Jump to content

Archie Battersbee life support to be switched off


JudyJudyJudy
 Share

Recommended Posts

JudyJudyJudy

Tragic situation . Heartbreaking really but I think the judge has made the right call . However I suppose The parents must feel there is some chance if recovery ? It’s wishful thinking , which Is completely understandable though . 

 

 

https://www.gbnews.uk/news/archie-battersbees-fate-decided-as-judge-rules-his-life-support-should-be-turned-off/313090?fbclid=IwAR2lmndAAEDFW--APVu5JqHoVMalxkZKqApRmbHkGF2hhvuFyt3SdE6mGx8&fs=e&s=cl

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 231
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Francis Albert

    11

  • MoncurMacdonaldMercer

    14

  • Jambo-Jimbo

    32

  • JudyJudyJudy

    20

AlimOzturk

Correct decision. Parents cannot make a rationale call in this situation and medical experts must be allowed to make the overall decision in this instance. If someone is brain dead then any essence of that person is gone. 
 

Sad situation and a feel for the family. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ray Gin

Correct decision. 

 

Parents with no medical qualifications are in no place to evaluate the kid's chances of recovery. Thoughts and prayers aren't going to cut it.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
Just now, Ray Gin said:

Correct decision. 

 

Parents with no medical qualifications are in no place to evaluate the kid's chances of recovery. Thoughts and prayers aren't going to cut it.

 

 

 

True and I noticed that a “ Christian “ group has got their oar in on the situation. Taking advantages of the parents vulnerabilities at the current time for their own agenda . 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jambo-Jimbo
6 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

Correct decision. Parents cannot make a rationale call in this situation and medical experts must be allowed to make the overall decision in this instance. If someone is brain dead then any essence of that person is gone. 
 

Sad situation and a feel for the family. 

 

Exactly, I heard his mother this morning saying that he is only sleeping and to give him more time to recover as he was breathing and his heart is beating. But it's only the machines that are doing that, not the laddie, and that is something which I think the parents and not just in this case, can't come to terms with, and that is why we see cases like this going to court, as the parents can't accept their child is dead.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
2 minutes ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

 

Exactly, I heard his mother this morning saying that he is only sleeping and to give him more time to recover as he was breathing and his heart is beating. But it's only the machines that are doing that, not the laddie, and that is something which I think the parents and not just in this case, can't come to terms with, and that is why we see cases like this going to court, as the parents can't accept their child is dead.

 

The parents obviously know that’s it’s futile so their way of dealing with it is saying he is “ sleeping “ etc . They will eventually have to accept the truth and then deal with that . It’s for all their Benefit that it’s switched . The wee lads too . 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

highlandjambo3

My daughter was found unconscious on the floor in her bedroom, she was rushed to hospital and put on life support whilst they tried to find out what had happened, it took 8 days for the doctors to discover she had had a bleed to the brain and, she would not wake up and there was nothing more anyone could do, they switched off life support* and she died two days later.  I put my trust in the science, I didn’t believe in any divine intervention and had no conflict with their decision.

 

*. Switching off life support is extremely difficult for the patient/family…..It’s not like flicking a light switch off, different parts of life support shut down at different times and it can take some time for the person to pass.  The professionals had warned us off about the trauma we would be seeing for up to 48hrs, Basically the part being supported by the machine suddenly comes back to life (or tries to) as it’s instinctive to try and live/survive, the body doesn’t just close down.  My daughter struggled for 36hrs before leaving us, her breathing was extremely laboured and, her heart rate never dropped below 170…….of comfort, we were all with her when she left.

 

They say that when your unconscious you can still hear although there’s no scientific proof of this.  My granddaughter was desperate to see her mum but, we kept putting her off as we didn’t want her seeing her mum plugged in on life support.  Eventually when we knew she wasn’t going to make it I, had the unenviable task of telling my granddaughter (hardest thing I’ve ever had to do) and she visited her mum, of course she was completely distressed.  My daughter passed away 15 minutes after my granddaughter visited……..we take great comfort in the knowledge that although she was unconscious my daughter was aware of who was with her.

Edited by highlandjambo3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
24 minutes ago, highlandjambo3 said:

I put my trust in the science, I didn’t believe in any divine intervention and had no conflict with their decision.

I do too. Its amazing what medical interventions can be done today. Incredible in fact.  So sorry to hear about your daughter. 

 

I was watching Ricky Gervais comedy special last night and i liked what he said about religion and medicine.  

 

It was something along the lines of " yeah prayers are nice, its a nice thought but prayers and chemotherapy are much  better" Take away the prayers by all means but NOT the chemotherapy."  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
28 minutes ago, highlandjambo3 said:

My daughter passed away 15 minutes after my granddaughter visited……..we take great comfort in the knowledge that although she was unconscious my daughter was aware of who was with her.

Definitely makes one think that she was able to hear things around her which is a lovely thought to carry you forward. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

AlimOzturk

Forgetting about the court case and all the other stuff what a ****ing tragedy this is. I read something about some sort of online game gone wrong and a 12 year is now dead. What kind of online game could cause a 12 year to become brain dead and ultimately lose his life? 
 

What a complete and utter pointless loss of life for a young lad with his whole life ahead of him. My son is 10 and I couldn’t cope if something like this would happen. He is getting a chat about the importance of online safety (again) and he will be hearing about this young lads story. 

Edited by AlimOzturk
Link to comment
Share on other sites

iantjambo
5 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

Forgetting about the court case and all the other stuff what a ****ing tragedy this is. I read something about some sort of online game gone wrong and a 12 year is now dead. What kind of online game could cause a 12 year to become brain dead and ultimately lose his life? 
 

What a complete and utter pointless loss of life for a young lad with his whole life ahead of him. My son is 10 and I couldn’t cope if something like this would happen. He is getting a chat about the importance of online safety (again) and he will be hearing about this young lads story. 


That’s horrible. 
With the internet, social media and online gaming. Children are more vulnerable now than they’ve ever been.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
15 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:

Forgetting about the court case and all the other stuff what a ****ing tragedy this is. I read something about some sort of online game gone wrong and a 12 year is now dead. What kind of online game could cause a 12 year to become brain dead and ultimately lose his life? 
 

What a complete and utter pointless loss of life for a young lad with his whole life ahead of him. My son is 10 and I couldn’t cope if something like this would happen. He is getting a chat about the importance of online safety (again) and he will be hearing about this young lads story. 

Yes I can’t understand this ? What actually happened ? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

William H. Bonney
8 minutes ago, JudyJudyJudy said:

Yes I can’t understand this ? What actually happened ? 

 

I think the challenge was to choke yourself to the point of passing out. Looks like maybe he hanged himself.  

****ing tragic. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

AlimOzturk
5 minutes ago, JudyJudyJudy said:

Yes I can’t understand this ? What actually happened ? 


Basically an online trend thing where they choke themselves until they pass out and film it as a challenge. Wtf has the world come to. 
 

No doubt started by some sick ******* knowing that kids will no doubt do it and die as a result. 
 

There has always been trends like this even pre internet days. I remember at my school kids would have to burn a lighter until red hot before holding it against their skin for a ms long as they could. Or scratch their skin until it would bleed. Crazy shit. 
 

The internet however brings about a whole other level of risk for kids nowadays. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy
50 minutes ago, William H. Bonney said:

 

I think the challenge was to choke yourself to the point of passing out. Looks like maybe he hanged himself.  

****ing tragic. 

 

49 minutes ago, AlimOzturk said:


Basically an online trend thing where they choke themselves until they pass out and film it as a challenge. Wtf has the world come to. 
 

No doubt started by some sick ******* knowing that kids will no doubt do it and die as a result. 
 

There has always been trends like this even pre internet days. I remember at my school kids would have to burn a lighter until red hot before holding it against their skin for a ms long as they could. Or scratch their skin until it would bleed. Crazy shit. 
 

The internet however brings about a whole other level of risk for kids nowadays. 

Just awful really . What creeps devised this ? Yes parents need to be so vigilant and savvy about their kids online activities . 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ri Alban

It's always the right decision, when it's not your child. A Heartbreaking tragedy. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dawnrazor

Was this a result of the "Blue Whale" challenge? I only heard about it on Saturday from a mates wife who works in a school, who the **** come up with these sorts of things??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ri Alban
1 hour ago, AlimOzturk said:


Basically an online trend thing where they choke themselves until they pass out and film it as a challenge. Wtf has the world come to. 
 

No doubt started by some sick ******* knowing that kids will no doubt do it and die as a result. 
 

There has always been trends like this even pre internet days. I remember at my school kids would have to burn a lighter until red hot before holding it against their skin for a ms long as they could. Or scratch their skin until it would bleed. Crazy shit. 
 

The internet however brings about a whole other level of risk for kids nowadays. 

We used to do fainters, were you held your breath and someone either gave you a bear hug of you stood against a wall and they pressed their bodyweight against you, until you fainted. The nonsense you did when you were young.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ri Alban
Just now, Dawnrazor said:

Was this a result of the "Blue Whale" challenge? I only heard about it on Saturday from a mates wife who works in a school, who the **** come up with these sorts of things??

I just thought he did a somersault off his bed and hurt himself. I had no idea they were doing this stuff.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pans Jambo
20 hours ago, highlandjambo3 said:

My daughter was found unconscious on the floor in her bedroom, she was rushed to hospital and put on life support whilst they tried to find out what had happened, it took 8 days for the doctors to discover she had had a bleed to the brain and, she would not wake up and there was nothing more anyone could do, they switched off life support* and she died two days later.  I put my trust in the science, I didn’t believe in any divine intervention and had no conflict with their decision.

 

*. Switching off life support is extremely difficult for the patient/family…..It’s not like flicking a light switch off, different parts of life support shut down at different times and it can take some time for the person to pass.  The professionals had warned us off about the trauma we would be seeing for up to 48hrs, Basically the part being supported by the machine suddenly comes back to life (or tries to) as it’s instinctive to try and live/survive, the body doesn’t just close down.  My daughter struggled for 36hrs before leaving us, her breathing was extremely laboured and, her heart rate never dropped below 170…….of comfort, we were all with her when she left.

 

They say that when your unconscious you can still hear although there’s no scientific proof of this.  My granddaughter was desperate to see her mum but, we kept putting her off as we didn’t want her seeing her mum plugged in on life support.  Eventually when we knew she wasn’t going to make it I, had the unenviable task of telling my granddaughter (hardest thing I’ve ever had to do) and she visited her mum, of course she was completely distressed.  My daughter passed away 15 minutes after my granddaughter visited……..we take great comfort in the knowledge that although she was unconscious my daughter was aware of who was with her.

Hi Highland. I noticed nobody had replied to your post. It's likely that folk just don't know what to say to something as traumatic as that which is understandable. I really don't know what to say myself other than sometimes on a football forum, you forget that people are experiencing real life and all that entails. 

My heart sank as I read that and I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for posting that. Was very brave of you. Not sure I could knowing how I feel about my family.

Take care bud.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dennis Denuto
21 hours ago, highlandjambo3 said:

My daughter was found unconscious on the floor in her bedroom, she was rushed to hospital and put on life support whilst they tried to find out what had happened, it took 8 days for the doctors to discover she had had a bleed to the brain and, she would not wake up and there was nothing more anyone could do, they switched off life support* and she died two days later.  I put my trust in the science, I didn’t believe in any divine intervention and had no conflict with their decision.

 

*. Switching off life support is extremely difficult for the patient/family…..It’s not like flicking a light switch off, different parts of life support shut down at different times and it can take some time for the person to pass.  The professionals had warned us off about the trauma we would be seeing for up to 48hrs, Basically the part being supported by the machine suddenly comes back to life (or tries to) as it’s instinctive to try and live/survive, the body doesn’t just close down.  My daughter struggled for 36hrs before leaving us, her breathing was extremely laboured and, her heart rate never dropped below 170…….of comfort, we were all with her when she left.

 

They say that when your unconscious you can still hear although there’s no scientific proof of this.  My granddaughter was desperate to see her mum but, we kept putting her off as we didn’t want her seeing her mum plugged in on life support.  Eventually when we knew she wasn’t going to make it I, had the unenviable task of telling my granddaughter (hardest thing I’ve ever had to do) and she visited her mum, of course she was completely distressed.  My daughter passed away 15 minutes after my granddaughter visited……..we take great comfort in the knowledge that although she was unconscious my daughter was aware of who was with her.

Must have been a horrific situation to have been in and I really feel for you and our family. I am glad you managed to find the strength to deal with it, like I said must have been very difficult.

 

I think this is why I find it hard to judge the parents in cases like this and I am not sure going to court is necessarily the best way to resolve it, I hope they find some peace.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Dennis Denuto said:

Must have been a horrific situation to have been in and I really feel for you and our family. I am glad you managed to find the strength to deal with it, like I said must have been very difficult.

 

I think this is why I find it hard to judge the parents in cases like this and I am not sure going to court is necessarily the best way to resolve it, I hope they find some peace.


Impossible to resolve without the courts as some people will never accept medical advice no matter how many different opinions they get. 
 

Easy to say sitting here and hopefully I’ll never been in this situation but I think if you get two separate medical opinions coming to the same conclusions then that should really be the way to go. 

Edited by Dazo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dennis Denuto
1 minute ago, Dazo said:


Impossible to resolve without the courts as some people will never accept medical advice no matter how many different opinions they get. 
 

Easy to say sitting here and hopefully I’ll never been in this situation but I think if you get two separate medical opinions coming to the same conclusions then that should really be the way to go. 

Agree with this, I think it is impossible to say for sure and I find it hard to judge others that find it difficult to deal with

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Dennis Denuto said:

Agree with this, I think it is impossible to say for sure and I find it hard to judge others that find it difficult to deal with


Absolutely, I’m not judging and until you have to deal with such things you really don’t know how you would react. Still feel medical advice is the way to go though and at the end of the day that’s generally the way the courts go too. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dennis Denuto
3 minutes ago, Dazo said:


Absolutely, I’m not judging and until you have to deal with such things you really don’t know how you would react. Still feel medical advice is the way to go though and at the end of the day that’s generally the way the courts go too. 

Agreed

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Herbert.

I read some absolute idiots on Facebook saying the doctors could be wrong because they can make mistakes/ have missed cancer etc.. It's blindingly obvious the boy won't recover and even if he did some how regain consciousness he would be in a vegetative state for the rest of his days because he's braindead. The parents are in a position no one wants to be in but they need to be kind and let the boy go. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jambo-Jimbo

Don't shoot the messenger.

 

I seen an interview with the mother on GB News this morning, in it she said that she's been contacted by a doctor in America who claims to be able to rejuvenate necrotic cells back to life.  I got the impression that's what she clinging onto, that somehow this 'doctor' can cure her son.

 

We often see these 'doctors' crawl out the woodwork in cases such as this, often with bold claims, that haven't been peer reviewed or even tried on humans or animals, but on some cells in a lab if even that.  The parents must be so desperate that'll they'll cling onto any hope, even false hope.

Edited by Jambo-Jimbo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ron Burgundy
56 minutes ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

Don't shoot the messenger.

 

I seen an interview with the mother on GB News this morning, in it she said that she's been contacted by a doctor in America who claims to be able to rejuvenate necrotic cells back to life.  I got the impression that's what she clinging onto, that somehow this 'doctor' can cure her son.

 

We often see these 'doctors' crawl out the woodwork in cases such as this, often with bold claims, that haven't been peer reviewed or even tried on humans or animals, but on some cells in a lab if even that.  The parents must be so desperate that'll they'll cling onto any hope, even false hope.

I know I would. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, highlandjambo3 said:

My daughter was found unconscious on the floor in her bedroom, she was rushed to hospital and put on life support whilst they tried to find out what had happened, it took 8 days for the doctors to discover she had had a bleed to the brain and, she would not wake up and there was nothing more anyone could do, they switched off life support* and she died two days later.  I put my trust in the science, I didn’t believe in any divine intervention and had no conflict with their decision.

 

*. Switching off life support is extremely difficult for the patient/family…..It’s not like flicking a light switch off, different parts of life support shut down at different times and it can take some time for the person to pass.  The professionals had warned us off about the trauma we would be seeing for up to 48hrs, Basically the part being supported by the machine suddenly comes back to life (or tries to) as it’s instinctive to try and live/survive, the body doesn’t just close down.  My daughter struggled for 36hrs before leaving us, her breathing was extremely laboured and, her heart rate never dropped below 170…….of comfort, we were all with her when she left.

 

They say that when your unconscious you can still hear although there’s no scientific proof of this.  My granddaughter was desperate to see her mum but, we kept putting her off as we didn’t want her seeing her mum plugged in on life support.  Eventually when we knew she wasn’t going to make it I, had the unenviable task of telling my granddaughter (hardest thing I’ve ever had to do) and she visited her mum, of course she was completely distressed.  My daughter passed away 15 minutes after my granddaughter visited……..we take great comfort in the knowledge that although she was unconscious my daughter was aware of who was with her.

My ex wife died of a brain haemorrhage 4 years ago. She was in life support for a fortnight or so and seemed to be slowly improving. But then the phone call came that there was no sign of brain activity. We were given an estimate of the time we had left to visit and talk to her after the support was switched off. The worst moments of my life sitting chatting to her knowing she be gone within hours. A small consolation was knowing that as she slipped away they were actively finding people who needed organ donations. Four people had their lives changed that same week due to her being a registered donor. It definitely helped me somehow. 

Edited by Tazio
Link to comment
Share on other sites

highlandjambo3
2 hours ago, Pans Jambo said:

Hi Highland. I noticed nobody had replied to your post. It's likely that folk just don't know what to say to something as traumatic as that which is understandable. I really don't know what to say myself other than sometimes on a football forum, you forget that people are experiencing real life and all that entails. 

My heart sank as I read that and I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for posting that. Was very brave of you. Not sure I could knowing how I feel about my family.

Take care bud.

Hi,

 

Thanks, it’s totally understandable people don’t know how to respond, I wouldn’t know where to start.  It’s been 5 years now but things are much better, I only hung up pictures again of her last year as I had taken them all down.  There were things I couldn’t do or I’d avoid like going to the Christmas pantomime, I used to take the kids every year but the memory would be to painful but,  we’re all going back again this year……..time doesn’t really heal (IMO) it allows you to deal with the grief better.  
 

One thing I would like to highlight from my experience, I put up a “coping” front when others asked how I was doing…..although I was in a dark place early on but things gradually got better………….if you know anyone who has lost someone close and they’ve told you that’s doing fine……..please please ask them again and again……REALLY find out how they are doing because just telling one person makes a huge difference.

Edited by highlandjambo3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Herbert.
11 minutes ago, highlandjambo3 said:

Hi,

 

Thanks, it’s totally understandable people don’t know how to respond, I wouldn’t know where to start.  It’s been 5 years now but things are much better, I only hung up pictures again of her last year as I had taken them all down.  There were things I couldn’t do or I’d avoid like going to the Christmas pantomime, I used to take the kids every year but the memory would be to painful but,  we’re all going back again this year……..time doesn’t really heal (IMO) it allows you to deal with the grief better.  
 

One thing I would like to highlight from my experience, I put up a “coping” front when others asked how I was doing…..although I was in a dark place early on but things gradually got better………….if you know anyone who has lost someone close and they’ve told you that’s doing fine……..please please ask them again and again……REALLY find out how they are doing because just telling one person makes a huge difference.

 

How old was your daughter?

 

I think when people are on life support and there's 0 chance of recovery the decision should be down to the doctors. Keeping someone alive longer than they need to is cruel.Months/Years in a hospital bed needing a machine to keep you going is no life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

highlandjambo3
27 minutes ago, Herbert. said:

 

How old was your daughter?

 

I think when people are on life support and there's 0 chance of recovery the decision should be down to the doctors. Keeping someone alive longer than they need to is cruel.Months/Years in a hospital bed needing a machine to keep you going is no life.

She was 27

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Irufushi

What a sad thread , I’m sorry for your loss highlandjambo and tazio. My partner was awake when they told her that her lungs weren’t going to recover, she was on an ecmo machine at the time and I’m forever thankful that I got to say goodbye to her and our daughter did too. 
 

as for the young lad it’s absolutely tragic but I firmly believe you have to trust what these experts tell you. Incredibly sad. 
 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

jack D and coke
3 hours ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

Don't shoot the messenger.

 

I seen an interview with the mother on GB News this morning, in it she said that she's been contacted by a doctor in America who claims to be able to rejuvenate necrotic cells back to life.  I got the impression that's what she clinging onto, that somehow this 'doctor' can cure her son.

 

We often see these 'doctors' crawl out the woodwork in cases such as this, often with bold claims, that haven't been peer reviewed or even tried on humans or animals, but on some cells in a lab if even that.  The parents must be so desperate that'll they'll cling onto any hope, even false hope.

Absolutely you would. I thought I saw some video she filmed on her phone of him squeezing her hand too. You’d just cling to the hope he wasn’t gone and be prepared to try anything. 
Highlands post above was a sobering read too. 
The heartache some people go through. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.T.F.Robertson
On 13/06/2022 at 06:38, highlandjambo3 said:

My daughter was found unconscious on the floor in her bedroom, she was rushed to hospital and put on life support whilst they tried to find out what had happened, it took 8 days for the doctors to discover she had had a bleed to the brain and, she would not wake up and there was nothing more anyone could do, they switched off life support* and she died two days later.  I put my trust in the science, I didn’t believe in any divine intervention and had no conflict with their decision.

 

*. Switching off life support is extremely difficult for the patient/family…..It’s not like flicking a light switch off, different parts of life support shut down at different times and it can take some time for the person to pass.  The professionals had warned us off about the trauma we would be seeing for up to 48hrs, Basically the part being supported by the machine suddenly comes back to life (or tries to) as it’s instinctive to try and live/survive, the body doesn’t just close down.  My daughter struggled for 36hrs before leaving us, her breathing was extremely laboured and, her heart rate never dropped below 170…….of comfort, we were all with her when she left.

 

They say that when your unconscious you can still hear although there’s no scientific proof of this.  My granddaughter was desperate to see her mum but, we kept putting her off as we didn’t want her seeing her mum plugged in on life support.  Eventually when we knew she wasn’t going to make it I, had the unenviable task of telling my granddaughter (hardest thing I’ve ever had to do) and she visited her mum, of course she was completely distressed.  My daughter passed away 15 minutes after my granddaughter visited……..we take great comfort in the knowledge that although she was unconscious my daughter was aware of who was with her.

 

12 hours ago, Tazio said:

My ex wife died of a brain haemorrhage 4 years ago. She was in life support for a fortnight or so and seemed to be slowly improving. But then the phone call came that there was no sign of brain activity. We were given an estimate of the time we had left to visit and talk to her after the support was switched off. The worst moments of my life sitting chatting to her knowing she be gone within hours. A small consolation was knowing that as she slipped away they were actively finding people who needed organ donations. Four people had their lives changed that same week due to her being a registered donor. It definitely helped me somehow. 

 

I'm ashamed to say that I can get angry about the most insignificant things "upsetting" my routine.

Your posts have reminded me just how petty most of my "grievances" with life are.

 

Best to you both.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JudyJudyJudy

When I studied years back I always remember this quote regarding grief and loss . Freud sent it to a friend who’s son had died :

 

” We find a place for what we lose . Although  we know that after such a loss the acute stage of mourning will subside , we also know that we will shall  remain inconsolable and will never find a substitute . No matter what may fill the gap , even if filled completely , it nevertheless remains something else” 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Malinga the Swinga

Reading posts from Tazio, Irufushi & Highlandjambo have actually made me embarrassed at some of my posts in Scotland, energy and other threads.

I think in future, I'll use this as reminder of what really matters in life and to hat isn't whether Hanley played, energy price goes up or Boris tells a porky. 

It's family and people that count, the rest is just noise.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Malinga the Swinga said:

Reading posts from Tazio, Irufushi & Highlandjambo have actually made me embarrassed at some of my posts in Scotland, energy and other threads.

I think in future, I'll use this as reminder of what really matters in life and to hat isn't whether Hanley played, energy price goes up or Boris tells a porky. 

It's family and people that count, the rest is just noise.

But it’s the noise that makes all the other stuff good. Life is a nice balance, and once you get that balance sorted it’s all the better for it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.T.F.Robertson

 

The really pathetic part (me at least) is the realisation that it takes someone else's "misfortune" to bring you to the realisation you're actually lucky as feck. ('til it comes your turn)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

mrmarkus1981_1

My partner's older brother was in the Infirmary to have a mechanical heart valve replaced in December 2019.

 

We were in New York when the phone call came to say that he had suffered cardiac arrest while in recovery. He stayed in a Edinburgh for about a week before he was taken to Newcastle to wait for a donor heart.

 

He was on an ECMO machine for about 3 weeks waiting for a donor and was weak but doing better, he was doing daily 'exercise' (catching balloons etc). We were all hopeful.

 

Then he came down with a mysterious illness and went downhill. Whether it was the doctor returning from Chinese New Year or something else, you decide!

 

Anyhoo, about a week later we got the news that he was too weak and there was nothing else they could do. They turned the ECMO off and he was gone within the hour.

 

It's grim, I don't envy the people who have to make the decision or tell the family. Very sad :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 14/06/2022 at 15:05, highlandjambo3 said:

Hi,

 

Thanks, it’s totally understandable people don’t know how to respond, I wouldn’t know where to start.  It’s been 5 years now but things are much better, I only hung up pictures again of her last year as I had taken them all down.  There were things I couldn’t do or I’d avoid like going to the Christmas pantomime, I used to take the kids every year but the memory would be to painful but,  we’re all going back again this year……..time doesn’t really heal (IMO) it allows you to deal with the grief better.  
 

One thing I would like to highlight from my experience, I put up a “coping” front when others asked how I was doing…..although I was in a dark place early on but things gradually got better………….if you know anyone who has lost someone close and they’ve told you that’s doing fine……..please please ask them again and again……REALLY find out how they are doing because just telling one person makes a huge difference.

That is absolutely 100% bang on. I am really sorry for your loss mate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jambo-Jimbo

Mrs JJ's father had a brain haemorrhage and it was clear from very early on that there was little the medics could do, anyhow the point came when they wanted to turn his machines off, at first Mrs JJ's mother refused as he's still breathing and his heart is still beating, it was a couple of her sisters who managed to make her understand that he was gone, he was already dead and it was only the machines that were doing the breathing for him.  She finally agreed to turn the machines off and he went a very short time afterwards, he was only 39 years old.

 

We narrowly avoided a similar situation with my mother, she'd had a heart attack, then had a second much bigger one in hospital, this one caused a lot a damage and she was taken to ICU, where 3 days later she died, one of the doctors said that it was probably for the best that she'd went by herself, because tomorrow the doctors were going to have a serious conversation with us about turning the machines off, as there was simply nothing more they could do, there was just too much damage to her heart and she was never going to recover.  She was 58.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Herbert.
11 hours ago, J.T.F.Robertson said:

 

The really pathetic part (me at least) is the realisation that it takes someone else's "misfortune" to bring you to the realisation you're actually lucky as feck. ('til it comes your turn)

 

 

 

 

You know the good thing about when it is your turn, You won't know its your turn. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Der Kaiser

Have unfortunately been in a similar situation with my 1st. My Daughter was born with failing kidneys and lungs. This was when you only got one scan during pregnancy so she was born with everyone completely oblivious to the impossible fight she had as soon as she left the womb.

 

Doctors and staff were really amazing with me and the ex wife but it was very clearly made to us that she was going to die at some point and then you start thinking about what if that happens when you're asleep or at the toilet and the thought of not being there was terrifying to me. I've always described it as having the most beautiful and also the worst moment of my life at the same time. First time I held her was also the last time she was alive.

 

I can understand why someone would refuse to turn off life support when hope seems so minuscule. Even now there are times my thoughts drift to what if we just waited....what if a miracle was about to happen. The Dr, quite a famous guy at Simpsons who sadly passed a few years back was just phenomenal with us. He said no-one would force us into any decision but he helped us come to terms with the reality of the situation so that even when we made the decision it really felt like we made and we knew why it was best to say goodbye in a way that was best for her and us.

 

Here for just a day but still the biggest impact on my entire life. As already mentioned by someone on here you dont ever get over it...you just deal with the grief a little better over time. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

chuck berrys hairline

Having gone through similar to HJ two months ago with my 17 year old step daughter its truly a heartbreaking and lost state to be found in. You feel utterly helpless but when the doctors come tell you im giving you 24 hours to switch it off or i will is dumbfounding. But when they explain the circumstances and mention about being brain dead and in a vegetive state its not really fair on that person to be kept alive. Im so proud of my ex partner for her courage in her decison. I wasn't there when she passed at the end as i look after her little bro full time. She shur down within 3 hours of the machines going off. Im still draling with the effects of this everyday but i will help my ex till the day i drop as noone would wish this pain on their worst enemy. Personally i think the parents need to let go its for the best for everyone

 

Peace and Love folks x

Edited by chuck berrys hairline
Sp
Link to comment
Share on other sites

highlandjambo3
1 hour ago, chuck berrys hairline said:

Having gone through similar to HJ two months ago with my 17 year old step daughter its truly a heartbreaking and lost state to be found in. You feel utterly helpless but when the doctors come tell you im giving you 24 hours to switch it off or i will is dumbfounding. But when they explain the circumstances and mention about being brain dead and in a vegetive state its not really fair on that person to be kept alive. Im so proud of my ex partner for her courage in her decison. I wasn't there when she passed at the end as i look after her little bro full time. She shur down within 3 hours of the machines going off. Im still draling with the effects of this everyday but i will help my ex till the day i drop as noone would wish this pain on their worst enemy. Personally i think the parents need to let go its for the best for everyone

 

Peace and Love folks x

It takes time…….it always feels like it happened only yesterday, make sure you grieve in a way that comforts you and, tell someone close how you feel……..you’ll cry a lot but don’t be on your own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

tian447

It's very easy to see a username on here and forget that there is a real person behind the posts.  Some of the personal posts on here are a reminder of that, and takes some doing to share that with a bunch of arseholes on this forum.  There's nothing to really say that is going to be worth anything to any of you other than I hope you all are managing as best as you can.

 

The story in the OP is just as tragic, and it's very easy to just say things like "they should just accept it and move on" when it has absolutely no impact on you.  I agree that there is no hope of a recovery and that the judge has made the correct call, but I can also completely understand why the family are not so accepting of those facts.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Radio Ga Ga
28 minutes ago, tian447 said:

It's very easy to see a username on here and forget that there is a real person behind the posts.  Some of the personal posts on here are a reminder of that, and takes some doing to share that with a bunch of arseholes on this forum.  There's nothing to really say that is going to be worth anything to any of you other than I hope you all are managing as best as you can.

 

The story in the OP is just as tragic, and it's very easy to just say things like "they should just accept it and move on" when it has absolutely no impact on you.  I agree that there is no hope of a recovery and that the judge has made the correct call, but I can also completely understand why the family are not so accepting of those facts.

 

 

I agree, I’ve just read this thread with tears in my eyes. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share




×
×
  • Create New...