runner! Im jogging down this street just as its getting light and this guy comes the other way. I stop to ask him how to get to Aberdeen city centre. He burst out laughing and asks me if I was planning on running all the way! Turns out I was about 10 miles away and I had been running a good wee while before that! Finally manage to hail a taxi and get back to my mates only to find out that "tubby girls" best mate is in the flat with him. Bit embarrassing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Winstone Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 In Albuferia (Portugal) this summer. Left the Villa having consumed 2 and a half bottles of wine and proceeded to the bright lights of the strip where we went into every bar offering free shots with drinks and then to a Kareoke (sp) bar for cocktails. Come 4am I was throwing up while walking back down the strip (all in the same motion) was then sick over a wall onto a restraunts tables and chairs and then got into an altercation with the local police - and I have been informed I spent an hour trying to convince them I was a Barrister with expertise in Portugese law (they were trying to arrest a friend of mine for knocking over a table of empty glasses) Got back to the Villa and had the other half of the 3rd bottle of wine. Safe to say the next day was a right off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Winstone Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 A few years back I went up to Aberdeen with a few mates to visit a mate at uni up there. After an all day drinking sesh I was a bit worse for wear and I cant really remember anything after about 8 at night! Anyway I wake up at about 5.30am still blootered in a random house with a "tubby" naked woman lying right on top of my also naked body! I roll her over, throw my clothes on, visit the toilet then do a runner! Im jogging down this street just as its getting light and this guy comes the other way. I stop to ask him how to get to Aberdeen city centre. He burst out laughing and asks me if I was planning on running all the way! Turns out I was about 10 miles away and I had been running a good wee while before that! Finally manage to hail a taxi and get back to my mates only to find out that "tubby girls" best mate is in the flat with him. Bit embarrassing! You are lucky - at Halloween one of the guys in our team passed out drunk and we took him to Dundee in his ninja outfit and left him in someones flat there without money or a phone. He was not chuffed when he finally got back to Aberdeen. Btw - We have all been in that situation - Aberdeen is rife with woman like that (most of them are from Shetland) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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