Seats Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 What will you call your autobiography and what is the main selling point? (unless you are buffalo bill, coz we know that one!) Mine is: "This is my story, this is my son" Subject: The (slightly middle class) rags to riches tale of a businessman making it big time and buying is beloved football team Heart of Midlothian FC. He leads the team to several league titles with his son breaking all appearance and goalscoring records for the club before acheiving Champions League success in 2030. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Title: No Eels In My Hovercraft Subject: Darkly humorous, with an undercurrent of menace, this book tells the tale of an ordinary but passionate man and his ill-fated quest to master the intricacies of the Hungarian language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boaby Ewing Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Baw Deep in Bedlam: a man's journey through more nationalities than the Hearts' first team under that Russian ^^^^. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 title: What did I just do? Synopsis: This autobiography tells of the hugely succesful writer (i dream) and runs from many embaressments, triumphs and confusion of his school days, his crazy uni days, his life as a investment banker down in London and of course his hugely popular triology. Throughout it remains a funny and emotional journey, the highs, the lows and thats just supporting his beloved Hearts. A must read for any one of a mental disposistion. One chapter title: How the film titanic ruined my life. This chapter tells how an obsession of the ship titanic when JIG was very young and growing up was brought to grinding halt by the film titanic. Meaning he was no longer unique in his knowledge and led to a life long grudge against the film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 My journey is just beginning. Everything up until now has just been preparation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 What a Waster: The tragic story of an erse who just can't say no to a good time resulting in the majority of his time spent feeling rough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven98 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Total **** An unabashed view of music business from a complete erse. Might get round to writing it before I shuffle off this mortal coil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Title-How did I get home? One mans quest to perfect the human homing signal and try to unravel the mystery of the unopened Chinese on the doorstep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DikT. Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 How to live off Daddy and Hubby. More of a guide book I would imagine than an autobiography :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad Sexington Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Chad to the Bone. How one mans extraordinary sexual magnetism became his curse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adi Dassler Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Late Nights and Dodgy Lights. How to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Chad to the Bone. How one mans extraordinary sexual magnetism became his curse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 "If I could turn back time" How one mans glittering career in politics was destroyed by getting arrested for having a cr*p on the bowling green on the Meadows after a night at the Golf Tavern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K1874M Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 He came, he saw, he got recked a bit and fell about. The Biography. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougiea Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Vladimir Romanov - my part in his downfall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fxxx the SPFL Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 (beats buffalo bills two miles) A life of squalid living five of us in a one bedroom tenament in wheatfield place, and scoring more goals than robbo at tynecastle (we used to sneak in and play at night in the dark I scored loads of goals and so did Derek O'Connor who lived two stairs down) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trotter Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 "Here for a good time, not a long time" A heart-warming tale of one man's debauched and hedonistic journey through pubs, clubs, most of europe, all sorts of drinks and mind-bending persian rugs in search of that one elusive "Epic Trance Breakdown" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Chad to the Bone. How one mans extraordinary sexual magnetism became his curse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Don't buy this pish.................he's in the pub round the corner. 1 lads drunken escapades following Hearts in various hell holes round scotland! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpyjambo Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 "If I could turn back time" How one mans glittering career in politics was destroyed by getting arrested for having a cr*p on the bowling green on the Meadows after a night at the Golf Tavern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 "If I could turn back time" How one mans glittering career in politics was destroyed by getting arrested for having a cr*p on the bowling green on the Meadows after a night at the Golf Tavern. I got sucked off there years ago. I hope it wasn't the same night/weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 '...What Happened Last Night?' The heart-rending tale of how one promising young musician's life is torn apart when she is dragged in to the bowels of the city's binge-drinking culture. That was meant to be funny but I've just realised it's more than a little poignant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griclesfield Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 2 Fat 2 Furious 1 mans tale as to the deterioration of his health through the choice of food available to him in this days society, he joins the gym only to go to pizza hut right afterwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun.lawson Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 "How to be a lifelong, good for nothing, freeloading student" - by Shaun Lawson. Alternatively: "How to make a complete erse of yourself on an internet messageboard" - by Shaun Lawson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del1812 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Masturbation, Lempsip and The Lighthouse Family. Because Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll is far too cliche. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trotter Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Masturbation, Lempsip and The Lighthouse Family. Because Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll is far too cliche. I doth my cap to you sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpyjambo Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Title -**** the Hibs A story of a lifetime of celebrating beefing the vermin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dix Handley Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 "I married a hobo midden". A true life tale of one mans meteoric fall from grace. Shunned by his family, ridiculed by mates, burgled by her "cousins". a rivetingly repulsive snapshot of a jambos own personal (maroon)heart of darkness. choke on your beer at the unremitting horror. swallow your bile as the chilling realisation looms that he may have spawned a litter of "Deeks". "OH THE HUMANITY!" "a tour de force of the scottish/sports/horror genre.. a never ending one night stand of epic "wakeing nightmare" proportions" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chewbacca Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 "i hates them faeces tae peices" the story of a hospital plumber and his battles with society, authority and the american dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stewart MacD Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 "You only get one Vlad in your Life". How one man purchased a football club for one hundred Euros from an Eastern European group wounded by the recession, and who takes this nucleus of a squad to European glory. A wager on the result of the Hearts v Celtic Champions League Final then gives him ownership of the Guinness franchise in Australia and the rest of Asia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommythejambo Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 What a Waster: The tragic story of an erse who just can't say no to a good time resulting in the majority of his time spent feeling rough. I think mine would be the exact same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dix Handley Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 I think mine would be the exact same. Think we should start a support group...which pub? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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