Most hilarious individual performance you've ever seen.

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

In keeping with the current glut of "favourite" threads, I thought I'd do one myself...

 

What's the most hilarious performance you've ever seen from a player in any game in your life? I'll tell you mine...

 

Billy Dodds for Dundee Utd at Tynie a few years back. Can't remember anything else about the game, the score or anything but I remember Dodds! For his first trick, he got sent through on goal but was given offside. Everyone stopped except Dodds, who carried on, rounded our (stationary) goalkeeper, walked it up to two yards out and... hit the post! To huge ironic cheers!

 

Second, he recieved a throw in with his back to goal, tried to knock it over his head, only succeeding in smashing the ball into his own face and falling on his arse! He was subbed shortly afterwards as it was clear nothing was going to go right for him that day!

 

I'm sure other people out there can remember funnier ones, so lets hear them!

[Drylaw Hearts]

Kevin Twaddle v Hibs.

 

Zibby v Hearts.

[Tazio]

A cup game against Ayr United where they had a truly ridiculous Icelandic (I think) keeper. Every time he came near the ball you could sense the Ayr fans despair. He actually back heeled the ball to Jim Hamilton for our last goal. I think we scored 5 that day.

[Gigolo-Aunt]

Kevin Twaddle wanted it so much as well.

[Chad Sexington]

Makela's recent performance from the subs bench would have been hilarious if I wasn't a Hearts fan.

 

You cant really see past the real King of Comedy. The one and only Zibby.

 

Take your pick from the big semi or Boxing Day performances.

 

Both comedy champagne.

[Winston Ingram]

Gary Locke, home leg v Stuttgart. A wrestling-esque clothesline on a boy, booked... promptly took out another Stuttgart player and was subbed for his own protection!

[Doctor FinnBarr]

Various performances by Walter Kidd!

 

[blairdin]

Nicky Walker against St Johnstone in a cup tie at Tynecastle.

[magicTs]

Nicky Walker against St Johnstone in a cup tie at Tynecastle.

 

Was that the 2-4 game ? That wasn't hilarious, I was apoplectic that night and gave him pelters from behind the goal in the Gorgie Road End (which for some reason, maybe the School End being built was open for Haerst fans). In the pre 98 days that was another horrendous cup result.

[Rattatooi]

Nicky Walker against St Johnstone in a cup tie at Tynecastle.

 

IIRC there were two things about that night. Firstly, We had a man sent off for handling on the line (Kevin Thomas?) when all he was really doing was showing Walker how to save a shot. Secondly, and I'm a bit vague on this as well, did we not bring a sub on and then take him off after twenty minutes because he was rubbish (Penney?). What a disaster of a night that was......

[blairdin]

Was that the 2-4 game ? That wasn't hilarious, I was apoplectic that night and gave him pelters from behind the goal in the Gorgie Road End (which for some reason, maybe the School End being built was open for Haerst fans). In the pre 98 days that was another horrendous cup result.

 

That's the game. Possibly the worse most inept goalkeeping performance I'd ever seen. It got so bad it was funny - especially since the clown prince of shortbread was being tipped as a Scotland keeper at the time!

 

Edit - it was Stevie Frail that was sent off for the save.

[Geoff Kilpatrick]

A cup game against Ayr United where they had a truly ridiculous Icelandic (I think) keeper. Every time he came near the ball you could sense the Ayr fans despair. He actually back heeled the ball to Jim Hamilton for our last goal. I think we scored 5 that day.

 

Finnbogason in the Scottish Cup QF in 1998 - we won 4-1!

[magicTs]

IIRC there were two things about that night. Firstly, We had a man sent off for handling on the line (Kevin Thomas?) when all he was really doing was showing Walker how to save a shot. Secondly, and I'm a bit vague on this as well, did we not bring a sub on and then take him off after twenty minutes because he was rubbish (Penney?). What a disaster of a night that was......

 

I think it was Tommy Harrison.

 

http://www.londonhearts.com/scores/games/19940831.html

[Pants Shaton]

Kurskis versus ICT - competition over.

[Tazio]

Finnbogason in the Scottish Cup QF in 1998 - we won 4-1!

 

That's the chappie. a performance to suit his name.

[Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC]

Wasn't exactly hilarious but Roy Keanes performance when we beat them 3-0 at Tynie.

 

I remember being excited about seeing one of my all time favourites and he was absolutely pish.

[duckandcover]

When Craig Levein subbed Stephen Simmons even though he had came on as a sub was funny, especially when Levein went mental at Simmons as he came off.

[chis101]

it would be harsh to put it down as a hillarious performance but adrian mrowiec's diving header to noone under no pressure on saturday was my funniest moment of the season so far.

[Ribble]

Alex Clelland for der Hun at Tynie, think Laudrup gave the ball to the overlapping Clelland about 30 times that day and each and every one of the resulting crosses was met with a Richie header, eventually we stopped even trying to close Clelland down and just left him with 20yards of space to still pick out Richie at the near post!

[Gershwin]

When Craig Levein subbed Stephen Simmons even though he had came on as a sub was funny, especially when Levein went mental at Simmons as he came off.

 

I remember he held his hamstring to make it look like he was injured.

[Guest JamboRobbo]

Kurskis trying to catch a ball. He should be in the circus along with Zibi the clown.

[camwil]

Willie Jonston trying to get Alex MacDonald booked by the referee for not shaking hands with him as he replaced him with 20 mins to go in a game at Tyne in the 80'S.

[Ray Winstone]

Kurskis against ICT last season.

 

I was laughing to stop me crying!

 

Truley something to marvel at.

[Buffalo Bill]

For horribly bad, see Neil Janczyk (probable spelling error) at home to ICT some time around March 2005.

 

If you remember, Hearts had more than a few injury problems for this match, so surely a chance for a hungry young player to shine?

 

Nasty.

 

 

 

And going way back to the early 90s, who remembers little Kevin McAllister perpetual slipping every time he went to take a corner in front of our beloved Shed?

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

[Brandt]

had a chuckle at one of the last games of last season when calum elliot was subbed on then off again, he went straight up the tunnel.

[Ray Winstone]

For horribly bad, see Neil Janczyk (probable spelling error) at home to ICT some time around March 2005.

 

If you remember, Hearts had more than a few injury problems for this match, so surely a chance for a hungry young player to shine?

 

Nasty.

 

 

 

And going way back to the early 90s, who remembers little Kevin McAllister perpetual slipping every time he went to take a corner in front of our beloved Shed?

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

 

IIRC is was a virus that stopped half the team playing.

 

That was the last time Janczyk played for Hearts.

[The Merse]

Makelas 20 minute cameo on the opening day.

 

Kurskis against ICT.

 

Ludek Straceny 15 minute sub on sub off performance, I forget who we were playing.

[Buffalo Bill]

That's the chappie. a performance to suit his name.

 

 

To be fair to the chappie, he did make some very good saves that day and a couple of minutes after his howler, the whistle went and both he and Hammy had a right good laugh about it. It was a nice little sporting moment (unless you were an Ayr fan, I guess).

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

[Buffalo Bill]

Apart from Twaddle, another guy who I thought had a real nightmare in the 5-1 game was the Hibs centre back.

 

Can't quite remember his name but it might have been Dempsie?

 

 

Seemed way out of his depth.

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

[einiebroon]

Didier Agathe in his first game for the hobos against us at tynie, clean through, open goal and he puts it wide. Other than that the legend that is Simon Brown letting a soft header in at the post when he thought it was going wide(also at tynie) think it was moose who scored with the header

[rudi]

Klimek trying to controle the ball,fecking hilarious.

[Buffalo Bill]

Didier Agathe in his first game for the hobos against us at tynie, clean through, open goal and he puts it wide. Other than that the legend that is Simon Brown letting a soft header in at the post when he thought it was going wide(also at tynie) think it was moose who scored with the header

 

True.

 

 

But that laddie was on fire for Hibs/Sellik for those first few weeks.

 

 

I actually left that game immediately worrying about the next derby. And as it turned out, I had every reason to do so.

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

[Guest jambomickey]

For horribly bad, see Neil Janczyk (probable spelling error) at home to ICT some time around March 2005.

 

If you remember, Hearts had more than a few injury problems for this match, so surely a chance for a hungry young player to shine?

 

Nasty.

 

 

 

And going way back to the early 90s, who remembers little Kevin McAllister perpetual slipping every time he went to take a corner in front of our beloved Shed?

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

 

would prefer to remember yanny for changing the game against the hobos at easter road! he set up kevin mckenna header and stamps winner, and he's a mayfield boy

[N User]

Mo Berthe Dundee '99.

 

Non-Hearts: Alec Cleland against (a young brilliant) Del Piero (Rangers vs Juve). I imagine Cleland still has flashbacks.

[Diego10]

if it had been against us, Kurskis against ICT would have been the funniest no question at all.

 

But hands down the best comic appearance of all time - Ray Wilkins coming on as a sub in the 4-0 doing of Hibs in Duffy's first derby. Massive round of applause from the Hearts fans, couple of aimless sideways passes to the teeth gnashing consternation of all the Hibbies. Priceless.

[malcmac]

Woodgate debut for Real Madrid! Signed then was injured for 18 months, then on debut, scored an outstanding own goal, header from 20 yards sharply followed by a red card!

 

Voted Madrid's worst signing of the century.

[Buffalo Bill]

would prefer to remember yanny for changing the game against the hobos at easter road! he set up kevin mckenna header and stamps winner, and he's a mayfield boy

 

He showed real class and potential in that early game against Hibs.

 

 

But where did it go wrong?

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

[Tazio]

He showed real class and potential in that early game against Hibs.

 

 

But where did it go wrong?

 

 

Buffalo Bill

 

.

 

He took up golf.

 

Be careful.

[duckandcover]

Didier Agathe in his first game for the hobos against us at tynie, clean through, open goal and he puts it wide. Other than that the legend that is Simon Brown letting a soft header in at the post when he thought it was going wide(also at tynie) think it was moose who scored with the header

 

Not meaning to be a smart@rse but Tam Flogel actually cleared that off the line and round the post.

[JamboJen]

Didier Agathe in his first game for the hobos against us at tynie, clean through, open goal and he puts it wide. Other than that the legend that is Simon Brown letting a soft header in at the post when he thought it was going wide(also at tynie) think it was moose who scored with the header

 

Did Flogel not clear off the line from Agathe's pathetically slow shot after rounding Niemi?

 

I always remember that match because the Hibs fans celebrated at full time like they'd won the Scottish Cup (I'd imagine :107years:), despite coming away with a 0-0 draw which they had completely dominated.

 

Forever in our shadow.

[Gabriel]

Fabian Leclerc at Easter Road in March 2000, I think. I'm not sure if he was given a man marking role on Latapy, or if Latapy just singled him out at right back, left back, and across the midfield. Hilarious with hindsight but horrendous at the time.

[The Merse]

Did Flogel not clear off the line from Agathe's pathetically slow shot after rounding Niemi?

 

I always remember that match because the Hibs fans celebrated at full time like they'd won the Scottish Cup (I'd imagine :107years:), despite coming away with a 0-0 draw which they had completely dominated.

 

Forever in our shadow.

 

Agathe blamed the length of the grass for his weak shot not crossing the line and allowing the defender to clear.

[JamboJen]

Agathe blamed the length of the grass for his weak shot not crossing the line and allowing the defender to clear.

 

[:shitwine:]

Has to be Ray Wilkins when we went to ER and won 3-1. 3-0 at half time (Cameron twice (one as Leighton dallied) and Robbo), but Hibs thought it would be a magic idea to have the long past it Wilkins against the young and lightning-quick Neil McCann. Needless to say, McCann made his decrepit marker look like a complete fool until the manager (Miller?) had to hook him.

[GlynnSnodin4-2]

Stretching the memory a wee bit here but Peter Grant for ra Celtic in the Andy Thorn game. He was absolutely murder for the whole game and Thorn was winding him up - then he got sent of and went up the tunnel and kicked a fire extinguisher Think wee robbo scored just after that but it all blurs into one really...

[monkfish1979]

Sure I remember Goram pretty much passing the ball directly into the path of one of our players whilst he was at the edge of his box a few years back. I do remember finding it hilariously funny. I loved to see Goram fail.

 

*feel free to point it out if I've dreamt this one up.

[hate_hibs]

Was that the 2-4 game ? That wasn't hilarious, I was apoplectic that night and gave him pelters from behind the goal in the Gorgie Road End (which for some reason, maybe the School End being built was open for Haerst fans). In the pre 98 days that was another horrendous cup result.

 

 

That was my 1st hearts game..

[bigwull22]

Finnbogason in the Scottish Cup QF in 1998 - we won 4-1!

 

was he not an ex hobo as well?

[magicTs]

Sure I remember Goram pretty much passing the ball directly into the path of one of our players whilst he was at the edge of his box a few years back. I do remember finding it hilariously funny. I loved to see Goram fail.

 

*feel free to point it out if I've dreamt this one up.

 

Think it was Leighton mate. His first touch was a shocker and Cameron nicked it off him and rolled it into the empty net. In another game Leighton also got his clearance charged down by Hamilton, the ball broke to Cameron about half way into the Hobo's half and he sent a great half volley over the bandy one's legs into the net. We won those games 3-1 and 4-0 if memory serves.

[monkfish1979]

Think it was Leighton mate. His first touch was a shocker and Cameron nicked it off him and rolled it into the empty net. In another game Leighton also got his clearance charged down by Hamilton, the ball broke to Cameron about half way into the Hobo's half and he sent a great half volley over the bandy one's legs into the net. We won those games 3-1 and 4-0 if memory serves.

 

My mistake. That sounds about right! Cheers man.