Nicknames that would no longer be tolerated..

[The Gorgie]

2 minutes ago, Carl Fredrickson said:

 

I used to see her stoating about before Covid. Hope she is doing well. 

Yeah she's still going strong cheers. Grandkids and great grandkids keeping her active.

[highlandjambo3]

Girl in primary school had an artificial arm and her surname rhymed with bandit (I won’t say just for privacy reasons)…….

 

Needless to say she was nicknamed “one armed bandit”…. I shit you not…..how bad was that.

[pablo]

2 hours ago, GinRummy said:

Is that not how the ex celtic keeper Pat Bonner's nickname is pronounced?

 

I used to work with a guy called that, and was aware of a few more. Was a variation of Patrick/Paddy wasn't it?

[Marvin]

2 hours ago, Morgan said:

Nicknames of folk you knew that would be frowned upon nowadays.

 

I knew a bloke who’s nickname was ‘Metallic Alec’.

 

Poor soul was called Alexander and had the misfortune to require a caliper.   

 

Imagine the outcry nowadays!

 

 

 

At primary we had a lad in my class nicknamed Monkey (Johnstone) 😂 Feck all to do with race. His face literally looked like an ape. Also he could climb any tree. He was brave too. When we played football at break time, our "pitch" was concrete and covered in broken glass. Monkey would be in goal. He used to dive on to the ground to make that crucial save. I found out years later he became very good at lawn bowling. 

[Unknown user]

A boy I was at school with failed a really easy maths test and was known as [filter edit]/Mongy/The **** for the rest of his time there.

Had a mate as a teenager who was English, he was Engy, I don't think I ever knew his real name, he was just Engy.

There was a lad with eczema called Flaky at my school too, poor bugger

 

[GinRummy]

40 minutes ago, pablo said:

 

I used to work with a guy called that, and was aware of a few more. Was a variation of Patrick/Paddy wasn't it?

Had only every heard it as a nickname for Bonner but always assumed so. 

[Mister T]

There was a lad in my year at primary school that was known as P**i. He introduced himself to a Facebook group by saying "Hi remember me, everyone used to call me P**i" . It was a red face for us all. 

 

Memories of being a child in the 70s is a real cringe at times. 

[OBE]

We had a Wullie tick tock, he walked with his feet splayed @ ten 2 two...

[Longbaws]

2 hours ago, been here before said:

Right my tale is possible not suitable so Ive hidden it away. Its to do with a boy who hit a hard time and tried to end it all. Fortunately its got a happy ending.

 

Thought it best to put up a bit of a warning incase you might not want to read it given the subject matter.

 

But the nickname would definitaly not be tolerated now!

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

I worked with a boy years ago who was known as The Cardigan. It took me a good while to find out why. It turns out that many years previously (1970s) his wife left him. Hits him pretty hard and he decided to end it all. To make sure he does it right he tied a rope round his neck and jumped out the window. Problem was it was something like a 20ft jump but he used 30ft of rope.

 

He hits the ground with a crash and ends up fracturing his pelvis and breaking his legs, a right mess. Anyhow thankfully he gots the help he needed both physically and mentally, got everything back on an even keel, picks up the pieces and returns to work. Got married again, had bairns, it all worked out well.

 

Took me a long time to find out why he had that nickname until one boozy afternoon one of his old colleagues finally told me the above story. I still couldnt work out The Cardigan bit until I was told...

 

 

 

 

 

 

..."well he's nearly a jumper".

 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍

[I P Knightley]

3 hours ago, Sawdust Caesar said:

I had really bad acne at when I was at school so had plenty of quite amusing nicknames, Moonface Alpha, Plook Skywalker, relief map of the Himalayas, to name but 3. 

Pizza Face or Ol' Ham'n'Mushroom for a similarly afflicted guy at our school.

 

Another guy, who was not particularly well acquainted with personal hygeine, got called PigPen after the character in Peanuts.

 

Finally, that I can think of at the moment, was a lad from Birmingham who worked with us. He had a really thick accent and we were always asking him to repeat himself. We started to call him Charlie as there would often be one of us who'd understood and could 'translate' for us. Charlie being the cat in the 1970s public information films who would say miaow incomprehensibly and then his owner would say, "Charlie says, never get in a car with a stranger..." or similar.

[superjack]

There was a guy at our school who, when he thought that no one was looking, he would always scratch at his arse in a way that looked like he was trying to pull something out. He got nicknamed howker (must be a gala word). He's now the Scotland rugby manager.

There's a guy from Harris who ran a fish farm that I was doing a lot of concrete jobs for, his nickname I won't say (racist word beginning with n). Not sure why he was called that but it is how he introduces himself. Was playing fives with him a few years back and there were a couple of guys of Asian decent in the other team. He couldn't understand why asked him what his real name was as there was no way I was shouting out his nickname. He understands now, and more and more people call him his real name now, but he still introduces himself the same way.

[Savage Vince]

There was a lassie in my high school who was called Dulux Julie because all the way through 1st and 2nd year she only wore one coat. 

[fast_blood]

There was a lass from where I grew up who had a cleft lip and she got called Triple-lip. 

 

Zippy for a woman who'd been bitten on the mouth as a child and was left with a wonky mouth. 

 

Mrs Soft (like the fella from the old softmints ad) was a woman who had some kind of muscle wastage condition. 

 

Not offensive, but my favourite nickname from someone I knew of growing up was for a guy who looked like Eagle Eye Cherry. He got the name Hawk Ear Plum. 

[martoon]

There was a lad in the year above me at school with a big nose who was called "Conky" by all his mates.

 

It was 2/3 years before I found out that his surname was Conkey.

 

A bloke in my year had the surname "Blackie". My mate, who knew him better than I did, shouted "Hey, Blackie" across the street to get his attention before realising there was a black bloke walking just a few paces behind. 

 

We did cross the road to explain, and apologise, to the bloke. After corroboration from our schoolmate he saw the funny side.

 

True story.

 

[Jamstomorrow]

4 hours ago, Sir Craig Gordon said:

Growing up in gorebridge then you'll probably know someone in my family, everyone seems to know a Blackhurst.

I knew a Liz Blackhurst.  She was a weaver in a factory in Peebles back in the 70's.

[Tazio]

Not a nickname to her face but what she was known as all through the village I lived in in West Lothian. 
Shitty Tits. 
When she was a teenager a boyfriend asked if could do that very deed to her. He then proceeded to tell all his mates, who then told all their mates. It was actually quite sad as by the time I lived there she was in her late 20’s with kids at school who would be aware of, or soon would be, her name and why it existed. 

Edited November 16, 2021 by Tazio

[Guest]

These days, I suspect that "Shadow" might hit me over the head with his substantial manhood if I called him that.

[Sawdust Caesar]

1 hour ago, I P Knightley said:

Pizza Face or Ol' Ham'n'Mushroom for a similarly afflicted guy at our school.

 

Another guy, who was not particularly well acquainted with personal hygeine, got called PigPen after the character in Peanuts.

 

Finally, that I can think of at the moment, was a lad from Birmingham who worked with us. He had a really thick accent and we were always asking him to repeat himself. We started to call him Charlie as there would often be one of us who'd understood and could 'translate' for us. Charlie being the cat in the 1970s public information films who would say miaow incomprehensibly and then his owner would say, "Charlie says, never get in a car with a stranger..." or similar.

Yeah, I got pizza face said many a time as well. Never got ham'n'mushroom though. 

 

Aye there were some great public information films back in the 70s. I'm sure some kids must have avoided something awful happening to them because of those films.

[Sawdust Caesar]

4 hours ago, theshed said:

Even the less offensive ones like 

 

Fatty Fleming....specky joe 90..... Ginger minge 

 

Calling someone those names at school now would probably get you in bother 

On the same theme there is Irn Bru Bush and Fanta f a nn y.

[The Real Maroonblood]

There was a girl where I worked called "The Trout."

She swallowed everything. 

[whodanny]

Old guy who lived near us when I was a kid was totally bald but with a huge bushy beard. Known as "upside doon heid"

[Morgan]

7 minutes ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

There was a girl where I worked called "The Trout."

She swallowed everything. 

[whodanny]

Oh, and there was a guy known as "The clock" because he had one hand bigger than the other. Like Jeremy Beadle.

[Morgan]

Just now, whodanny said:

Oh, and there was a guy known as "The clock" because he had one hand bigger than the other. Like Jeremy Beadle.

If his initials were B.A. then I know him.

[been here before]

1 minute ago, whodanny said:

Oh, and there was a guy known as "The clock" because he had one hand bigger than the other. Like Jeremy Beadle.

 

On the one hand Jeremy Beadle has a huge cxck.

 

But on the other hand....

[whodanny]

1 minute ago, Morgan said:

If his initials were B.A. then I know him.

I never actually knew his real name, he worked for the cooncil in Stirling when I was there.

[skinnybob72]

There’s a lassie at work we call ‘citrus’ because she has a face that looks like she’s sucking a lemon. 
 

There was a guy we called ‘slinky’ because he wasn’t really any use but it would have been amusing to push him down the stairs. 

[Morgan]

Just now, skinnybob72 said:

There’s a lassie at work we call ‘citrus’ because she has a face that looks like she’s sucking a lemon. 
 

There was a guy we called ‘slinky’ because he wasn’t really any use but it would have been amusing to push him down the stairs. 

The ‘Slinky’ bit will have bypassed at least 90% of the folk that read your post.  😀

 

I got it.  👍

[Morgan]

2 minutes ago, whodanny said:

I never actually knew his real name, he worked for the cooncil in Stirling when I was there.

Not the same bloke then, Danny.

[whodanny]

A guy i knew called his wife "Semtex" because she was always blowing up at him. Had us in stiches in the pub one night, telling us a story about them having a fight, which ended in him lobbing a brick through the rear windscreen of the car as she drove off in a rage. He then realised it was his car she was driving, hers was sitting in the driveway 😄

Amazingly they were still together up until a few years ago, when he passed away.

[Салатные палочки]

One of my best mates is nicknamed a derogatory term for a black person beginning with 'C'. I don't know how it came about but he's had it since about primary 3. He still gets called it to this day. 

[Rousset1]

An older black man with ginger hair who wandered around my town was known as Duracell.

[Carl Fredrickson]

Just remembered another one, a guy in our boys club football team had a large nose and was nicknamed Scooter. 

 

The coach was a bit of a knob and his two sons always got a game no matter how bad they were. The family were hibs fans and i took great delight in calling one of the lads "hibbee" and the other one "CeeUNext......"

[The Real Maroonblood]

30 minutes ago, Rousset1 said:

An older black man with ginger hair who wandered around my town was known as Duracell.

Did he have a long life?

[Mac_fae_Gillie]

7 hours ago, John Findlay said:

Knew a bloke with the surname Din. He was nicknamed Gonga.

Thats not really that bad as it is focused on his name, like calling someone called "Watts" Charlie or "White" snowy, Ganga Din was a man of great bravery after all. That said calling an Indian this based on ethic background is very wrong.

[JudyJudyJudy]

1 hour ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

There was a girl where I worked called "The Trout."

She swallowed everything. 

 

[The White Cockade]

Had a boy at school called Eric so he was Eck 90

Another boy with a big round face was called Sconey 

and another boy who wasn’t quite right called Tam the Bam

a teacher called Hunchy

at Lothian Region we had an FT Fatty Trainee and a BTA Big Titted Anne

 

[Unknown user]

2 hours ago, Tazio said:

Not a nickname to her face but what she was known as all through the village I lived in in West Lothian. 
Shitty Tits. 
When she was a teenager a boyfriend asked if could do that very deed to her. He then proceeded to tell all his mates, who then told all their mates. It was actually quite sad as by the time I lived there she was in her late 20’s with kids at school who would be aware of, or soon would be, her name and why it existed. 

 

God, imagine discovering your mum is Shitty Tits

[The Gorgie]

11 hours ago, Jamstomorrow said:

I knew a Liz Blackhurst.  She was a weaver in a factory in Peebles back in the 70's.

My mums nana was called Liz, tbh i don't know anything about her she died before i was born.

[Vlad Magic]

Pinched from FB.

 

Guy called Keith who was missing an eye. Nickname “Keth”.

 

Guy with one ear bigger than the other. Nickname “18 months”.

 

Guy with one leg longer than the other causing him to walk with a distinct wobble. Nickname “snipers nightmare”.

 

 

[PortyJambo]

10 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

One of my best mates is nicknamed a derogatory term for a black person beginning with 'C'. I don't know how it came about but he's had it since about primary 3. He still gets called it to this day. 

 

Friend of mine has the same nickname, from his surname being Calhoun.

[3fingersreid]

10 hours ago, Salad Fingers said:

One of my best mates is nicknamed a derogatory term for a black person beginning with 'C'. I don't know how it came about but he's had it since about primary 3. He still gets called it to this day. 

I used to have the pleasure of playing 5’s with Mark ( or rather his nickname) when you see him next tell him “ cabbie ( 5’s keeper) was asking for him 👍🏻
 

when I was an apprentice printer I suffered from acne , therefor Sinbad the Sailor got changed to Skinbad the Printer 😂😂

 

there’s no chance the factory floor names I grew up knowing in the 80’ & 90’s would be allowed now 😂😂😂

[Cairneyhill Jambo]

18 hours ago, Stu_HMFC said:

I remember some nutter in Linlithgow going with the nick name P@@i - Horrible! He said it was his nick name all his life absolute bullshit. Would even defend getting called it when folk would question him. I used to play football for the same team as him and folk yelling out his "nickname" for the ball anyone watching this from a distance would be shocked. 

If his surname began with the letter L, he stayed across the road from me.  He only passed away recently.

[Stu_HMFC]

4 minutes ago, Cairneyhill Jambo said:

If his surname began with the letter L, he stayed across the road from me.  He only passed away recently.

Nah wasn't him man. Mentioned to EIEIO the boy was ages with me maybe bit older I'm 30 next week. was a younger guy. 

[Stu_HMFC]

Guy I knew Davy got called Peas and Gravy (Its a common one in the east knowing a few peas and gravy's ) 😂 its phased itself out just goes with Peas now. In his mid 30s and going with the nickname still Peas. 

[Tazio]

6 minutes ago, Stu_HMFC said:

Guy I knew Davy got called Peas and Gravy (Its a common one in the east knowing a few peas and gravy's ) 😂 its phased itself out just goes with Peas now. In his mid 30s and going with the nickname still Peas. 

Used to be quite a common one. Confusingly I also used to know a Peas but his was from Peas and Barley. 

[Tazio]

12 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said:

I worked beside a person who was known as c**tface. 

 

Why ? 

 

Because she was a **** and was quite proud of the fact.

 

People indeed are strange....

I've got a mate who's called CB by everyone he works with. Short for c**tybaws, as he loves swearing and uses it well and fluently with many variations. 

[redtipsjambo]

13 hours ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

There was a girl where I worked called "The Trout."

She swallowed everything. 

On the same theme, knew a lassie nicknamed the Turkey, she liked to G_bb_e

also worked a guy called Kit Kat…only had four fingers

[Locky]

13 hours ago, whodanny said:

Oh, and there was a guy known as "The clock" because he had one hand bigger than the other. Like Jeremy Beadle.

Guy in my old office got called that too. Couldn't stop laughing when someone explained that to me.

18 hours ago, been here before said:

Right my tale is possible not suitable so Ive hidden it away. Its to do with a boy who hit a hard time and tried to end it all. Fortunately its got a happy ending.

 

Thought it best to put up a bit of a warning incase you might not want to read it given the subject matter.

 

But the nickname would definitaly not be tolerated now!

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

I worked with a boy years ago who was known as The Cardigan. It took me a good while to find out why. It turns out that many years previously (1970s) his wife left him. Hits him pretty hard and he decided to end it all. To make sure he does it right he tied a rope round his neck and jumped out the window. Problem was it was something like a 20ft jump but he used 30ft of rope.

 

He hits the ground with a crash and ends up fracturing his pelvis and breaking his legs, a right mess. Anyhow thankfully he gots the help he needed both physically and mentally, got everything back on an even keel, picks up the pieces and returns to work. Got married again, had bairns, it all worked out well.

 

Took me a long time to find out why he had that nickname until one boozy afternoon one of his old colleagues finally told me the above story. I still couldnt work out The Cardigan bit until I was told...

 

 

 

 

 

 

..."well he's nearly a jumper".

 

Sorry but that is the funniest thing I've read on here for some time.   30ft rope for a 20ft jump had me in stitches.

[Locky]

My Dad grew up round about Drylaw and Muirhouse in the 80's with a couple of guys nicknamed a rather derogatory term for Chinese people. No idea why as they weren't Chinese. He also had 2 lads in his class called Phillip at one point. One white and one black, so naturally, Black Phillip... Best part about that one though, is his surname actually was Black, so on the register he literally was Black Phillip and it stuck.

 

None too bad from my youth. Did know a 'Darkie' but his surname was Darke in fairness. My Sunday football team played a cup game not long before Covid against a team from Fife who's captain was called '***'. He looked to be naturally quite tanned so I can only assume that was why. They were a horrible team. The kind of guys you'd fully expect to have a captain with that nickname.