What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan?

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I've got three examples that i can't believe I had to explain:

 

1. That your goal difference can't possibly go up if you get beat.

 

2. How a team can clinch the title without playing, if their nearest challengers lose. (Specifically Liverpool a couple years ago.)

 

3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. 

 

Anyone got any others?

[If carlsberg did rivals...]

Not football but horse racing, was trying to pick some nags many years ago with my wife next to me in the bookies, one horse had nap next to his name. She asked if that meant it had a sleep before the race! Obviously I told her that's exactly what it meant!

[Bungalow Bill]

Found myself explaining to folk around me quite a few times why the linesman hasn’t put their flag up straight away until the phase of play is over. Folk going mental at the linesman for following the new rule. 
 

Clearly not the daftest though. 

Edited March 30 by Bungalow Bill

[jr ewing]

No offside at throw ins.

[Lovecraft]

How being offside is 2 players behind the player, not just 1.

 

 

Edited March 30 by Lovecraft

[Harry Potter]

5 minutes ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said:

I've got three examples that i can't believe I had to explain:

 

1. That your goal difference can't possibly go up if you get beat.

 

2. How a team can clinch the title without playing, if their nearest challengers lose. (Specifically Liverpool a couple years ago.)

 

3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. 

 

Anyone got any others?

Had my x wife at a game, wondered why the teams were shooting the wrong way in the 2nd half😏.

[CostaJambo]

A random once asked my son what time the game started and when my son replied "Kick-off's at quarter to eight" the guy said "Is that when the game starts?".

 

Another one pre-internet my brother and I were watching one of those football funnies videos with the silly clips and my first wife's sister's boyfriend who was a total hooray henry wanders in, looks at the screen and says, "Number one, is he the goalie?".

[EH11 2NL]

6 minutes ago, Bungalow Bill said:

Found myself explaining to folk around me quite a few times why the linesman hasn’t put their flag up straight away until the phase of play is over. Folk going mental at the linesman for following the new rule. 
 

Clearly not the daftest though. 

Don't understand how people can't follow the reasoning, had this one a few times myself. 

[ShedBoy]

Offside at a goal kick.

 

FFS

[Tazio]

A particularly posh boss I had once expressed astonishment that I was going to a game on Saturday. “But you were there on Wednesday as well”. I’m not sure he fully understood that every game is different to the last one. 

[ShedBoy]

If a keeper takes a goal kick into wind and it blows back into his goal.

 

It’s a corner.

[William H. Bonney]

I once had to correct a friend who was constantly berating Gary Mackay during a game. 

1. It wasnt Gary Mackay

2. He wasn't even on the field 

[AlphonseCapone]

10 minutes ago, EH11 2NL said:

Don't understand how people can't follow the reasoning, had this one a few times myself. 

 

I think a lot of folk do but voice frustration at the rule rather than lack of understanding it. So "put your ****ing flag up" isn't necessarily that folk don't know why the linesman hasn't and more venting about the rule.

[AlphonseCapone]

10 minutes ago, ShedBoy said:

If a keeper takes a goal kick into wind and it blows back into his goal.

 

It’s a corner.

 

That's you trying to act clever rather than actually properly responding to the thread imo.

[Jeff]

Played at the charity event at Tynecastle before the old stand was knocked down and my ma asked which stand it was that they were knocking down...

 

The yin with the bulldozers you tube

[Carl Fredrickson]

Explaining to a colleague at work (celtic minded) that a kick in the pus is a red card offence. 

[Seaside Dave]

Just because I am of protestant faith and I'm a member of a flute band that doesn't mean you have to support rangers. 

 

You can actually separate the 2 and don't need to bring it into football 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

45 minutes ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said:

L

2. How a team can clinch the title without playing, if their nearest challengers lose. (Specifically Liverpool a couple years ago.)

 

 

I want to clarify this one, I couldn't believe it at the time. 

 

Two boys at work were taking and one of them said "Apparently Liverpool can win the league tonight, even though they're not playing, how does that work?" And the other boy said it wasn't actually possible, as even though they were 20-odd points behind, even if they got beat, they'd be the same number of points behind, "it's not like they lose points if they get beat."

 

I had to explain to them both how they'd have one less game to play. 

Edited March 30 by Stupid Sexy Flanders

[SectionG]

30 minutes ago, ShedBoy said:

If a keeper takes a goal kick into wind and it blows back into his goal.

 

It’s a corner.

Knew this rule, but now that they take them short and ball doesn’t need to come out of box, it may be something that changes, although it’s highly unlikely the keeper is going to kick it into his own net.

[Morgan]

Two:

 

The offside trap.

 

And, to my best friends, both of whom are American - Players can play in the Scottish leagues without actually being Scottish.  

 

 

[Fozzyonthefence]

8 minutes ago, Seaside Dave said:

Just because I am of protestant faith and I'm a member of a flute band that doesn't mean you have to support rangers. 

 

You can actually separate the 2 and don't need to bring it into football 

Usually means you’re a bigot though so it’s not a huge leap.  I wish it wasn’t brought into football.  

[Seaside Dave]

6 minutes ago, Fozzyonthefence said:

Usually means you’re a bigot though so it’s not a huge leap.  I wish it wasn’t brought into football.  

Isn't brought into football from myself anyways. I know how to separate it 😃

[Fozzyonthefence]

1 minute ago, Seaside Dave said:

Isn't brought into football from myself anyways. I know how to separate it 😃

You know how to separate being a bigot from football?  Glad to hear it.

[been here before]

58 minutes ago, If carlsberg did rivals... said:

Not football but horse racing, was trying to pick some nags many years ago with my wife next to me in the bookies, one horse had nap next to his name. She asked if that meant it had a sleep before the race! Obviously I told her that's exactly what it meant!

 

I mind being at the racing at Musselburgh years back and having to explain to the lassie I was with that the weight on the racecard was the weight the horse was carrying and not the combined weight of the horse and jockey.

 

[martoon]

The away goal rule.

 

A relative of mine just could not get his head around it. It didn’t help that he couldn't let go of the "away goals count double" notion.

 

No one was happier than me when they scrapped it.

 

The guy is otherwise quite clever. 

 

His brain just could not grasp it.

[If carlsberg did rivals...]

16 minutes ago, been here before said:

 

I mind being at the racing at Musselburgh years back and having to explain to the lassie I was with that the weight on the racecard was the weight the horse was carrying and not the combined weight of the horse and jockey.

 

I'm trying to picture a horse and jockey combo weighing 10 stone! It ain't pretty 😱

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

5 minutes ago, martoon said:

The away goal rule.

 

A relative of mine just could not get his head around it. It didn’t help that he couldn't let go of the "away goals count double" notion.

 

No one was happier than me when they scrapped it.

 

The guy is otherwise quite clever. 

 

His brain just could not grasp it.

 

Aye, it didn't help that commentators would always spout that bollocks.  Led to people completely misunderstanding the rule. 

[ShedBoy]

55 minutes ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

That's you trying to act clever rather than actually properly responding to the thread imo.

Any football fan, at any level should know this.

 

zero cleverness required.

 

 

[Fozzyonthefence]

4 minutes ago, ShedBoy said:

Any football fan, at any level should know this.

 

zero cleverness required.

 

 

That’s not what the thread is about though.  You’ve just thrown in a random rule for no reason.

[merrymac]

1 hour ago, If carlsberg did rivals... said:

Not football but horse racing, was trying to pick some nags many years ago with my wife next to me in the bookies, one horse had nap next to his name. She asked if that meant it had a sleep before the race! Obviously I told her that's exactly what it meant!

In a similar vein

my dear old ma , many years ago watching the racing on TV and  looking at the betting

 

“ That horse Bar must be really tired it runs in every race “ 

😳🤣

 

[FWJ]

Driving through Glasgow one day a ‘Rangers fan’ pointed out the window and asked ‘what’s that over there?’

 

It was Ibrox 

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

Why we always say the referee is a w@nker when they are just there to referee the game in an impartial manner in the eyes of the so called football fan.

Edited March 30 by All roads lead to Gorgie

[ShedBoy]

39 minutes ago, Fozzyonthefence said:

That’s not what the thread is about though.  You’ve just thrown in a random rule for no reason.

What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan?

 

It’s exactly what the thread’s about.

 

 

[FarmerTweedy]

1 hour ago, martoon said:

The away goal rule.

 

A relative of mine just could not get his head around it. It didn’t help that he couldn't let go of the "away goals count double" notion.

 

No one was happier than me when they scrapped it.

 

The guy is otherwise quite clever. 

 

His brain just could not grasp it.

A quirk of the away goals rule that used to amuse me was that you couldn't win on away goals if you kept a clean sheet away from home. 

[AlphonseCapone]

21 minutes ago, ShedBoy said:

What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan?

 

It’s exactly what the thread’s about.

 

 

 

So explain the time it happened and you had to explain it then? 

[Jim_Duncan]

That Pasquale Bruno was Italian and not German. 

[Fozzyonthefence]

35 minutes ago, ShedBoy said:

What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan?

 

It’s exactly what the thread’s about.

 

 

How many times have you seen this happen and had to explain it to someone?😂

[Boof]

To an Old Firm fan that no...I really do NOT have a favourite out of the two. If they're playing each other I want whichever result is most beneficial to Hearts. Other than that, multiple orderings-off, injuries, arrests, citations are what I'd seek.

[HMFC01]

I got asked once at a match, "Is that half time already?",  "No, they just finished the pre-match warm-up." 

😲

[been here before]

32 minutes ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

So explain the time it happened and you had to explain it then? 

 

17 minutes ago, Fozzyonthefence said:

How many times have you seen this happen and had to explain it to someone?😂

 

Aye, thats a conversation that has never taken place far less in the context of this thread.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

1 hour ago, FarmerTweedy said:

A quirk of the away goals rule that used to amuse me was that you couldn't win on away goals if you kept a clean sheet away from home. 

 

Oh here's another one I've had... We had a sweep on our bus for the time of our first goal in the second leg at home to Rosenborg. I got 105-115 minutes, ie during extra time. I had to explain how I couldn't possibly win! (Clue: We were 2-1 down from the first leg.)

[Gorgiewave]

My granny believed, or pretended to believe, that one point was awarded per goal scored.

[ShedBoy]

1 hour ago, AlphonseCapone said:

 

So explain the time it happened and you had to explain it then? 

 

1 hour ago, Fozzyonthefence said:

How many times have you seen this happen and had to explain it to someone?😂

2

 

There are a lot of fat dads out there that don’t know the laws of the game.

 

Edinburgh South v Edina h1b5

Easthouses v Peebles

 

[Watt-Zeefuik]

A very small number on JKB who during our admin year were furious as to why the club hadn’t signed better players.

[cosanostra]

4 hours ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said:

 

3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. 

 

 

That was on here right? I'm sure I remember reading that and being completely confused that anyone could think it was possible. 🤣

 

The number of posters on here who blame DoFs for signings that don't work out instead of blaming the manager / head coach who actually decides to sign them always seems weird to me. There's no way I've got the time or inclination to bother explaining it to them. They probably wouldn't understand or accept it anyway.

[martoon]

1 hour ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said:

 

Oh here's another one I've had... We had a sweep on our bus for the time of our first goal in the second leg at home to Rosenborg. I got 105-115 minutes, ie during extra time. I had to explain how I couldn't possibly win! (Clue: We were 2-1 down from the first leg.)

 

😄

 

I always liked Jasper Carrott's gag about a first goal sweep on the opening day of Birmingham City's season.

 

He got November.

Edited March 31 by martoon

[Bazzas right boot]

Results are better than flair. 

 

 

[redjambo]

5 hours ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said:

3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team.

 

Well, technically, you could have one game in hand over another team, but you are, for example, actually two games behind schedule and the other team one game behind schedule, with one of those games of yours, perhaps even the first to be played, being against the other team.

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

7 hours ago, cosanostra said:

 

That was on here right? I'm sure I remember reading that and being completely confused that anyone could think it was possible. 🤣

 

The number of posters on here who blame DoFs for signings that don't work out instead of blaming the manager / head coach who actually decides to sign them always seems weird to me. There's no way I've got the time or inclination to bother explaining it to them. They probably wouldn't understand or accept it anyway.

 

I remember it happening on here but it's actually come up in my real life too. 😄

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

6 hours ago, redjambo said:

 

Well, technically, you could have one game in hand over another team, but you are, for example, actually two games behind schedule and the other team one game behind schedule, with one of those games of yours, perhaps even the first to be played, being against the other team.

 

If you had one game in hand over that team before the game, you'd still have one after it.