Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Put my cat in the fridge one night as well as it was ****ing me off after a night out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Going to Ireland in three days in two weeks time. I think it's safe to say I could add something else to this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Put my cat in the fridge one night as well as it was ****ing me off after a night out. Cold cat is not as tasty as cold pizza the next day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Couple spring to mind for me - both of them about 6/7 years ago. The first came after a day out on the lash which started at 3pm and ended (or so I thought) outside Subway West End at 3am. As we were leaving, my flatmate and I asked 2 girls that were standing outside - and who we'd never even spoken to before - if they'd like to come home with us. They got did and got in the taxi. When we got home all we had to dring was a bottle of wine and an unopened, 70cl, 40% bottle of Goldschlager (sp?). The girls started on the wine and I started, and proceeded to finish, th entire bottle of Goldschlager on my own. Not a wise move having already been on the **** for 12 hours. When I woke up in the afternoon, I was face down on my laminated living room floor. I got slowly to my feet to find that I'd fallen through the ironing board at some point as well bending that in half and breaking everything within a 5ft radius of it. My flatmate phoned me later on from his Mums saying he'd gone there to try and get some sleep about 7am. Another, shorter story started the morning after a party at which I'd stayed over. We decide that drinking all the leftover spirits first thing in the morning was a good idea. That resulted in me waking up on a 26 bus heading back into town from Musselburgh. I live near Portobello and the party had been at Slateford! Not only had I been asleep on the bus but I was wearing a large string of pink beads and my glasses and wallet were lying on the floor of the bus. A certain other poster on here, while probably not the drunkest he's ever been, can claim to sleep walking and taking a **** on the clothes my flatmate had just ironed for his work in the morning. He then proceeded to open my wardrobe, put some of my clothes on, and get into my bed. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Hardcastle Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 After the 3-2 derby when Miko scored the winner me and a mate decided to hit the boozer again back in peebles. Went to the cheap X servicemans joint for what should have been a few. Due to the game being a 12.30 ko we arrived there about half 3 and stayed there till around 8. After playing many games of killer darts and carpet bowls we decided to hit the local nite life and big occasion of a Rugby Club disco. Was completeley arsed and couldne remember anything after leaving the X servers. But got the rest of the nites events told to me 2 weeks later when i next seen people i was with as i ended up deciding to walk home at 1am falling over half way home and knocking myself out. To begin with i kept "topping up" my pint when the bar man left the bar and then had an outragous game of bowls with other local members noising it up a little. After knocking myself out i managed to call my sister in Mexico my uncle in England and Ex work manager and finally getting the right name in my mobile to call a friend to pick me up. They thru me in the boot and took me home where i collapsed woke up 2 days later with concussion and missed new year as a result and a beast of a cut accross my head. Seen a few photos and videos of the nite and im not proud of it ....but it happens to the best of us! There was also new year in glasgow going about George Square and sauchie hall street in my hearts scarff on my own trying to find my mates. Got many a good insult but happily donderded on and talking to an iranian bloke an his misus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flimsy Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I'm a total lightweight when it comes to drink, I've never really been drunk on pints because I physically can't drink any more of anything after about 3 or 4 pints. Therefore all my worse drunken occasions have been on shorts. On holiday in Spain with mates I spent a significant amount of the evening hugging a tree after several double vodkas. I don't remember this. Again, after several double vodkas I went to a wedding reception of somebody I worked with and for some reason that I still can't fathom to this day I burst out greeting on arrival and couldn't stop for ages. Double vodkas again (you'd think I would have learned by now), I was on a works night out and apparently made an 'absolutely disgusting' remark to a girl I used to go out with and was pinned against the wall round my neck by her new boyfriend. I remember being attacked but to this day I don't know what I said to her, I suspect it wasn't witty repartee. For the Euro' 96 game against England we decided on an early start at the pub (the pub that used to be the Beau Brummel) and I was drinking double whiskies on an empty stomach at about 11 o'clock in the morning. The last thing I remember is Moira Stewart on the lunchtime news and then I woke up on the couch in my folks house just after the game finished. Apparently, I had left the pub and collapsed in the street and had to be taken home in a police van. I can't even stand the smell of whiskey now. I only drink moderately now and haven't been drunk for about eight years, you can probably understand why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Drago Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I'm a total lightweight when it comes to drink, I've never really been drunk on pints because I physically can't drink any more of anything after about 3 or 4 pints. Therefore all my worse drunken occasions have been on shorts. On holiday in Spain with mates I spent a significant amount of the evening hugging a tree after several double vodkas. I don't remember this. Again, after several double vodkas I went to a wedding reception of somebody I worked with and for some reason that I still can't fathom to this day I burst out greeting on arrival and couldn't stop for ages. Double vodkas again (you'd think I would have learned by now), I was on a works night out and apparently made an 'absolutely disgusting' remark to a girl I used to go out with and was pinned against the wall round my neck by her new boyfriend. I remember being attacked but to this day I don't know what I said to her, I suspect it wasn't witty repartee. For the Euro' 96 game against England we decided on an early start at the pub (the pub that used to be the Beau Brummel) and I was drinking double whiskies on an empty stomach at about 11 o'clock in the morning. The last thing I remember is Moira Stewart on the lunchtime news and then I woke up on the couch in my folks house just after the game finished. Apparently, I had left the pub and collapsed in the street and had to be taken home in a police van. I can't even stand the smell of whiskey now. I only drink moderately now and haven't been drunk for about eight years, you can probably understand why. last time i drunk whiskey i woke up with huge scratches on my head and a bit of tooth missing. still dont know if i got battered on the way home or just fell over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterCapital Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Once I had so many beers I felt dizzy, light headed and couldnt walk straight. Decided to go home then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Merse Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Christ, I've got a few like... Hospitalised at 15, had tanner about 10 pints and alot of double jacks in some shady club in the Grass Market. Chucked out into the gutter, fell unconscious. Semi-remember an amazing feeling when an oxygen mask was out on to keep me alive. Awake in the hospital bed with mother and brother standing over me. My firsts words uttered..... "Don't worry mum, I do this all the time." I kid you not. What a ****ing idiot! Couple of months before that I'd been at some mini-house party, necked pretty much a 70cl straight, passed out in toilet, the house was at Penicuik. Took two busses to get home next day. First bus journey was neverending. Got off on Princes Street and spewed my absolute load right outside Jenners, with people looking on in sheer horror. Ibiza, club 18-30 holiday. Go out one night, and drink 3 pints of tequila sunrise cocktails and was given a free bottle of apple schnapps of which I necked it all. Go on to the next place and drink two double Long Island Ice teas, (two shots of vodka, two shots of tequila, two shots of gin and two shots of triplesec in each one). Go to the next place, ordered a beer I think, supposedly found a bottle of champagne lying about and drank that. Christ knows what happened after that but I disappeared for about 5 hours and nobody knows where I was (very scared about that), I've not got a clue. Got back to the hotel at 6am, mates were sitting speakin to some birds, I sat down with them and my head just cracked off the table. They told me to go to the room, which I did, telling them I was off to cook some super noodles? Next thing I know I wake up scud naked in the bathtub covered in sick and everyone looking at me. The whole hotel knew about it. Theres been plenty other shockers but those are some of the worst. What an absolute reprobate I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Thor Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Two shameful incidents for me.... first one in Crete on holiday with the then missus. Sat at the local bar getting lashed in and ended up taking the barman on at depth charges with sambuca being the depth charge. Anyways, long night ensued where i fell through the hedge outside the pub, fell over twice onto the main road and finally fell backwards off the apartment step, which was only about 3 inches tall, knocking myself out cold. Missus (who was also 3 sheets) took the key, got the camera out the room and proceeded to take pictures of me sparko on the landing with the knee out my jeans, nae skin on my elbows and dirt all over my face, before she fecked off to bed. To top it all i ****ed myself before i woke up freezing to death. Second one on a works jolly to 'For your eyes only' exotic dancing emporium in Wembley. We got there about 4pm to be met with a 2 for 1 deal on Kirin lager. work paying for the bevvy and vouchers for 'entertainment', it was all going so well. Pished by 9pm went to the toilet and fell off the pan (trousers at ankles) and fell asleep. Trouble was i was wedged between the cubicle door and the pan and no one could get in and the bouncers were too big/heavy to climb over. Apparently much comedy was had by all as they tried to drag me under the door (about a 4 inch gap) then finally fired a workmate over the cubicle to drag me out the way and open the door. I woke up the next morning covered in bruises and with huge grazes on my legs where they'd 'cheese gratered' me off the cubicle. Didn't have a clue what had happened or how i had got back to the hotel. Not really comendable adult behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Long shot - but there are some old fuddy duddies on here Does anyone remember a house party of a guy called Stephen McIntosh who stupidly called a party at his house in Eskbank (I think, maybe Dalkeith) back in 1986/87 ? One of the wildest house partys I've ever been to - cars being rolled and bounced into the middle of a field, gold plated taps beings wrecked, a bath full of vomit/pee/ice and beer, and the host out cold piished after 30 mins of it starting.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyJambo Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Ok here's one (of very few) moments of shame from me... 19 years old and in Ibiza with 4 girlies mates and a couple of lads. After a prolonged session of sunshine drinking, involving beer, cocktails and sangria, I was slightly the worse for wear by the time we got to our party night. Suffice to say I pocketed 3 bottles of cava, two free entry tickets to Es Paradis' foam party and a couple of free cocktails by doing a spot of boxing and riding a mechanical bull without the aid of either my top or my bra! As if that wasn't bad enough I proceed to decide that skinny dipping was the way forward as we walked home, removed all my clothes and went swimming in the Med without a care in the world. Joyfully requesting that anyone and everyone join me! Which most did I might add! I must have been well p*ssed as I am terrified of the sea! Still I wasn't sick. I'm very rarely sick and I very rarely get a hangover, And one of the lads we were with must have rated my boxing and bull riding as he went onto marry me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cade Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Not so much a tale of my own drunkenness, but a legendary house party at my place...... The olds had gone on holiday for three weeks and left me alone in charge of the house. First night they were away I threw a monster party. All my mates, all their mates, all my cousins and all their mates and all their mates' mates turned up. Must have been close to 100 people. You couldn't get up the staircase for folk sitting/standing on the stairs. Party spilled out into the street too. Started at 5pm, ended at 4am when the Polis turned up. Luckily I had been tipped off that they were on the way and the place was empty by the time they arrived. Woke up the next morning to absolute devastation. Front door wide open. House freezing. Every hedge in the entire neighbourhood was stuffed full of empty cans/bottles. Every room in my house was covered in vomit/used condoms/items of clothing. I'd kicked in the bathroom door at some point too and that was laying in the hallway. Greenhouse was smashed to buggery. Back garden was a bombsite. It took me the entire rest of my folk's three week holiday to fix the damage. Cost me a bloody packet too. Worth it though. People still talk about it as a great do, even though it was years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockyBalboa Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Came close Saturday I think..... Tanned a bottle of wine before the football, had a couple of pints too. Then went home had some whiskey and then made my way up to a brids house I have just started seing last week. Had a bottle of beer and was drinking more wine. Woke up Sunday morning on her couch, she said I was just sittin there and well asleep. Felt a right arsehole I've done some other pretty ****e stuff when ****ed including ****ing on my ex's folks carpet while there in the room. Im a really bad drunk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CostaJambo Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Aah, where to begin...? Maybe not the drunkest but one of the most embarrasing unfortunately happened at a family wedding at some posh hotel. That worst knid of wedding where you are not one of the main players so can sit back and really enjoy the occasion. Decided late on it would be a great idea to go upstairs and get changed so bounced back down to the reception in a pair of manky jeans, t-shirt and a baseball cap. Proceeded to proposition the photographer's missus in fairly crude terms with my mum apparently standing right behind me. Was then sent to bed and managed to drop a full pint in the lift on the way up and just left it. Phoned room service and ordered prawn cocktail sandwiches and then phoned back down half an hour later to ask for a progress report as they still hadn't arrived. My brother doesn't drink as often or as much as me and once on a works xmas night out when he was in charge of the office decided it would be a great idea since they were passing the place between pubs for everyone to go in and photocopy their arses, with the cleaner walking in as he was sitting on top of the photocopier with his trolleys round his ankles. My mum woke me to come and give her a hand at about 2a.m. so I went into the bog to find him lying in the foetal position covered in peesh and ****** repeating over and over the immortal line "Get me a spillow". To this day a good sesh for the 2 of us is referred to as a spillow job. Once found a lipstick on the floor when leaving Rixy's nightclub in Durham and picked it up to try and talk one of my mates into putting some on later. We were outside the kebab shop when a cop car pulled up and we sort of gathered round it giving them some good natured jock banter. Put my hand in my pocket and found the lipstick so decided it would be a great idea to write on their roof that they were members of the Cambridge University Nautical Team Squad. They drove past us later on and appeared puzzled at us pishing ourselves as they waved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goose Baxter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Had a wee night out in livingston on sat and has got to have been the worse state i have been in for a long time!! Had 6 cans of bud at my mates, Went to Massimo's and ordered 3 pints of peroni ( ?14.95 for 3 pints!!!! ) & then had some vodka called Grey Goose i think. Not a vodka drinker but was nice. Then after that went down to club death, Had far too many shots of some bailey's and tobassco sauce. Rank!!!!!!! Then went back to this birds place for a party and she made us some mac & cheese. but then started drinking jack d from the bottle and felt a wee bit sick so went up stairs to throw up but i was sick in the sink rather than the pan and had to scoop out all of the pasta that was in the sink and it was proper minging. Didnt get home until 10am on the sunday and the good old mother went mental at me for getting in at that time as they do, and then it was off to bed all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoddyhmfc Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 4 weeks ago for me worst i have ever been started at my mates house at 6pm playing "ring of fire" arsed a whole bottle of vodka followed by 3/4 of a bottle of gin and the 1/2 bottle of martini went into town had a few more double vodkas along with 3 or 4 sambucas woke up in hospital the next day my mates tell me i just collapsed in the grassmarket shaking like i was a druggie liver still cant handle even one beer now 4 weeks on...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Christ, I've got a few like... Hospitalised at 15, had tanner about 10 pints and alot of double jacks in some shady club in the Grass Market. Chucked out into the gutter, fell unconscious. Semi-remember an amazing feeling when an oxygen mask was out on to keep me alive. Awake in the hospital bed with mother and brother standing over me. My firsts words uttered..... "Don't worry mum, I do this all the time." I kid you not. What a ****ing idiot! Couple of months before that I'd been at some mini-house party, necked pretty much a 70cl straight, passed out in toilet, the house was at Penicuik. Took two busses to get home next day. First bus journey was neverending. Got off on Princes Street and spewed my absolute load right outside Jenners, with people looking on in sheer horror. Ibiza, club 18-30 holiday. Go out one night, and drink 3 pints of tequila sunrise cocktails and was given a free bottle of apple schnapps of which I necked it all. Go on to the next place and drink two double Long Island Ice teas, (two shots of vodka, two shots of tequila, two shots of gin and two shots of triplesec in each one). Go to the next place, ordered a beer I think, supposedly found a bottle of champagne lying about and drank that. Christ knows what happened after that but I disappeared for about 5 hours and nobody knows where I was (very scared about that), I've not got a clue. Got back to the hotel at 6am, mates were sitting speakin to some birds, I sat down with them and my head just cracked off the table. They told me to go to the room, which I did, telling them I was off to cook some super noodles? Next thing I know I wake up scud naked in the bathtub covered in sick and everyone looking at me. The whole hotel knew about it. Theres been plenty other shockers but those are some of the worst. What an absolute reprobate I am. No offence mate but you sound like as big a waster as I am! Gambling and drinking problems! Oh dear! I've had a good laugh at this thread, I have a few more really bad yins but I'm to ashamed to put them on a public message board! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Merse Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 No offence mate but you sound like as big a waster as I am! Gambling and drinking problems! Oh dear! I've had a good laugh at this thread, I have a few more really bad yins but I'm to ashamed to put them on a public message board! Sounds about right... I like a drink and a punt, it's when you do both at the same time it gets bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Im crying with laughing at this thread. Best for ages. I had a bad experience at a wedding at hotel near Silverknowes cant remember the name. Was drinking water melon bacardi breezers with after shock chasers.If my pal didnt have her car i wouldnt have got home. Was in my bed for 3 times. Was sick down myself in my bed...never touched either since. Was drinking whisky in a pub in leith, was sick on my self in the taxi, scooped it up and threw it out the window. never touched whisky since.. Im older and wiser now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goose Baxter Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Im crying with laughing at this thread. Best for ages. I had a bad experience at a wedding at hotel near Silverknowes cant remember the name. Was drinking water melon bacardi breezers with after shock chasers.If my pal didnt have her car i wouldnt have got home. Was in my bed for 3 times. Was sick down myself in my bed...never touched either since. Was drinking whisky in a pub in leith, was sick on my self in the taxi, scooped it up and threw it out the window. never touched whisky since.. Im older and wiser now Class!! Was just like me except i scooped the pasta out the sink and flung it doon the pan. All i could smell was the brown sauce through the pasta!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockyBalboa Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Sounds about right... I like a drink and a punt, it's when you do both at the same time it gets bad. ****in legend mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Not the drunkest I've ever been but I was once sick in my bag in a cab. Sneaked into the house (like an elephant) and threw it into the washing machine. I was convinced I'd got away with it until the gilfriend at the time asked me a couple of days later why there were bits of mushroom in the washing machine. Then I remembered the pizza I had attempted to eat before I got a cab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Just remembered a wee one. Got absolutely wrecked one night and came in about half 4. Went to my bed and for some reason, I was absolutely convinced I had left a bottle of water at the bottom of the stairs. Jumped out of bed and went doon the stairs in my boxers only to find feck all at the bottom. Got back up and realised I had locked the door, had to bang on the door until my mum got up and opened it (she never knew I had been in yet) The look she gave me when she opened the door to find me with nae clothes on, absolutely bladdered was a look of sheer disgust! Couldn't explain it in the morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weaverhorse Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 About 2 years ago in the summer I drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels before going out on the town with a few mates, about 4 hours and 6 pints later I returned and drank the rest of the JD. Woke up in the middle of the night and threw up on the sofa, luckily I managed to roll over and spent the rest of the night on the floor otherwise I would have choked on my own vomit. Woke up covered in vomit the next morning with the worst hangover ever, I swore i'd never drink again after that. Of course I was out again the next weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Atkinsons Microphone Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 My auntie had a 40th Birthday party at Longstone Hearts a couple years back. I rarely drink as people who know me will testify but a few mates came along so I joined them in a few double Vodka and cokes, a good few later and some pints along the way seemingly I was up on the Karaoke singing 'New York, New York, so good they bombed it twice' And instead of singing start spreading the word, I started singing start spreading your legs, I say seemingly as I cannot remember any of this and my Mum, Dad and Gran all reminded me of this the next again day, my mate also confirmed the story. Turns out I got booed off stage by some people at the party for my song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy.C Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Have a few pretty heavy ones from uni days. One that was particularly bad that I remember was when me and a few mates went to Amsterdam for a long weekend. Started out normally enough, but then two of us broke away wanting to go find a casino (first drunken move). Ended up failing, and went to a pub, where we drank a good amount of beer, but then for some reason whisky became appealing. Think we must have got through about 6 pints and 6 whiskys in one bar before moving on. Pretty much repeated this again at the next place, by which time it was getting pretty late, and bars were closing up. Being in no mood to stop drinking, we weren't best pleased (already blootered by this stage). Onwards we went to find the next place, but as said, not many places were still open, until we discovered what was clearly a gay bar/club (called the cockring if memory serves!). Happily enough went in there, had about two more whiskys, then sauntered back to the hotel...made it to bed (via bouncing off corridor walls), then promptly threw up in the bin. Following day was without a doubt the worst hangover I've ever had. My friends were taking pictures of me, such was my pale complexion! Next one is a bit more tame, but spent a whole day in the pub after the end of term at uni I think it was...but on an empty stomach. By about 9pm, as my vision began to give up on me, I started to make my way home...managing to throw up in mid stride, but avoiding myself thankfully. Made it back to the flat and decided to have a wee sleep as I was tired, but i'd then get up and have some dinner! Next thing I remember was waking up, going to the kitchen and with the help of a knife, decimating my flatmates jar of nutella! Staggered back to bed, slept a bit, then woke up needing to throw up. Is probably the only time I quite enjoyed the taste of sick as it was all nutella coming back up!!! Made it back to bed, but was woken by my flatmate coming home, at which point I decided it was time to order some takeaway...but he said I couldn't as it was 5am by this point! Bad hangover! Many more, but those were quite memorable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevenauskas Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Going to Ireland in three days in two weeks time. fowler that doesn't make sense haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PontiusPilate Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 The Hamilton Lodge many years ago, all day drinking Tennents Extra and whisky until I'm full to bursting point. Stagger home past the Dog and Cat home when it all decides to come up and I'm a very noisey spewer, BAAAAALLLLLLLL, BARFFFFFFFFF, woke up every animal in the place and they all joined in howling, barking, screeching. Think we must have woken up most of east Edinburgh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 I've just remembered another cracker. My mate brought me back a bottle of Ouzo from when he was in Greece, so the both of us arsed this along with several Stella's on my 19th birthday, ended up spewing the whole night in the toilet, came out of the bog, got put to bed, and got caught by my dad peeing out of my bedroom window, just as he arrives back from the Pizza shop stone cold sober with a pizza for me. Needless to say I wasn't allowed any of the pizza, and got absolute dogs abuse from my father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 There was the time I was up for an award with my company. They have a big lavish awards night every year and it's all free booze and a meal. They get some minor celebrities to present awards and when I was there it was folk like Dr Trueman from Eastenders, a few folk from Corrie, Simon Weston and the others escape me for now. Lorraine Kelly was hosting. Also all the big bosses from the company were there so it's be on your best behaviour time... Anyway, it got to the entertainment after the meal and stuff and I was totally wasted. Rose Royce was singing Car Wash and I dared some boy to go on stage and dance with her. He double dared me. I didn't need asked twice and jumped up and started jiving away, then she handed me the mic, so naturally I just went for it and belted out the few words I knew in the song! Luckily it went down well and Dr Trueman even came up to me to shake my hand and said the I was 'amazing'. Lorraine Kelly asked for my autograph so I signed her chest. Much more alcohol was drunk after that and I spewed out the taxi window while it was driving my home, don't think he noticed as he said nothing. I woke up in the morning to find my curtains on the floor as well as all my clothes which had been hanging up in the wardrobe. I sleep in the attic and had also been sick all over the roof, the toilet must have just been too far to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 ....that would be never..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seashell Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I've just remembered another cracker. My mate brought me back a bottle of Ouzo from when he was in Greece, so the both of us arsed this along with several Stella's on my 19th birthday, ended up spewing the whole night in the toilet, came out of the bog, got put to bed, and got caught by my dad peeing out of my bedroom window, just as he arrives back from the Pizza shop stone cold sober with a pizza for me. Needless to say I wasn't allowed any of the pizza, and got absolute dogs abuse from my father. You forgot to mention, once you had been sick, in the hall, in the bedroom, on the living room carpet you the proceeded to fall asleep in the bathroom with your head at one end beside the pan and your feet stuck up against the door (my brother is around 6"6)! We were all banging at the door and shoving it trying to get you to move as the rest of us had had a few and needed in. I cleaned up all the sick before Mum came back and went mental. I'm sure you still owe me some chocolates or summit for that!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Kidd Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 My worst one was waking up in bed with my mate's maw and having no recollection how I got there or what had happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 My worst one was waking up in bed with my mate's maw and having no recollection how I got there or what had happened. Did she cook you breakfast in the morning? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Kidd Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 No. I bailed but couldn't find my shoes, so had to leg it in my bare feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 No. I bailed but couldn't find my shoes, so had to leg it in my bare feet. You should have hung around. You might have got a fully cooked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Kidd Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 You should have hung around. You might have got a fully cooked. I think she had already had a hot sausage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted March 18, 2008 Author Share Posted March 18, 2008 I think she had already had a hot sausage. More like a lukewarm chipolata. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Kidd Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 More like a lukewarm chipolata. Yawn. From a weegie, that is like Oscar Wilde to Chubby Brown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portobellojambo1 Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Whats the drunkest you've ever been? Cannot remember, I was probably drunk at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norm Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 A certain other poster on here, while probably not the drunkest he's ever been, can claim to sleep walking and taking a **** on the clothes my flatmate had just ironed for his work in the morning. He then proceeded to open my wardrobe, put some of my clothes on, and get into my bed. . Heh! Them were the days! I was probably worse at Kirsten's party at the bottom of Leith walk/Shady pub crawl round Leith walk. Resulted in what will forever be known as Black Monday, the worst hangover I've ever had. It's a long story, but then, it was a long session! A few of us had gone to a party of my mates girlfriend on the Saturday night. It was during my no money stage and all I could afford was a packet of Amber Leaf baccy and a bottle of White Lightning cider (50% extra free so a decent 3 Ltr number - unfortunately, I hate cider). I'd also pinched a bottle of Morgans Spiced from my old man without him knowing, in case of emergency. Got to the party and proceeded to snakebite the cider with Jack Of Hearts. Ended up pretty minced. Woke up on couch at the party next day, still half cut but I'd not touched the Morgans. Proceeded to carry on drinking any left overs (but not the Morgans) and found out Jack Of Hearts was still there. Left about 1pm and decided to do a pub crawl up Leith Walk, drinking in some of the worst pubs I've ever been. Unfortunately, at our very last pub before getting on the bus home bladdered, an old mate came in the pub with his mum, brother, auntie, mums pal etc, for a birthday do. So we carry on drinking with them. It's now about 5 o'clock. They tell us they're going to another few pubs so tag along and work our way back down Leith Walk, drinking in more boozers. End up in a crappy wee bar with Karaoke, absolutely peshed. The pub shuts and we're invited back to a party. Somehow, sense kicks in and I refuse, knowing I have work in the morning. Borrow Jack Of Hearts house keys as I was staying in Livi at the time and stumble, fall, and crawl back to his, about an hours walk away but probably took me 2. Still with an untouched Morgans. That is, until about 10 minutes from base camp when I fell, again, and the Morgans fell out and smashed everywhere. Gutted. Woke up in morning, hammered, reeking of booze, an hour late for work that I'd only started a couple of weeks before with no work clothes. No sign of Jack Of Hearts, so quick phone call to make sure I could pinch some a work gear (none of which fitted me in slightest) and stumbled onto bus for work. spent majority of day hiding in the toilets, sleeping and being sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorgiegirl Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Was still living with mum and dad at the time and had gone out for a drink with 3 mates after work without eating. The girls stuck to red wine (buy 2 large glasses get the rest free type deals that are soooo wrong), so for each pint they had we had a bottle between us. After 10 pints/5 bottles each I had to be literally carried home and put to bed. I woke up with 2 pairs of pyjamas on. My mate got the last train home & woke up in Dundee instead of Dalgety bay. 0r a few from uni days a) held the boat race record for 4 years for downing a pint, and thus every visiting team/ bloke would try and challenge me to down a pint quicker than them (fairly easy). One day decided that 80% was not that healthy so used pints of white wine.... big mistake after a day on the peeve watching the 6 nations we decided to do the century club ( down 100 egg cups of beer, on the minute every minute for 100 minutes) Not a large volume but it is over a short space of time. having done this several times I thought I would do it with gin....lasted 56 minutes then lights outs. Those are the tame ones as my Daddy posts on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Who's yer daddy?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 fowler that doesn't make sense haha I know. I was probably drunk Still... Ireland FOR three days IN two weeks time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecjambo Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 One of the drunkest for me was at my cousins 30th a few of years ago. Had finished working then went straight to the party in Town at a bowling club cant remember which one. At the time I hadnt been drinking for that long and was straight into the pints of Tennents. Im not really a fan of Tennents at all really. Not an excuse though. My cousin and I decided to play a drinking game kinda thing you had to drink with left hand if you drank with right hand you had to down the pint. So I get caught out numerous times and was downing about half a pint at times. Never a great sign. Not sure how many pints I had but must of been quite a few. The next thing I remember was bombing it to the toilet and throwing up. What a mess. So after my cousin found me, he got my sister (who was driving) and the best thing was to leave although we took my grandma home aswell. So as I was waiting for them I went outside the bowling club where I threw up again, feel really bad for them now. We got in the car, me in the back, my grandma in the front Im sitting there slumped head down falling asleep. While I can just remember my sister saying to my grandma yeah he is just tired been working you know. Blah Blah Blah. Well made it home don't think I was sick again, smell in the car must of been bad though. Mum wasnt too impressed. But thats what drinking is all about i suppose. Much more experienced drinker now though. I never get caught out if you play the left handed drinking game! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmfc_steve Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Kavos for me .... absolutely hammered ..... fell asleep on the beach waiting in the queue for the bungee thing that fired ye up in the sky ....they still put me on it Then went on the pedalo wi the mates... wi a carry oot .... we upturned the boat, lost the most of the carry oot,,,, righted the boat, and drunkenly peddled back to shore .... aim for the white building someone slurred.... after peddling for what seemed hoors, turns out we'd been following a bread van doing it's roonds ! Traipsed back tae shore, and handed back a mangled, leaking peadlo... and we went for afternoon cocktails.... several hours later, I was chatting up a nun whilst I was sitting on a stone wall, and being so drunk, I fell back aboot 10 feet into a corn of the cob field.... heard all my mates laughing, then thety left me. Getting dark now, and I finally managed to find my way out.... couple more nightcaps, then lay down on the pavement for a sleep. My mates woke me up in the morning, went for breakfast.... and started all over again Day 2 story is a stoater !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I used to work in the Western Bar when I was about 24 We had had a right rough night one night (pi5hed punters fighting, perverts at the bar etc) so Mark the owner decided we needed a lock in. There was me, mark, some other bloke and three strippers in the pub all drinking and Mark decides we need a round of Polish Pure Spirit. this **** sat behind the bar and no one ever ordered it, it was so lethal you could light the end of the empty bottle and flames would come out. After a bottle and a half later I was jaked and losing the plot big time, a beer fight ensued and I crashed out in the strippers changing rooms. Next thing I knew I was waking up in my flat in Gorgie with this stripper in the bed beside me and the kinda hangover where its sore to walk and the carpet makes a loud noise. I got up to the loo, looked in the mirror and noticed I had this brown **** caked round and in my lugs. I thought I was having a brain haemorrage!! Turns out Mark the sneaky turd was pouring everyone else shots of vodka and himself shots of water. The brown stuff in my ears was two hots of Baileys someone had poured in my ears when I was out for the count. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I used to work in the Western Bar when I was about 24 We had had a right rough night one night (pi5hed punters fighting, perverts at the bar etc) so Mark the owner decided we needed a lock in. There was me, mark, some other bloke and three strippers in the pub all drinking and Mark decides we need a round of Polish Pure Spirit. this **** sat behind the bar and no one ever ordered it, it was so lethal you could light the end of the empty bottle and flames would come out. After a bottle and a half later I was jaked and losing the plot big time, a beer fight ensued and I crashed out in the strippers changing rooms. Next thing I knew I was waking up in my flat in Gorgie with this stripper in the bed beside me and the kinda hangover where its sore to walk and the carpet makes a loud noise. I got up to the loo, looked in the mirror and noticed I had this brown **** caked round and in my lugs. I thought I was having a brain haemorrage!! Turns out Mark the sneaky turd was pouring everyone else shots of vodka and himself shots of water. The brown stuff in my ears was two hots of Baileys someone had poured in my ears when I was out for the count. I would normally be full of praise for guys who have pulled a stripper, but seeing as you worked in the Western Bar I won't bother. Total munters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bilstonjambo Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Goin to majorca to watch the hearts, 17 at the time me and my mate invested in a bottle of red aftershock, had a sly nip before we jumped in the car to drive through to glasgow airport, checked in and we preceeded to neck the whole bottle in the departure lounge before getting on the place, we then bought another 2 bottles out of the duty free, i can remember getting on the plane but i have no recollection of the the flight whatsoever, needless to say the 2 bottles from the duty free were drank in the next 2 days, what a quality trip that was, i would say my best time away ever. scottish cup semi final v falkirk apparently i drank 30 southern comforts and lemonade, me and my mate ended up in a house party in penicuik before leaving we half inched a packet of ginger nuts and a smoked sausage. wedding day - i was totally rat arsed, i can remember getting home but i dont know how i got up the stairs to my bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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