Doctor FinnBarr Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 We do, normally when we don't know their real names a nickname must be made up so we can identify who we're talking about, so here's what we live beside at the moment: The Smackheid: No explanation required The Red Arseholes, aka The F-Wits: 2 Cars, 2 Bikes and they drive about in formation in any combination of the 4. The Bag Lady: Cos she looks like one. Jimmy 5 Cars: So called because him and his wife have 4 cars!!!! Wiggy: Wife of 5 Cars but wears ridiculous and outlandish wigs for no real reason. All singing, All dancing boy: He used to sing rap songs to Nikki in the street whilst I would get a dance off him. Minibus Man: An arsehole of the highest order, has a motobility minibus to take his adopted handicapped daughter around in but she's lucky to get into it once a fortnight. He also knacks up the turning in the cul-de-sac by leaving the said minibus dumped out on the road even tho he has a drive for 2 vehicles. His wife is also a nasty piece of work, gave Kay an ice-pole that was 6 years out of date. The Campest dealer in town: Next doors ex, on sunny days he'll not take off his mhank top instead pulling it over his head and mincing about the street. And thats just the Scottish ones, when the Poles were here well, Granpa: He was old. Gummy: Wife of Granpa, no teeth. Gobber: Cos he always was. Stripe: Always wore clothes with stripes. The Door Knocker: Spent hours when he 1st arrived knocking on the door to get in. Monkey-Man: Could have been an extra in Planet of the Apes. Brown Suit: Wore the same brown suit for months. Brown Jacket: As above The Pervert: Thought the back garden was a bog even in the daylight. Parker: Always staring into parked cars. Beep-Beep: The noise his car alarm made when it went off on a dailly basis. Smiler: Smiled all the time. Rubber Face: Face that looked like a mask. And all that lot lived in a 2 bed roomed house at the same time! Sooo, anyone else got nicknames for theirs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I only know three of them. Annoying Australian Mail order bride and mail order bride's husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Not really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Shin Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 the stupid **** downstairs.........recovering from a nervous breakdown the sausage rolls......................new polish neighbours the old ****s next door..............always moan and never smile torn hole.................................dourest **** you've ever seen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seats Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Psyco bitch or crazy lady is the alcoholic german living next door. She goes on benders and screams for 4 or 5 days solid - nutter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toggie88 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 We had 'The Good life's' - they were constantly in their garden. 'My home town has been bombed man' - the first words he said to us. 'Happy Harry' - Always ****ed off about something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BASIL_HEARTS Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 the shagger stays 2 doors along from us and always see him coming into this fat burds hoose in afternoons and coming out with a huge grin on his face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cade Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I have the Lung Cancer 2 downstairs, who spend all day coughing up crap from their lungs then replacing it with loads of fags. And across from them are the ******, who have parties all the time and don't go to bed until Ra Polis arrive and take all their guests away in vans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_C Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Minibus Man: An arsehole of the highest order, has a motobility minibus to take his adopted handicapped daughter around in but she's lucky to get into it once a fortnight. He also knacks up the turning in the cul-de-sac by leaving the said minibus dumped out on the road even tho he has a drive for 2 vehicles. His wife is also a nasty piece of work, gave Kay an ice-pole that was 6 years out of date. We had one of them stay across the road from us, he had a huge minibus which he parked on the street and if you had the audacity to park outside his house he would shout at you "where am i supposed to park my bus!" which earned him the nickname "Blaikie" - I'll get you Butler...mmmaaahhhh We also live next door to The Clampetts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 ***t with bike - this guy isn't even my neighbour - he lives round the corner maybe 10-15 houses away, but he has these vintage motorbikes from like the war, and he goes about the street on then wearing those stupid goggles. The reason he is a **** is because since the bike belongs in a museum, it's really loud and you can hear it streets away, and he starts it at 7 or 8 in the morning at the weekend and leaves it ticking over in the street, revving it every now and then; it actually sounds like a jumbo jet taking off and he insists on doing it when clearly every sane person is in bed trying to sleep off a hangover! Raging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Jimmy 5 Cars: So called because him and his wife have 4 cars!!!! Ummm, at the risk of stating the obvious, should it not be Jimmy 4 cars? I don't have names for my nieghbours yet, but my mum calls hers the clampets, and she's not far wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shona77 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I've got - The Geeks - socially inept pair who barely say hello Disco Dave - he just loves his happy hardcore. ^^^^ Sexy Bitch - she had a Sexy Bitches drive Red Cars sticker in her motor (she's pretty far from sexy imho) Chelsea Dagger - Sexy Bitches other half. Goes mental during the Chelsea games The Polish Bouncer - not sure if he's Polish or a bouncer but looks like he must be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ummm, at the risk of stating the obvious, should it not be Jimmy 4 cars? I don't have names for my nieghbours yet, but my mum calls hers the clampets, and she's not far wrong! It should be but its a Nikki and Kay thing and who am I, a mere man to argue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Haggis Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 We do, normally when we don't know their real names a nickname must be made up so we can identify who we're talking about, so here's what we live beside at the moment: The Smackheid: No explanation required The Red Arseholes, aka The F-Wits: 2 Cars, 2 Bikes and they drive about in formation in any combination of the 4. The Bag Lady: Cos she looks like one. Jimmy 5 Cars: So called because him and his wife have 4 cars!!!! Wiggy: Wife of 5 Cars but wears ridiculous and outlandish wigs for no real reason. All singing, All dancing boy: He used to sing rap songs to Nikki in the street whilst I would get a dance off him. Minibus Man: An arsehole of the highest order, has a motobility minibus to take his adopted handicapped daughter around in but she's lucky to get into it once a fortnight. He also knacks up the turning in the cul-de-sac by leaving the said minibus dumped out on the road even tho he has a drive for 2 vehicles. His wife is also a nasty piece of work, gave Kay an ice-pole that was 6 years out of date. The Campest dealer in town: Next doors ex, on sunny days he'll not take off his mhank top instead pulling it over his head and mincing about the street. And thats just the Scottish ones, when the Poles were here well, Granpa: He was old. Gummy: Wife of Granpa, no teeth. Gobber: Cos he always was. Stripe: Always wore clothes with stripes. The Door Knocker: Spent hours when he 1st arrived knocking on the door to get in. Monkey-Man: Could have been an extra in Planet of the Apes. Brown Suit: Wore the same brown suit for months. Brown Jacket: As above The Pervert: Thought the back garden was a bog even in the daylight. Parker: Always staring into parked cars. Beep-Beep: The noise his car alarm made when it went off on a dailly basis. Smiler: Smiled all the time. Rubber Face: Face that looked like a mask. And all that lot lived in a 2 bed roomed house at the same time! Sooo, anyone else got nicknames for theirs? WTF where do you live? Loving 'Brown Suit' man though - Genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 WTF where do you live? Loving 'Brown Suit' man though - Genius. Blackburn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_C Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I've got - The Geeks - socially inept pair who barely say hello Disco Dave - he just loves his happy hardcore. ^^^^ Sexy Bitch - she had a Sexy Bitches drive Red Cars sticker in her motor (she's pretty far from sexy imho) Chelsea Dagger - Sexy Bitches other half. Goes mental during the Chelsea games The Polish Bouncer - not sure if he's Polish or a bouncer but looks like he must be Is that the guy who drives about with Chelsea written on his car??? For a small place Tayport is the meeting place of the lost and the damned when it comes to these folk... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Incidentally, one of my neighbours is known as Hearts Physio Guy, for obvious reasons. Don't know if he reads this, if so, hi! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Delboy and Boycie lived across the road until they sold on to Posh and Becks, Shell Suit Bob (he is his double) Rod Hull (and she's a woman) Roman Polanski, we think he's been hiding out there since WWII Auld Aggie - local noseycow, she's gone now though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lookoutjoe Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Fat Tw@t and The O.C.D Hoorbag. He is a 'Big Old Unit' who throws out all his leftovers to feed the birds on the patch of grass at the front of the house. When I say all the leftovers I mean tattie peelings,teabags and chicken carcasses. I swear there are seagulls around my house that are bigger than me! She is a total basket case who wears her dressing gown everywhere she goes. She hoses down her slabbed back garden at least twice a day. Even if it has been raining she is out there for at least twenty minutes washing all her dust and pebbles into my back garden. Also she always has to park in the space closest to her house. If someone else is in her space she will wait until they move their car and then take that space. It doesn't matter what time of day or night this is. Mental. Her daughter is quite fit though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny Crane Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Right now, I've nicknamed the people across the road from me "total (mod edits)" as its approaching half two in the morning and they have this strange notion that I wish to hear their foul record collection at full volume (and yes I did phone the chocolate brigade to complain but it appears tonight is the big pool match between DCI Twonk and DS Prat!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 All of mine's are called Weegie *****. The End. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Macaroons Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Blackburn. you must b a right nosey tw@t ps im just across wi the stripey red curtains Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Templeton Peck Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Roman Polanski, we think he's been hiding out there since WWII I think you'll find this old wankpiece was called "Herbie" for no other reason than he goes bananas at the bloody washing!! He may have lived in the street since the war, but we were never sure what side he ended up on. A right miserable git, He ruled the street parking with swift of authority. Always the stickler. No parking around his house, point blank. Anyone else was swiftly tracked down from their house, humiliated in the street and moved on. Surveying of the street was regular, from early am hours, Sans vest and pants, to late evening in his slippers and vest. This was a regular occurance. But everyone should move for his Trabant (Sorry red Ford Orion) This never stopped him on one occasion going out at 6 am to a non existent job and hitting black ice. Dragging the red motor up three cars, dumping his car so nobody else could move for the rest of the morning. This was until the vodka had worn off. I swear this guy is one short of Anthony Gecas. Let him find me and find me out. His harbourer has since moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Jambo 60 Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Incidentally, one of my neighbours is known as Hearts Physio Guy, for obvious reasons. Don't know if he reads this, if so, hi! Stevie a hibee nice guy his father in law mmmmmm go to the vet:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boaby Ewing Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Stevie a hibee nice guy his father in law mmmmmm go to the vet:eek: What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest juvehearts Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 we are very good friends with our neighbours. we call our next door across the stair (******) - that just is for everything. the guy down the stairs must grow his own stach of grass - hash man! our house is ALWAYS warm! jay & silent bob - you never hear them & theyre gay. (up the stairs left) the adams family one wee little sheet of a bairn & the mum is a pure munter. the father looks like the grinch. downstair left - is an empty house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Stevie a hibee nice guy his father in law mmmmmm go to the vet:eek: ....you can't be talking about Allan Brown??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I live next to Shrek and her kids. Not the most attractive lady, but the wonder of alcohol once again has increased the population of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Tag - Guy who used to live over fence who has an electronic tag. Pink Bin - The girl who lives in house below tag's old house who decided at 8pm one night when the rain was bouncing off the ground to paint her front step bright Pink ( a council house btw) and she nicked our recycle bin and and put stickers with her house number on it trying to claim both bins were hers, and uses neither to recycle but as normal bins. Super Ally - Guy who lives in Tags house now, every Saturday/Sunday morning i would get up and his car would be parked all over pavement in random directions (once half in garden across road) and he had obviously been on the drink and drove home( not seen his car in while so assuming he has been done for it) Vidiprinter - Guy across street who whenever Rangers core would cheer that fecking loud could hear it above my own tv. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Incidentally, one of my neighbours is known as Hearts Physio Guy, for obvious reasons. Don't know if he reads this, if so, hi! I have been corrected, this guy is actually Hearts Masseur Guy and his name is Alan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narrative Arc Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 ma mate sais there used to be a girl who lived next to him who was supposed to have had two abortions before she was 17. So they used to call her Arnie efter Terminator 2. ps no mine! Just sticking to the theme of the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 We've got a pair of grumpy old men in the flat above us known as "the p00fs on the roof". Not very PC I know, but we didn't start it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paws (FTH) Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 ma mate sais there used to be a girl who lived next to him who was supposed to have had two abortions before she was 17. So they used to call her Arnie efter Terminator 2. ps no mine! Just sticking to the theme of the thread. I knew a guy (not a neighbour) nicknamed the Sperminator: 10 kids at last count Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy1874hmfc Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I call my next door neighbour 'The guy next door' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 I call my next door neighbour 'The guy next door' Loadsa thought went into that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
special-k Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 That's Genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 That's Genius! What is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 used to call the people down the street the gaelic boys because they spoke gaelic. Apart from that no, it's a very dull street with a lot of old people who find the time to complain about anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maroon Mayhem Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Apparently the taxi drivers call our street swingers avenue. We all now eye each other in mild suspicion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I've never given my neighbours a nickname but, quite ironically, my genitalia are nicknamed, "The Neighbours". How about that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
269miles Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 'Beep beep man' lives a few doors away. So called by the kids because he always beeps his horn at them when they're playing in the front garden. He seems to think they're gonna spontaneously run out in front of him. 'The dwarf' is a thoroughly dislikeable kid of retarded growth who lives nearby and is a pain in the ass. He lives with the Clampetts , who would steal the fillings out yer teeth. Their other son is Cozy Powell (for older readers) as he constantly plays his drum kit at full tilt with all the windows open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H J Simpson Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Apparently the taxi drivers call our street swingers avenue. We all now eye each other in mild suspicion. Where would that be............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo1874 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 The woman next door to me is 'The Dutchess', a horrible, snooty old woman who has made it her mission to moan about everything and generally get up people's noses. When I lived in one of my previous flats we had names for a lot of our neighbours: The Bitch : named because we were jealous she kept buying lots of new stuff when she moved in (how sad are we). She moved out and her dad moved in and he was referred to as The Bitch's Dad. She was probably a very nice girl. The B.T.G. : (big tall guy) Pug Face : a not very attractive woman. When she shacked up with a new man he was simply known as The Guy Pug Face Snared. The Air Hostess : girl who always had a flight bag with her (don't know if that's what she does). We have nicknames for a lot of the characters in our local ie : 80's Guy : still dresses from the era he was in his prime The Cadaver : has a deathly pallor Baseball-Cap Guy : never seen without one The Bigot : heard being very abusive to a Polish bar maid The Devil's Pensioner : has wee tufts of hair that look like horns coming out the side of his head Captain Mannering : look-a-like The Godfather Angry Man etc etc we're well aware that these people will have not so flattering nicknames for us as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maroonlegions Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 curtain twitcher s or nosy b*******.:107years: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I dubbed my flatmate Mingebeard The Pirate on account of his disgusting facial hair. Thankfully, he's had a shave and a wash and now looks like he works in a bank. I now simply refer to him as "The Freak" and avoid him like Christopher Ecclestone's character from Shallow Grave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewood Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 In my old house we had Ron the Tranny on one side and the bird bint on the other. Ron the Tranny was an old Hobo fan who used to scream through the wall when the tramps scored. One day I got a call from another neighbour who told me to go upstairs and look out the back window. There was Big Ron wandering about dressed as an old woman complete with head scarf, skirt and high heeled shoes. Tremendous! The bird bint used to feed so many birds and cats that our house and cars got **** on constantly. My dad was on his way home from the boozer one night and decided to get his own back so he climbed over the fence and let her tyres down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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