the snip

[Eckauskas]

No ****ing way.

 

Ever.

[Civil Jambo]

Cmon now be a real man and do it, your wife will thank you for it and what she would have to go through would be a million times worse . I not had any kids myself yet but once i have had three i would happily get it done to keep the sex life going

[maroonman]

I said that I would never get it done , after my mates op went badly wrong , he ended up in hospital for nearly a week after having to be rushed back into hospital with internal bleeding the same day he got "done", so my wife got sterilized instead.

[brownkg]

My wife just told me " no way you are getting near me with that thing again! used it twice and it's gone off each time!" 14 years without seems just like several lifetimes:mad:

[The Doctor]

Got it done about a year ago, wouldn't have bothered if I'd known the wife wasn't immediately going to turn back into the sex kitten I fell for many years ago! Also, dunno how to put this but basically the sensation of the ejaculation isn't quite as intense any more. Oh, I forgot to mention, I thought I'd be the hero and was back at work by lunchtime on the day I had it done, felt like I'd been kicked in the knackers every day for about 2 months afterwards.

 

On the plus side, no more unexpected little darlings!!!!!

 

I'll come back to this point.

 

I got mine done a year ago and it was awful, the worst and most traumatic thing I've ever voluntarily done to myself.

 

I had two surgeons, one a woman who was learning to do the op as one of the other surgeons had tragically been killed a few weeks before. I think they did one each. I also think I have one cut and tied and one clipped. The humiliation is unbelievable.

 

It started for me before anyone went anywhere near me with a knife. I was deemed to be obese as my BMI is up around 35, so I had to go in the day before so that a surgeon could examine my baws to make sure they could find them through the layers of fat apparently. That basically just involved allowing a strange man to manipulate my scrotum after I'd dropped my jeans whilst standing in front of him. He never even offered to buy me a drink.

 

On the day of the op, once you're standing there naked from the waist down, the first thing they do is wash you down in lukewarm soapy water. I say lukewarm, it was basically cold. This doesn't do much for your self esteem, what little I had basically disappeared altogether. It must have been looking at a button mushroom. Then they swab you in iodine, which runs around your groin area like fake tan, before the injection of anaesthetic.

 

I have a friend in the ERI just now, I went to see him last week and he was moaning about getting an injection in his foot, moaning like a six year old girl. I told him that I'd taken one in the sack, that shut him up.

 

The pain is bad, bearable, but far from pleasant. I didn't feel the incision, but the rummaging about in my bawsack for the next twenty minutes was awful. I couldn't believe the amount of rummaging involved. I wondered what exactly they looking for in there. It wasn't so much painful as very uncomfortable. Like if you get your nuts squeezed, gently at first, then tighter and tighter as if they're in a vice and you get that pain in your gut, that's what it was like. It moved on to feeling like I was getting kicked in the knackers over and over again. Horrible.

 

It seemed to go on for ages, but eventually they put a couple of stitches in and sent me on my way. The anaesthetic wears off after a couple of hours and it was pretty uncomfortable, tight pants helped as did regular paracetamol, but I had no idea that the fun was just beginning.

 

The bruising was unsightly, but the infection around the wound caused me to have my jewels, useless as they now were, in the hands of an A&E nurse four days later. The pus seeping from my scrotum was quite disconcerting and the pain and itching were uncomfortable to say the least. She was lovely though, kind and gentle, old enough to be my mother which was a blessing, but really, vasectomy is the op that just keeps on humiliating.

 

The stitches, which were supposed to dissolve kept catching on whatever underthings I chose to gird my pointless loins with, they turned black with the infection and kept pulling the wound open, causing it bleed and seep. After a few days I cut them out myself with sharp scissors and tweezers. It was really only then that the wound began to heal. I have a lovely lump of scar tissue on the side of my nads now, I still feel the odd twinge to this day.

 

BUT, I could cope with all of that, really, it's over, I'm firing blanks, which was the object of the exercise and the pain and humiliation is but a distant bad memory. The worst thing, the thing they never tell you about is that ejaculation does not feel the same.

 

That's left me feeling angry and let down.

 

That empty, satisfied, relaxed feeling, I don't get that anymore. I 'arrive' ok, no problem, but it's less powerful somehow, it's like a ghost of early orgasm.

 

I regret getting it done, absolutely, unequivocally. Not for the result, I'm a happy jaffa, but I'll never shoot with the same satisfaction again. I feel 'full' all the time, even immediately post coitus.

Don't do it.

 

Have babies, be happy.

 

Also my baws are hanging lower than ever, that could be my age, but it was a rapid downward decline post op.

[The Old Tolbooth]

 

I got mine done a year ago and it was awful, the worst and most traumatic thing I've ever voluntarily done to myself.

 

.

 

No wonder it was sore, I got a qualified surgeon to do mine.

[Larry]

No wonder it was sore, I got a qualified surgeon to do mine.

 

[Tazio]

 

DIY

[The Doctor]

No wonder it was sore, I got a qualified surgeon to do mine.

 

'S a good point John, the rusty kitchen knife did nothing to improve my situation.

 

(I meant that I'd put myself in the position (that would be prostate, with my kecks round my ankles and my tiny acorn on show to all and sundry), it was no accident or necessary op. Pedant...)

[hughesie27]

I'll come back to this point.

 

I got mine done a year ago and it was awful, the worst and most traumatic thing I've ever voluntarily done to myself.

 

I had two surgeons, one a woman who was learning to do the op as one of the other surgeons had tragically been killed a few weeks before. I think they did one each. I also think I have one cut and tied and one clipped. The humiliation is unbelievable.

 

It started for me before anyone went anywhere near me with a knife. I was deemed to be obese as my BMI is up around 35, so I had to go in the day before so that a surgeon could examine my baws to make sure they could find them through the layers of fat apparently. That basically just involved allowing a strange man to manipulate my scrotum after I'd dropped my jeans whilst standing in front of him. He never even offered to buy me a drink.

 

On the day of the op, once you're standing there naked from the waist down, the first thing they do is wash you down in lukewarm soapy water. I say lukewarm, it was basically cold. This doesn't do much for your self esteem, what little I had basically disappeared altogether. It must have been looking at a button mushroom. Then they swab you in iodine, which runs around your groin area like fake tan, before the injection of anaesthetic.

 

I have a friend in the ERI just now, I went to see him last week and he was moaning about getting an injection in his foot, moaning like a six year old girl. I told him that I'd taken one in the sack, that shut him up.

 

The pain is bad, bearable, but far from pleasant. I didn't feel the incision, but the rummaging about in my bawsack for the next twenty minutes was awful. I couldn't believe the amount of rummaging involved. I wondered what exactly they looking for in there. It wasn't so much painful as very uncomfortable. Like if you get your nuts squeezed, gently at first, then tighter and tighter as if they're in a vice and you get that pain in your gut, that's what it was like. It moved on to feeling like I was getting kicked in the knackers over and over again. Horrible.

 

It seemed to go on for ages, but eventually they put a couple of stitches in and sent me on my way. The anaesthetic wears off after a couple of hours and it was pretty uncomfortable, tight pants helped as did regular paracetamol, but I had no idea that the fun was just beginning.

 

The bruising was unsightly, but the infection around the wound caused me to have my jewels, useless as they now were, in the hands of an A&E nurse four days later. The pus seeping from my scrotum was quite disconcerting and the pain and itching were uncomfortable to say the least. She was lovely though, kind and gentle, old enough to be my mother which was a blessing, but really, vasectomy is the op that just keeps on humiliating.

 

The stitches, which were supposed to dissolve kept catching on whatever underthings I chose to gird my pointless loins with, they turned black with the infection and kept pulling the wound open, causing it bleed and seep. After a few days I cut them out myself with sharp scissors and tweezers. It was really only then that the wound began to heal. I have a lovely lump of scar tissue on the side of my nads now, I still feel the odd twinge to this day.

 

BUT, I could cope with all of that, really, it's over, I'm firing blanks, which was the object of the exercise and the pain and humiliation is but a distant bad memory. The worst thing, the thing they never tell you about is that ejaculation does not feel the same.

 

That's left me feeling angry and let down.

 

That empty, satisfied, relaxed feeling, I don't get that anymore. I 'arrive' ok, no problem, but it's less powerful somehow, it's like a ghost of early orgasm.

 

I regret getting it done, absolutely, unequivocally. Not for the result, I'm a happy jaffa, but I'll never shoot with the same satisfaction again. I feel 'full' all the time, even immediately post coitus.

 

Don't do it.

 

Have babies, be happy.

 

Also my baws are hanging lower than ever, that could be my age, but it was a rapid downward decline post op.

If there is one thing we could say about The Doctor, he paints a pretty picture.

Had about 3 cringe moments while reading that.

[The Old Tolbooth]

'S a good point John, the rusty kitchen knife did nothing to improve my situation.

 

(I meant that I'd put myself in the position (that would be prostate, with my kecks round my ankles and my tiny acorn on show to all and sundry), it was no accident or necessary op. Pedant...)

 

Pedant?

 

Moi??

 

[Doctor FinnBarr]

'S a good point John, the rusty kitchen knife did nothing to improve my situation.

 

(I meant that I'd put myself in the position (that would be prostate, with my kecks round my ankles and my tiny acorn on show to all and sundry), it was no accident or necessary op. Pedant...)

 

No prob if she swallows!

 

[The Doctor]

No prob if she swallows!

 

 

Does gargling count?

[Beverley]

this thread is the funniest thing i've read since the last rangers one

 

 

times like this i'm glad to be female

[hughesie27]

Beverely, men are joining together in a common tear jerker. Leave us alone.

[Goose Baxter]

Dont get it done mate, think of the pain.

 

Just do what my signature says

[Sharpie]

Done it in 1971, the wife was totally against the pill, and the alternative was her getting tubes tied. We had two kids, and what ever happened I was not interested in any more.

 

The surgery was fairly simple, but I still remember the stomach turning sensation of the tubes being pulled down. I had an unfortunate happening post surgery. I had worked night shift the night before, and fell asleep in the chair at home shortly after the surgery. Somebody knocked loudly on the front door, and woke me up, I forgot about the recent happening and jumped up and ran downstairs, no one there,fortunately as I collapsed on the floor in abject pain. I as others experienced the following few days of pain and swelling, but got totally frustrated at having to use a condom for a period to ensure all the little swimmers weren't, and submit the samples for testing.

 

Was it worth it, I wouldn't want to do it again, but the wife sure appreciated it for at least a week, then it was back to, I am too tired, the kids are still up, and are you a machine you just had it at Christmas, and this was May. To each his own and it is a very individual decision.

[Stewart MacD]

I got mine done privately in Darlington

 

 

So you can have it done publicly? Is there an admission fee?

[eddie fenwick]

 

DIY

 

thanks taz mate,im at t5his moment sitting doubled up:confused:

[Deek]

Was it worth it, I wouldn't want to do it again

 

If you could Bob, you should be in a circus.

[Jamdub]

Don't interfere with nature.

[systemx]

Best bit is a couple of weeks after getting the missus to help you cum into the specimen jar.

 

Only two places I,ve seen the overhead of the city,Dean Terrace and my dentist!!!

[scott herbertson]

Had it done a few years back

 

I've always doubted that levitation was possible but as the anasthaetic didn't work for me I actually proved it. I got my whole body at least 9 inches off the operating table (and no, I wasn't facing down ).

 

I wondered where the sound of screaming was coming from then realised it was me!

 

The young aussie doctor I had just peed himself laughing and said - "come on I thought you scottish guys were supposed to be hard men!"

 

 

So I'd throroughly recommend it

 

[Darth Jambo]

I'm gutted this thread wasn't up before I got it done, although the chortling I have had at others expense was maybe worth it (Probably not!)

 

Suppose it depends on your circumstances but with 4 lovely darlings to show for 4 outings of the old man I was frighteneed to sneeze near my better half!

 

Some lovely pictures have been conjured up though:p

[Stuart Lyon]

Great thread - almost brought tears (of laughter) to my eyes. The Docs contribution was awesome and I think he should consider making his experience into a documentary!

[JALBO]

Don't do it. Not in Glasgow at least. A friend of mine plucked up the courage to get it done, and in between all the squealing and groaning he noticed that they hadn't even shut the door to the room that they were fumbling around in. He had to ask the doctors to move the audience along and close the door.

 

Apart from all that, the future of Jambo-kind is at stake, and I'm prepared to do my bit to keep Jambos churning out. At least that's my line and I'm sticking with it.

[Goldstone Wonder]

I had mine done in the Vic in Kirkcaldy the Monday before Gretna Cup Final. I was concerned I wouldn't be fit enough to go to the Cup Final but I was fine. By the Friday I was playing a round of golf.

 

It was much less painful than root canal work. Not something I would want to do again but really no big deal at all. My surgeon recommended that I buy some pairs of briefs (which I never wear) a size too small for me and wear them constantly for a fortnight. That way there is nowhere for the swelling to go.

 

The worst/funniest/most embarrassing bit was having to knock one out 8 weeks later on a Monday morning in the loo before I went to work. Probably the least enjoyable ham shank i have ever had.

[Deek]

For those of you found it difficult.

 

[Deek]

And one to make your toes curl.

 

[Forza Cuore]

Jeez...this is making ma nads twinge ....not in a good way

 

Got mine done about month and a half ago...so still in the waiting period before I send the wee fellies away for testing.

 

Wo befckn tide if they come back positive and I have to go through that again!!

 

It's was sore to think about before hand, ridiculous feeling whilst it happened and the boy doing the ripping is talking about Holidays and Lager like it's the flippin hairdressers or summit. And my god it was painful afterwords as many have already said.

 

The big thing though.......I don't want any more sleep thiefs in the house and didn't fancy the Mrs being laid up for days....so did the "right" thing. Or so I'm trying to convince myself.

[rossaldinho]

this thread is the funniest thing i've read since the last rangers one

 

 

times like this i'm glad to be female

 

This thread is hilarious. Haven't laughed so much for ages.

 

You guys are wimps!! It's only a few snips for goodness sake.:p

[pammiep]

This thread is hilarious. Haven't laughed so much for ages.

 

You guys are wimps!! It's only a few snips for goodness sake.:p

 

 

Just realised I've posted that under my son's username. Oops:o

[Sawdust Caesar]

I would never have guessed so many JKB blokes have had it done.

What's wrong with just doing the money shot, or is that out of fashion now?

[Miller Jambo 60]

Just had it done at Dean terrace and the aerial view of Edinburgh is nice, although difficult to concentrate on when a chappie is fiddling with your bits! the op is itself is nothing the aftermath in my case has been a disaster, b***ocks the size of golf balls, muchos bruising and burst stiches.

 

Sure it's short term pain for long term gain and all that but don't rush!!

 

thats where i got butchered , bloomin sore.

i had the trainee snipper watching as well

[The Old Tolbooth]

Don't interfere with nature.

 

It's because he interfered with nature in the first place that his nads are getting chopped, he's got his dog pregnant!

[chester copperpot]

i know why you want me to get it done;)

 

 

 

Just got to this post and nearly fell off my chair.

 

Best line I've heard for a while EF.

[chester copperpot]

I would never have guessed so many JKB blokes have had it done.

What's wrong with just doing the money shot, or is that out of fashion now?

 

 

 

You're clearly not married. One of women's snares to get you to marry them, then as soon as the rings on the finger, its a big no no.

 

Same with anal sex.

[chester copperpot]

It's because he interfered with nature in the first place that his nads are getting chopped, he's got his dog pregnant!

 

 

 

Thats biologically impossible John, but rather than bamboozle you, I'll just laugh along

 

This thread has had me in stitches (no pun intended)

[The Old Tolbooth]

Thats biologically impossible John, but rather than bamboozle you, I'll just laugh along

 

This thread has had me in stitches (no pun intended)

 

I'm just waiting on EF's response coming back to that one cos I've left myself wide open there

[chester copperpot]

I'm just waiting on EF's response coming back to that one cos I've left myself wide open there

 

 

 

By responding to it, you've kinda covered yourself mate.

 

If Eddie's too much of a pussy to stand up to his wife, then he's too much of a pussy to answer you back.

 

FWIW, the missus asked me 2 years ago to go for the snip at the age of 31, I told her to F.O. Why doesn't she go for one and save us the bother. Mind you, I still use the withdrawel technique these days. .

 

Not from her though

[alwaysthereinspirit]

First snip on my right testie was fine. No pain.

Second snip on my left testie was somewhat different. I could feel my doctor pull the tube and I swear to God it made the left side of my mouth drop. Who ever thought they were connected.

[The Old Tolbooth]

 

 

FWIW, the missus asked me 2 years ago to go for the snip at the age of 31, I told her to F.O. Why doesn't she go for one and save us the bother. Mind you, I still use the withdrawel technique these days. .

 

Not from her though

 

 

Your wife has a boaby???

 

You ever been to Thailand?

[chester copperpot]

Your wife has a boaby???

 

You ever been to Thailand?

 

 

 

He he she might as well have.

[Sharpie]

Was it worth it' date=' I wouldn't want to do it again

 

If you could Bob, you should be in a circus.

 

Funny you should mentiomn that, the nurse did mention that the last time she had held something like that was when she got to feed an elephant at the circus and had to lift its trunk to do so.

[Deek]

Was it worth it' date=' I wouldn't want to do it again

 

Funny you should mentiomn that, the nurse did mention that the last time she had held something like that was when she got to feed an elephant at the circus and had to lift its trunk to do so.[/quote']

 

[Tams bird]

First snip on my right testie was fine. No pain.

Second snip on my left testie was somewhat different. I could feel my doctor pull the tube and I swear to God it made the left side of my mouth drop. Who ever thought they were connected.

 

:4_1_72:

 

 

This thread is hilarious, making me cringe though...

[eddie fenwick]

I'm just waiting on EF's response coming back to that one cos I've left myself wide open there

 

only just seen it mate,some quotes dont need a response as i dont know wether your talking about f*****g daisy or tracy

[Craig_]

S'funny. I came on this thread expecting the usual dirge from Toggie and Therapist...

 

Then I realised I'd read the title wrong!

[dodethejambo]

I had mine done in the Vic in Kirkcaldy the Monday before Gretna Cup Final. I was concerned I wouldn't be fit enough to go to the Cup Final but I was fine. By the Friday I was playing a round of golf.

 

It was much less painful than root canal work. Not something I would want to do again but really no big deal at all. My surgeon recommended that I buy some pairs of briefs (which I never wear) a size too small for me and wear them constantly for a fortnight. That way there is nowhere for the swelling to go.

 

The worst/funniest/most embarrassing bit was having to knock one out 8 weeks later on a Monday morning in the loo before I went to work. Probably the least enjoyable ham shank i have ever had.

 

How the **** did you get them off after a fortnight, Hammer & Chisel

[The Old Tolbooth]

only just seen it mate,some quotes dont need a response as i dont know wether your talking about f*****g daisy or tracy

 

 

 

Your SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lucky Tracy doesn't read this mate